Holly Rowling that’s why I started watching this channel also, my boyfriend has uc so I wanted to learn more about how it affects him so I can help him❤️from a year ago when mona arrived I feel like if the time comes that he needs to get a stoma i feel like I know partially how to help him in those ways also now ❤️
Hi Hannah, thank you for talking about this. I too have a stoma - I hate even writing that word. I prefer to call it the "creature". Yes , not dealing with things too well. In order to get a good 8 hours sleep I've found the answer. Do not eat past 7 pm at the latest. I'm usually done by 6. Then before bed take 2 peppermint oil capsules, for the air in the bag situation. It has changed everything for me. No more worrying about nighttime explosions, and changing bedclothes at 4 am. I get at least 8 hours and feel so much better in the morning. It is worth feeling a little bit hungry, and then you can get up and eat all around you. Good luck and please try this. It has saved my sanity on the sleep issue.
I am dealing with the mental stuff as well if u ever want to talk u can hit me up on facebook. I just started therapy. Hard to grasp all the changes. Im learning it helps to talk about it rather than not be it up & think no one understands.
It was pretty heart-wrenching to see you tearing up over the trauma you've endured, but I'm happy you kept it in the video! You've always managed to stay strong and stay positive in the face of adversity in your videos, which only emphasized in my mind how much you must have gone through to react how did here. Stay strong and never forget there's no shame in getting all the help you need
Heart-wrenching is a good word for it. I think Hanna is being quite brave revealing all this to help others. She seems just too good of a person to be saddled with pain and suffering like this. I hope she is well rewarded in life from here on.
I never really thought about how you need your core muscles to orgasm. Really interesting! Thank you for opening up and giving me some insight into an experience that's different than mine 💜
I had my emergency surgery to have an ileostomy the exact same day as you. Literally sat here with a number one balloon and a birthday cake so dont worry i'm super extra too !
Hi Hannah, I've had my stoma for nearly 2 years, last summer I chose to have my rectum removed because mine was doing the exact same as yours. It was bleeding, I was getting a feeling of urgency and I was in pain. I tried suppositories and various enemas to no avail, and my life was feeling like the days I had UC with the number of toilet trips I needed just for blood! I had lots of thoughts going round my head, and also like you the idea of 'forever' terrified me. I realised it was exactly the same as how I felt about my UC diagnosis, for me it was medication (and lots of it, mine never really went into remission) forever and that saddened me as I'm only 22, and I was diagnosed at 17. Once my rectum was removed I came to terms with the fact that nothing had really changed, I still had my stoma I just had less pain and one less toilet 'method' to deal with. I felt like I was going to the loo three different ways if that makes any sort of sense ahaha. (also in December I ended up with scar tissue and adhesions just like you did, so I ended up with an emergency third operation to remove them and revise my stoma, a third operation I was trying to avoid by having my rectum out instead of a two stage reversal op! Life just likes to throw things at us!) I'm glad you've settled into stoma life so well and I love hearing your updates!
@@whychoooseausername4763 It was definitely an option for me, however personally it was one I chose not to go for. For me, despite research and asking people questions who have J pouches, the risks outweigh the benefits. My body has never been one to behave regarding my UC and my rectum, so going for the J pouch meant the possibility of losing my quality of life again due to the risk of constant toilet trips again! I chose to have my stoma (it wasn't an emergency op the first time round) because my quality of life was SO BAD I had simply just had enough. My stoma saved my quality of life and I wasnt willing to risk that with a J pouch, so I wanted my rectum removed completely to remove the problem altogether! Hope this clears things up x
I have an almost identical story. Plain old rectum removal was the only clear choice for me. I couldn't deal with the uncertainty of.a j-pouch and for me that outweighed potentially not having my stoma anymore. Of course I have moments where I wonder what that would have been like, but they are very fleeting and I have no regrets really. Time also is a healer, I've had my ileo for 12 years now and apart from my proctectomy part way through that it has become so much part of my body I barely even think about it. I was offered j-pouch right from the beginning but they were very good at listening to me and what I wanted and I'm really grateful for that.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen you get emotional like this in a video. From the surface, it looks like you are doing amazing but it’s good to see that you recognise that you need the therapy to tackle this. You go girl, happy anniversary, hope you finally get your 2018 you wanted (you’re a year behind as you say!) you got this! ☺️💕 x
OMG the phrase internalised ableism is what I needed right now. Feeling really guilty about taking time off work due to chronic illness and just - thanks for talking about this shit Hannah!!
I don’t have a stoma but to me, the idea of “forever” suffering from UC and it’s unpredicted flare ups and all the blood and pain for the rest of my life is more terrifying than having a stoma “forever”. I have pancolitis which is the severest form of the disease. I usually get a flare every year but this year the meds suddenly stopped working and I had the worst flare up of my life and I literally tried everything to stay on remission but still nothing seems to work. I was so scared of the idea of surgery and after seeing your videos it made me realize that life with a stoma isn’t so bad and it might be even better. ❤️thank you for being an inspiration❤️
A Stoma can be reversible, so if you don't have bowels removed and want to go back, it's possible. I can completely say with confidence that a Stoma has brought me into remission from years of Crohn's. Good luck and hope you find the right medication.
Re: the sleep: for most of history, people have slept in two periods during the night. People went to bed quite early though; around 9 I think and then naturally woke up around 3 or 4 am, talked for an hour or so and went to sleep again. So I don't think waking up once would be a big problem, even if you go to sleep at 22h or 23h, unless you lie awake for longer of course. I'd say that feeling tired it still normal, even a year after surgery, since your body went through so much. Thanks for sharing Hannah!
Great inspiration for people with stomas. My mom had this done (ileostomy) in the US 51 years ago. It was experimental then and she actually lived with it for 50 years. She passed away Mar 2018 (nothing UC related). Keep on educating.
Congratulations for making it a year. May will be 33 years for me. Next up is Thyroid cancer surgery (currently scheduled for January 25 but it may be postponed because I passed out during the pre op check).
In terms of getting up in the night - it sounds like you aren't up for long so I don't think it'll be making you more tired. But the inflammation in the rectum will be making you tired. I had a sub-total colectomy and they left the stump in, and I would say that's the worst I felt. I was tired all the time and I was very in pain passing the mucus. After I had the stump removed, I suddenly felt soooo much better! I have a permanent ostomy now. I know the permanent factor can be weird at a young age, but there's so many things that will happen throughout our lives that we don't have control over (like our scars), I think I just have to accept it. I definitely know what you mean re therapy - sometimes I cry if I think in detail about what's happened to me, but also I would never change it all as it's made me who I am.
Working in the health care system - albeit in a different country in mainland europe - it's refreshing, helpful and a wonderful learing experience seeing you deal with your journey so openly. I hope you telling your story will improve the way I accompany my patients on theirs. I'm convinced there's tons of people who learn a lot from you and are inspired by your vlogs, you overcoming life changes and obstacles you didn't choose. Stay awesome, keep doing what you are doing! You are definitely making this world a better place!
Rather than getting up in the middle of the night, I would just open the bag slightly to let out the build up of air. As long as the bag isn’t too full of output; it meant that I was only awake for a minute at a time, would let the air out and then close the bag up and then get back to sleep! I really feel you when you said you feel like you need to cry; I used to get so frustrated at the unfairness of it all! But your body will adjust 😊 great video! Thank you so much for you honesty and for spreading awareness of crohns and colitis! x
@@xXMadameButterflyXx How? Mine needs to be emptied 4-6 times a day. If I had one that wasn't emptied I would have something the size of a bag for life on my stomach.
