I’m 64 recently divorced following a 32 year marriage with four children all of whom are adults . And yes it is been hard I endure financial insecurity , loneliness and grief. I was prepared for this , for when I compared those challenges with spending the rest of my precious life with a man who routinely mocked me, openly flirted , had a serious porn addiction and multiple affairs I decided I would risk the uncertainty of life after divorce rather than certain misery and the slow death of my person hood . How am I now , sad, but it’s a rich feeling so much more tolerable than the flat colour less tension I felt in my marriage . I also have those things so important to all of us , dignity and hope.
sorry to hear that, but I wana let you know, my mom divorced twice and she's Christian, but she said, if you are not happy and not given what they promised, that's a break of their promise and bond, you are free to leave as you only live once. Live it the BEST way you can, don't ever settle for less :)
his behavior makes him a person aiming down. you seem to want to aim up. he, in my opinion, is an a hole. Try to remember you are God's favorite (we all are) and go have some fun. It will take time to remove all the staples your evil husband drove into you. People who love you don't use a staple gun on you. He was and is s h i t.
Me too, it was bad. It took 6 years to feel normal. I’m remembering who I used to be. Toxic relationships are so draining. They steal all your emotional energy and you can’t think about your own needs, let alone take note of what others need.
You are a hero to me. To break away from that trauma bond you have to be one strong woman. I hope you get the blessings in life you so richly deserve. You are awesome my dear and don’t ever forget that.
It may be too late for me… 74. 😢exhausted by 47 years with the covert, occasionally malignant, cruel, narcissist. Best wishes to all seekers of healing. ❤ An update: 2 weeks later I feel better. Got my fitness routine established: walk, swim, yoga on my own and one class. Maybe someone needs to hear this: getting in touch with my neglected self and learning to love myself as I am: old, but still pretty smart, stronger physically and wiser. Love and peace ☮️💕
Oh crikey 😒😢47 yrs...your adrenals..everything including your soul will be utterly exhausted 😔I lasted 28 yrs..massive struggle the latter 8 yrs or so and so trauma bonded kept low contact further 4 yrs..so resulted in 33 yrs now..since 1990 we met..I am still healing so slowly..all areas of my life a mess..but a veil is lifting to become stronger..I have to sort eventually..being triangulated with his Ex before me..they never change..it became extremely traumatic for me..Bless you 🙏 whatever you decide or can decide is best 🙏❤
Good video! I was married to a narcissistic husband for nearly 20years and meanwhile I'm divorced since 9 years. The first two years have been tough but it was always a release! Divorce from the narcissist was my best decision despite all the fears and insecurities. During the time I started new hobbies, met new people I like a lot and had some relationships with men. Now I'm 61, a happy single and living a peaceful life in freedom. Be brave and take the risk❣ Greetings from Germany 🤗
I was 58 when I filed for divorce and 5 years later I was divorced and my 12 year old daughter was turned against me. It was such a catch 22 situation ; stay and endure some abuse or leave, and endure less abuse . I do think my daughter was brainwashed against me and even if I stayed her mother gets too much sadistic pleasure out of hurting me and creating chaos.
@Mark A. the pain of suffering in this type of marriage is so terrible. It makes us physically and mentally ill. Show good character in your life and your daughter will see the good man you are. That was the promise I made myself and so now that he's gone I don't have to hang my head in shame about who I was. Maybe get a picture of yourself as a young person and take care of yourself as you would love that young man and protect him. It's been hobbies I love that have helped me too. My best to you
We have been married for 44 years. From the start, we respected each other's independent nature. We are "project people" who have explored our inner realm from the beginning, and our children, now independent adults, are living their independent dreams. Neither are married, but have stable relationships. Projects are part of our children's lives and satisfaction. Thank the Lord for creative minds! In difficult days there is always a cave to withdraw to. Unlike the gym or the mall, where other narcissists hang out, a cave is less likely to attract such animals! 😁
Three kids and it’s been hard financially but it was the best thing I ever did! I expected to be alone forever and it would still have been so much better than being married to my narc ex! I am now in my mid 50s and I was alone for 6 years. But I have the best new partner and he shows me so much love every day.
I pray for anyone in a relationship with a narcissist. It is draining and will drive you mad, questioning your own sanity. After 2 years of marriage and 2 kids, she brought out her true self. Aside from all the never-ending demands and unhappiness, she counter parents on everything, including faith. I feel so sorry for my young children. I will do my best to raise them right but I can see the damage she is doing already to them. I literally have chest pain as I type this and my body is shutting down. I need to leave so my kids have a father.
I am totally happier divorced. Not perfect but being alone in a relationship is lonelier than actually being alone. I am proud of myself and left at 62.
I left after 40 years of marriage! I’m 59! I left a couple weeks ago. It’s scary but I’m trusting the Lord for my promised land. I have to get a job because I was my husbands caregiver for 35 years because he became paralyzed in a motorcycle accident when we were 23 years old. And of course he could careless and don’t want to help me at all but he has to give me half of everything. I told him that today and boy did that make him mad. SMH!
I’m 61 and divorcing after 37 years. It’s always been abusive, but when our youngest son moved out, the demon really came out. I too have to find a job, but it’s difficult. Been semi-retired since 2020, on my husband’s urging, and I walked right into that trap. How did I figure that it was a trap? He mocked what I make part time then started going through grocery bags yelling at me about buying too much. He even checked the garbage and recycling bins. My neighbor saw him doing this. I’m so tired. 😞. Gob bless you both.
I did....set myself free from a toxic marriage after 27 years... And proud of making it on my own...although he was allways telling me i couldn t survive..😊
WhenI my narcissistic ex finally signed the divorce papers I felt a tremendous sense of relief and have experienced more peace than I had ever known before. Happy? My relationship with Christ have grown exponentially. I’d say this is happiness.
I’ve told my narc, (we’ve been married 34 years and I set a boundary 3 1/2 years ago, of sleeping in separate rooms and living separate lives,) but I told him in the Bible, God says not to trust in man, but the trust in him. The Bible also says it’s better not to marry. Apparently he didn’t believe any of that but it shut him up in that moment. He’s so afraid to lose me, because he needs me to uphold his self image he’s created. My auto immune and fibromyalgia has caused me to lose my voice, and my swallowing muscles in my esophagus to not work well together. I’ve been through swallowing rehab & Voice rehab, and recently had a small stroke. I just turned 58. I’m waiting on God to lead me whether to divorce or not but thank God I was able to set that boundary.
And, The stress of living in emotional abuse is MUCH DIFFERENT than the stress of starting new. It's like comparing the stress of getting a univeristy degree or getting a divorce. DIFFERENT STRESSES
Thank you Kevin for a very wise and realistic analysis and approach to divorce. I got divorced from a narcisistic covertly passive agressive person five years ago and I think I would have died If I hadn’t decided to do it. When you are staying in an abusive narcisistic relationship you are slowly losing everything and I got to a point in which I would have done everything to end that crazy dysfunctional relationship. I had the strength to do it because of my daughter whom I wanted to protect and give her a chance to see that people differ and can live different lives with different values and goals in life and it will be up to her to decide which path seems more suitable for her. I could not live a life of lies and dishonesty any longer and I do not regret it. A day spent in a narcisistic relationship is a day wasted and you pay with your life.
