ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 ก.ย. 2024
- Cool Slander Facts: This video took 2 weeks to make because iMovie is the worlds most worthless editing software. Through extreme levels of trial and error and for a video that could have been made in less than an hour, this horrid software crashes, delays, and has so many ridiculous limitations that I about just said "screw it" and halted all video production. But I hate not being able to put out content so god damnit I'm going to .
As for the shipping: So right now I am getting more or less screwed over by the shipping service I am trying to use and will have to pay way more than I previous thought. With any luck I may be able to have it by the 12th but I will have to replace my monitors and possibly my keyboard and mouse.
Twitch:
/ klidgeradio
New Discord:
/ discord
My Twitter Here:
/ sventarian
And Jake's Store Here (All purchases go to him, not me. Just trying to support a good lad!):
www.redbubble....
Astolfo: If you were a girl then nobody would remember you and the only thing of value that you did in apocrypha was counter Karna's attack with a noble phantasm that you don't even own.
sima yi: 3 words low tier waver
alexander: little shota pre puberty but no power in the history or gameplay
dark arturia: is necesaria a other alter version saber face? what is the mount? a dragon? a mistical creature? NO A FU@$ING MOTORCYCLE AND SHOTING A SNIPER
qetzalcoat: another waigu material for game and r34, o no, dont have more of 5 doujin, well this is a double fail
astolfo: ok, this is personal, low tier skill, really? 40% of attack in 1 turn? no produce more of 5 stars for card, is necesary the stupid femboy jokes in every moment? only people interested in you for the stick in your pants and this people are like horrible goblins
Low quality Klidge is something I didn’t know I needed
It was low quality I did not notice the difference there for its good
Quetzalcoatl: if I had a dollar for the amount of times a blonde-haired anime bimbo Quetzalcoatl crushing on younger guys was represented in Japanese media, I would have two dollars, which is not much but it's weird that it happened twice.
Quetzalcoatl: You are "Mexican Steriotypes: The Character", you got overshadow by *TWO* Rin faces, the writers don't actually care about you or the cultures you were based on, and the only reason you're *NOT* the worst representation of Quetzalcoatl in media it's because the bimbo dragon that should not be allowed anywhere near schools exists.
my guy, you are a fucking pyromancer cause i felt that roast from here
I will be disappointed if this one isn’t featured in the video
@@Missing-Ace are you sad?
Columbus: You are basically one of the best representations of Columbus in media, and that’s not a good thing.
Alexander: If not for your appearance in the Solomon movie, people probably wouldn’t know you exist
Francis Drake: there was great potential with the theory that you were actually Queen Elizabeth I in disguise, but last I checked that theory is dead in the water.
Ozymandias: You’re reasoning for being a Rider makes sense, but it’s still stupid
Marie Antoinette: We haven’t got Black Marie as a servant yet and that’s an insult in itself
I like that drake burn noice one
I guess I'm the only person on the planet that likes Alex...
@@xolotltolox7626 tbf i only know alex as that gay servant in zero
I actualy grailed my Alexander...
@@pipigoossens based
Hmm…Riders…
Blackbeard: You can actually be pretty cool when the writers let you, but most of the time you’re just a one-note perv.
Anne and Mary: People would rather see a 2-Star Lancer, whose entire personality is based on a movie, get an animation update than finally see the 4-Star Pool rid of all sad fencing. (Edit because I forgot about this: I know Santa Alter’s a thing; I’m referring to general pool and even her animations are more original)
Ivan The Terrible: Dark Souls called, they said they want their boss back.
Post-Work Bonus Round:
Bartholomew: To quote Da Vinci: “Would you please stop pushing your overly-specific fetish on literally everyone you meet?”
Astolfo: Nobody would care about you if you didn’t crossdress, and perhaps people could actually look up your historical counterpart without being inundated with all your ecchi fanat on Google Images of that were the case.
Ushiwakamaru: If it weren’t for the fact you rode a horse in one of the trailers, I’d say you might as well just be a Saber.
The ivan one is pretty good
What you said about Ivan could be used for Xiang Yu too)))
Iskandar: you conquered the known world just to die to either a mosquito or alcohol poisoning. Also a weeb for persia so much that the devs chose to not use your actual more famous name.
They're saving it for Grand rider Alexander the great
Rider Mordred: It is implied in your profile information that Saber Mordred actually has the ability to *not* be an angsty raging asshole, not by going through deep character growth or through sincere self-reflection, but by literally just chilling the fuck out for a while.
