Hi Hannah, I'm a midwife-to-be and also have Crohn's disease and am proud owner of a stoma too. Yay. Well, I'm pretty "bummed" out too about all the research that's not taking place. So I kind of have in mind to write my bachelor's thesis about stoma patients who get pregnant and how they give birth and what there questions are beforehand. Stuff like that. Maybe you want to get together about that and work out some idea. Would be sooooo cool!
ANSCHIIIII, yes! Go girl! Ich wollt dir das Video am Freitag zeigen haha Ich hoff du bist jetzt eh die Anschi, die ich mein ;) And the bachelor's thesis is such a great idea!!
I wish more research was done on people with stomas. It would also have an added bonus of giving a lot of info on what the colon does and doesn't do if scientists study people without them. For instance, there seems to be a higher rate of women with hormonal issues whom have ileostomies and no colon and I feel this is because the hepatic portal vein is cauterized and this vein is key in hormonal health. This vein allows excess hormones and toxins to be shuttled to the colon for elimination. Since this is cauterized, these things get reabsorbed more so than eliminated due to the vein not going to the colon. Also, things like immune health, gut Flora, sibo, mental health (serotonin in the gut), nutrients (b vitamins), etc
I decided I didn’t want kids, due to complications from chronic illness, and got my tubes tied at 29, so definitely don’t think you’re silly for deciding you DO want kids before 30!
There is a stigma about having kids 'young' -- BUT like under 20 young. And frankly, you seem leveled head, financially secure, and extremely intelligent. So like, who cares what others say about what you do or don't do. Society judges everything and everyone
Depends on the culture - which varies even within cities. Within wealthier circles in the UK, having a baby under 30 is young. Its "sacrificing" your career. In other circles, it is very common for women to be pregnant in their early twenties, particularly those who dropped out of school at 16
Would definitely like to see the J-Pouch vs permanent stoma video. I'll support you no matter what decisions you make. I know that doesn't mean much but I think a lot of your viewers feel the same.
ElderMillenial I oped for the permanent J pouch and never regretted it for 1 second , I now have two teenage kids and these surgical procedures were done when the were done when they were very young also due to ulcerative colitis
I’ve had two pregnancies with my jpouch. I didn’t have any issues. I did have c-sections with both, trying to avoid fistulas. It didn’t work. I got a fistula
You're financially stable, in a committed relationship, and a permanent home with your partner- I'd say anyone that judges you for having kids at your age needs to mind their own business 🤗
I was told my ileostomy would leave me infertile. I've had my stoma just over 2 years now and I gave birth to my daughter 12 weeks ago. No problems with my stoma all through my pregnancy and I delivered her naturally
Having kids in your late 20s is not having them young in my opinion. Being a feminist means that you get to be empowered to make the choice of when or if you want to bear children. Having a kid at 23 or 25 or 27 or whenever is not "silly" especially if you do it intentionally and with purpose. Eff the opinions of others.
Heartily agree with your overall sentiment but to be fair, since the average age of a woman giving birth to her first child in the UK is now north of 30, technically the late 20s would qualify as young. (I believe the term “young mother” officially tends to refer to mothers between 18 and 25, though.)
This was a really emotional watch for me. I'm 21, had my stoma formed at 19 and had to have my rectum removed due to continuing severe UC this summer. I've always wanted children and I was 20 when I found out that more surgery would reduce my chances of pregnancy but I also knew I needed surgery soon. I spent just under a year, between realising I should probably 'get a move on' (as you put it) and my deadline of surgery, trying to get pregnant. I also found that 'having an excuse' to be pregnant so young was helpful and my mum even said she would support me 100%. Unfortunately, I didn't get pregnant, and when I had my surgery my surgeon said that my rectum was so inflamed it had stuck itself to my vagina!! My boyfriend and I are still hoping we can have kids 'naturally' but I'm facing the prospect of IVF now. I hope this wasn't too much of an overshare but what you said really resonated. Sometimes our bodies just f***ing suck.
Firstly, can we talk about how stunning you look here?! Glowing. I found this video so interesting - what you do with your platform is amazing. I have my first colonoscopy coming up in 2 weeks, and I'm super nervous. I would love if you could do a video on that, or maybe share some tips? As for people judging your choices around children; I honestly think people will judge you for ANYTHING, regardless of what you choose. You do you. You must feel so overwhelmed with all that new information, sending lots of love 💙
@@hannahwitton It really did. Still super nervous, but thank you! Although I didn't get given moviprep or picolax, so I'm not sure what's in store for me! 😂 xx
nothing more feminist to me than a woman making informed decisions about her life, health, and body in order to live her best, most fulfilled life :') rock on hannah i love how you handle everything that comes your way lol thank you for sharing with us
Could be he also meant how the baby presented at birth (breach, face up), since he mentioned the baby not being able to move around as much, and the baby moves into "head down, face down(toward mums bottom)" from being head up during the first 2 trimesters.
I don't have a stoma but I'm currently pregnant at 27. I started my job only 1.5 years ago so still very new to the whole career thing. I wanted and now have a master's degree in engineering but I also always wanted kids. I think it depends on how you manage kids and career. I'm from Germany and we have this wonderful opportunity to take up to 14 months of paid parental leave. So I'm off the first six months and then my partner takes the other eight. With maternity leave before the birth we both take equal time off of work. So even if we just started our careers, me and my partner share the load. A lot of men in Germany don't take time off to care for their children because it will "ruin" their career. Womens careers suffer eaually but in a twisted way it is expected of them to sacrifice the career over children. I think that this is the real problem here. The feminist thing would be to say either parent can care for the kids how and how long they want and that taking care of children isn't only restricted to mothers. Hope that wasn't too off topic but the issue really annoys me these days.
Me too, now that you mentioned it, I think I follow (on tw) a group(?) advocating for more fathers taking parental leave . UK based if I recall it properly. Didn't see any post recently as I rarely open twitter these days, but yeah, that needs to be advocated, popularised a lot more. Worldwide. It's beneficial to everyone involved...
Not to discount your cause because I do think paternity leave is vastly underrated, but I live in the USA so I'm still in absolute shock about the parental leave amount!! Holy crap!!! My job literally offered 0 days maternity leave. ZERO!! Technically they say they can cover your shift for a few days while you recover but it's not paid unless you take vacation days (which is very limited). I basically had to quit when I got pregnant. And this is not considered a crappy job either. I literally can not fathom 14 months.
@@littlemissbekah9722 I have family in the US and it baffles me how people afford to have children at all. First of all no paid leave and on top of that no universal health care system. The system in Germany is far from perfect if you compare it to Scandinavian countries, but the US is just ridiculous. In addition birth control and abortions are harder to get so it's the epiphany of a misogynistic system that often doesn't even give you the option to decide to have a baby. And if you have it, good luck on your own. This makes me so angry and sad!
@@littlemissbekah9722 I'm always in shock when I see how little maternity rights there are in the USA, it's so sad. I see so many women on breastfeeding groups saying they need to go back to work at 3 or 6 weeks and couldn't even imagine it, I could barely function that early on. In the UK you are given the option for shared parental leave but as I was breastfeeding and honestly being a little selfish I took the whole year for myself. This meant I did 95% of the childcare but I got to spend a total of 14 months with my daughter as you accrue leave whilst you are off and I took it at the end.
Your late twenties is such a normal age to have kids, I don't think it's radical or unfeminist or weird at all :) I just turned 28 and feel like I have well passed the window for being 'a young mom'. Thanks for sharing for your journey!
As someone with Fibromyalgia which they literally don't know what it is, I totally understand and relate to your frustration in lack of research. Also relate to the amount of planning that goes into "completing your family" when you have a chronic illness.
Hi Hannah, I have severe endometriosis and I was told by my doctors that I had 6 months after surgery to remove scar tissue and blockages etc to try for children (up to then unsuccessful trying). I was 28. I was told if I was not pregnant within those 6 months I was likely never going to have children naturally and would require medical intervention. I somehow miraculously got pregnant naturally and now have 10 month old TWINS! I was 29 they were born. I also secretly enjoyed the idea I was medically advised to have them because I felt people would think I was too young. I felt young but there’s nothing like children to make you realise how old you actually feel. F the stigma. Have them babies 👶🏼 you go girl x
I’ve had a stoma for nearly three years and I’ve never been told about my higher risk for rectal cancer. This video has definitely given me a list of questions to ask my consultant at my next appointment!