Don't worry Hannah, I think very few people get uninterrupted eight hours of sleep. Sometimes I wake up every single hour and at least have to go to the toilet ones every night. If you only have to get up ones at night you are very lucky in this regard. Feeling tired might be related to your trauma. Please don't put therapy off, the longer you wait the harder it gets. I think you have grown so much over the past year. Very inspiring! Thank you
if it helps you: before the introduction of artificial light we didnt sleep just once but woke up inbetween. For more info adam ruins everything had smth about it. Maybe that will calm your anxiety (? words are hard sometimes) surrounding this topic
You are such a warm and sincere person. I can't imagine the pain you have been through, but you would never know it from how positive and sunny you are in all your videos. I met you in the theatre recently with Lucy and Leena and sort of word vomited at you all instead of saying what I wanted to say. I suppose it was a bit overwhelming to meet the entire Banging Book Club in one go and I didn't want to interrupt your evening - but I just wanted to say thank you, Hannah, for being such a strong and wonderful human. You are truly fantastic.
As a nurse. I have so much respect and admiration for people with colostomy and ileostomy. So much goes behind the scenes that people don’t even have a clue. I wish you the best I hope you continue to do better and that you continue to be an inspiration and help to many.
Frequent watcher, rare commenter here. Been a subscriber for a few years, and before your channel I had no idea what ulcerative colitis even was, let alone that stomas existed and were a thing that people had to live with. I personally have never even had any surgery. Through following your journey, I've learned a lot more about the world and the human body than I otherwise would've had the opportunity to, so thank you for sharing. I'd like to think I'm now a more aware and empathetic human in the world, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. Hope 2019 brings you great happiness, health, and success!
I really admire your courage to talk publicly about your health and medical challenges. You absolutely have every right to your privacy about such things. I am not upset or offended, I just feel the need to respect your right to privacy.
3 days ago today was the 1 year anniversary of when I had surgery to get a feeding tube, & it’s crazy to think about how VASTLY different my life is now compared to a year ago. Like, I was in the mind set of “if I died right now I wouldn’t even care”, but now I’m basically a normal functioning human again & I have a life again.
I don't have UC. Nor do I have a stoma. I did have surgery 10 years ago (OMG it's been that long) that changed my life forever. I'll never run again and many activities are difficult. Therapy helps a lot. Just with UC you'll have bad days and great moments. Thank you for sharing with us. Inspired me to make a video about my surgery and what it has changed about my life.
I just want to give you a hug and a cup of tea and say thank you for being so open and chatty about things people don't normally chat about. Having lots of tummy issues lately and I really appreciate you and your videos.
made me tear up when you did, im so pleased to see how much stronger you are now and so proud of your optimism you are truly an amazing woman and i am grateful to have someone like you as an idol, you really deserve the world hannah youre amazing
Happy Birthday to Mona! You had me crying again when talking about your mental health, so you're welcome, but also know you're stronger for coming through it all (and it's also been great for your channel engagement and views, so ...)!
You are SO strong. As a physically disabled person, I find that you are so much more candid than most. I don't have limits as far as answering questions and clearly you do not either. I admire you :D Take care!
This November is the 10 year anniversary of my chronic pain. My ten year Painiversary! I am going to throw a massive party and celebrate everything I've both had to do (corrective back surgeries, getting my spinal cord stimulator implant, PT, etc) and been able to do (traveling to Japan and South Korea!) in the past ten years. It is so nice to kind of take back those years and say "hey, some parts may have been really tough and almost broken me...but the other parts have kept me going and continue to give me a reason to keep going now!" So, I think a party for your 1 year surgery anniversary is awesome. You have to take the good moments when you can.
The part where you said you wanted to put a positive spin on your stoma-versary made me cry. This is the two-year anniversary of me having to leave my former job in order to heal from my chronic back pain, and I get so sad this time of year because of it. But now I know I can look at it as the day I decided to put my health first
I got my stoma just under two years ago, and watching your recovery from surgery videos and seeing you being so confident and open about life as a young woman with a stoma has helped me accept life with a stoma and be more open with my friends and family about my stoma. I completely agree with your fear over the thought of a stoma being forever, despite day-to-day I don’t mind it at all!
Really appreciate you keeping you tearing up in the video. I think it really helps to drive home the seriousness of mental health and how it can have just as devastating impact on ones life as physical health. Counselling/Therapy very important. No matter how supportive a person is, an impartial person to cry and vent to is so so so important and healthy.
So, when I started having symptoms, I immediately thought of you. It was scary to find out that I was right when I was diagnosed, but it was reassuring to have seen all these videos and know as much as I did. It's been a little bit more than a year since my body started attacking itself (thereby creating the colitis), but I didn't actually get it confirmed before it had been close to 9 months. It may be the mildest form of it, but having a chronic illness is tiring and scary. Thank you for sharing of yourself all this time! I always appreciate different points of view from people, so I enjoyed your series. However, I would never have imagined that it would help me personally too. Thank you again.
Damn it Hannah. This made me tear up a little. I've always admired your strength and willingness to talk about stuff as important as this. You are doing amazing, sweety.
My father died of cancer 9 years ago when I was 13 ans during the 3 years that he endured cancer he had two stomas, one just like yours and one for pee. you really helped me understand what he has experienced with his stoma through your video. Thank you so much. You are so brave and glowing, this is very moving to watch. Wishing you all the best.
Concerning your problem with having to wake up during the night to empty the bag, i know my father had a tube linked to a very big bag so that he didn't have to do this, this way in the morning he unplugged the big bag and emptied it, and was left with the normal stoma. Hope that helps event though i get it must be quite hard to be attached to a big bag all night long.
I hope you realise how much you contribute to so many people, you spread knowledge and empathy on so many levels. Please don’t stop we still have so much to learn together. Thanks for being so brave, you are one tough young woman.
One thing that helps me is that there’s almost certainly no such thing as laziness. Nobody chooses to be unproductive - it’s a symptom of something. For you, it’s a symptom of exhaustion and feeling like you should be achieving more, which stems from ableism. I know it’s so fucking hard to internalise that reality because of how strong the negativity is, I’m still working on it too. Love you heaps, okay? x
Hi Hannah, I love that you "tell it as it is" how much simpler life would be if people stopped skirting around issues, and told people what they really want to know, with no inhibitions. I think in the short time that you have had a stoma you have raised awareness so much on a subject which was always steeped in fear and mystery.
Hi Hannah 👋 I'm an ICU nurse and traumatic feelings and emotions after a long or stressful hospital stay are way more common than you'd think. We use diaries to help long term patients fill in gaps in their memory or tell them what happened when we have them sedated on a ventilator. Reading your Mum's Journal could be a great help to you. I hope you find peace with your health journey. Your body can do so much for you now. You should be so proud xo
You hear this everyday I am sure, but I wanted to say how inspirational and fucking awesome you are. Well done for making it a year Hannah- you are so strong to be so positive about this. This year you have brought awareness and made thousands of people less alone; you've been confident, you ran 5k! You're SUCH A QUEEN. Thank you for exsisting, being so honest, and so brilliant. I love you, I'm so proud to be a subscriber!
Also if you can afford it I want you to go and find a therapist right now because the longer you put it off the harder it will be to sign yourself up and the more you tell people your'e going to do it, you can often get the rush of "yes I'm going to do this thing" and then never do it... so please do it!
