1. Social environments/activities are gone 2. Social skills are gone 3. Money/economic opportunities are gone 4. Inexpensive living is gone 5. Community culture is gone
1. wrong 2. you can learn & practice 3. get a job 4. find roommates 5. not entirely, you can support community culture by going to events even hanging out at the mall
@@free-the-whales 1. Most social places/gatherings have been closed or became hard to enter after pandemic 2. Stop kidding yourself, our mindset has drastically changed these years and this phenomenon was studied en mass 3. How about you pay us what you owe? Prices went up yet the wage has barely moved and inch. 4. Or stop hogging every living space and making them into expensive airbnb 5. Hanging out at the mall? What???
@@DarkSamael55 there’s still malls around and places to see people, bookstores , where I live we still have these , where do you live where you don’t have any where to go?
Why does party culture suck now? 🤔 1. Nobody dances anymore….. - Back then, even if you sucked or didn’t know how people still found their way to the dance floor/middle of the room and had fun, regardless of who was watching. - No one wants to go to an event where everyone’s just standing against the wall 2. Everyone’s always recording things for some reason - No one wants to let loose and enjoy themselves because they’re (rightfully) worried about ending up on the internet, forever being a laughingstock.
Yep, back in early/mid 2000s kids started getting cell phones but majority didn't have cameras/internet access. No one was on their phones constantly at parties/just hanging out. Miss split screen Goldeneye, slappers only was so fun.
Club culture was about living in the moment. Camera phones introduced anxiety to the party, getting future job options destroyed by someone taking an out of context picture ruins the moment. The club went from facing nervousness by talking to strangers, to being lined with wall flowers who are extra judgemental of those making the first approach. Its ok to be rejected, but people don't want to risk becoming a meme.
I think this is the best assessment I've read about people's general anxiety to be "social" these days. It makes a lot of sense when viewed through this lens.
@@cosmo9925 Agreed, Gen Z just seems to be the first generation that doesn’t know how to enjoy clubs, bars, or any random in-person social interaction. It’s like they always think about the worst in people when in-person and aren’t open to new people. I also think it’s a bigger problem in U.S. than other countries. When my wife and I travel to other countries people just seem to be happier and know how to have fun.
people don’t want to risk the embarrassment of being recorded while dancing. your enjoyment might end up making you twitter’s main character of the day…
we don't really need parties to make social relationships, I mean she said like no parties=loniless but it is not the one way to make friends after school
The decline of third places in countries like the US is so baffling to me. There are no places for social gatherings. You want a coffee? Drive through. Want something to eat? Drive through. You want to sit down in the park? Sorry, private property. Great video!
Who would want a coffee with you? Who would want to eat with you? Who would sit with you in a park? If you are an average guy forget these programs. You don't really matter to anyone.
@@tuinov6286 sounds like projection to me. I’m a “average guy” (whatever that’s supposed to be) and I have a lot of great friends from different backgrounds and genders. Grow up, seek therapy and be a good person, periodt.
I've noticed that every popular song in early 2010s was about parties, clubbing, hanging out with friends, radiated positive energy. What happened to us?
Technology not only contributed to the loneliness of out generation, but the degradation as well. There are so many people arguing online, spreading misinformation, going to extremes with their political beliefs, revolving their whole personality around their online persona and instagram "beautiful life" image, creating new labels for gender identities... Back in the day, we didn't think about it. We just lived.
@@user-xu5ym4jd3m I 100% agree, I'm 19 and so disappointed at a huge part of my generation because of that mindset. To come of age in a time where you need to know the real world but everyone just spends all day online and expects you to do the same is frustrating
not to mention most people have to work non stop to upkeep their shit 1700 a month shoebox room. Something that doesn't get mention enough, we have to work all the time if you want to have anything apart from basics.
Old dude here. 61. Very well done. I think there is also more awareness now about the dangers of drugs and alcohol than when I began college in 1981. Alcohol and drugs were EVERYWHERE back then and were really, really cheap. To the credit of people your age they are making much wiser decisions than my generation did about those things. Glad to see that. I think that the unspoken thing too might be that we are very fractious as a society right now. We are divided up into camps along various lines, and each camp holds steadfast to its territory. It was nothing like this four decades ago. That fact is decidedly unhelpful when it comes to meeting people if you decide that every other group except your own is bad. Excellent video btw. Keep up the good work!
Smoking was a big thing too. Many times partying was just an infinite loop of smoking and drinking. And one can't really do much other than socialize while smoking.
Hello there sir, 18M here, I just wanted to ask some questions, here i go then, what was the big reason people wanted to do smoking, drinking or doing drugs back then , that was because it relieved some sort of mental health issue like stress or anxiety, or was it because it was lack of medicines at the time for issues like these? Maybe it was a way to socialize because everyone did so? Now I never did any sort of these things and will never have, and like you said it was cheap compared to todays standards, but i wanted to do an insider to your days and get some knowledge, thanks in any regards, have great day!
Democrat and republican still existed back then. The blueprints for modern society were already in place. All you needed was time to predictably see where we are today
A lot of the party people are dead -- I know a lot of the really fun people I grew up with ended up in a puddle of their own puke, whether they meant to do fentanyl or not, they did. The gen under me are all a bit autsy, and the social ones seem a bit snappy and cynical -- traits like that. I'm not really sure they'd go out and play even if technology was... 90's, 00's level.
The Club scene aided their own demise by focusing on exclusive sections and overpriced bottle service. Every “club” is now just an expensive bar. Why are their tables on a “dance floor” to hold drinks?
Of all the shit that died when the 2008 GFC killed the Indie Sleaze / Vulgar Wave era, why bottle service had to be the thing to survive is maddening. It’s always been THE WORST.
I used to go to clubs/illegal raves a lot back in the 90's and early 00's. Had social media been a thing back then the whole rave scene would likely have not happened. Everyone would have been too self conscious about ending up as a viral meme to be seen dancing badly under the influence.
You have probably never been to shambala, those people dont have a care in the world for what others think of them, if they get meme’d they are happy about it
This is a big factor. No one can be themselves anymore without some idiot having to film literally everything instead of being in the moment themselves. They just film instead of participating. I hate these people because they ruin it for everyone else who don't want a fun night out to be on the internet for everyone to see forever.
15 years ago, people would laugh at you if you dated someone you met online. It showed people you lack the ability to attract someone in person aka you have no game/rizz. Crazy how new generations see it as a normal thing.
As a gen-z, what you are saying is true and we think the same way but we don't have much of a choice. Nobody likes dating apps, but its either the most or second most common may of meeting partners in many countries now.
As a 32-year-old I still think that you're lame as hell if you got a boyfriend or a girlfriend from an online dating site. It's just not going to change for me. I know it changed for a lot of my generation, but I still think that's lame as hell
@@NeighborhoodWatchMannabsolute same. It’s just such a strange anti-social way of human interaction. You went out of your way to download this app geared towards to seggs in order to get the seggs. You didn’t let it flow naturally, you went and SPECIFICALLY seeked it. People need to put down their pride and go outside and approach people, both men and women. Go to the grocery store, join clubs, join workout classes and try to talk to someone you find cute. Don’t stare at them, talk to them (this goes double for you women). I’ve found that many people aren’t really “anxious” like they’d like to believe, because cool friendly people don’t really care if you’re anxious if they like you they like you, but people actually have too much pride and are too high headed to risk any amount of potential rejection. It’d break the false image they have of themselves being this high king/queen. We need to bring back people being normal and stop copying the arrogant “nonchalant” celebrities they see on their screens.
Not just the young people - I’m 38 and have been feeling like this my entire youth, and I still feel this way. I work a full time job and am a parent and there is no way to make new friends or find friends because there is no where to do it or find people willing to put in the time to keep up a said friendship. It sucks.
Honestly guys as someone who has overcome loneliness, my best advice is to find a music community. There is a community of 250 psytrance people in my city on a Whatsapp and everyone is supporting, encouraging and meeting with one another regularly. No drama, just lots of love and support. Try and find your local psytrance event because it's common for people to go by themselves and meet people easily. No phones, no judgement, just kind people enjoying themselves and others company!
Gen X here. if you think the 2010s were a party, the 1990 were a billion times better, At least in europe where we partied our ass off throughout the nineties.
i lived through the saturday night fever generation we would have sex in the parking lot in the friends custom van outside the club....then go back in and meet more girls.............a few yrs later AIDS showed up
@@jr5993 yeah i party a lot myself but pay 80 (in your country's currency) to be in the club is lowkey crazy. Not recognizing the imminent isolation of capitalism in an increasingly fascist reality is innocence.
😅 true hehe. sucks for people who don't enjoy the calm life style. I'm not a fan of clubbing and loud music or with loud people, it's not my energy, but I'm against people not doing what they think will make them truly happy. though I believe the ones who are in the middle of doing these things are narcisists because everyone has a phone ready to record themselves and post to get likes and followers in return, nothing of just enjoying the moment, they always want something in return.
on the lack of 3rd places: i live in a mid-sized city in the midwest. i’m under 21 still and am not in college. when i hang out with friends (who i met in high school) all we do is drive around, maybe get food, maybe go to the store sometimes. there are literally no other places to hangout when you’re not 21 and not going to school and it isnt even a small town. especially at evening/ night when all the coffee places close. nowhere to go, nothing to do that encourages social interaction. i want to move so bad but cost of living is so high, thanks for the video!
my friends.. surprised i had any at one point. Used to have tail gate parties at the movies every summer.... inviting tons of people. And people would show up early to just play softball or 4 square before the movie started.
I'm a Millennial and grew up in the party era. I'd say it's pretty much over. The hang overs are too extreme and they don't get any better the older you get. It's unsustainable and I think Gen Z notices it.
That's not the main reason. I am a millennial as well and I know what happened. People went to clubs to socialize and to get together. But since women can get free attention from the internet, it's over. Women simply don't have to move in order to get attention and boyfriends. While a critical mass of men understood that they are only wasting their time and money in these clubs. Since the majority of them is not even getting a chance with women, anymore. That's the real reason why clubs are dead.
@@nocturnaljoe9543 Millennial here. Maybe I went to the wrong clubs, but socializing for me was difficult with the loud music playing in the background. I still miss clubbing. Unfortunately, I dont miss hangover.
@@nocturnaljoe9543you are just not a lover of dance music my friend (or didnt have a good party experience yet), clubbing is much more than a quick meat market to me. 33, living in berlin
Our economy is in a recession. I don't care what the experts say. I know we're in a recession because most of my friend group has fallen apart. It's too expensive to go out and the added stress has lead to infidelity and cheating. These are not a sign of a thriving economy, we're in hard times. None of these things were happening 5 years ago. Our economy was booming 5 years ago. When recessions hit, you quickly find out who the good and bad people are. People change rather quickly when the money stop flowing.
Yeah. It's made pursuing hobbies expensive too, which is part of the reason why most people these days don't have any. I believe it's also because social media has turned people into a bunch of boring worker drones with no stand out qualities to their personalities whatsoever.
I honestly believe that the main factor that is contributing to social isolation nowadays is the rise of the cost of living and inflation. Back last year when I was finishing off my final year of University I would go to clubs or bars at least once or twice a month, but the price of going would typically set me back sometimes up to £100 depending on the cirumstances. You gotta think about entry prices, drinks, even pre-drinks, post-clubbing food and taxis home, and sometimes... costumes. We're noticing the consequences of going out too much more i.e hangovers, expenses, health effects and realising it is not worth it. I developed really bad mental health issues from consistent partying and drinking (yes even during lockdown) and have become fully aware of the negative effects of living that lifestyle.
In America the cost of living has gone up, college loans, credit card bills, housing, health insurance different then every country, everything has gone up so you have to have multiple jobs and side hustles. So finding someone is on the back burner.
You’re totally right that the cost of living is insane rn, but that was also true during the Great Recession! The jokes about millennials clubbing in business casual are because, for a lot of us, our work clothes were all we had. So I have a hard time believing that the COL is truly a big factor. I personally remember being dead broke and sneaking into bars, smuggling flasks in with us, partying in random garages, parking lots, etc. (not promoting any of these things, just saying we were wild before everything was being caught on camera). I think if the motivation is there, young people will always find a way. It seems to be the motivation that’s lacking, for better or for worse
Agree with this, it's more a money thing than anything else, everything is more expensive but wages have hardly went up at all, of course everyone isn't going out and having fun, how would they?
@@lowercasesncapitals795 Don't be sad, not all hope is lost. Well, maybe it is, but only in the USA. I go to a lot of concerts seeing young folks there. But the thing is that these are not mainstream productions. If young people decide to go out, it's mostly not for the dum dum radio noises but for something real. I was at a festival a month ago and some fresh out of school guys had their tents close to me so naturally we got into a neighborly talk, comparing bands we wanna see and stuff. I go there almost regularly for the last 10 years so I see all prices rising and remembering my first time as a fresh out of school guy I asked them how they manage. Because it was tough on money for me back then when it was way cheaper. They said that they brought as much of canned food and beer as they could so they can spend more money on records and band merch.
Depends on what kind of party ur talking about. Partying has brought people together since the beginning of humanity. Tribes would celebrate around a fire after a long day of hunting for food all day long
Im Dutch and party culture was the best thing in my life tbh. from 2003 tot 2010 i partied in Amsterdam, NYC, LA, Tokyo. But i guess endless scrolling on social media is ofc the new cool thing! How deeply sad a gen can become.....
Im Gen Z, I was born in 98. I resonate deeply with all the things you have laid out in this video and im sure its what a lot of people in our age bracket thinking about every night. The dissolution of community. The hyper individualism. I'm not religious and I wasn't raised that way, but the church is making a comeback these days. I've thought about attending myself at this point. To meet others who are ready to step out of this digital coma we are all in. I just want to find people who are severing something outside themselves. You won't find growth at a bar or club and imo you most certainly will not find love. I think it's time for Gen z to step up and start rebuilding our social ties. We are more than just Co-workers and Aquentencies. We are neighbors, we are brothers and sisters, we are mothers and fathers, we are teachers, we are philosophers, artists. It's time to slow down and celebrate the humanity that exists in us all, To get back to what is important. Building a LIFE that is worth LIVING everyday.
This. It used to be rare to end up on the internet. But nowadays anytime you're in public you are literally a click away from being shared to the internet (Or livestreamed) Its creepy.
The only reason why clubs existed was to pick up 304s. Nowadays men who are attractive just use dating apps and the unattractive ones have completely given up
I think this is correct. Dating apps make dating super time efficient for the best looking men, which in turn allows them to monopolize a bigger share of the women.
Yeah, exactly. Growing up with social media and internet dating has made modern women incredibly picky, because if a woman wants to get laid, why sleep with a 7 / 10 man when she can sleep with an 8.5 / 10 man via Tinder? This means, as you say, that for top-tier men it's more convenient to get laid via Tinder, while average men don't even try anymore because there's no point. 60% of young men are single.
I think it’s deeper than that. Modern women more than ever before get off on rejecting dudes, especially in person at the clubs & bars. It’s an ego boost. So no wonder men would rather sit home and swipe instead of going out and spending money just to get turned down.
@@APsGTGif she said yes while not interested and had the guy buying her dinners and roses there would be an issue with that as well. She can say no if she’s not interested
Covid really fucked up gen Z's formative socialization, and it's a shame. Another thing I noticed: we spent all our money on going out, drinking, eating out, going to shows, etc. We weren't spending money on 25 streaming services, garbage from temu, and a new shein aesthetic every 3 weeks. Now almost all people are, but we had a chance to be young first and gen z does not. Capitalism really has us in its grip. Social norms have completely changed just within the last 10 years alone, it's really quite shocking.
Going out is expensive, I would rather nickel and dime myself. At least then I get to build stuff for myself. And at least pretend I can own a little farm one day.
Nothing is going to change unless people do something about it and that starts with improving your own life. I am personally working on my own social skills as well.
I feel like having a social life in general is dead. I remember in the 2000’s and into the 2010’s just being able to hang out with a lot of different people and just sit around laughing and talking for hours whenever. Im not a weirdo or something, but the possibility of doing that now seem very low.
Same. I remember meeting up with friends from college in the early 2010's. We used to go to the cinema, then go bowling at the alley in the same complex. There was also a little arcade in there, so we played some games afterwards too. Sometimes we just hung out in our local city without a set plan. I feel like stuff like that doesn't happen too often anymore. People come up with any excuse to not hang out now. Even when you do manage to get a friend to meet up with you these days, they just seem super depressed and distant and it makes it awkward. It's not their fault though. The world is fcked. It was easier to form healthy social relationships back in the 2000's-early 2010's because there wasn't the sheer amount of negative sh!t going on in the world back then that there is today. It's hard to have a positive conversation when the president of Russia is threatening to nuke your country.
I have noticed this with smaller children as well, in my neighbourhood they don’t go outside as much to play football or draw things in the pavement with chalk anymore. When I was 10 you could walk to the next street and you would find all the other kids around your age outside in friend groups. So if you wanted and you were bored you could go outside and meet another kid in the next street to play with pretty much everyday, now streets are empty and kids only seem to go outside to catch the school bus.
@@DeezN1892 yes and I think another difference between now and then is I don’t want drama or conflict with people. I remember having friends but also being pissed off with one or a few of them for periods and then becoming friends again. Also, it doesn’t seem worth it to just BS with people who don’t have the same goals as you. Like it’s a waste of time if they are just going to sit around and drink or something. I still do miss coming in a room of random people and telling some jokes or stories and constantly meeting new people all the time on the basis of just enjoying each other’s company, but there aren’t many opportunities for that. And then when you go to bar or something every is either super competitive or they have a goal or motive for interacting with you and they can’t just chill so it just makes it seem not worth it.
Partying might be dull in the USA, but abroad it's thriving more than it ever has before. Also, Americans aren't into electronic, house, and techno like foreigners are. Which is a shame, as deejays in Detroit and Chicago were some of the early pioneers of these genres
Yup, clubs in the US have been hip hop centric for decades now... and current hip hop/trap music just isn't danceable anymore. I'm near the border so I like going to Mexico for night life because there people still dance with each other.