Also, 2:21
Let's GOOOOOOOOOO!
Astolfo: If you were actually a girl, nobody would remember you.
yeah so true man
Astolfo: your fans' obsession over what's between your legs is repugnant enough to singlehandedly drive new people away from the franchise
Boudica: You've had a strengthening for every one of your skills, *and* your NP. It wasn't enough.
Ozymandias: "Look on my (delight)works, ye mighty, and despair" was *right*, yeesh.
Medusa: Your entire personality was reduced to how sad you are about being tall, but you're not even 5'7".
On Achilles: What truly makes you a rider is Patroclus but if fate players knew that they’d like you even less.
That would depend ENTIRELY upon where Patroclus lies on a scale from Spartacus to Astolfo.
@@Groaker true! Now I want to make that scale…
Damn bro, that's so overkilling that you refilled an entire NP bar
@@michaelmcdoesntexist1459 thanks, you made my day 😊
As a fan of OSP, i'd love a in game Patroclus
Georgios: For how well known your legend and being the only saint , a holy sword user and a dragon slayer all at the same time you are the lowest rarity of all of those same categories
Boudica: As much as a lovable character you are your design put me off because it looked alot like art I've seen in porn games
Blackbeard: For all the pop-culture reference about you and that you spout, you have yet to actually be allowed to wear the one skin everyone wants
Still waiting for a costume for boudica where she has a long and cute dress 😞😞😞😞😞
mebd: if Fate go become in 18+ game you saber version have a dildo no a umbrella
carmilla: multiple mental personality disorder, is a racer, thief, and rich woman? i notice one thing, this poor dogs are so thin
drake: big boobs, poor personality and skills
red hare: if lu bu have a personal mount in servant? why griffon or pegasus no?
medusa: the eternal shadow of sakura, change my mind
Achilles: you're Historically a femboy and no amount of Noble Phantasms will change that.
Ozymandias: Imagine being Voiced by Dio and still being second to a superior blonde.
Except Achilles wasn’t a femboy? Have you actually read the Iliad?
Having a good friend you may have been sexually involved with does not a femboy make.
@@mojavefry2617 >_> when the illiad started he was hiding as a princess under the name Pyrrha. He was a very convincing girl and that's where he had his son.
@@HMAmeri Actually, the Iliad starts with Achilles throwing a fit over the fact that he didn’t get the woman he wanted after the Greeks conducted a raid on some nearby cities for supplies and captives.
It’s kind of the reason why he was refusing to fight for most of the book.
The episode with Pyrrha was not in the Iliad, and was a later story written by an author nearly 1,000 years after the original was written, by the Roman poet Statius, as part of his Achilleid epic. It’s basically fanfiction. You would know that, though, if you actually bothered to have read the Iliad yourself.
@@mojavefry2617 Lancelot & Galahad's EXISTENCES are historical (believed to be self-insert too on at least Lancelot's part) fanfiction, Medusa & co had their backstories rewritten by Ovid to be more sympathetic because he disliked authority figures but they fit in with the popular lore nowadays so I'd say it's fine.
The mythology around the Trojan war was exclusively an oral tradition for a long time before it was codified in the Iliad, Odyssey, etc. So there had already been plenty of time for regional variation and the author had to decide what lore to include or not as well. That doesn't mean the other myths didn't remain in oral tradition throughout the generations. Indeed, many of them inspired plays or other works that later codified certain versions of events.
Since this is mythology and not actually history, whilst older stories are generally regarded as 'more accurate', I don't think that any of the popular stories necessarily outweigh the others in terms of 'canon of events', especially when they don't contradict each other.
Georgios: There are numerous different legends about you, real or fictional, and yet the game writers decided that none of that is interesting and decided to peg you as being a cameraman.
Astolfo: There are many things that I could criticize the writers for doing to you, but somehow it is the fans themselves that have done you dirty.
Drake: There is only one interesting thing about you, but that thing has only been brought up in the Japanese version of Extra and nowhere else, so yeah.
Cinderella Eli: When we thought we were done with you, they decided to drag you in.
Bart Roberts: If you love bangs so much, then why don't you have bangs yourself?
Europa: You debuted way too late to appeal to any mommy fetish.
Santa Alter: You are proof that early welfare Servants need more love.
Medb: Your entire character is "horny bitch" and the fact that it seems to work just concerns me.
