THE HITMAN MOVIES - They're So Bad They're Amazing
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 พ.ย. 2023
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go to gamersupps.gg/elvis right now for a free sample pack and use code ELVIS for a free Ayylien sticker (only 300 available) and free shipping! Do it now or Agent 47 will show up at your house in the middle of the day, when your parents are home, without wearing a disguise, and with a very thin layer of hair, it's just barely noticeable, but that somehow makes it worse, like he'd be better off wearing a Marilyn Monroe wig with tights. He's coming. Don't say I didn't warn you.
You didnt even tatoo a barcode on the back of your head i sont trust you no mo
did you see funhaus play hitman or even better alekeines gun lmao you should if you havnt!! gaming gold!!!
I'm not sure how I feel on you trying to sell us anime boobs 🤔
Review the hellboy movies
ayylien clothes drippy
If they really wanted to capture the essence of Hitman, they should have had 47 in a clown costume throwing a labrys at a dictator's head mid speech
Then changing into a flamingo costume so he can "blend in" better
I think you mean a homing briefcase
I like the action, but the games were intentionally silly in a lot of ways. There was a lot of hijink potential they didn't make use of. You could pretty much switch 47 out with anybody in these movies and you wouldn't suspect much. They should've done it like a heist movie where you first see picture in picture views of stuff 47 sees and key actions he takes alongside the effects of them, where he keeps slipping out of trouble or causing elaborate, subtle chicanery. And then maybe a direct chase or fight here and there
no fish
🤣🤣🤣🤣
I feel like it's worth noting that the official language in Nigeria is actually English. Now, a lot of people there don't necessarily speak it day-to-day, but it's completely reasonable that those guys would at the beginning.
Just about to post this, yes! It’s not odd at all
@@hollycjensen Yeah. It would be cool if they spoke Igbo or Hausa, for example. But it's not unrealistic for them not too. In fact, it's reasonable that English would be the only common language between them, as their first languages could be very different.
I feel like - if they did it in other languages with subtitles - people would complain about subtitles. This - is a character from a video game - at least they got the right voice for Diana.
Came here for this aswell
Came here to say that also
Timothy Olyphant carried that first movie. Even tho 47 should be emotionless Timothy has so much charisma that his version of the character just works
Just sucks that he hated every second of filming
I love Timothy Olyphant because of Justified. If you haven't seen that, it's worth checking out.
@@thebadash4165 it's probably one of the best TV shows of all time. Walton Goggins also phenomenal in that
He did, but I don't think he fits the character particularly well. I do recall seeing the movie back in the day and liking it though.
a 45 year old Ed Harris would have been a perfect Agent 47
Her face tattoo is a major part of their connection. He asks her about it and has a flashback of when he got the bar codes. 47 and the girl had shared trauma. Something about freedom and control over ones own life. And he didnt kill her because she did not react to his presence when she saw him in public. Meaning the agency lied about her being a loose end.
Ehh. Plot shmot. We all know why the screenwriters wrote the connection the way they did.
@@sammco6704 exactly, and the reviewer still couldn’t get it, right
I feel that elvis is too harsh on this movie for no reason. It is his monkey brain that missed the body-tattoo, institutionalized torture that 47 and the girl has in common among many other stuff. But no, watch elvis go she's hot RigHT? for 5 minutes straight. also both of them are sort of puppets of powerful people / organizations and they are pitted against each other. He killed armed swat teams who would have killed him too, but the girl is not even able to throw a punch .. so there is a bit of emotion there, this is in accordance with the games as well, Hitman Absolution
Her tiny dragon is the only example of a cool face tattoo.
In the first movie, if I'm not mistaken, he killed the real Belicoff at the start. It was Belicoff's body double who organized the hit as a means of taking over. There's a scene later in the film, after 47 kills Belicoff's brother, where we see Belicoff talking to the FSB agent. He goes into detail about the surgical operations needed to become a lookalike.
Also, 47 doesn't kill Nika because she sees him in the public square when he's about to shoot her and she doesn't recognize him. Showing that she never witnessed anything, and this was just him being used to cover up loose ends.
