I started getting into forex trading and one of the successful ppl on my team said that if you do something for 21 days, it becomes a habit. That can be applied to all aspects of your life (positively)
The entire time of my life, I was told by my surroundings that I was smart, gifted, etc. Until the moment I couldn't do anything on my own. This video is eye opening for me! Thanks
Cahya Gustiari Me too, it makes so much sense now. I get better grades than other people by studying for 10% of the time that they studied. Everyone told me I’m smart, it got to my head. I’ve become extremely lazy, hopefully I can change.
@@SidOfRivia Yeah, I had the same experience. But now I realize it doesn't build me up or make me smarter. I am lazy and procrastinate and I realize that I can't surf through college once I graduate from high school. Hopefully I can change this mindset as well
@@SidOfRivia Exactly, I was the guy who under-perform in class and doing extremely better in exams. But I now feel how lazy I become after realizing that. I could just work for few days and pass the exams easily, But since I thought I am the superman who can pass the exams very easily, I didn't even pick up the book to study.
omg same ;_; well, except that I don't have depression, I'm just lazy and not motivated (I hope you'll get better :c ) but without trying I was one of the best students for most of my life and now, at the uni, I'm at the bottom because I can't find the streght to actually sit and study... I'm trying for a year to change it and it doesn'ttt, so i feel more and more hopeless. Sorry that I picked your comment to cry underneath :')
I actually have an amazing example of this: In my family there’s me and my little brother, I always were an intelligent girl who never struggled with school and always had good grades, my brother, on the other hand, used to have multiple difficulties in school and for several years he needed special education, beside of that he’s really intelligent too. In our childhood, every time we accomplish something my parents celebrate it, the difference was that in my case my parents always told me that the reason why I accomplished that is because I’m a really smart girl, and they always told my brother that was because he worked so hard on that. Now we are in college, and he’s the most motivated person I know and never give up and I, even if I’m doing well in college, always struggle to finish what I started, and if I fail I blame myself and give up. He also has so much confidence in himself while I’m always doubting my abilities. This video hit me hard.
This video actually made me realize something. My whole life I’ve been told that im “smart” and “gifted” or whatever. So I just came to assume that everything had to be done effortlessly or else I wouldn’t be seen as smart anymore. And instead of putting in the work to get better at something and accepting the need for improvement, I would just feel demotivated because I would feel like I am not smart enough.
Feeling this right now, slap bang in the middle of super important exams. All of my friends and family keep dismissing my feelings saying "You'll be fine. You'll do well because you're smart" and I just feel worse because I have no motivation and know I've not being doing as well as I know I could be 😭 I never realised this could be a factor but now that I think about it this is absolutely the reason I feel the way I do
There's a book called Hidden Time Wealth, and it talks about how using some secret techniques, you can overcome procrastination and accomplish anything in life. It's not just a bunch of empty promises; it's the real deal.
I searched up "How to stay motivated" because I was starting to fail my Math 3 class of my senior year of high school and felt like dropping out. This video opened up a lot for me and has helped me recognize that me giving up isn't going to do anything. It would just let me lose more motivation as I get older. Thank you for making this video, and thank you to anyone that read this.
i searched it cuz my mom and dad tell me that i have changed or i have lost hope which i think its just that there is no motive to do anything yes i have been called smart clever gifted, which is the part of the problem? i guess i will watch the video but i just wanted to comment on why i came here
You can also work on your perception and reactions. If there is an outside obstacle, ex. if you planned to go on a walk in the park but it started raining, you can convince yourself if turned out better that way cause now you get a cozy night in with somebody, instead of brooding over your unconceived plans.
Yeah it's also kinda depressing if your life sucks and it's all your own fault. You don't always controll your setbacks, but you can influence how much effort you put in and increasing the likelihood of you life becoming better
The real take away, which I think we can all relate to, is that accomplishing things (even small things) is essential to motivation. There is no "long game" to motivation.
I discovered this myself a while back. I got lazy because I just wanted to blame everything else. Then I watched a certain anime which lead to me realizing what I required to stay motivated and do better. I just began telling myself that everything in school is easy (even if a little tedious) and so I should be able to do it all easily. I found myself way more productive after that.
Everytime someone new sees my art, especially older women, they say that I'm so talented. I always respond with "thanks! It's because I've been drawing for years" It's a let down when they respond "no that's gonna be a natural talent. You're born with the ability to do things like that" They are creating an external locus for themselves, and also inflicting one on me as a result. I dont think they realize how it can be taken as an insult, and apparently quite damaging to motivation.
You are right but this control thing is so tricky. One also needs to accept when he or she has no control over things. We can control as much... And move on. Learning how to deal with failure is extremely important in order to stay focused.
That's the main principals of Stoicism. Einzelganger made an awesome video about it using the emperor Marcus Aurelius as an example. I highly recommend you check it out.
I agree, be aware of what you *Can* control. And only be concerned with what you can control. You can control what you do, say, think. You can't *control* what others do, say or think, what the weather is ect.
Yes exactly. Having an external locus of control is very necessary when it is something outside your control that causes bad things to happen. People who have a strong internal locus of control tend to blame themselves for everything that goes wrong, which makes them feel extremely guilty and regretful, and it is hard for them to move past things. I have a strong internal locus of control so i blame my own actions for bad things that happen to me or others - I.e. "it's because I did this that this happened...I should have done this instead, it's my fault" which is sometimes essential because this is also a reflection and learning process, but when it is done in a inappropriate situation, it is damaging. In that case, it's better to think that "I have no control over this thing, it's just bad luck/misfortune that caused this to happen, so let's just try to be positive for now and hope that it doesn't happen again"
I always hate these ‘your life sucks because of you and only you’ things because theres people with PTSD and other stuff you can only get because of a traumatic life event that largely someone else has caused. The reality is theres things we can control and things we cant and we have to find a balance but it can be hard when other people try to control things that should only be for you to control and that is going to screw someone up for life.
Wow I never thought of this. I have been told by my teachers, coaches and parents that I'm smart and talented. I have become lazy and unmotivated. While I see some of my peers who get different compliments work their butts off! This will definitely help me get back on track.
@@pilipollo6193 tried, made me even more suicidal 🙂 this is a much later me and turns out it was video games. Ever since I forced myself to get out and have busy days, I haven’t had time to play. I’ve been happier and I might have my first gf soon
I’ve been told all my life that I’m very intelligent for math, so when I don’t understand something I blame myself, feel bad and I’ve started to low key hate math because of that. I really want to find the joy in numbers again :(
Do not worry if you cannot understand the math problem. At least you can say yourself that you stepped towards the problem that only smart and hard work people do. Why don't you go outside and look around the world when you blame to yourself. This is common if you dont understand something
I’ve never been a fan of motivational videos but this is just what I needed. I’ve always been “the smart kid” but at the same time I’ve always felt miserable and unmotivated. It’s a weird mix of over confidence and a total lack of it. I now realize it’s not about how talented you are, but how much work you put into whatever you do that matters. I still think there’s a key component I’m missing for why my job has gotten so absurdly unbearable and boring but I’m definitely making changes and stop having this mindset of “I could make this in just 1 hour if I wanted to”
That’s awesome! Thanks for sharing. Those with the biggest smiles tend to get unhappy because they are always are taking care of others but no one is reciprocating the treatment. What you were feeling is normal. If you ever make your way to my channel I’d love to chat!
Im still wondering if this counts as a motivational video or is something similar, because it isn't like "you can do it! you have to believe on yourself", but rather "don't blame things in your life, you choose your own destiny"
Einstein said: "everyone is a genius, but a fish that can't climb a wall ain't stupid" basically don't overestimate yourself or even estimate, have you ever heard Einstein saying I'm a genius and I'm better than everybody? No because he never thought for a single moment that he should estimate himself with what he did because he knew that where he is rn is up to how much he worked not how much gifted he was basically, DONT BE DUMB.
also motivation is an illusion only, will is stronger than that because if you can't inspire yourself by yourself, the succes don't count as yours. I believe if you wanna do something do it don't search on yt people who do that thing instead of you. Like going gym or smth
It's important to block out that noise!! People will always act like they know you... believe in yourself and know your truth above all else. That's what I would recommend.
i think people over estimate how much they perform and they have and underestimate luck. I still thing without luck you cant achieve anything, but Luck without the will to work hard if you get a chance is also useless. You can be the most motivated guy ever, if you have to take care of kids, or sick parents or you get sick you are fucked, no matter how motivated you are. Just saying, never underestimate luck
It's important to talk to the people in your life and let them know that you're doing this and ask them for their support in not undermining it. You can find more resources if you look for growth mindset vs fixed mindset.
It's a lot about perspective. I mean, in some sense even if it is hard work, you were able to work harder or want it more due to factors eventually outside your control. Nothing forces you to view it this way though. Having an internal locus is offense, its how you attack problems most effectively. Having an external locus is defense, it's a way to protect yourself from psychological damage at unfortunate outcomes. If you only have offense, your eventually gonna take serious damage and have problems with guilt. If you only have defense, you'll never accomplish anything. You need to employ the right one for the right situation.
Yep. I do agree with it. People around me say that I am smart. I was happy about it in the past, but right now I am just passing time not even knowing what to do. I am using the reason to use my intelligence in the right manner to escape everything.
When I was younger I always was one of the top students without doing anything so I was told I was smart and everything by my parents. Thanks to this video I now know it's their fault if I'm this lazy, I can finally be lazy without feeling guilty, thanks. Wait, I feel like I missed smth here
There is still a danger to an internal locus of control to be careful of. When they fail, those types of people tend to blame themselves even if things were outside their control. And even if they failed, there's a danger they'll take it hard anyways because they feel like they didn't try hard enough
I know this is from a year ago, but yes, this. I grew up always being told I wasn't trying hard enough, and knew from early on that everything is under my control. So when something wouldn't work out, I'd beat myself up over it and work harder, and then I'd crash and have severe burnout. It's important to be careful too if you have mental health diagnoses or disabilities of any kind. ADHD, CFS, insomnia, and other issues do genuinely affect executive functioning and there isn't much you can do about that, other than work with your limitations.
This may be true, but the fact is that people with a strong internal locus of control don't beat themselves up in the first place. There is a realistic limit to our capabilities, but if you have a strong sense of self worth then you won't give up on trying to push the limits.
@@potapotapotapotapotapota wow, you're every person in existence with a strong internal locus of control? or have you just met them all? really, if you're going to make sweeping generalizations like that at least say "most" rather than acting like everyone of a specific group shares any single trait aside from being in that group, because at best you're setting yourself up to look wrong.
this is literally how korea works. they alway say, ''thank you for your hardwork'' or ''try and work harder next time'' or ''i'll do my best today'' now i see the diff
Idk.. im a korean student in korea and although we score the highest in sholar activities korea has the highest student suicide rate for oecd countries. Its just competition competition competition. Drives students till the edge. Studying is more like an act to be top of the competition than a way to achieve their dreams. Just... long story in short, students in korea arent really happy and we talk about talents alooot. More than hardwork.
I feel like this video just changed my entire way of thinking in a way. Before I can 100% say I had an External Locus, especially since I have been told I am bright and gifted my whole life. After watching this video I feel like my mindset is starting to shift to have a more Internal Locus and I feel much more motivated on the day-to-day basis.
This is such an eye opener for me. The past week I had been procrastinating on work because I was thinking "I have enough time to finish it" but the other day I decided no, need to get it done. So I sat down, removed all my distractions, and got to work. The hardest part was starting but once I got into the working mood I started to fly through my work. The hardest part was this essay I was worried about. But I told myself "I can do this if I am determined" it took hours but at the end looking back I felt so proud of myself and my hard work felt worth it. Truly, appreciation of your work from yourself is often more beneficial that outsider opinion
I'm currently doing this rn. online class make me unmotivated, fall behind and useless, but exam is around the corner so I had to push myself. Wake up early, sleep late, I have to sacrifice my sleep mood 😂 always believe in "work hard never betray me" hopefully I got 3.00 this semesters.
I’m currently in the same situation right now. I have an essay due next week but I keep telling myself I’ll do it tomorrow again and again and I never get to it. I’ve just lost a lot of motivation as the year progresses and I don’t know what to do about it.
The locus of control is such a double-edge sword. I've seen plenty of times where believing that you're in control really does help, but I've also lived through things that TRULY weren't in my control, and on top of the collateral damage from those events, I had to deal with the guilt of believing those events were somehow my fault AND deal with the people around me telling me it was my fault, which lead to them not doing what THEY could control to help with the situation. There's power in seizing what's in your control, but there's freedom in accepting what isn't. And there's danger in being punished for what isn't in your control.
Yeah, I appreciate the video's intent in saying that we need take control of our own lives, but there are going to be things in life you just can't change regardless of your own effort or competence. There's a difference between accepting responsibility and internalizing blame for factors that might simply be beyond your control.
Definitely, I've struggled with a chronic illness since I was 10 and since I've always had an internal locus of control, I thought maybe I was the problem, while in reality there was absolutely nothing I could have done and it was mostly caused by genetics and my parents neglect
It obviously is just a guideline for whatever situation you're in, if you're unable to figure out whether or not you were in control then you need some help.