I'm a millennial. And, though i hate to sound old, I'm finally getting old! I graduated in 2009. Yes, my "boomer" dad wanted me to go to college. I don't blame him. We're a working class family and I think he hoped uni would prevent me having to scrape by like he did. Also back then, college was just the next step. Few people questioned it. That being said, I can remember coming home to see unemployment lines on the news. Despite that, people still had fun. I can remember going to a Sleighbells concert and it was like a giant party. I left the US in 2010 and taught overseas until fall of 2019. During that time away, I'd really gotten used to meeting friends and going on adventures. When I came back home though, it was like a completely different country. Things feel more dangerous. People seem more violent while also being more cold to one another in general.
I'm glad that there are people calling out this cultural shift because as a somewhat social guy, it absolutely blows. I grew up during that era of clubbing/partying, too young to do it myself at the time but I still felt the culture's impact in my daily life. And while I know it was imperfect, I just miss having people hanging out and having fun regularly. Now, although it still happens occasionally, I can still tell it's not on the same scale, and I can tell you that people seem a lot more reluctant just to hang out and have fun together nowadays. I personally blame this shift in weakened economy, social media, loss of 3rd places, and the general fostering of anti-social practices in modern society (I'm looking at you, food service industry).
Dude I'm 54 and just spent 6 days in local jail..it was amazing...why? The closest thing to a rave I've had to 20 years. A pity there were not many women..just the guards..but without phones/internet/food (not much at least) we just talked for 100 hours in a row..like the end of a rave. It was awesom. I feel SO relaxed after that no wonder we loved raving..it chilled us out for a week.
I feel like it's easier to be a children's enterianter nowadays and even socialise with kids because all the teen and adult socialising like clubbing is gone now...
@@gamermapper No it isn't. I went out this weekend both nights and the city was jam packed, the clubs booming. Don't listen to youtubers they are mostly depressed and isolationists by nature.
I have noticed their disjointed inflections in their tone as well. It makes it tricky to decipher what they're saying or what they're trying to convey. Times change I guess. My parents had the same issues with me
internet has made people more self aware at how lame listening to drake and drinking is compared to all the other interesting ways a human can spend time
@@sovereignindividual2625Drake is a little bitch who comes from wealth but acts like He started from the "bottom" Guy acts tough but couldn't fight Bis way out of a paper bag
i remember teens used to have more unity and general respect for each other. more down to earth. girls used to hang out with guys. now everything is segregated and sterile. when my brother was a teen he was walking around at night with friends drinking, climbing on buildings, setting off crap, racing his car around, etc.
When I came to this video, I didn't expect it to be about clubbing. I've never even been to a club. I've been to lots of nightclubs to see bands. I played at lots of nightclubs in bands. I lived in a fraternity house that was basically a nightclub speakeasy. We had the same bands as the nightclubs and charged admission and sold beer. Two for a dollar! Then of course we had lots of raging House parties. What the hell happened to you poor bastards? I know money is tight but you could definitely afford to put in for a keg or two. It's a rhetorical question. I know exactly what happened. The same reason no one plays music as much is the same reason y'all were driven into anti-sociality: the mind control device in your pocket. It's a damn shame.
It wasn’t overrated 10/20 years ago. All the older people tell me it was literally the time of their lives. Imagine this: EVERYONE is dancing (man woman it doesn’t matter), no phones, entry fees are free before 12am, drinks are cheap, people used to actually dress up (not just wear the default gen z jeans and sneakers), the pop and hip hop music was made for the club/dancing. I’m so jealous lol
I just want to go dancing!!! Like dance in a crowd of people without worrying about someone trying to grope me every 10 seconds and paying 10000 bucks for cheap drinks or having to get groped by a promoter for some shots.
the adults who were supposed to preserve our country's prosperity for their children to inheret squandered it on their own hedonism. where they got to party, go to school, start careers at our age, our young adulthood is now going to be spent grappling with the reprecussions of their short sighted decision making. are we still "thinking of the children"?
It’s really not the generation above as such that is the issue. They never had the power to pull the levers that control the economy and standard of living. They’re as much a pawn to the world as we all are, a generation below. The true cohort that’s responsible for this are the oligarchs; the 0.001%ers that own 80% of the stock market along with the global financial, military and media system. They live in the shadows, masked by complex company structures and high-end legal wizardry, hence why they’re so elusive and hard to pinpoint the exact individuals. They’re the only people who’ve had the power to change things, hence why the rich are getting richer and poor are getting poorer; it benefits them and adds to their power and control.
As a millennial I don't feel too different. Graduating during the financial crisis was a nightmare. I'm 38 now and didn't get a proper career until my 30s. Finally in a place where I can maybe buy a modest house.
Ah the club scene I remember that, Dark, Music (Bad Music) so loud you cant talk without yelling in someone's ear, Fights and getting so drunk you can barely function.I Don't miss it.
It’s not worth it. I’ve gone to the bars a few times to play pool and a time or two for karaoke with my friends in the Navy years ago but that’s as crazy as I got. I don’t drink so my soda drinks were always free.
I grew up in the era when clubbing was still very popular and I'm not gonna lie, it was complete shit. It was all about binge drinking and killing your brain cells. That was your only option if you actually wanted "friends". And those friends were people you could never talk about any serious things with because, well, you were always drunk when you were together. Not worth it at all, this is without even getting into the drug use. The moment I decided to quit this lifestyle I suddenly lost contact with all those people overnight. And let's also not get into how common sexual harassment was (probably still is) in clubs. As a guy, I got groped and kissed without my consent on 3 different occasions. I can't imagine how many other women and men experienced even worse things. Clubs were really just places where it was normalized to act completely unhinged, both in a self-destructive way and in a way that's destructive towards others.
It was fun 5% of the time, the rest was trying to make small talk with loud music, knowing that a lot of those people weren't there for you but just to have someone to go somewhere with and feeling like you were missing out, even when you were right there
Depends where you grew up. I grew up in Sydney born in 1975, and was lucky to be surrounded by live music in the 1980s-90s then EDM in the 90s on. I can tell you it was amazing. The best live music scene in the world. Now it is a ghost town filled with those that can afford to live here (rich foreigners and retirees) Young people are moving out in droves.
Party culture has simply evolved into gym culture. All the classic gen Z and millennial clubbing songs have also been remixed into a genre called "hardstyle".
That's hilarious! Back in 2010 to 2014 I used to party hard! I also used to sell drugs. But now I'm in stupid shape, and I have six pack abs. I guess I'm following the trend LOL
Fair point, i think more young people care more about being fit and healthy than we did back in my day (80's and 90's). Plus cant afford to blow so much cash and alcohol and drugs like we could/did. But then again, there's the counter "body positivity" thing and people spend money on things like tattoos more than ever ^^;
Xennial here. I moved to London when I was 19 from a small town. Yes, I did go clubbing a lot, but it was more for the music, not necessarily interaction, although there was a shared sense of camaraderie in our love for the music. Our 'third spaces' were our homes. Almost everyone my age lived in a house-share. We would hang out, laugh, get high, have deep conversations and host get-togethers and parties. The properties were a bit seedy, but we made them our own. My deepest friendships that still persist to this day were all people I lived with, or met through them. I can't speak for all of Gen-Z, but I think there are less people now living in those kinds of environments, certainly in London anyway. Rent back then was affordable, and there were loads of big old houses on the rental market with 5 or more bedrooms that made the perfect environment for people to live together and get to know one another. Now they've all been redeveloped and sold as studio flats or knocked down altogether. Rent now is prohibitively expensive for young people, so many live with parents, where homes just can't be third spaces anymore.
I live in a shitty, legally dubious warehouse room in Tottenham. Its freezing cold in winter, boiling in summer and leaks when it rains. However, moving here has been one of the best decisions of my life. We are always having parties. In summer, there are always people sat outside having a drink and a chat. Everyone knows each other; when I invite outside friends around, they are shocked at how many people I wave at or say hi to as we go down the street. If a neighbour is having a party, its totally ok to turn up uninvited. Noone is forsaking alcohol and narcotics for wellness/productivity, noone is spending their whole time at the parties taking selfies. I live above an illegal club and sometimes it keeps me awake at night, but other times I am down there.
@@AlG214 Yes! This is exactly what I'm talking about. I'm glad you've managed to find a community like this. These experiences will last you your whole life
really ? all my friends in London live in shared houses (but they do have good salaries as consultants/financiers). However, roomates are no longer really close to each other if they ever were.
It's an introverts world, and as someone who's never gotten along well with other people in our generation, I have zero problem not interacting with the rest of you.
How did you extroverts let this happen!? You’re supposed to be 80% of the population! We just wanted some piece and quiet away from all of you and you followed suit 😂
Good to see fellow Introverts who are speaking up about a Culture that's set up for Extroverts. 40 Year's Old and wish I had this information on Introverts when I was in Middle/High School
Geriatric millenial here. Every day I wake up and thank god that the internet was not really a thing yet during my formative years. I cannot imagine the dysfunctional mess of a person I'd be if my brain were being boiled by tablets and content algorithms straight out of the womb. It makes me legitimately fearful for the fate of future generations.
Same. People talk down on clubbing but it was so much fun! Just dancing for hours with your friends. I always had a great time. It's sad to know Gen Z won't get the same experience. Clubbing was cheap when I was in college.
Future generations are going to be born into augmented reality technology with generative AI to generate fantasy worlds right in their rooms - they'll have AI robot companions like in Star Wars etc. Brain implanted microchips that can probably link to their eye vision with generative AI - I mean who needs the Apple Vision goggles just hook it up to your neural network.
Millennial here and I wouldn't take it back for anything. ❤ Everyone dancing and just having fun. Making friends, even for a short period of time to go on random adventures was amazing. Some people fell on tough roads but I stayed clear of the party hard weirdos and went home when I should have lol. Now my living room is a club and I dance by myself everyday lol. I think too many predators entered the arena and drinks got too expensive. Then the festivals became big and honestly, it was the social media obsession with festival piks that killed clubbing. Imo. People became obsessed with things other than having fun in their own town. At least in Florida that's what I saw. Then people got more awkward and judgemental. Now guys are scared to approach women in public places lol The world has gotten pretty dark. ❤😂
Me too, turned 21 in 2012. We had the edm boom too that got everyone talking to Molly. Ppl I knew that weren't into partying were all of a sudden taking candy at shows. What a time.
That whole culture was stinking, rotten garbage. The club and party scene, all about hookup culture and getting loaded on booze and nasty drugs. Completely shallow and empty, glamorizing self-destructive behavior. We need better than that.
What also really made me hesitant to club is how unsafe it has gotten. When I first went to uni, everyone was quite chill, obviously there'd be a fight every now and then but it didn't go much further than a bloody nose or a black eye. Nowadays the same area turned into absolute nightmare, police carrying open weapons on horses, it's packed, everyone is on edge, every night you can hear people getting carried away by ambulance, a bunch of stabbings here, brass knuckles there, I've had friends being kidnapped, it has become incredibly unsafe. This way it's not fun anymore and people start to associate clubbing more with a liability rather than something fun. I understand why it has gotten quite unsafe, but there's nothing really we can do about it anymore for now. People more often now just meet at eachothers place, it's still fun but not as social anymore since you barely get in touch with people from outside your circle now. You're less exposed to others so you become more lonely. It sucks, it really does, I really miss my first years of uni, I never expected the situation could flip in as little as a decade. I had to do a couple extra first year major courses to get my master's. Empty lecture rooms, everyone with laptops out, scrolling through social media rather than taking notes. Poor communication in group work, a lot of slacking and a "high" workload despite courses keep scrapping material to keep grades at a reasonable level. I'm glad I'm almost done, and I'm lucky working part-time with almost exclusively gen x-ers and a couple babyboomers. I'm really going to miss them when they retire, most of my social contact is with them and it keeps me going. Without them idk how my mental shape would've been.
This is one of the best descriptions I’ve ever heard. I had the same experience at uni. I went to the big frat Christmas party, but it was just off. Like, everyone was in a corner with their friend group. Life is just so weird now.
You're describing the very worst clubs. Violent places catering to a rachet crowd. Most I went to back in then 80s and 90s were nothing like that. I'm gen-X and cherish my club and bar hopping memories. Really sucks I can't do that stuff anymore.
I went to a party ran by bloods up in Syracuse and my buddy accidently turned the light off by bumping into it. One of the gang members throwing the party got mad and asked my buddy and I to get him a beer, hinting at the idea we owed them and that we better get the beer to not cause any trouble. We weren't scared of them as our group had more guys and a few stray cats of our own that can handle a scuffle. Later on in the night I was alone inside as my friend's waited for me outside the party. The two thugs that asked me for the beer asked me what happened and got in my face about it. This guy had about four inches and eighty pounds on me but so does my older brother. He said "Come on, im gonna rough u up outside". I simply stared into his eyes with this sadistic grin because I had ten of my boys right outside the door. He responded "I'm just joking" and left me alone. I could of gotten stabbed or something that night looking back...
Diversity is our strength... you know. I had the same experience. It was super safe here once. A bloody nose was almost the only thing you had to worry about. But since it got much more colorful people got robbed, stabbed and graped regularly. Me getting too old for clubbing and the new arrivers enriching the nightlife happened at the same time. I can only imagine how it is today. During my last days you always had to look out for your stuff and who is possibly waiting for you when you're drunk on your way home. Police was patrolling nightlife areas. That was never necessary before.
My sister has two gen z living at home and they literally do nothing. No jobs, no school, not in training of any sort , dont drive( don’t even want to drive ) , don’t party..they sit and doom scroll all day . They have done nothing …at all .
Did she raise and guide them through high school about their futures not to mention teach them from an early age about contributing to household chores and things like that
Partying is not a big deal, besides partying is not as common as it used to be look at American teens and young adults they don’t do that anymore but at least have a car drive go to school get a job and do something
It died at astroworld 2021. The iconic footage of gen z fleeing from themselves marked the end of an era, when they realized they didnt know how to mosh in a non-lethal way, and didnt want to perish to the sound of some arrogant jerks shouting about how great they are 💀
The crowds that these artists attract have basically zero comradery & fellowship for one another, and it took a body count for these kids to understand why that might be problematic. Who wants to go clubbing to music that reminds them of this? Wu Tang rolling in their grave 💀
I'm a 45-year-old Japanese. In the 90s and 00s, I used to frequent go to clubs in Tokyo. I loved techno and house parties. But now it's 2024. I don't go to clubs or raves anymore. Because of the birth of SNS. Nowadays I listen to DJ mixes on TH-cam or Sound Cloud.
Millennial here. Born in 88. I also fault (or credit, actually) wellness culture. My friends and I don’t drink (or have a glass of red wine rarely), wake up early, exercise, prefer being outdoors during the day than up all night. Was never into clubbing…can’t party all night if you wake up at 5am for a run
Born in 93 and you guys are pusssiesssss let’s live life and dance and make connections!! Im so grateful that I spent many weekends of no/little sleep and lots of work. Im ALIVE.
Born in 83 and spent my twenties raving and DJing at illegal raves. Your life sounds incredibly depressing to me. I’m chilled out now but I enjoy a drink and still smoke and live on a boat off grid. You should let loose a bit, in todays world why would you even want to live a long healthy life? I don’t want to live til extremely old age, they’ve put my retirement up age up to 71 (wtf). Is that what I’m supposed to stay healthy for?
Nightclub by my house is $12 entry (free before 11pm) Drinks cost $7-15 Friends can carpool or split uber. RESTAURANTS are the expensive spots lmao we accidentally spent like 250 dollars at this Mexican restaurant just ordering tacos and margaritas lmfao it was a total ripoff and the service was horrible and they wanted a $60 tip
@@Jaymo00you guys have it hard 😭 why everything is so insanely expensive in the us, where I live 100$ can feed me and 3 of my friends and we would have more left for dessert or go to the cinema afterwards.
Really? God that sounds awful. You are not believe the outrageous parties we had in the '80s and 90s. What you see in the movies is often exaggerated... but not always. Life was a lot better back then, and it's not because of money. Gen z has enough to party at home. Gen z could have their friends play in a band at a party. I just don't think there are very many bands. Smartphones are poison. I really feel bad for you all.
@@theminister1154 dude, i'm the only one in my friend group that doesn't carry a phone when hanging out. You don't know how frustrating is to hang out with friends, talk to them and they make no eye contact with you, they are using their phones while "talking" to you. It's annoying, that's why i'm not as enthusiastic about hanging out with my friends as i used to.
This is incredibly well thought out. You hit the nail on the head when you mention “a loss of a third space” as so many people use technology as a third space. One guy in my neighborhood is great and has a campfire in his backyard every Thursday and tells the neighborhood all are welcome to hang out and BYOB. We need more community-based thinking like that! Pubs were originally the “publick house” for all things including political discussion.
People need to support third spaces. With that, they need to learn street smarts and common sense (can be learned on youtube), don't go to dangerous areas, don't talk to strangers, listen to your gut. A person should learn how to defend themselves (martial arts). Even martial arts and other sports classes would be beneficial for y'all! Church is cool, too. I attend all kinds of small events.
This is really insightful, I work in the events industry (for a nightclub in Bristol, UK specifically) and I’ve personally been here for 5 years. The pandemic was truly the nail in the coffin as you stated. This conversation/information needs to be spread!
Yeah, that's what I was thinking. If you're sleeping with three other people, you don't really care about any of the three - that's not how bonding works. Thus the loneliness.
I know polyamorous people and I can tell that they're actually content with it. And this is, because they live in an environment where this is accepted, so that they do not have to fear the loss of social attachment. As someone, who has never been in a relationship, I realize that confidence in one's own sexuality relies just as much on the valuation by your community through share of experiences than on the experience itself (or the lack thereof). Sexuality is often used as one of the core instruments for integration and social recognition. This is also why shaming sexually deviant people (polyamorous, bisexuals, incels etc.) can be so disastrous for their mental health. It enfosters the idea of getting expelled from the "tribe".