One of the best things I did after surgery was therapy. Thankfully it was advised to me because I was going back to university, and my student fees covered on site counselling. It helped me finally come to terms with my depression that I experienced long before being ill but had been trigger by the sudden trauma of hospitalization (3 Hospitalizations in 9 months, ulcerative colitis symptoms in december, 1st hospitalization and diagnosis of UC/Crohns in January, complications in February and by September I had stoma surgery)
Thank you for talking about everything as much as you do. Talking to someone about time in hospital and PTSD around health things has helped me so much. I had no idea. Also, you're just bloody awesome hun.
I used to have a stoma for almost a year during my chemo and I remember I hated this. I KNEW it has saved me but I could not get through the feeling of this being a stranger in my own body. Chemo, somehow, I could get away with it, but the stoma... It was a real struggle for my social life and intimacy. I wish that such a channel existed when I had this 7 years ago - I felt very lonely about it at that time. I thought that only ill, old people had this and I was in my early 30s. Maybe my life back then would have been easier thanks to someone like you, Hannah - thank you so much for talking so freely about this taboo subject. ❤️
Definitely not for oldies, I think with so many young people who have Stomas, has helped to publicise taboo subjects and bring awareness like this. Great stuff!
Oh Hannah, when you teared up it made my whole chest tighten. I have absolutely loved watching this videos over the past year, letting you educate me on a subject I knew nothing about before. I know you'll be getting a lot of comments like this, but I'd honestly just like to say that you're so incredibly brave. You never stop trying and that is something worth every bit of intense admiration I have for you 💜
I used to watch your videos but never intensively but now, I try to watch every video as soon as its uploaded because you inspire so many of us that have troubled lives to do better. That thing you said about having a positive outlook, its something most of us could never do and I just want to thank you so much for sharing with us your trials and tribulations. And you have our thoughts and respect with you and of course your partner and family because all of you have endured so much this past year. Please continue to share your thoughts because for those of us who do not know where to turn, anyone can watch your videos and feel inspired to persevere and do better. Thank you Hannah Witton.
I only found your channel because of your takeover on zoella but I wish I had followed you and not her years ago. I saw only a few of your videos but you seem like such a smart, strong, and beautiful woman, I wish I could be like you! You are incredible in the truest meaning of that word. Life must get difficult for you and I hope you're dealing ok with it but damn I just really want to express MY FULL RESPECT!!! Sending you so much love! You are amazing!
The fear of it becoming permanent for me was terrifying as well. I always thought of my stoma as a temporary thing, I could never bring myself to think it would be there forever. I have a jpouch now and it was the best decision I ever made. Sleeping through the night was impossible with my stoma but I’ve been able to get back into a proper sleep pattern again with the jpouch. Thank you for being so open and honest about your journey, I wish this was around when I was going through everything. It would have made things much easier and made me realize that I wasn’t alone in what I was going through. 💕🇨🇦
I just want to give you a giant hug! Your outlook, attitude, openness and positivity are amazing. I don't think I could talk so openly about my disability and health like you and I think of myself as an open person. Enjoy your videos keep it up!
Stomaversary! Wow this video got me emotional about how far you’ve come in the last year... You’re killing it more and more everyday! You’re so strong Hannah, such an inspiration 💛
You should look into sleep cycles. Maybe you are timing the alarm to change your stoma in the middle of a sleep cycle which means the next time you wake up you'll feel more tired. It's the science behind 20min naps. 90min are also good but anything in between might leave you feeling drowsy!
Wow, it’s so good to see all you have gone through this year and hear how positive you are. Even if your viewers don’t all relate to the actual aroma problems, we all have our hidden problems and internal struggles with body and mental health. It needs to be address as much as breaking stigmas concerning sex! Double up on the relevance of your work Hannah, nice!
As you said it's amazing to see how the human body can adapt, but obviously it leaves marks on your mental health. I really love the fact that you are open about it. I actually did learn a lot this year about my own health (abdominal pains as well) thanks to your content, so keep it up!
i absolutely LOVE how you’re able to talk about this and share this side of your life. honestly, thank you. i had pain for years and finally got diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease last year and its so isolating feeling like your illness is too ‘gross’ to really talk about with friends or teachers so i dont get to talk about how i feel when i’m in a flare up. it feels really good to hear you talk so openly about it, so thank you. glad to hear you’re doing well!
I find it amazingly validating when people that aren't from traditional mental health circles talk about their issues. It helps me feel normal. For me, getting therapy was a bit like you having your colon out. It gave me back control of my health and has helped me build a new and better life that doesn't have to revolve around my illness. I wish you all the best with your mental and physical recovery :)
I've watched you for so long and I'm so sorry for the pain you and others are in that are affected by this. I love how honest you are because you're truly one of the most influential people on TH-cam for me. Thank you for everything!
I have to agree with the person who thought your leaving the tearing up in was a good idea. Very touching, very engaging. And with all you've gone through, and the way you've handled it... well, I hope you don't mind my saying so, but you're one HELL of a lady! Congratulations, and I wish you all the best.
I've seen other people commenting about it too, but the concept of two-sleeps was revolutionary to my perception of sleep. When I had really bad anxiety about sleep several years ago, learning that it's not a big deal to wake up in the middle of the night really and truly changed my life. Plus it makes me feel super connected to the past, being awake at 3am, imagining what people hundreds of years ago would have been doing at the same time.
Your courage in discussing these problems - especially the mental hurdles - is an inspiration to everyone. May this year be a good one for you and those close to you.
I have Crohn’s and had a temporary stoma for 6 months in 2017. I know I may need one again in the future which gets me panicky but watching your videos helps me to remember that it’s not all that bad! Thank you for sharing and well-done on thriving through your first year! :) x
Wow! I appreciate this so much! Was hospitalized in 2018 and went through several surgeries leaving me with a colostomy bag that can be reversed. But to tell your stories and have someone somewhat similar understand what you have gone through. Love your videos! Keep happy and always smile!
Definitely need a mattress protector. I find if I don't eat anything 2 hours before going to bed and I empty my bag right before I go to sleep, I can get about 6 hours. Also the position I sleep in helps so when the bag is empty I can pretty much sleep in any position. I can sleep on either side as it starts fill but once it passes half way full I find sleeping on my back more secure. I'm so used to it that I check my bag in my sleep, kind of just feel for it. I had my rectum removed too so my stoma is permanent but I don't mind that!
I recently heard form a friend that for a lot of human history it was actually really normal to sleep in two shifts, and that having two sleeps the same length as one big sleep is just as good. I don't know the details but I thought that might reassure you. :) (Also, you seem like the least lazy person ever, no need to judge yourself for needing a little extra sleep.)
Charlotte I've heard this too! Something about two 4 hour blocks, and the time in between was often when couples would chat or be intimate. I think I read that this only stopped being normal in Victorian times but like you I'm foggy on the details. It definitely reassures me when I have lots of broken nights!
i’ve said this before but it’s really great that you’re using this as a way to educate and help others. i’m really proud of you, you’re doing a lot of good in the world xx
Very different situation but I’m 5 months post c section surgery. A lot of people view c sections as no big deal because they’ve become so common. I invite those people to have major open abdomen surgery, while conscious and have a human pulled out of them, followed by exactly the same recovery period as other major surgeries except you have to to look after a newborn! And while I am exceptionally and eternally grateful to the surgeon and their team for getting my boy here safely to me, I am not at peace with my own body. I feel it failed me at doing what it was -essentially- created to do. So because of this WELL DONE!! On getting your confidence back and cracking on, I’m hoping that will be me one day! Happy Birthday Moana!!