This is what’s so disappointing about this channel. He constantly gets major plot points wrong.
@@MashaRistovaHaven't seen this movie in a long time. I think another reason why he didn't kill her is because she reminded him of his childhood. Don't know exactly what it was. I forgot
then why didnt he kill her after she gets to know that hes a hitman ?
@@goglegay Haven't seen this movie in a long time. I think another reason why he didn't kill her is because she reminded him of his childhood. Don't know exactly what it was. I forgot
@@jasontodd6779why do you and @lookingforlove839 have the exact same reply? Word for word 🤔
Elvis got bots?
To be honest a British person abroad instigating a conversation in English is probably the most authentic thing about this movie.
Actually the reason he didn't kill her in the beginning is because she stared right at him in the crowd and didn't recognize him, so he knew something was wrong
Also because she is a slave and he grew up a slave too.
Also because it makes zero sense to kill someone who witnessed your murder in such a way as to create dozens more witnesses to your murders
at least these people get it
The scene of him breaking the handcuffs with the sniper is seared into my brain for all eternity. Truly peak filmmaking
I remember watching this movie years back when I was younger, thinking "Wow, I didn't know that Hitman got a movie adaptation", and completely forgetting about it afterwards.
I didn't even know that this "film" even gotten a sequel to begin with.
It's not a sequel.
that is a reboot, not a sequel though
I don't think anyone knew there was a second one. I do remember the first one and I definitely didn't either.
Sequel is garbage. First one had some redeeming qualities. But the 2nd one just derailed so hard. The director at the time promised his movie would do the games justice only to turn right around and say he thought the games were boring and nobody would want to see an assassin wear disguised and carefully kill his targets, but that the movie needed gratuitous action if it were to be successful. Well naturally he pushed away fans of the game which should’ve been the target audience smh
The idea of 47 in a romantic relationship in anyway is weird to me. Theres a cutscene in the first game where a chick kisses him and he shudders. It just makes sense to me that the genetically perfect clone born to kill would have no interest or time in romance. I think these movies would rock if they were just tense action movies where we follow him assassinating targets in the coolest and smoothest way possible :3
He doesn't have a romantic relationship. This guy is stupid and doesn't know the lore! He only helps her cuz she was a slave and he grew up a slave.
47 is an aroace king 👑
Completely agree. I'm pretty sure he's supposed to be asexual in the games, possibly also aromantic.
Counterargument, it's Olga Kurylenko.
:3
Wouldn't it be better to say John Wick tried to be 47? This came out 7 years earlier!
The more he kept calling John wick Gave an ick
@@seige8621same. Pretty much every reference this dude makes to these movies (including the games themselves) is literally all stuff that came out AFTER.
When I was a kid I watched the first one and I loved it! It was the first time in my life that I made a character my entire personality for years to come I just thought agent 47 was the coldest and coolest mf ever bro was standing on business
fr
Timothy Oliphant also the goat
@@herpyderp2778in what way whatsoever? Lol
@@herpyderp2778i don't think 47 flirts with men pretending to be a woman
@@BobGeaniswhat did this mf say 😭
14:14 I'm a Bulgarian from Sofia and I remember watching this movie and being like "bruh what's our national theater doing in "Russia"?"
Now with Google Street view, why do they keep on doing it??
@@TeruteruBozusama To be fair to them Street view wasn't really a thing yet when they were filming that movie. But also they do it because some countries are just cheaper to film in and they think no one would notice, or at least the main American audience wouldn't lol
Lol, I had reversed situation. xD One episode of American tv show was "placed" in my town. Whole family gathered before tv, because there were no news about tv crew in town. Different looking locations, car plates and even trains xP. So dissapointed. And we knew it was filmed in our country, because they used famous actor and the rest was speaking in perfect diction.
For those who have no idea about the Slavic languages would have never been able to tell the difference.