Ya I got a "pick yourself up from your bootstrap" vibe from this. Sometimes there is hard limits. Like one job I almost ended up running my car into a tree at top speed to end it because I kept blaming myself and didn't want to take it anymore. The only thing that stopped me was I was fired a week before I plan to do it. It took me about a full decade to completely just give up. Like I haven't 100% given up because it's about impossible. (To quote a TV show. "It's kind of like peeing your pants on purpose. You spend your whole life trying not to pee your pants, so letting go, peeing your pants on purpose, it's next to impossible.") But after giving up as best as I could. I've been more happy than I have been in years, and a ton of stress has went away to the point my health monitors reflect it. Like I'm disabled, and those with my disability and a college degree statistically 85% of us are unemployed prior virus. Worse now. Like I worry some about what happens when my family gets tired of me. But I help out, I am about to focus on things like the garden and what not. I do what I can. And I'm getting slightly more happier every day.
I restarted college in 2018 and came across this video that changed my mindset throughout my four-year degree program. Now, I am a graduate with a Bachelor of Science in Computer Science and having a career in Software Engineering. The trick is always be aware of praises that disregards your hard work and find ways to trick your mind to stay motivated and in control.
well i guess i could give an example of this My friend who i met at 3rd grade: Knows how to draw well Some years later Now (Middle School): Doesn't have the feel of Wanting to draw too much , Still draws but not too often , mostly silent uhh... thats it
This video is very true. my self esteem is very low because I was told since I was a kid that I was gifted or naturally talented...but when I compare myself to others I feel left out in terms of skills. Thanks for this video, I feel so motivated
dude :( this is me now at 23 realising i'm not anything like the "gifted child" they made me believe i was when i was little and it's honestly a slap in the face. i had no idea other people stuggled with the same issue
The fact you hang on that theory too hard is the problem. The others recognition of your hard work shouldn't determine your success, that's dumb. If you're on a downfall it's 99% you 1% external, learn to blame yourself.
@@slaughter6226 I'm sorry it's just a joke i searched this because I'm losing motivation being in class-A and being the slowest there is making me really disappointed so just wanted to gain some of my motivation back
I've honestly always resented it when people say I'm talented, this makes complete sense. I've worked extremely hard to be the best I can at art, animation, general film stuff, and music. And people always say "you're so talented", and I correct them and say that I'm skilled. Saying one is talented tends to discredit how hard they worked to get there, and I feel like people tend to say that because they believe it takes talent, and no degree of hard work can get you there. Well, that's entirely false. I suck at being naturally creative, it's only through hard thinking do I come up with an idea for art, animation or music. I would say I have no talent, and I now am very proud of where I am. But I still suck most when I'm confident I can do something with ease rather than hard work
@@Bigzthegreat And I do act more understanding of that than I sounded like in my comment. I am very understanding of where people come from when they say that. The reason why I make sure to shut them down is because that viewpoint can harm them too. If someone defaults to thinking that one has to have talent to do what I do, then they're wrong. The problem is, they may think they can't do what I do because they "have no talent.". But that's a harmful way to look at it. If you think you can do it, then you can do it regardless of talent. Though it may take longer. Which is worse than not even trying even though you want to, because you think someone can only get there through talent As someone who works hard, it's sort of the validation of my work from others that matters most to me. Either that, or knowing that I taught someone something for the better, or helped them. So when people say I'm talented, it isn't validating of my hard work, and it honestly hurts. But I do understand that they don't mean it that way, but it does feel like a way of complimenting the creation while accidentally undermining the creator. It's not like I tripped while carrying my paint and "oops i made a masterpiece". If that were the case, I may not even show it because it's not genuine to me without the work Sorry for making the rant even longer. But saying I'm talented sounds like a default line from a robot. Genuine reactions are what matter to me, not what they choose to show, what they actually feel. They may like it in reality, but even if they overplay how much they like it too much, then it just doesn't *feel* like a compliment
yuki: Hell, no. "Blame your parents for what you are; blame yourself for what you become". OR, you can spend your entire adult life blaming your parents, your childhood for the problems you have in adult life. And, btw, I don't know how old you are, but NO ONE cares that you were a "gifted child". As an adult, you get zero points for that because so what? it's like the older guy who keeps bragging about what a jock he was in high school. In HIGH SCHOOL? BFD.
@HauntedALX You forgot the part where you have no idea what any of the answers are supposed to be, and yet you still pass the class because everyone did terrible on the test too.
I never applied myself in school because I always got decent grades and kept hearing I was very smart, now I have serious procrastination and motivation problems. This video made me feel validated
But that's not what the study concluded. You're not a 5th Grader and the study never said anything about long lasting effects. You would probably acknowledge if you do something with hard work. A far closer explanation why you're lazy could simply be that because you are smart and did not need to work hard you simply didn't learn to motivate yourself like other people did.
Lol but your still blaming your condition on your surroundings, what other people have told you, rather than realizing you were in control the whole time.
Like Jessica Urban said, your comment is continuing to blame your own attitudes on external factors which is, I imagine, the opposite thing that the authors of the video would suggest you do
I'm 15 and been called smart all the time and I am but I always struggled to do stuff like cleaning and studying but after self reflection I'm trying to do better and this video and others are helping me understand why I'm been like this and how to do better
To be fair many studies have shown that a purely internal locus of control is also problematic and even as unhealthy as an external one. This can lead to anxiety and a really hard time dealing with loss or failure because why couldn’t you stop it? Sometimes bad things happen by chance but living exclusively internally will make you feel guilt and shame over it. A balance is needed.
Wow. This was eye opening. I was also told I was smart. And, when things went south, that that was just the way I was. Also, I've started to notice that I don't give myself credit for working hard, especially if I don't get the result I want. I will focus on working hard and celebrating that and getting better at motivation. ✨
This applies well to jiujitsu. “Hard work beats talent when talent refuses to work hard.” Nothing comes easy to me in jiujitsu, so when I achieve something, I know that I earned it. Sometimes being a “prodigy” (or being called one) can be a curse. I’ve seen a lot of naturally gifted athletes quit when they realize that their gifts can only take them so far.
Same in esports too when we had a teammate that is being called by the fans/public a prodigy often times he won't practice as hard anymore, won't participate in team scrims and their gameplay will fall off by next season and get replaced.
Prince Naseem Hamed was the perfect example of this. He was an insanely gifted boxer who made others look like fools. But when he found his limits, he just quit.
This is so true. People saying I was talented made me lazy and arrogant. Need to try getting things in control again. P.S. I know the people who praised me are not at fault.
@@gitarthasarma7568 So true! My parents did many things wrong, but that is in the past now and everything that happens from now on is my responsibility and mine alone. Let's not blame ourselves for mistakes we have made, and WILL make along the way. The only thing we have to blame ourselves for is for not trying. As many times as it takes.
but they also kind of are at fault cause when you are a kid you accept what grown ups around tell you as true and then you end up believing that Realizing it is untrue, that's is your effort, not working against it would be your fault Same as them not realizing it is wrong is their fault
Plot twist: Your actions actually don't have consequences and that screaming kid has been leading humanity astray which is all part of his plot to rule the world. Mind: Blown
This is so true. So many people blame society or their lack of talent for their failures in life (school, work, relationships etc), instead of looking inward for flaws they can work on.
What if you say it as you're talented and you have developed that talent efficiently. As in I'm not just saying you're talented and you don't have to do anything about it.
I've been told that "you're smart and hard working" since i was a kid, "BUT" I felt really pressured because of everyone's high expectations on me. I studied and worked hard mostly to meet my family's expectations, been a consistent honor student but I felt like i was working hard just because I need to get high grades otherwise,I'll disappoint my parents
I was the opposite, you can say I was a rebel. I was told the same but would be immediately scolded for any failures, I didn't want any expectations from anyone just the freedom of my own choices. Not studying too hard, but hard enough to pass was one of them.
I had always felt like being told I was smart all the time in school was extremely damaging for me and hindered me throughout my adult life thus far. This gives me the actual reason why. Thanks for making this video.
the most confusing thing about me is, that when someone says smth negative to me, it becomes positive, when someone says smth positive, I get it as a "I've done enough" feeling and I start to lose motivation
Part of the reason why we procrastinate is because we find the work too overwhelming for us. Break it down into little parts, then focus on one part at a time. If you still procrastinate on the task after breaking it down, then break it down even further. Soon, your task will be so simple that you’ll be thinking “Gee, this is so easy that I might as well just do it now!”
Mindset Mastery I Think there is alimit to how much You Can break things down. I often find something simple like taking a shower or eating lunch overwhelming.
@@katrinepetersen2566 I think you can still break those down. You can start the process of eating lunch by first checking what's in the refrigerator, for example.
My whole life my parents told me i was very smart and talented when i started loosing all of my motivation two or three years ago and it kept getting worse. Just after seeing this i already feel better, can't wait until i completely aknowledge this :D Have a nice day, please take care !💖
This is so real. I always was that kid who would get the highest scores in exams and assignments without studying much. I even got the highest score in a state test of my entire school and one of the highest in the whole country. I could choose any career in any college I wanted and I would certainly get a scholarship if I asked. Seeing how everything was pretty much handed to me in a silver plate, I just accepted the first college who called me and didn't even consider any other option. Now that I'm in the 4th semester of my career, I absolutely regret joining the university I did, I feel frustrated and that I was played, but now I see that I played myself. Always work as hard as you can even for the things that seem unimportant, for every single little thing will eventually have some point to it.
This is the reason why every time my relatives would say that the reason why I got into a top university is because of the "smart genes" I got from them, I'd always argue that it was my effort that got me where I am now.
@@PZN-6 It talks about how kids are relying on being smart and all will get them through life, but the real thing that will help you through life is the effort
I’m doing research on motivation because I lack it. Another part of motivation is you brain wants dopamine you get this from many sources. If you get all your dopamine from being on a phone 6 hours a day then you will now want to find any other sources of dopamine. I hope this can help you a little bit.
This thinking also increases the chances of depression because when something doesn't go right the person starts to feel depressed thinking that he is the only one to blame for his situation but this isn't fully right, there are external factors too.
This is very true. The reality is there is a combination of work ethic and talent and luck. People want to attribute any success they have to hard work to boost their own self esteem.
that’s why you need to keep the mindset that even if you do fail, keep going cus it’ll always pay off in the long run. So yes this isn’t the only factor, your mindset is important to
I was always told I was smart and gifted. As a result I did not try, and worse, I am reluctant to try anything challenging in case I fail and prove everyone wrong.
i was diagnosed with ADHD and Dyslexia in 2nd grade. I was in the special ed program all throughout grade school and I was always told “it’s not your fault you’re doing poorly in school, other kids don’t have to deal with the same hurtles” Now i’m failing in college because I have no motivation to do my work and I just realized it’s because i’ve always been told that my failure is never my fault. Obviously nothings going to change overnight but thank you for changing my perspective, I hope this helps me stay motivated in the future.
Hey.. this is 6 months later, are you doing okay in college and stuff right now?. . . Try getting help, don’t talk to someone that will keep saying that it’s not your fault and stuff, I don’t think I could help but I hope everything gets better ❤️
@@-rainer Thanks for your reply! yes! things have gotten much better, I powered through last semester and got decent enough grades. Found out that I’ve been struggling in school because i genuinely hate it 🤣. Over the summer I applied myself to my passions and began a career in videography with the help of a mentor. Ive come to realize that I need to work on things that i’m passionate about in order to work my hardest. I have to do one more year left in school and It’s been tough but i know that once I graduate I’ll be able to chase a career and become someone I’m proud of. So much motivation in that epiphany.
@@spellicup8297 I request another update haha. I think I might have undiagnosed/untreated ADHD and it’s really ruining my perception of things… Did you get any medication? Or are you just coasting through things with ADHD?
@@lrn5152 Hi, I have the same trouble and yes, I was medicated, and well, It helps but you need to remember, you are what you do, medication isn't everything.
What you are saying is true but there comes times when even after doing all the hard work, things just don't go your way. And then you start criticising yourself and feeling depressed that it was all your fault. So for those moments you, need to remember that not everything in your life is in your control. 🙂
Agreed. It seems more like what the video is touching upon is optimism and hope. This seems like a better way of framing it because it allows a person to understand that *some* things can be outside of their control, but that despite those external barriers, they can push forward with the expectation that they will overcome.
Yeah, sometimes I can beat myself up over being depressed, because I feel like it's my own fault, even if I did all the 'right' things to prevent it. But I'm trying to get to the place where I realise that depression is not my fault. Sometimes, external factors (like covid isolation) are at fault, but I still have some control in doing the things that will eventually get me out of it, I don't believe I am completely out of control.
Also there are probably things of which you don't control the issue, and persuading you it is thanks to you would lead to bad decision. Casino for example, or becoming so overconfident in your skill that you don't take safety measure seriously
This makes me think of what I tell the team I coach in Overwatch. I always tell them to buy into the 30/30/40 rule. 30% of your matches, you will get curbstomped no matter HOW hard you try (due to external factors like a smurf on the enemy team, teammates have no chemistry with each other, etc.). 30% of your matches, you will absolutely roll the enemy team, even if you feel like you're not doing anything (ie: everyone's just clicking together, you have a smurf on your team, etc.). 40% of your matches are what determine your winrate and, ultimately, your success. Don't take losses personal, because those could be just that 30% of auto-losses, but learn from them and use that experience to swing that 40% your way; don't take wins personal, because those could just be that 30% of auto-wins, but use that confidence and momentum to help you focus on the next match and being that X-Factor that swings it for your team!