I am so proud of you Hannah! I know that I will never understand what you went through, but hopefully everyone here can show you that you won't regret it because of how far you have come. I love you ♥️
Hannah, stay strong and stay resolute. You are a lovely, exceptional person, who is both inspirational and so very real. Your online presence and the thoughtful sharing way that you bring all sorts of humanized information, thoughts, and feelings to an online community, are gifts to all. The humor, joy and warmth that you share are gifts to all your viewers. So, again, stay strong and stay wonderful. And thank you.
I've almost had my ileostomy for a year too! I'm about to head back into hospital for my colectomy. Your videos are so helpful, and I feel less alone when I watch them.
I can so relate to that morning struggle and internalized ableism. I have a health condition that causes me to need time in bed in the morning to raise my blood pressure enough to stand, and I fought it and fought it to be ‘productive’ and be a ‘morning person’. Now I go to bed earlier and relax in the morning in bed for an hour and read, think about what I need to do that day, or just rest without guilt, and my days go much better, even though I’ve ‘lost time’. And I’ve been finishing a lot of books I’ve always wanted to read! Good luck to you, I hope you can find the balance you’re looking for.
lol...I do the same thing with the alarm setting. I set the first alarm for four hours after I lay down. I have had two catastrophes in bed, with my appliance anyway, and I am very blessed to have a wife that tells me to go deal with my bag and she fixes the bed situation.
Thank you for sharing your story! I’m a nursing student (I graduate in June) and It’s both very interesting and very educational for me to hear your story from the perspective of a patient. I now have a better idea of what a patients experience can be like, and I hope to be able to use that in helping and supporting patients in similar situations in the future!
I remember watching your first video about the time you spent in hospital, last year, right as i was sitting in my hospital bed. I thought to myself, wow, thats a weird coincidence. Anyway, parts of what you've been sharing heal me. You're incredibly strong for sharing. Stay healthy!
Holy crap I used to watch your videos years ago and you were a super strong individual then. Now you are the biggest badass ever! Thank you so much for sharing your life with us in such intimate ways and we will always support you!
The part about your mom's journal was powerful. I'm glad you're taking care of yourself and are aware of what you need. Additionally, as someone who also really likes sleep, I know this sounds like a crazy thought, but you should look into alternative sleep schedules. There are schedules where you might sleep 4 hours, get up and go about your day for 5-10 hours, then sleep again for 4 hours. Or other schedules with more frequent but shorter sleeping amounts. As you say, people are really rather adaptable and it may suit you more than trying to go 9 hours straight with a small break in the middle.
Sorry if this is a really stupid question but is there a reason they can't make bigger bags for use at night? That way they can hold more and so can go longer without needing to be emptied. Kind of like night time night time period pads?
MrAbletospeak My issue was cancer too, but after many years of ulcerative colitis. I am very positive about my stoma (Kermit) and grateful because without him I would be dead. You can’t change the fact of the stoma, but you can change your attitude! Having a positive outlook about it, and giving your stoma a name helps you make friends with it, and it really, really helps you get your life back and feel better all round. I do hope your cancer treatment has been successful! In May of this year I was discharged from the oncology dept which is great.
My friend has transverse myelitis and essentially woke up paralyzed 3 years ago. It took her until a few months ago to be able to read her medical file without having a panic attack. Like you, she has PTSD from that time in hospital, but found that going through her medical file really seemed to help her realize what exactly happened during that time. Both in her body as well as in hospital because she doesn’t remember it all. Just a thought. 💕
Wow to see your struggle & watch your inner strength come out is truly inspiring... Stay strong beautiful young lady, you've caught my attention & will forever be in my heart & prayers...
I'm happy to know that I'm not the only one who is fascinated by the output from my stoma. You become more intimately acquainted with your poop than you ever imagined was possible. You find out what really happens to all the junk you eat and it isn't as much as you thought. Hannah, you are incredibly lucky to have had only one leak at home. I have had many due to a problem stoma that's in a crease. I have had a serious leak while eating in a restaurant which thankfully wasn't as bad as it could have been, only going onto my shirt and pants but not the floor. Mine is a temporary ileostomy due to cancer surgery and I have a sneaking suspicion that I'll miss it once it's gone. Oh, you are so right, you don't miss pooing one bit.
Congrats on your year anniversary! I'm coming up on my anniversary of entering hospital for depression/anxiety. I'm doing a lot better than I was last year, but I'm finding myself struggling as my year anniversary approaches. I appreciate your honesty about dealing with your health struggles and dealing with the trauma of being sick. Lots of love to you!
Hey Hannah I have no clue if you'll see this but I just wanted to comment to say that nearly three years ago I went through major surgery i wasnt expecting. I think a lot of people don't appreciate that the anniversary of surgeries can be an emotional time. Every year I have a few days of being upset but then I get up and remember im okay. So, I hope you're doing okay as I know this is possibly a difficult time for you. Also I went into therapy around six months after my surgery and it drastically helped my recovery so I would highly recommend as you've maybe not dealt with everything and talking to someone that wasnt around the event made such a difference to me. x
My boyfriend had his stoma op 3 days after you so I introduced him to your chanel and it really helped him feel less alone ❤
Holly Rowling that’s why I started watching this channel also, my boyfriend has uc so I wanted to learn more about how it affects him so I can help him❤️from a year ago when mona arrived I feel like if the time comes that he needs to get a stoma i feel like I know partially how to help him in those ways also now ❤️
I had mine done the same time as u . It was a blessing was home in 3 days . Such was the release from the pain
Hi Hannah, thank you for talking about this. I too have a stoma - I hate even writing that word. I prefer to call it the "creature". Yes , not dealing with things too well.
In order to get a good 8 hours sleep I've found the answer.
Do not eat past 7 pm at the latest. I'm usually done by 6. Then before bed take 2 peppermint oil capsules, for the air in the bag situation. It has changed everything for me.
No more worrying about nighttime explosions, and changing bedclothes at 4 am.
I get at least 8 hours and feel so much better in the morning.
It is worth feeling a little bit hungry, and then you can get up and eat all around you. Good luck and please try this. It has saved my sanity on the sleep issue.
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I am dealing with the mental stuff as well if u ever want to talk u can hit me up on facebook. I just started therapy. Hard to grasp all the changes. Im learning it helps to talk about it rather than not be it up & think no one understands.
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It was pretty heart-wrenching to see you tearing up over the trauma you've endured, but I'm happy you kept it in the video! You've always managed to stay strong and stay positive in the face of adversity in your videos, which only emphasized in my mind how much you must have gone through to react how did here. Stay strong and never forget there's no shame in getting all the help you need
Heart-wrenching is a good word for it. I think Hanna is being quite brave revealing all this to help others. She seems just too good of a person to be saddled with pain and suffering like this. I hope she is well rewarded in life from here on.
I never really thought about how you need your core muscles to orgasm. Really interesting! Thank you for opening up and giving me some insight into an experience that's different than mine 💜
congratulations on one year!!! enjoyed this Q+A
Hi Tessa
Still listening to Crush and Sorry I'm Not Sorry regularly.
