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3 Simple Secrets To Become More Mentally Tough
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 3 ก.ค. 2018
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Ever wish certain things didn't bother you as much as they do? Do you ever envy other people who seem to be able to take whatever life has for them and not get too bothered about it either way? Ever wonder what it takes to not be so affected by criticism, failure, hardship or struggle?
In this episode of Good For Me TV, we're going to talk about 3 simple, but powerful ways we can build more mental toughness.
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I've recently discovered your channel. I am living with my fiancee who We believe has depression and anxiety. I am finding your videos not only helpful in understanding her struggles, but also very therapeutic for me as I have been second guessing myself over this for so long. I am hoping to get her to seek help but she refuses so Tonight I am going to suggest she watch your channel. Thank you for all you do. It is greatly appreciated
David, I'm so grateful to hear it. She is lucky to have a husband as caring and supportive as you!
Julia Kristina Counselling
Thank you. Today has been especially hard. I hope she will accept help soon
Hello Julia Kristina, just connected with you and I think you are amazing, You strike me as a great person, a really authentic human being, Your approach to what you do is real, you've thought it through and put it out in your own language, with your own voice and reasoning. Your presentation skills are excellent, and it's a joy to watch and learn from you, keep on trucking..... A top tip, if I may.... Bullet point the key points in a list below, Best wishes George
Mental toughness
Great information! In other words...
How to be more mentally tough
1. Acceptance of what is; adaptability
2. Don’t have expectations
3. Self awareness; Be aware of your feelings...and then let it go
I was a quitter when I was younger. Maturity has helped my stability.
Me too
I would say I was really a sensitive person in my past days. But the day I learn to accept myself totally with my strengths and weakness and face the challenges what ever life throwed at me I became much much stronger person now. and I know I will feel pain , dispointment or whatever life throws at me but I know this also I will squeeze strength out of every challenge.😊
Well put and great insight!
Things dont have to go my way
For me to be OK
Sometimes we have to go with the flow, for the best for me to show😬
Love that!
1. Adaptability
2. Detect from outcome
3. Be bouncy. Know that you will always bounce back
Life will knock us out, thing will go their ways, but not our ways. Don't try to control life, try to enjoy it. Don't just be attached to the outcomes, but get immerse to the process as well. Be ready to feel both the joy of victory and the pain of defeat. And know that we will find ways bounce back.
I have learnt my these lessons the hard ways throughout the years being a more sensitive person. Sometimes I just wish I could travel back in time to save my past self from so much hardships lol.
Someday it's just harder but I will continue to apply these lesson and continue to grow. Thank you so much for this videos.
I have a Teaching degree and MS in Counseling - you are a joy to listen to and understand practical issues! Keep on your purpose Julia,
In roller derby, the coaching staff focused a lot on mental toughness. We would talk a lot about the mental states to be in when you’re in a high speed high stakes jam. How to keep pushing and moving your body when you’re exhausted and afraid of failing. Usually we would do an endurance drill. Skating in a solid skater form and pumping out laps. Soon it becomes this mental challenge to keep your legs moving and to force yourself into a regular breathing pattern. As a larger woman I always fought the urge to give up, so it taught me a lot about my inner voices and how I motivate myself or coddle myself. And slowly, but surely, over time we all saw huge improvements in our mental control. Reading about athletes and mental toughness is a fun rabbit hole.
Anyway, first time viewer. I like your style, Ms. Kristina.
I am holding a Bible on my chest while listening to your precious advices as it's making my raged mind more calm😊
Great video! 🎶🎵🎶 “I get knocked down, but I get up again. Your never ganna keep me down” 🎶🎵🎶 😂
Haha! Yes! Oh Chumbawamba - whatever happened to you? lol
Julia, I want to first say thank you for the wise words, always brilliantly put. And I really want to point out that you not only help women get through their crap but gay men too. I am very thankful to you, your videos feel like a good pat on the shoulder or warm tea with a good friend when I am feeling overwhelmed. Some of us might not have the time or the money to afford good therapy, so you leave me an extraordinary alternative.
My name is Yuri
from Brazil
Best of luck to you.
Yuri, this just filled my heart. Thanks so much for taking the time to say so - and really great to connect with you!
I completely agree, Yuri. Her videos are very helpful!
i agree with you guy. i am also brazilian, gay boy and i think i should go to therapy. however julia's videos are helping a lot.
lifting heavy weights at least once a week. Not sure why but this puts me in a good place.
testosterone boost from the workout probably helps
Thank you! Physical exercise, endurance training, taking long walks in the forest and having one or two really good trustworthy friends helps me!
Love your mantra: things don't have to go my way in order for me to be okay. I can sing and hum that all day long.