Hard for me to even say this but I encourage abused spouses to move out and think very hard about whether you even miss the abuser, whether love is being given, whether you even like the other person and if they are willing to change. If no, then you are free to divorce with no shame, pray and see what God shows you. I wish you peace and joy from a fellow abuse survivor 4 years divorced.
I have divorced two. And I don't regret it at all. They were both cheating on me. And that is one thing I cannot deal with. They both tried to take everything that I had. But I moved to a different state and couldn't be happier! And I'm a better mother to my son.
Good that you prioritised your self worth and the environment you'd be bringing your son up in. I'm also happy they didn't get what they wanted. People are scum, man 🤢
I am 60 - And have been divorced nearly a year from a very abusive narcissistic spouse! I do feel I am in my prime, and I did have to choose divorce on my own through much prayer after 2 1/2 years of increased abusive circumstances. I Say thank you Lord that I am delivered from the unrighteous and cruel handed man!
I was married for 45 years to a narcissist. Got out 4 years ago. He had robbed and spent every cent of our retirement monies and if he had his own way back then, he would of left me with nothing. Cost me a fortune for a divorce lawyer but walked out with a paid up house and car. I may be broke financially but it was the best thing I ever did!! Was not going to let him take everything for himself. Went complete no contact immediately and will continue it for a lifetime. Please dont waste the years that I did. There is a life after a narcissist🎉
I'm so happy for you, Debby, & sorry for everything you endured for so long. 44 yrs, here, & 42 of them, married. Well, if you can call 1 way toward him, cheating, lying, & financial ruin, marriage. It helps me to hear there's hope even after so many years. Thanks, for sharing.
Same for me at 62. He stole my teacher retirement 6 months before leaving. Gave up the house so I can buy it back. Have $40,000 left to get set up. 😢House was next door to spying, alienated backstabbing son he turned against me with his lies. Glad to be out!
@@ChickenHawk-f1g These demons have a way of turning family member against family member. Divide and conquer is their plan. Stay strong and independent as you got this!!!! Happy you are finally free!!!!!!!
Left a year ago age 59 when I realised he was fleecing our savings. I had suffered all kinds of abuse and the divorce is dragging out but so worth it I feel a million times better ❤
I’m ready to be over with this 34 year marriage to a closet gay narcissist. I’m getting geared up for sure. Got some health issues to take care of first. I don’t listen to anyone church related. I listen to people who have been through it.
have you listened to behind the mirror videos. she is very good too. You know Kevin is a Christian! He just doesn't buy the church, religious dogma. I may be wrong though.
It's never too late. I'm eight years behind you. Left a month ago and live in a controlled rent apt. Best decision I made for myself. Wish you nothing but the best❤
@@rascallyrabbitJESUS didn't buy religious stuff either...& HE hates divorce.. but if someone Is cheating on you.& abusing you... HE said we can divorce...
Well done. I was divorced from my husband then came back together. We live as a family now. It was a very good decision for me and my kids. We have a beautiful life minus intimacy and true friendship. It’s more of a partnership. Parts of me died but parts of me are alive. There’s a cost and a benefit to all decisions. Moral of the story, choose wisely the first time around. Choose wisely the first time around. Don’t settle out of fear.
Hi, I am considering separation or divorce. I would love to learn more about your situation and why you went back to your husband, so I can maybe learn from it.
YES!!! I divorced my NACR, we're married for 26 years. I truly wished I divorced him years ago!! I'm a lot more happier without him and less stress because they put that on you. l've been single for the last three years, I'm good being single, but look forward to being with a man who Loves God more than me! :)
You are never too old to start over. I did it in my 60's, it's hard financially but I do not regret it. My health is better and I am now just finding me. You can do it, just do your best everyday and cry when you need to. God bless you, you are courageous!
I stayed for 19 years with children because it was the Christian thing to do. If I was an atheist I would have left years ago and started a healthy new life with no abuse. At 50 I now have a fresh start with freedom and Joy. My kids are already seeing the difference being away from the toxicity ❤ Great advice.
I’m leaving, 16 years married. My 3 children are the reason I’ve stayed through this last year of pure hell, because I knew he’d do everything in his power to destroy me by taking them from me. I’ve said it would’ve been easier to divorce if I wasn’t a Christian, because I wouldn’t have listened to his constant abuse of scripture, telling me God wants him to control me, the Bible says a woman must submit to her husband even if he’s wrong, etc. He refuses to treat me like a human, yet is already making divorce an all out war.
I have been going through something similar. Just stick to what you want the end goal to be. Your kids are going to grow up and have their own lives. They need to see you free from the abuse.
I'm a giver. I'm not insecure of who i am. But I'm very insecure on who to give it to. I'm very emotional by this video.I'm drained for years. Thank you for your messages. Fear is what hunts me
To my surprise, when I told my wife of 27 years I was going to divorce her the day she left instead of a great sadness I felt like a huge load was taken off my shoulders! I’m not saying it was a easy process but the sadness I felt while I was married was far worse. This is not to advocate what others should do but simply my experience. 15:15 Thanks for sharing this information!
That’s like continuing drug abuse because getting clean doesn’t guarantee happiness, and everyone else is doing it. Our economy is heavily dependent on people staying married at all costs. People live in so much fear. Separate from the haters, even adult children if needed. Eventually, after they’re alone with the narcissist they will see the light and come back around. The narcissist will find a new victim and they will see.
Question Where do I start in the process to divorce?? I’m 59 working full time retail Hubby never put my name on the home and he is retired I’ve been married 13 years and did not realize how unfeeling and cold and self centered he is until he retired although I can see a ton of red flags after the fact He wants my paycheck but I don’t give it any more which is confusing him and he keeps asking for it.
@@Oh-happy-day don’t give him any money and go talk to a lawyer asap. Just because his name is on the house doesn’t mean anything. He’d have to sell it and split the equity. Be really sure he doesn’t find out you spoke to a lawyer.
YOU OPEN YOUR OWN BANK ACCOUNT AT A DIFFERENT BANK. START RESEARCHING RENTING ROOMS IN BOARDING HOUSES OR APARTMENT RENTS. RESEARCH FINDING ROOMMATES TO SHARE EXPENSES IN YOUR AREA. REMEMBER TO COLLECT YOUR IMPORTANT PAPERS AND KEEP THEM IN A SAFE PLACE.