РУССКИЕ ВПЕРЕД
РУССКИЕ ВПЕРЕД РУССКИЕ ВПЕРЕД РУССКИЕ ВПЕРЕД
Congrats! You have a nice figure too!☺️
РУССКИЕ ВПЕРЕД
РУССКИЕ ВПЕРЕД РУССКИЕ ВПЕРЕД РУССКИЕ ВПЕРЕД
РУССКИЕ ВПЕРЕД!
You're not lazy, you're tired. Treat yourself with compassion
I had my emergency surgery to have an ileostomy the exact same day as you. Literally sat here with a number one balloon and a birthday cake so dont worry i'm super extra too !
If I were ever in a situation like that, I would totally do something like that too. Plus a cake with the stoma's name sounds like a must.
Hi Hannah, I've had my stoma for nearly 2 years, last summer I chose to have my rectum removed because mine was doing the exact same as yours. It was bleeding, I was getting a feeling of urgency and I was in pain. I tried suppositories and various enemas to no avail, and my life was feeling like the days I had UC with the number of toilet trips I needed just for blood!
I had lots of thoughts going round my head, and also like you the idea of 'forever' terrified me. I realised it was exactly the same as how I felt about my UC diagnosis, for me it was medication (and lots of it, mine never really went into remission) forever and that saddened me as I'm only 22, and I was diagnosed at 17.
Once my rectum was removed I came to terms with the fact that nothing had really changed, I still had my stoma I just had less pain and one less toilet 'method' to deal with. I felt like I was going to the loo three different ways if that makes any sort of sense ahaha.
(also in December I ended up with scar tissue and adhesions just like you did, so I ended up with an emergency third operation to remove them and revise my stoma, a third operation I was trying to avoid by having my rectum out instead of a two stage reversal op! Life just likes to throw things at us!)
I'm glad you've settled into stoma life so well and I love hearing your updates!
Congratulations on being so strong and making it through that
Didn't they offer you the option of a J pouch ? Or do you also have UC in your ileum ?
@@whychoooseausername4763 It was definitely an option for me, however personally it was one I chose not to go for. For me, despite research and asking people questions who have J pouches, the risks outweigh the benefits. My body has never been one to behave regarding my UC and my rectum, so going for the J pouch meant the possibility of losing my quality of life again due to the risk of constant toilet trips again! I chose to have my stoma (it wasn't an emergency op the first time round) because my quality of life was SO BAD I had simply just had enough. My stoma saved my quality of life and I wasnt willing to risk that with a J pouch, so I wanted my rectum removed completely to remove the problem altogether! Hope this clears things up x
I have an almost identical story. Plain old rectum removal was the only clear choice for me. I couldn't deal with the uncertainty of.a j-pouch and for me that outweighed potentially not having my stoma anymore. Of course I have moments where I wonder what that would have been like, but they are very fleeting and I have no regrets really. Time also is a healer, I've had my ileo for 12 years now and apart from my proctectomy part way through that it has become so much part of my body I barely even think about it. I was offered j-pouch right from the beginning but they were very good at listening to me and what I wanted and I'm really grateful for that.
I was diagnosed with hirschprungs disease when I was 2 and I’m almost 11 now xx
I don’t think I’ve ever seen you get emotional like this in a video. From the surface, it looks like you are doing amazing but it’s good to see that you recognise that you need the therapy to tackle this. You go girl, happy anniversary, hope you finally get your 2018 you wanted (you’re a year behind as you say!) you got this! ☺️💕 x
Beth Smith ++
Mona and Louise Pentland's youngest daughter share a birthday! Happy birthday to Mona The Stoma and baby Pearl!
That genuinly made me laugh out loud, thanks for cheering me up!
😂 this made me laugh not going to lie
OMG the phrase internalised ableism is what I needed right now. Feeling really guilty about taking time off work due to chronic illness and just - thanks for talking about this shit Hannah!!
I don’t have a stoma but to me, the idea of “forever” suffering from UC and it’s unpredicted flare ups and all the blood and pain for the rest of my life is more terrifying than having a stoma “forever”.
I have pancolitis which is the severest form of the disease. I usually get a flare every year but this year the meds suddenly stopped working and I had the worst flare up of my life and I literally tried everything to stay on remission but still nothing seems to work. I was so scared of the idea of surgery and after seeing your videos it made me realize that life with a stoma isn’t so bad and it might be even better. ❤️thank you for being an inspiration❤️
A Stoma can be reversible, so if you don't have bowels removed and want to go back, it's possible. I can completely say with confidence that a Stoma has brought me into remission from years of Crohn's. Good luck and hope you find the right medication.
Re: the sleep: for most of history, people have slept in two periods during the night. People went to bed quite early though; around 9 I think and then naturally woke up around 3 or 4 am, talked for an hour or so and went to sleep again. So I don't think waking up once would be a big problem, even if you go to sleep at 22h or 23h, unless you lie awake for longer of course. I'd say that feeling tired it still normal, even a year after surgery, since your body went through so much. Thanks for sharing Hannah!
Your so right!
The tv program over here called Adam Ruins Everything tackled the subject of sleep!
Everything you said is true.
So interesting, I had no idea!
Great inspiration for people with stomas. My mom had this done (ileostomy) in the US 51 years ago. It was experimental then and she actually lived with it for 50 years. She passed away Mar 2018 (nothing UC related). Keep on educating.
That moment when she said, it will be forever, I felt it. I don't have a stoma yet. But seeing all of you does make me feel relieved.
Congratulations for making it a year. May will be 33 years for me. Next up is Thyroid cancer surgery (currently scheduled for January 25 but it may be postponed because I passed out during the pre op check).
Good luck!
All the best m8.
Sending you all the light and positivity! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Charles Rosenberg good luck! Sending you love
Good luck 🤞
In terms of getting up in the night - it sounds like you aren't up for long so I don't think it'll be making you more tired. But the inflammation in the rectum will be making you tired. I had a sub-total colectomy and they left the stump in, and I would say that's the worst I felt. I was tired all the time and I was very in pain passing the mucus. After I had the stump removed, I suddenly felt soooo much better! I have a permanent ostomy now. I know the permanent factor can be weird at a young age, but there's so many things that will happen throughout our lives that we don't have control over (like our scars), I think I just have to accept it. I definitely know what you mean re therapy - sometimes I cry if I think in detail about what's happened to me, but also I would never change it all as it's made me who I am.
Working in the health care system - albeit in a different country in mainland europe - it's refreshing, helpful and a wonderful learing experience seeing you deal with your journey so openly. I hope you telling your story will improve the way I accompany my patients on theirs.
I'm convinced there's tons of people who learn a lot from you and are inspired by your vlogs, you overcoming life changes and obstacles you didn't choose. Stay awesome, keep doing what you are doing! You are definitely making this world a better place!
Rather than getting up in the middle of the night, I would just open the bag slightly to let out the build up of air. As long as the bag isn’t too full of output; it meant that I was only awake for a minute at a time, would let the air out and then close the bag up and then get back to sleep! I really feel you when you said you feel like you need to cry; I used to get so frustrated at the unfairness of it all! But your body will adjust 😊 great video! Thank you so much for you honesty and for spreading awareness of crohns and colitis! x
I do the same. Sometimes being lazy can pay off
Or. you know, just use the bags which don't need to be emptied! Easier :D
@@xXMadameButterflyXx That's not really an option.
Pincushioned Ah, yeah it is.