Motivational experience based on real life experiences. When you fall down get back up because all problems pray upon your weakness not your strength. . Thank you for sharing
I agree - I'm a lot happier/at peace knowing that I can let go of MY version of how events should unfold and trust that everything will turn out fine.
Yeah I am definitely in a negative thinking pattern when I visit certain family members. I am going to practice letting go of the outcome.
"I have become comfortably numb." --Pink Floyd
5:40 "things don't have to go my way in order for me to be ok", thanks for the advise :)
...I AM numb... Others see me as extreme relaxed, but I am numb.
"Things don't have to go my way, for me to be okay"
Beautiful
Sometimes it helps to feel sorry for the person who knocked me down. It is putting myself above them, not allowing to be stepoed on. I am highly sensitive and intense and this is a coping mechanism for me
I agree Zabeth - it's often beneficial for us to try and have empathy for the person who is trying to put us down because it's usually a sign that they are struggling. Understanding doesn't excuse behaviour, but it can help us respond in more healthy ways rather than reacting in unhealthy ones.
Julia Kristina Counselling thanks for your answer
You are a beautiful woman Julia. Thank you so much for being in my head and understanding. I take your coping strategies seriously. X
DETECTING PATTERNS is KEY for those of us in transition from past harming patterns. WE
need to key into the specific phrases that continue to give us an un-easy gut
reaction. TIP: 1. Make an inventory of these statements. 2. Make it mandatory
to combat this with WORDS TO YOURSELF that are accurate and kind. 3. Create and
recite an affirmation each morning, specific to you, detailing you deserve
happiness. BEST PRACTICES and WISHES to us ALL!
Getting involved in life will give us practice in dealing with problems, also reading about brave people from our past, and how they overcome will help us be more prepared for bad times to come
Self-talk is what a call it. Talking sense to myself!
Your On Point !!
Exactly what my Mother used to Say--- Don't Expect Much--- And You Won't Be
Disappointed !!
Very valuable and practical guidance. It’s like having a life coach which is very generous. I am learning so much from these videos. It’s also growing spiritually to learn how to implement these tools and strategies. Thank you Julia Kristina.
"Things don't have to go my way in order for me to be okay." Yeah, as long as it's not because I'm okay with it going someone else's way because I don't think I deserve for things to go my way.
Good topic.
The hair cut looks good on you.
Thanks Beautiful Dreamer! I had to chop it because so much fell out after having my baby.
i admit, i can be hypersensitive. i think it comes with being a writer. i think and feel more deeply than most. and its easier for me to be empathetic towards others. people have taken advantage of my sensitivity. but i would rather be sensitive, than not feel at all....
Mental toughness vid and advice is amazing. I'm usually quite resilient but found myself in a position of being burnt out from work situation. This knocked me completely... I found myself being critical, moody and mentally drained. Your vid served as a reminder of all the things I need to get back to doing... i liken it to physical exercise... we do it and get fit and healthy but when we stop we become sluggish and feel unhealthy. It's the same with mental and emotional health. Need to pick up and work on it to get healthy again. Thank you
Thank you. When some things don't go my way, wrrr... sometimes difficult to accept it (yes, 'why me?') even though I know 'I'm fine with it'. Happy to be able to recognise it and get out of that place sooner. It helps me to tell myself 'do I want to be there? (in a sad, angry etc place), what do I want instead of what I don't want. And acknowledging that I'm responsible for myself, no one else and it's all about my choice.
Getting back up is the real winner! Thanks for this video, Julia! You look great with your new haircut, btw
I love that one too - and thanks!
Hello! thank you for that, some really good insights in this topic!
Something that truly helps me, and I just talk to my counselor about that today is:
How being able to identify our success helps with our fear of frustration.
when set a goal, and sounds impossible to get, feels like we are not good enough for anything,
but, when we go back and think about all the goals that we already achieved, gives hope and strength to keep going,
because this is a proof that we are able to do stuff, and we are not broken!
I friend of mine told me: "It's about the journey, not the destination, Enjoy the journey!"
I love it - yes!! Taking regular success inventories are so so necessary.
Respect to you.. I love how positive you are.. ta heaps
Respect right back, my friend!
THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME !!
Mental toughness. It’s a skill for sure. As an empath, nurse and also abuse survivor, I disagree that we can’t selectively numb. It’s not so much blocking as it is compartmentalizing. We can’t exactly go around 24/7 feeling our every pain if we are carving out a career, raising kids, building businesses, etc and we can’t exactly go around ignoring them 24/7 either. I stopped to write, process in the time allotted, and then put my stories aside in a notebook for 23 years. I waited until I was 46 to talk about what hurt because society shamed me for wanting to talk about difficult things. I learned to just be quiet about it.
