This video has changed my opinion of him completely!!! What a cool guy 😎, anyone that learns from their mistakes and changes their life completely has my respect ✊🏿 you go Russell ❤️
His candor and awareness of his own faults makes him relatable. He's not a shaman sitting on a velvet pillow saying "do this, don't do that". His full admission of his own faults makes this real and feel attainable.
I like how he confronts challenging topics and admits his own faults. In the beginning of the video, he mentions how he knows how to ruin a relationship from making mistakes. It's comforting to think that we're not alone in these struggles, and that we can improve if we learn from failure.
@skye yet a shaman feels more distant and "authoritative", just him being the ritualistic leader says enough. This is 1 to 1 talk, straight to the heart and mind.
whenever a relationship ends i often feel like i will never find someone else, hearing russell talk about all of his relationships and how it took him getting to his late 30's/40's to really figure it out reminds me I still have time (after all I'm only 20)
@@koanna3249 yeah being a woman obviously makes a difference men and women dont love in the same way, a woman offers you her love and if you accept as a man then you become the caretaker of her love, at this point it becomes your job to keep her love cultivated and nourished by any means. to take on this responsibility as a man you have to think a woman has shown enough value to you and is important enough to warrant that type of investment in your time and energy.
In the honeymoon phase, your wont and dont want to see the flaws of your partner.. with time, you will realize them more and more and thats where real love comes in to play. If you can make the step to be accepting and loving towards their flaws and personal development; if you stop holding on to the image you had from the partner in the honeymoon phase, thats real love!
@@ziyanlau7680 true! You repell them, because they don't allign with your current self and after accepting them in your partner you find out they might actually be something good
This took me YEARS to figure out. I stayed in a relationship for 4 years because I was hoping they would return back to the person they were when we first started dating. One thing about the honeymoon phase is, when it’s gone, and the person really shows you who they are, believe it because that’s truly at their core and essence them. Everyone wants to put up a good front in the beginning because their scared of you seeing that they are flawed human beings and only put their best self forward. If they are worth it, stay and let them know with utmost certainty that you are in it for the long haul and loving them means loving their flaws. If they are not, love yourself by getting out and telling yourself you won’t accept anything but the best for yourself. Real love is loving yourself and loving others who show you they have nothing but love for you.
"Neurosis is defined by doubt, psychosis is defined by certainty." This reminds me of what Rollo May says in The Courage to Create [super recommended book]: "Commitment is healthiest when it is not without doubt but in spite of doubt."
@@lulamax7942 embrace yourself, both your strengths and weaknesses. Recognize and be aware of your weaknesses and work on improving them, it's all one can do
"Looking after yourself well" This cannot be stated enough how key this is. It's really important to constantly practice and grow awareness and let go of things like addiction, bad company, alcohol or drugs.
Tao is simple if you become the complexity of life you make it simple Your way weighed isnt' your real way If you know you don't know if you don't know you know - you make an effort and you work against yourself Control others and your unnecessary when things become extreme we have to do something about it Respect your enemies and if you have to do as they do To be yourself Being is born from non-being you cannot fool the mind make no effort to be
"If you don't have a shared vision, compatibility, or can't find a frequency that you can both live on, accept that the relationship will not succeed." The hardest thing for me was, should I keep trying, or walk away? Finally, walking away was my breakthrough moment. Thanks, Russell, this was a good one.
@@jayoneill3751 You have a point there. But I guess shows like Stephen Colbert's Late Night Show, for example, fulfill that task very well. And I reckon Russell has realized this. Therefore, I guess, he might see more value in spending time and focus on personal growth than social criticism.
@@SirClaymore94 No offence but you're stupid if you think you'll get anything credible from a massive earner like colbert who is more than thriving in the status quo Elites love him cuz he's one of them and dumb people love him because they think hes investigating for them Oh and there could be no more "personal growth" than being someone who opens others' eyes to whats actually wrong and right with the world
@@SirClaymore94 here's a nug of info for you The Democratic Party and the Republican Party are two corporate-owned, war mongering gangs. They do not care about peoples rights or the constitution Clinton, bush, obama, trump: it's all the same Are you american? Vote any 3rd party that suits your political morals. a vote for the Dems or Repubs is a vote for corruption Thats the truth And you won't hear that on Colbert Think before you comment something silly next time.