"You can't potty train the kids, you don't know how to poo." 😂😂😂😂 that was good On another note, this is all so interesting! I don't have a disability but I like learning about all of this stuff, things I wouldn't typically think of. Thanks for sharing, and good luck with your journey!
Exactly this, it is that simple really. Above the mid 40s and below 17 or 18 the medical risks are arguably not worth it, but between those confines, there are pros and cons to every single age. Social outcomes a little better for mothers north of 30, medical outcomes better for women between the early and late 20s. There are pros career-wise to having children very young and “getting it out of the way”, there are pros to having them later after getting a career established. It really is a case of what works for you, and arguably by aiming for the late 20s you’re getting some of the benefits of both doing it early and slightly delaying it, if you see what I mean. It’s young, but not young enough that the cons of having children *super* young apply.
Yes exactly. I had my first son at 22, nothing strange about that. He was very much wanted, we felt ready to start a family. I actually want to be DONE having kids before 30. People will judge, they always do so go with whatever feels right to you.
I'm pretty sure they mean 'presents' as in she had an interestingly shaped bump. I know the 'society will judge you regardless' feeling so well, it makes sense that there's a weight off because the doctors have said sooner is ok/preferable.
I'm 23 and due my baby in nine weeks, I don't think theres anything wrong with your age. Being a young parent isnt as taboo as it used to be, so I wouldn't mind what people think.
Back when my mom was pregnant with my older sister it was weird and she already considered old because she was 27. Then she was considered ancient when she was pregnant with my older brother at 34 and I probably basically dead when she had me at 41. Back them having your kids barely out of school was more normal than waiting a bit, these days it's more normal to have them in your late 20s or even sometime in your 30s and that is just 27 years after I was born. Really weird how this shift happened where suddenly people like you are considered the weird ones. I honestly believe that the right age to have kids is different for every person. For one 19 would be too young while it's completely fine for the next person. Some people are only ready when they are 40. I believe in letting people making those choices for themselves.
I feel like being an "older" mother is more taboo than being a young one. They call pregnant women geriatric mothers at 35! Society is to judgmental. Too old, too young... Let's just make our own decisions and not worry about other people. 😉
I had my kid when I was 25, 4 years ago. I don't really understand the need to postpone having kids until after 30 (unless there is an actual reason for it such as having a house, stable job and so on before starting a family). You are more likely to recover faster when you are younger and I think everything is more likely to just be easier on the body. I'm a feminist and that, in my mind, means that I can absolutely start having kids at 25, having the second one on the way at 29 and also be an awesome engineer with a masters degree. You do you!
BlackDragonWitheHawk Not after 30, after about 35. And the increase isn’t steep until after 40. Peak fertility in a woman is approximately 24 - you don’t really decline to any statistically significant extent until 31-32. Contrary to popular belief, you’re actually LESS fertile - by quite a long way - in your teens than you are in your 20s, and the risk of birth defects is higher. From a coldly clinical/biological point of view, the best time to have a baby (and the point at which it will be easiest from a fertility POV) is the mid 20s. Anything after 35/36 or so (for a first baby) and you’re pushing your luck a little, although most women can still conceive within a year or two until at least 40.
Hey Hannah, Last week I found out that I'm pregnant after 9 months of trying. Then she told me that we're having twins which came as a great shock because I never expected this to happen. Twins just don't run in my family. So once you decide to have a baby, be prepared for a great surprise and consult with your doctors beforehand. Just in case...
It isn’t hogwash. We had a plan to discuss “when we have children” at 30. Despite two forms of birth control I became pregnant at 26. The second youngest woman in my prenatal class was a teenager. We were both treated like we were idiots. Since we had no 1, we had number 2 in a few years. That said, my chronic health issues went nuts at 33. If I had not had them before 30, I don’t know if I would have been able to do it. It all worked out, you see. So just do whatever works best for you.
Fellow UK IBD people who want kids - check if your hospital have a joint IBD and Obstetrics clinic! I only found out by accident when they sent me a questionnaire for pregnant people when I was not pregnant (lol). The info said you could meet them prior to pregnancy for advice (everyone seemed confused about this but they did let me in the end) and they give you extra monitoring throughout. Really useful to know. I'm 29, have had a few past surgeries and had my baby by C-section last year. I was recommended to have a planned C-section because ending up needing an emergency one would likely be too dangerous. It went really well. The recovery was hard but made much harder because the painkillers they put me on gave me a partial blockage. I wish I had been warned about that in advance as I spent about a month in unnecessary agony while doctors couldn't figure out the problem! Outside of that everything was good and I'm very happy with my amazing baby girl ❤️
Feminism means also respecting every women's choices and supporting them! It is definitely not "unfeminist" of you if you decide to have children "early", it is just the way you want it and it's your right to decide.
I'm 27 and I'm in SUCH a hurry to get pregnant.. never heard about like, there being a stigma? what? health wise it's better to have your babies early. sounds dumb to me, fam.
I feel like with stigma from other women it's partially leftover trauma from having that worldview taught to you, or seeing yourself/others being forced to have kids (to whatever extent).
I think there is a weird idea that if you have kids young it's because you are (supposedly) uneducated and reckless. The 'smart' thing to do is to wait until you are settled and financially secure of course and there is no way anyone under 30 could be properly prepared for kids. And by doing it later it is clearly a choice you are making rather than the result of pressure from society/family. Which no good feminist would do... Right? Of course this is all hogwash but that's the vibe I get from society. You do you.
Spiffleh i don’t get that kind of thinking either. nobody will ever be prepared enough to have children, it’s a learn as you go kind of thing, no matter what age you are. yes, maybe you have more of an ability to self reflect when you’re older, maybe you have more patience, but not necessarily. physically it’s easier to have children when you’re younger, not just birthing them. there’s upsides and downsides to both, but neither mean you’ll be a better parent. i don’t even understand why people look down on teen parents. your age has nothing to do with your abilities to parent, it all comes down to want and the ability to work at it.
I think the stigma is mostly about people having kids in their teens or early twenties. Like very few 22 year olds would be capable parents due to financial status and so on
Hey Hannah! I just wanted to say that as a nursing student, I love watching your videos because it really gives me keen insight to the psychsocial implications about something that isn't really touched on too heavy in class. It's great to get to hear you talk about all of these things and to kinda learn what patients I know are going to be going through. Thank you for these videos!
Hannah- I totally relate to this feeling of being "too young" to have kids!! I've also always known I want kids before 30 and I completely understand how having a medical "excuse" would make you feel better about doing something you privately have always wanted to do anyways. I also feel this way about ultimately wanting to be a stay at home mom when I raise children. We gotta fight the judgement! You do you!
Take my advice, and don’t take any advice from anyone. Where to start? Complicated life, isn’t it? If you were my lover, or my daughter, the priority would be for you to stay healthy and alive above all other decisions. But that’s just me, and my selfish desires to keep you safe. Your bold, unfettered honesty is amazing. Hannah. Do you have a deceptive bone in your body? My questions would be what risk would there be of one of your children having the same, or similar medical issues, that you or your significant other have. Do the medications you are taking, or your lover, have an increased risk during pregnancy? All medications have risks, even without pregnancy. Oh Hannah, there are no easy answers, are there? Life is so difficult! Much love, Old Ron
You look GLOWING in this video! You are so confident talking about such huge life decisions and I really admire it. Best of luck in your future, I am sure you'll make an amazing mother one day x
I had my son at 26, I always envisaged waiting til I was around 30 and, like you, felt that I was young. I couldn't be happier, it was the right time for our family ❤️
Isn't it ridiculous that people judge women for having children before 30, but people also judge women for not having children before 30. Just have kids when you are stabe and ready, forget everyone else.