My life has had to be a balance between feeling without allowing it to consume me, and allowing for wallowing when I could. Building mental toughness has come from a mix between thinking and not over-thinking, reflection, comparing similar events to one another, and momentum from getting through one tough thing after another after another. It comes from writing, making goals, being a planner, from going to counseling, seeking out reading material, articles, books, videos, etc for help, from willing to be a beginner, a questioner asker, a doer, an extravagant lounger, a risk taker, caring, not caring, and being a lifelong learner from the biggest test of all: life. It’s refusing to stay down. It’s a decision. A decision many of us who’ve had really difficult and painful experiences have to make daily.
Some days I’m just not strong enough to make that decision anymore without someone or something to help me. This is another season of life and it’s a whole new learning curve for me. I was much stronger and more mentally tough when I was younger and fighting to survive with a child. Being responsible for another human beings development really lights a fire under your ass. Not clinging to outcomes then was not an option for me. I was determined to create my life on purpose.
At 53, I’m a bit tired now. And I’m now learning to detach from the outcome of all the hard work and be more present with the process and make my life my own.
I think I can, I think I can... find my mental tenacity again tomorrow. 🙏🏼 After some rest, I’ll find my bouncy self again. I always do. 💪🏻 - Thanks for the video.
OMG , my day is not complete with out watching your video and listening to your great advice. All those come out from your mouth is my guiding star in my daily life. To think I’m the most stubborn and opinionated person, but you got me this. I need more of your wisdom please. Im thirsty and hunger for a lot more importation in everything in this world. Thanks for feeding my thought to become more wiser and a better new version of me. all i learn from you is my weapon - ready to apply through daily life encounter . Keep up the good work , more blessing to you. I thank you so much!
Hey! You are brilliant! I just tried your link for the mental toughness meditation and it was obsolete. It’s all good I just hope you are still doing what you you do so well. You’ve gotten me through a lot ❤. Thank you so much
Thank you
I am going through AA and this all applies to me. I love your videos!!!
Gratefulness
Thanks Julia Kristina, your teaching helps me understand where I am now. I have been struggling with lot of anxiety because of my way to handle difficulties in life. I was blocked in a quite childish way to see things partly because of the influence of my mother who had trentrum and dramas for small things. Since I started to work on my emotions and my thoughts and implement scales, I am more living in the present now and less in the past because in the process of grieving my mother and my father, I realized that I have a life, it's mine and I'm accountable to myself first. The necessity of flexibility is very important, it goes hand by hand with the capacity to renounced controlling. Have a blessed day and greetings to you and all the community :)
How's this for a mantra? "I don't need to deal with crap. All it does is hold me back!"
falling in love with the process is what connected with me the most, and when you fall get back up and say is that all you got life i am coming back to kick your butt :) Julia you are really something thank you very much
I like how realistic you are you going to feel but it's all how you can channel those feelings.
a very simple method digest and embrace the psalm 91 you will endure all your experiences with ease
Thank you Julia
Definitely being more present and not so tied to the outcome.
Studying Positive Psychology and the science of resilience has helped me much in this area. Penn psychology professor Angela Duckworth's book "Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance" is an excellent example.
Right! I always find a passion...it doesn't even have to be the same one all week or even all day. Right now, I'm pumped up about going to the Friday Night Art Walk. Who knows what kind of great stuff I may see down there? Last few days, I've been having fun painting...strictly experimental...no grand results, but fun. Earlier this week, In was on a riverbed rock collecting kick! Last week, I was a read-a-holic.
Hi Julia your vlogs are life changer. Heaps of respect ✊
Yes, yes and yes. I want to be like that.
Every day I watch your videos, Thanks for share it.
Good tips. For me... to be mentally tough, I force myself not to care... my motto is "he who cares the most loses"
I don’t have expectations of people. Once I stop putting expectations on people, I tend to No be phased by what they do or if I am hurt it rolls of my back easily
Julia I love you Thank you!
Good points, thank you, but I’ve learned the best way for me is trust in God. If things don’t work out the way I had planned then it was the way God planned. I know because when I just relax and let it unfold after something goes wrong it always works out better then what I had planned. I’ve learned to try for what I think is best but if it doesn’t work then God is working.
Getting back up is a great feeling, but it takes a while.
Thanks Julia
Very under-rated channel. Good job coach
Thank you for making this vid.... I've been trying to do all the things as you said in the vid but isn't sure if it's the right/correct way....
But watching this just confirms that I'm on the right track, oh well, need to train more ;w;"
Thank you so much!!
It is so good
to Thankyou
for what you do.