Im a zellineial, i haven't had six close friends since 2006, lol. Unless you count the people I used to get high with. As an introvert, doing drugs was a hobby that people connected over. I assume casual sex is the same way, i wouldnt know. Life is better without those things, though. Low quality people can easily find company. I never did the club thing or drank much. A lot of people still go out for drinks still, but that seems like huge waste of money. It's dangerous too, to go for casual drinks people usually want to drive home. My gen z friend says club culture is dead because nobody wants to be caught on video looking stupid. People still go, but they pay for the booth and just try to look cool and rich instead of getting wild. I never saw the appeal in the 2000s-2010s party culture. Getting drunk and hooking up shouldn't be glamourized. I didnt go to college so also didnt experience that. People are lonely because of hook up culture and dating aps for sure. Ive been with my husband for half my life. Even when i had no friends i was never lonely. The guy in the video said he has three partners and wonders why hes still lonely. Its because you cant have a real relationship with multiple people. With p0rn cululture and Ig and OF nobody has a real relationship because they are either cheating, nor committed, or they know they dont have to cinnect because they have a thousand options. People think hooking up will connect them but it makes them lonely because they give their bodies to someone who doesn't care about them. I see the appeal in third places, but as an introvert i cant enjoy them. Id rather take my food or coffee to go, it just feels silly to spend time somewhere for no reason. Shows like cheers or friends had the bar of coffee shop as the pinnacle of socialization. Social media definitely made that unnecessary. We still have have those places available though. Its definitely not a place to foster mew relationships though (would be weird to try and connect with a stranger). I dont have an answer for lonely people or for society. I have heard potter's guilds, sports clubs, etc. are cool places. Work is the easiest place to connect with people, but be warned, coworkers are not real friends. 99% of the time they will betray you or forget about you.
A lot of interesting points! I will have to say as an introvert myself, I used to not understand third places either. But I think the magic is in continually showing up to these places to establish connection (easy to say, hard to do) That's why places like clubs (hobby clubs)* work so well. But most people want to conserve energy, so staying home is definitely easier and more comfortable.
@@emswildworld I have a couple of interests/hobbies like Chess, Kayaking, now Sailing and I kinda gave up at socializing at hobby clubs, because there are only Gen Xers or Boomers there. It's so frustrating.
I did the going out drinking every week thing back in 2016 out of peer pressure from a housemate and it wasn't good. I might as well have been flushing my money down the toilet and I ended up with the early stages of drinker's nose because of it, which are still visible to this day. In short, you weren't missing anything.
Elder millennial, attended college during that peak time and worked clubs as security: There's...a lot to unpack here, but I'll try to keep it concise... 1) Millennials were also 'sold' on partying being the thing you did to meet people (I point to late 90's and early 00's MTV reality TV and the aggrandizing of Spring Break). Have fun, let loose, etc. As we all know, this was problematic - R* culture, violence in clubs, and the rise of accountability by way of phones/photos/videos was a recipe for disaster. I think MeToo did a lot of damage (rightly so) to the party culture. 2) Those who didn't go to clubs spent their time in school, at work, church, volunteering, all with arguably better chance to meet someone. Third places have been eroding for decades: Skating banned, teens and 20-somethings getting kicked out of public or nigh-public places for 'loitering'. All these spaces have been further privatized and commodified. 3) Many of the financial/economic reasons I see cited in the comments...I tend to point toward "hustle culture." This is the rise of gig work, Room and property rentals, and decades of de-regulation coupled with governments with no idea what the problem is, let alone how to fix it, let alone with the will to actually fix it. So many services that had at one time been viewed as more of a public good are run by venture capitalists and the like - pump and dump schemes and ponzy schemes galore, and where those aren't present, massive algorithms will optimize pricing down to the penny for everything. Is there even such a thing as "disposable income" anymore?
It's because "polyamorous" relationships are just people not genuinely connecting with each other and instead just using each other for whatever their best use is and collecting people like they're funko pops. You're with A because the sex is great and you're with B because they're really thoughtful and you're with C because they're the most fun to go on dates with and now you have 3 empty transactional relationships when you could've had one true relationship with any of those people.
I’m 38 and when I was in my early twenties I loved the club. It was so carefree and fun and ppl talked to each other and it was such a vibe. It was cheap too lol. It’s really sad to see that the young folks today don’t get to experience it the way we did.
Clubs are more dangerous now, expensive and people are just more violent as well. Where im from, theres always a stabbing, someone going to the hospital, or getting jumped. This just wasnt that common back then. Bars however are still great, tho depends on the location, more isolated places means the bar is great, in my opinion.
If dating apps had existed back in the dark ages when I was a young adult, the man who was the love of my life for over 40 years, my late husband, would never have gotten my attention. I liked a totally different type. But meeting him in person was a whole different ballgame-his charisma was overwhelming. He was a grown man, not a long-haired rocker guy-my “type”. His utter self-confidence and belief in himself, who he was and what he believed in was an unexpected attraction. I don’t think these qualities could have come across on an app, especially with me thinking I preferred the long haired rocker guys.
I think most women know this and feel this way, but their egos are just so huge they refuse to accept any man who doesn’t fit their exact perfect ideal archetype
@@APsGTG The big ego is also a symptom of the dating app. You get a ridiculously inflated sense of self worth when you have 5000+++ guys messaging you looking for your attention/expressing interest.
@@282XVL it’s crazy though because these guys just want them for 🛏️ time, nothing more. It’s like a dude having a big ego because he has a bunch of girls who want him to send them $50 each 😂🤦♂️
I used phone dating in the 80s and 90s..it was great..you knew you got along from talking for hours..then it was all a matter of were they cute enough..and we had NO idea..no computers...no digital cameras..no email..nothing. It was blind date after blind date....but all you liked as people beforehand. I took the women to raves!! Many got scared and bailed but a few turned into long term.
Younger generations are missing out on parties because you have to be off your phone long enough to have real world friends before you can all have a party.
@@donovannewman8462sounds like you’re encouraging isolation 🤨 it’s not about being needy. Humans are social creatures and we feel/do better when we’re able to connect. Younger generations don’t know how to connect to people in the real world
@gitchygitchyyaya Well actually I'm not encouraging isolation. You all are here complaining that people are not engaging with you or giving their attention like you have some inalienable right to it.a right to it. If someone talks to you then fine, if they don't that is fine as well. And humans are not social creatures we don't need it. Some of you are just scared of keeping your own company and are too much of social butterflies. If you as a grown adult is going to have a mental breakdown because of it then you all need to check yourselves. What the younger generation does or doesn't do is of no concern to older generations and vice versa. Stop being entitled and needy!
To some degree i disagree with technology for being the reason for loneliness. For me personally the reason i think loneliness is quite common is due to the sort of societal culture that we have developed. Nowadays its far too common that you arrange something with friends or you seek some help with something from friends and they just cancel on you in the very last minute, or dont even bother to say anything until 2 day after your arrangements. Dont get me wrong i understand if there is a dire emergency and someone cant make it but most of the time its not an emergency and just some half assed excuse. Sadly this is something i have experienced far too many times with bunch of different people and Its just discouraged me from wanting to meet new people, waste my time, energy and money trying to develop a friendship/relationship only to be repeatedly disappointed by them
I'm a 32 year old millennial and i've always hated the clurb. Too loud, can't hear what anyone is saying so conversation is all small talk, people being drunk and stupid, everything is expensive etc. If i'm going to hang out with friends i'd rather get dinner, play some board games or video games and chill, or make some music. Very glad I got to skip the dating app world, it sounds so toxic. Met my wife at my first job when I was 18 and a senior in high school. Back then online dating wasn't as popular, and even kind of taboo, and I don't think any of the dating apps were around then.
"i have 3 romantic partners" yeah that's why youre alone. No commitment = commodification of relationships. Thats not how humans are meant to function.
I grew up going to parties and bar hopping. You’re not missing out on much. You don’t need to supplement isolation with living a drunken lifestyle. I hope the younger generations start meeting up again but in more sober and meaningful concepts. Adding alcohol and drugs to the mix equals nothing but acting like a fool and making bad decisions.
Eliminating inhibitions actually works though Now single women are just begging to be a part of a rich guys harem Drinking drunk party's were a lot better than what we have now
Bad decisions or frozen unable to make any decisions, I have a 🍆 and so I didn't have a choice. Might still not have a choice, hard to face endless rejection with smex sprinkled in between and so alcohol makes your brain stupid and uninhibited so you can make the dumb choice to chase women. I never found my wife im single,and so sober didn't make a difference! Sobriety doesn't solve anything it just made life boring. Now if you'll excuse me I'm gonna go smoke a joint and drink some wine here at 9am Good day sir
Im an older zoomer and on my first Club experiences I remember being lowkey horrified, thinking “This is supposed to be peak social occasion/interaction?”
I think it's what they called "third places" - you have your home, you have your work. But everything else has been turned into streets and roads, no parks to hang around with friends etc. That's a part of it
I think one of the main social issues both generations are going to have to overcome-Generation Z and Millennials-are some of the chronically online behaviors that potentially spill out into the real world. We're talking about small things that-while holding absolutely no weight in the real world-regularly begin miniature wars online. Because so many people under 40 years old are now "trained" to view their online spaces and subcultures as "real"-which they are, in their way-I see more and more people partaking in real-world discourse over things that eight years prior, you might have only found being discussed on Twitter. Everything from "I don't like the [extremely ignorant] rapper you like," to "I don't like that you want to see these two [entirely fictional] characters kiss," is enough to put people in the physical world at odds with one another. Let alone the younger generations' outspoken (perhaps radicalized?) political interests, which is one of the oldest socially dividing factors in human history. I feel like, for these third spaces to work, people are going to have to completely relearn what social decorum is, and that includes keeping "passionate" thoughts to yourself: which leads us back to feelings of isolation all over again. And in learning to "keep things to ourselves", doesn't that sort of lead us all back to where our Baby Boomer/Generation X parents began, on a social level? The idea that there are "some things" one doesn't speak about in public, and by "some things," what we really mean in the aforementioned cases is: anything with more depth than "the weather". I'm definitely not arguing against any of the points you made! Just adding some additional food for thought. I'd love to see us all get off of our phones/tablets/PCs and into third spaces again. I'm just wondering if, in our collective states of being chronically online-often in a socially aggressive way-we can ever hope to see a true return to building physical communities without feeling as though we're swallowing half of our feelings, having social outbursts over fictional content, or over people who literally do not even know we exist.
Considering you're probably speaking about US... When the free third spaces are basically non existent and the world living through economic crisis, we cannot expect the massive return of real connections. It's like okay, you get off your phones and do what? Even good old driving around is not an option with those gas prices.
I agree; I see a lot of online behavior bleeding over into real life. Likewise, I think it's also going to be a learning curve understanding how to act online. Maybe it will be an evolving process learning how to weave in both online and in person interactions healthily.
Yep, and that’s why I highly doubt it’ll happen. These people have been raised to behave in this weird social manner, and it’s only increasing. Then consider the kids growing up online, who spent 3 years without regular schooling, scrolling through social media all day. This is how people are and how they’ve become, they can’t socialise like every other generation of humans before them did. And they’re too prideful to change too. Never have I seen so many people obsessed with looking “cool”, and not in the fun way, but in the “I’m above you and everyone else” way. These modern people don’t see it, but they are strange, and they think it’s how they should be.
@@APsGTGThat’s definitely the gist of it, but culturally a lot of the West is just fractured. I used to consider myself pretty open minded, but the last 5 or so years has made me pretty intolerant and just being honest - especially after Covid, how vicious people and even family got, I don’t really see that changing. And it’s for so many differing things, not just politics. I’ve legit sabotaged early friendships because they had an opinion or view on something I really didn’t like, and I’m sure it’s been done back to me as well. I don’t think these cultural divides can be fixed anymore.
I’m 22 & never been to a club & honestly have no desire to ever go to one. Every time I tell people I never been clubbing they can’t believe it lol. I only ever been to bars & seeing how rowdy people can get from drinking makes me want to go to clubs less & less.
Very, very, very smart… surrounded by sloppy drunk, out of control people, often times one’s who become extremely violent if anyone says something they don’t like / someone accidentally walks too close to them. REAL clubbing is not the Disney portrayal movies give off
Born in 1995 I remember early 2010s everyone in highschool was talking about clubbing every weekend. I always felt like an outcast because I hated alcohol and clubbing.
@@YOCOSMINMAX16 I am 26, never went to those parties, never been drunk. I don't regret anything but plenty of people who were in the party scene has MANY REGRETS.
I kinda miss the old pre pandemic party days going downtown or to the beach it was a different vibe. Now a days there is just something missing and a lot of the coolest places have been replaced or closed down. I feel like nature activities have become more popular or maybe I’m just older.
I can only speak for the UK, but they were already on their way out before the pandemic over here. I went to pubs in 2019 and the atmosphere was dead. Tried sparking up a conversation with the bar staff, but I could tell they weren't interested and were basically forcing themselves to converse with me. Honestly, the whole vibe of society has been off since the start of 2017 if you ask me. There was a shift in the mood and things haven't been the same since.
I grew up with millenial parents, my dad watched a ton of those party movies back in the day and I honestly never pictured myself getting black out drunk, throwing up, inflating sex dolls, having sex in someone else's room, and then waking up with a hangover... Did not appeal to me at all.
Im 40. When I was a teenager there were a lot of youth sub cultures centered around interests, class and background, music etc. At school I was very much a loner, and a bit of a shy kid. In my teens I started listening to punk and metal music, and started going to a local rock club and found my tribe. I had found a social circle of like minded people. I've also been into videogames since i was 3. I started working at a video game shop in my 20s and there i found another tribe (gamers/nerds/alternatives) You could look at people back then, the way they dress, talk, walk, what they are into - you could IDENTIFY with other people - without knowing them at all you knew you had something in common. But tribalism has somewhat died with the advent and rise of the internet. We are post everything. An amalgamation of all the tribes, and as such, we are not as strongly comnected to certain individuals as we once were. The closest things we have to youth sub culture now is sharing the same political ideologies. Even gymbros arent a subculture anymore, everyone goes to the gym now. There are online subcultures but they dont help you identify each other out in public. My girlfriend is younger than me, and despite being a genuinely lovely, smart, considerate, funny, honest and compassionate person - she does not have a single person to call a friend except me and i find this so shocking - but its actually not that uncommon or unusual now. It's really sad. And it's happening to adults as well as kids and its going to get worse. Ironically, connecticivity is driving us apart. If you have or find real people you like who want to be your friends, cling on to them dearly and work at maintaining those relationships.
I don't mean to be flippant. I'm just saying it was an entirely different world, with entirely different sorts of people, who were much more social. And there were regularly parties in or at people's houses. There were adults having cocktail parties after work at houses along the block. At nearly every time of the day, there were children playing in yards and running around in the street. Everybody had company picnics, back yard barbecues, and block parties. People pursued hobbies that ended at parties. For instance the rally club would be out in their cars all day and they would meet at the end of the day for a party. People had a party at the country club after they played golf. When you were on the road, you could stop at places where there seemed to be a party going on all the time - like at rest stops. The lack of third places is part of the problem, but it was something else. There was social trust. People could trust most people to behave themselves. It wasn't just parents who watched over kids, most adults seemed to feel a responsibility to watch over kids, so strangers would scold a kid who was getting out of line. "Hey, you kids, cut that out!" "Hey kid, what are you doing?" Parents at a rest stop on the highway would let their kids run wild with all the other kids at the rest stop, and none felt like they needed to watch the kids all the time. Research social trust a little - it's a real thing, and it influences the social development of children, producing very different kinds of people.
I'm struck by how different people are now when I tell a great niece or nephew there are kids playing outside, why doesn't he or she go out and play with them. I was a lot younger than they were when I would go out just looking for other kids to play with. At the age of four, when I moved in to the neighborhood I grew up in, I went down the block, knocking on every door and asking whoever answered if there were any children I could play with in the house. They thought it was a little freaky that I was alone, and they kept asking me where my mother was, but it was a thing I could do back then. And as I got older and got a bike, I ranged farther and farther and sought out other kids up to miles in any direction from my home and all the way into Chicago. There were people like me who just went everywhere to meet everyone, just for fun. But these days, the kids won't go outside and play, and they act like they would rather die than go join a bunch of kids playing down the block. They are housebound, indoor cats - shy and picky about everything.
And there were fights, lots of fights. I think it was the introduction of fluoride to the water supply that dampened people's spirits. Kids were passionate - I don't mean about sex, I mean about life and competition and stunts, and it was like they were living the ancient myths in their daily runs around the neighborhood, their encounters with strangers, their very physical triumphs and tragedies, and their daring exploits. They would dare one another to do some exploit and drive one another to greater exploits and adventures, and share the results with amusement. It seemed like everybody was always doing something, like taking turns walking around on stilts, and then someone would say: "Hey lets go see who's hanging out in the park today!" There might even be a bonfire, often there were kids around a bonfire by the tracks, under the highway overpass, or in the woods.
@@albihysenaj5997 apparently, i noticed they died out around 2014 in my area and friends Chalked it up to us getting older but apparently its a thing of the past which is sad because for better or worse they were an experience
The main reason today is the smartphone. Why go out when you have an entertainment/dopamine fix in your hand..and it costs you no effort. It's the comfort and ease of use. But it started before then. The first mobile phones in the early 2000's, the younger generation were glued to them also with SMS (texting) The social interaction decline has been going on since PC, Televison and mobiles have come into our lives. It's all these screens that have brought our attention away.
Let's be honest, bars just have lower quality people looking for simple things. Not a way a lot of people, especially introverts, connect with others. I have had multiple "partiers" admit to me their alcoholism problem isn't a net benefit. One of them even had kidney problems after getting wasted.