In fear of loosing harmony and the relationship I tried to control my partner. I recognised that I was wrong. In need of feeling fulfilled I made my partner responsible for how I feel. I I realised that I was wrong.
I just took some notes because I found his advice very helpful: Have a shared vision Have a nurturing and encouraging attitude Don't think it's your partner job to make you feel good You are like Tltwo trees growing next to each other. Love can be a tornado of feelings it's hard sometimes to handle them all. Don't control the other person or try to control them Don't criticize them Don't make them feel like they are responsible for your feelings Let them be their true self Don't impede their friendships and other relationships Don't impede any needs that they require Don't criticize and control their pursuits Focus on your own spirituality Stay aware and awake How can I encourage them? How can I advise, council or serve them? Let go of any idea of controlling or inhibiting that person. Don't Unconsciously groom them to meet your needs🤯 Not feeling safe in relationships/fear can make someone become controlling. 🤯 Let people be who you are. Be your authentic self, if you are, you can't fail a relationship that is meant to be successful Continually communicate. The other person isn't responsible for how their behaviors make you feel. "I live in this relationship, therefore I need to behave very well in it." woah!! Your intention is for the best outcome for that person not the best outcome for yourself.
By golly, I think you've got it! When we know better we do better but only if we practice doing better. If we want to learn & be good at something, whether it's yoga, cooking, or relationship, we must practice practice practice.
This man is the living example of how personal and spiritual development can change a person from being dispiteful to being a GURU. I USED TO HATE HIM, couldn't stand him, now I just can not seem to stay away from listening to his videos every week. He has done such a good job working on this issues, that really inspires me. Such an awesome and wholesome human being.
Beautifully said. What happens when one works at being that person, but their partner or spouse is closed off emotionally, physically and spiritually within themself.
Remarkable timing. Even though you don't know me, I haven't contacted you, and you're speaking to a broad audience, I feel like if I asked for your advice right now, this is what you would have said. I've just had the most important relationship in my life fail on me after years due to my OCD. Fortunately, we've ended it with love and dignity and without animosity, but the pain is intense and enormous and I've got to keep this in mind if I ever happen to be in a relationship again.
Bless you P.T for your humility and insight. You are half way there into scoring a partner who is working on themselves too.Its a natural lore, foremost look inward then the outward will manifest in attracting that which shows us our growth or deficits. Blessings to you.
I feel like this advice is gold especially about making sure you keep yourself emotionally / spiritually sustained and that you wish for the best for the other person always as well.
What a great video. It's really sad to me that we grow up with this attachment trauma issue and all of these mixed messages on what it's like to be in a relationship. I liked the analogy of the two trees growing next to each other. I would imagine that the trees are connected but still have the ability to grow on their own. unfortunately it seems like we have to make these love mistakes for us before we can really learn how to love ourselves and love another in a great relationship.
You said it! IMO, true love can only be experienced when one has experienced true love. All the mistakes I made in my relationships and 2 marriages only made me a better person. Today, I am a wife to a wonderful, loving man. I am content. I am happy. We share our lives yet enjoy separate interests and insecurity is all but gone. I never thought I would be here. I thank God for allowing me to make the mistakes I made because it brought me to real, true, love. I wish the same for you and yours.
I don’t think so. If you have the right parents and community then it doesn’t have to be like this. Why does everyone want to normalize how degenerate delusional and downright fucked up modern society is!
He nails it so easily Because he lived it experienced it He isn't just an 'ECHO' echoing a book, a teaching, a course another's experience It's why therepy/Therapists fail & cause more harm not healings because they haven't had any actual experience of what they're teaching/preaching Russell is Completely different comes from a KNOWING a Knowledge of experiencing the Experience 🤔🙌💖
2:33 I’ve also tried to control others in past relationship. I now realize, I’m in control as long as I’m in control physically, Mentally, and spirituality. I think that’s one of the key points here.