That reminds me of one of my favorite quotes: "It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not weakness. That is life." - Captain Jean-Luc Picard
It seems to me, then, that teaching children that they're "smart" and "talented" and "gifted", instead of hardworking, is actually a form of child abuse. It deeply harms them in the long term. I was told all my life, by everyone around me growing up, that I was TALENTED. Talented at this, talented at that, genius at this, smart at that. Now I've done practically nothing with my life. Never finished what I started. Luckily with therapy I've dug myself out of the hole of depression and daily suicidal thoughts, and I'm going to have to teach myself everything that my parents failed to teach me. I will use affirmations every single day that I'm hard working, determined, and persistent.
Agreed! My parents didn't really parent me a lot because they were very busy working and thought I would do fine which I did in middle school but then I got really depressed for a really long time and now I have to be the one to dig myself out of it.
i have to do this too! It is very very hard because we lack basic knowledge and we're grown ups with growns ups problems. Just remember that your parents did their best and didnt know any better.
This is so true! Understanding the Locus Rule completely changed the way I approach challenges. I used to blame external factors for everything, but now I realize how much power I have over my own success. It's all about taking control and staying motivated, even when things get tough!
My mother used to tell my sister that she's very smart. When I asked her about me, she'd always use a different adjective: I was told my entire life that I wasn't smart but I was a hard worker. I felt bad as a child (feared math and economics all my life because my father told me I couldn't do it). I But after seeing this video, I know how it helped me be better than her today. Today, I'm in my final year of university, getting my degree in economics with a minor in math next year.
Got my economics degree this year and I had a really tough time. It was always motivational if someone called me a hard working student and to not give up. Best of luck to you!
I think there's another problem, you seem to compare yourself to her. "Better than her" you say. I think it's great to compete to better ourselves but when you start to insert "I'm better than her' or 'dumber than her', I think it's problematic. Personally, it gives me the vibe of feeling 'superior' or 'inferior' which doesn't sound like an healthy way of thinking... I read somewhere a quote along these lines: 'You should compete against yourself, no others.' See how much you've improved from your past self.
I'm so sorry but when you grow up feeling inadequate, being called dumb by your own parents and compared at all points with your sister, the comparison spirit settles deep down in your heart as a child. These are the emotional wounds that will take time to heal, but her behavior towards me and her feeling of being so superior than me doesn't help.
Just don't blame at all... unless you need someone to pay the bill. :P But otherwise, just learn from what happened and try make it better in the future.
I was told I wasn’t smart enough to get into medical school all through high school and undergrad, so I worked really hard for about 10 years since I believed that the hard work would pay off. Never got into med school, and wasted 10 years of my life on something that was never going to happen. So I think there is something to be said for not achieving your goals even IF you work your hardest. Unfortunately that was a lesson I learned really late in life, but now I use every chance I get to inform others.
As weird as it seems, out of all the comments yours givews me the most hope for my daughter. I'm currently expecting my first child and I really want to implement the Locus Rule with her to set her up for success. Hearing that you had a dream and that you could work for at least 10 years towards it shows me that determination like that really lasts. As a "gifted" person who struggles with motivation, I didn't think it was possible to chase a dream like that and you just proved to me that people CAN. Thank you :)
I’m in the same boat currently. 6 years into trying to get an engineering degree, and I’m still failing classes. I’m trying really hard, but seeing all the smart people skate by with no problems really makes me question if I chose the right path.
For me it's a bit of the opposite, I'm 3 years into med school and now realizing this may not be for me. I haven't been trying my hardest lately but I feel constantly confused if the reason for that is my lack of motivation and disciple or just a general loss of interest
Sure, but you should also consider that maybe the person who told you you weren't smart enough, coincidentally predicted that you weren't going to enter. Therefore, it doesn't mean you're actually not smart enough. Maybe it was something else. Maybe something you d I didn't realize on time. So yeah, hope the best for you
I’ve always been told I was smart, but I had no confidence and never thought I was actually smart. Because of this, I worked hard at trying to fit the role society told me I should be. It’s always hard work that pays off in the end not just “being smart”.
Wow I relate to this so much All throughout grade school and middle school I went to the same school, so naturally being with the same group of kids I was known as the “smart girl” During middle school my friend group was basically just girls who were also smart, and the competition between all of us caused me so many mental illnesses and stopped me from doing any other activities bc all my time was spent doing schoolwork and over studying I was always asked for homework help, and the teachers knew me as the smart girl as well (even to the point where things would be said like the likelihood of some rare event happening was more likely than me flunking a test) Anyways fast forward to eighth grade I cut those girls out and started doing other things with my time (playing volleyball, spending time with my sister, watching Marvel movies with my new friend, etc.) My grades lowered a little bit (they were all still mid nineties), but the people I surrounded myself with helped my anxiety and confidence so much Then COVID ended eighth grade early, but I still ended up getting valedictorian Freshman year was all online so it was easy, but my procrastination was horrible Sophomore year started off okay but my mental illnesses exhausted me so bad I legit dropped out of high school less than two years after being known as the “smart girl” Now all I’m trying to do is get my feet back under me in terms of exploring my interests and being motivated to do anything other than sit on my phone or sleep So yea there’s my story, you’re not alone :)
My mantra is “I am the captain of my ship and I control my destiny”. these words I say to myself all the time and it motivation me work harder and want to be successful.
Try this : everytime you're about to procrastinate, admit (to yourself) that you wanted to do something else, but that if you do not do your duty, a consequence will kill you sooner or later, and complete your goal (it's quality doesn't matter so much, your goal is to get rid from the bad, sad and boring feelings) . If it's quite long to achieve it quickly, create a activity that keeps you in touch with your progress but do not let you away from what you have to do nor let you rest. Make it a routine, and maybe at an year's period (roughly), procrastination will be something from the past. Peace! :-)
Crossetler _ lol I’m a freelancer and pursuing creative careers and sometimes when I’m on my 5th hour of scrolling on my phone I stop, and say out loud “Matt what are you doing, you’re wasting your time, this is do or die time and if you do not ‘do’ then you will die.” Is that constructive or am I insulting myself and sabotaging potential productivity?
**WARNING** The first half of the video literally is the first 5 pages of the “mindset” by Dr. Carol Dweck, who was in the experiment. TH-camr doesn’t link to Professor and research sources.
"You'll never have issues with motivation in your life ever again" bold words to say to a person with ADHD. That mentality isn't very wise, because then it turns lack of motivation into something that's not supposed to happen ever, instead of acknowledging that sometimes motivation is lacking and we need to know how to deal with it.
@@Iamtk777 I mean when one has adhd it's hard to maintain consistency. Is there a way someone with adhd can maintain consistency? I am sorry for the typo
Yes, an internal locus of control is very important. I believe it to be necessary for success. But it is not sufficient. It's a lie people tell themselves, that you can achieve absolutely anything with just enough motivation. You also need discipline, consistency over a long time, and bravery to get over the many obstacles and failures laid before you. You will also come across moral dilemmas, that many people overlook or find rationales for. This requires different strategies than just getting motivated.
wow, i didn't know this and i clearly needed to know this. im glad i watched this. im actually in the process of changing myself for the better instead of getting the negativity onto me. it's better to move forward than to let yourself be drowned in that darkness!
My parents have literally told me all my life that I'm smart and gifted, never that I'm a hard worker. Now I'm a senior in high school dealing with extremely low motivation, depression, and laziness. I'm going to start rewarding myself anytime I work hard rather than when I'm praised for being smart.
The "correct" locus is 50/50 not "100 percent internal". The idea that a human can have 100 percent control over the outcome of a situation seems, dangerous, if not untruthful. It seems as unbalanced as a 100% external locus human.
In ancient times, fight or flight survival bred our genes. If it wasn't for humanity's instinct to react to it's surroundings and innovate to remain agile, a different species would be dominating the earth. It's the reason we do so much today despite not knowing the true long term effects, it's in our nature. I'm not saying we need to be 100% internally driven since human behavior isn't really binary, but a lot of our motivation to act does stem from our belief that that action will be influential.
things like weather the neighborhood and the people you converse with has a massive influence over the sales you make and how, this is not being negative or blaming others its simple fact, now if that person didn't do the same amount of doors because they got discouraged and therefore didnt knock on the same amount of doors that is and external locus of control. but you can still acknowledge the fact that facts and circumstances play a part and still not get demotivated, all as long as you did the same amount of doors you know you would have if you sold alot. the human brain can overrule its instinct. if they had said it was a rough place to sell in or the weather wasn't ideal but theyre sure if they do the same number of doors tomorow and the places or people are a diffrence region that fit the product then i dont see whats wrong with that
Yep. Recognizing external loci of control is an essential part in how to recover from heavy situations. The "it wasn't your fault" or the "putting things into perspective" is all about transeffering internal to external loci so as to recognize that no, sometimes one cannot move mountains. When you see those people that are extremely stubborn and motivated? They either never had a setback in their life, or they operate on guilt of some past transgression. Either way, I'm fine with how I am. I don't want to be more motivated. I'm stressfree, can burst into action and do incredible things for short amounts of time, but I am above all, not very determined. If I during my creation spree cannot see a further path, there is none and I can go sleep easy.
I feel like the important message is that you're in control of the things that you do, and as long as you do that, you should be okay more often than not. Overall this can lead to a person putting their happiness more into things that they can control (like starting a new hobby) over things they can't control (whether their sports team wins or not).
You had me, until the last line. "Do this, and you'll never have problems with motivation again." That's a tall promise. I am not an expert, but it seems that many factors affect motivation, this is just one effective one.
I've been rewiring my brain to get an internal locus of control and I never realized it. I've been saying, "I'm not talented, it's been hard work and practice." when someone compliments me with "You're so talented!"
@@myyt7590 Why would you say that??? Is it because the Korean characters in her name? Because you’re racist pice of crap for blaming Corona on her when you don’t even know her
@alexiawrldNot motivated, it helps to recontextualize that its up to me to pursue something or up to me to practice. Things don't feel so unreachable or out of my control in that way.
Fatima De Anda Dude come on, I’m all in for kpop and all but the profil pic isn’t even BTS related and the video neither yet you still need to write down that your a “ARMY”. This is why I don’t stan BTS that much
I haven't always been told that I'm really smart, I struggled a fair bit as a young kid, but as I got closer to my pre-teens and teens I started doing better and told I was smart. When I was doing my A-Levels, I really struggled, things weren't adding up, I was smart, but I couldn't do it effortlessly. Luckily we were in a position to hire a tutor but it felt humiliating, like working hard was a last resort. Here I am now, post watching this video having failed my degree on my final year because I figured I'd be smart enough to do it. I didn't put in the time or effort despite knowing that I had to, I didn't feel equipped to do that.
I loved this video, it reminded me of how motivated Naruto was & it was always because he worked hard to make up for the fact that he wasn’t as gifted as the rest & it resulted in him exceeding everyone else
Except Naruto was actually gifted and he was only able to win the battle that to him represented proving that hard work could beat talent (Naruto vs Neji) using the power he was born with (he wasn't exactly borned with The Nine Tailed Fox but you get the idea).
This video hit me, and I really felt it. These past few years I have had serious motivation problems (not due to depression or anything like that), and it was tough for me to even bother with working on things. All my life I was told that I was smart, I am the smart kid in class, I excelled above everyone else. I was even in the gifted and talented class because I had a higher intelligence quotient than most of the school! So if I am so smart, why can't I get anything done? I always looked for ways to improve motivation, but nothing worked Recently though I have been slightly improving with motivation, but not much. I seriously contemplated and pondered the times I did do well and was motivated. I noticed that there were certain things I was motivated to do, such as writing a book. Everyone congratulated me for working hard, and that I got farther than any of them. Sure, I may be continuing because it is a hobby I enjoy, but it's not something I do because of intelligence. Thank you for sharing this, and I will most certainly apply this more to my life.
ReaGame I share similar circumstances to yours. I too am still struggling to keep my motivation high, and have been looking for ways to resolve this issue. Thanks for sharing, I hope to make it!
This is so accurate! For my whole life people told mt that I am talented and smart and now I am a very lazy person. I find motivation when I am doing something new. Because thats a result of work and not "experience I have". Statements in this video are 100% accurate!
For those who don't know how to start: A way to practice leaving the habit of letting the outside control us (poor internal locus) could be to do something that challenges us, any activity which we don't feel gifted and talented about, stick to it and as the video said, make a conscious recognition of progress. Identify how it feels, record and remember consciously and then try to reply in our day to day activities. ❤️❤️ Hope it helps. Sorry for bad English. Best vibes!!!!
Well thats the thing, for people with motivation issues it's hard to stick to something to notice the progress. That's the problem I have with this "solution," it makes sense on the surface level but when you think about it it just breaks down into "If you wanna get motivated to to put in effort, put in effort to get yourself motivated" which of course makes zero sense.