Constantine: Your kit is whack, your art is awkward, you simped to a nonexistent woman, no wonder the Byzantine Empire fell with you.
Bro don’t do Europa like that. I actually like her
@@mattrimcauthon4441 Same, she was my SSR of choice with the ticket (get skipped Waver)
St George: Your entire usefulness can be replaced by a craft essence.
Red Hare: Your biggest impact to any Fate story was in Fate Grand Carnival. Nobody would remember you otherwise.
Medb: There are 4 Cus in Chaldea and you still cant make any of them fall for you.
Rider Kintoki: It's not very GOLDEN of you to refuse to show up in new player's Chaldeas, really disrespecting the bro code there. (old welfares when lasenge)
Astolfo: You are one of the only characters even non-fate fans know all about, and its not because of your fighting prowess.
that’s where you’re wrong, good sir/miss. George has a focus skill at first ascension, making him useful for Solo runs.
Yes everybody know astolfo for his monster energy
@@giladmachluf3663 yes i was referring to medusa poster girl 3 turn taunt ce (which is limited tbf so george is way easier to get and use)
Anne and Mary: You are a collection of fetishes disguised as a character and you still don’t have the gimmick you were supposed to start with two characters in battle as one.
Ozymandias: his personality is basically just Egyptian Gilgamesh.
Constantine: for someone to be the last king of the empire, ceaser mentions how it's cute ur trying to be rome, but what's the kicker is that not even qurinus acknowledges your existence in chaldea. (No voice lines ouch)
Achilles: The fact that you never mention or acknowledge Patroclus, the love of your life, in any way genuinely upsets me
Sidenote: Hades has the better portrayal of you and you’re literally just an NPC.
Was that real?, I thought they were cousins.
also no mention of his own son
@@ALUCARDAN2 Do not believe the movie Troy! It lies to your face. Read The Song of Achilles or just read the Iliad. It’s not subtext, it’s literally just text.
@@GBlockbreaker I mean if my son denied my dying wish to be buried with my boyfriend,I’d ignore his existence too.
Well the Lancer class is done can't wait for the next slander as always good content klidge
Carmilla (Rider): You're created from an unfunny joke and the guy who simp for you cheated 3 times
Seriously man.
Uhh, Context on the last half?
Drake: you had to disappear from the game until Atlantis and reappear reeeeeally nerfed so you could actually contribute to the plot of the game
Iskandar: you're depicted more in steamy bara sessions with Napoleon than in the actual game
Da Vinci: you're a backup plan for the original, and on top of that you're based on what could've been the biggest work of Leonardo but never came to fruition
Medusa: thousands of years since the Age of Gods and you still let your sisters bully you, no matter what class you've been summoned into and the difference in combat prowess between you and them
Nemo: and here I thought Hundred Personas had a multiple personality disorder
Mandricardo: no wonder you ran off from your responsibilities as a king to look for adventures and Hektor's weapon, your shiness would've gotten you dethroned in two days since your coronation
Murasaki: you saved everyone in summer 5 thanks to your knowledge of horror movies, but players will only remember you for being a cushion when we fell into the singularity
Astolfo: You relevant for the memes and those get old real quick.
Ozymandias: Nobody cares about you having almost nothing to do with your legend because of your VA
Nemo:I now hate you because of how much cooler the arcade version of you is
Ozymandias: Much like Iksandar, you fall under the fan bara affect and paired of with either Gilgamesh or Arash.
Achilles: People remember you not because of your fights in the Trojan War but by your relationship with your friend.
Alexander: You keep following Waver everywhere, it's a little creepy... Just wait till your balls drop and your muscles grow so he follows you everywhere instead ;)
Iskandar: ...
...
...
Do we really need to roast him when the game forgot of his existance four years ago?
bonus CARmilla: Not even plushie, your biggest simp, can make you relevant and he tried REAAAALLY hard
Martha: For someone who's better known because of her dead brother than the reason you became a servant in the first place, you don't mention Lazarus at all.
Also add: To be a saint, your clothes are certainly not
Astolfo: The fact you are known for being a trap instead of all the insane great things in the Mater of France is the worst roast that will forever mar your legacy
Anne Bonny and Mary Read: You Don't even have the Riding skill and you needed three skill upgrades to make yourself barely more useful than you were before the skill upgrades.
There's also the Doujin I guess, Or that you're goal is literally to find the One Piece.