Extrovert here. It’s hard for us too. Half of the people in those places are just coping HARD. I’ve had multiple women admit that the booze is just “self-medication” for anxiety and that they actually do want deeper connections. Still couldn’t befriend any of them because they weren’t ready to give up the drink + lack of third spaces that don’t involve alcohol 🤦🏻♀️
Gen Z and especially Gen Alpha will be the innovative generations to create these third spaces. We are already starting to figure it out. There is money to be made by starting these third spaces - hobby centers, as you called them. And no, you wouldn’t have to charge too much to operate them. The thing is, it’s not that Gen Z (and even speaking for myself, a 32 yr old millennial) don’t have the money to pay for these toxic spaces like clubs and bars. It’s that we are healthier generations that learned what not to do from their parents and elders. Also, the internet shows us where addiction gets us. More and more of us are turning to an alcohol-free or sober life every single day, even at the expense of being isolated in our homes. It stands that we are lonely and we are desperate for connection. Although we don’t have as much money as we wish we did (thank you inflation), it’s not that we are entirely broke. We just have to prioritize our health first, even at the expense of loneliness. I do think it would be extremely lucrative (in a declining employment market) for more Gen z and Gen alpha folks to use those beautiful minds to create more third spaces. ❤
I think we're headed for that as well. If there's a problem, in time, there will be a solution (based on how the market normally works). I saw that too that Gen Z is reported to drink less alcohol than the previous generations. Interesting stuff!
@@Hartweizengriesspudding Typical woman stuff, you know cheating, sleeping around with the best looking guy then crying loneliness on the internet while having a different man every week😂
As an introvert, parties were always miserable. Music too loud, too many people, social anxiety 😅 I don't mind them as much now, but I would rather chill at my house, maybe have some close friends over, and have a better time
@@kylespevak6781 Not for me. Earplugs block off the noise of the music and lets you actually hear human voices from the filter. I am and have worn them cause I don't wanna get worse tinnitus from not using them.
@@johngddr5288 If I have to use something to exist there closer to how I want, it's not fun. I'm not going to try and make unappealing things better, I'm trying to do appealing things. Still don't know what I'm missing at a party or club that I can't do 10x better at home.
@@kylespevak6781 Oh im not saying I go to parties. Was just trying to suggest what to do for the noise. My family has a ton of parties I'm obligated to go on my days off so I do that.
Six close friends? Lol. I couldn't even imagine that. As for parties though, I've never been to one. As a kid, that seemed to be a thing the older kids did, and my parents did, and so on. Those my age who do drink seem to do so privately or to celebrate something in their life, and the kind of social alcoholism I've seen almost every old man in my town be experienced with is something I haven't seen in this generation. I should mention though that I was too poor to complete college, and though I got put in there early while I was still in high school due to my academic achievements, I couldn't return since covid kicked me out. As such, if I ever could go back to college, the last thing I would do is get no sleep and get drunk and party like a clown; if I had another chance to go to college, I wouldn't get another.
I’m 37, and even in high school my ideal Friday or Saturday night was getting a pizza and spending it in front of the tv. I haven’t changed much since then in that regard, so I welcome this age of introverts.
Yeah my life hasn’t shifted much either as a result of the isolation age. I’ve been learning to be alone since 2005 when I started online highschool. It’s interesting seeing the rest of the world transition to an introvert’s life. It’s not easy if you aren’t built for it.
@@FoundSheep-AN going out? If by that, you mean going out in my backyard to barbecue, tend to my garden or roast marshmallows over a fire, yes I do that.
@@FoundSheep-AN like many others I have no interest in being around people who: Hate me for who I am. Hate me for what I look like. Hate me for how I dance. Hate me for a perceieved level of wealth greater than or less tha. most - usually based on how I dressed. Hate me for supporting the patriarchy. Hate me for not picking up the tab not just on a date but for a cackle of hens in a club, because I'm a "man", or perceived to be a man. Hate me enough to claim SH just for approaching at a club. It seems the only option is to walk away, refuse to engage in activities, and save my money at least until I can leave for an uninhabited island and die.
Well i guess people drugging peoples drink, murders, fights, stds, hoeing around not just women, getting sick, feeling void of emotion why go clubbing or partying when theres no benefits i can see in them
I mean if you only look at extremely negative examples then yeah it sounds horrible lmfao. But theres plenty of fun memories, adventures, silly times and absolutely fascinating people you can meet if you go to parties. You just need a good group of friends and be safe of course!
@@mobiusraptor7 Ok sure, its not for everybody. People have different interests & hobbies. U can have fun in many diff ways with diff group of friends. I agree with you. Gym & range is fun too! :)
@@mobiusraptor7 so you don't like it good for you. stop acting like everyone who does is some demonic heathen. it's been part of human life for all of civilization.
I hate bars and clubs. I dont understand the appeal. You're just getting drunk amd stamding around with a bunch of strangers listeming to shitty music. Plus alcohol just makes me wanna revert back into myself. I hwve family who try to take me out so i can meet someoke but im not interested in anyone who is at the club or bar.
I'm turning 30 soon and live in a small village. We have a few partys a year around here. You know, summer festival, fall festival... The old people party the hardest. They dance, they drink, they sing. It's lovely and my husband and I love doing the same. Don't miss out, loves.
Clubs are overrated but as a 37-year-old I did have some really good times that I don't think I would have had if I was born later. Fact is, people are scared and willing to stay isolated because the news media has made everything seem like a threat and, also, I think culturally we're in a place where we're slowly growing out of the need to feel bubble wrapped all the time but that's going to take time. The pendulum has swung in that direction and it will swing back in the direction of people seeking thrills. We're just not there yet though.
will the pendulum swing back though? this is most prominently affected by technology/social media and it'll only get worse as time goes by. even shorter-attention spans, prices that don't seem to stabilize, reliance on subcultures and niche identifiers, nothing seems to point to the partying culture as we know it coming back
@@RKanth54 oh no we're all going to be flushed down to a giant technological toilet. So what happens when we, the pieces of s***, land in another dimension? Do you think we'll have a party then or do you think we'll have successfully held on to our smartphones the entire way down the pipes?
@@RKanth54 Yeah thrills will be had with augmented reality goggles where generative AI will create any world you want right in your bedroom. The "third place" will be there similar to the move "ready player 1"
That's what I think too. Ebbs and flows, comes and goes. Yin and Yang. Roaring 20s, to leave it to Beaver 40s and 50s, to the Crazy 60s, the Disco 70s, the wild 80s, and the dance techno 90s, and the crunk music early 2000s, i dont know about the 2010s-undefined, and the 2020s hmmmm, tiktok era maybe.
We are all addicts of very cheap entertainment. There technically was a smartphone in 2007….the 1st iPhone. But the sociological phenomenon was slow to develop. Very few people had them from 2007 to 2010. You were also very limited in what you could do with it and it was very small. Most things were still done on desktop or laptop. Most people still didn’t have a smartphone until around 2011. Now they started to be advanced. Over the next few years, smartphone ownership EXPLODED. I noticed by 2013, almost everyone was now GLUED to their phones. Around this time, dating apps also exploded in popularity. Smart TV’s also came out around 2015. Now you have apps on your TV like TH-cam and Netflix. The home entertainment got VERY good and it was VERY cheap. Couple all this with people becoming very paranoid of each other as society has declined. And higher prices due to crazy inflation. It’s very easy to see how we all got here.
One dude at a concert mentiined he is lonely, then he went on to talk about his wife and coworkers. Jeez, I am single and work from home. He doesn't know what lonely is.
loneliness can manifest in many different ways. you can't help feeling what you feel, regardless of circumstances. you likely wouldn't have gathered the context of his life, either. it's not a competition, it's a problem plaguing many people. people can be depressed, even when they're otherwise successful in life. we've seen many people at the top still feel enough despair that they feel there's only one way out from it. we just can't assume what others' lives are like because we start projecting our desires of what they have. i personally have people i value in life & know i can rely on when i really need help, & many have expressed value in me, but due to many horrible past experiences, it's hard not to shake off the looming sense that i'm alone in this world, & that i should best adapt & equip myself to rely on myself only. people might not initially assume the emotional weight, burdens, & traumas i carry though based on how i often present myself. i will also joke, laugh, & make light of certain things that bother me, coming off as though they're less concerning than they really are. i was hurt by the same people i trust & have been made to feel lonely by them because of how they've clearly forgotten me in some past instances, as well as mistreated me (albeit i confronted the friend who did so). i'm aware people have been attracted to me in adulthood, but there's an anxiety associated with others being unfamiliar with anything less superficial (past appearances). people irl don't usually know or dabble in my own interests, & while i could share in others', there's some issues with that that i won't go into. it's been a long time since, but i think i'm still traumatized from my both first best-friend & boyfriend having lied about the reason why we broke up (which was because he thought i was 'weird'). from adolescence to adulthood, my main outlet for sharing in hobbies in interests has felt limited to the internet. however, the internet is only so fulfilling compared to in-person interaction. i grew up in a family of 7, but my 4 siblings were all much older than me (7+ years), & the overall dynamics were very troubled due to abuses & neglect in their childhoods. i couldn't trust either parent of mine, because they would talk shit & vent about each other & their problems through me even as a small child. there's so much that goes into the psyche surrounding loneliness, & it's not just about what one tangibly has around them.
@@nilmerg thank you for sharing. It is all subjective. Somebody living alone on a mountain can feel content, but a movie-star can feel lonely. I feel the loneliest when I am in a crowd of people I don't know. But seem to be fine in nature alone.
@@artfx9 i think it's important for everyone to understand that many of us are fighting our own problems invisible to others. maybe it is true that someone has "less" burdens in their lives, but much like we are aware of our own issues unbeknownst to others, chances are the same can be said of those we seem to have everything. it's just a matter, then, how much of our sympathy we want to extend towards them. but again, we shouldn't approach such things as a matter of competition.
1. Social environments/activities are gone
2. Social skills are gone
3. Money/economic opportunities are gone
4. Inexpensive living is gone
5. Community culture is gone
1. wrong
2. you can learn & practice
3. get a job
4. find roommates
5. not entirely, you can support community culture by going to events even hanging out at the mall
@@free-the-whales your libertarian mindset is outdated.
@@free-the-whalese@t lead
@@free-the-whales
1. Most social places/gatherings have been closed or became hard to enter after pandemic
2. Stop kidding yourself, our mindset has drastically changed these years and this phenomenon was studied en mass
3. How about you pay us what you owe? Prices went up yet the wage has barely moved and inch.
4. Or stop hogging every living space and making them into expensive airbnb
5. Hanging out at the mall? What???
@@DarkSamael55 there’s still malls around and places to see people, bookstores , where I live we still have these , where do you live where you don’t have any where to go?
Party rockers are literally in the house tonight
This is hilarious
This comment needs more love
This is the comment of all times
oh FFS this should have more likes
That comment is golden
Why does party culture suck now? 🤔
1. Nobody dances anymore…..
- Back then, even if you sucked or didn’t know how people still found their way to the dance floor/middle of the room and had fun, regardless of who was watching.
- No one wants to go to an event where everyone’s just standing against the wall
2. Everyone’s always recording things for some reason
- No one wants to let loose and enjoy themselves because they’re (rightfully) worried about ending up on the internet, forever being a laughingstock.
Yep, back in early/mid 2000s kids started getting cell phones but majority didn't have cameras/internet access. No one was on their phones constantly at parties/just hanging out. Miss split screen Goldeneye, slappers only was so fun.
if someones recording unethically just be an asshole
Kids blowing up but foos sad people don't dance like they used to 😂😂😂😂😂
The recording part is HUGE
@@free-the-whalesstart playing some copyright protected music like the cops do
as an introverted teen, the early 2010's felt like a giant party I wasn't invited to
Maybe because noboby liked you.
@@tombe5791 Keep projecting bro, I'm sure it'll become the truth eventually🤣
@@tombe5791 I'm sorry you weren't invited either
Same here
metalcore and scene was big. warped tour. period.
People are also realizing that alcohol is a shitty narcotic and sleep deprivation sucks.
Truer words were never spoken. Booze is a losing proposition.
Plus, waking up next to some screaming 304 who doesn't remember coming home with you.
people cant afford sleep deprivation anymore and the costs of alcohol. shit is pretty expensive
Gen Z is taking up smoking again
I finally realized this when I was 31, luckily not 10-20 years later...
Club culture was about living in the moment. Camera phones introduced anxiety to the party, getting future job options destroyed by someone taking an out of context picture ruins the moment. The club went from facing nervousness by talking to strangers, to being lined with wall flowers who are extra judgemental of those making the first approach. Its ok to be rejected, but people don't want to risk becoming a meme.
thats why I only go to techno raves where phones are banned
Camera phones and social media didn’t create this. Cancel culture and “social justice” from the 2010s Great Awokening did.
@@tpeterson9140where are you from, I love techno, and I'd love it phones were banned
I think this is the best assessment I've read about people's general anxiety to be "social" these days. It makes a lot of sense when viewed through this lens.
@@johnbryan9200 europe... germany, spain for example
I'm 35, and I have never met anyone from dating apps. People now are missing the whole point of meeting someone.
It’s not that people are missing the point, it’s that a lot of people don’t know how to go out and meet people in person in the first place.
Maybe it's because I'm good looking but dating apps worked Great for me. Meeting people irl absolutely sucked.
I love dating apps. As someone with anxiety, it's perfect
@dangerzzzone2925 in that case I can see that being helpful
@@cosmo9925 Agreed, Gen Z just seems to be the first generation that doesn’t know how to enjoy clubs, bars, or any random in-person social interaction. It’s like they always think about the worst in people when in-person and aren’t open to new people.
I also think it’s a bigger problem in U.S. than other countries. When my wife and I travel to other countries people just seem to be happier and know how to have fun.
people don’t want to risk the embarrassment of being recorded while dancing. your enjoyment might end up making you twitter’s main character of the day…
Good point, I hate how now it's so common to record everything.
we don't really need parties to make social relationships, I mean she said like no parties=loniless but it is not the one way to make friends after school
That almost never happened
This is not the case at all
lol stop projecting
The decline of third places in countries like the US is so baffling to me. There are no places for social gatherings. You want a coffee? Drive through. Want something to eat? Drive through. You want to sit down in the park? Sorry, private property. Great video!
Who would want a coffee with you? Who would want to eat with you? Who would sit with you in a park? If you are an average guy forget these programs. You don't really matter to anyone.
@@tuinov6286 sounds like projection to me. I’m a “average guy” (whatever that’s supposed to be) and I have a lot of great friends from different backgrounds and genders. Grow up, seek therapy and be a good person, periodt.
@@alu161 I just don't know any reason i would find you interesting. Like who the **** cares about anything you have to say or anything you do.
@@tuinov6286 talvez tu no tengas a quien importarle pero a @alu3735 si tiene a quien. No todos viven la misma vida que tú.
@@tuinov6286keep the blackpill to yourself bud
I've noticed that every popular song in early 2010s was about parties, clubbing, hanging out with friends, radiated positive energy. What happened to us?
Technology not only contributed to the loneliness of out generation, but the degradation as well. There are so many people arguing online, spreading misinformation, going to extremes with their political beliefs, revolving their whole personality around their online persona and instagram "beautiful life" image, creating new labels for gender identities... Back in the day, we didn't think about it. We just lived.
The satanic agenda has accelerated, that’s what’s happened
@@user-xu5ym4jd3m all people curating their perfect life image probably hella fake and miserable
@@user-xu5ym4jd3m I 100% agree, I'm 19 and so disappointed at a huge part of my generation because of that mindset. To come of age in a time where you need to know the real world but everyone just spends all day online and expects you to do the same is frustrating
Gotta bring 1920s culture back. There ain't NO parties or FUN without JAZZ MUSIC!!!!! Gotta bring back Mr. CLOWN
Its to expensive to go out clubbing, not worth my wallet anymore. To many bills and food is crazy expensive.
not to mention most people have to work non stop to upkeep their shit 1700 a month shoebox room.
Something that doesn't get mention enough, we have to work all the time if you want to have anything apart from basics.
Fr best comment yet explaining why i stead of bashing women
Take the mini bottles in your pocket or purse
Another reason why people stay single.
@@John19Smith97 Bashing of women is a convenient thing to do, women are just so fussy and won't go out with any random dude!
Old dude here. 61. Very well done. I think there is also more awareness now about the dangers of drugs and alcohol than when I began college in 1981. Alcohol and drugs were EVERYWHERE back then and were really, really cheap. To the credit of people your age they are making much wiser decisions than my generation did about those things. Glad to see that. I think that the unspoken thing too might be that we are very fractious as a society right now. We are divided up into camps along various lines, and each camp holds steadfast to its territory. It was nothing like this four decades ago. That fact is decidedly unhelpful when it comes to meeting people if you decide that every other group except your own is bad. Excellent video btw. Keep up the good work!
Half of society lives by a set of core values and the other half doesn’t. You can’t have cohesion as a society like this.
Smoking was a big thing too. Many times partying was just an infinite loop of smoking and drinking. And one can't really do much other than socialize while smoking.
Hello there sir, 18M here, I just wanted to ask some questions, here i go then, what was the big reason people wanted to do smoking, drinking or doing drugs back then , that was because it relieved some sort of mental health issue like stress or anxiety, or was it because it was lack of medicines at the time for issues like these? Maybe it was a way to socialize because everyone did so? Now I never did any sort of these things and will never have, and like you said it was cheap compared to todays standards, but i wanted to do an insider to your days and get some knowledge, thanks in any regards, have great day!
Democrat and republican still existed back then. The blueprints for modern society were already in place. All you needed was time to predictably see where we are today
A lot of the party people are dead -- I know a lot of the really fun people I grew up with ended up in a puddle of their own puke, whether they meant to do fentanyl or not, they did. The gen under me are all a bit autsy, and the social ones seem a bit snappy and cynical -- traits like that. I'm not really sure they'd go out and play even if technology was... 90's, 00's level.