@@chanceplace6057 you have to put the effort somehow. Putting yourself into the proper state of mind with the help of correct and valid information (for yourself) is half the work. Recognize that excuses will appear (as a natural process) still they are not excuse enough to stop you and understand putting some effort somehow is essential. Pick your effort
Since psychology is always a neat subject, I'll throw some thoughts out on the board Not saying I'm right or wrong, but- Maybe lack of motivation comes from the constant stream of society telling you to study and work hard all the time if you want to succeed. At what point is success? And what does an individual really want? What if one's own enjoyments give them more happiness than studying and working hard, and they wish to spend more time doing what they enjoy instead of working towards something that they're not sure they'll be happy with in the future? I was looking at a grave, and this man had died in his middle life. His moto was sweet and simple, about waking up, going fishing, tell a story around the campfire, laugh with friends, etc etc, and repeat. But then, his life had ended, but atleast he had been doing what he wanted to. That got me thinking, what if I put aside what I enjoyed to stress myself out while working and working towards a goal I'm uncertain about, because how can I be certain about something I've never experienced before? What if I happen to pass away amidst that working, always working towards success and putting aside the things that make me happy? That's a scary thought for me, to end up dying because I was caught up in the work hard, study hard, play on Saturdays and Sundays and repeat. I find myself happiest when I'm enjoying the little things in life. Not getting those big bucks or making phenomenal achievements, but when my mind is quiet and not thinking ahead about anything, just staying in the moment and enjoying what I'm doing. I'd rather pass away in the midst of that lifestyle. If I can't do something, then oh well, I'll keep trying until they kick me out, and then find a different thing I enjoy. And if I can't find anything and end up in a box under a bridge, atleast I'll appreciate the universe and existence there. But that's just something I pieced together from listening to others. I'm tired of seeing people who work and study hard all their life like they are told to, but yet their miserable attitude is unparalleled and they rely on outside substances like alcohol and drugs to ease their mind. Is that really the ideal life? The American Culture has always been work hard, study hard, and you'll achieve success. Yet America also has an incredibly high rate of suicide, drug-usage, alcoholics, etc etc. Seeing someone who fits the perfect outcome of the working and studying hard complex is like finding a jem in the rough, but even they seem to be detached from their own emotions and exchange basic emotions like love, happiness, sadness, and anger, for reaching towards more and more success. Success really seems to be a negative, when it is held at such a high pedastool. In fact, success in one area can mean failure in another. The success of fossil fuels meant the downfall of our atmosphere, the success of technology meant the decrease in face to face interaction, the success of finding the perfect formula for a perfect human meant the downfall of people's mental healths, because we are not perfect, and when we do not fit the perfect formula, we are punished by our own thoughts for not being perfect. Maybe we should stop living for society, and start living for ourselves. Basically, I would recommend to people seeking advice to do what you enjoy more than what you work for. We don't 'HAVE' to do anything in life, the only thing we have to do is breathe.
I was a gifted kid at school. None of the classwork was challenging for me and I did all of the tests in less than half the time as the other students and scored very high. I never felt the need to study and still don't, but I've been doing other things like art and making a suit of armor. Armor making actually is pretty challenging, especially because I've chosen to do a custom design that's way more complicated than everyone else and it's very hard. I've spent more than 20 hours on the pattern and still, it's not perfect yet
@@cashewboi8567 I do not remember what the video was about but the armor turned out awesome. It took about 80 hours and I made everything except a helmet and I bring it to ren fairs. It's really fun
Through all my life I was told I was brilliant and that I was a genius. I took great pride in that. But truthfully I was always painfully unhappy and full of resentment. Despite believing in my own intelligence, I felt that things were owed to me for some kind of divine reason, and that I was being wronged by reality when things did not go my way even if I had not put any effort into making my dreams happen. I find it sad that it took me so long to realize how that kind of mentality made me suffer and that it made me a worse person to myself and others. But I am certainly glad I am now able to see there is no real merit in just "being" and not "doing". I'll endeavor to become the hard worker I should always have been.
I feel there should be a rational balance. People should know that they can do as much as they can for their life. But when they fail, they should not only think of their own faults, they should also take the external factors into consideration, because at the end, the results are always the outputs of our hard work and the feedback from the external world.
perfectly said. if the salesman had scheduled themselves to work the neighborhood on the sunny day and saved an apartment building for a rainy one, now he suddenly is in control of how the weather affects his sales (those times). other times, unexpected rain may fall and apartment buildings may run dry.
*First, it becomes motivation. Then, determination. And lastly, when there’s no motivation, it is routine that will push you.*
How to avoid doing this for the wrong reasons? Like a destructive kind of way.
@@zata100 do what's best for you and your environment.
@@timangar9771 Highly recommend "The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg"
That's called building drive.
I started getting into forex trading and one of the successful ppl on my team said that if you do something for 21 days, it becomes a habit. That can be applied to all aspects of your life (positively)
The entire time of my life, I was told by my surroundings that I was smart, gifted, etc. Until the moment I couldn't do anything on my own. This video is eye opening for me! Thanks
Cahya Gustiari Me too, it makes so much sense now. I get better grades than other people by studying for 10% of the time that they studied. Everyone told me I’m smart, it got to my head. I’ve become extremely lazy, hopefully I can change.
@@SidOfRivia Yeah, I had the same experience. But now I realize it doesn't build me up or make me smarter. I am lazy and procrastinate and I realize that I can't surf through college once I graduate from high school. Hopefully I can change this mindset as well
Cheryl0204 definitely can’t surf through college, I had to drop out after my first year, feels bad man.
@@SidOfRivia Exactly, I was the guy who under-perform in class and doing extremely better in exams. But I now feel how lazy I become after realizing that. I could just work for few days and pass the exams easily, But since I thought I am the superman who can pass the exams very easily, I didn't even pick up the book to study.
Wikum Wijesinghe that attitude is the exact reason why I failed my 1st year in college.
This is so accurate, I was always told that I was very smart and as a result, I became lazy, unproductive and unmotivated.
Same bro
me too bruh but I'm slowly trying to fix it you should too
how to chang bro
@@steevecbaby4847 Super Idol 的笑容正的光没眼爱 105 °C的你滴清纯蒸馏水你知道你多可爱跌倒后会傻笑着再站起来
I can relate, I realized I'm not proud to be "smart" because I don't use my intelligence.
"Don't rely on motivation, it might never come, but learn discipline"
- My classmate
Really underrated comment!
thanks bud , needed to hear that
W classmate
Your classmate is one wise pal.
Is your classmate andrew tate or something?
This explains why 3rd grade me being told I was on a “high school reading level” is now depressed and struggles with motivation
omg same ;_; well, except that I don't have depression, I'm just lazy and not motivated (I hope you'll get better :c ) but without trying I was one of the best students for most of my life and now, at the uni, I'm at the bottom because I can't find the streght to actually sit and study... I'm trying for a year to change it and it doesn'ttt, so i feel more and more hopeless.
Sorry that I picked your comment to cry underneath :')
Yea.. and that’s also exactly why you blame ur depression and lack of motivation on it. take some responsibility and u will see the changes.
@@blackout156 It's not that easy....
I resonate the same feeling as you guys. Its sad though.
Sammeee
I actually have an amazing example of this:
In my family there’s me and my little brother, I always were an intelligent girl who never struggled with school and always had good grades, my brother, on the other hand, used to have multiple difficulties in school and for several years he needed special education, beside of that he’s really intelligent too.
In our childhood, every time we accomplish something my parents celebrate it, the difference was that in my case my parents always told me that the reason why I accomplished that is because I’m a really smart girl, and they always told my brother that was because he worked so hard on that.
Now we are in college, and he’s the most motivated person I know and never give up and I, even if I’m doing well in college, always struggle to finish what I started, and if I fail I blame myself and give up. He also has so much confidence in himself while I’m always doubting my abilities.
This video hit me hard.
Are you, by any chance, an ENFP?
That was painful to read. Fortunately now you know. Incredible to see the power of belief on children over the years.
Inock 100% same !
Xena Experiments Genuinely asking, what made you think she is an ENFP?
"I always were an intelligent girl"
Okay
I've been called smart all my life. Now I have 0 motivation to study or do difficult things in general. I'll never do that to my kids.
same for me brother
Everyone told me I am smart but I knew I am not
So I have motivation
Fr
Same! My future kids deserve better if I can give it to them
same. I’m working on improving!
This video actually made me realize something. My whole life I’ve been told that im “smart” and “gifted” or whatever. So I just came to assume that everything had to be done effortlessly or else I wouldn’t be seen as smart anymore. And instead of putting in the work to get better at something and accepting the need for improvement, I would just feel demotivated because I would feel like I am not smart enough.
so true, I'm in a similar place and whenever I'm stumped on a maths question, for example, I start to question if I'm not smart enough
I am living this right now and it’s the worst
Omg I’ve never realized that this is literally the way I act. This video is golden…… it blew my mind.
Talent is a lot peoples roadblock to success
Feeling this right now, slap bang in the middle of super important exams. All of my friends and family keep dismissing my feelings saying "You'll be fine. You'll do well because you're smart" and I just feel worse because I have no motivation and know I've not being doing as well as I know I could be 😭 I never realised this could be a factor but now that I think about it this is absolutely the reason I feel the way I do
I’m in a gifted class and considered smart by my teachers, but I never get anything done, and I’m always tired.
Same
Same
How the frik? i need your powers. Idk how to even be human help
I relate to you and it led to my downfall I didn’t do any work and I lacked behind in class
Same!
As a kid my parents and teachers showered me with “you’re so smart”
Lo and behold I finished college in 7 years.
Same here, and behold im still at college
Same here and I'm still in uni and everyone's graduating
It depends how you take compliments
Same here. And I quit college.
Yoh! Same here ... 4 years course, it’s been 8 years now. Btw, was looking for a motivational video to prepare my mind for upcoming exam in two days..
There's a book called Hidden Time Wealth, and it talks about how using some secret techniques, you can overcome procrastination and accomplish anything in life. It's not just a bunch of empty promises; it's the real deal.
I can’t find it 😢
Must be that well hidden
i saw the same exact comment somewhere else
@@Ronin1512 lmao just saw this
I’m VERY disappointed. I was soo invested in your description of the book😢
I searched up "How to stay motivated" because I was starting to fail my Math 3 class of my senior year of high school and felt like dropping out. This video opened up a lot for me and has helped me recognize that me giving up isn't going to do anything. It would just let me lose more motivation as I get older. Thank you for making this video, and thank you to anyone that read this.
SAME, IM AVOIDING SCHOOL, AND IM GRADE 12 😭
Same but different reason
So you gonna study Maths just so you can get outta school and figure out what to do with the pythagoerus theorum?
Same dude...
Gotta study math again from ground zero
i searched it cuz my mom and dad tell me that i have changed or i have lost hope which i think its just that there is no motive to do anything yes i have been called smart clever gifted, which is the part of the problem? i guess i will watch the video but i just wanted to comment on why i came here
Be careful not to fall into this trap: not everything is within your control. What you can control is how you work around obstacles and challenges.
You can also work on your perception and reactions. If there is an outside obstacle, ex. if you planned to go on a walk in the park but it started raining, you can convince yourself if turned out better that way cause now you get a cozy night in with somebody, instead of brooding over your unconceived plans.
Yeah it's also kinda depressing if your life sucks and it's all your own fault. You don't always controll your setbacks, but you can influence how much effort you put in and increasing the likelihood of you life becoming better
seangen I was looking through the comments before I do a comment my self about this very thing.
Exactly. You don’t want to start thinking you’re omnipotent.
The real take away, which I think we can all relate to, is that accomplishing things (even small things) is essential to motivation. There is no "long game" to motivation.
I'm not even surprised that this was sponsored by skillshare lol.
Honestly, his transition was really smooth though.
dude same. he was like this video is sponsored by and before he said anything in my head i said skillshare
Idk if its just because of the types of channels I'm subbed to or what but it seems like Skillshare sponsors ~70% of the videos I watch.
More like skillshare is sponsoring every TH-cam channels
Lmaoo
I discovered this myself a while back. I got lazy because I just wanted to blame everything else. Then I watched a certain anime which lead to me realizing what I required to stay motivated and do better. I just began telling myself that everything in school is easy (even if a little tedious) and so I should be able to do it all easily. I found myself way more productive after that.
WHICH ANIME DID YOU WATCH I NEED TO TOOO
please tell us the anime you watched please
Haha I wanna watch that anime too!
Clasroom of the elites I thin it was. I can't promise this will work for anyone else though.
And now you can blame yourself only 🤪
When your parents say I am not smart
Me: That's an absolute win
They should’ve added that you can be smart if you study hard enough -but go off I guess-
parents: you're dumb, you're useless, you only cause trouble.
me: *a s c e n d e d*
@@verticalflyingb737 lol hahaha
Lmao
Lol niice.
Everytime someone new sees my art, especially older women, they say that I'm so talented. I always respond with "thanks! It's because I've been drawing for years"
It's a let down when they respond "no that's gonna be a natural talent. You're born with the ability to do things like that"
They are creating an external locus for themselves, and also inflicting one on me as a result. I dont think they realize how it can be taken as an insult, and apparently quite damaging to motivation.