Thank for sharing. I am at the fork. Two adult children and two grandkids. Married 47 years, also raised Catholic and believed in marriage 💯 “ until death keeps us apart.” But I had 3 bad falls in period of 18 months. I got injured, I was very vulnerable. The narcissist refused to call 911 while I was in horrific pain from what felt like a fracture of a spine. A day later it was confirmed at Urgent Care ( I made an appointment) it was vertebral compression fracture of L1. I am hunted by his disapproval of my state of vulnerability. It makes me feel unsafe as I will, obviously will continue to age. He is 3 years younger in excellent shape. I am making a desperate attempt to heal from my injuries: I do my PT on my own, but it is emotionally painful how my husband of 47 years offers me no support and makes serious efforts to indulge in all day hiking snd out if town visits. Friends and Trader Joe’s soups were feeding me during 6 weeks of staying in bed. My heart is healing slower than my body. Best wishes.
Learn to see the beautiful you separate from them. I couldn't do it until I listened to 8 hr affirmations to love myself etc while I slept at night. They are free on youtube. Search: 8hr. Affirmations then choose your video. Later as you heal do the same with 8hr. Hypnosis for ..... It trained my mind all these loving phrases and then his voice in your head fades.
Yep, it sucks. But there’s still so much beauty out there. Though if someone had told me that right after my divorce, I’d have thought they were crazy.
It's truly painful when people cannot accept anything you have to offer - when nothing from you matters to them. My now deceased father was this way, and I still have living family members who fall in this category. I have since gone no contact with them. When I was in my early 20's, I was in a relationship like this where the man could never accept anything from me, and I had a lot to give. The whole business made me feel very sad, but I kept my interests, friends, and career aspirations in line. It took a few years, but one day I realized that I had let him go. It was a good feeling.
I'm 48 and divorcing after 20 years of marriage. This is so hard, but I just couldn't take the cruel behavior, constant put downs, insults, coming home late and drunk and yelling at me.
My narcissist wife got a little too 'friendly' with one of my neighbors and gave me the biblical grounds I needed to call it quits. I have no regrets. The most important thing I came to realize was that the person I fell in love with and married no longer exists... I divorced the monster she became.
I find this to be helpful and a very different way. I feel like all the things people are scared to lose. I’ve already lost while married. That’s how you know it’s time to go. I can only gain now.
I have been having difficulties with my marriage for sometimes now but with the help of this Sorceress, I have been able to put my marriage back together.
whoa, hold your horses. Jesus said to test the spirits for they are not all of God, Jehovah. We have our brain and we have our minds that choose which spirit we will listen to and that mind tells the brain what to do.. Be careful. A sorcerer and sorceress are aligned with the devil in the Bible. Does this person believe that Jesus was raised from the dead and does she obey the Word. Even Satan believes in God but Satan does not obey Jehovah God. But, if you are not a born again believer, forgive my intrusion. She is a voodoo priestess. Truth and lies.
@@rascallyrabbitThank you! You are not intruding! Telling someone the TRUTH is what our HEAVENLY FATHER wants us to do! JESUS is THE ANSWER! Look to HIM! Thank you.❤🙏🏼❤
Thank you for this, yes I divorced my abusive ex, best thing I did. Yes lots of unknowns and emotion but now I have a chance of thriving not just surviving
I’m 37 the narcissist is 62 constantly controls everything but when I speak up I’m silly stupid crazy he can yell but if I do too loud no I’m talking over you sir 😢constantly getting my kids on his side. I gotta start over actually excited I love my kids but what u said is so true I say one day God will show my kids when they are older that I was with their narcissistic dad 😢😮 I kept saying all this is not normal buys food for hisself kids while I’m hungry he always got something to do when I have a interview or something important cause my suv broke down worst thing ever to be without a car and job around a narcissist truly bad
Not being able to nurture my partner because this will be rejected or misunderstood does create a stress. Thank you, Kevin. This is the first time I feel validated about this kind of suffering in the marital situation with the father of my children. I am naturally inclined to hug, or to show interest in “his are you? “ My covert narcissist would not let me greet him and show him the delight about coming home. Looking back I see how he was already preoccupied how he is going to shame about … whatever. Sometimes about children’s toys on the floor of a piece of food that “supposed to be consumed by now!” Appreciate Kevin’s attention to not only what we don’t get in our relationship with the narcissist but also what do we loose by not being able to deliver love and care. It hurts. It brings also memories of wanting to comfort my mom when she was visibly distressed, and yet being terrified of approaching her with my nurturing gesture. Undelivered love is like a piece of glass in my body… what do you do with it? Trying to nurture myself with less self imposed resistance … for the first time in my life. It can be done.
48 and Divorcing with same Narcissist for second time. Total of 11 years with the same mental women!! Glad I have family and friends. Completely happy after getting out!!
I am soo soo grateful for the possibility of divorce ! Our grandparents did not have this opportunity. I went through this hell too, but few years afterwards I was born in a new life, I nevere expected.
One of your videos where you mention the effects on the HPA has saved me Thank you. I didn't even know what that was but did the research. I suffer tinitus which I know is created in the stress center of the brain. It has changed and pulses loudly. I concluded that I am deep into stage three. Told her I am divorcing and there were no words only silence. I am so ill now I know why and what I must do to save myself. THANK YOU!
Daily regular stresses of life are nothing when comparing living with a mentally abusive partner and who thinks his money is his and you have nothing forcing you to beg feel like you have to beg for money for normal expenses... I'm sorry those stresses keep you from sleeping and causes you to build an emotional wall around yourself.. Being free of that..As your life yourself realizes you are no longer oppressed... That gives a lot of joy that will compensate for every day life stresses.
You are right in everything you said. I wish I had this video years ago. I would have stayed married for the sake of my children not getting hurt more than they already were
Holy crap!!! I have never heard this phrase quite like this before and it’s GOLDEN!!! Thanks again my friend, for sharing TRUTH!!! Phrase: The grass is always greener on the other side until you step into 💩!!!!! 👏👏👏
Very good video! Exactly what I have been looking for. I've been so stressed out on whether to stay or go, but I am disabled and don't make a lot of money. I could use some suggestions on what to do. Please help!
Go to the human resources in your area. To get help with housing, look into Catholic charities in your area. Try to get food stamps, and money. Tell them what you're going through and look into legal aid for help in filing for a divorce. Or whatever you choose. I hope this helps. God bless!
Really glad you have done this Kevin, life with a narc is poor in every area and impacts children as adults too, life is better and richer safer happier for me and my adult son. I am now in my late sixties and divorced for 10 years running my own home for 13 years married over 20 years or should I say caged, but now have the life God has for me not what the narc wants to suck away, yes it takes time and effort but you are worth it and so are the ones you love.
If you are beaten and traumatized in a marriage! Divorce is best of course! Your life partner should give you comfort and support and not treat you like their slave !
As they used to say in Al-Anon, "When in doubt, don't." If you are a woman with children to raise, don't believe the Pollyanna fairy tales that everything's going to be fine. When times get tough, it will help you get through life if you realize you had taken the time to choose the best of two evils.