You’re my representation, I’m going through something with my sacrum, coccyx and rectum and watching this relieves my surgery anticipation anxiety. Thanks Hannah ❤️
Personally I don't think badly of anyone having kids in their twenties! The only thing that matters is that you are at a stage in your life that you believe you can handle having children and you can provide a good quality of life for them. It just so happens that lots of people aren't ready until their 30s these days but I think you are and I am only ever impressed when others are too.
Late twenties, successful career, long-term partner, if by society standards you shouldn't be having kids yet, or your 'too young' or not ready etc etc, then no one can have kids ever xD I know a lot of women seem to be having kids later, but there is no shame in loving children and wanting to be a mum before the age of 30, or hell, 25 years old. My best friend just had her little girl at 23, she's still in the middle of her master's degree, her partner is barely into his career, but goddamn the amount of love showered on that baby is incredible.
Don’t do that to yourself! Don’t let what other people think of you stop you from living you’re life. I’m 22 and having my first child in February! I knew I wanted to have kids young but I didn’t think I would be THIS young! Of course I’m scared of what people think about me and say about me but I love my fiancé and I am okay with figuring things out as we go!
On the subject of toilet training your kids, your kids will want a stoma, they will want to poo in a bag like mummy does, because they'll want to be special like mummy is and they'll be upset because they can't. Don't be surprised if one day you get a phonecall from a confused teacher asking why your kid has poo'd in a carrier bag "Like mummy." On the upside, at least you'll never be mid shit and have your kids bang on the door going "Mummmy, mummy, mummy!" You panic, stopping your poo to open the door only for them to ask some nonsense like "What's bigger, an elephant, or daddy's bum."
hannah i want to compliment you on the language you used throughout this video. usually i can't even listen to others talking about pregnancy (touchy subject for me) but the way you talked about it made me feel at ease. thank you. keep being you, cause you're awesome!!!
Don't let anyone give you grief for wanting kids while you're young, Hannah! Every woman has a right to choose for themselves what they do or don't want and when.
Late 20s is the best age for kids. Believe me, once you get into your (late) 30s you do NOT want a baby around during the night. You probably do yourself a favor, by getting this "wonderful nights" done with. :D PS: we had our kids at 26/28/34 for my wife (+3 for me)... and believe me, there IS a difference between late twenties and mid thirties.
Hannah, Although you do not talk about "my diseases" and "my many operations;" all of which are closely related to your own. I very much appreciate your courage to share details and give off such a positive vibe! Many videos ago you mentioned while in hospital, mentally you went to "another place." No one else I have ever read of shared your experience similar to my own; especially after being very ill and lying in a hospital room for many months. Keep up the good work!
I would certainly like to see you make a video about your decision-making process for your further surgery options. I really appreciate your stoma/IBD/disability content ❤️
The advice I always gave my kids is NEVER let anyone else tell them who they are, including me. Do what YOU want when YOU want. I'll tell you this much, having kids earlier means you can have a lot of fun and will have more money available after the kids have become independent, and I'm enjoying that time myself right now.
Oh yes, the "having a medical excuse for making the reproductive decisions that I'm making" really resonated with me! I've never thought about it, but I don't want kids (the nerve, I know) and I'm always afraid of people being judgemental, but at least I have a medical reason and I can just say that I'm probably infertile anyway!
Bearing down/pushing like you would do to give birth is not the same as Kegels. In fact it is the opposite because you are using your abdominal muscles to push downward, whereas Kegels involve lifting up/in with your pelvic floor muscles. Thank you for being so open as always and sharing what you are going through with all of us!
I was a 25 year old graduate in a professional job and a homeowner when I fell pregnant - not had any negativity at all about my age even though I was 10 years younger than is “normal” in my profession. Also a chronic illness sufferer so with hindsight I’m glad I went for it and now have a 2 year old at 28.
Hannah, I am 21 and have always felt that I wanted to have kids before I was 30. It is totally not silly but society is definitely judgmental. You would be a LOVELY mom & I would love to see you on that journey! 💗
Hi Hannah, I totally know what you mean about being almost happy to have a medical excuse for your womb decisions; I knew from a young age that I wanted a child but wanted to adopt and did NOT want to give birth; people were like settle down you will want to will you’re older but I never did. Well, joke was on them, endometriosis and PCOS at 17, infertility at 21, and a total hysterectomy at 34! 😆 Also, that was the year I adopted my then 5 year old son from foster care. ❤️
The amount of crap that women get for wanting or not wanting kids is ridiculous. I’m the opposite of you in knowing very young that I did not want kids. Of course I don’t want to downplay medical issues that prevent anyone from getting pregnant, but the amount of times that I’ve been asked WHY I don’t want kids...I wish I had a valid reason that would make someone back off (like a medical one). Anyways, I don’t have a stoma or colitis but I still like watching all of your info videos about it!
My biggest thing is knowledge is power. And I sincerely appreciate the way that you educate and speak so honestly. I have Cerebral Palsy and am super passionate about adults - especially women, vitally need greater access to proper education on how other areas of your life are affected when you have disabilities and chronic illnesses. The internet can be great but can also provide so much false information and anxiety.
I totally get that you feel relieved that you have a medical reason for having kids "early". Like you said, society is so judemental. I don't think your late 20's are late. Maybe it's just where I'm from and the people I know (I'm 25 and live in Sweden) but I have several friends my age and younger having kids now and no one thinks it's too early. I'm single now but when I was in a long term relationship (I was 21-24) people asked me about if we were planning to have kids. I want to wait until I'm 30, if I decide to have kids at all, and people around me seem to think that's weird or a bit late... So you do you, there's always going to be people that think you're doing it wrong anyway. Interesting video!
Hannah, before i even get past the intro, I have to comment that you look absolutely glowing and gorgeous in this video!! (You do always but this one in particular!) your makeup is beautiful xx
I feel like the most feminist thing is to have kids whenever you feel you are ready. To make that choice for yourself is amazing, right?! Since my mom had me at 25, I've always wanted to have kids before my thirties, but my life doesn't seem to be working out that way right now. Which is also fine, life just goes it's way. But I'd say, don't let other's opinions influence your decisions, only you know what's right for yourself.
I was the same my mum had me at 19 and I had always wanted a child young plus you apparently recover faster when it young but I had my first child at 18 and I would not change her for the world. I don't think it matters what age you have a child as long as ur happy and that's what u want then go ahead and do it.
17:06; Yes, generally speaking cesarean delivery is made horizontally, but in case of someone who have a old midline scar, performing a vertical incision over same scar is prefered for cosmotic reasons. Great video Hannah. 👍🏽😄
Anyone with a stoma can get pregnant (as long as there are no fertility issues). However usually other circumstances medically can prevent you from being able to get pregnant or it is not advisable. The biggest reasons are medications (many medications can not be used during pregnancy) and other health conditions. For me personally I have an ileostomy and central line and two feeding tubes, I also have a rare genetic disease with a double type combination one of those types being vascular. My disease if you have it you have a 50% chance of passing it on to your child. Because of my condition, how severe my issues are, and the comorbid issues I have as well as some other unrelated conditions having a child biologically is completely out of the question for me. It would kill me or the potential child or both. And at the minimum it would cause severe disease progression. So while the answer is technically yes there are so many considerations to think about.
I had two kids by 24, I loved being a young mum, and now I LOVE having an empty nest and being independent and concentrating on my career at 50.. all routes have advantages and disadvantages.
My wife had a perm stoma 15 years ago, we were told,it was unlikely she would get pregnant, however we had twins, delivered with c section, they are now 13 and we are all fine . Good luck
I also had doctors orders to get move on for health reasons - endometriosis! Best decision we ever made - I got pregnant at 25 and was definitely judged by people! You do you!
In my experience I’ve seen more stigma around older mums. For example I’m 22 and would like kids around 25-27 and that’s always been ‘normal’ to me. Everyone is different though and it shouldn’t matter what age you are as long as you are healthy and can support a child😊
It's obviously easier said than done, but life is so much better when you stop giving a shit about other people's opinions about you and what you do. You do whatever you want to do and whatever is the best option and don't listen to anyone who tells you otherwise, it's not anyone's place to judge anyone else. Whatever you choose to do, I wish you luck ❤
I was 24 when I was diagnosed with endometriosis and made the decision to start having kids because I knew that there was a possibility of fertility issues in the future. I had planned to wait a few more years but I'm 29 now with a four year old and I'm glad I did. Not sure if I want more, my partner and I are thinking about it. Younger moms exist and we are just fine!! Being a parent is hard as hell no matter how old you are.