I feel mesmerised, healed, enlightened, educated, intrigued, grateful, lost in the moment for each video I watch of Russell especially with relationships & spirituality. This man is surely becoming my guru, although our own teacher is within us it is also people like him & Echkart. Thank you 🙏 🌺🥰🧘♀️✨
1. Look after yourself well 2. Try not to control that person 3. Communicate honestly and openly 4. Your intention is for the best outcome for them, not always for yourself
Yes. Well expressed. I nearly cried thinking about a friend that needs this. She's simply not capable right now. I tried to explain this very thing to her 2 weeks ago and she was overwhelming perplexed. She's convinced it is a partner's responsibility to MAKE their partner a "better" person.
In my experience, a "healthy" relationship is the practice of emotionally hurting each other by being true to who you are! Extreme self acceptance and self responsibility while also accepting your partner for all versions of them. The practice of hurting and repairing, we are different and its not his responsibility to meet my needs, its mine 🙏😊
@@bardo677 Interesting. Maybe you want to be needed, but sometimes you resent having to "be at your post" at all times. Don't be hard on yourself. We have been grossly misled about what a loving relationship is. And just so you know, women have these same problems.
Sitting and watching a 9 min vid on youtube you might usually expect to come away with one simple idea, but Russel doesn't add filler. He's got what he wants to share with you and it's informationally nutritious. It's directional and focussed, and networked with other deeper concepts. The purpose is communication not merely creation or repetition without meaning. Thanks Russell.
The first and only relationship we should care about is with ourselves. And then all of the other ones... and most of us are so not in touch with our own reality and experience on this planet, that we can truly mess it up for whoever is with us too. When you know yourself, everything else becomes easier. At least that's how I see it. Great vid. ❤
BUT finding out who you are in this world involves relating to fellow humans. There is no "in" without an "out". Therefore, ruining a relationship is very important as a step to knowing how to maintain a healthy one.
@@medicalinterest9091 for me... all the answers are within. And knowing that controls how you relate to others. We all evolve. We all get clearer. With time.
The title is Brilliant! It got my attention, and the monologue went way deeper than I was expecting or was planning to dedicate as much time toward! And I’m glad I did. The whole thing was so on point, but to hear so much truth in such a short span of time was unbelievable! Bravo! Congratulations on a job well done!
I've got to be honest, I don't really recognize any of the things Russell say's here. I've been married for 40 years to my best friend, I don't own her, I do respect her, I don't take her for granted. When we have a disagreement, we talk about the thing we are disagreeing on, and never call each other bad names. I guess we've been doing something right?
@@charlmorkel3490, I can only say that you know, or should know, that this experience of life is a brief one. If you feel that this Lady is worth the wait, then wait for her, if you feel she is not worth the wait, then don't. Only you can decide that, and only you can decide how much of your brief time here is worth investing in the process of waiting for this Lady, or waiting for anything else for that matter.
You both are very healthy people. I assume, you both come from healthy family of origin, or not. Addictive type of people have many issues like this but I think Russel with his intelligence and open mind was able to deal with all stuff on time.
He’s an old soul, he brings wisdom, and we can all grow and benefit from his teachings, he is love, he is kind, he is nurturing and yes, like the father we all needed and still really want. He taught me so much today. Tyyy, my mentor.🙏🏼
Can't thank you enough Russell! Won't say the reason I had to watch this (a second time this month) in case she sees how fragile my ego is and how impatient I am. Was not far from throwing away possibly the most healthy relationship ever just because I was having a tantrum.