Thank you for this video, he kept asking me to go see therapists but I had made my mind up already, I know I made the right decision. :) Sometimes we just have to go thru an experience to learn, and I'm thankful I didn't waste too much time but still, it's not easy >_>
Kevin please do a video on being rejected everywhere am from a narcissistic family but also society rejects me alot I feel like am such a outcast with no supportive family please am lost I need people around me who uplift me I did the Myer Briggs personality test and I saw am an outcast personality aka infj can you do more videos about social rejection and spirit of rejection?????
I Know Absolutely , Rightly , Surety For Me Is The Thing To Do Is Divorce ! The Narcissist Spouse ( hus ) Is A permanent Pattern .. 🧠 So It Time To Say By , by !
Check out Professor Sam Vaknin who is the leading authority on personality disorders. He is the one who coined the labels “narcissistic abuse, flying monkeys etc” If you do your research you should be okay. Love is a blessing but we all need to grow and get help before running into the abyss of relationships.
Starvation--YES! And the frustration of not being able to give what I was designed to give. RE: Chicago. I think the phrase you're looking for is Shit Show
I just want to ask you a question about “ the beatitudes” Luke 6:29 Jesus is talking about loving your enemies - “ to him who strikes you on the cheek offer him the other also” it seems as if abuse is ok but I find this hard to believe and understand
It means to wish your enemies well, regardless of the fact that they do not do the same. Abraham got away from Lot and his folks when the two camps did not get along. Jesus escaped the Pharisees many times when they were abusive. Getting away from abuse is the message. Wishing your enemies well and praying for them can be done from afar. David ran from Saul, Ruth left her family, have nothing to do with worthless things of darkness the Bible advocates. Even Revelation 18:4 says "get out of her", in other words, get away from bad influence and don't let them affect you. That's love of yourself and your neighbor. Be a good example. Jesus was never pathetic, He was strong and confident. In fact, even Jesus got away from HIS family when they were abusive, and even set his mother straight (not heartless, but to the proper degree) when she crossed the line. So much... therefore... abuse is never ok.
@@matilda4406 thanks Matilda - I know all that - I am totally convince God hates abuse but it’s just the words of Jesus specifically “ when someone strikes you turn the other cheek “etc He is not saying run away - it’s like He is saying “ when they take your coat give your shirt too - give all of yourself and more - I am not in an abusive relationship but o would like to be able to explain this passage in a better note understandable way to others
@@stepheniewright5021 Jesus gave a lot ! But not to abusers. Follow his example. Heap fiery coals on their heads! Let them have what they want, whoever wants to steal your coat, give them your shirt also, they will never be satisfied
Perfectly said, divorce is awful. As they torture you and lie to the courts. While they are living with mental health and a full blown sex addiction while my son had no insurance. Gained a new subscriber excellent video.
How do you know when your wife of 8 years is a vulnerable narcissist? There are so many signs from watching on YT and reading, but she won’t admit to anything as that’s part of it? Or am I wrong, sorry I’m so confused and want to leave but every time I try I get either physically or emotionally blocked from doing so. Any advice welcome
A true narc will never admit to being one. Best is to follow your Godly instinct. God is showing you her real character. Listen to Him! You have to decide what's best for you. Pray on it. If you get to a point where staying is more painful than leaving, leave. Staying might come at a very high cost, you will pay with your life.
Nightmare cannot stand my ex husband to be he has belonged the finance in our divorce plus negotiations with narcissistic is a joke they feel that there above the law. Been apart and going through a divorce with narcissistic is a headache u get to the point when you want to get rid of them
I came from poverty. My wife hired me as a low level employee, then a few years later we are married. She's insane. She's also rich. I say "she" becuase she controls the money. Look, I'm 37. Shes 44. She has been gaslighting me for 8 years. She humiliates me. She lies and watches me burn. I have to get out. If I live in a cardboard box, I have to get out. Since I've been married I've been diagnosed with multiple mental illnesses. I learned it was all her fault for what she did to me for almost a decade. I dont know if i can forgive her. (she admittied in therapy, she lies to me every day for years)
I’m 64 recently divorced following a 32 year marriage with four children all of whom are adults . And yes it is been hard I endure financial insecurity , loneliness and grief. I was prepared for this , for when I compared those challenges with spending the rest of my precious life with a man who routinely mocked me, openly flirted , had a serious porn addiction and multiple affairs I decided I would risk the uncertainty of life after divorce rather than certain misery and the slow death of my person hood . How am I now , sad, but it’s a rich feeling so much more tolerable than the flat colour less tension I felt in my marriage . I also have those things so important to all of us , dignity and hope.
sorry to hear that, but I wana let you know, my mom divorced twice and she's Christian, but she said, if you are not happy and not given what they promised, that's a break of their promise and bond, you are free to leave as you only live once. Live it the BEST way you can, don't ever settle for less :)
his behavior makes him a person aiming down. you seem to want to aim up. he, in my opinion, is an a hole. Try to remember you are God's favorite (we all are) and go have some fun. It will take time to remove all the staples your evil husband drove into you. People who love you don't use a staple gun on you. He was and is s h i t.
Me too, it was bad. It took 6 years to feel normal. I’m remembering who I used to be.
Toxic relationships are so draining. They steal all your emotional energy and you can’t think about your own needs, let alone take note of what others need.
You are a hero to me. To break away from that trauma bond you have to be one strong woman. I hope you get the blessings in life you so richly deserve. You are awesome my dear and don’t ever forget that.
Praying for you sister. I'm proud of your courage. It will be rewarded.
It may be too late for me… 74. 😢exhausted by 47 years with the covert, occasionally malignant, cruel, narcissist. Best wishes to all seekers of healing. ❤
An update: 2 weeks later I feel better. Got my fitness routine established: walk, swim, yoga on my own and one class. Maybe someone needs to hear this: getting in touch with my neglected self and learning to love myself as I am: old, but still pretty smart, stronger physically and wiser. Love and peace ☮️💕
Sending love, hugs ...🙌
Keep on shining your light!!
I’m sorry. Hope u can leave ❤️🩹
@@romanastrasheim5226 thank you 🙏 hug received.
@@PaperKitty99 thank you. Appreciate your support ❤
Oh crikey 😒😢47 yrs...your adrenals..everything including your soul will be utterly exhausted 😔I lasted 28 yrs..massive struggle the latter 8 yrs or so and so trauma bonded kept low contact further 4 yrs..so resulted in 33 yrs now..since 1990 we met..I am still healing so slowly..all areas of my life a mess..but a veil is lifting to become stronger..I have to sort eventually..being triangulated with his Ex before me..they never change..it became extremely traumatic for me..Bless you 🙏 whatever you decide or can decide is best 🙏❤
Good video! I was married to a narcissistic husband for nearly 20years and meanwhile I'm divorced since 9 years. The first two years have been tough but it was always a release! Divorce from the narcissist was my best decision despite all the fears and insecurities. During the time I started new hobbies, met new people I like a lot and had some relationships with men.