Astolfo: The character assassination writers,r34 artists and horny fans put you through should honestly qualify as a war crime, its so bad that every subsequent character who qualifies as a twink or femboy has been progressively more Boy than Fem
Medusa:It hurts to see that you peaked in Heaven's Feel
Medb:Its absurd that after a lifetime of being a nuisance to ireland and Cu Chulainn you get to be seemingly absolved of your crimes while Lizzie still has to pay for her futures selves sins
Ushiwakamaru: It's cute you think you're in the same level of bloodthristy as Caenis and Nagayoshi when you're about as threatning as a Bush baby.
Marie Antonette: You kept saying "Viva La France" but noone really care yet when a certain 5 star Lancer came out, many people start to mimic him by saying "Roma!" while Y-posing.
For Rider Jason: You are apparently so unloved by everyone in the story that you still aren’t allowed to be summoned save for your joke Saber form
Francis Drake- There is nothing anyone in the fate Fandom can say or do to you can even come close to the fact that you were Shinji's servant in the Fate Extra.
Red Hare- If it wasn't for your contributions in the Chinese Lostbelt, people would only remember you for being the center of all the beastialty jokes in Grand Carnival
Martha- If the real life version of you saw how you acted, she would deem you a heretic for your behavior
Georgios- I can count the number of people who have actually leveled you past your first ascension on one hand and still have fingers left over.
Queen Medb- You give Kirara a run for her money on the amount of people you've slept with, but at least she doesn't take it as a compliment when someone tells her she acts like a bitch in heat.
Sakata Kintoki- Thank God your head is as dense as the gold you keep talking about 24/7, otherwise Raikou would've made this version of you wear a helmet at all times.
(Also, thanks for putting my Kagetora roast in! She may be my favorite servant, but god damn it I'm so disappointed in how little she's used in the events)
Artoria Alter (Rider): I would say that having a .45 long slide with laser sighting and having no personality makes a good terminator reference but she Arnold’s acting in Terminator look like a masterpiece
Medusa: Despite being part of the original seven F/SN servants F/GO has screwed you harder than Shirou in all those doujins.
Iskandar/Alexander: You have a bara and shota form so no matter what age you are it’s still creepy when people ship you with Waver.
Francis Drake: you somehow manage to be overshadowed by a lolicon and a yuri power couple as “the pirate servant”
Blackbeard: The reason Kiritsugu is summoned as an assassin as soon as he realized you’re a rider and his daughter is a caster.
Odysseus: IT’S A GUNDAM! (Also you get overshadowed by Achilles yet again)
Martha: People forget the rider version of you exists because they’d rather have their UFC fighter muscle mommy ruler.
Medb: Despite being the one character that would be entirely justified in having a crap ton of porn made of her, you somehow have the least.
Ushiwakamaru: Despite being a surprisingly well written character, everyone defaults to you being the “Nice Boat” Girl.
Iskander: The only reason people select you is because of the “Unga Bunga” meme that is your NP.
Alexander: The only reason people used you is because Iskander wasn’t available.
Astolfo: I can’t tell which is worse-that you’re the most memorable of Roland’s Paladins, or that you’re literally the mascot of the Anime Trap trope.
Red Hare: Ever since FGO Carnival Phantasm, the only thing people talk about is how Gudako is now into horse c***.
Ivan: The only thing worse than having wasted talent for the first Lostbelt is that, thanks to TNO, I can’t take a “Holy Russian Empire” as anything but a very dark joke.
Noah: Outside of Gramps, you’re the only confirmed Grand that makes sense, but the fact you’re arcade exclusive sours our impressions of you.
Blackbeard: People saw your fake personality, and took it at face value, yanking your character.
Medusa: You're one of the OG Fate characters and still don't have a swimsuit.
Carmilla: You exist because someone thought of a pun they could make with your name.
Medb: You got killed by a piece of cheese.
**Klidge recording during a windy storm while everybody else is pretending to be Vergil to the tune of "Bury The Light"**
Astolfo: most of your fans haven't even touched fate, they just know you for hentai and monster energy
Dobrynya: the fact you were summoned as a catgirl instead of a Russian version of Gawain is a roast in and of itself
oh no next one is gonna have a rider carmilla roast
And there's nothing you can do to stop us!
I’ll make it a special one
Blackbeard: You're so bad, both game-wise and personality wise, that it's become a habit that people are now comparing themselves to you to see if they're worse.