The Club scene aided their own demise by focusing on exclusive sections and overpriced bottle service. Every “club” is now just an expensive bar. Why are their tables on a “dance floor” to hold drinks?
Of all the shit that died when the 2008 GFC killed the Indie Sleaze / Vulgar Wave era, why bottle service had to be the thing to survive is maddening. It’s always been THE WORST.
And the music is crap now
Yes, and no room to dance. Total bullshit ripoff. Why pay 2000 for a fucking bottle of vodka that you can get at a liquor store for $50? Or less!!!
@@MFTH-cam683 DJs cannot transition now...the new DJs are lazy.
@@effewe2 most don't even bother to put together songs in concurrent keys/ even the same tempo. It's agony!! No musicality.
I used to go to clubs/illegal raves a lot back in the 90's and early 00's. Had social media been a thing back then the whole rave scene would likely have not happened. Everyone would have been too self conscious about ending up as a viral meme to be seen dancing badly under the influence.
I miss those days.
You have probably never been to shambala, those people dont have a care in the world for what others think of them, if they get meme’d they are happy about it
Wtf are you talking about? That stuff absolutely still goes on lmao
This is a big factor. No one can be themselves anymore without some idiot having to film literally everything instead of being in the moment themselves. They just film instead of participating. I hate these people because they ruin it for everyone else who don't want a fun night out to be on the internet for everyone to see forever.
The secret is that the electronic misic scene is alive and well, they just had a killer lineup in my city and tickets were 30 bucks.
15 years ago, people would laugh at you if you dated someone you met online. It showed people you lack the ability to attract someone in person aka you have no game/rizz.
Crazy how new generations see it as a normal thing.
15 years ago cute girls could only be found online, now that space if filled with whores, so you gotta meet cute girls irl
As a gen-z, what you are saying is true and we think the same way but we don't have much of a choice. Nobody likes dating apps, but its either the most or second most common may of meeting partners in many countries now.
Ive never liked apps it's just false and shitty for men .Id rather cold approach but that's been social nightmares cuz people are flakey mimics .
As a 32-year-old I still think that you're lame as hell if you got a boyfriend or a girlfriend from an online dating site. It's just not going to change for me. I know it changed for a lot of my generation, but I still think that's lame as hell
@@NeighborhoodWatchMannabsolute same. It’s just such a strange anti-social way of human interaction. You went out of your way to download this app geared towards to seggs in order to get the seggs. You didn’t let it flow naturally, you went and SPECIFICALLY seeked it.
People need to put down their pride and go outside and approach people, both men and women. Go to the grocery store, join clubs, join workout classes and try to talk to someone you find cute. Don’t stare at them, talk to them (this goes double for you women).
I’ve found that many people aren’t really “anxious” like they’d like to believe, because cool friendly people don’t really care if you’re anxious if they like you they like you, but people actually have too much pride and are too high headed to risk any amount of potential rejection. It’d break the false image they have of themselves being this high king/queen. We need to bring back people being normal and stop copying the arrogant “nonchalant” celebrities they see on their screens.
Not just the young people - I’m 38 and have been feeling like this my entire youth, and I still feel this way. I work a full time job and am a parent and there is no way to make new friends or find friends because there is no where to do it or find people willing to put in the time to keep up a said friendship. It sucks.
Inadvertently Id blame smartphones
I feel sad for you and I hope you find friendship.
its bad now but it was waaay more fun before
Honestly guys as someone who has overcome loneliness, my best advice is to find a music community. There is a community of 250 psytrance people in my city on a Whatsapp and everyone is supporting, encouraging and meeting with one another regularly. No drama, just lots of love and support. Try and find your local psytrance event because it's common for people to go by themselves and meet people easily. No phones, no judgement, just kind people enjoying themselves and others company!
You cant be serious you're using your wife and kids as an excuse to not have friends either you don't have social skills or you're lszy
Gen X here. if you think the 2010s were a party, the 1990 were a billion times better, At least in europe where we partied our ass off throughout the nineties.
So that's why Europeans have no asses these days... interesting.
Yeah I had a blast in the 90's! I want to go home to them!
i lived through the saturday night fever generation we would have sex in the parking lot in the friends custom van outside the club....then go back in and meet more girls.............a few yrs later AIDS showed up
Fuck yeah, the early 90s club scene world-wide was phenomenal.
You’re damn right! I was born in 2001, but the 80s and 90s songs are the best!!
they charge more because they don't have as many customers anymore and they don't have as many customers anymore because they charge more.
Plenty people still partying. Comment section is full of coping introverts.
@@jr5993 yeah i party a lot myself but pay 80 (in your country's currency) to be in the club is lowkey crazy. Not recognizing the imminent isolation of capitalism in an increasingly fascist reality is innocence.
Introverts like, “Welcome to our world! Now go over there…”
lol. it's a simple life.
😂 Accurate.
Book Club Radio @ Home raves anyone?
Lol😂😂.
😅 true hehe. sucks for people who don't enjoy the calm life style. I'm not a fan of clubbing and loud music or with loud people, it's not my energy, but I'm against people not doing what they think will make them truly happy.
though I believe the ones who are in the middle of doing these things are narcisists because everyone has a phone ready to record themselves and post to get likes and followers in return, nothing of just enjoying the moment, they always want something in return.
on the lack of 3rd places: i live in a mid-sized city in the midwest. i’m under 21 still and am not in college. when i hang out with friends (who i met in high school) all we do is drive around, maybe get food, maybe go to the store sometimes. there are literally no other places to hangout when you’re not 21 and not going to school and it isnt even a small town. especially at evening/ night when all the coffee places close. nowhere to go, nothing to do that encourages social interaction. i want to move so bad but cost of living is so high, thanks for the video!
so your suggested solution is clubs?
go out and explore nature, have bonfires, makeup activities!
my friends.. surprised i had any at one point. Used to have tail gate parties at the movies every summer.... inviting tons of people. And people would show up early to just play softball or 4 square before the movie started.
GO TO THE CLUB!!!!
the midwest emo dream
I'm a Millennial and grew up in the party era. I'd say it's pretty much over. The hang overs are too extreme and they don't get any better the older you get. It's unsustainable and I think Gen Z notices it.
That's not the main reason. I am a millennial as well and I know what happened. People went to clubs to socialize and to get together. But since women can get free attention from the internet, it's over. Women simply don't have to move in order to get attention and boyfriends. While a critical mass of men understood that they are only wasting their time and money in these clubs. Since the majority of them is not even getting a chance with women, anymore. That's the real reason why clubs are dead.
@@nocturnaljoe9543And here we have the incel who spend the whole day obsessing and crying over women 🙄
@@nocturnaljoe9543 Millennial here. Maybe I went to the wrong clubs, but socializing for me was difficult with the loud music playing in the background. I still miss clubbing. Unfortunately, I dont miss hangover.
@@Mr.Coffee576 I wasted a lot of time in these clubs, before I got my first gf. We were together for 9 years.
@@nocturnaljoe9543you are just not a lover of dance music my friend (or didnt have a good party experience yet), clubbing is much more than a quick meat market to me. 33, living in berlin
Our economy is in a recession. I don't care what the experts say. I know we're in a recession because most of my friend group has fallen apart. It's too expensive to go out and the added stress has lead to infidelity and cheating. These are not a sign of a thriving economy, we're in hard times. None of these things were happening 5 years ago. Our economy was booming 5 years ago. When recessions hit, you quickly find out who the good and bad people are. People change rather quickly when the money stop flowing.
Yeah. It's made pursuing hobbies expensive too, which is part of the reason why most people these days don't have any. I believe it's also because social media has turned people into a bunch of boring worker drones with no stand out qualities to their personalities whatsoever.
Yep. I’ve never seen so much adultery and infidelity in my life.
2023 was the highest recorded unaliving since like 1941
@@l2xsniper1 gee I wonder why
Vote Trump then. A real businessman.
I honestly believe that the main factor that is contributing to social isolation nowadays is the rise of the cost of living and inflation. Back last year when I was finishing off my final year of University I would go to clubs or bars at least once or twice a month, but the price of going would typically set me back sometimes up to £100 depending on the cirumstances. You gotta think about entry prices, drinks, even pre-drinks, post-clubbing food and taxis home, and sometimes... costumes.
We're noticing the consequences of going out too much more i.e hangovers, expenses, health effects and realising it is not worth it. I developed really bad mental health issues from consistent partying and drinking (yes even during lockdown) and have become fully aware of the negative effects of living that lifestyle.
In America the cost of living has gone up, college loans, credit card bills, housing, health insurance different then every country, everything has gone up so you have to have multiple jobs and side hustles. So finding someone is on the back burner.
girls are wired too much...they are over stimulated from social media.........its a fake world
You’re totally right that the cost of living is insane rn, but that was also true during the Great Recession! The jokes about millennials clubbing in business casual are because, for a lot of us, our work clothes were all we had. So I have a hard time believing that the COL is truly a big factor. I personally remember being dead broke and sneaking into bars, smuggling flasks in with us, partying in random garages, parking lots, etc. (not promoting any of these things, just saying we were wild before everything was being caught on camera). I think if the motivation is there, young people will always find a way. It seems to be the motivation that’s lacking, for better or for worse
Agree with this, it's more a money thing than anything else, everything is more expensive but wages have hardly went up at all, of course everyone isn't going out and having fun, how would they?
@@lowercasesncapitals795 Don't be sad, not all hope is lost. Well, maybe it is, but only in the USA. I go to a lot of concerts seeing young folks there. But the thing is that these are not mainstream productions. If young people decide to go out, it's mostly not for the dum dum radio noises but for something real.
I was at a festival a month ago and some fresh out of school guys had their tents close to me so naturally we got into a neighborly talk, comparing bands we wanna see and stuff. I go there almost regularly for the last 10 years so I see all prices rising and remembering my first time as a fresh out of school guy I asked them how they manage. Because it was tough on money for me back then when it was way cheaper. They said that they brought as much of canned food and beer as they could so they can spend more money on records and band merch.
Don't get it twisted: party culture was always dogshit.
Someone wasnt invited to the party..
Depends on what kind of party ur talking about. Partying has brought people together since the beginning of humanity. Tribes would celebrate around a fire after a long day of hunting for food all day long
Im Dutch and party culture was the best thing in my life tbh. from 2003 tot 2010 i partied in Amsterdam, NYC, LA, Tokyo. But i guess endless scrolling on social media is ofc the new cool thing! How deeply sad a gen can become.....
True: getting wrecked and clubbing is genuinely overrated
@yushamush9849 it's straight-up life destroying, is what it is.
Im Gen Z, I was born in 98. I resonate deeply with all the things you have laid out in this video and im sure its what a lot of people in our age bracket thinking about every night. The dissolution of community. The hyper individualism. I'm not religious and I wasn't raised that way, but the church is making a comeback these days. I've thought about attending myself at this point. To meet others who are ready to step out of this digital coma we are all in. I just want to find people who are severing something outside themselves. You won't find growth at a bar or club and imo you most certainly will not find love.
I think it's time for Gen z to step up and start rebuilding our social ties. We are more than just Co-workers and Aquentencies. We are neighbors, we are brothers and sisters, we are mothers and fathers, we are teachers, we are philosophers, artists. It's time to slow down and celebrate the humanity that exists in us all, To get back to what is important. Building a LIFE that is worth LIVING everyday.
Agreed.
LOVE THE CALL TO ACTION! "Step step up and start rebuilding our social ties." It's true.
Can't do that very well when we a re broke.
as a Gen Z person born in 2004, I 100% agree
Exactly, so tell us what have you done to rebuild your social ties huh?
Everyone is too afraid of being filmed while drunk and being put into a monetized cringe compilation video on some stranger's TH-cam channel.
This. It used to be rare to end up on the internet. But nowadays anytime you're in public you are literally a click away from being shared to the internet (Or livestreamed) Its creepy.
And that’s if ya don’t get arrested one way or another, or worse things
That's a good point didn't even think of that
@@300thNPC gen z just can’t drink and is generally cringe losers, of course you always end up in some cringe compilation ahahahahahahhha
That's right. It's the same in Japan.
The only reason why clubs existed was to pick up 304s.
Nowadays men who are attractive just use dating apps and the unattractive ones have completely given up
Yep
I think this is correct. Dating apps make dating super time efficient for the best looking men, which in turn allows them to monopolize a bigger share of the women.
Yeah, exactly. Growing up with social media and internet dating has made modern women incredibly picky, because if a woman wants to get laid, why sleep with a 7 / 10 man when she can sleep with an 8.5 / 10 man via Tinder? This means, as you say, that for top-tier men it's more convenient to get laid via Tinder, while average men don't even try anymore because there's no point. 60% of young men are single.
I think it’s deeper than that. Modern women more than ever before get off on rejecting dudes, especially in person at the clubs & bars. It’s an ego boost. So no wonder men would rather sit home and swipe instead of going out and spending money just to get turned down.
@@APsGTGif she said yes while not interested and had the guy buying her dinners and roses there would be an issue with that as well. She can say no if she’s not interested
Covid really fucked up gen Z's formative socialization, and it's a shame.
Another thing I noticed: we spent all our money on going out, drinking, eating out, going to shows, etc. We weren't spending money on 25 streaming services, garbage from temu, and a new shein aesthetic every 3 weeks. Now almost all people are, but we had a chance to be young first and gen z does not. Capitalism really has us in its grip. Social norms have completely changed just within the last 10 years alone, it's really quite shocking.
Yea i notice the massive change and shift with Gen Z since Covid.
Going out is expensive, I would rather nickel and dime myself. At least then I get to build stuff for myself. And at least pretend I can own a little farm one day.
Money? what money? money where?
Nothing is going to change unless people do something about it and that starts with improving your own life. I am personally working on my own social skills as well.
I'm not spending money on any of those things, I just do not have the fucking money in the first place.
I feel like having a social life in general is dead. I remember in the 2000’s and into the 2010’s just being able to hang out with a lot of different people and just sit around laughing and talking for hours whenever. Im not a weirdo or something, but the possibility of doing that now seem very low.
Same. I remember meeting up with friends from college in the early 2010's. We used to go to the cinema, then go bowling at the alley in the same complex. There was also a little arcade in there, so we played some games afterwards too. Sometimes we just hung out in our local city without a set plan. I feel like stuff like that doesn't happen too often anymore. People come up with any excuse to not hang out now. Even when you do manage to get a friend to meet up with you these days, they just seem super depressed and distant and it makes it awkward. It's not their fault though. The world is fcked. It was easier to form healthy social relationships back in the 2000's-early 2010's because there wasn't the sheer amount of negative sh!t going on in the world back then that there is today. It's hard to have a positive conversation when the president of Russia is threatening to nuke your country.
Why you blame Russia if the United States are the ones starting wars.
It’s the States fault.
I have noticed this with smaller children as well, in my neighbourhood they don’t go outside as much to play football or draw things in the pavement with chalk anymore. When I was 10 you could walk to the next street and you would find all the other kids around your age outside in friend groups. So if you wanted and you were bored you could go outside and meet another kid in the next street to play with pretty much everyday, now streets are empty and kids only seem to go outside to catch the school bus.
I do the same thing now at uni in 2024. I think you're just getting older tbh
@@DeezN1892 yes and I think another difference between now and then is I don’t want drama or conflict with people. I remember having friends but also being pissed off with one or a few of them for periods and then becoming friends again. Also, it doesn’t seem worth it to just BS with people who don’t have the same goals as you. Like it’s a waste of time if they are just going to sit around and drink or something. I still do miss coming in a room of random people and telling some jokes or stories and constantly meeting new people all the time on the basis of just enjoying each other’s company, but there aren’t many opportunities for that. And then when you go to bar or something every is either super competitive or they have a goal or motive for interacting with you and they can’t just chill so it just makes it seem not worth it.
Partying might be dull in the USA, but abroad it's thriving more than it ever has before. Also, Americans aren't into electronic, house, and techno like foreigners are. Which is a shame, as deejays in Detroit and Chicago were some of the early pioneers of these genres
Yup, clubs in the US have been hip hop centric for decades now... and current hip hop/trap music just isn't danceable anymore. I'm near the border so I like going to Mexico for night life because there people still dance with each other.
@@malcorub post 2010 hiphop is a societal cancer.
Partying in Detroit and Chicago will get u in a early grave.
omg I LOVE techno and drum&bass
@@nokatenodefinitely not the point, more of a historic account of how those genres started off...
I'm a millennial. And, though i hate to sound old, I'm finally getting old! I graduated in 2009. Yes, my "boomer" dad wanted me to go to college. I don't blame him. We're a working class family and I think he hoped uni would prevent me having to scrape by like he did. Also back then, college was just the next step. Few people questioned it. That being said, I can remember coming home to see unemployment lines on the news. Despite that, people still had fun. I can remember going to a Sleighbells concert and it was like a giant party.
I left the US in 2010 and taught overseas until fall of 2019. During that time away, I'd really gotten used to meeting friends and going on adventures. When I came back home though, it was like a completely different country. Things feel more dangerous. People seem more violent while also being more cold to one another in general.
It's dangerous for men these days
Do not let bro cook@@davedsilva
@@davedsilva I'm sorry were we discussing only about men?
@@Kensuke22 no. You could have just said 'likewise for women'.
I'm glad that there are people calling out this cultural shift because as a somewhat social guy, it absolutely blows. I grew up during that era of clubbing/partying, too young to do it myself at the time but I still felt the culture's impact in my daily life. And while I know it was imperfect, I just miss having people hanging out and having fun regularly. Now, although it still happens occasionally, I can still tell it's not on the same scale, and I can tell you that people seem a lot more reluctant just to hang out and have fun together nowadays. I personally blame this shift in weakened economy, social media, loss of 3rd places, and the general fostering of anti-social practices in modern society (I'm looking at you, food service industry).