Having kids young because you want to is still totally valid and feminist af! I really appreciate these videos about life with a stoma. I feel like there isn't a whole lot of easily accessible information on this kind of stuff so it's really awesome that you are sharing this with the people and sharing something so intimate and personal!
I was diagnosed with severe UC at 18, a few months later had a colectomy and then a year later had a j-pouch created. My surgeries were all laparoscopic which I was told would decrease the risk of scar tissue forming. At the time I didn’t really consider the fertility aspect as I knew I wouldn’t be having kids for a while and I was keen to get rid of my stoma. Pre surgery I was also on medications that I was told *may* impact my fertility. Now at 25 I’m pretty concerned about my ability to have kids in the future, however my colorectal surgeon has reassured me that it is still possible. He also strongly recommended a c-section to preserve sphincter function as j-pouchers that have vaginal births apparently have a higher risk of incontinence. Thanks so much for sharing your journey, I’ll be following along :)
Just get kids when you want to, do not think about what others think. ☺️💪🏻🍀 My mum wanted children under 30 years old, I was her last child when she was 29 years old. 😸 She is still so happy that she did. Wish you much luck and succes! ❤
I was told that my fertility was possibly decreased by 50% because of the fact that they muck about in the pelvic area - moving the fillopean tubes and stuff - that can create scarring inside that makes it harder to get pregnant... In Denmark we are told that we are eligible to get help to get pregnant if we wanted to.... So even if I wanted kids after the j-pouch I could have done that... I was also told that c-section was garanteed... The biggest issue for us were to find the contraception that would work for us... I couldn’t use the pill because of the faster pace inside- I tried a p-ring - that didn’t work for us... We ended up choosing that my husband got a vasectomy, because i had kids from before my illness... About kegel - I kept doing them between surgeries - because it was important to have a strong rectum to keep in the softer output.... I was 20 when I had my son ( not planned) - so I get the aspect of not wanting to be judged - but you also need to remember that the older you get the harder it can be to get pregnant - when we hit 30 we are actually almost more than mid way through our fertile years... Our bodies are made to have kids younger - so I personally don’t get the stigma coming with it... Personally I only find it ‘too young’ if someone is under 20 or are very immature - but other than that I don’t have a problem.... I have 3 nieces that have had their first kid in their early 20s... and sure - it’s harder, but they make it work and they are thriving ;) Another bonus - with younger parents often come younger grandparents - who can do more with the kids ;)
I think you have all on your side to have a child! You want it, your partner wants it and your health needs you to do it sooner rather than later. I went to uni with a girl that has Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, and having a pregnancy in her (very) young years was what was recommended to her. She went on and have a child with her equally young partner, studied an MA at Oxford (with her husband and her baby living with her, and getting awards!), then it was his turn and he studied an MA at Cambridge. When you're that young, you have the energy for that and even more! I had my first child at 37, my second at 39. I wouldn't recommend to anyone to be an "old parent". On the one hand, because your body has the ability to recover much more easily from the massive change and physical stress that a pregnancy and a birth are. On the other, because you are much able to "survive" to the sleepless nights and the crazy energy that toddlers have. There is also this thing I already commented on: you now have lots of ideas and things going on and you're doing great, and although you will have to adapt yourself to your new situation, you're still young enough to be able to do it (almost) all. When you reach your late thirties/early forties, you are at a great moment if you are a creator. You are still young but you have lived enough to create more powerful content. Having discussed this with artists and creators from different disciplines, it's a wonderful age. If your children are more than ten when you're in your forties, that's great! I now find myself that I am forty with children that are still very dependent. It's ok, though! Regarding feminism... I am a radical feminist and I have been breastfeeding for almost 4 years now (first one child and now the other, who is 17 months now. I plan to continue until he's two). Does this make me less of a feminist? I don't think so. I have taken my children to rehearsals and gigs with me, have breastfed them on the stage... I have been trying to make my rights, and that of my children, visible. This would be a long debate, but feminism should not demonise maternity. (Excuse me for my English, it's my third language).
I just have to say you seem very positive person. It takes a lot of courage to talk about these things potentially for hundreds of thousands of people. I watched (or tried to) the video you made after the first surgeon and I'm really amazed how you can just tell about these things like that. I'm not very sensitive guy, I've seen all kind of crap on the internet, some really disgusting stuff and all but I just couldn't listen the story to the end. After the part of "crapping just blood" I had to stop.. Okay it's not the end of the world to have a stoma or go through all that, but I don't know could I just 'get over it' as fast as you. Or at all. You are incredibly strong person. My 'two cents' into the getting kids matter: If you want kids and you are in a good relationship and can afford it: Go for it. No matter the age. If you don't want kids: You don't have to. Age doesn't matter on this case either. Society doesn't care about individuals or their wishes, so you will have much more pleasant life if you do what you want, not what other people want you to do. I know many people who've got kids in their early (or late) twenties. And I also know people who've decided they don't want kids, ever. I think nobody else have a right to say yes or no about the matter but the person's whose life it affects.
My husband and I decided to start trying to get pregnant right away after we got married. I was 20 and he was 21. We got a lot of crap about it but we made the decisions that were/are right for us. We are 23 and 24 with a 1 and a half year old. We are a very happy family of 3. It worked out because it was what we wanted and could handle
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Hi Hannah,
I'm a midwife-to-be and also have Crohn's disease and am proud owner of a stoma too. Yay. Well, I'm pretty "bummed" out too about all the research that's not taking place. So I kind of have in mind to write my bachelor's thesis about stoma patients who get pregnant and how they give birth and what there questions are beforehand. Stuff like that. Maybe you want to get together about that and work out some idea. Would be sooooo cool!
ANSCHIIIII, yes! Go girl! Ich wollt dir das Video am Freitag zeigen haha
Ich hoff du bist jetzt eh die Anschi, die ich mein ;)
And the bachelor's thesis is such a great idea!!
@@tessabogdanovics1329 tessssaaaa :D such a coincidence!! Müss ma am Donnerstag reden :D
I wish more research was done on people with stomas. It would also have an added bonus of giving a lot of info on what the colon does and doesn't do if scientists study people without them. For instance, there seems to be a higher rate of women with hormonal issues whom have ileostomies and no colon and I feel this is because the hepatic portal vein is cauterized and this vein is key in hormonal health. This vein allows excess hormones and toxins to be shuttled to the colon for elimination. Since this is cauterized, these things get reabsorbed more so than eliminated due to the vein not going to the colon. Also, things like immune health, gut Flora, sibo, mental health (serotonin in the gut), nutrients (b vitamins), etc
iirc hannah doesn't help with thesis' as a rule but she may have changed her mind on that
Oooh yeah! Definitely do that!!
I decided I didn’t want kids, due to complications from chronic illness, and got my tubes tied at 29, so definitely don’t think you’re silly for deciding you DO want kids before 30!
Hannah team up with Mama Doctor Jones (US OBGYN) for a collab on this topic!!!
This is such a good idea!
YASSSS
My wife died from Lung Cancer two and Nine Months ago but you are Alive Thanks to God the All Mighty. May he Bless you in All you do, by for now.
You should write I children's book about stomas. "Everybody Poops, Except Hannah" 🤣
this made me laugh out loud
There is a stigma about having kids 'young' -- BUT like under 20 young. And frankly, you seem leveled head, financially secure, and extremely intelligent. So like, who cares what others say about what you do or don't do. Society judges everything and everyone
same, i was thinking "you call having kids under 30 young?! oh wow"
Depends on the culture - which varies even within cities. Within wealthier circles in the UK, having a baby under 30 is young. Its "sacrificing" your career. In other circles, it is very common for women to be pregnant in their early twenties, particularly those who dropped out of school at 16
Would definitely like to see the J-Pouch vs permanent stoma video. I'll support you no matter what decisions you make. I know that doesn't mean much but I think a lot of your viewers feel the same.