@@xXMadameButterflyXx How? Mine needs to be emptied 4-6 times a day. If I had one that wasn't emptied I would have something the size of a bag for life on my stomach.
Don't worry Hannah, I think very few people get uninterrupted eight hours of sleep. Sometimes I wake up every single hour and at least have to go to the toilet ones every night. If you only have to get up ones at night you are very lucky in this regard. Feeling tired might be related to your trauma. Please don't put therapy off, the longer you wait the harder it gets. I think you have grown so much over the past year. Very inspiring! Thank you
Wow, one year already. You're nothing short of amazing and here's to another year of wonderful content and adventures with you, love!
if it helps you: before the introduction of artificial light we didnt sleep just once but woke up inbetween. For more info adam ruins everything had smth about it. Maybe that will calm your anxiety (? words are hard sometimes) surrounding this topic
Fresh Arche I was just thinking 🤔 about “Adam Ruins Everything”. Love ❤️ that show
Good idea!
You are such a warm and sincere person. I can't imagine the pain you have been through, but you would never know it from how positive and sunny you are in all your videos. I met you in the theatre recently with Lucy and Leena and sort of word vomited at you all instead of saying what I wanted to say. I suppose it was a bit overwhelming to meet the entire Banging Book Club in one go and I didn't want to interrupt your evening - but I just wanted to say thank you, Hannah, for being such a strong and wonderful human. You are truly fantastic.
As a nurse. I have so much respect and admiration for people with colostomy and ileostomy. So much goes behind the scenes that people don’t even have a clue. I wish you the best I hope you continue to do better and that you continue to be an inspiration and help to many.
Frequent watcher, rare commenter here. Been a subscriber for a few years, and before your channel I had no idea what ulcerative colitis even was, let alone that stomas existed and were a thing that people had to live with. I personally have never even had any surgery. Through following your journey, I've learned a lot more about the world and the human body than I otherwise would've had the opportunity to, so thank you for sharing. I'd like to think I'm now a more aware and empathetic human in the world, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. Hope 2019 brings you great happiness, health, and success!
I really admire your courage to talk publicly about your health and medical challenges. You absolutely have every right to your privacy about such things. I am not upset or offended, I just feel the need to respect your right to privacy.
3 days ago today was the 1 year anniversary of when I had surgery to get a feeding tube, & it’s crazy to think about how VASTLY different my life is now compared to a year ago. Like, I was in the mind set of “if I died right now I wouldn’t even care”, but now I’m basically a normal functioning human again & I have a life again.
I don't have UC. Nor do I have a stoma. I did have surgery 10 years ago (OMG it's been that long) that changed my life forever. I'll never run again and many activities are difficult. Therapy helps a lot. Just with UC you'll have bad days and great moments. Thank you for sharing with us. Inspired me to make a video about my surgery and what it has changed about my life.
I just want to give you a hug and a cup of tea and say thank you for being so open and chatty about things people don't normally chat about. Having lots of tummy issues lately and I really appreciate you and your videos.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MONA!!!
Thanks for being such a great voice for Ulcerative Colitis and raising awareness for all of us that suffer alike.
made me tear up when you did, im so pleased to see how much stronger you are now and so proud of your optimism you are truly an amazing woman and i am grateful to have someone like you as an idol, you really deserve the world hannah youre amazing
Happy Birthday to Mona! You had me crying again when talking about your mental health, so you're welcome, but also know you're stronger for coming through it all (and it's also been great for your channel engagement and views, so ...)!
You are SO strong. As a physically disabled person, I find that you are so much more candid than most. I don't have limits as far as answering questions and clearly you do not either. I admire you :D Take care!
This November is the 10 year anniversary of my chronic pain. My ten year Painiversary! I am going to throw a massive party and celebrate everything I've both had to do (corrective back surgeries, getting my spinal cord stimulator implant, PT, etc) and been able to do (traveling to Japan and South Korea!) in the past ten years. It is so nice to kind of take back those years and say "hey, some parts may have been really tough and almost broken me...but the other parts have kept me going and continue to give me a reason to keep going now!"
So, I think a party for your 1 year surgery anniversary is awesome. You have to take the good moments when you can.
I admire the way you are able to talk about so many things that some people pretend don't exist. You do it well. Good luck.
The part where you said you wanted to put a positive spin on your stoma-versary made me cry. This is the two-year anniversary of me having to leave my former job in order to heal from my chronic back pain, and I get so sad this time of year because of it. But now I know I can look at it as the day I decided to put my health first
It was my 5 year stomaversary on the 7th, best of luck with yours!
You've found the right word.
Yaaaaaas! Stomaversary is perf 👌
I got my stoma just under two years ago, and watching your recovery from surgery videos and seeing you being so confident and open about life as a young woman with a stoma has helped me accept life with a stoma and be more open with my friends and family about my stoma.
I completely agree with your fear over the thought of a stoma being forever, despite day-to-day I don’t mind it at all!
Really appreciate you keeping you tearing up in the video. I think it really helps to drive home the seriousness of mental health and how it can have just as devastating impact on ones life as physical health. Counselling/Therapy very important. No matter how supportive a person is, an impartial person to cry and vent to is so so so important and healthy.
So, when I started having symptoms, I immediately thought of you. It was scary to find out that I was right when I was diagnosed, but it was reassuring to have seen all these videos and know as much as I did.
It's been a little bit more than a year since my body started attacking itself (thereby creating the colitis), but I didn't actually get it confirmed before it had been close to 9 months. It may be the mildest form of it, but having a chronic illness is tiring and scary.
Thank you for sharing of yourself all this time! I always appreciate different points of view from people, so I enjoyed your series. However, I would never have imagined that it would help me personally too. Thank you again.
Damn it Hannah. This made me tear up a little. I've always admired your strength and willingness to talk about stuff as important as this. You are doing amazing, sweety.
My father died of cancer 9 years ago when I was 13 ans during the 3 years that he endured cancer he had two stomas, one just like yours and one for pee. you really helped me understand what he has experienced with his stoma through your video. Thank you so much.
You are so brave and glowing, this is very moving to watch. Wishing you all the best.
Concerning your problem with having to wake up during the night to empty the bag, i know my father had a tube linked to a very big bag so that he didn't have to do this, this way in the morning he unplugged the big bag and emptied it, and was left with the normal stoma. Hope that helps event though i get it must be quite hard to be attached to a big bag all night long.
I hope you realise how much you contribute to so many people, you spread knowledge and empathy on so many levels. Please don’t stop we still have so much to learn together. Thanks for being so brave, you are one tough young woman.
One thing that helps me is that there’s almost certainly no such thing as laziness. Nobody chooses to be unproductive - it’s a symptom of something. For you, it’s a symptom of exhaustion and feeling like you should be achieving more, which stems from ableism. I know it’s so fucking hard to internalise that reality because of how strong the negativity is, I’m still working on it too. Love you heaps, okay? x
Hi Hannah, I love that you "tell it as it is" how much simpler life would be if people stopped skirting around issues, and told people what they really want to know, with no inhibitions. I think in the short time that you have had a stoma you have raised awareness so much on a subject which was always steeped in fear and mystery.