It just sucks when all of your hardwork is undermined by naive people
ignore them. only you know yourself more than anyone else
Exactly!
I think it's the two things you're talented + you work hard
Saammmme, people dont get how much of an insult that is, because its basically saying "you didn't work for this." :/
You are right but this control thing is so tricky. One also needs to accept when he or she has no control over things. We can control as much... And move on. Learning how to deal with failure is extremely important in order to stay focused.
That's the main principals of Stoicism. Einzelganger made an awesome video about it using the emperor Marcus Aurelius as an example. I highly recommend you check it out.
I agree, be aware of what you *Can* control.
And only be concerned with what you can control. You can control what you do, say, think. You can't *control* what others do, say or think, what the weather is ect.
Yes exactly. Having an external locus of control is very necessary when it is something outside your control that causes bad things to happen. People who have a strong internal locus of control tend to blame themselves for everything that goes wrong, which makes them feel extremely guilty and regretful, and it is hard for them to move past things. I have a strong internal locus of control so i blame my own actions for bad things that happen to me or others - I.e. "it's because I did this that this happened...I should have done this instead, it's my fault" which is sometimes essential because this is also a reflection and learning process, but when it is done in a inappropriate situation, it is damaging. In that case, it's better to think that "I have no control over this thing, it's just bad luck/misfortune that caused this to happen, so let's just try to be positive for now and hope that it doesn't happen again"
A balance of external and internal locus control is what we need.
I always hate these ‘your life sucks because of you and only you’ things because theres people with PTSD and other stuff you can only get because of a traumatic life event that largely someone else has caused. The reality is theres things we can control and things we cant and we have to find a balance but it can be hard when other people try to control things that should only be for you to control and that is going to screw someone up for life.
Wow I never thought of this. I have been told by my teachers, coaches and parents that I'm smart and talented. I have become lazy and unmotivated. While I see some of my peers who get different compliments work their butts off! This will definitely help me get back on track.
Flip lowkey me I left the best sixth form in my country cause I literally have no motivation and am now failing my subjects cause all I do I sleep
Same happened to me. I barely have motivation to eat now
@@Rezolved could be depression tho, get professional help
@@pilipollo6193 tried, made me even more suicidal 🙂 this is a much later me and turns out it was video games. Ever since I forced myself to get out and have busy days, I haven’t had time to play. I’ve been happier and I might have my first gf soon
Same happened with me also brooo
I’ve been told all my life that I’m very intelligent for math, so when I don’t understand something I blame myself, feel bad and I’ve started to low key hate math because of that. I really want to find the joy in numbers again :(
Dude me too i need help fr i feel dumb af
This is so damn relatable
@@wiltuberyt3821 ikr..
Do not worry if you cannot understand the math problem. At least you can say yourself that you stepped towards the problem that only smart and hard work people do. Why don't you go outside and look around the world when you blame to yourself. This is common if you dont understand something
In this video, the guy talks about how YOU are suppose to make your own decisions, but don’t forget that there is nothing bad about asking for help.
I’ve never been a fan of motivational videos but this is just what I needed. I’ve always been “the smart kid” but at the same time I’ve always felt miserable and unmotivated. It’s a weird mix of over confidence and a total lack of it.
I now realize it’s not about how talented you are, but how much work you put into whatever you do that matters.
I still think there’s a key component I’m missing for why my job has gotten so absurdly unbearable and boring but I’m definitely making changes and stop having this mindset of “I could make this in just 1 hour if I wanted to”
Well said. We all need to hear from those who are breaking through into true productivity!
That’s awesome! Thanks for sharing. Those with the biggest smiles tend to get unhappy because they are always are taking care of others but no one is reciprocating the treatment. What you were feeling is normal. If you ever make your way to my channel I’d love to chat!
Im still wondering if this counts as a motivational video or is something similar, because it isn't like "you can do it! you have to believe on yourself", but rather "don't blame things in your life, you choose your own destiny"
Einstein said: "everyone is a genius, but a fish that can't climb a wall ain't stupid" basically don't overestimate yourself or even estimate, have you ever heard Einstein saying I'm a genius and I'm better than everybody? No because he never thought for a single moment that he should estimate himself with what he did because he knew that where he is rn is up to how much he worked not how much gifted he was basically, DONT BE DUMB.
also motivation is an illusion only, will is stronger than that because if you can't inspire yourself by yourself, the succes don't count as yours. I believe if you wanna do something do it don't search on yt people who do that thing instead of you. Like going gym or smth
Problem is that it's hard to keep this up and believe in your hard work when everyone else blames it on talent and natural skills, or even luck
It's important to block out that noise!! People will always act like they know you... believe in yourself and know your truth above all else. That's what I would recommend.
i think people over estimate how much they perform and they have and underestimate luck. I still thing without luck you cant achieve anything, but Luck without the will to work hard if you get a chance is also useless. You can be the most motivated guy ever, if you have to take care of kids, or sick parents or you get sick you are fucked, no matter how motivated you are. Just saying, never underestimate luck
I draw and play basketball and believe me the talent mindset really fucked up everything in the early section.
It's important to talk to the people in your life and let them know that you're doing this and ask them for their support in not undermining it. You can find more resources if you look for growth mindset vs fixed mindset.
It's a lot about perspective. I mean, in some sense even if it is hard work, you were able to work harder or want it more due to factors eventually outside your control. Nothing forces you to view it this way though.
Having an internal locus is offense, its how you attack problems most effectively. Having an external locus is defense, it's a way to protect yourself from psychological damage at unfortunate outcomes. If you only have offense, your eventually gonna take serious damage and have problems with guilt. If you only have defense, you'll never accomplish anything. You need to employ the right one for the right situation.
Yep. I do agree with it. People around me say that I am smart. I was happy about it in the past, but right now I am just passing time not even knowing what to do. I am using the reason to use my intelligence in the right manner to escape everything.
When I was younger I always was one of the top students without doing anything so I was told I was smart and everything by my parents.
Thanks to this video I now know it's their fault if I'm this lazy, I can finally be lazy without feeling guilty, thanks.
Wait, I feel like I missed smth here
Hahahaha nice one
*are you impersonating me?*
Same only it was my parents and the teachers
maybe the situation you're in now isn't completely your fault, but getting yourself out of it is definately your own responsibility.
lol, i see myself in your situation too
There is still a danger to an internal locus of control to be careful of. When they fail, those types of people tend to blame themselves even if things were outside their control. And even if they failed, there's a danger they'll take it hard anyways because they feel like they didn't try hard enough
I know this is from a year ago, but yes, this. I grew up always being told I wasn't trying hard enough, and knew from early on that everything is under my control. So when something wouldn't work out, I'd beat myself up over it and work harder, and then I'd crash and have severe burnout. It's important to be careful too if you have mental health diagnoses or disabilities of any kind. ADHD, CFS, insomnia, and other issues do genuinely affect executive functioning and there isn't much you can do about that, other than work with your limitations.
I agree so much! balance is needed
This may be true, but the fact is that people with a strong internal locus of control don't beat themselves up in the first place. There is a realistic limit to our capabilities, but if you have a strong sense of self worth then you won't give up on trying to push the limits.
Negative narcissism. It’s a huge problem for me. “Everything is my fault because I’m the worst.” It’s still ego!
@@potapotapotapotapotapota wow, you're every person in existence with a strong internal locus of control? or have you just met them all? really, if you're going to make sweeping generalizations like that at least say "most" rather than acting like everyone of a specific group shares any single trait aside from being in that group, because at best you're setting yourself up to look wrong.
this is literally how korea works. they alway say, ''thank you for your hardwork'' or ''try and work harder next time'' or ''i'll do my best today''
now i see the diff
I just realized it now that you said it. 😯
true but they push themselves too hard so
This is why Koreans are scoring super high grades.
Idk.. im a korean student in korea and although we score the highest in sholar activities korea has the highest student suicide rate for oecd countries. Its just competition competition competition. Drives students till the edge. Studying is more like an act to be top of the competition than a way to achieve their dreams. Just... long story in short, students in korea arent really happy and we talk about talents alooot. More than hardwork.
Yeah, this is why i like north korea
I feel like this video just changed my entire way of thinking in a way. Before I can 100% say I had an External Locus, especially since I have been told I am bright and gifted my whole life. After watching this video I feel like my mindset is starting to shift to have a more Internal Locus and I feel much more motivated on the day-to-day basis.
This is such an eye opener for me. The past week I had been procrastinating on work because I was thinking "I have enough time to finish it" but the other day I decided no, need to get it done. So I sat down, removed all my distractions, and got to work. The hardest part was starting but once I got into the working mood I started to fly through my work. The hardest part was this essay I was worried about. But I told myself "I can do this if I am determined" it took hours but at the end looking back I felt so proud of myself and my hard work felt worth it.
Truly, appreciation of your work from yourself is often more beneficial that outsider opinion
I'm currently doing this rn. online class make me unmotivated, fall behind and useless, but exam is around the corner so I had to push myself. Wake up early, sleep late, I have to sacrifice my sleep mood 😂 always believe in "work hard never betray me" hopefully I got 3.00 this semesters.
This is so relatable. I've been stuck in a rut for days now and procrastinating on my work. Thank you for sharing!!!
i literally did the same thing
I’m currently in the same situation right now. I have an essay due next week but I keep telling myself I’ll do it tomorrow again and again and I never get to it. I’ve just lost a lot of motivation as the year progresses and I don’t know what to do about it.
I'm currently trying to get some motivations to start working on my studies before Monday, it's very hard lol
Natural talent vs grit, passion and perseverence
And natural talent PLUS grit, passion, and perseverance equals TRANSCENDED!
@@beybrain7896 i can't sing on a transcended level :(
This all reminds me of the book Grit by Angela Buckworth! Definitely an eye opening book for me , check it out if you can!
Oh dear, not Grit. 😂
Hello the book is a lot and eh imo
The locus of control is such a double-edge sword. I've seen plenty of times where believing that you're in control really does help, but I've also lived through things that TRULY weren't in my control, and on top of the collateral damage from those events, I had to deal with the guilt of believing those events were somehow my fault AND deal with the people around me telling me it was my fault, which lead to them not doing what THEY could control to help with the situation. There's power in seizing what's in your control, but there's freedom in accepting what isn't. And there's danger in being punished for what isn't in your control.
Yeah, I appreciate the video's intent in saying that we need take control of our own lives, but there are going to be things in life you just can't change regardless of your own effort or competence. There's a difference between accepting responsibility and internalizing blame for factors that might simply be beyond your control.
Could not agree more with you.
Definitely, I've struggled with a chronic illness since I was 10 and since I've always had an internal locus of control, I thought maybe I was the problem, while in reality there was absolutely nothing I could have done and it was mostly caused by genetics and my parents neglect
It obviously is just a guideline for whatever situation you're in, if you're unable to figure out whether or not you were in control then you need some help.
Ya I got a "pick yourself up from your bootstrap" vibe from this. Sometimes there is hard limits. Like one job I almost ended up running my car into a tree at top speed to end it because I kept blaming myself and didn't want to take it anymore. The only thing that stopped me was I was fired a week before I plan to do it. It took me about a full decade to completely just give up.
Like I haven't 100% given up because it's about impossible. (To quote a TV show. "It's kind of like peeing your pants on purpose. You spend your whole life trying not to pee your pants, so letting go, peeing your pants on purpose, it's next to impossible.") But after giving up as best as I could. I've been more happy than I have been in years, and a ton of stress has went away to the point my health monitors reflect it. Like I'm disabled, and those with my disability and a college degree statistically 85% of us are unemployed prior virus. Worse now. Like I worry some about what happens when my family gets tired of me. But I help out, I am about to focus on things like the garden and what not. I do what I can. And I'm getting slightly more happier every day.
I restarted college in 2018 and came across this video that changed my mindset throughout my four-year degree program. Now, I am a graduate with a Bachelor of Science in Computer Science and having a career in Software Engineering. The trick is always be aware of praises that disregards your hard work and find ways to trick your mind to stay motivated and in control.
so this is why “gifted and talented” kids are all depressed now
Ayup
Well call me out wont ya hahaha
literally me sis I'm shook and disappointed in myself rn
Not yet but I am on my way if I don't change rught now
well i guess i could give an example of this
My friend who i met at 3rd grade: Knows how to draw well
Some years later
Now (Middle School): Doesn't have the feel of Wanting to draw too much , Still draws but not too often , mostly silent uhh... thats it
This video is very true. my self esteem is very low because I was told since I was a kid that I was gifted or naturally talented...but when I compare myself to others I feel left out in terms of skills. Thanks for this video, I feel so motivated
How about you stop comparing yourself to others?
My parents always told my sis and I we we're intelligent. Now we're not in the 80s anymore but working towards it.
@@beedebawng2556 Thanks,i'm cured
@@unk594
Lol
dude :( this is me now at 23 realising i'm not anything like the "gifted child" they made me believe i was when i was little and it's honestly a slap in the face. i had no idea other people stuggled with the same issue
i rly needed this. i been on my phone literally more than 10 hours a day
Sure you can get rid of your bad habit
Me too😣
Same
Lazy!