ElderMillenial I oped for the permanent J pouch and never regretted it for 1 second , I now have two teenage kids and these surgical procedures were done when the were done when they were very young also due to ulcerative colitis
@@tonywampler166 +
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I’ve had two pregnancies with my jpouch. I didn’t have any issues. I did have c-sections with both, trying to avoid fistulas. It didn’t work. I got a fistula
You're financially stable, in a committed relationship, and a permanent home with your partner- I'd say anyone that judges you for having kids at your age needs to mind their own business 🤗
I was told my ileostomy would leave me infertile. I've had my stoma just over 2 years now and I gave birth to my daughter 12 weeks ago. No problems with my stoma all through my pregnancy and I delivered her naturally
Having kids in your late 20s is not having them young in my opinion. Being a feminist means that you get to be empowered to make the choice of when or if you want to bear children. Having a kid at 23 or 25 or 27 or whenever is not "silly" especially if you do it intentionally and with purpose. Eff the opinions of others.
Heartily agree with your overall sentiment but to be fair, since the average age of a woman giving birth to her first child in the UK is now north of 30, technically the late 20s would qualify as young.
(I believe the term “young mother” officially tends to refer to mothers between 18 and 25, though.)
This was a really emotional watch for me. I'm 21, had my stoma formed at 19 and had to have my rectum removed due to continuing severe UC this summer. I've always wanted children and I was 20 when I found out that more surgery would reduce my chances of pregnancy but I also knew I needed surgery soon. I spent just under a year, between realising I should probably 'get a move on' (as you put it) and my deadline of surgery, trying to get pregnant. I also found that 'having an excuse' to be pregnant so young was helpful and my mum even said she would support me 100%. Unfortunately, I didn't get pregnant, and when I had my surgery my surgeon said that my rectum was so inflamed it had stuck itself to my vagina!! My boyfriend and I are still hoping we can have kids 'naturally' but I'm facing the prospect of IVF now. I hope this wasn't too much of an overshare but what you said really resonated. Sometimes our bodies just f***ing suck.
Firstly, can we talk about how stunning you look here?! Glowing. I found this video so interesting - what you do with your platform is amazing. I have my first colonoscopy coming up in 2 weeks, and I'm super nervous. I would love if you could do a video on that, or maybe share some tips? As for people judging your choices around children; I honestly think people will judge you for ANYTHING, regardless of what you choose. You do you. You must feel so overwhelmed with all that new information, sending lots of love 💙
She did a video about getting colonoscopy back in May! It's worth a watch!
@@MrsMster Oh I must have missed it! Off to find it now, thank you!!! 💙
as people have already said - already done a video about colonoscopies! hope it helps :) xx
@@hannahwitton It really did. Still super nervous, but thank you! Although I didn't get given moviprep or picolax, so I'm not sure what's in store for me! 😂 xx
@@stagetopage What is your prep? I'm going in for scope number 6 in a couple weeks!
nothing more feminist to me than a woman making informed decisions about her life, health, and body in order to live her best, most fulfilled life :') rock on hannah i love how you handle everything that comes your way lol thank you for sharing with us
she showed in a weird way = the bump didn't look like most bumps
That's how I read it too
Could be he also meant how the baby presented at birth (breach, face up), since he mentioned the baby not being able to move around as much, and the baby moves into "head down, face down(toward mums bottom)" from being head up during the first 2 trimesters.
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Sara Morgan Sollesnes I know why you mean but seems unlikely, “showing” is v standard terminology for the appearance of a bump.
This is completely off topic but I love your hair like this Hannah!
I was thinking exactly the same! She looks smokin
randomly watching this in 2022 and finding all of Hannahs answers very interesting after watching her pregnancy videos
I don't have a stoma but I'm currently pregnant at 27. I started my job only 1.5 years ago so still very new to the whole career thing. I wanted and now have a master's degree in engineering but I also always wanted kids. I think it depends on how you manage kids and career. I'm from Germany and we have this wonderful opportunity to take up to 14 months of paid parental leave. So I'm off the first six months and then my partner takes the other eight. With maternity leave before the birth we both take equal time off of work. So even if we just started our careers, me and my partner share the load. A lot of men in Germany don't take time off to care for their children because it will "ruin" their career. Womens careers suffer eaually but in a twisted way it is expected of them to sacrifice the career over children. I think that this is the real problem here. The feminist thing would be to say either parent can care for the kids how and how long they want and that taking care of children isn't only restricted to mothers. Hope that wasn't too off topic but the issue really annoys me these days.
Me too,
now that you mentioned it, I think I follow (on tw) a group(?) advocating for more fathers taking parental leave . UK based if I recall it properly.
Didn't see any post recently as I rarely open twitter these days, but yeah, that needs to be advocated, popularised a lot more. Worldwide.
It's beneficial to everyone involved...
Not to discount your cause because I do think paternity leave is vastly underrated, but I live in the USA so I'm still in absolute shock about the parental leave amount!! Holy crap!!! My job literally offered 0 days maternity leave. ZERO!! Technically they say they can cover your shift for a few days while you recover but it's not paid unless you take vacation days (which is very limited). I basically had to quit when I got pregnant. And this is not considered a crappy job either. I literally can not fathom 14 months.
@@littlemissbekah9722 I have family in the US and it baffles me how people afford to have children at all. First of all no paid leave and on top of that no universal health care system. The system in Germany is far from perfect if you compare it to Scandinavian countries, but the US is just ridiculous. In addition birth control and abortions are harder to get so it's the epiphany of a misogynistic system that often doesn't even give you the option to decide to have a baby. And if you have it, good luck on your own. This makes me so angry and sad!
@@littlemissbekah9722 I'm always in shock when I see how little maternity rights there are in the USA, it's so sad. I see so many women on breastfeeding groups saying they need to go back to work at 3 or 6 weeks and couldn't even imagine it, I could barely function that early on.
In the UK you are given the option for shared parental leave but as I was breastfeeding and honestly being a little selfish I took the whole year for myself. This meant I did 95% of the childcare but I got to spend a total of 14 months with my daughter as you accrue leave whilst you are off and I took it at the end.
@@littlemissbekah9722 I don't want to click thumbs down on you personally, but this is so, so sad. My heart goes out to you.
Your late twenties is such a normal age to have kids, I don't think it's radical or unfeminist or weird at all :) I just turned 28 and feel like I have well passed the window for being 'a young mom'. Thanks for sharing for your journey!
You can definitely have children at your age! You dont need an excuse
"society is really judgemental about what people do with their wombs" omg Hannah YES.
As someone with Fibromyalgia which they literally don't know what it is, I totally understand and relate to your frustration in lack of research. Also relate to the amount of planning that goes into "completing your family" when you have a chronic illness.
Hi Hannah, I have severe endometriosis and I was told by my doctors that I had 6 months after surgery to remove scar tissue and blockages etc to try for children (up to then unsuccessful trying). I was 28. I was told if I was not pregnant within those 6 months I was likely never going to have children naturally and would require medical intervention. I somehow miraculously got pregnant naturally and now have 10 month old TWINS! I was 29 they were born. I also secretly enjoyed the idea I was medically advised to have them because I felt people would think I was too young. I felt young but there’s nothing like children to make you realise how old you actually feel. F the stigma. Have them babies 👶🏼 you go girl x
I’ve had a stoma for nearly three years and I’ve never been told about my higher risk for rectal cancer. This video has definitely given me a list of questions to ask my consultant at my next appointment!
"You can't potty train the kids, you don't know how to poo." 😂😂😂😂 that was good
On another note, this is all so interesting! I don't have a disability but I like learning about all of this stuff, things I wouldn't typically think of. Thanks for sharing, and good luck with your journey!
Just have kids, if you want to. There is no perfect time for it.
This!!!
Exactly this, it is that simple really. Above the mid 40s and below 17 or 18 the medical risks are arguably not worth it, but between those confines, there are pros and cons to every single age. Social outcomes a little better for mothers north of 30, medical outcomes better for women between the early and late 20s. There are pros career-wise to having children very young and “getting it out of the way”, there are pros to having them later after getting a career established. It really is a case of what works for you, and arguably by aiming for the late 20s you’re getting some of the benefits of both doing it early and slightly delaying it, if you see what I mean. It’s young, but not young enough that the cons of having children *super* young apply.