I honestly think Blackbeard is an OK rider, hate his personality though
rider mo: your only purpose was to farm doors and with the new 3/3/1 stage you can't even do that anymore
blackbeard: writers just love forgetting that your otaku personality is supposed to be creepy on purpose to make people scared of you since setting your beard on fire just ain't enough anymore
reines: good luck being a support servant with that star absorb
ryoma: 10%
rider kintoki: just saying cool every second sentence doesn't actually make you cool
Boudica: Did nero take your clothes along with your kingdom?
Red Hare: Your whole existence can be summed up to two jokes, carrots and being the realization of THOSE h*ntai.
Bartholomew: Your only personality is hitting on everyone and everything that show your fetish.
Medusa: If it wasn't for stay night, you would be one of the most boring servants out there. Your np isn't even about you.
yeah with medusa, if we have red hare, WHERE IS MY RIDER PEGASUS?
Constantine XI: I don't know what's sadder,
A. the wasted hype he had
B. His kit that is so bad xNaya had to dunk on it 7 times
C. The fact that he was a stepping stone for a midget and a manchild
D. The fact he spent so much time simping for a girl who didn't exist.
Oh, who am I kidding it's
*E. All of the above*
Santa Alter: The only reason people remember you is because of a meme done by another less-popular saber-face.
Ishtar: Everyone calls your archer version the Useless Goddess cause of Babylon but only because they choose to not acknowledge your existence.
Sima Yi (Reines) - You only exist because the better tactician was summoned, and despite being a usurper of authority during the Three Kingdoms era, you still couldn't take his place as everyone's favorite general support servant now.
Da Vinci - The fact your younger self is 100x more useful than your adult version is just proving the Adults are Useless trope, so thanks for being the literal poster child.
Europa - I thought it would be cool if you were a servant just to start off the Greek Gods being added, only to find out you already had a banner and it was already gone.
Nemo - Didn't realize you were a playable servant, I thought you were just there for the excuse of making "Finding Nemo" jokes
Cinderellabeth - If only you were based on Sleeping Beauty because the idea of more servants based on your character really needs to be put to sleep.
Ozymandias: your only appeal is that you have the same VA as Dio and even that doesn't excuse your awful hairline in your second ascension
Alexander III: The only reason you have any popularity is because of your adult version and the fact that you had Waver in your singularity.
Iskandar: You are literally still coasting off the popularity you obtained from a TV series that came out a decade ago and it shows - given that the writers of the game consistently forget you even exist.
George: The fact that you are more useful to people as a glorified punching bag for Challenge Quests really goes to show that only about 2 seconds of actual thought was put into you as a Servant.
Black Bart: Your personality can be summed up as "has a fetish."
Odysseus: Your personality is so bad they made you into a Gundam pilot
Ozymandias: The game used your less popular name and the same one with a poem that talks about how time forgets all
Kintoki: You'd think not being a Berserker would fix the brain damage, but I guess not if you still never shut up about golden
Boudica: Imagine a celtic queen who looks she came from a hentai and skills only useful against a handful of enemies. But can't fault her too much, she also hates a certain Roman whose beyond annoying
My roast on Riders:
Martha: "People only care about your Ruler form, then your Rider form."
Astolfo: "Nothing I say or know will equal or do it justice on how the fans memed you to high hell and back again."
Iskandar: "You are a constant reminder for me, that if you were female you know the writers would have no problem bringing up how you where RXXXXX or Bi, and how the first part effects you as a person."
Leonardo Da Vinci (Rider): "Not only was your introduction to the game so bad, that my neck still hurts from the whiplash, but you will never beat OG Da vinci in my eyes, and you will always be Da vinki to me."
Bartholomew Roberts: "We finally get a bi male character in game, but the down side is, that you are also another pedo as well."
Ozymandias: Because 3 Gilgameshes weren't enough, they made an Egyptian one
Ivan the Terrible: Would have been absolutely forgettable if you weren't the first Lostbelt King.
Boudica: Anything that I could say wouldn't be worse than what the game already did with you, besides the fact that they didn't even try with your design.
Ushiwakamaru: Taking into account your obsession with taking heads and how eager to please you are, it's no wonder your brother betrayed you.
Anne Bonny and Mary Read: Have you ever done anything else than screw each other or trying to screw your master?
Medb: Your uppity personality makes you one of the more hateable characters, and you're probably liking it. Makes sense why you're story-locked; nobody wants to deal with you, and much less Cu.