This is like in Die Hard 5, where Budapest is supposed to convince you that it’s Russia!😂
I think Timmy olyphant was perfect for the role but it just had bad writing I did love the fact he jumps through the window and the kids were playing hitman
The first one is great. This guy is a fool....
The reason 47 didn't kill the goth girl in the first movie is because he could relate to her because they were both abused as children and forced to have a tattoo on their head. And yeah probably because he liked her a bit.
Nah 47 was just down bad and wanted some pusspuss for once
bro didn't wanted to kill the big tiddies goth gf
Also Both were forced into a line of work they never wanted. They were both completely alone, no friends or family. They didn’t choose their lives.
And also that when she looked at him in the square before he pulled his gun out, she didn’t recognise him. Elvis The Alien missing obvious plot points again 😂
@@MrGrungeboy97 I thought that was obvious but yes.
I laughed so hard in theatres when i realized they'd reused footage from Dark Angel for the barcoded kids training sequences. Particularly as they all had it on the back of their necks (as per DA) and yet they were too cheap to reshoot with proper placement for Hitman
The Nigerians speaking English isn't too far fetched because it's the official language (also there are multiple ethnic groups that are native to the country and over 500 different national languages and dialects). It actually is more realistic, I think.
Thank you and we don't sound like that
You are correct. This is the comment I came looking for
I'm sure he's the type that thinks Africa is a country 😂
To be fair, people in foreign countries speaking perfect English is absolutely accurate to the games
When she said she was sold for 300, she probably meant 300,000 cause it might've sounded weird to be specific with the situation they are in.
Yeah, I was going to comment the same. Kinda weird that he didn't catch that.
When I heard that scene I thought it was showing how she was seen as worthless and how a person could buy her for cheap to do whatever they wanted. But yours makes a lot more sense lol
No....she says "300.....American. "
A Hitman movie should be made like a slasher movie, with 47 being the antagonist, but one who obviously wins in the end. 47's face should never be shown, and he should be shown walking around in the background of some shots, in disguise. The real voice of 47 should also be used, because that is absolutely necessary💁🏻♀️
That's actually such an interesting idea 😭
I love this. Call it _Apex Predator_
Honestly, the movie "The Killer" on netflix is more of a Hitman movie than any of the licensed hitman movies...
One of the funniest things about him assassinating the woman in the crowd of people is that I'm pretty sure you'd get the lowest score possible if you did that in the game.
Nigerian here and it's not entirely out of the ordinary for Nigerians to speak English. It's our first language.
3:20 the forensics team would be able to tell that the explosion originated from inside the victim based on the damage done to the inside his remains, you can see that his upper torso stayed intact so that would mean that either the explosives were inside of him, or that they were strapped to him, and considering that he was taken in by that group of people they would have noticed him strapped with c4 before they brought him into the compound.
People really do misunderstand how much a CSI can find on a scene. It's already crazy how they can give an extremely accurate time of death, let alone the source of an explosion.
Hell, what about arson investigators being able to find out the source of a fire?
So glad you mentioned Jason Statham, I saw a film where he plays an assassin (though it was a comedy) and he was AMAZING!! He felt almost like an alternate universe 47. They should definitely try again, but more in line with the World of Assassination trilogy this time. More serious and espionage focused, but there's plenty of room for humor (47 loves wordplay, apparently) and action, plus the overarching plot with Providence is already there!
What was the movie?
@@user-ss3wb8he7h probably operation fortune. its the only comedy hes in where hes a spy/assassin like agent 47. its a guy ritchie film, pretty new.
I don't think Jason Statham is good for an emotionlesskiller.He's more of a quippy badass.
@@shamanicdude860547 does have a sense of humor but it's mainly obvious murder analogies
@@Makarosc Yeah but not in the gruff and seasoned way Jason does it,he's more elegant and refined if you know what I mean.This is not a dig at Statham,just how he feels.
Crazy to think they attempted a hit man film twice .😊
Lol yes, very BOLD of them 🤔
They should have slapped a barcode on fassbender in his film lately. He'd be good.
I mean, if they are talented.