Not a Doctor??
I THOUGHT ALL BRITISH PEOPLE WERE THE DOCTOR
Time to stock up on jelly babies...
Captain Robert April or just reverse the polarity of the neutron flow!
No that's why the waiting lists on the NHS are long! Because there's only 13 doctors! Hehe
why is now strange for people have kids under 30 People need to mind there own business
If ppl all did that half the problems out there wouldn’t be...
Rui Silva nah there are already way too many teens getting pregnant in this world today which just creates even more problems
Yes exactly. I had my first son at 22, nothing strange about that. He was very much wanted, we felt ready to start a family. I actually want to be DONE having kids before 30. People will judge, they always do so go with whatever feels right to you.
Alexis Riley I get what you’re saying but I just wanted to point out that teen pregnancy and teen sex is at an all time low right now
Bill Thomson I know, I’m 23 and I know plenty of people my age who are married with babies
I'm pretty sure they mean 'presents' as in she had an interestingly shaped bump.
I know the 'society will judge you regardless' feeling so well, it makes sense that there's a weight off because the doctors have said sooner is ok/preferable.
right?!?!
You look absolutely beautiful in this video.
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"Showed in a weird way" is about where the bump is and its shape
I'm 23 and due my baby in nine weeks, I don't think theres anything wrong with your age. Being a young parent isnt as taboo as it used to be, so I wouldn't mind what people think.
Back when my mom was pregnant with my older sister it was weird and she already considered old because she was 27. Then she was considered ancient when she was pregnant with my older brother at 34 and I probably basically dead when she had me at 41.
Back them having your kids barely out of school was more normal than waiting a bit, these days it's more normal to have them in your late 20s or even sometime in your 30s and that is just 27 years after I was born.
Really weird how this shift happened where suddenly people like you are considered the weird ones.
I honestly believe that the right age to have kids is different for every person. For one 19 would be too young while it's completely fine for the next person. Some people are only ready when they are 40.
I believe in letting people making those choices for themselves.
I feel like being an "older" mother is more taboo than being a young one. They call pregnant women geriatric mothers at 35!
Society is to judgmental. Too old, too young...
Let's just make our own decisions and not worry about other people.
😉
@Speaking Truth That was exactly my point.
I had my kid when I was 25, 4 years ago. I don't really understand the need to postpone having kids until after 30 (unless there is an actual reason for it such as having a house, stable job and so on before starting a family). You are more likely to recover faster when you are younger and I think everything is more likely to just be easier on the body.
I'm a feminist and that, in my mind, means that I can absolutely start having kids at 25, having the second one on the way at 29 and also be an awesome engineer with a masters degree. You do you!
eydis90 the kids healthrisks during pregnancy increase significally after 30...
BlackDragonWitheHawk Not after 30, after about 35. And the increase isn’t steep until after 40.
Peak fertility in a woman is approximately 24 - you don’t really decline to any statistically significant extent until 31-32. Contrary to popular belief, you’re actually LESS fertile - by quite a long way - in your teens than you are in your 20s, and the risk of birth defects is higher.
From a coldly clinical/biological point of view, the best time to have a baby (and the point at which it will be easiest from a fertility POV) is the mid 20s. Anything after 35/36 or so (for a first baby) and you’re pushing your luck a little, although most women can still conceive within a year or two until at least 40.
Charlie V true with the before 20, and maybe it's 35... but the ideal years are 20-29...
Hannah’s body:
“can’t I get a break?”🤕
Hey Hannah,
Last week I found out that I'm pregnant after 9 months of trying. Then she told me that we're having twins which came as a great shock because I never expected this to happen. Twins just don't run in my family.
So once you decide to have a baby, be prepared for a great surprise and consult with your doctors beforehand. Just in case...
It isn’t hogwash. We had a plan to discuss “when we have children” at 30. Despite two forms of birth control I became pregnant at 26. The second youngest woman in my prenatal class was a teenager. We were both treated like we were idiots. Since we had no 1, we had number 2 in a few years.
That said, my chronic health issues went nuts at 33. If I had not had them before 30, I don’t know if I would have been able to do it.
It all worked out, you see. So just do whatever works best for you.
If one parent has IBD, there is a 5-10% risk of the child developing IBD. If both parents have IBD, the risk is about 33%. (Per Cleveland Clinic)
Fellow UK IBD people who want kids - check if your hospital have a joint IBD and Obstetrics clinic! I only found out by accident when they sent me a questionnaire for pregnant people when I was not pregnant (lol). The info said you could meet them prior to pregnancy for advice (everyone seemed confused about this but they did let me in the end) and they give you extra monitoring throughout. Really useful to know.
I'm 29, have had a few past surgeries and had my baby by C-section last year. I was recommended to have a planned C-section because ending up needing an emergency one would likely be too dangerous. It went really well. The recovery was hard but made much harder because the painkillers they put me on gave me a partial blockage. I wish I had been warned about that in advance as I spent about a month in unnecessary agony while doctors couldn't figure out the problem! Outside of that everything was good and I'm very happy with my amazing baby girl ❤️
Feminism means also respecting every women's choices and supporting them! It is definitely not "unfeminist" of you if you decide to have children "early", it is just the way you want it and it's your right to decide.
Just putting it out there that "I wanted to" is a perfectly feminist reason for having kids - whenever you want to have them.
Feminism is about giving women choices.
You are still Alive & that is more important than anything You can think 🤔 of or About, from me.
You have such a positive attitude in dealing with your condition. You are an inspiration.
I'm 27 and I'm in SUCH a hurry to get pregnant.. never heard about like, there being a stigma? what? health wise it's better to have your babies early. sounds dumb to me, fam.
I feel like with stigma from other women it's partially leftover trauma from having that worldview taught to you, or seeing yourself/others being forced to have kids (to whatever extent).
I think there is a weird idea that if you have kids young it's because you are (supposedly) uneducated and reckless. The 'smart' thing to do is to wait until you are settled and financially secure of course and there is no way anyone under 30 could be properly prepared for kids. And by doing it later it is clearly a choice you are making rather than the result of pressure from society/family. Which no good feminist would do... Right?
Of course this is all hogwash but that's the vibe I get from society. You do you.
Spiffleh i don’t get that kind of thinking either. nobody will ever be prepared enough to have children, it’s a learn as you go kind of thing, no matter what age you are. yes, maybe you have more of an ability to self reflect when you’re older, maybe you have more patience, but not necessarily. physically it’s easier to have children when you’re younger, not just birthing them. there’s upsides and downsides to both, but neither mean you’ll be a better parent. i don’t even understand why people look down on teen parents. your age has nothing to do with your abilities to parent, it all comes down to want and the ability to work at it.
I think the stigma is mostly about people having kids in their teens or early twenties. Like very few 22 year olds would be capable parents due to financial status and so on
Hey Hannah! I just wanted to say that as a nursing student, I love watching your videos because it really gives me keen insight to the psychsocial implications about something that isn't really touched on too heavy in class. It's great to get to hear you talk about all of these things and to kinda learn what patients I know are going to be going through. Thank you for these videos!
I wonder if Hannah plans to write a book about her experience with chronic disease and with Mona!
Would read.
Hannah- I totally relate to this feeling of being "too young" to have kids!! I've also always known I want kids before 30 and I completely understand how having a medical "excuse" would make you feel better about doing something you privately have always wanted to do anyways. I also feel this way about ultimately wanting to be a stay at home mom when I raise children. We gotta fight the judgement! You do you!
Screw them have babies when you want I knew I would struggle to conceive so had my first at 25 after 2 years of trying, best thing I’ve ever done x
Take my advice, and don’t take any advice from anyone. Where to start? Complicated life, isn’t it? If you were my lover, or my daughter, the priority would be for you to stay healthy and alive above all other decisions. But that’s just me, and my selfish desires to keep you safe. Your bold, unfettered honesty is amazing. Hannah. Do you have a deceptive bone in your body? My questions would be what risk would there be of one of your children having the same, or similar medical issues, that you or your significant other have. Do the medications you are taking, or your lover, have an increased risk during pregnancy? All medications have risks, even without pregnancy. Oh Hannah, there are no easy answers, are there? Life is so difficult!