Dude I'm 54 and just spent 6 days in local jail..it was amazing...why? The closest thing to a rave I've had to 20 years. A pity there were not many women..just the guards..but without phones/internet/food (not much at least) we just talked for 100 hours in a row..like the end of a rave. It was awesom. I feel SO relaxed after that no wonder we loved raving..it chilled us out for a week.
@stoneneils this is probably the strangest comment I've ever read on TH-cam. Bravo
I feel like it's easier to be a children's enterianter nowadays and even socialise with kids because all the teen and adult socialising like clubbing is gone now...
@@gamermapper No it isn't. I went out this weekend both nights and the city was jam packed, the clubs booming. Don't listen to youtubers they are mostly depressed and isolationists by nature.
@@stoneneilslove to hear it
I've noticed a lot of gen Z TH-camrs have difficulty speaking in a smooth way. They talk like Christopher Walkin
This comment made me chuckle ,
Accents change over time
I have noticed their disjointed inflections in their tone as well. It makes it tricky to decipher what they're saying or what they're trying to convey. Times change I guess. My parents had the same issues with me
@user-zl1yq7qo1dThat’s… the point of the video
Is it perhaps just the fact she’s a new TH-camr & speaking into a microphone feels unnatural?
internet has made people more self aware at how lame listening to drake and drinking is compared to all the other interesting ways a human can spend time
Your lame
@@sovereignindividual2625 your probably an alcoholic
@@sovereignindividual2625Drake is a little bitch who comes from wealth but acts like He started from the "bottom" Guy acts tough but couldn't fight Bis way out of a paper bag
Bahahaha
i remember teens used to have more unity and general respect for each other. more down to earth. girls used to hang out with guys. now everything is segregated and sterile.
when my brother was a teen he was walking around at night with friends drinking, climbing on buildings, setting off crap, racing his car around, etc.
Clubbing is overrated tbh. I know it seems like gen z is missing out but you should just look for your own adventure
When I came to this video, I didn't expect it to be about clubbing. I've never even been to a club. I've been to lots of nightclubs to see bands. I played at lots of nightclubs in bands. I lived in a fraternity house that was basically a nightclub speakeasy. We had the same bands as the nightclubs and charged admission and sold beer. Two for a dollar! Then of course we had lots of raging House parties.
What the hell happened to you poor bastards? I know money is tight but you could definitely afford to put in for a keg or two. It's a rhetorical question. I know exactly what happened. The same reason no one plays music as much is the same reason y'all were driven into anti-sociality: the mind control device in your pocket. It's a damn shame.
I went a couple times in my early 20’s. Expensive, boring and gross. Never went back, not even bars- unless it’s a restaurant with a bar.
Not even clubbing just a third place to hang out that's not money driven
It wasn’t overrated 10/20 years ago. All the older people tell me it was literally the time of their lives. Imagine this: EVERYONE is dancing (man woman it doesn’t matter), no phones, entry fees are free before 12am, drinks are cheap, people used to actually dress up (not just wear the default gen z jeans and sneakers), the pop and hip hop music was made for the club/dancing. I’m so jealous lol
I just want to go dancing!!! Like dance in a crowd of people without worrying about someone trying to grope me every 10 seconds and paying 10000 bucks for cheap drinks or having to get groped by a promoter for some shots.
the adults who were supposed to preserve our country's prosperity for their children to inheret squandered it on their own hedonism. where they got to party, go to school, start careers at our age, our young adulthood is now going to be spent grappling with the reprecussions of their short sighted decision making. are we still "thinking of the children"?
We never did. We never, ever did. They treated us like accessories.
@@jooot_6850 fr i was born cause my mom wanted to have cute baby pictures
It’s really not the generation above as such that is the issue. They never had the power to pull the levers that control the economy and standard of living. They’re as much a pawn to the world as we all are, a generation below.
The true cohort that’s responsible for this are the oligarchs; the 0.001%ers that own 80% of the stock market along with the global financial, military and media system. They live in the shadows, masked by complex company structures and high-end legal wizardry, hence why they’re so elusive and hard to pinpoint the exact individuals.
They’re the only people who’ve had the power to change things, hence why the rich are getting richer and poor are getting poorer; it benefits them and adds to their power and control.
As a millennial I don't feel too different. Graduating during the financial crisis was a nightmare. I'm 38 now and didn't get a proper career until my 30s. Finally in a place where I can maybe buy a modest house.
@@noedelmanyou're not a Millennial you're generation X grandpa
Ah the club scene I remember that, Dark, Music (Bad Music) so loud you cant talk without yelling in someone's ear, Fights and getting so drunk you can barely function.I Don't miss it.
It’s not worth it. I’ve gone to the bars a few times to play pool and a time or two for karaoke with my friends in the Navy years ago but that’s as crazy as I got. I don’t drink so my soda drinks were always free.
I forgot about all the fights lol. They happened a lot
I grew up in the era when clubbing was still very popular and I'm not gonna lie, it was complete shit. It was all about binge drinking and killing your brain cells. That was your only option if you actually wanted "friends". And those friends were people you could never talk about any serious things with because, well, you were always drunk when you were together. Not worth it at all, this is without even getting into the drug use. The moment I decided to quit this lifestyle I suddenly lost contact with all those people overnight. And let's also not get into how common sexual harassment was (probably still is) in clubs. As a guy, I got groped and kissed without my consent on 3 different occasions. I can't imagine how many other women and men experienced even worse things. Clubs were really just places where it was normalized to act completely unhinged, both in a self-destructive way and in a way that's destructive towards others.
sounds unironically fun.
maybe you just had shit friends
Lol. This is why clubs are dying. Some girl touches your chest on the dance floor and you call it sexual assault.
Worlds filling up with nerds
It was fun 5% of the time, the rest was trying to make small talk with loud music, knowing that a lot of those people weren't there for you but just to have someone to go somewhere with and feeling like you were missing out, even when you were right there
Depends where you grew up. I grew up in Sydney born in 1975, and was lucky to be surrounded by live music in the 1980s-90s then EDM in the 90s on.
I can tell you it was amazing. The best live music scene in the world.
Now it is a ghost town filled with those that can afford to live here (rich foreigners and retirees)
Young people are moving out in droves.
Party culture has simply evolved into gym culture. All the classic gen Z and millennial clubbing songs have also been remixed into a genre called "hardstyle".
That's hilarious! Back in 2010 to 2014 I used to party hard! I also used to sell drugs. But now I'm in stupid shape, and I have six pack abs. I guess I'm following the trend LOL
Fair point, i think more young people care more about being fit and healthy than we did back in my day (80's and 90's). Plus cant afford to blow so much cash and alcohol and drugs like we could/did. But then again, there's the counter "body positivity" thing and people spend money on things like tattoos more than ever ^^;
@@NeighborhoodWatchMann LOL sameee.
Hardstyle id a genre I partied on 15 years ago.
This is very true the gym is literally the club now I train late on Fridays and the clubs are empty the gyms are packed
Xennial here. I moved to London when I was 19 from a small town. Yes, I did go clubbing a lot, but it was more for the music, not necessarily interaction, although there was a shared sense of camaraderie in our love for the music.
Our 'third spaces' were our homes. Almost everyone my age lived in a house-share. We would hang out, laugh, get high, have deep conversations and host get-togethers and parties. The properties were a bit seedy, but we made them our own. My deepest friendships that still persist to this day were all people I lived with, or met through them.
I can't speak for all of Gen-Z, but I think there are less people now living in those kinds of environments, certainly in London anyway. Rent back then was affordable, and there were loads of big old houses on the rental market with 5 or more bedrooms that made the perfect environment for people to live together and get to know one another. Now they've all been redeveloped and sold as studio flats or knocked down altogether. Rent now is prohibitively expensive for young people, so many live with parents, where homes just can't be third spaces anymore.
I live in a shitty, legally dubious warehouse room in Tottenham. Its freezing cold in winter, boiling in summer and leaks when it rains. However, moving here has been one of the best decisions of my life. We are always having parties. In summer, there are always people sat outside having a drink and a chat. Everyone knows each other; when I invite outside friends around, they are shocked at how many people I wave at or say hi to as we go down the street. If a neighbour is having a party, its totally ok to turn up uninvited. Noone is forsaking alcohol and narcotics for wellness/productivity, noone is spending their whole time at the parties taking selfies. I live above an illegal club and sometimes it keeps me awake at night, but other times I am down there.
@@AlG214 Yes! This is exactly what I'm talking about. I'm glad you've managed to find a community like this. These experiences will last you your whole life
really ? all my friends in London live in shared houses (but they do have good salaries as consultants/financiers). However, roomates are no longer really close to each other if they ever were.
It's an introverts world, and as someone who's never gotten along well with other people in our generation, I have zero problem not interacting with the rest of you.
I'm with you .I hate boomers except for maybe five gen x is assholes and the generation underneath me thinks I'm crazy so f all y'all .
As an extrovert, this one’s spitting facts.
It’s over for extroverts. Plain and simple.
How did you extroverts let this happen!? You’re supposed to be 80% of the population! We just wanted some piece and quiet away from all of you and you followed suit 😂
@@Anicca108 The top 1% are all extroverts and still have the means to socialise with each other.
Big Extrovert doesn’t care about Little Extrovert.
Good to see fellow Introverts who are speaking up about a Culture that's set up for Extroverts.
40 Year's Old and wish I had this information on Introverts when I was in Middle/High School
Geriatric millenial here. Every day I wake up and thank god that the internet was not really a thing yet during my formative years. I cannot imagine the dysfunctional mess of a person I'd be if my brain were being boiled by tablets and content algorithms straight out of the womb. It makes me legitimately fearful for the fate of future generations.
X2
Oh it’s over bro hahaha
Same. People talk down on clubbing but it was so much fun! Just dancing for hours with your friends. I always had a great time. It's sad to know Gen Z won't get the same experience. Clubbing was cheap when I was in college.
Future generations are going to be born into augmented reality technology with generative AI to generate fantasy worlds right in their rooms - they'll have AI robot companions like in Star Wars etc. Brain implanted microchips that can probably link to their eye vision with generative AI - I mean who needs the Apple Vision goggles just hook it up to your neural network.
same
dude i partied so fking hard from 2012-2018. so many amazing memories with friends & strangers. we were all just vibing so hard.
I'd learned during that era as well as now that human contact is unhealthy and that all humans are evil.
Where are those people nothing no where to be seen it was all pointless
Millennial here and I wouldn't take it back for anything. ❤ Everyone dancing and just having fun. Making friends, even for a short period of time to go on random adventures was amazing. Some people fell on tough roads but I stayed clear of the party hard weirdos and went home when I should have lol. Now my living room is a club and I dance by myself everyday lol. I think too many predators entered the arena and drinks got too expensive. Then the festivals became big and honestly, it was the social media obsession with festival piks that killed clubbing. Imo. People became obsessed with things other than having fun in their own town. At least in Florida that's what I saw. Then people got more awkward and judgemental. Now guys are scared to approach women in public places lol The world has gotten pretty dark. ❤😂
@@Tealaful I love dancing too, so fun!
Me too, turned 21 in 2012. We had the edm boom too that got everyone talking to Molly. Ppl I knew that weren't into partying were all of a sudden taking candy at shows. What a time.
The importante question is: who the f enjoys being surrounded by drunks?
drunks
Clubs/bars use to be fun and silly. Now people take their problems there and make problems with other people.
This is why you are Gen Z, you are the last of us to live what the past was like.
Gen Alpha will grow up in the post Agenda 2030 world.
This hits.. We can only wonder what "those in power” have up their sleeve for the near future….
It’s actually cause Gen X no one knew what to call them. Then gen Y came but renamed to millennials. Then Gen Z then Gen A(lpha)
holy shit
Born too early to be blissfully ignorant of the change, born too late to do much about it.
That whole culture was stinking, rotten garbage. The club and party scene, all about hookup culture and getting loaded on booze and nasty drugs. Completely shallow and empty, glamorizing self-destructive behavior. We need better than that.
true
Ok,Joe Biden 😂😂
Getting loaded on booze and drugs then getting laid sounds like a great night to me. Add some wicked tunes in there and we flyin.
@@AlG214 If it wasn't fun, people wouldn't do it.
This
What also really made me hesitant to club is how unsafe it has gotten. When I first went to uni, everyone was quite chill, obviously there'd be a fight every now and then but it didn't go much further than a bloody nose or a black eye. Nowadays the same area turned into absolute nightmare, police carrying open weapons on horses, it's packed, everyone is on edge, every night you can hear people getting carried away by ambulance, a bunch of stabbings here, brass knuckles there, I've had friends being kidnapped, it has become incredibly unsafe. This way it's not fun anymore and people start to associate clubbing more with a liability rather than something fun. I understand why it has gotten quite unsafe, but there's nothing really we can do about it anymore for now.
People more often now just meet at eachothers place, it's still fun but not as social anymore since you barely get in touch with people from outside your circle now. You're less exposed to others so you become more lonely.
It sucks, it really does, I really miss my first years of uni, I never expected the situation could flip in as little as a decade. I had to do a couple extra first year major courses to get my master's. Empty lecture rooms, everyone with laptops out, scrolling through social media rather than taking notes. Poor communication in group work, a lot of slacking and a "high" workload despite courses keep scrapping material to keep grades at a reasonable level. I'm glad I'm almost done, and I'm lucky working part-time with almost exclusively gen x-ers and a couple babyboomers. I'm really going to miss them when they retire, most of my social contact is with them and it keeps me going. Without them idk how my mental shape would've been.
If you can't go to Bella Noche, where the h e l l can you go?
This is one of the best descriptions I’ve ever heard. I had the same experience at uni. I went to the big frat Christmas party, but it was just off. Like, everyone was in a corner with their friend group.
Life is just so weird now.
You're describing the very worst clubs. Violent places catering to a rachet crowd. Most I went to back in then 80s and 90s were nothing like that. I'm gen-X and cherish my club and bar hopping memories. Really sucks I can't do that stuff anymore.
I went to a party ran by bloods up in Syracuse and my buddy accidently turned the light off by bumping into it. One of the gang members throwing the party got mad and asked my buddy and I to get him a beer, hinting at the idea we owed them and that we better get the beer to not cause any trouble. We weren't scared of them as our group had more guys and a few stray cats of our own that can handle a scuffle. Later on in the night I was alone inside as my friend's waited for me outside the party. The two thugs that asked me for the beer asked me what happened and got in my face about it. This guy had about four inches and eighty pounds on me but so does my older brother. He said "Come on, im gonna rough u up outside". I simply stared into his eyes with this sadistic grin because I had ten of my boys right outside the door. He responded "I'm just joking" and left me alone. I could of gotten stabbed or something that night looking back...
Diversity is our strength... you know. I had the same experience. It was super safe here once. A bloody nose was almost the only thing you had to worry about. But since it got much more colorful people got robbed, stabbed and graped regularly. Me getting too old for clubbing and the new arrivers enriching the nightlife happened at the same time. I can only imagine how it is today. During my last days you always had to look out for your stuff and who is possibly waiting for you when you're drunk on your way home. Police was patrolling nightlife areas. That was never necessary before.
My sister has two gen z living at home and they literally do nothing. No jobs, no school, not in training of any sort , dont drive( don’t even want to drive ) , don’t party..they sit and doom scroll all day . They have done nothing …at all .
Did she raise and guide them through high school about their futures not to mention teach them from an early age about contributing to household chores and things like that
wow
@@monkiesbanana321 to busy being a friend . They will literally sit and watch my sister do all the chores . Including mow the lawn .
Partying is not a big deal, besides partying is not as common as it used to be look at American teens and young adults they don’t do that anymore but at least have a car drive go to school get a job and do something
i’m gen z and that’s just us lol!!! and weed !!!
It died at astroworld 2021. The iconic footage of gen z fleeing from themselves marked the end of an era, when they realized they didnt know how to mosh in a non-lethal way, and didnt want to perish to the sound of some arrogant jerks shouting about how great they are 💀
Most of the world didn't get what happened at astroworld.
I think the facility was to blame also. The artist should also encourage the crowd ro be safe.
Bro makes absolutely NO sense 🗣️🗣️🗣️
The crowds that these artists attract have basically zero comradery & fellowship for one another, and it took a body count for these kids to understand why that might be problematic. Who wants to go clubbing to music that reminds them of this?
Wu Tang rolling in their grave 💀
LOL, it died as soon as commercial EDM became a thing in the early 2010s.
Im 27, i caught the tail end of the party era while in college right before the pandemic
Pandemic ruined so many things
You can still go out partying where's the problem?
@@Ukri1 jabbed npcs
@@moto3463 now almost everyone's jabbed so
I'm a 45-year-old Japanese. In the 90s and 00s, I used to frequent go to clubs in Tokyo. I loved techno and house parties. But now it's 2024. I don't go to clubs or raves anymore. Because of the birth of SNS. Nowadays I listen to DJ mixes on TH-cam or Sound Cloud.
I was in Japan 11-13 and loved partying every where from Oki To Rompangi!
Time was different clubs in Tokyo will close down
Because there are no clubs or raves in 2024
Millennial here. Born in 88. I also fault (or credit, actually) wellness culture. My friends and I don’t drink (or have a glass of red wine rarely), wake up early, exercise, prefer being outdoors during the day than up all night. Was never into clubbing…can’t party all night if you wake up at 5am for a run
Born in 88 too. This comment is accurate.
Born in 1990 and I agree with you.
Born in 93 and you guys are pusssiesssss let’s live life and dance and make connections!!
Im so grateful that I spent many weekends of no/little sleep and lots of work. Im ALIVE.
@@TheSunshineGroup Rum lad
Born in 83 and spent my twenties raving and DJing at illegal raves. Your life sounds incredibly depressing to me. I’m chilled out now but I enjoy a drink and still smoke and live on a boat off grid. You should let loose a bit, in todays world why would you even want to live a long healthy life? I don’t want to live til extremely old age, they’ve put my retirement up age up to 71 (wtf). Is that what I’m supposed to stay healthy for?