The first film is good if you know the original trilogy. This guy is dumb....
Why is that crazy
Its not btw
I like how the girls backstory is based off violent sexual abuse and being literally trafficked but also the movie finds every possible chance to sexualize her
just like irl i guess
@@criscrosxxx💀
“Hey, you can’t spell ‘extensive sexual trauma’ without ‘sex u’!”
- some movie exec, I guess
fact
you cant@@RainWelsh
Hollywood moment
I wonder if 47 got himself one of those maps where you scratch the places where you've been...
*An Agent 47 dark comedy TV series* in the vein of “Barry” and “The Killer” would be the most talked about show on television if done right..
True. There’s so much lore from the hit man series they could make a great show out of it
Mix in some Killing Eve which even has some comedic undertones to it already to make it more global like Hitman tends to be.
Haven't seen the video. But the moment in the first movie where all the agents (AND THE RANDOM INTERPOL AGENT?) pull out 2 katanas from inside their shirt in a mexican standoff situation is the most insane moment in any movie.
Bonkers
The interpol guy wasn't a part of that fight, he didn't pull out wakazshis.
To me david finchers the killer is exactly what a hitman film should’ve been
Agent 47 wouldn’t have screwed up the sniper job at the beginning, but otherwise absolutely
I love that you said we might know Zachary quinto from heroes and not the Star Trek movies lol.
For the first Hitman movie the director was forced by studio interference to add many stupid scene and to change parts of the plot. He refused and has been remplaced and it is noticeable by the camera works differences
That's just sad
The sword fight in the train is a big example of a scene that was added later because the higher ups thought there wasn't enough action in the movie. The original plot of the movie was much more serious and psychological
@@zaer-ezart huh, no wonder why it feels so sloppy.
Bald white man in a suit and tie, with a barcode tattooed on his neck.
Arguably the easiest Hitman in fictional history to spot.
You can tell the script writers never played the games, just glanced at the game cases.
y'know, A horror movie with 47 as the monster wouldn't be half bad.
Thanks Alien man, this video is really entertaining. I give you a thumbs up
The ending song to the first hitman movie slaps
The edit at the beginning, caused me to legit think you shaved your head for this. (which means it was either very good or I am an idiot) I was like, "DAMN THE COMMITMENT!"
I remember seeing this with my friend in theaters. He ripped ass during one of the silent moments
Its a shame David Bateson, the voice actor for 47 in the games is in his 60s, hes got the 47 look going on and maybe 20 years ago wouldve played an excellent live action 47
Holy shit I just googled him and you're so right, he would've been perfect
Love your videos Elvis, always making my day ❤
I like the first movie. It was obviously a way to make a hitman movie in somewhat alternative universe (like the diffrent look of other agents which shouldn't be hard to pull off back then), but it succeded at that. It was hitman enough, it was fun ride, and Timoty Olyphant is a mega chad that actually made this version of a character kinda work, more lighthearted hitman, more reminiscent of new hitman trillogy. That being said i wish there was an amazing Hitman movie but i can't imagine anyone taking the role other than original voice actor. But if it ever happen it has to be "old" Hitman, dark hitman from first few games, even including absolution that while had strange plot points, actually managed to make 47 character even more interesting and fitting.
The badassery Rupert Friend built during his time in Homeland was nowhere to be seen in the Hitman: Agent 47 movie.
I watched these, many many times and never understood what was going on. To this day I can't explain the plot to any of these.
Absolutely loved the first hitman film, timothy olyphant was interesting & funny. He's also brilliant in I am number 4
19:50 you see, 47 is able to fire at his target around the crowd because they are fake npcs. Committing crimes around the fake npcs don't fail SA :)
Both of these were written by Skip Woods who would later on went to write the 5th (and worst) Die Hard movie with director John Moore....who directed the 2008 Max Payne movie.
Bro I watched that Max Payne movie not that long ago. My God I had no idea as to what the hell was even happening throughout the plot lmao
He also wrote X-men Origins: Wolverine 🤮
It's amazing to me that large companies keep handing these people money after making these awful movies. I guess making "enough money" is good enough...