Now I'm 61, a happy single and living a peaceful life in freedom. Be brave and take the risk❣
Greetings from Germany 🤗
Going thru Divorce now 2 half years married 13 years one day at a time 😢
Divorcing at 60. I've been exercising and feel so much better.
So glad to hear you're doing better!
I was 58 when I filed for divorce and 5 years later I was divorced and my 12 year old daughter was turned against me. It was such a catch 22 situation ; stay and endure some abuse or leave, and endure less abuse . I do think my daughter was brainwashed against me and even if I stayed her mother gets too much sadistic pleasure out of hurting me and creating chaos.
@@marka.8535 My story is allmost the same .. Its not the figth of your life, its was a figth to stay alive. But it was worth the figth.
@Mark A. the pain of suffering in this type of marriage is so terrible. It makes us physically and mentally ill. Show good character in your life and your daughter will see the good man you are. That was the promise I made myself and so now that he's gone I don't have to hang my head in shame about who I was. Maybe get a picture of yourself as a young person and take care of yourself as you would love that young man and protect him. It's been hobbies I love that have helped me too. My best to you
We have been married for 44 years. From the start, we respected each other's independent nature. We are "project people" who have explored our inner realm from the beginning, and our children, now independent adults, are living their independent dreams. Neither are married, but have stable relationships. Projects are part of our children's lives and satisfaction. Thank the Lord for creative minds! In difficult days there is always a cave to withdraw to. Unlike the gym or the mall, where other narcissists hang out, a cave is less likely to attract such animals! 😁
Three kids and it’s been hard financially but it was the best thing I ever did! I expected to be alone forever and it would still have been so much better than being married to my narc ex! I am now in my mid 50s and I was alone for 6 years. But I have the best new partner and he shows me so much love every day.
I'm happier and I have more peace no more head games and emotional abuse, yippie!😊
I pray for anyone in a relationship with a narcissist. It is draining and will drive you mad, questioning your own sanity. After 2 years of marriage and 2 kids, she brought out her true self. Aside from all the never-ending demands and unhappiness, she counter parents on everything, including faith. I feel so sorry for my young children. I will do my best to raise them right but I can see the damage she is doing already to them. I literally have chest pain as I type this and my body is shutting down. I need to leave so my kids have a father.
I am totally happier divorced. Not perfect but being alone in a relationship is lonelier than actually being alone. I am proud of myself and left at 62.
I left after 40 years of marriage! I’m 59! I left a couple weeks ago. It’s scary but I’m trusting the Lord for my promised land. I have to get a job because I was my husbands caregiver for 35 years because he became paralyzed in a motorcycle accident when we were 23 years old. And of course he could careless and don’t want to help me at all but he has to give me half of everything. I told him that today and boy did that make him mad. SMH!
I’m 61 and divorcing after 37 years. It’s always been abusive, but when our youngest son moved out, the demon really came out. I too have to find a job, but it’s difficult. Been semi-retired since 2020, on my husband’s urging, and I walked right into that trap. How did I figure that it was a trap? He mocked what I make part time then started going through grocery bags yelling at me about buying too much. He even checked the garbage and recycling bins. My neighbor saw him doing this. I’m so tired. 😞. Gob bless you both.
I did....set myself free from a toxic marriage after 27 years... And proud of making it on my own...although he was allways telling me i couldn t survive..😊
Divorcing, cause I knew I was in my prime at 50. Filed and am already happier. Thanks for saying 40-60 is prime!
WhenI my narcissistic ex finally signed the divorce papers I felt a tremendous sense of relief and have experienced more peace than I had ever known before. Happy? My relationship with Christ have grown exponentially. I’d say this is happiness.
I’ve told my narc, (we’ve been married 34 years and I set a boundary 3 1/2 years ago, of sleeping in separate rooms and living separate lives,) but I told him in the Bible, God says not to trust in man, but the trust in him. The Bible also says it’s better not to marry. Apparently he didn’t believe any of that but it shut him up in that moment. He’s so afraid to lose me, because he needs me to uphold his self image he’s created. My auto immune and fibromyalgia has caused me to lose my voice, and my swallowing muscles in my esophagus to not work well together. I’ve been through swallowing rehab & Voice rehab, and recently had a small stroke. I just turned 58. I’m waiting on God to lead me whether to divorce or not but thank God I was able to set that boundary.
That's hard. God bless you in your struggles.
@@mlou7432please leave him! Your health will be restored!
Divorcing at 67 and I’m losing everything but I know that I’m going to be happy from this narcissist husband
15:15 Amen brother !... exactly why I'm divorcing my narcissistic "Christian" husband of 15 years.
And, The stress of living in emotional abuse is MUCH DIFFERENT than the stress of starting new.
It's like comparing the stress of getting a univeristy degree or getting a divorce. DIFFERENT STRESSES
Thank you Kevin for a very wise and realistic analysis and approach to divorce. I got divorced from a narcisistic covertly passive agressive person five years ago and I think I would have died If I hadn’t decided to do it. When you are staying in an abusive narcisistic relationship you are slowly losing everything and I got to a point in which I would have done everything to end that crazy dysfunctional relationship. I had the strength to do it because of my daughter whom I wanted to protect and give her a chance to see that people differ and can live different lives with different values and goals in life and it will be up to her to decide which path seems more suitable for her. I could not live a life of lies and dishonesty any longer and I do not regret it. A day spent in a narcisistic relationship is a day wasted and you pay with your life.
My story is similar. Have woken up every morning since leaving thanking God for setting me free!
Hard for me to even say this but I encourage abused spouses to move out and think very hard about whether you even miss the abuser, whether love is being given, whether you even like the other person and if they are willing to change. If no, then you are free to divorce with no shame, pray and see what God shows you. I wish you peace and joy from a fellow abuse survivor 4 years divorced.
Thank you
I have divorced two. And I don't regret it at all. They were both cheating on me. And that is one thing I cannot deal with. They both tried to take everything that I had. But I moved to a different state and couldn't be happier! And I'm a better mother to my son.
Good that you prioritised your self worth and the environment you'd be bringing your son up in. I'm also happy they didn't get what they wanted. People are scum, man 🤢
I am 60 - And have been divorced nearly a year from a very abusive narcissistic spouse! I do feel I am in my prime, and I did have to choose divorce on my own through much prayer after 2 1/2 years of increased abusive circumstances. I Say thank you Lord that I am delivered from the unrighteous and cruel handed man!
I was married for 45 years to a narcissist. Got out 4 years ago. He had robbed and spent every cent of our retirement monies and if he had his own way back then, he would of left me with nothing. Cost me a fortune for a divorce lawyer but walked out with a paid up house and car. I may be broke financially but it was the best thing I ever did!! Was not going to let him take everything for himself. Went complete no contact immediately and will continue it for a lifetime. Please dont waste the years that I did. There is a life after a narcissist🎉
I'm so happy for you, Debby, & sorry for everything you endured for so long. 44 yrs, here, & 42 of them, married. Well, if you can call 1 way toward him, cheating, lying, & financial ruin, marriage. It helps me to hear there's hope even after so many years. Thanks, for sharing.