Christopher Columbus: Being characterised as a cartoonish villain is probably the most accurate depiction you could've gotten.
Elizabeth Cinderella: People were looking forward to get Elizabeth Japan, and then you appeared.
Europa: The fact that Zeus chose you as his consort is proof of how low his standards were.
Ivan: Everything you achieved was ruined by your Interludes.
Maid Alter: You're a maid, a biker, and a goth in a swimsuit. You should've sticked to one theme, cause trying to do them all is clearly not working for you.
Santa Alter: The only thing more jarring then your animations is that when your creators thought of a Christmas Servant, you were the outcome.
Not my best work, but I still wanted to try.
Leonardo Da Vinci: You were made as a lolicon bait after the devs saw that the milf version didn't bring enough money
Achilles: For someone who's know for being fast it's ironic your weak point is your heels
Ozmandiaz: Your just rider Gilgamesh
Black Beard: If the real Edward Teach sees how you act he'll murder you as much as how you simp for your waifu
Ushiwakamaru: You do realize Yoritomo would sacrifice your soul to Orochi for a corn chip right? Maybe if you wore some armor he wouldn't have succeeded in doing just that.
Boudica: Your interlude not only ruined your characterization but ALSO Dr. Romans.
Shikibu: Yet another old woman acting like a high schooler.
Saint Martha: It would be genuinely refreshing to see you act like the saint you are once in a while.
Sakata Kintoki: For the win died out before the UBW anime launched.
Taigong Wang: You're the first forgettable grand candidate.
Constantine XI: Nothing I can say to you is worse than your kit.
Red hare: Your joke might be the single most unfunny joke FGO has ever come up with. Bar none.
Ivan: playerbase dislikes you so much that Lasagna had to splat your God-forsaken face in every single otherwise-God-tier GSSR.
Astolfo: no amount of words can describe how often I have to filter my search history whenever I have to look you up on Google.
Kintoki: You reference a show that nobody knows about in NA
Drake: Nothing I can say would be worse that what the writers did to you in Agartha
Astolfo: Your legacy will be going down in history as the poster child of "Dude looks like a Lady"
Ozymandias: Kono Dio da
I know about the show Kintoki references
Ozy : you are so irrelevant that even the camelot movies couldn't make them give you an animation update
LMFAOOOOOO BRUH the Karna one was hilarious😭😭😭
Edit: DAMN GET OFF TAIGA😭😭😭
Ozymandias: The fact that you're voiced by Dio, but only get written as a carbon copy of a better servant says more about you than the fact that you get even less story presence than your superior counterpart.
Marie Antoinette: You have a army of simps in game yet you still can’t be remembered by the fan base, unless “whassup my homies” is mentioned.
Iskander/Alexander: Achilles dragged Hector with his chariot after killing him for murdering his best friend/lover.
You did the same to a governer while he was still alive for not bowing before you.
Iskandar: Being shipped with Waver is more useful than your kit.
Murasaki: The fact that the world's first novelist thinks horror movies have well-written stories is the real tragedy. Also, you're a married woman with a daughter, you are too old to act like you don't know how sexual your third ascension is.
Caenis: I would compliment your swimsuit, but I know that your way of thinking will make you take it as an insult, which is another reason why people don't even have to try too hard when roasting you
Poor Diarmuid
Constantine: for such an epic historical figure, you are suprisingly forgettable. And your 2nd Ascension is you have constant PTSD.
Ushiwakamaru: That being really good at parkour across boats apparently makes one a Rider is almost as baffling as your inconsistent application of battle armor.
Rider Medusa, the only reasons people love you, are - your fight against Saber Alter in Spring Song movie, you looking more like sadistic dominatrix than the lore accurate monster that you are in Avenger class and your Japanese voice actress. That's dispite the two routes where you were treated as a ragdoll tests while being under unsufficient mana supply from not your true master.
Ozymandias: You're awfully confident in yourself for someone who's only known because of a poem depicting your failed civilization and failing to prevent a single man from taking your slaves, all the while outright telling you his intentions.