It's a least $100 to go out to the club. I rather go to a nice bar or restaurant with some friends.
You don't have friends.
Nightclub by my house is $12 entry (free before 11pm)
Drinks cost $7-15
Friends can carpool or split uber.
RESTAURANTS are the expensive spots lmao we accidentally spent like 250 dollars at this Mexican restaurant just ordering tacos and margaritas lmfao it was a total ripoff and the service was horrible and they wanted a $60 tip
@@Jaymo00you guys have it hard 😭 why everything is so insanely expensive in the us, where I live 100$ can feed me and 3 of my friends and we would have more left for dessert or go to the cinema afterwards.
Gen z parties are a few people sitting together in silence with their face buried in their phones. Sound fun?
If someone would actually care about me i would probably put my phone down. Sadly im just an average man and thats not enough.
Really? God that sounds awful. You are not believe the outrageous parties we had in the '80s and 90s. What you see in the movies is often exaggerated... but not always. Life was a lot better back then, and it's not because of money. Gen z has enough to party at home. Gen z could have their friends play in a band at a party. I just don't think there are very many bands. Smartphones are poison. I really feel bad for you all.
@@tuinov6286 Stop drowning in selfpity
@@theminister1154 dude, i'm the only one in my friend group that doesn't carry a phone when hanging out. You don't know how frustrating is to hang out with friends, talk to them and they make no eye contact with you, they are using their phones while "talking" to you. It's annoying, that's why i'm not as enthusiastic about hanging out with my friends as i used to.
I miss when cell phones just had call/text, nothing else.
This is incredibly well thought out. You hit the nail on the head when you mention “a loss of a third space” as so many people use technology as a third space. One guy in my neighborhood is great and has a campfire in his backyard every Thursday and tells the neighborhood all are welcome to hang out and BYOB. We need more community-based thinking like that! Pubs were originally the “publick house” for all things including political discussion.
People need to support third spaces. With that, they need to learn street smarts and common sense (can be learned on youtube), don't go to dangerous areas, don't talk to strangers, listen to your gut. A person should learn how to defend themselves (martial arts). Even martial arts and other sports classes would be beneficial for y'all! Church is cool, too. I attend all kinds of small events.
@@free-the-whales dog i am a proponent of self defense but im not gonna carry a compact if i just want to go on a date
@@thecoolestofthe834s2 martial arts is defense
@@free-the-whales yeah that dont cuti t no more you were tlaking about weapons earlier
@@thecoolestofthe834s2 No I wasn't. You're lying wtf 😂 sociopath
This is really insightful, I work in the events industry (for a nightclub in Bristol, UK specifically) and I’ve personally been here for 5 years. The pandemic was truly the nail in the coffin as you stated. This conversation/information needs to be spread!
“I have three different romantic partners.” Sis, and you wonder why you’re lonely…
Just an example of another damaged gay man that thinks an open relationship is going to fix his childhood trauma 💀
*Bro
true. yikes.
the paradox of choice and freedom
Hahahaha i laughed at this
3 Different romantic partners??? Maybe thats why you feel lonely that is NOT normal.
Yeah, that's what I was thinking. If you're sleeping with three other people, you don't really care about any of the three - that's not how bonding works. Thus the loneliness.
Nothing about that thing seemed remotely normal 😳
I assumed he was speaking of polyamory.
@@tariqshabazz6592 yeah and no way you will find love in polyamory
I know polyamorous people and I can tell that they're actually content with it. And this is, because they live in an environment where this is accepted, so that they do not have to fear the loss of social attachment.
As someone, who has never been in a relationship, I realize that confidence in one's own sexuality relies just as much on the valuation by your community through share of experiences than on the experience itself (or the lack thereof). Sexuality is often used as one of the core instruments for integration and social recognition. This is also why shaming sexually deviant people (polyamorous, bisexuals, incels etc.) can be so disastrous for their mental health. It enfosters the idea of getting expelled from the "tribe".
Im a zellineial, i haven't had six close friends since 2006, lol. Unless you count the people I used to get high with. As an introvert, doing drugs was a hobby that people connected over. I assume casual sex is the same way, i wouldnt know. Life is better without those things, though. Low quality people can easily find company.
I never did the club thing or drank much. A lot of people still go out for drinks still, but that seems like huge waste of money. It's dangerous too, to go for casual drinks people usually want to drive home.
My gen z friend says club culture is dead because nobody wants to be caught on video looking stupid. People still go, but they pay for the booth and just try to look cool and rich instead of getting wild.
I never saw the appeal in the 2000s-2010s party culture. Getting drunk and hooking up shouldn't be glamourized. I didnt go to college so also didnt experience that.
People are lonely because of hook up culture and dating aps for sure. Ive been with my husband for half my life. Even when i had no friends i was never lonely. The guy in the video said he has three partners and wonders why hes still lonely. Its because you cant have a real relationship with multiple people. With p0rn cululture and Ig and OF nobody has a real relationship because they are either cheating, nor committed, or they know they dont have to cinnect because they have a thousand options. People think hooking up will connect them but it makes them lonely because they give their bodies to someone who doesn't care about them.
I see the appeal in third places, but as an introvert i cant enjoy them. Id rather take my food or coffee to go, it just feels silly to spend time somewhere for no reason. Shows like cheers or friends had the bar of coffee shop as the pinnacle of socialization. Social media definitely made that unnecessary. We still have have those places available though. Its definitely not a place to foster mew relationships though (would be weird to try and connect with a stranger).
I dont have an answer for lonely people or for society. I have heard potter's guilds, sports clubs, etc. are cool places.
Work is the easiest place to connect with people, but be warned, coworkers are not real friends. 99% of the time they will betray you or forget about you.
A lot of interesting points! I will have to say as an introvert myself, I used to not understand third places either. But I think the magic is in continually showing up to these places to establish connection (easy to say, hard to do) That's why places like clubs (hobby clubs)* work so well. But most people want to conserve energy, so staying home is definitely easier and more comfortable.
@@emswildworld if someone were looking to date, I would imagine that hobby clubs would be the perfect place as well!
@@emswildworld I have a couple of interests/hobbies like Chess, Kayaking, now Sailing and I kinda gave up at socializing at hobby clubs, because there are only Gen Xers or Boomers there. It's so frustrating.
I did the going out drinking every week thing back in 2016 out of peer pressure from a housemate and it wasn't good. I might as well have been flushing my money down the toilet and I ended up with the early stages of drinker's nose because of it, which are still visible to this day. In short, you weren't missing anything.
I approve this comment.
Elder millennial, attended college during that peak time and worked clubs as security: There's...a lot to unpack here, but I'll try to keep it concise...
1) Millennials were also 'sold' on partying being the thing you did to meet people (I point to late 90's and early 00's MTV reality TV and the aggrandizing of Spring Break). Have fun, let loose, etc. As we all know, this was problematic - R* culture, violence in clubs, and the rise of accountability by way of phones/photos/videos was a recipe for disaster. I think MeToo did a lot of damage (rightly so) to the party culture.
2) Those who didn't go to clubs spent their time in school, at work, church, volunteering, all with arguably better chance to meet someone. Third places have been eroding for decades: Skating banned, teens and 20-somethings getting kicked out of public or nigh-public places for 'loitering'. All these spaces have been further privatized and commodified.
3) Many of the financial/economic reasons I see cited in the comments...I tend to point toward "hustle culture." This is the rise of gig work, Room and property rentals, and decades of de-regulation coupled with governments with no idea what the problem is, let alone how to fix it, let alone with the will to actually fix it. So many services that had at one time been viewed as more of a public good are run by venture capitalists and the like - pump and dump schemes and ponzy schemes galore, and where those aren't present, massive algorithms will optimize pricing down to the penny for everything. Is there even such a thing as "disposable income" anymore?
90% of that is irrational fear.
Three romantic partners and lonely ????? That's dark
It's because "polyamorous" relationships are just people not genuinely connecting with each other and instead just using each other for whatever their best use is and collecting people like they're funko pops.
You're with A because the sex is great and you're with B because they're really thoughtful and you're with C because they're the most fun to go on dates with and now you have 3 empty transactional relationships when you could've had one true relationship with any of those people.
I’m 38 and when I was in my early twenties I loved the club. It was so carefree and fun and ppl talked to each other and it was such a vibe. It was cheap too lol. It’s really sad to see that the young folks today don’t get to experience it the way we did.
Clubs are more dangerous now, expensive and people are just more violent as well. Where im from, theres always a stabbing, someone going to the hospital, or getting jumped. This just wasnt that common back then. Bars however are still great, tho depends on the location, more isolated places means the bar is great, in my opinion.
If dating apps had existed back in the dark ages when I was a young adult, the man who was the love of my life for over 40 years, my late husband, would never have gotten my attention. I liked a totally different type. But meeting him in person was a whole different ballgame-his charisma was overwhelming. He was a grown man, not a long-haired rocker guy-my “type”. His utter self-confidence and belief in himself, who he was and what he believed in was an unexpected attraction. I don’t think these qualities could have come across on an app, especially with me thinking I preferred the long haired rocker guys.
I think most women know this and feel this way, but their egos are just so huge they refuse to accept any man who doesn’t fit their exact perfect ideal archetype
@@APsGTG egos big for no reason lmao - a lady
@@APsGTG The big ego is also a symptom of the dating app. You get a ridiculously inflated sense of self worth when you have 5000+++ guys messaging you looking for your attention/expressing interest.
@@282XVL it’s crazy though because these guys just want them for 🛏️ time, nothing more.
It’s like a dude having a big ego because he has a bunch of girls who want him to send them $50 each 😂🤦♂️
I used phone dating in the 80s and 90s..it was great..you knew you got along from talking for hours..then it was all a matter of were they cute enough..and we had NO idea..no computers...no digital cameras..no email..nothing. It was blind date after blind date....but all you liked as people beforehand. I took the women to raves!! Many got scared and bailed but a few turned into long term.
Partying was a millennial thing, we’re hitting 30 now. 2009-2013 were the best years.I feel bad for gen z they’ll never experience what we did
Elite those are my favorite years
Younger generations are missing out on parties because you have to be off your phone long enough to have real world friends before you can all have a party.
Stop being needy and find happiness in yourself
Its easy for you because you are a woman.
@@donovannewman8462sounds like you’re encouraging isolation 🤨 it’s not about being needy. Humans are social creatures and we feel/do better when we’re able to connect. Younger generations don’t know how to connect to people in the real world
@gitchygitchyyaya Well actually I'm not encouraging isolation. You all are here complaining that people are not engaging with you or giving their attention like you have some inalienable right to it.a right to it. If someone talks to you then fine, if they don't that is fine as well. And humans are not social creatures we don't need it. Some of you are just scared of keeping your own company and are too much of social butterflies. If you as a grown adult is going to have a mental breakdown because of it then you all need to check yourselves. What the younger generation does or doesn't do is of no concern to older generations and vice versa. Stop being entitled and needy!
Oh look I found the boomer @elegantrebel
To some degree i disagree with technology for being the reason for loneliness. For me personally the reason i think loneliness is quite common is due to the sort of societal culture that we have developed. Nowadays its far too common that you arrange something with friends or you seek some help with something from friends and they just cancel on you in the very last minute, or dont even bother to say anything until 2 day after your arrangements. Dont get me wrong i understand if there is a dire emergency and someone cant make it but most of the time its not an emergency and just some half assed excuse. Sadly this is something i have experienced far too many times with bunch of different people and Its just discouraged me from wanting to meet new people, waste my time, energy and money trying to develop a friendship/relationship only to be repeatedly disappointed by them
I'm a 32 year old millennial and i've always hated the clurb. Too loud, can't hear what anyone is saying so conversation is all small talk, people being drunk and stupid, everything is expensive etc. If i'm going to hang out with friends i'd rather get dinner, play some board games or video games and chill, or make some music.
Very glad I got to skip the dating app world, it sounds so toxic. Met my wife at my first job when I was 18 and a senior in high school. Back then online dating wasn't as popular, and even kind of taboo, and I don't think any of the dating apps were around then.
"i have 3 romantic partners"
yeah that's why youre alone. No commitment = commodification of relationships. Thats not how humans are meant to function.
💯
I grew up going to parties and bar hopping. You’re not missing out on much. You don’t need to supplement isolation with living a drunken lifestyle. I hope the younger generations start meeting up again but in more sober and meaningful concepts. Adding alcohol and drugs to the mix equals nothing but acting like a fool and making bad decisions.
Eliminating inhibitions actually works though
Now single women are just begging to be a part of a rich guys harem
Drinking drunk party's were a lot better than what we have now
Exactly! 🙌🏽
that's part of human civilization. sorry you don't fit in, but don't pretend humanity is too good for partying.
Bad decisions or frozen unable to make any decisions, I have a 🍆 and so I didn't have a choice. Might still not have a choice, hard to face endless rejection with smex sprinkled in between and so alcohol makes your brain stupid and uninhibited so you can make the dumb choice to chase women.
I never found my wife im single,and so sober didn't make a difference! Sobriety doesn't solve anything it just made life boring. Now if you'll excuse me I'm gonna go smoke a joint and drink some wine here at 9am
Good day sir
@@hemlocktea6643 Uhh…okay. I have no problem getting women or sober or drunk but I will agree it’s hard to find one worth settling for lol
Im an older zoomer and on my first Club experiences I remember being lowkey horrified, thinking “This is supposed to be peak social occasion/interaction?”
I think it's what they called "third places" - you have your home, you have your work. But everything else has been turned into streets and roads, no parks to hang around with friends etc. That's a part of it
That varies a lot in different places, no? In my city there are several nice parks where many come to walk, run, sit on benches.
The clubs in my area are a joke. Go to a dance floor and people are STANDING around, doing nothing, or staring at their phones.
I think one of the main social issues both generations are going to have to overcome-Generation Z and Millennials-are some of the chronically online behaviors that potentially spill out into the real world. We're talking about small things that-while holding absolutely no weight in the real world-regularly begin miniature wars online.
Because so many people under 40 years old are now "trained" to view their online spaces and subcultures as "real"-which they are, in their way-I see more and more people partaking in real-world discourse over things that eight years prior, you might have only found being discussed on Twitter.
Everything from "I don't like the [extremely ignorant] rapper you like," to "I don't like that you want to see these two [entirely fictional] characters kiss," is enough to put people in the physical world at odds with one another. Let alone the younger generations' outspoken (perhaps radicalized?) political interests, which is one of the oldest socially dividing factors in human history.
I feel like, for these third spaces to work, people are going to have to completely relearn what social decorum is, and that includes keeping "passionate" thoughts to yourself: which leads us back to feelings of isolation all over again.
And in learning to "keep things to ourselves", doesn't that sort of lead us all back to where our Baby Boomer/Generation X parents began, on a social level? The idea that there are "some things" one doesn't speak about in public, and by "some things," what we really mean in the aforementioned cases is: anything with more depth than "the weather".
I'm definitely not arguing against any of the points you made! Just adding some additional food for thought.
I'd love to see us all get off of our phones/tablets/PCs and into third spaces again.
I'm just wondering if, in our collective states of being chronically online-often in a socially aggressive way-we can ever hope to see a true return to building physical communities without feeling as though we're swallowing half of our feelings, having social outbursts over fictional content, or over people who literally do not even know we exist.
Considering you're probably speaking about US... When the free third spaces are basically non existent and the world living through economic crisis, we cannot expect the massive return of real connections. It's like okay, you get off your phones and do what? Even good old driving around is not an option with those gas prices.
I agree; I see a lot of online behavior bleeding over into real life. Likewise, I think it's also going to be a learning curve understanding how to act online. Maybe it will be an evolving process learning how to weave in both online and in person interactions healthily.
Women are 304s.
Yep, and that’s why I highly doubt it’ll happen. These people have been raised to behave in this weird social manner, and it’s only increasing. Then consider the kids growing up online, who spent 3 years without regular schooling, scrolling through social media all day. This is how people are and how they’ve become, they can’t socialise like every other generation of humans before them did.
And they’re too prideful to change too. Never have I seen so many people obsessed with looking “cool”, and not in the fun way, but in the “I’m above you and everyone else” way. These modern people don’t see it, but they are strange, and they think it’s how they should be.
@@APsGTGThat’s definitely the gist of it, but culturally a lot of the West is just fractured. I used to consider myself pretty open minded, but the last 5 or so years has made me pretty intolerant and just being honest - especially after Covid, how vicious people and even family got, I don’t really see that changing. And it’s for so many differing things, not just politics. I’ve legit sabotaged early friendships because they had an opinion or view on something I really didn’t like, and I’m sure it’s been done back to me as well. I don’t think these cultural divides can be fixed anymore.
I’m 22 & never been to a club & honestly have no desire to ever go to one. Every time I tell people I never been clubbing they can’t believe it lol. I only ever been to bars & seeing how rowdy people can get from drinking makes me want to go to clubs less & less.
You’re not missing anything. I prefer bars personally, they’re more chill, but I’m picky about the atmosphere of where I’m hanging out
The drinks are watered down and cost a lot.
Drunk people are NOT fun to be around. lol
That’s so sad.
Very, very, very smart… surrounded by sloppy drunk, out of control people, often times one’s who become extremely violent if anyone says something they don’t like / someone accidentally walks too close to them. REAL clubbing is not the Disney portrayal movies give off
Born in 1995 I remember early 2010s everyone in highschool was talking about clubbing every weekend. I always felt like an outcast because I hated alcohol and clubbing.
Same, except I'm 10 years younger than you.
You will regret not doing that. Born in 1995 too
@@YOCOSMINMAX16 I am 26, never went to those parties, never been drunk. I don't regret anything but plenty of people who were in the party scene has MANY REGRETS.
Are we gen z??
I’m the same age as you, where are you living where 16 year olds can go clubbing every weekend?
People celebrated life back then. Future seemed more optimistic. Nothing to celebrate now
I kinda miss the old pre pandemic party days going downtown or to the beach it was a different vibe. Now a days there is just something missing and a lot of the coolest places have been replaced or closed down. I feel like nature activities have become more popular or maybe I’m just older.