Me too 😂
All most there too. I use my phone for so much, but I go on yt way too often
Wow, so my parents calling me smart is my downfall well that's just amazing isn't
You're doing it again.
The fact you hang on that theory too hard is the problem.
The others recognition of your hard work shouldn't determine your success, that's dumb. If you're on a downfall it's 99% you 1% external, learn to blame yourself.
@@slaughter6226 I'm sorry it's just a joke i searched this because I'm losing motivation being in class-A and being the slowest there is making me really disappointed so just wanted to gain some of my motivation back
Send this to them and get a wack
Everyone's parents think their child is smart(for the most part maybe. My Dad thinks im dumb )
I've honestly always resented it when people say I'm talented, this makes complete sense. I've worked extremely hard to be the best I can at art, animation, general film stuff, and music. And people always say "you're so talented", and I correct them and say that I'm skilled. Saying one is talented tends to discredit how hard they worked to get there, and I feel like people tend to say that because they believe it takes talent, and no degree of hard work can get you there. Well, that's entirely false. I suck at being naturally creative, it's only through hard thinking do I come up with an idea for art, animation or music. I would say I have no talent, and I now am very proud of where I am. But I still suck most when I'm confident I can do something with ease rather than hard work
i'm pretty sure they were trying to be nice it wasn't a planned attack on your ego
@@Bigzthegreat And I do act more understanding of that than I sounded like in my comment. I am very understanding of where people come from when they say that. The reason why I make sure to shut them down is because that viewpoint can harm them too.
If someone defaults to thinking that one has to have talent to do what I do, then they're wrong. The problem is, they may think they can't do what I do because they "have no talent.". But that's a harmful way to look at it. If you think you can do it, then you can do it regardless of talent. Though it may take longer. Which is worse than not even trying even though you want to, because you think someone can only get there through talent
As someone who works hard, it's sort of the validation of my work from others that matters most to me. Either that, or knowing that I taught someone something for the better, or helped them. So when people say I'm talented, it isn't validating of my hard work, and it honestly hurts. But I do understand that they don't mean it that way, but it does feel like a way of complimenting the creation while accidentally undermining the creator. It's not like I tripped while carrying my paint and "oops i made a masterpiece". If that were the case, I may not even show it because it's not genuine to me without the work
Sorry for making the rant even longer. But saying I'm talented sounds like a default line from a robot. Genuine reactions are what matter to me, not what they choose to show, what they actually feel. They may like it in reality, but even if they overplay how much they like it too much, then it just doesn't *feel* like a compliment
..I think that's just some common diction, no need to fuss about it. I see your point though
Can we take a moment of silence for us "gifted" kids who are now suffering in college.
yuki: Hell, no. "Blame your parents for what you are; blame yourself for what you become". OR, you can spend your entire adult life blaming your parents, your childhood for the problems you have in adult life.
And, btw, I don't know how old you are, but NO ONE cares that you were a "gifted child". As an adult, you get zero points for that because so what? it's like the older guy who keeps bragging about what a jock he was in high school. In HIGH SCHOOL? BFD.
arx754 you missed the point by a mile
@@arx754 r/wooosh
@HauntedALX You forgot the part where you have no idea what any of the answers are supposed to be, and yet you still pass the class because everyone did terrible on the test too.
@@jasonyacinthe1778 the point of r/wooosh went over your head
Tough times don’t last. Tough people do. - Robert H. Schuller
Home Business University
Great quote
Tough times last until the world ends. Tough people end up in graves.
hmm unless if u live in iran then tough people die killed raped murdered jailed, and tough times lasted 40 years so far ....
Tough times can last, but you can possibly minimize them w/ hard work & learning from life’s lessons
-Fab
I never applied myself in school because I always got decent grades and kept hearing I was very smart, now I have serious procrastination and motivation problems. This video made me feel validated
But that's not what the study concluded. You're not a 5th Grader and the study never said anything about long lasting effects.
You would probably acknowledge if you do something with hard work.
A far closer explanation why you're lazy could simply be that because you are smart and did not need to work hard you simply didn't learn to motivate yourself like other people did.
@@op-physics that's what I thought the point of the study was though.
I feel you
Lol but your still blaming your condition on your surroundings, what other people have told you, rather than realizing you were in control the whole time.
Like Jessica Urban said, your comment is continuing to blame your own attitudes on external factors which is, I imagine, the opposite thing that the authors of the video would suggest you do
I'm 15 and been called smart all the time and I am but I always struggled to do stuff like cleaning and studying but after self reflection I'm trying to do better and this video and others are helping me understand why I'm been like this and how to do better
Its weird because i told people that i learned to draw by practicing over and over again... nobody believed me they say im just talented 🤷♂️
Well, your practice mattered, obviously. But not everyone can improve at the rate you did. Talent is real. But it can only do so much.
Everyone is talented at something just to a degree, but it takes hard work to get where you want to be
@@navaneethmkrishnan6374 everyone can learn anything but be a master is another case
Well then I will believe you
It fucking sucks when that happens, it's like they use "oh you have a talent" as an excuse for them not to try and work on themselves
The teacher tells you that you succeeded because you worked hard...
IT FILLS YOU WITH DETERMINATION!
Knowing that mice might get cheese one day IT FILLS YOU WITH DETERMINATION.
*YES*
Once a teacher said that to me after i got 15/15 on a small test, little did she know that i only studied for that test on my way to school lol
Is this undertale?
But okay it fills me with.......
DETERMINATION.
699 noice
To be fair many studies have shown that a purely internal locus of control is also problematic and even as unhealthy as an external one. This can lead to anxiety and a really hard time dealing with loss or failure because why couldn’t you stop it? Sometimes bad things happen by chance but living exclusively internally will make you feel guilt and shame over it. A balance is needed.
truuee i struggle w this a lot
This is very smart and insightful. I'm glad I read this comment.
Wow. This was eye opening. I was also told I was smart. And, when things went south, that that was just the way I was. Also, I've started to notice that I don't give myself credit for working hard, especially if I don't get the result I want. I will focus on working hard and celebrating that and getting better at motivation. ✨
This applies well to jiujitsu. “Hard work beats talent when talent refuses to work hard.” Nothing comes easy to me in jiujitsu, so when I achieve something, I know that I earned it. Sometimes being a “prodigy” (or being called one) can be a curse. I’ve seen a lot of naturally gifted athletes quit when they realize that their gifts can only take them so far.
I used to pass a sign every time I got back from Jiu Jitsu that had that exact quote on it. Very strange coincidence.
Same in esports too when we had a teammate that is being called by the fans/public a prodigy often times he won't practice as hard anymore, won't participate in team scrims and their gameplay will fall off by next season and get replaced.
How are gonna teach to folks who had a habit of winning without much work? Do you still treat them the same as others?
Prince Naseem Hamed was the perfect example of this. He was an insanely gifted boxer who made others look like fools. But when he found his limits, he just quit.
Yes
This is so true. People saying I was talented made me lazy and arrogant. Need to try getting things in control again.
P.S. I know the people who praised me are not at fault.
Agree
Absolutely relatable.. but yeah, blaming them won't help now.. because we are in control!
@@gitarthasarma7568 So true! My parents did many things wrong, but that is in the past now and everything that happens from now on is my responsibility and mine alone. Let's not blame ourselves for mistakes we have made, and WILL make along the way. The only thing we have to blame ourselves for is for not trying. As many times as it takes.
Completely agree, happened to me a lot,it rubs you of your discipline,and makes you complacent,it sucks😣
but they also kind of are at fault cause when you are a kid you accept what grown ups around tell you as true and then you end up believing that
Realizing it is untrue, that's is your effort, not working against it would be your fault
Same as them not realizing it is wrong is their fault
So basicallyy...
“WhEN WiLL YOU LEARN THaT YOUR AcTiOns HAVE CONSeQueNCESS?!?!”
Plot twist: Your actions actually don't have consequences and that screaming kid has been leading humanity astray which is all part of his plot to rule the world.
Mind: Blown
@strontiumXnitrate ok buddy
I don't even understand the leaps people make in topics sometimes.
@strontiumXnitrate I don't think you get the reference...
Sartre
This is so true. So many people blame society or their lack of talent for their failures in life (school, work, relationships etc), instead of looking inward for flaws they can work on.
"You're talented"
Is pretty much the worst, damaging insult there can ever be, huh?
Yup
That will be the powerful catchphrase of a villain lol
No
What if you say it as you're talented and you have developed that talent efficiently. As in I'm not just saying you're talented and you don't have to do anything about it.
@@SunhiMoon 😂😂😂
I've been told that "you're smart and hard working" since i was a kid, "BUT" I felt really pressured because of everyone's high expectations on me.
I studied and worked hard mostly to meet my family's expectations, been a consistent honor student but I felt like i was working hard just because I need to get high grades otherwise,I'll disappoint my parents
I was the opposite, you can say I was a rebel. I was told the same but would be immediately scolded for any failures, I didn't want any expectations from anyone just the freedom of my own choices. Not studying too hard, but hard enough to pass was one of them.
ya. One word: asian
Green Ghost is that you from Khan???
Same. At my turning point i have no clue of my career. I still am blank about my future choices.
@@malksmogendavid4470 I'm not sure who khan is thoo, I'm probably not
"Cleaning up your room involves cleaning up far more than your room."
- Jordan B. Peterson
His room is a mess. Look up anything he has webcamed from his room.
@@atviking Anything?
i agree with this. it happened to me today.
@@atviking Well he knows the solution but he himself has struggles, but it will help.
Felt that
I had always felt like being told I was smart all the time in school was extremely damaging for me and hindered me throughout my adult life thus far. This gives me the actual reason why. Thanks for making this video.
the most confusing thing about me is, that when someone says smth negative to me, it becomes positive, when someone says smth positive, I get it as a "I've done enough" feeling and I start to lose motivation
Me, basically
Where is thy tommy gun, joseph joestar?
Same bro
lmao like same omg
WELL. FCK, SOMETIMES THIS HAPPENS TO ME
Part of the reason why we procrastinate is because we find the work too overwhelming for us. Break it down into little parts, then focus on one part at a time. If you still procrastinate on the task after breaking it down, then break it down even further. Soon, your task will be so simple that you’ll be thinking “Gee, this is so easy that I might as well just do it now!”
Either that, or you'll now have a to-do list that's ten pages long and looks overwhelming for an entirely new reason.
I actually just find that there are other things I'd rather be doing
Mindset Mastery I Think there is alimit to how much You Can break things down. I often find something simple like taking a shower or eating lunch overwhelming.
@@katrinepetersen2566 I think you can still break those down. You can start the process of eating lunch by first checking what's in the refrigerator, for example.
@@katrinepetersen2566 No offense, but if you think eating or taking a shower is overwhelming.... you will be eaten alive by life.
My whole life my parents told me i was very smart and talented when i started loosing all of my motivation two or three years ago and it kept getting worse. Just after seeing this i already feel better, can't wait until i completely aknowledge this :D
Have a nice day, please take care !💖
Same I can't even study anymore
Exactly the same situation
Question is, how is it going now, 11 months later?
Blaming them is also external locus
It's about time you realise that you are not very smart or even remotely smart!
I'm proud of you my son!
Dad and Mom
This is so real. I always was that kid who would get the highest scores in exams and assignments without studying much. I even got the highest score in a state test of my entire school and one of the highest in the whole country.
I could choose any career in any college I wanted and I would certainly get a scholarship if I asked.
Seeing how everything was pretty much handed to me in a silver plate, I just accepted the first college who called me and didn't even consider any other option. Now that I'm in the 4th semester of my career, I absolutely regret joining the university I did, I feel frustrated and that I was played, but now I see that I played myself.
Always work as hard as you can even for the things that seem unimportant, for every single little thing will eventually have some point to it.
Being called smart all the time has taken a toll on me, people expect too much from me but I have no motivation to do anything
NV2 Noogets that’s the exact same situation I’m in! I’m kinda relieved to find out I’m not the only one feeling this way.
You guys aren’t smart you just work hard
Neznug A thanks, I’ll work harder from now on ☺️
@@neznuga4859 thanks I guess lol
That's the sickening truth of my life
As someone who’s been told I’m ‘smart and talented’ my whole life I’m so thankful to see this video. I’ve been struggling so much.
This is the reason why every time my relatives would say that the reason why I got into a top university is because of the "smart genes" I got from them, I'd always argue that it was my effort that got me where I am now.
Can you write a short summary of the video? Because I do not speak English, but the comments attracted me to the topic 😊
@@PZN-6 It talks about how kids are relying on being smart and all will get them through life, but the real thing that will help you through life is the effort
@@yelo648 Thanks
It most certainly was your hard work & dedication! School is hard you should be proud ‼️
Wow, what narcissistic relatives.
I totally understand this, but I still am procrasinating on my assignments and waking up on the morning.
I’m doing research on motivation because I lack it. Another part of motivation is you brain wants dopamine you get this from many sources. If you get all your dopamine from being on a phone 6 hours a day then you will now want to find any other sources of dopamine. I hope this can help you a little bit.
doing schoolwork decreases my dopamine to negative levels
@@aydensyverson8992 but if you're doing research on something because you lack it, looks like you already have motivation :)
“Work smarter, not harder”
Me: ima just throw these darts til something hits
._.