Same for me at 62. He stole my teacher retirement 6 months before leaving. Gave up the house so I can buy it back. Have $40,000 left to get set up. 😢House was next door to spying, alienated backstabbing son he turned against me with his lies. Glad to be out!
@@ChickenHawk-f1g These demons have a way of turning family member against family member. Divide and conquer is their plan. Stay strong and independent as you got this!!!! Happy you are finally free!!!!!!!
@@debbylee6329 Thanks!
Left a year ago age 59 when I realised he was fleecing our savings. I had suffered all kinds of abuse and the divorce is dragging out but so worth it I feel a million times better ❤
He hit the nail on the head. Being unable to love because it will come back to bite you is the hardest thing.
I’m ready to be over with this 34 year marriage to a closet gay narcissist. I’m getting geared up for sure. Got some health issues to take care of first. I don’t listen to anyone church related. I listen to people who have been through it.
have you listened to behind the mirror videos. she is very good too. You know Kevin is a Christian! He just doesn't buy the church, religious dogma. I may be wrong though.
It's never too late. I'm eight years behind you. Left a month ago and live in a controlled rent apt. Best decision I made for myself. Wish you nothing but the best❤
@@rascallyrabbitJESUS didn't buy religious stuff either...& HE hates divorce.. but if someone Is cheating on you.& abusing you... HE said we can divorce...
Well done. I was divorced from my husband then came back together. We live as a family now. It was a very good decision for me and my kids. We have a beautiful life minus intimacy and true friendship. It’s more of a partnership. Parts of me died but parts of me are alive. There’s a cost and a benefit to all decisions. Moral of the story, choose wisely the first time around. Choose wisely the first time around. Don’t settle out of fear.
I hear you. It hurts to stay snd it hurts to leave.
Hi, I am considering separation or divorce. I would love to learn more about your situation and why you went back to your husband, so I can maybe learn from it.
YES!!! I divorced my NACR, we're married for 26 years. I truly wished I divorced him years ago!! I'm a lot more happier without him and less stress because they put that on you. l've been single for the last three years, I'm good being single, but look forward to being with a man who Loves God more than me! :)
Thank you your videos have helped alot.. I have been married to a Narcissist for 40 years.. THANK YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me too… for 47.
@@gorunsko31 am so sorry I know how hard it is..
I’m 75 my narc left me 9 months ago I have to start over now
I'm sorry for your pain!. I hope you start over & have the best years you've ever had! Big hugs.
You are never too old to start over. I did it in my 60's, it's hard financially but I do not regret it. My health is better and I am now just finding me. You can do it, just do your best everyday and cry when you need to. God bless you, you are courageous!
Thank you ladies for caring be blessed
It’s a tough process, but it gets better. Wishing you strength and happiness.
Kids or not , divorce then spit on the floor ...
I stayed for 19 years with children because it was the Christian thing to do. If I was an atheist I would have left years ago and started a healthy new life with no abuse. At 50 I now have a fresh start with freedom and Joy. My kids are already seeing the difference being away from the toxicity ❤ Great advice.
I’m leaving, 16 years married. My 3 children are the reason I’ve stayed through this last year of pure hell, because I knew he’d do everything in his power to destroy me by taking them from me.
I’ve said it would’ve been easier to divorce if I wasn’t a Christian, because I wouldn’t have listened to his constant abuse of scripture, telling me God wants him to control me, the Bible says a woman must submit to her husband even if he’s wrong, etc. He refuses to treat me like a human, yet is already making divorce an all out war.
I have been going through something similar. Just stick to what you want the end goal to be. Your kids are going to grow up and have their own lives. They need to see you free from the abuse.
I believe one of the best ways to help someone.. Is to whole heartily actually listen to the person.. just listen.
I'm a giver. I'm not insecure of who i am. But I'm very insecure on who to give it to. I'm very emotional by this video.I'm drained for years. Thank you for your messages. Fear is what hunts me
my marriage was over in my heart before we even left. Been separated and Ive decided to divorce.
To my surprise, when I told my wife of 27 years I was going to divorce her the day she left instead of a great sadness I felt like a huge load was taken off my shoulders! I’m not saying it was a easy process but the sadness I felt while I was married was far worse. This is not to advocate what others should do but simply my experience. 15:15 Thanks for sharing this information!
That’s like continuing drug abuse because getting clean doesn’t guarantee happiness, and everyone else is doing it. Our economy is heavily dependent on people staying married at all costs. People live in so much fear. Separate from the haters, even adult children if needed. Eventually, after they’re alone with the narcissist they will see the light and come back around. The narcissist will find a new victim and they will see.
Question
Where do I start in the process to divorce??
I’m 59 working full time retail
Hubby never put my name on the home and he is retired
I’ve been married 13 years and did not realize how unfeeling and cold and self centered he is until he retired although I can see a ton of red flags after the fact
He wants my paycheck but I don’t give it any more which is confusing him and he keeps asking for it.
@@Oh-happy-day don’t give him any money and go talk to a lawyer asap. Just because his name is on the house doesn’t mean anything. He’d have to sell it and split the equity. Be really sure he doesn’t find out you spoke to a lawyer.
YOU OPEN YOUR OWN BANK ACCOUNT AT A DIFFERENT BANK. START RESEARCHING RENTING ROOMS IN BOARDING HOUSES OR APARTMENT RENTS. RESEARCH FINDING ROOMMATES TO SHARE EXPENSES IN YOUR AREA. REMEMBER TO COLLECT YOUR IMPORTANT PAPERS AND KEEP THEM IN A SAFE PLACE.
@@treelover1050 I really appreciate that you care
I needed that
I did get a new bank account and now he is telling our friends that I owe him
6 measures of psychological well being: 1 - Automony/Self Govt. 2 - Environmental Mastery. 3 - Personal Growth. 4 - Positive relations with others. 5 - Your purpose in Life. 6 - Self Acceptance / Validation.
And, you will feel like crap because you have left a toxic relationship and must now detoxify
Thank you, your work is appreciated. I am married,42yrs, 6 kids. Practicing Catholic. My boundaries have gotten stronger and i do much more self love!
Yes I started healing while still married and developed hobbies and goals I love
Thank for sharing. I am at the fork. Two adult children and two grandkids. Married 47 years, also raised Catholic and believed in marriage 💯 “ until death keeps us apart.” But I had 3 bad falls in period of 18 months. I got injured, I was very vulnerable. The narcissist refused to call 911 while I was in horrific pain from what felt like a fracture of a spine. A day later it was confirmed at Urgent Care ( I made an appointment) it was vertebral compression fracture of L1. I am hunted by his disapproval of my state of vulnerability. It makes me feel unsafe as I will, obviously will continue to age. He is 3 years younger in excellent shape. I am making a desperate attempt to heal from my injuries: I do my PT on my own, but it is emotionally painful how my husband of 47 years offers me no support and makes serious efforts to indulge in all day hiking snd out if town visits. Friends and Trader Joe’s soups were feeding me during 6 weeks of staying in bed. My heart is healing slower than my body. Best wishes.