I like those clear, doable guidelines. Hopefully my past experiences have built enough resilience and developed real commitment to have an ongoing transformative life no matter what comes my way
Present awareness is the key with pain though, well and practice....my soon to be wife had a turbulent childhood, the way we've grown together in part is my acceptance of that happening to her and listening / not trying to fix that, but also doing my best in the present for her. It balances out :)
These videos help me a lot... I’ve had issues with relationships due to my childhood.. I understand my faults but sometimes feel, why am I not good enough for them to stay but then I think why I feel that way and think back.. Unknowingly I’ve tried to be with the wrong people to understand how relationships work but it’s not until now I realise how good a relationship is with the right person when you work together rather than one sided. May not work the 1st or 4th time with someone but the right person it’s truly amazing 💓
It has been one of my best lessons not to place unreasonable expectations on others. If someone doesn’t want to cooperate in tandem to improve and enjoy our partnership, then its sianora! Life is too short to spend time in heartache and other miseries.
Jessica DePue very true! But I’ve only learn this now.. had a lot of trauma in my life and accepted poor behaviour deeming it normal. Onwards and upwards x
Nikki Dodd Oh my goodness, when I consider times in my life I have spent tolerating things that were intolerable, I get mad! Lol! But that is how we learn. X
I have so much respect for the frankness. You speak about your inner life, your soul path without hesitation. That helps people understanding their issues and/or reassures them on their path. Thank you for beeing fearless. For beeing brave.
This changed my perspective on everything. The yearning is just in our nature, perhaps as addicts or perhaps as humans. I really need a spiritual outlet. Wow.
You don't f### a relationship up when you actually care for and truly love the other person because then you will want the best for that person.... I'm glad your so open and honest with your wife... Not many are.
Same, just gone through a break up today. Seeking solace and found more through his wise words. Bring awareness to oneself and live your authentic self. Its hard but I need to bring myself to this place of acceptance.
Stay aware and awake. Not zoning out or ruminating about the past or future. Staying in the present and asking your self how can I be of service to this person. OMG I needed to hear this! I can apply this in everything I do! Thank you for this message!!🥰🙏💓
I am very neurotic and for the longest time I felt hopeless. I recently realized that there is nothing stopping me from changing, but myself. I lost the connection to spirituality and ever since then things went downhill. I was fully immersed in the material and the mundane, and it was like being underwater, drowning in my own anxiety and depression. Not being able to see the horizon. You're right in the sense that we should take a step back and observe ourselves in the present moment. I can only hope that being present will get easier in time.
I really needed to hear this and am trying to take on board what applies (most of it does). I am in a long term relationship with a partner with severe depression and anxiety (which he won't seek help for) so I am constantly trying to find that balance between knowing where to draw the line but also remaining responsible for my own happiness and wellbeing.
It's difficult, but he should really seek some professional help, for himself, and for you. It can really help the relationship grow, he will learn a lot but ofc you can not force it :( . I hope in time it gets better!
Thanks for that Russell - so helpful. We do recover.. your experience shines through, and that was a very compassionate look at the relationship thing - 'I live in it' so better make it a good place to live then isn't it..I am four years in and the thought of a relationship terrifies me but also that old longing isn't going to be satisfied by anything else and will happen ..and thank God for all the wonderful people I've met and friends I've made through being clean and sober ..one thing leads to another I hope ..keep on truckin'
I don't think it's dumbly if you're watching and listening this and thinking about your life in more meaningful way? But those other times yes, we are dummies 😅
I really miss and need this level of intelligence in my life 🤦🏻♀️ A LOT of people need to see this video, every single day, because most people don’t retain very much and this is something I’ve been observing for years. I think this message, if really reflected on and absorbed by most people, could save so much time and pain for so many people ☺️
Russell! I've been a fan of yours since the MTV days, it's amazing to see how far you've come, you are one of the few people who inspired me to quit drugs and get my life together. 3 years clean, for the most part... Big love and respect, keep it up!!