Did you hit them yet bro? it had been a damn month, man
EliteDeltaTeam -me guessing and checking during the math test be like
@June The legend says he is still throwing
You still throwing?
This thinking also increases the chances of depression because when something doesn't go right the person starts to feel depressed thinking that he is the only one to blame for his situation but this isn't fully right, there are external factors too.
Definitely. This is a really important factor that often gets ignored.
This is very true. The reality is there is a combination of work ethic and talent and luck. People want to attribute any success they have to hard work to boost their own self esteem.
that’s why you need to keep the mindset that even if you do fail, keep going cus it’ll always pay off in the long run. So yes this isn’t the only factor, your mindset is important to
Yes. Me.
@@rudolfarubisou6041 lmao im sorry you don't choose to be depressed
I was always told I was smart and gifted. As a result I did not try, and worse, I am reluctant to try anything challenging in case I fail and prove everyone wrong.
i was diagnosed with ADHD and Dyslexia in 2nd grade. I was in the special ed program all throughout grade school and I was always told “it’s not your fault you’re doing poorly in school, other kids don’t have to deal with the same hurtles” Now i’m failing in college because I have no motivation to do my work and I just realized it’s because i’ve always been told that my failure is never my fault. Obviously nothings going to change overnight but thank you for changing my perspective, I hope this helps me stay motivated in the future.
Hey.. this is 6 months later, are you doing okay in college and stuff right now?. . . Try getting help, don’t talk to someone that will keep saying that it’s not your fault and stuff, I don’t think I could help but I hope everything gets better ❤️
@@-rainer Thanks for your reply! yes! things have gotten much better, I powered through last semester and got decent enough grades. Found out that I’ve been struggling in school because i genuinely hate it 🤣. Over the summer I applied myself to my passions and began a career in videography with the help of a mentor. Ive come to realize that I need to work on things that i’m passionate about in order to work my hardest. I have to do one more year left in school and It’s been tough but i know that once I graduate I’ll be able to chase a career and become someone I’m proud of. So much motivation in that epiphany.
@@spellicup8297 I request another update haha. I think I might have undiagnosed/untreated ADHD and it’s really ruining my perception of things… Did you get any medication? Or are you just coasting through things with ADHD?
1 year later, how are ya doing?
@@lrn5152 Hi, I have the same trouble and yes, I was medicated, and well, It helps but you need to remember, you are what you do, medication isn't everything.
What you are saying is true but there comes times when even after doing all the hard work, things just don't go your way. And then you start criticising yourself and feeling depressed that it was all your fault. So for those moments you, need to remember that not everything in your life is in your control. 🙂
Agreed. It seems more like what the video is touching upon is optimism and hope. This seems like a better way of framing it because it allows a person to understand that *some* things can be outside of their control, but that despite those external barriers, they can push forward with the expectation that they will overcome.
Yeah, sometimes I can beat myself up over being depressed, because I feel like it's my own fault, even if I did all the 'right' things to prevent it. But I'm trying to get to the place where I realise that depression is not my fault. Sometimes, external factors (like covid isolation) are at fault, but I still have some control in doing the things that will eventually get me out of it, I don't believe I am completely out of control.
Also there are probably things of which you don't control the issue, and persuading you it is thanks to you would lead to bad decision. Casino for example, or becoming so overconfident in your skill that you don't take safety measure seriously
This makes me think of what I tell the team I coach in Overwatch. I always tell them to buy into the 30/30/40 rule. 30% of your matches, you will get curbstomped no matter HOW hard you try (due to external factors like a smurf on the enemy team, teammates have no chemistry with each other, etc.). 30% of your matches, you will absolutely roll the enemy team, even if you feel like you're not doing anything (ie: everyone's just clicking together, you have a smurf on your team, etc.).
40% of your matches are what determine your winrate and, ultimately, your success. Don't take losses personal, because those could be just that 30% of auto-losses, but learn from them and use that experience to swing that 40% your way; don't take wins personal, because those could just be that 30% of auto-wins, but use that confidence and momentum to help you focus on the next match and being that X-Factor that swings it for your team!
That reminds me of one of my favorite quotes: "It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not weakness. That is life." - Captain Jean-Luc Picard
It seems to me, then, that teaching children that they're "smart" and "talented" and "gifted", instead of hardworking, is actually a form of child abuse. It deeply harms them in the long term.
I was told all my life, by everyone around me growing up, that I was TALENTED. Talented at this, talented at that, genius at this, smart at that. Now I've done practically nothing with my life. Never finished what I started. Luckily with therapy I've dug myself out of the hole of depression and daily suicidal thoughts, and I'm going to have to teach myself everything that my parents failed to teach me. I will use affirmations every single day that I'm hard working, determined, and persistent.
This really helped me a lot. Just wanted to let you know, thank you. I’m not one for Disney movie endings but somehow this struck me. Just, thanks.
@@mickyfucs9028 same! Though i still have a long way to go, I'll try my best! More power to you!!❤️❤️
Agreed! My parents didn't really parent me a lot because they were very busy working and thought I would do fine which I did in middle school but then I got really depressed for a really long time and now I have to be the one to dig myself out of it.
i have to do this too! It is very very hard because we lack basic knowledge and we're grown ups with growns ups problems. Just remember that your parents did their best and didnt know any better.
Let's do it. I'm also on my way.
This is so true! Understanding the Locus Rule completely changed the way I approach challenges. I used to blame external factors for everything, but now I realize how much power I have over my own success. It's all about taking control and staying motivated, even when things get tough!
My mother used to tell my sister that she's very smart. When I asked her about me, she'd always use a different adjective: I was told my entire life that I wasn't smart but I was a hard worker. I felt bad as a child (feared math and economics all my life because my father told me I couldn't do it). I But after seeing this video, I know how it helped me be better than her today.
Today, I'm in my final year of university, getting my degree in economics with a minor in math next year.
Got my economics degree this year and I had a really tough time. It was always motivational if someone called me a hard working student and to not give up. Best of luck to you!
Kashish Hashim Maybe this time instead of calling her intelligent call her hardworking !
Spread love and positivity ✌🏻
I think there's another problem, you seem to compare yourself to her. "Better than her" you say.
I think it's great to compete to better ourselves but when you start to insert "I'm better than her' or 'dumber than her', I think it's problematic. Personally, it gives me the vibe of feeling 'superior' or 'inferior' which doesn't sound like an healthy way of thinking...
I read somewhere a quote along these lines: 'You should compete against yourself, no others.' See how much you've improved from your past self.
Way to stand up for your sister lol.
I'm so sorry but when you grow up feeling inadequate, being called dumb by your own parents and compared at all points with your sister, the comparison spirit settles deep down in your heart as a child. These are the emotional wounds that will take time to heal, but her behavior towards me and her feeling of being so superior than me doesn't help.
Basically take responsibility for everything and dont ever blame your circumstances.
Kinda the reverse of the “awarded for just participating” mentality some schools have these days.
Easier said than done :(
This is so inaccurate. You sound like an unsatisfied 55 year old geezer.
water at rest always forms a level surface. and they faked the moon landing on us.. we all need to take ownership of the problem. everyone
Just don't blame at all... unless you need someone to pay the bill. :P But otherwise, just learn from what happened and try make it better in the future.
I was told I wasn’t smart enough to get into medical school all through high school and undergrad, so I worked really hard for about 10 years since I believed that the hard work would pay off. Never got into med school, and wasted 10 years of my life on something that was never going to happen. So I think there is something to be said for not achieving your goals even IF you work your hardest. Unfortunately that was a lesson I learned really late in life, but now I use every chance I get to inform others.
As weird as it seems, out of all the comments yours givews me the most hope for my daughter. I'm currently expecting my first child and I really want to implement the Locus Rule with her to set her up for success.
Hearing that you had a dream and that you could work for at least 10 years towards it shows me that determination like that really lasts. As a "gifted" person who struggles with motivation, I didn't think it was possible to chase a dream like that and you just proved to me that people CAN.
Thank you :)
I’m in the same boat currently. 6 years into trying to get an engineering degree, and I’m still failing classes. I’m trying really hard, but seeing all the smart people skate by with no problems really makes me question if I chose the right path.
For me it's a bit of the opposite, I'm 3 years into med school and now realizing this may not be for me. I haven't been trying my hardest lately but I feel constantly confused if the reason for that is my lack of motivation and disciple or just a general loss of interest
@@theclockworksolution8521 connect with THEM..
Buddy up...praying for u
Sure, but you should also consider that maybe the person who told you you weren't smart enough, coincidentally predicted that you weren't going to enter. Therefore, it doesn't mean you're actually not smart enough. Maybe it was something else. Maybe something you d I didn't realize on time. So yeah, hope the best for you
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@Mojeed Bankole thanks for the recommendation
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Hello
Your videos honestly motivate to get on my grind. Not a lot of videos on TH-cam have that same effect. Keep it up
I have never seen such a Intelligent comment section ever in my life
the earth is flat
@@V_agent14 no u
People getting roasted down here
Quite an ironic comment with respect to the video eh?
Step1: make a video
Step2: turn off comment section
Here you go
I’ve always been told I was smart, but I had no confidence and never thought I was actually smart. Because of this, I worked hard at trying to fit the role society told me I should be. It’s always hard work that pays off in the end not just “being smart”.
I got this story to my whole heart. but now I just want to know who is my self cz all this time I trust myself
Wow I relate to this so much
All throughout grade school and middle school I went to the same school, so naturally being with the same group of kids I was known as the “smart girl”
During middle school my friend group was basically just girls who were also smart, and the competition between all of us caused me so many mental illnesses and stopped me from doing any other activities bc all my time was spent doing schoolwork and over studying
I was always asked for homework help, and the teachers knew me as the smart girl as well (even to the point where things would be said like the likelihood of some rare event happening was more likely than me flunking a test)
Anyways fast forward to eighth grade I cut those girls out and started doing other things with my time (playing volleyball, spending time with my sister, watching Marvel movies with my new friend, etc.)
My grades lowered a little bit (they were all still mid nineties), but the people I surrounded myself with helped my anxiety and confidence so much
Then COVID ended eighth grade early, but I still ended up getting valedictorian
Freshman year was all online so it was easy, but my procrastination was horrible
Sophomore year started off okay but my mental illnesses exhausted me so bad I legit dropped out of high school less than two years after being known as the “smart girl”
Now all I’m trying to do is get my feet back under me in terms of exploring my interests and being motivated to do anything other than sit on my phone or sleep
So yea there’s my story, you’re not alone :)
@@courtney9321 Damn
My mantra is “I am the captain of my ship and I control my destiny”. these words I say to myself all the time and it motivation me work harder and want to be successful.
1:42 "ETERNAL locus of control", infinite, everlasting, relentless. Truly a place of power mere mortals could only dream of besting. xD
Marvin Elsen I was looking for at least five minutes to find someone commenting about this
You dare question my locus of control .... Mortal?
How in all my procrastination did I think this would help
Try this : everytime you're about to procrastinate, admit (to yourself) that you wanted to do something else, but that if you do not do your duty, a consequence will kill you sooner or later, and complete your goal (it's quality doesn't matter so much, your goal is to get rid from the bad, sad and boring feelings) . If it's quite long to achieve it quickly, create a activity that keeps you in touch with your progress but do not let you away from what you have to do nor let you rest. Make it a routine, and maybe at an year's period (roughly), procrastination will be something from the past. Peace! :-)
Crossetler _ In other words
“Having trouble with procrastinating? Try not procrastinating”
Luke Ricker Take the guys advice. Pessimism gets people nowhere. Also not trying to be a dick.
Crossetler _ lol I’m a freelancer and pursuing creative careers and sometimes when I’m on my 5th hour of scrolling on my phone I stop, and say out loud “Matt what are you doing, you’re wasting your time, this is do or die time and if you do not ‘do’ then you will die.” Is that constructive or am I insulting myself and sabotaging potential productivity?
Procrastination is about managing emotions, don’t know how though. I spend more time learning about procrastinating than trying not to procrastinate.
Saved it to watch later but never got motivated to watch the video
Then did u comment and leave
I wish I was procrastinating TH-cam viewing
Lol
Yess😂😂same..
Lmao
**WARNING**
The first half of the video literally is the first 5 pages of the “mindset” by Dr. Carol Dweck, who was in the experiment.
TH-camr doesn’t link to Professor and research sources.
Daniel Sebastian Michealas Rian Knox yup ! Learnt it in psychology class
Me too
Yep! I read that book
Duh, he wants to sell it as his own ideas "because he is so smart"
Just had to read this book for 11th grade English D:
"You'll never have issues with motivation in your life ever again" bold words to say to a person with ADHD. That mentality isn't very wise, because then it turns lack of motivation into something that's not supposed to happen ever, instead of acknowledging that sometimes motivation is lacking and we need to know how to deal with it.
yeah i was watching this like “wow thanks my chemical imbalances completely went away just now”
Hey! how do someone with adhd can be comsistent?