Thank you for making such quality and entertaining videos
one thing that bothers me these directors have a lot of lore and stuff they can use but they are like he is bald and wears a suit and kills ppl what more do u want
Probably because the actual backstory to hitman is bonkers, and the little that is shown is berated by people like the dude who made this video.
the 'facility' her dad is staying in is the flower dome in gardens by the bay which makes it really funny for me to imagine that the employees and people visiting are just wondering why this old man is always in the flower dome and then is suddenly being chased by a man and a girl through the whole park.
I love when you upload Elvis, always looking forward for your next videos. Much Love!
I loved Hitman 1. Bad/Good as Jason Statham in Transporter series!
I wished Timothy Olyfant got more action flicks, but only a few years later he got old and skinny really fast 😭
When Mika says she was sold for $300, I just always assumed she was implying $300 grand. Which makes way more sense profits wise…plus people, especially in movies/tv, often abbreviate $$ amounts that’re in the hundreds of thousands to just a hundreds amount - $300 = $300,000. Kind of like how people who also say “300 large” are really saying $300,000.
I am a Nigerian and we do speak English in Nigeria. Its one of the most common languages there, so its not weird that they speak English
In the first movie, when 47 is integrating the "witness", the tattoo on her face jumps from one side to the other in the same scene. It's amazing and I couldn't believe it when I saw it jump. My friend and I rewounded it so many times.
For the beginning scenes where they showed 47 as a child, they just re-used footage from the series "Dark angel" which also has people with barcodes, but on the back of their necks.
I wonder if you can spot that in this movie, since they should have it on the back of their heads...
Loved Dark Angel when I was young and the re-used scenes caught me off guard.
@ElvistheAlien
2:32 oh well here's your answer lol
so the movie went absolutely in opposite direction than the games ? in the games youre good as dead when your disguise blows and someone sets off the alarm and it becomes a pain to go through the level even with different disguises as different disguises have different detections lol. im happy that atleast the recent triology of hitman concluded with a satisfying ending and a good story overall. 47 was never john wick as he uses his intelligence and mind instead of brute strength even though his reflexes are on par with john wick
Don't get me wrong, the bullet-proof suits they use in John Wick are stupid, but at least they're somewhat compelling and provide a few laughs as well as provide some tangible plot armour. Having a 'sub-dermal layer of titanium' is just outright lazy writing. That's like a kid saying they have a force-field while roleplay-fighting.
I don't think having Titanium or Tungsten or whatever under your skin suddenly makes you able to ignore physics.
Elvis FINALLY covered these movies 😂 I was hoping he would
Agent 47 with hair looks great 😂
Speaking of Jason Statham would love to get an Elvis review on all of the Transporters
So the first movie was definitely based off of Blood Money, but they only read the back of the box. The second movie they just wanted to do John Wick and watched the trailer of Absolution.
Elvis thank you for the code to get the gamersupps sample pack! Ive been wanting to try these forver but it always would cost shipping so thank you once again!
Bro, Nigerias official language IS english. Colonization you know 👀
Never in my life did I imagine seeing Chantal “Animal Abuser” Sarault in an Elvis video. Is she that much of a lolcow that she’s a meme to the general TH-cam public now? 😭
i have never heard of these movies before in my life but i watched this entire thing, riveted lol. a testament to how good you are at this, mr. the alien
It gets funnier when you realise that the 'facility' the father was in is actually gardens by the bay, which is like the equivalent of trying to find someone hiding in new york and the person is just chilling at the central park
One thing that effected him and stopped him from killing her was her tattoo on her face because he asked why she did it and he can relate because of ya know barcode
I didn't even think I watched the first movie as a kid! I just remembered the scene with the girl tied up and I thought it was just a weird dream or something from horror, cause my mom likes to watch them. And it was from this movie. I would never thought as I forgot about it and this scene.