Just finished a personal development and growth course , the best thing I’ve ever done , I thought I was self aware and living in the moment but I wasn’t !!! Best thing I’ve ever done , highly recommend it ! Thought it was going to be airy fairy and over the top but was the total opposite, now I have my little tool box I can go to . Everyone needs to do this in my opinion. ❤️
1.) make sure that you look good after yourself 2.) don‘t try to control that person 3.) often and open communications 4.) always for their best outcome
You have the least idea of how much you’re videos impact me. I don’t ever comment on any video but I would like you to know how much these bits help me. Thank you Russell. I appreciate all you do. Truly, thank you.
I love this! The last 2 minutes were the most impactful. I had never listened to his motivational talks till today and I've been enjoying the wisdom bombs but mostly, that he's talking like it's really an actual person and not a memorized speech
Perhaps ruining a relationship is the relationship, it really depends on how you define a good relationship. A good relationship is what works for you and the other person, it has nothing to do with defined values or convention.
Ive thought that letting my husband be his own person was enough- a lot compared to people around me. But I don’t ask myself “how can i be of service and support? ” But i do that at the beginning of relationships. Maybe what’s changed is me, and yes, that is what i can and should control. I really love how much i learn watching this videos.
I'm guilty of this myself, I've let a wonderful relationship with someone that cared for me run down the drain because I was so self-absorbed and infantile. At the time I thought I was unhappy in the relationship because I've let their dynamic become more of a parent than a lover, but now I know I was only unhappy with myself. Thanks to wonderful people like Russell that ignited my spark of introspection, I'm determined to never let this happen ever again.
I feel like this advice would have made my old relationship alot better. It would have gotten me out of my head and stop the overthinking a bit. It wouldnt have made the relationship work, but it may have been better and ended on a better note. Shame I didnt see this or something like this back then.
Glad you are awake and aware. Please remember we are here to love while caring for and about each other. Someone once told me “ never go anywhere alone , where your husband would not also be welcome”. It seemed good advice however I am divorced from him, witch is good. Thank you, working to be readying for a new love..
This really hit me differently because it not only made me look into retrospect how I am with my girlfriend and how I really need to change, but how I am at work. Thank you so much for posting this video, honestly things like this really makes me really what I can do for change that will make things better for others
Real talk! I have taken several years off from relationships in order to find myself and work through highs and lows in order to learn how to accept my emotions because I have no one to blame. I also have learned how to be silent and observe things in order to understand before acting. One day whenever my person comes along, I will be able to truly give him love, attention, and respect. I'll be able to communicate openly and truly talk things through.
Dude, this is SO ON POINT! I have such respect for you.. your talks are so blunt and to the point.. your brutally honest approach is phenomenal.. but, the best way to teach/ share wisdom is by experience.. cheers to your sobriety. Stay awesome Sir.
Russell with that universal timing once again, he has this magical ability to know the subjects we need to hear when we need to hear them! 21K likes.. 12 Dislikes.. 2121
Great video. Spot on. Thanks for your willingness to be truthful and authentic. Very refreshing. “What can I do for this person I’m in relationship with….” “Let go of any idea of controlling that person….” “Let people be who they are…” 🙏🏻💕🙏🏻
What if you’ve done everything you can to help the relationship work but the other half isn’t doing their bit. A lot of people are controlling is it best to walk away? If I stay I’ll be the one trying to control them by making them less controlling, catch 22
If you are in a relationship and you have communicated your concerns or needs and they are still not dealt with or respected then your choice is to either let go of your concerns/needs or let go of the relationship. My experience is that you can’t change others but we can all change ourselves.
Wow you’re truly a great teacher, it’s so much fun to witness how much work you’ve done to be able to be the cool vulnerable person who mesmerizes so many of us. I wish you had a 15 year old son like i do - and you could help me untangle THAT relationship! Thank you, Sir. Really
Yes, I wish I knew this stuff when I was a teenager. Now I know it, I tend to terminate a budding relationship that is headed towards basic incompatibility in objectives. These days, if a potential partner asks "Why do you have to analyse everything?" That's the terminator. Some people are born to fight against waking up.
It doesn't just apply to romantic relationships, it's all relationships in every part of your life, your parents, your siblings, your friends, teachers, bosses, etc.