@@gorunsko31I hope you are well. ❤
I left my narc husband 2 months ago and I am at the crossroads. I’m going on the path of freedom but it is scary.
Should have done it before I was devastated financially!!
I still am atm
This life is so damn hard😢
Learn to see the beautiful you separate from them. I couldn't do it until I listened to 8 hr affirmations to love myself etc while I slept at night. They are free on youtube.
Search: 8hr. Affirmations
then choose your video. Later as you heal do the same with 8hr. Hypnosis for .....
It trained my mind all these loving phrases and then his voice in your head fades.
Yep, it sucks. But there’s still so much beauty out there. Though if someone had told me that right after my divorce, I’d have thought they were crazy.
You are so beautiful, I adore you. Thank you for talking to me that day, and THANK you for this video. Just amazing. Much gratitude!
It's truly painful when people cannot accept anything you have to offer - when nothing from you matters to them. My now deceased father was this way, and I still have living family members who fall in this category. I have since gone no contact with them. When I was in my early 20's, I was in a relationship like this where the man could never accept anything from me, and I had a lot to give. The whole business made me feel very sad, but I kept my interests, friends, and career aspirations in line. It took a few years, but one day I realized that I had let him go. It was a good feeling.
I'm 48 and divorcing after 20 years of marriage. This is so hard, but I just couldn't take the cruel behavior, constant put downs, insults, coming home late and drunk and yelling at me.
I so appreciated your counsel yesterday, Kevin, thank you so much. God bless you, especially for the message that you just gave in this video.
Thank u Kevin
17:30 - 18:20. Gold.
If the risk of losing everything is still more appealing that staying in a marriage where your robbed of expressing yourself…
My narcissist wife got a little too 'friendly' with one of my neighbors and gave me the biblical grounds I needed to call it quits. I have no regrets. The most important thing I came to realize was that the person I fell in love with and married no longer exists... I divorced the monster she became.
Love your new background!! Excellent change ... Great video Kevin, thank you!! God bless you mightily ❤
Great Lighting, Kevin
I find this to be helpful and a very different way. I feel like all the things people are scared to lose. I’ve already lost while married. That’s how you know it’s time to go. I can only gain now.
I have been having difficulties with my marriage for sometimes now but with the help of this Sorceress, I have been able to put my marriage back together.
@caseymuller3480 Her name is Luana Kae Branigan.
whoa, hold your horses. Jesus said to test the spirits for they are not all of God, Jehovah. We have our brain and we have our minds that choose which spirit we will listen to and that mind tells the brain what to do.. Be careful. A sorcerer and sorceress are aligned with the devil in the Bible. Does this person believe that Jesus was raised from the dead and does she obey the Word. Even Satan believes in God but Satan does not obey Jehovah God. But, if you are not a born again believer, forgive my intrusion. She is a voodoo priestess. Truth and lies.
Lmao, the likes on this bot comment. Some people are hopeless, no offence ಠಿ_ಠ
@@jordanferguson2254 whose the bot?
@@rascallyrabbitThank you! You are not intruding! Telling someone the TRUTH is what our HEAVENLY FATHER wants us to do! JESUS is THE ANSWER! Look to HIM! Thank you.❤🙏🏼❤
Thank you for this, yes I divorced my abusive ex, best thing I did. Yes lots of unknowns and emotion but now I have a chance of thriving not just surviving
I’m 37 the narcissist is 62 constantly controls everything but when I speak up I’m silly stupid crazy he can yell but if I do too loud no I’m talking over you sir 😢constantly getting my kids on his side. I gotta start over actually excited I love my kids but what u said is so true I say one day God will show my kids when they are older that I was with their narcissistic dad 😢😮 I kept saying all this is not normal buys food for hisself kids while I’m hungry he always got something to do when I have a interview or something important cause my suv broke down worst thing ever to be without a car and job around a narcissist truly bad
Not being able to nurture my partner because this will be rejected or misunderstood does create a stress. Thank you, Kevin. This is the first time I feel validated about this kind of suffering in the marital situation with the father of my children. I am naturally inclined to hug, or to show interest in “his are you? “ My covert narcissist would not let me greet him and show him the delight about coming home. Looking back I see how he was already preoccupied how he is going to shame about … whatever. Sometimes about children’s toys on the floor of a piece of food that “supposed to be consumed by now!”
Appreciate Kevin’s attention to not only what we don’t get in our relationship with the narcissist but also what do we loose by not being able to deliver love and care. It hurts. It brings also memories of wanting to comfort my mom when she was visibly distressed, and yet being terrified of approaching her with my nurturing gesture. Undelivered love is like a piece of glass in my body… what do you do with it? Trying to nurture myself with less self imposed resistance … for the first time in my life. It can be done.
Taping, yoga, dancing, massage, swimming 😇🤗People who need hugs shall meet people who love hugs
@@ajamrealtv9329 exactly
I cannot wait for the 2 new video topics u mentioned. This topic was poignant too. Thank u for all u do!
48 and Divorcing with same Narcissist for second time. Total of 11 years with the same mental women!! Glad I have family and friends. Completely happy after getting out!!
I am soo soo grateful for the possibility of divorce ! Our grandparents did not have this opportunity. I went through this hell too, but few years afterwards I was born in a new life, I nevere expected.
great topic and explanation. i love the bananas, too.
One of your videos where you mention the effects on the HPA has saved me Thank you. I didn't even know what that was but did the research. I suffer tinitus which I know is created in the stress center of the brain. It has changed and pulses loudly. I concluded that I am deep into stage three. Told her I am divorcing and there were no words only silence. I am so ill now I know why and what I must do to save myself. THANK YOU!
Yes for sure ✔️ 0:00
I am looking at all the advice pieces with million views and hundreds of thousands ... and this is the best!
Daily regular stresses of life are nothing when comparing living with a mentally abusive partner and who thinks his money is his and you have nothing forcing you to beg feel like you have to beg for money for normal expenses... I'm sorry those stresses keep you from sleeping and causes you to build an emotional wall around yourself.. Being free of that..As your life yourself realizes you are no longer oppressed... That gives a lot of joy that will compensate for every day life stresses.
You are right in everything you said. I wish I had this video years ago. I would have stayed married for the sake of my children not getting hurt more than they already were
I think these videos are more effective if watched more than once. I appreciate that you cover a lot of information here from different perspectives.
Holy crap!!! I have never heard this phrase quite like this before and it’s GOLDEN!!! Thanks again my friend, for sharing TRUTH!!!