Hi Hannah 👋 I'm an ICU nurse and traumatic feelings and emotions after a long or stressful hospital stay are way more common than you'd think. We use diaries to help long term patients fill in gaps in their memory or tell them what happened when we have them sedated on a ventilator. Reading your Mum's Journal could be a great help to you. I hope you find peace with your health journey. Your body can do so much for you now. You should be so proud xo
You hear this everyday I am sure, but I wanted to say how inspirational and fucking awesome you are. Well done for making it a year Hannah- you are so strong to be so positive about this. This year you have brought awareness and made thousands of people less alone; you've been confident, you ran 5k! You're SUCH A QUEEN. Thank you for exsisting, being so honest, and so brilliant. I love you, I'm so proud to be a subscriber!
Also if you can afford it I want you to go and find a therapist right now because the longer you put it off the harder it will be to sign yourself up and the more you tell people your'e going to do it, you can often get the rush of "yes I'm going to do this thing" and then never do it... so please do it!
Yes, this. Please Hannah, please go talk to someone!
One of the best things I did after surgery was therapy. Thankfully it was advised to me because I was going back to university, and my student fees covered on site counselling. It helped me finally come to terms with my depression that I experienced long before being ill but had been trigger by the sudden trauma of hospitalization (3 Hospitalizations in 9 months, ulcerative colitis symptoms in december, 1st hospitalization and diagnosis of UC/Crohns in January, complications in February and by September I had stoma surgery)
You've recovered very well and been and example to many.
Thank you for existing, sweet Hannah.
I’m so proud - I can relate to PTSD regarding being in hospital and being sick, but it gets better and you’ve come so far already! Lots of love xo
Thank you for talking about everything as much as you do. Talking to someone about time in hospital and PTSD around health things has helped me so much. I had no idea. Also, you're just bloody awesome hun.
Your spirit and humanity is an inspiration. You are a prime example of humanities adaptability!
I used to have a stoma for almost a year during my chemo and I remember I hated this. I KNEW it has saved me but I could not get through the feeling of this being a stranger in my own body. Chemo, somehow, I could get away with it, but the stoma... It was a real struggle for my social life and intimacy. I wish that such a channel existed when I had this 7 years ago - I felt very lonely about it at that time. I thought that only ill, old people had this and I was in my early 30s. Maybe my life back then would have been easier thanks to someone like you, Hannah - thank you so much for talking so freely about this taboo subject. ❤️
Definitely not for oldies, I think with so many young people who have Stomas, has helped to publicise taboo subjects and bring awareness like this. Great stuff!
Oh Hannah, when you teared up it made my whole chest tighten. I have absolutely loved watching this videos over the past year, letting you educate me on a subject I knew nothing about before. I know you'll be getting a lot of comments like this, but I'd honestly just like to say that you're so incredibly brave. You never stop trying and that is something worth every bit of intense admiration I have for you 💜
i love how blunt you are. you dont sugar coat anythign because thats what life is like!!
I used to watch your videos but never intensively but now, I try to watch every video as soon as its uploaded because you inspire so many of us that have troubled lives to do better. That thing you said about having a positive outlook, its something most of us could never do and I just want to thank you so much for sharing with us your trials and tribulations. And you have our thoughts and respect with you and of course your partner and family because all of you have endured so much this past year. Please continue to share your thoughts because for those of us who do not know where to turn, anyone can watch your videos and feel inspired to persevere and do better. Thank you Hannah Witton.
I only found your channel because of your takeover on zoella but I wish I had followed you and not her years ago. I saw only a few of your videos but you seem like such a smart, strong, and beautiful woman, I wish I could be like you! You are incredible in the truest meaning of that word. Life must get difficult for you and I hope you're dealing ok with it but damn I just really want to express MY FULL RESPECT!!! Sending you so much love! You are amazing!
The fear of it becoming permanent for me was terrifying as well. I always thought of my stoma as a temporary thing, I could never bring myself to think it would be there forever. I have a jpouch now and it was the best decision I ever made. Sleeping through the night was impossible with my stoma but I’ve been able to get back into a proper sleep pattern again with the jpouch. Thank you for being so open and honest about your journey, I wish this was around when I was going through everything. It would have made things much easier and made me realize that I wasn’t alone in what I was going through. 💕🇨🇦
I just want to give you a giant hug! Your outlook, attitude, openness and positivity are amazing. I don't think I could talk so openly about my disability and health like you and I think of myself as an open person. Enjoy your videos keep it up!
Stomaversary! Wow this video got me emotional about how far you’ve come in the last year... You’re killing it more and more everyday! You’re so strong Hannah, such an inspiration 💛
You should look into sleep cycles. Maybe you are timing the alarm to change your stoma in the middle of a sleep cycle which means the next time you wake up you'll feel more tired. It's the science behind 20min naps. 90min are also good but anything in between might leave you feeling drowsy!
you’ve been so generous w/ sharing your stoma journey! you are a model of transparency & demystifying illness. thank you so much, hannah.
Wow, it’s so good to see all you have gone through this year and hear how positive you are. Even if your viewers don’t all relate to the actual aroma problems, we all have our hidden problems and internal struggles with body and mental health. It needs to be address as much as breaking stigmas concerning sex! Double up on the relevance of your work Hannah, nice!
As you said it's amazing to see how the human body can adapt, but obviously it leaves marks on your mental health. I really love the fact that you are open about it. I actually did learn a lot this year about my own health (abdominal pains as well) thanks to your content, so keep it up!
i absolutely LOVE how you’re able to talk about this and share this side of your life. honestly, thank you. i had pain for years and finally got diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease last year and its so isolating feeling like your illness is too ‘gross’ to really talk about with friends or teachers so i dont get to talk about how i feel when i’m in a flare up. it feels really good to hear you talk so openly about it, so thank you. glad to hear you’re doing well!
I find it amazingly validating when people that aren't from traditional mental health circles talk about their issues. It helps me feel normal. For me, getting therapy was a bit like you having your colon out. It gave me back control of my health and has helped me build a new and better life that doesn't have to revolve around my illness. I wish you all the best with your mental and physical recovery :)
I've watched you for so long and I'm so sorry for the pain you and others are in that are affected by this. I love how honest you are because you're truly one of the most influential people on TH-cam for me. Thank you for everything!
I have to agree with the person who thought your leaving the tearing up in was a good idea. Very touching, very engaging. And with all you've gone through, and the way you've handled it... well, I hope you don't mind my saying so, but you're one HELL of a lady! Congratulations, and I wish you all the best.
I've seen other people commenting about it too, but the concept of two-sleeps was revolutionary to my perception of sleep. When I had really bad anxiety about sleep several years ago, learning that it's not a big deal to wake up in the middle of the night really and truly changed my life. Plus it makes me feel super connected to the past, being awake at 3am, imagining what people hundreds of years ago would have been doing at the same time.
Your courage in discussing these problems - especially the mental hurdles - is an inspiration to everyone. May this year be a good one for you and those close to you.
I have Crohn’s and had a temporary stoma for 6 months in 2017. I know I may need one again in the future which gets me panicky but watching your videos helps me to remember that it’s not all that bad! Thank you for sharing and well-done on thriving through your first year! :) x
Wow! I appreciate this so much! Was hospitalized in 2018 and went through several surgeries leaving me with a colostomy bag that can be reversed. But to tell your stories and have someone somewhat similar understand what you have gone through. Love your videos! Keep happy and always smile!
Just keep being you love. You don't even come close to knowing how you matter to the people who follow you.
Your awesome honey!!!