I can only speak for the UK, but they were already on their way out before the pandemic over here. I went to pubs in 2019 and the atmosphere was dead. Tried sparking up a conversation with the bar staff, but I could tell they weren't interested and were basically forcing themselves to converse with me. Honestly, the whole vibe of society has been off since the start of 2017 if you ask me. There was a shift in the mood and things haven't been the same since.
@@LifeofBrad1Maybe you are just too needy....people don't owe you anything not even a conversation
@@donovannewman8462 Ok. I'll make sure to sit in complete silence if I ever go to a pub again 🙂
@@donovannewman8462twat
I graduated high school in 2019. At the tale end of the era.
Clubs are meant for meeting on a deeper level, balls deep. Lmao
And the stds make the connection unforgettable
😆😆😆🤣😂
Very unforgettable.
When you said "A third community" i thought about my pinball club and then you cut to the clip of pinball. Made me smile.
To be honest with you guys, and gals. I spent a lot time clubbing in my younger years.... I regret every minute of it.
I grew up with millenial parents, my dad watched a ton of those party movies back in the day and I honestly never pictured myself getting black out drunk, throwing up, inflating sex dolls, having sex in someone else's room, and then waking up with a hangover... Did not appeal to me at all.
Im 40. When I was a teenager there were a lot of youth sub cultures centered around interests, class and background, music etc.
At school I was very much a loner, and a bit of a shy kid. In my teens I started listening to punk and metal music, and started going to a local rock club and found my tribe. I had found a social circle of like minded people.
I've also been into videogames since i was 3. I started working at a video game shop in my 20s and there i found another tribe (gamers/nerds/alternatives)
You could look at people back then, the way they dress, talk, walk, what they are into - you could IDENTIFY with other people - without knowing them at all you knew you had something in common.
But tribalism has somewhat died with the advent and rise of the internet.
We are post everything. An amalgamation of all the tribes, and as such, we are not as strongly comnected to certain individuals as we once were.
The closest things we have to youth sub culture now is sharing the same political ideologies. Even gymbros arent a subculture anymore, everyone goes to the gym now.
There are online subcultures but they dont help you identify each other out in public.
My girlfriend is younger than me, and despite being a genuinely lovely, smart, considerate, funny, honest and compassionate person - she does not have a single person to call a friend except me and i find this so shocking - but its actually not that uncommon or unusual now.
It's really sad. And it's happening to adults as well as kids and its going to get worse.
Ironically, connecticivity is driving us apart.
If you have or find real people you like who want to be your friends, cling on to them dearly and work at maintaining those relationships.
I'll never forget the sixties.
1968 seemed like a party that continued every day.
I don't mean to be flippant. I'm just saying it was an entirely different world, with entirely different sorts of people, who were much more social. And there were regularly parties in or at people's houses. There were adults having cocktail parties after work at houses along the block. At nearly every time of the day, there were children playing in yards and running around in the street. Everybody had company picnics, back yard barbecues, and block parties.
People pursued hobbies that ended at parties. For instance the rally club would be out in their cars all day and they would meet at the end of the day for a party. People had a party at the country club after they played golf. When you were on the road, you could stop at places where there seemed to be a party going on all the time - like at rest stops.
The lack of third places is part of the problem, but it was something else.
There was social trust.
People could trust most people to behave themselves.
It wasn't just parents who watched over kids, most adults seemed to feel a responsibility to watch over kids, so strangers would scold a kid who was getting out of line.
"Hey, you kids, cut that out!"
"Hey kid, what are you doing?"
Parents at a rest stop on the highway would let their kids run wild with all the other kids at the rest stop, and none felt like they needed to watch the kids all the time.
Research social trust a little - it's a real thing, and it influences the social development of children, producing very different kinds of people.
I'm struck by how different people are now when I tell a great niece or nephew there are kids playing outside, why doesn't he or she go out and play with them. I was a lot younger than they were when I would go out just looking for other kids to play with. At the age of four, when I moved in to the neighborhood I grew up in, I went down the block, knocking on every door and asking whoever answered if there were any children I could play with in the house. They thought it was a little freaky that I was alone, and they kept asking me where my mother was, but it was a thing I could do back then. And as I got older and got a bike, I ranged farther and farther and sought out other kids up to miles in any direction from my home and all the way into Chicago.
There were people like me who just went everywhere to meet everyone, just for fun.
But these days, the kids won't go outside and play, and they act like they would rather die than go join a bunch of kids playing down the block.
They are housebound, indoor cats - shy and picky about everything.
And there were fights, lots of fights.
I think it was the introduction of fluoride to the water supply that dampened people's spirits.
Kids were passionate - I don't mean about sex, I mean about life and competition and stunts, and it was like they were living the ancient myths in their daily runs around the neighborhood, their encounters with strangers, their very physical triumphs and tragedies, and their daring exploits. They would dare one another to do some exploit and drive one another to greater exploits and adventures, and share the results with amusement. It seemed like everybody was always doing something, like taking turns walking around on stilts, and then someone would say: "Hey lets go see who's hanging out in the park today!" There might even be a bonfire, often there were kids around a bonfire by the tracks, under the highway overpass, or in the woods.
These stories are great!! BTW how old are you? My dad was born in 1968 lmao
I think the lack of social trust is the key, key factor in the loss of that.
When i was in highschool and graduating 2011, house parties were everywhere we were always hittin up a house party on the weekend
2011 was the last year for house parties to happen
@@albihysenaj5997 apparently, i noticed they died out around 2014 in my area and friends
Chalked it up to us getting older but apparently its a thing of the past which is sad because for better or worse they were an experience
late to the 'party, pun intented but damn spot on. my last house party I went to was on new years eve 2014. countless of house parties before
The main reason today is the smartphone. Why go out when you have an entertainment/dopamine fix in your hand..and it costs you no effort. It's the comfort and ease of use.
But it started before then. The first mobile phones in the early 2000's, the younger generation were glued to them also with SMS (texting)
The social interaction decline has been going on since PC, Televison and mobiles have come into our lives.
It's all these screens that have brought our attention away.
Let's be honest, bars just have lower quality people looking for simple things. Not a way a lot of people, especially introverts, connect with others. I have had multiple "partiers" admit to me their alcoholism problem isn't a net benefit. One of them even had kidney problems after getting wasted.
Extrovert here. It’s hard for us too. Half of the people in those places are just coping HARD.
I’ve had multiple women admit that the booze is just “self-medication” for anxiety and that they actually do want deeper connections. Still couldn’t befriend any of them because they weren’t ready to give up the drink + lack of third spaces that don’t involve alcohol 🤦🏻♀️
@@Suwako__Moriya They will also tell you alcohol is a drug. Once I had someone tell me pot wasn't a drug too. Why is drug such a stigma, anyway? Dumb.
@@sid655 Deep down, they know they’re nothing but a filthy addict but don’t want to admit it - not even to themselves.
I just want a nice cave with internet access, a laptop that can sustain games up to 2016 and running water.. Leaving society behind would be a dream
litterally my life right now
Gen Z and especially Gen Alpha will be the innovative generations to create these third spaces. We are already starting to figure it out. There is money to be made by starting these third spaces - hobby centers, as you called them. And no, you wouldn’t have to charge too much to operate them. The thing is, it’s not that Gen Z (and even speaking for myself, a 32 yr old millennial) don’t have the money to pay for these toxic spaces like clubs and bars. It’s that we are healthier generations that learned what not to do from their parents and elders. Also, the internet shows us where addiction gets us. More and more of us are turning to an alcohol-free or sober life every single day, even at the expense of being isolated in our homes. It stands that we are lonely and we are desperate for connection. Although we don’t have as much money as we wish we did (thank you inflation), it’s not that we are entirely broke. We just have to prioritize our health first, even at the expense of loneliness. I do think it would be extremely lucrative (in a declining employment market) for more Gen z and Gen alpha folks to use those beautiful minds to create more third spaces. ❤
I think we're headed for that as well. If there's a problem, in time, there will be a solution (based on how the market normally works). I saw that too that Gen Z is reported to drink less alcohol than the previous generations. Interesting stuff!
these hobby centres, what would you do there? thats the big question
@@Hartweizengriesspudding Typical woman stuff, you know cheating, sleeping around with the best looking guy then crying loneliness on the internet while having a different man every week😂
If there was a market for these third spaces, what would the revenue come from? Who do you see right now with disposable income ?
Gen Z/ alpha don’t even know where countries are. How are they gonna create better things than the previous generation 😂
As an introvert, parties were always miserable. Music too loud, too many people, social anxiety 😅 I don't mind them as much now, but I would rather chill at my house, maybe have some close friends over, and have a better time
Nah, I just wear earplugs and it becomes 200% better.
@@johngddr5288 That changes nothing 😅 Would still have issue hearing others, and I'm not wearing ear plugs to a party
@@kylespevak6781 Not for me. Earplugs block off the noise of the music and lets you actually hear human voices from the filter. I am and have worn them cause I don't wanna get worse tinnitus from not using them.
@@johngddr5288 If I have to use something to exist there closer to how I want, it's not fun.
I'm not going to try and make unappealing things better, I'm trying to do appealing things. Still don't know what I'm missing at a party or club that I can't do 10x better at home.
@@kylespevak6781 Oh im not saying I go to parties. Was just trying to suggest what to do for the noise. My family has a ton of parties I'm obligated to go on my days off so I do that.
Six close friends? Lol. I couldn't even imagine that.
As for parties though, I've never been to one. As a kid, that seemed to be a thing the older kids did, and my parents did, and so on. Those my age who do drink seem to do so privately or to celebrate something in their life, and the kind of social alcoholism I've seen almost every old man in my town be experienced with is something I haven't seen in this generation.
I should mention though that I was too poor to complete college, and though I got put in there early while I was still in high school due to my academic achievements, I couldn't return since covid kicked me out. As such, if I ever could go back to college, the last thing I would do is get no sleep and get drunk and party like a clown; if I had another chance to go to college, I wouldn't get another.
You have a good head on your shoulders. ❤
I’m 37, and even in high school my ideal Friday or Saturday night was getting a pizza and spending it in front of the tv. I haven’t changed much since then in that regard, so I welcome this age of introverts.
Yeah my life hasn’t shifted much either as a result of the isolation age. I’ve been learning to be alone since 2005 when I started online highschool. It’s interesting seeing the rest of the world transition to an introvert’s life. It’s not easy if you aren’t built for it.
I am a millennial and I don’t own a tv, I don’t watch tv anymore , it’s been so many years… why don’t you like going out with real people, friends?
@@FoundSheep-AN going out? If by that, you mean going out in my backyard to barbecue, tend to my garden or roast marshmallows over a fire, yes I do that.
Me too.
@@FoundSheep-AN like many others I have no interest in being around people who:
Hate me for who I am.
Hate me for what I look like.
Hate me for how I dance.
Hate me for a perceieved level of wealth greater than or less tha. most - usually based on how I dressed.
Hate me for supporting the patriarchy.
Hate me for not picking up the tab not just on a date but for a cackle of hens in a club, because I'm a "man", or perceived to be a man.
Hate me enough to claim SH just for approaching at a club.
It seems the only option is to walk away, refuse to engage in activities, and save my money at least until I can leave for an uninhabited island and die.
Well i guess people drugging peoples drink, murders, fights, stds, hoeing around not just women, getting sick, feeling void of emotion why go clubbing or partying when theres no benefits i can see in them
I mean if you only look at extremely negative examples then yeah it sounds horrible lmfao. But theres plenty of fun memories, adventures, silly times and absolutely fascinating people you can meet if you go to parties. You just need a good group of friends and be safe of course!
Now use that logic for driving a car or walking outside the street
@@mobiusraptor7 Ok sure, its not for everybody. People have different interests & hobbies. U can have fun in many diff ways with diff group of friends. I agree with you. Gym & range is fun too! :)
@@mobiusraptor7 so you don't like it good for you. stop acting like everyone who does is some demonic heathen. it's been part of human life for all of civilization.
Clubs need men’s money, men used to go to clubs for women, women started ignoring men at clubs, men stopped going to clubs
I hate bars and clubs. I dont understand the appeal. You're just getting drunk amd stamding around with a bunch of strangers listeming to shitty music. Plus alcohol just makes me wanna revert back into myself. I hwve family who try to take me out so i can meet someoke but im not interested in anyone who is at the club or bar.
I'm turning 30 soon and live in a small village. We have a few partys a year around here. You know, summer festival, fall festival... The old people party the hardest. They dance, they drink, they sing. It's lovely and my husband and I love doing the same. Don't miss out, loves.
Clubs are overrated but as a 37-year-old I did have some really good times that I don't think I would have had if I was born later. Fact is, people are scared and willing to stay isolated because the news media has made everything seem like a threat and, also, I think culturally we're in a place where we're slowly growing out of the need to feel bubble wrapped all the time but that's going to take time. The pendulum has swung in that direction and it will swing back in the direction of people seeking thrills. We're just not there yet though.
will the pendulum swing back though? this is most prominently affected by technology/social media and it'll only get worse as time goes by. even shorter-attention spans, prices that don't seem to stabilize, reliance on subcultures and niche identifiers, nothing seems to point to the partying culture as we know it coming back
@@RKanth54 oh no we're all going to be flushed down to a giant technological toilet. So what happens when we, the pieces of s***, land in another dimension? Do you think we'll have a party then or do you think we'll have successfully held on to our smartphones the entire way down the pipes?
@@RKanth54 Yeah thrills will be had with augmented reality goggles where generative AI will create any world you want right in your bedroom. The "third place" will be there similar to the move "ready player 1"
That's what I think too. Ebbs and flows, comes and goes. Yin and Yang. Roaring 20s, to leave it to Beaver 40s and 50s, to the Crazy 60s, the Disco 70s, the wild 80s, and the dance techno 90s, and the crunk music early 2000s, i dont know about the 2010s-undefined, and the 2020s hmmmm, tiktok era maybe.
@@l2xsniper1 reject it
It wasn’t the pandemic which caused this mess - it was the lockdowns and the resulting inflation which made large towns and cities unaffordable.
3 different romantic partners? Wtf
typical for the lgbt
@@gdup1728 straights too
Gays are famous for that.
@@crackman8301 speaking from experience? Lmao
@@crackman8301 that you are speaking from experience?
Downgrade your smartphone, delete social media, stop consuming content, and don't hang out with online friends. Make isolation an inconvenience.
We are all addicts of very cheap entertainment. There technically was a smartphone in 2007….the 1st iPhone.
But the sociological phenomenon was slow to develop. Very few people had them from 2007 to 2010.
You were also very limited in what you could do with it and it was very small. Most things were still done on desktop or laptop.
Most people still didn’t have a smartphone until around 2011. Now they started to be advanced.
Over the next few years, smartphone ownership EXPLODED. I noticed by 2013, almost everyone was now GLUED to their phones.
Around this time, dating apps also exploded in popularity. Smart TV’s also came out around 2015.
Now you have apps on your TV like TH-cam and Netflix. The home entertainment got VERY good and it was VERY cheap.
Couple all this with people becoming very paranoid of each other as society has declined. And higher prices due to crazy inflation.
It’s very easy to see how we all got here.
Bringing back morality and ethnic homogeneity would go a long way to reverse this decline
One dude at a concert mentiined he is lonely, then he went on to talk about his wife and coworkers. Jeez, I am single and work from home. He doesn't know what lonely is.
loneliness can manifest in many different ways. you can't help feeling what you feel, regardless of circumstances. you likely wouldn't have gathered the context of his life, either. it's not a competition, it's a problem plaguing many people.
people can be depressed, even when they're otherwise successful in life. we've seen many people at the top still feel enough despair that they feel there's only one way out from it. we just can't assume what others' lives are like because we start projecting our desires of what they have.
i personally have people i value in life & know i can rely on when i really need help, & many have expressed value in me, but due to many horrible past experiences, it's hard not to shake off the looming sense that i'm alone in this world, & that i should best adapt & equip myself to rely on myself only. people might not initially assume the emotional weight, burdens, & traumas i carry though based on how i often present myself. i will also joke, laugh, & make light of certain things that bother me, coming off as though they're less concerning than they really are.
i was hurt by the same people i trust & have been made to feel lonely by them because of how they've clearly forgotten me in some past instances, as well as mistreated me (albeit i confronted the friend who did so).
i'm aware people have been attracted to me in adulthood, but there's an anxiety associated with others being unfamiliar with anything less superficial (past appearances). people irl don't usually know or dabble in my own interests, & while i could share in others', there's some issues with that that i won't go into. it's been a long time since, but i think i'm still traumatized from my both first best-friend & boyfriend having lied about the reason why we broke up (which was because he thought i was 'weird'). from adolescence to adulthood, my main outlet for sharing in hobbies in interests has felt limited to the internet. however, the internet is only so fulfilling compared to in-person interaction.
i grew up in a family of 7, but my 4 siblings were all much older than me (7+ years), & the overall dynamics were very troubled due to abuses & neglect in their childhoods. i couldn't trust either parent of mine, because they would talk shit & vent about each other & their problems through me even as a small child.
there's so much that goes into the psyche surrounding loneliness, & it's not just about what one tangibly has around them.
@@nilmerg thank you for sharing. It is all subjective. Somebody living alone on a mountain can feel content, but a movie-star can feel lonely.
I feel the loneliest when I am in a crowd of people I don't know. But seem to be fine in nature alone.
@@artfx9 i think it's important for everyone to understand that many of us are fighting our own problems invisible to others. maybe it is true that someone has "less" burdens in their lives, but much like we are aware of our own issues unbeknownst to others, chances are the same can be said of those we seem to have everything. it's just a matter, then, how much of our sympathy we want to extend towards them. but again, we shouldn't approach such things as a matter of competition.
I think loneliness is more severe if you actually have people around you but still feel lonely