@@studysquare3555 What do you mean?
@@Iamtk777 I mean when one has adhd it's hard to maintain consistency. Is there a way someone with adhd can maintain consistency? I am sorry for the typo
@@studysquare3555 Ah. Well, external pressure has helped me, also Ritalin. Different people respond better to different treatments, though.
Yes, an internal locus of control is very important. I believe it to be necessary for success. But it is not sufficient. It's a lie people tell themselves, that you can achieve absolutely anything with just enough motivation. You also need discipline, consistency over a long time, and bravery to get over the many obstacles and failures laid before you. You will also come across moral dilemmas, that many people overlook or find rationales for. This requires different strategies than just getting motivated.
Yeah but without any motivation, taking on any of those difficulties is a lot more difficult.
@@yukikanegawa7470 Yeah, that's why they said "necessary, but not sufficient"
Relatable, I turned down jobs due the business's ethics not aligning with my own ethics
wow, i didn't know this and i clearly needed to know this. im glad i watched this. im actually in the process of changing myself for the better instead of getting the negativity onto me. it's better to move forward than to let yourself be drowned in that darkness!
My parents have literally told me all my life that I'm smart and gifted, never that I'm a hard worker. Now I'm a senior in high school dealing with extremely low motivation, depression, and laziness. I'm going to start rewarding myself anytime I work hard rather than when I'm praised for being smart.
“It’s not your fault” = don’t do anything
“It’s all your fault” = don’t do anything
FACTS
Still trying to get over that second one.
You have to do this you have to do that but trust me, do it or not do it. You will regret it both.
Søren Kierkegaard
The "correct" locus is 50/50 not "100 percent internal". The idea that a human can have 100 percent control over the outcome of a situation seems, dangerous, if not untruthful. It seems as unbalanced as a 100% external locus human.
In ancient times, fight or flight survival bred our genes. If it wasn't for humanity's instinct to react to it's surroundings and innovate to remain agile, a different species would be dominating the earth. It's the reason we do so much today despite not knowing the true long term effects, it's in our nature. I'm not saying we need to be 100% internally driven since human behavior isn't really binary, but a lot of our motivation to act does stem from our belief that that action will be influential.
things like weather the neighborhood and the people you converse with has a massive influence over the sales you make and how, this is not being negative or blaming others its simple fact, now if that person didn't do the same amount of doors because they got discouraged and therefore didnt knock on the same amount of doors that is and external locus of control. but you can still acknowledge the fact that facts and circumstances play a part and still not get demotivated, all as long as you did the same amount of doors you know you would have if you sold alot. the human brain can overrule its instinct. if they had said it was a rough place to sell in or the weather wasn't ideal but theyre sure if they do the same number of doors tomorow and the places or people are a diffrence region that fit the product then i dont see whats wrong with that
100 percent Agreed!
Yep. Recognizing external loci of control is an essential part in how to recover from heavy situations. The "it wasn't your fault" or the "putting things into perspective" is all about transeffering internal to external loci so as to recognize that no, sometimes one cannot move mountains.
When you see those people that are extremely stubborn and motivated? They either never had a setback in their life, or they operate on guilt of some past transgression.
Either way, I'm fine with how I am. I don't want to be more motivated. I'm stressfree, can burst into action and do incredible things for short amounts of time, but I am above all, not very determined. If I during my creation spree cannot see a further path, there is none and I can go sleep easy.
I feel like the important message is that you're in control of the things that you do, and as long as you do that, you should be okay more often than not. Overall this can lead to a person putting their happiness more into things that they can control (like starting a new hobby) over things they can't control (whether their sports team wins or not).
You can't control all your consequences in life, but you can control your attitude to these consequences. You always have some control
You had me, until the last line. "Do this, and you'll never have problems with motivation again." That's a tall promise. I am not an expert, but it seems that many factors affect motivation, this is just one effective one.
I've been rewiring my brain to get an internal locus of control and I never realized it. I've been saying, "I'm not talented, it's been hard work and practice." when someone compliments me with "You're so talented!"
I need to start doing this
@@SunhiMoon shut up u gave Corona
@@myyt7590 Why would you say that??? Is it because the Korean characters in her name? Because you’re racist pice of crap for blaming Corona on her when you don’t even know her
@@herossoup6027 who said I don't know her
@alexiawrldNot motivated, it helps to recontextualize that its up to me to pursue something or up to me to practice. Things don't feel so unreachable or out of my control in that way.
This is how an ego is developed, believing someone other than yourself and trusting talent more than hard work.
Nah
Agreed
not ego. moreso laziness.
basically get someone to tell me “i worked hard” whenever i’m not motivated
you can tell that to yourself and it still works
@A N-ice Bunny ive been there, but why wouldnt you want to feel motivated? if you gonna live why not have some fun while at it
ARMY! 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
Ur working hard ❤
Fatima De Anda Dude come on, I’m all in for kpop and all but the profil pic isn’t even BTS related and the video neither yet you still need to write down that your a “ARMY”. This is why I don’t stan BTS that much
I haven't always been told that I'm really smart, I struggled a fair bit as a young kid, but as I got closer to my pre-teens and teens I started doing better and told I was smart. When I was doing my A-Levels, I really struggled, things weren't adding up, I was smart, but I couldn't do it effortlessly. Luckily we were in a position to hire a tutor but it felt humiliating, like working hard was a last resort. Here I am now, post watching this video having failed my degree on my final year because I figured I'd be smart enough to do it. I didn't put in the time or effort despite knowing that I had to, I didn't feel equipped to do that.
How did TH-cam know this is what I needed?
Same
Your microphone is on.
It’s Delightful same
TH-cam has us now
Results day 😫 TH-cam knows I sucked...
I loved this video, it reminded me of how motivated Naruto was & it was always because he worked hard to make up for the fact that he wasn’t as gifted as the rest & it resulted in him exceeding everyone else
Except Naruto was actually gifted and he was only able to win the battle that to him represented proving that hard work could beat talent (Naruto vs Neji) using the power he was born with (he wasn't exactly borned with The Nine Tailed Fox but you get the idea).
sakura too
@@thirdeye440 he still put in work. If he hadn’t pushed himself he wouldn’t have been able to accomplish his feats.
I think its the same as with steroids. You can take it all you want, they alone wont grow you muscles.
This video hit me, and I really felt it. These past few years I have had serious motivation problems (not due to depression or anything like that), and it was tough for me to even bother with working on things.
All my life I was told that I was smart, I am the smart kid in class, I excelled above everyone else. I was even in the gifted and talented class because I had a higher intelligence quotient than most of the school! So if I am so smart, why can't I get anything done? I always looked for ways to improve motivation, but nothing worked
Recently though I have been slightly improving with motivation, but not much. I seriously contemplated and pondered the times I did do well and was motivated. I noticed that there were certain things I was motivated to do, such as writing a book. Everyone congratulated me for working hard, and that I got farther than any of them. Sure, I may be continuing because it is a hobby I enjoy, but it's not something I do because of intelligence.
Thank you for sharing this, and I will most certainly apply this more to my life.
ReaGame I share similar circumstances to yours. I too am still struggling to keep my motivation high, and have been looking for ways to resolve this issue. Thanks for sharing,
I hope to make it!
This is so accurate! For my whole life people told mt that I am talented and smart and now I am a very lazy person. I find motivation when I am doing something new. Because thats a result of work and not "experience I have". Statements in this video are 100% accurate!
For those who don't know how to start: A way to practice leaving the habit of letting the outside control us (poor internal locus) could be to do something that challenges us, any activity which we don't feel gifted and talented about, stick to it and as the video said, make a conscious recognition of progress. Identify how it feels, record and remember consciously and then try to reply in our day to day activities. ❤️❤️ Hope it helps. Sorry for bad English. Best vibes!!!!
This is very helpful! Thanks
I think you’re English Is amazing 🤩
amazing english, even better help❤️ thank you
Well thats the thing, for people with motivation issues it's hard to stick to something to notice the progress. That's the problem I have with this "solution," it makes sense on the surface level but when you think about it it just breaks down into "If you wanna get motivated to to put in effort, put in effort to get yourself motivated" which of course makes zero sense.
@@chanceplace6057 you have to put the effort somehow. Putting yourself into the proper state of mind with the help of correct and valid information (for yourself) is half the work. Recognize that excuses will appear (as a natural process) still they are not excuse enough to stop you and understand putting some effort somehow is essential. Pick your effort
Since psychology is always a neat subject, I'll throw some thoughts out on the board
Not saying I'm right or wrong, but-
Maybe lack of motivation comes from the constant stream of society telling you to study and work hard all the time if you want to succeed. At what point is success? And what does an individual really want? What if one's own enjoyments give them more happiness than studying and working hard, and they wish to spend more time doing what they enjoy instead of working towards something that they're not sure they'll be happy with in the future?
I was looking at a grave, and this man had died in his middle life. His moto was sweet and simple, about waking up, going fishing, tell a story around the campfire, laugh with friends, etc etc, and repeat.
But then, his life had ended, but atleast he had been doing what he wanted to.
That got me thinking, what if I put aside what I enjoyed to stress myself out while working and working towards a goal I'm uncertain about, because how can I be certain about something I've never experienced before?
What if I happen to pass away amidst that working, always working towards success and putting aside the things that make me happy?
That's a scary thought for me, to end up dying because I was caught up in the work hard, study hard, play on Saturdays and Sundays and repeat.
I find myself happiest when I'm enjoying the little things in life. Not getting those big bucks or making phenomenal achievements, but when my mind is quiet and not thinking ahead about anything, just staying in the moment and enjoying what I'm doing. I'd rather pass away in the midst of that lifestyle.
If I can't do something, then oh well, I'll keep trying until they kick me out, and then find a different thing I enjoy. And if I can't find anything and end up in a box under a bridge, atleast I'll appreciate the universe and existence there.
But that's just something I pieced together from listening to others. I'm tired of seeing people who work and study hard all their life like they are told to, but yet their miserable attitude is unparalleled and they rely on outside substances like alcohol and drugs to ease their mind. Is that really the ideal life?
The American Culture has always been work hard, study hard, and you'll achieve success. Yet America also has an incredibly high rate of suicide, drug-usage, alcoholics, etc etc. Seeing someone who fits the perfect outcome of the working and studying hard complex is like finding a jem in the rough, but even they seem to be detached from their own emotions and exchange basic emotions like love, happiness, sadness, and anger, for reaching towards more and more success. Success really seems to be a negative, when it is held at such a high pedastool. In fact, success in one area can mean failure in another. The success of fossil fuels meant the downfall of our atmosphere, the success of technology meant the decrease in face to face interaction, the success of finding the perfect formula for a perfect human meant the downfall of people's mental healths, because we are not perfect, and when we do not fit the perfect formula, we are punished by our own thoughts for not being perfect.
Maybe we should stop living for society, and start living for ourselves.
Basically, I would recommend to people seeking advice to do what you enjoy more than what you work for. We don't 'HAVE' to do anything in life, the only thing we have to do is breathe.
I want what this guys been having
@@raze-rsharppe446 lmao what do you mean
This comment is underrated and should deserve more likes cause i think it would be relatable to some people
@@goldensteam5993 Agreed
Absolutely love this!! And I agree 👏🏻
4:09 oh hey look you drew me in the middle of the picture! Thanks
You're in left corner too!
@@insanity4981 omg how did u know, that's exactly how I looked as a baby! Wow!!
@@deadpaul6587 AWW U LOOKED SOOO ADORABLE!!
@@deadpaul6587 so time has hardened your hear... skin.
I love how this video is about motivation and this comment section is basically people like me who aren't even ready to try thinking positively
I was a gifted kid at school. None of the classwork was challenging for me and I did all of the tests in less than half the time as the other students and scored very high. I never felt the need to study and still don't, but I've been doing other things like art and making a suit of armor. Armor making actually is pretty challenging, especially because I've chosen to do a custom design that's way more complicated than everyone else and it's very hard. I've spent more than 20 hours on the pattern and still, it's not perfect yet
How is the armor coming along?
@@cashewboi8567 I do not remember what the video was about but the armor turned out awesome. It took about 80 hours and I made everything except a helmet and I bring it to ren fairs. It's really fun
Through all my life I was told I was brilliant and that I was a genius. I took great pride in that. But truthfully I was always painfully unhappy and full of resentment. Despite believing in my own intelligence, I felt that things were owed to me for some kind of divine reason, and that I was being wronged by reality when things did not go my way even if I had not put any effort into making my dreams happen. I find it sad that it took me so long to realize how that kind of mentality made me suffer and that it made me a worse person to myself and others. But I am certainly glad I am now able to see there is no real merit in just "being" and not "doing".
I'll endeavor to become the hard worker I should always have been.
I feel there should be a rational balance. People should know that they can do as much as they can for their life. But when they fail, they should not only think of their own faults, they should also take the external factors into consideration, because at the end, the results are always the outputs of our hard work and the feedback from the external world.
perfectly said. if the salesman had scheduled themselves to work the neighborhood on the sunny day and saved an apartment building for a rainy one, now he suddenly is in control of how the weather affects his sales (those times). other times, unexpected rain may fall and apartment buildings may run dry.