Definitely need a mattress protector. I find if I don't eat anything 2 hours before going to bed and I empty my bag right before I go to sleep, I can get about 6 hours. Also the position I sleep in helps so when the bag is empty I can pretty much sleep in any position. I can sleep on either side as it starts fill but once it passes half way full I find sleeping on my back more secure. I'm so used to it that I check my bag in my sleep, kind of just feel for it. I had my rectum removed too so my stoma is permanent but I don't mind that!
I recently heard form a friend that for a lot of human history it was actually really normal to sleep in two shifts, and that having two sleeps the same length as one big sleep is just as good. I don't know the details but I thought that might reassure you. :) (Also, you seem like the least lazy person ever, no need to judge yourself for needing a little extra sleep.)
Charlotte I've heard this too! Something about two 4 hour blocks, and the time in between was often when couples would chat or be intimate. I think I read that this only stopped being normal in Victorian times but like you I'm foggy on the details. It definitely reassures me when I have lots of broken nights!
I absolutely admire your ability to keep these videos completely clean, it's actually amazing.
i’ve said this before but it’s really great that you’re using this as a way to educate and help others. i’m really proud of you, you’re doing a lot of good in the world xx
Thanks for being open, Hannah! I'm glad you're well!
You're so well spoken about a variety of topics, and it's nice to come to your channel, stay a while, and learn something new each time.
Very different situation but I’m 5 months post c section surgery. A lot of people view c sections as no big deal because they’ve become so common. I invite those people to have major open abdomen surgery, while conscious and have a human pulled out of them, followed by exactly the same recovery period as other major surgeries except you have to to look after a newborn! And while I am exceptionally and eternally grateful to the surgeon and their team for getting my boy here safely to me, I am not at peace with my own body. I feel it failed me at doing what it was -essentially- created to do. So because of this WELL DONE!! On getting your confidence back and cracking on, I’m hoping that will be me one day!
Happy Birthday Moana!!
I am so proud of you Hannah! I know that I will never understand what you went through, but hopefully everyone here can show you that you won't regret it because of how far you have come. I love you ♥️
Thank you for talking about this so freely. You're making a terrifying possible future far less scary for me
Hannah, stay strong and stay resolute. You are a lovely, exceptional person, who is both inspirational and so very real. Your online presence and the thoughtful sharing way that you bring all sorts of humanized information, thoughts, and feelings to an online community, are gifts to all. The humor, joy and warmth that you share are gifts to all your viewers. So, again, stay strong and stay wonderful. And thank you.
I've almost had my ileostomy for a year too! I'm about to head back into hospital for my colectomy. Your videos are so helpful, and I feel less alone when I watch them.
I can so relate to that morning struggle and internalized ableism. I have a health condition that causes me to need time in bed in the morning to raise my blood pressure enough to stand, and I fought it and fought it to be ‘productive’ and be a ‘morning person’. Now I go to bed earlier and relax in the morning in bed for an hour and read, think about what I need to do that day, or just rest without guilt, and my days go much better, even though I’ve ‘lost time’. And I’ve been finishing a lot of books I’ve always wanted to read! Good luck to you, I hope you can find the balance you’re looking for.
Hiya Hannah Daniel here. I am Hige fan and just wanted to say keep going and that im in your corner cheering you on. Daniel.x
lol...I do the same thing with the alarm setting. I set the first alarm for four hours after I lay down. I have had two catastrophes in bed, with my appliance anyway, and I am very blessed to have a wife that tells me to go deal with my bag and she fixes the bed situation.
I was so hesitant about going to therapy, and talking about what ‘happened’ but I am SOOO glad I did, the relief.
Please go x
Thank you for sharing your story! I’m a nursing student (I graduate in June) and It’s both very interesting and very educational for me to hear your story from the perspective of a patient. I now have a better idea of what a patients experience can be like, and I hope to be able to use that in helping and supporting patients in similar situations in the future!
I remember watching your first video about the time you spent in hospital, last year, right as i was sitting in my hospital bed. I thought to myself, wow, thats a weird coincidence. Anyway, parts of what you've been sharing heal me. You're incredibly strong for sharing. Stay healthy!
Holy crap I used to watch your videos years ago and you were a super strong individual then. Now you are the biggest badass ever! Thank you so much for sharing your life with us in such intimate ways and we will always support you!
The part about your mom's journal was powerful. I'm glad you're taking care of yourself and are aware of what you need.
Additionally, as someone who also really likes sleep, I know this sounds like a crazy thought, but you should look into alternative sleep schedules. There are schedules where you might sleep 4 hours, get up and go about your day for 5-10 hours, then sleep again for 4 hours. Or other schedules with more frequent but shorter sleeping amounts. As you say, people are really rather adaptable and it may suit you more than trying to go 9 hours straight with a small break in the middle.
Sorry if this is a really stupid question but is there a reason they can't make bigger bags for use at night? That way they can hold more and so can go longer without needing to be emptied. Kind of like night time night time period pads?
MrAbletospeak good luck! I have a stoma and I got mine in October but it has changed my life for better
MrAbletospeak Hope your surgery went OK and that you have recovered well!
MrAbletospeak My issue was cancer too, but after many years of ulcerative colitis. I am very positive about my stoma (Kermit) and grateful because without him I would be dead. You can’t change the fact of the stoma, but you can change your attitude! Having a positive outlook about it, and giving your stoma a name helps you make friends with it, and it really, really helps you get your life back and feel better all round. I do hope your cancer treatment has been successful! In May of this year I was discharged from the oncology dept which is great.
I kknow tht for urine bags there ssome you can connect to a draining pouch. But im not sure if there one for stool tooo
My friend has transverse myelitis and essentially woke up paralyzed 3 years ago. It took her until a few months ago to be able to read her medical file without having a panic attack. Like you, she has PTSD from that time in hospital, but found that going through her medical file really seemed to help her realize what exactly happened during that time. Both in her body as well as in hospital because she doesn’t remember it all. Just a thought. 💕
Wow to see your struggle & watch your inner strength come out is truly inspiring... Stay strong beautiful young lady, you've caught my attention & will forever be in my heart & prayers...
honestly cannot believe its been a year, thats mental !!! Im so incredible proud of you !! i love you sm xx
I'm happy to know that I'm not the only one who is fascinated by the output from my stoma. You become more intimately acquainted with your poop than you ever imagined was possible. You find out what really happens to all the junk you eat and it isn't as much as you thought. Hannah, you are incredibly lucky to have had only one leak at home. I have had many due to a problem stoma that's in a crease. I have had a serious leak while eating in a restaurant which thankfully wasn't as bad as it could have been, only going onto my shirt and pants but not the floor. Mine is a temporary ileostomy due to cancer surgery and I have a sneaking suspicion that I'll miss it once it's gone. Oh, you are so right, you don't miss pooing one bit.
Congrats on your year anniversary! I'm coming up on my anniversary of entering hospital for depression/anxiety. I'm doing a lot better than I was last year, but I'm finding myself struggling as my year anniversary approaches. I appreciate your honesty about dealing with your health struggles and dealing with the trauma of being sick. Lots of love to you!
Hey Hannah
I have no clue if you'll see this but I just wanted to comment to say that nearly three years ago I went through major surgery i wasnt expecting. I think a lot of people don't appreciate that the anniversary of surgeries can be an emotional time. Every year I have a few days of being upset but then I get up and remember im okay. So, I hope you're doing okay as I know this is possibly a difficult time for you. Also I went into therapy around six months after my surgery and it drastically helped my recovery so I would highly recommend as you've maybe not dealt with everything and talking to someone that wasnt around the event made such a difference to me. x