Achilles: the only thing I can remember about you in the game is that your banner outsold Summer Kama's banner in jp, and that's a big achievement ngl
Mandricardo: you are my best friendo, but for the love of god stop talking about how worthless you are
Ushi: no matter how much good your character is, you still have one of the most atrocious designs and the megaten ver of you is still more cooler
Taigong: dw tried to make Merlin 2.0 and a Tumblr sexyman bait, but they kinda failed
Odysseus: The only reason we still remember you its for that time you broke in pieces one guy for your event with Circe, and another one, you were hyped so much in atlantis just to get killed in a cinematic just because the devs wanted to release you 3 months later in that event mencioned early, so full circ(l)e. Also no helmet for 2 years, the cherry on the top.
Edward Teach: What even is an "Eddie Sage"?
2:25 911 there's been a murder!
3:37 You're really taking no prisoners, huh?
Laugh track. Utterly destroyed.
Medusa: Your appearance in UBW has successfully been translated to your gameplay
Also, no matter how many people love you, your 4* sister will just make more simps herself than you could ever have
Sakura fans should count themselves lucky to even be in the room at all.
Bartholomew Roberts: If I hadn't put the Only Show Rider Class filter on, I would have forgotten I have you.
Alexander: You are the young version of one of the better characters and your one personality trait is "Enthusiastic"
Astolfo: I can end this here and everyone would understand.
Marie Anoinette: You are only remembered for a fake historical fact and by going grey at a young age.
*Astolfo:* People only care about you because you are a dude who looks like a chick.
*Da Vinci:* I hate that you had to become a loli to become more popular.
*Francis Drake:* The most interesting thing about your character was dropped in favour of making you Blackbeard's waifu of choice.
*Boudica:* Your design belongs in a goblin hentai and you simp for your mortal enemy.
*Blackbeard:* Nothing I say to you will burn you worse than Okeanos did.
*Columbus:* The game literally has Serial Killers, pedophiles, and mass murderers yet you are the worst humanity has to offer.
*Odysseus:* You're a rider and fameously went on a ten year voyage on a ship, yet your Noble Phantasm is a wooden horse.
*Medb:* Even your perfect husbando (Cu Alter) doesn't want to shag you.
*Ozymandias:* The only reason Gilgamesh doesn't have you in his vault is because Gil only stores the geninune article. (I am saying he is a copy of Gilgamesh, but found it hard to put it into words)
*Bartholomew Roberts:* You wrote the Pirate's Code yet you are the weakest of the pirate servants.
*Europa:* Stockholm Syndrome is not a personality trait.
*Red Hare:* You're not Lu Bu and never will be.
*Anne & Mary:* Your legends describe you disguising yourselves as boys and the pirates buying it, and yet Anne has massive tracks of land.
*Medusa:* You're not relevant to the story and never will be, regardless of how much the GudaGuda writers try.
*Alexander:* Despite being part of the story once the writers would rather forget you exist.
Medusa: the only reason you’re a Rider is because you stole your NP from somebody else
Ushiwakamaru: you’re a rider class because you walk on some boats in your NP and ride a horse in the opening, which makes Medusa a better candidate.
Blackbeard: you know you were done dirty by the writers and the devs when every other version of you, yes even the old you who did barely anything in Pirates 4, is infinitely more badass and interesting than an otaku degenerate.
Medb: it’s impressive that you were able to out-thot Kiara, and she shoved the entire Earth up Heaven’s Hole and thirsts after a shota.
Boudicca: your portrayal was so whitewashed and bastardized, that a doujin author could do you better than what the devs have done.
Iskandar: for being one of the best characters in Fate/Zero, it’s sad that your legacy in FGO is your master, your child version, and bara with Napoleon
Anne and Mary: you were made out of fetishes first, and a character second.
Ivan: how are you a rider?
Astolfo: the fact that I and many other Fate and non-Fate fans have a weeks worth of slander material on you is very telling
Odysseus: you were one of the most complex characters in all of mythology and literature for your exploits, only for you to have the personality of white bread and ride in a gundam
Achilles: what is essentially a best-selling reinterpretation of your myths does wonders to explore your character than what a Fate/Apocrypha has done to you
Bakin: Not even your 8 dogs can save you from being irrelavant in the fanbaae right in your event when Gundam appear
Kyokutei Bakin: I forgot this servant existed and thought I just misremembered Xu Fu's class.
Riders next? I get to roast my favourite Servant!
Astolfo: In Apocrypha, you were the best character in Fate, but in anything else all anyone knows about you is your legendary Flanderization.