Phrase: The grass is always greener on the other side until you step into 💩!!!!! 👏👏👏
Beautifully explained 💚
Yes, divorced in 1999. 🎉🎉🎉
Very good video! Exactly what I have been looking for. I've been so stressed out on whether to stay or go, but I am disabled and don't make a lot of money. I could use some suggestions on what to do. Please help!
Check legal aid services, they may/csn give you free information to help you
Go to the human resources in your area. To get help with housing, look into Catholic charities in your area. Try to get food stamps, and money. Tell them what you're going through and look into legal aid for help in filing for a divorce. Or whatever you choose. I hope this helps. God bless!
I am 62yrs and married for 42yrs. Had enough. Decided to leave. He brainwashed my son against me. 😢
So much guidance... after 23 years I have to leave the marriage to survive and use my talents again.
Really glad you have done this Kevin, life with a narc is poor in every area and impacts children as adults too, life is better and richer safer happier for me and my adult son.
I am now in my late sixties and divorced for 10 years running my own home for 13 years
married over 20 years or should I say caged, but now have the life God has for me not
what the narc wants to suck away, yes it takes time and effort but you are worth it and so are the ones you love.
Thank you Kevin 🙏👏💕
If you are beaten and traumatized in a marriage! Divorce is best of course! Your life partner should give you comfort and support and not treat you like their slave !
By far the most useful information I’ve come across thanks
I've been looking for the right words...it is starvation!! Thank you for this insight❤
Very true is better to choose yourself l am so happier now devorced than being in a toxic relationship 😂😂❤❤❤
I am finally going through the divorce process with my soon to be ex husband who is a very dangerous Abusive Malignant Narcissist.
As they used to say in Al-Anon, "When in doubt, don't." If you are a woman with children to raise, don't believe the Pollyanna fairy tales that everything's going to be fine. When times get tough, it will help you get through life if you realize you had taken the time to choose the best of two evils.
Thank you for this video, he kept asking me to go see therapists but I had made my mind up already, I know I made the right decision. :)
Sometimes we just have to go thru an experience to learn, and I'm thankful I didn't waste too much time but still, it's not easy >_>
Kevin please do a video on being rejected everywhere am from a narcissistic family but also society rejects me alot I feel like am such a outcast with no supportive family please am lost I need people around me who uplift me I did the Myer Briggs personality test and I saw am an outcast personality aka infj can you do more videos about social rejection and spirit of rejection?????
I Know Absolutely , Rightly , Surety For Me Is The Thing To Do Is Divorce ! The Narcissist Spouse ( hus ) Is A permanent Pattern .. 🧠 So It Time To Say By , by !
Am I intitle to half his retirement fund after only 7 months of marriage?
Im 34 and single. Is marriage worth it? I dont want to marry a narcissist lol
Check out Professor Sam Vaknin who is the leading authority on personality disorders. He is the one who coined the labels “narcissistic abuse, flying monkeys etc” If you do your research you should be okay. Love is a blessing but we all need to grow and get help before running into the abyss of relationships.
3:50 Damn right.
Stay or go at 70 is a terrifying decision. "Both decisions will look wrong" is absolutely correct.
This is really good
Starvation--YES! And the frustration of not being able to give what I was designed to give.
RE: Chicago. I think the phrase you're looking for is Shit Show
this one resonates with me .. thanks
Throw a quarter in the air and call heads or tails and before it lands, you'll know which one you wished for. A Narcissistic Warrior told you that.
Do you accept international customers?
I just want to ask you a question about “ the beatitudes” Luke 6:29 Jesus is talking about loving your enemies - “ to him who strikes you on the cheek offer him the other also” it seems as if abuse is ok but I find this hard to believe and understand
It means to wish your enemies well, regardless of the fact that they do not do the same. Abraham got away from Lot and his folks when the two camps did not get along. Jesus escaped the Pharisees many times when they were abusive. Getting away from abuse is the message. Wishing your enemies well and praying for them can be done from afar. David ran from Saul, Ruth left her family, have nothing to do with worthless things of darkness the Bible advocates. Even Revelation 18:4 says "get out of her", in other words, get away from bad influence and don't let them affect you. That's love of yourself and your neighbor. Be a good example. Jesus was never pathetic, He was strong and confident. In fact, even Jesus got away from HIS family when they were abusive, and even set his mother straight (not heartless, but to the proper degree) when she crossed the line. So much... therefore... abuse is never ok.
@@matilda4406 well said!
@@matilda4406 thanks Matilda - I know all that - I am totally convince God hates abuse but it’s just the words of Jesus specifically “ when someone strikes you turn the other cheek “etc He is not saying run away - it’s like He is saying “ when they take your coat give your shirt too - give all of yourself and more - I am not in an abusive relationship but o would like to be able to explain this passage in a better note understandable way to others
@@stepheniewright5021 Jesus gave a lot ! But not to abusers. Follow his example. Heap fiery coals on their heads! Let them have what they want, whoever wants to steal your coat, give them your shirt also, they will never be satisfied
Married 28 yrs...little to no physical contact. I have no education or money to leave. Plus I have multiple chronic illnesses
Perfectly said, divorce is awful. As they torture you and lie to the courts. While they are living with mental health and a full blown sex addiction while my son had no insurance.
Gained a new subscriber excellent video.
Thank you 🙏🏾
Powerful empowerment 👍
I am 61 dont have a job and new in the state of UT. I only asked for 15k just to get out of his house.he already has someone els..
How do you know when your wife of 8 years is a vulnerable narcissist? There are so many signs from watching on YT and reading, but she won’t admit to anything as that’s part of it? Or am I wrong, sorry I’m so confused and want to leave but every time I try I get either physically or emotionally blocked from doing so. Any advice welcome
A true narc will never admit to being one. Best is to follow your Godly instinct. God is showing you her real character. Listen to Him! You have to decide what's best for you. Pray on it. If you get to a point where staying is more painful than leaving, leave. Staying might come at a very high cost, you will pay with your life.
Nightmare cannot stand my ex husband to be he has belonged the finance in our divorce plus negotiations with narcissistic is a joke they feel that there above the law. Been apart and going through a divorce with narcissistic is a headache u get to the point when you want to get rid of them
Yes, it’s better, if you can ever get out of it. My narcissist held up the divorce for 5 years.
"Being robbed with the best that you can be"
To become a mother and to be a wife.
❤truth serum. Thank you so much.
I came from poverty. My wife hired me as a low level employee, then a few years later we are married. She's insane. She's also rich. I say "she" becuase she controls the money. Look, I'm 37. Shes 44. She has been gaslighting me for 8 years. She humiliates me. She lies and watches me burn. I have to get out. If I live in a cardboard box, I have to get out. Since I've been married I've been diagnosed with multiple mental illnesses. I learned it was all her fault for what she did to me for almost a decade. I dont know if i can forgive her. (she admittied in therapy, she lies to me every day for years)