Much love,
Old Ron
After watching this video I think you could make a really good collaboration with Doctor Mike
Or Mama Doctor Jones!
You look GLOWING in this video! You are so confident talking about such huge life decisions and I really admire it. Best of luck in your future, I am sure you'll make an amazing mother one day x
I had my son at 26, I always envisaged waiting til I was around 30 and, like you, felt that I was young. I couldn't be happier, it was the right time for our family ❤️
Isn't it ridiculous that people judge women for having children before 30, but people also judge women for not having children before 30. Just have kids when you are stabe and ready, forget everyone else.
You’re my representation, I’m going through something with my sacrum, coccyx and rectum and watching this relieves my surgery anticipation anxiety. Thanks Hannah ❤️
Personally I don't think badly of anyone having kids in their twenties! The only thing that matters is that you are at a stage in your life that you believe you can handle having children and you can provide a good quality of life for them. It just so happens that lots of people aren't ready until their 30s these days but I think you are and I am only ever impressed when others are too.
I can't believe you STILL haven't made a video about getting engagged???
Hey claire, how do you know she got engaged?! 😊
Engagged? As in, getting in a gag?
Late twenties, successful career, long-term partner, if by society standards you shouldn't be having kids yet, or your 'too young' or not ready etc etc, then no one can have kids ever xD I know a lot of women seem to be having kids later, but there is no shame in loving children and wanting to be a mum before the age of 30, or hell, 25 years old. My best friend just had her little girl at 23, she's still in the middle of her master's degree, her partner is barely into his career, but goddamn the amount of love showered on that baby is incredible.
Don’t do that to yourself! Don’t let what other people think of you stop you from living you’re life. I’m 22 and having my first child in February! I knew I wanted to have kids young but I didn’t think I would be THIS young! Of course I’m scared of what people think about me and say about me but I love my fiancé and I am okay with figuring things out as we go!
On the subject of toilet training your kids, your kids will want a stoma, they will want to poo in a bag like mummy does, because they'll want to be special like mummy is and they'll be upset because they can't. Don't be surprised if one day you get a phonecall from a confused teacher asking why your kid has poo'd in a carrier bag "Like mummy." On the upside, at least you'll never be mid shit and have your kids bang on the door going "Mummmy, mummy, mummy!" You panic, stopping your poo to open the door only for them to ask some nonsense like "What's bigger, an elephant, or daddy's bum."
Haha totally. I used to put soap on my legs and take it off with my finger to mimic my mum shaving her legs when I was a child.
😂😂😂
I just had a kid at 27, I wanted to be a young mum and have career time after kids!
hannah i want to compliment you on the language you used throughout this video. usually i can't even listen to others talking about pregnancy (touchy subject for me) but the way you talked about it made me feel at ease. thank you. keep being you, cause you're awesome!!!
Hey Hannah. I'm 28 years old and 8 weeks pregnant. I did it on purpose and I'm so happy! It's possible. Do what you want!! ❤️
Don't let anyone give you grief for wanting kids while you're young, Hannah! Every woman has a right to choose for themselves what they do or don't want and when.
Late 20s is the best age for kids. Believe me, once you get into your (late) 30s you do NOT want a baby around during the night. You probably do yourself a favor, by getting this "wonderful nights" done with. :D
PS: we had our kids at 26/28/34 for my wife (+3 for me)... and believe me, there IS a difference between late twenties and mid thirties.
Totally unrelated but I really like your hair colour Hannah!
Hannah,
Although you do not talk about "my diseases" and "my many operations;" all of which are closely related to your own. I very much appreciate your courage to share details and give off such a positive vibe!
Many videos ago you mentioned while in hospital, mentally you went to "another place." No one else I have ever read of shared your experience similar to my own; especially after being very ill and lying in a hospital room for many months.
Keep up the good work!
I would certainly like to see you make a video about your decision-making process for your further surgery options. I really appreciate your stoma/IBD/disability content ❤️
The advice I always gave my kids is NEVER let anyone else tell them who they are, including me. Do what YOU want when YOU want.
I'll tell you this much, having kids earlier means you can have a lot of fun and will have more money available after the kids have become independent, and I'm enjoying that time myself right now.
Oh yes, the "having a medical excuse for making the reproductive decisions that I'm making" really resonated with me! I've never thought about it, but I don't want kids (the nerve, I know) and I'm always afraid of people being judgemental, but at least I have a medical reason and I can just say that I'm probably infertile anyway!
Pleaaase post a video about the pros & cons about J-pouch surgery vs permanent stoma!
Literally the debate I’m having with my stoma too 🙄😩
You have a stable relationship, home, career, I really don't see why you should have to wait for an arbitrary age. You do you!
Bearing down/pushing like you would do to give birth is not the same as Kegels. In fact it is the opposite because you are using your abdominal muscles to push downward, whereas Kegels involve lifting up/in with your pelvic floor muscles.
Thank you for being so open as always and sharing what you are going through with all of us!
I was a 25 year old graduate in a professional job and a homeowner when I fell pregnant - not had any negativity at all about my age even though I was 10 years younger than is “normal” in my profession. Also a chronic illness sufferer so with hindsight I’m glad I went for it and now have a 2 year old at 28.
Hannah, I am 21 and have always felt that I wanted to have kids before I was 30. It is totally not silly but society is definitely judgmental. You would be a LOVELY mom & I would love to see you on that journey! 💗
Brave of you to talk about how you're relieved about how it will ease some of the societal judgement. Thanks
Hi Hannah, I totally know what you mean about being almost happy to have a medical excuse for your womb decisions; I knew from a young age that I wanted a child but wanted to adopt and did NOT want to give birth; people were like settle down you will want to will you’re older but I never did. Well, joke was on them, endometriosis and PCOS at 17, infertility at 21, and a total hysterectomy at 34! 😆 Also, that was the year I adopted my then 5 year old son from foster care. ❤️
The amount of crap that women get for wanting or not wanting kids is ridiculous. I’m the opposite of you in knowing very young that I did not want kids. Of course I don’t want to downplay medical issues that prevent anyone from getting pregnant, but the amount of times that I’ve been asked WHY I don’t want kids...I wish I had a valid reason that would make someone back off (like a medical one).
Anyways, I don’t have a stoma or colitis but I still like watching all of your info videos about it!
My biggest thing is knowledge is power. And I sincerely appreciate the way that you educate and speak so honestly. I have Cerebral Palsy and am super passionate about adults - especially women, vitally need greater access to proper education on how other areas of your life are affected when you have disabilities and chronic illnesses. The internet can be great but can also provide so much false information and anxiety.
I totally get that you feel relieved that you have a medical reason for having kids "early". Like you said, society is so judemental. I don't think your late 20's are late. Maybe it's just where I'm from and the people I know (I'm 25 and live in Sweden) but I have several friends my age and younger having kids now and no one thinks it's too early. I'm single now but when I was in a long term relationship (I was 21-24) people asked me about if we were planning to have kids. I want to wait until I'm 30, if I decide to have kids at all, and people around me seem to think that's weird or a bit late... So you do you, there's always going to be people that think you're doing it wrong anyway.
Interesting video!
Hannah, before i even get past the intro, I have to comment that you look absolutely glowing and gorgeous in this video!! (You do always but this one in particular!) your makeup is beautiful xx
I feel like the most feminist thing is to have kids whenever you feel you are ready. To make that choice for yourself is amazing, right?!
Since my mom had me at 25, I've always wanted to have kids before my thirties, but my life doesn't seem to be working out that way right now. Which is also fine, life just goes it's way. But I'd say, don't let other's opinions influence your decisions, only you know what's right for yourself.
I was the same my mum had me at 19 and I had always wanted a child young plus you apparently recover faster when it young but I had my first child at 18 and I would not change her for the world. I don't think it matters what age you have a child as long as ur happy and that's what u want then go ahead and do it.
17:06; Yes, generally speaking cesarean delivery is made horizontally, but in case of someone who have a old midline scar, performing a vertical incision over same scar is prefered for cosmotic reasons.