OMG I couldn't help but to giggle at the talk about falling on your face and being bouncy because 2 weeks ago I literally fell on my face. Just walking down the street with my friend on the way to an appointment I trip on literally nothing at all and just fall right over. My ....I keep giggling... my friend said I looked like a wooden board that just fell flat over. But there was a little bit of skid from momentum, ended up with "road rash" on knees, elbows, wrists, chin, and palms. The palms got the worst of it....and I still had that appointment to go to so there I am sitting on the subway looking like I've got stigmata but at least my appointment was a regular appointment at a large hospital so they slapped some band aids on me while I was there. I sure bounced right back from that one! XD XD XD
Hello! I'm also very sensitive and it's easy to kick me out from balance. I noticed the best help is a good food. I'm not talking about overeating. But a good breakfast, full of protein, like eggs, avocado or even porridge is a godsent. I much easier tackle the day regardless what it throws at me when I eat properly. If I start a day with an empty stomach, usually I will buy some sweets, these bring some satisfaction but only for a short time, after I feel downcast, depressed and without energy. Eating cornflakes are also NOT helpful. The best food hands down for making you more resilient is a fish full of omega3 - if you eat it regularly. Tablets just don't do the trick. Try it, you will soon notice a difference. Also physical exercises are helpful.
I really enjoyed this massage, Thank you
Thanks you so much
I'm crying and watching your video.... I'm really very sensitive & emotional 😔
Thank you was great .
Ive fallen on my face so many times that I have decided to let go of the past and to do EVERYTHING in my power to get my life together especially since I had an absent dad that wasnt in my life and that just didnt give a damn and I swear that I will make it happen cuz it was HELL.
Happiness is not about having a nice life but about bouncing back. I have had so many challenges, went through it and bounced back… now I feel invincible… made me very independent… maybe too independent 😂
It's not about how many times you get knocked down, but how many times you get back up. We need good people around us. I heard someone say one time; " The difference between a big shot and a little shot is the big shot kept on shooting. Don't give up.
Just what I needed to hear
You're great, thank you!
In other words we have to be open to options always, it may never be the way we want and thats fine, God is in control is my mantra
Amazing Video
Its time to get mentally strong 💪 Thank you
Sometimes life drags us around by the tail. In the past I went kicking and screaming all the way, but learned that sometimes I could actually end up in a better place despite myself.
I like to think we always wind up in the right place, even if it's not one we wd have chosen. I'm excited about the next new chapter in life's lesson book. When I stay positive, so are the results! I've really learned to laugh at myself...ya jus gotta have fun with it!
I got divorced recently.i took it as a blessing and it became a blessing
This helps a lot. Thank you. I like all of your videos.
Thank you.
Omg you just saved me. Thank you 🙏!!!
Awesome .Brilliant .Thanks. Keep up the good work!!
Love your hair!
Thanks for the video Julia 👍👍
Things don't have to go my way in order to be okay.
Hi Julia, thank you for this video, I love it! Your videos are very insightful and you’re very beautiful and genuine! Thanks again!
Julie I live with epilepsy my whole life and I seiz daliy my mental health gets affected.
My name is hanita azulay you can find me in face book...we can talk if you like.
You speak like true Adlerian , thank so much, where have you been all of my life
Getting back up and dusting myself off. Although, not always easy. Btw loving your hair cut. 💚💕💚
Resilience is HUGE! And thank you!
Siera Day - because our friend has great cheekbones and a kind open face. I think she is great and an inspiration to me as I recover from abuse.
What you are saying regarding flexibility reminds me of a book about survival. In the woods or in the office...all the same. Quickly get used to the new "reality" and you will handle adversity much better.
Thanks.
Loved your thoughts on highly sensitive people! Great way to see sensitivity!! Thanks for your thoughts! Really helped me today. :)
Do you have Google podcast channel? Pls make one. It's easier to listen to while traveling.
Brilliant video. Really helpful.
This is so helpful, thank you so much for making these videos, really
Love your talks and super cute new do young sassy and classy haircut.thank you for the great great knowledge and therapy talks.your talks are building a better self esteem and helping me reclaim my rights and reclaim and empower my life once again and be the stronger version of myself.thank you for all you do.
Thanks!!
Julia, surely sensitivity is a function of intelligence. Those who always feel OK are missing out on something. They fail to "smell the roses" on their journey.
Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10. When you know Jesus, you know that He's got you and hard times build faith. This can take a while for most of us. I have been knocked around a lot in life and looking back at those times and seeing how He had let me go through those things to teach me a lesson or to move me to be where I needed to be. He is faithful in His promises. He loves every single one of us so much that He died for us. If life is beating you down, test Him and trust Him and you will be amazed at what He can do. May God bless you.
Vanessa McKibben Amen to that 🙏
Thank you, great again :-)
Love the videos. Thx!!
Thankyou for such a amazing video . X