I Love Timothy Olyphant Great Actor very Charismatic & Talented, 1 of my Favorite Actors, Love Hitman 2007, A Perfect Getaway, The Crazies Remake, Gone In 60 Seconds, Dreamcatcher 2003, The Girl Next Door 2004, & I Am Number 4 those are my Favorites Of his ❤
O my god I love those senseless movies. I was hoping you'd make a video of it lol love this alien channel 😂
The killer on Netflix is a true hit man adaption
MAD respect for recognizing Bulgaria. I love you so much for this😭
Or he just looked up the imdb goofs section...
I thought Timothy was by far the best Hitman actor. The dude had the perfect persona about him and, for me, he totally sold it.
Lmao 30 seconds into the vid and the Trump impression has me dying
My biggest question is why the fuck they refuse to just cast 47's actual voice actor.
Holy shit I googled him and he looks exactly like 47
Looks a little too old at this point
@@Terminal_Apotos True, but not in 2007, when the first movie came out. In fact, I think the actor in that movie looked way too young, like 47 has looked late 30's in all of the game.
“I’m also comparing to movies make by seasoned directors” *shows a movie made by first time directors*
3:45 Propably the first time that meme gave me a genuine chuckle. Well played.
Seeing a Foodie Beauty clip put in an ETA video was a very unexpected jumpscare
Well people in Nigeria actually do speak english, its their official language.
I would love to see a review of the National Treasure movies. My favorite videos of yours are the ones where you go over Nicholas Cage movies.
This is one of your best videos. I started watching it and I said to myself, "What a fantastic video." Everyone's saying it. One of the best.
Roach dogg Jr?
What are you doing here
i like that you’re wrong/don’t understand about so much 😭 it makes this whole video so funny
The book version of The Spy Who Loved Me is actually from the perspective of the love interest. Bond doesn't even show up until a 3rd of the book and he kinda is an antagonist at first. It's pretty interesting, tho you can tell Ian Fleming was an old white guy from the 40s by how he writes this lady lol
I swear I heard that even he hated that book because I remember the critics not being very fond of that one.
There's a saying in writing "you cant write a character that's smarter than you" and its 100% true. Agent 47 in these movies are a dumb person's IDEA of a smart person and it shows.
Your editted baldcap was actually really good lol
OMG I was not expecting a Foodie Beauty jump scare in the beginning.
The first movie deserves credit and it did its best to depict embodiment of hitman!
Timothy Olyphant? Oh no, oh no, he looks like a great dane puppy. He emotes way too much. Noooo 😂
Shooting into the ground probably would have been more dangerous. First because of the chance of creating shrapnel either out of the bullet or the material of the sidewalk (I think it's stone or brick, both of which would chip easily enough) or the chance of a ricochet, but secondly because, from a vaguely half remembered Mythbusters episode, falling bullets aren't as dangerous as everyone thinks they are.
The Killer by Fincher is the best Hitman movie.
The original Mechanic film with Charles Bronson
@@darkarchon2006 Good shout. Also better than both Hitman movies.
The level of detail you go into like with the set destinations and stuff doesn’t border on petty, its illegally migrated miles across that border, and i fucking love it.
28:08 well Tbf in the games 47 is a clone of multiple people and has had his genetics altered extensively but also to your credit I’m pretty sure they explain that 47 got his training as a child and wasn’t born with it in the games at least
I agree about the silly trope of people speaking English in every country (even more silly if they start with the first sentence in another language and then switch to English), but English is the official language in Nigeria. So, if this is happening there, they'd likely speak English.
And they're in Niger not Nigeria
elvis i’ve been watching your show for a couple years now but i gotta ask; how do you record for 2 hours and 5 minutes and only get 38 minutes worth of usable material? you can make a whole other video with just bloopers 💀
Amazing movies and amazing video as always, just a note, what you guys call soccer is called football ANYWHERE else in the world, just a little reality check. Love your vids man, greetings from Chile!
"exchange some cringe" I have to use this phrase now. I love it
The Killer from David Fincher is the best Hitman movie we will ever get
They're selling thin, pretty women for $300💀 idk why that one had me dying 😂