Great video Hannah. 👍🏽😄
Anyone with a stoma can get pregnant (as long as there are no fertility issues). However usually other circumstances medically can prevent you from being able to get pregnant or it is not advisable. The biggest reasons are medications (many medications can not be used during pregnancy) and other health conditions. For me personally I have an ileostomy and central line and two feeding tubes, I also have a rare genetic disease with a double type combination one of those types being vascular. My disease if you have it you have a 50% chance of passing it on to your child. Because of my condition, how severe my issues are, and the comorbid issues I have as well as some other unrelated conditions having a child biologically is completely out of the question for me. It would kill me or the potential child or both. And at the minimum it would cause severe disease progression.
So while the answer is technically yes there are so many considerations to think about.
Ehlers Danlos?
MaiaEdge31 Yes! I have vEDS and hEDS (strong officially diagnosed EDS on both sides different type each side).
Such a good video!
First
I think it’s due to scar tissue around the organs/pelvic area that effect your chances of pregnancy. It also effects men’s x
(I’m a nurse, not just a random idea in my head 😂)
+
I had two kids by 24, I loved being a young mum, and now I LOVE having an empty nest and being independent and concentrating on my career at 50.. all routes have advantages and disadvantages.
I truly love how upbeat & optimistic you are. Thanks for your informative videos.
My wife had a perm stoma 15 years ago, we were told,it was unlikely she would get pregnant, however we had twins, delivered with c section, they are now 13 and we are all fine . Good luck
I also had doctors orders to get move on for health reasons - endometriosis! Best decision we ever made - I got pregnant at 25 and was definitely judged by people! You do you!
In my experience I’ve seen more stigma around older mums. For example I’m 22 and would like kids around 25-27 and that’s always been ‘normal’ to me. Everyone is different though and it shouldn’t matter what age you are as long as you are healthy and can support a child😊
I love how she says "mummy" instead of mommy. It's sounds so cute, loving, and nurturing.
It's obviously easier said than done, but life is so much better when you stop giving a shit about other people's opinions about you and what you do. You do whatever you want to do and whatever is the best option and don't listen to anyone who tells you otherwise, it's not anyone's place to judge anyone else. Whatever you choose to do, I wish you luck ❤
Ah mini Hannah's eventually how exciting.
I was 24 when I was diagnosed with endometriosis and made the decision to start having kids because I knew that there was a possibility of fertility issues in the future. I had planned to wait a few more years but I'm 29 now with a four year old and I'm glad I did. Not sure if I want more, my partner and I are thinking about it. Younger moms exist and we are just fine!! Being a parent is hard as hell no matter how old you are.
Having kids young because you want to is still totally valid and feminist af!
I really appreciate these videos about life with a stoma. I feel like there isn't a whole lot of easily accessible information on this kind of stuff so it's really awesome that you are sharing this with the people and sharing something so intimate and personal!
I was diagnosed with severe UC at 18, a few months later had a colectomy and then a year later had a j-pouch created. My surgeries were all laparoscopic which I was told would decrease the risk of scar tissue forming. At the time I didn’t really consider the fertility aspect as I knew I wouldn’t be having kids for a while and I was keen to get rid of my stoma. Pre surgery I was also on medications that I was told *may* impact my fertility. Now at 25 I’m pretty concerned about my ability to have kids in the future, however my colorectal surgeon has reassured me that it is still possible. He also strongly recommended a c-section to preserve sphincter function as j-pouchers that have vaginal births apparently have a higher risk of incontinence. Thanks so much for sharing your journey, I’ll be following along :)
Just get kids when you want to, do not think about what others think. ☺️💪🏻🍀
My mum wanted children under 30 years old, I was her last child when she was 29 years old. 😸
She is still so happy that she did.
Wish you much luck and succes! ❤
I was told that my fertility was possibly decreased by 50% because of the fact that they muck about in the pelvic area - moving the fillopean tubes and stuff - that can create scarring inside that makes it harder to get pregnant...
In Denmark we are told that we are eligible to get help to get pregnant if we wanted to....
So even if I wanted kids after the j-pouch I could have done that...
I was also told that c-section was garanteed...
The biggest issue for us were to find the contraception that would work for us...
I couldn’t use the pill because of the faster pace inside- I tried a p-ring - that didn’t work for us...
We ended up choosing that my husband got a vasectomy, because i had kids from before my illness...
About kegel - I kept doing them between surgeries - because it was important to have a strong rectum to keep in the softer output....
I was 20 when I had my son ( not planned) - so I get the aspect of not wanting to be judged - but you also need to remember that the older you get the harder it can be to get pregnant - when we hit 30 we are actually almost more than mid way through our fertile years...
Our bodies are made to have kids younger - so I personally don’t get the stigma coming with it...
Personally I only find it ‘too young’ if someone is under 20 or are very immature - but other than that I don’t have a problem....
I have 3 nieces that have had their first kid in their early 20s... and sure - it’s harder, but they make it work and they are thriving ;)
Another bonus - with younger parents often come younger grandparents - who can do more with the kids ;)
Hannah: “I’m under 30 I’m young and reckless”
Also hannah: “hogwash”
I think you have all on your side to have a child! You want it, your partner wants it and your health needs you to do it sooner rather than later. I went to uni with a girl that has Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, and having a pregnancy in her (very) young years was what was recommended to her. She went on and have a child with her equally young partner, studied an MA at Oxford (with her husband and her baby living with her, and getting awards!), then it was his turn and he studied an MA at Cambridge. When you're that young, you have the energy for that and even more! I had my first child at 37, my second at 39. I wouldn't recommend to anyone to be an "old parent". On the one hand, because your body has the ability to recover much more easily from the massive change and physical stress that a pregnancy and a birth are. On the other, because you are much able to "survive" to the sleepless nights and the crazy energy that toddlers have. There is also this thing I already commented on: you now have lots of ideas and things going on and you're doing great, and although you will have to adapt yourself to your new situation, you're still young enough to be able to do it (almost) all. When you reach your late thirties/early forties, you are at a great moment if you are a creator. You are still young but you have lived enough to create more powerful content. Having discussed this with artists and creators from different disciplines, it's a wonderful age. If your children are more than ten when you're in your forties, that's great! I now find myself that I am forty with children that are still very dependent. It's ok, though!
Regarding feminism... I am a radical feminist and I have been breastfeeding for almost 4 years now (first one child and now the other, who is 17 months now. I plan to continue until he's two). Does this make me less of a feminist? I don't think so. I have taken my children to rehearsals and gigs with me, have breastfed them on the stage... I have been trying to make my rights, and that of my children, visible. This would be a long debate, but feminism should not demonise maternity. (Excuse me for my English, it's my third language).
Hannah ! You don't need to care about what the other think ! You do you !!!
Girl, I had my third child and was done at 28! I had my first at 24. Do what you want/ feel is right for you and screw everybody’s opinion ❤️
I just have to say you seem very positive person. It takes a lot of courage to talk about these things potentially for hundreds of thousands of people. I watched (or tried to) the video you made after the first surgeon and I'm really amazed how you can just tell about these things like that. I'm not very sensitive guy, I've seen all kind of crap on the internet, some really disgusting stuff and all but I just couldn't listen the story to the end. After the part of "crapping just blood" I had to stop.. Okay it's not the end of the world to have a stoma or go through all that, but I don't know could I just 'get over it' as fast as you. Or at all. You are incredibly strong person.
My 'two cents' into the getting kids matter: If you want kids and you are in a good relationship and can afford it: Go for it. No matter the age. If you don't want kids: You don't have to. Age doesn't matter on this case either. Society doesn't care about individuals or their wishes, so you will have much more pleasant life if you do what you want, not what other people want you to do. I know many people who've got kids in their early (or late) twenties. And I also know people who've decided they don't want kids, ever. I think nobody else have a right to say yes or no about the matter but the person's whose life it affects.
My husband and I decided to start trying to get pregnant right away after we got married. I was 20 and he was 21. We got a lot of crap about it but we made the decisions that were/are right for us. We are 23 and 24 with a 1 and a half year old. We are a very happy family of 3. It worked out because it was what we wanted and could handle