The audio quality really enhances the experience, sad to see the pringles can go away after a minute
Kyokutei bakin: Your event and introduction were so irrelevant you don't even have a voice lines video on TH-cam yet and I feel the one commenting this (me) is the only one who actually cares bcz you look like his (my) waifu
Version two: imagine being barely able to loop and releasing rigth before arcueid and a cool Mecha dude and expect to be relevant
Achilles: you'd be better at killing hector if you were a berserker instead
Odysseus: A lot of people like mechs, but that still won't be enough to make them pull for you
Taigong Wang: For someone who's known to be wise and a genius, you almost ended up fucking over PHH because you made a dumb move
Iskandar: Your best moment was being a mongrel's pincushion... and those doujins with Waver and Napoleon
Ozymandias: 10 plagues > Your flying pyramid
Medusa: Most of your fans never even read Hollow Ataraxia, the one story you get any character in, which says a lot about the two character traits they like about you.
Astoflo: You know considering how the FGO community and Type-Moon itself already made fun of you as it is, I think I'll just let you slide just this once.
King of Conquerors: Such a loud mouth that I have to mute the screen when you speak.
Quetzalcoatl - You were supposed to be a Luvia-face, and it really shows.....
Ozymandias - how tf did you, a RIDER, manage to lose against your Caster brother??
Rider Roasts
Medusa: I hate that it takes all my willpower to remember that you are a Rider and not an Assassin every time I look at you.
Blackbeard: They made you the #1 degenerate otaku of the whole cast and not even Okki wants you.
Alexander: You and Iskander have one thing in common, that you still lose out to both kid and adult Gilgamesh in terms of relevancy.
Martha: Your noble phantasm is basically you abusing an animal and even I'm tempted to snitch on you to PETA.
Anne&Mary: This is the one case where I will have to say "why is she a kid?"
Medb: I'd say you're #1 horny-on-main, but Kiara exists, and I would call you a succubus, but that would be unfair to both Merlin and Lady Avalon.
Kintoki: Your whole gimmick is based on the pun in your name
Artoria Alter (Santa)/(Rider Alter): You are the saber-face(s) that make no sense character-wise, and your other Rider self even less so.
Columbus: Your slave-driving greed makes Blackbeard look like a saint by comparison
Bartholomew: Even the 2000s emo kids would not want to be near you.
Odysseus: The fact that you were killed by the son you had with Circe makes me question just how "faithful" you really think you were to Penelope.
Caenis: The fact you were created months after your Lancer self further proves how much TM caters to the dark-skin fetishists in the fandom.
Elizabeth Bathory: How is it that out of all your versions this one makes you look like you still wear clothes that are "too big" for you?
Iskandar: your only relevance these days is to be the big bara lover to Waver
Columbus: the devs couldn't get your nationality right
Ozymandius: the only thing people remember about you is that you share a voice with a vampire
Bikertoki: i got nothing, you're just too good for this world
Drake: your canon height
Anne and Mary: your lack of the Rider skill makes you less qualified to be a rider than half of the Berserkers with riding skill
Bartholomew: your arcane fetish is your only character trait, making you less than 1 dimensional than Teach
Teach: you're the combination of an Otaku and sequel Jack Sparrow
Cinder-Eli: maybe the fact your mirror refuses to show you should be a hint
Summer Alter: you're still the less threatening maid between you and Dio's Daughter
Ishtar: your swimsuit is probably the least lewdest outfit between all of your versions.
Blackbeard: The worst thing about you isn't that the only thing people know about you is fake but that you somehow got a costume
Nemo: the only good thing you have going is you technically aren't whitewashed
Red Hare: you may be a bigger joke character than the GUDAGUDA servants
Medb: You used a holy grail to bring your edgy deviantart oc to life
Kintoki: you are just as must as a momma's boy as your beserker self
Constantine: You are a simp for a fictional character
Ozymandias: Your famous because your laugh like a villain in certain anime the one thing lack in your face is repeated ora ora ora
Astolfo: Everyone Loves you and Your dance but if the devs decided to turn you into a female no ones gonna remember you
Red Hare: Every Player Gives their grail for you and Also CARROTS
Mandricardo: Also masters Loves you And you are their No.1 best friendo
Ushiwakamaru: You are the most precious of all rider and everyone loves you in any of your form.
Rider Ishtar: They're only bring you because of your buff and Crit star buff other that your useless.
B.Roberts: Your Attracted only in a one side eye bangs no matter what's its gender.
Bartholomew: I was kinda interested in you until i realized you just cant go a fricking second without simping for bangs... Not even something special, just anyone with bangs covering their eyes...