I like the concept of the relationship as the home. My relationship is going on 14 years this year, and we both grew up together and made a lot of mistakes with each other. I was consumed by my partner's feelings and needs at one point where I felt controlled, and I'm big enough to admit I had my own schemes of control. Now I have asks. My partner has asks. We have expectations on the table that are spoken to make our home we've built together run smoothly enough. We make plans together, and sometimes purposely apart where we have both memories and stories to share. For a while, I was really unsure we could last because we are very different people with different interests and even some difference in values. There will always be sticking points that reignite perpetual arguments over these differences, but for me, this thing we built is more important. We both have a strong sense of humor and have gotten better over the years at reading each other not as lukewarm allies who could prepare for war at any second, but of fallible companions with trust and love who deserve peace and forgiveness.
Being in a new relationship is like buying a new toy. It’s fun at first but then you struggle to remember how badly you desired that toy at first sight.
Byron Katy has as good one on those lines when she talks to a bloke trying to live with his fundamentalist religious family - might be inside her loving what is audio book.
This message came to me at the exact right time in my life. Thanks Russell it's been a very challenging time in my life and this message just hit home. Synchronicity is real.
![ปฏิเสธไม่ไหว (Crush on you) - LIPTA feat. No One Else [Official MV]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/NBw1jF342vw/mqdefault.jpg)
I love how hes so direct it's almost as if hes sitting in a room with you and telling you all this one on one in person
😭🤍
This video has changed my opinion of him completely!!! What a cool guy 😎, anyone that learns from their mistakes and changes their life completely has my respect ✊🏿 you go Russell ❤️
in person through your monitor :P get up after and walk around and give your eyes a break haha
This is one of my favorite videos you have done. Excellent info.
I agree, he is willing to learn from his experience. He is an honest self reflecting person.
His candor and awareness of his own faults makes him relatable. He's not a shaman sitting on a velvet pillow saying "do this, don't do that". His full admission of his own faults makes this real and feel attainable.
WHOSAID TGATTTTT;!!??
Love Russell. So honest and self aware.
I like how he confronts challenging topics and admits his own faults. In the beginning of the video, he mentions how he knows how to ruin a relationship from making mistakes. It's comforting to think that we're not alone in these struggles, and that we can improve if we learn from failure.
@skye yet a shaman feels more distant and "authoritative", just him being the ritualistic leader says enough. This is 1 to 1 talk, straight to the heart and mind.
You´re like an extra dad for the entire planet.
Loli
Check out Jordan b Peterson. He truly is
I feel like more a cooler older cousin than a dad but I agree
Check . That's exactly how I lost my wife...FUCK!!!!!!!!
Him and Jordan Peterson
As someone who cant afford therapy these introspective chats have been quite helpful in positive forward thought.
TMS works! Medicaid even covers
Sorry to hear that, but it's a good step that you are aware of it. =)
Same for me!
@@jennifermoravek4648 TMS saved my fucking life....wish everyone knew about it and was open to it. It's mind blowing.
@@JorJorBinksss Explain please.
90% relationships fail because you have unspoken about expectations on each other, and score keeping. The two big resentment pillars.
Yes...a very eye-opening revelation, that one.
Very profound statement
My last one fell out because of the blame game... You did this, well YOU did this!
Very well said
Yes! You are spot on here.
whenever a relationship ends i often feel like i will never find someone else, hearing russell talk about all of his relationships and how it took him getting to his late 30's/40's to really figure it out reminds me I still have time (after all I'm only 20)
Why don’t you come on over, Valerie?
Hello
@@koanna3249 yeah being a woman obviously makes a difference men and women dont love in the same way, a woman offers you her love and if you accept as a man then you become the caretaker of her love, at this point it becomes your job to keep her love cultivated and nourished by any means. to take on this responsibility as a man you have to think a woman has shown enough value to you and is important enough to warrant that type of investment in your time and energy.
how can you say this being so young 😂 you have your best years in front of you and indeed have time. Be positive and you will find the right person :)
You may have an anxious attachment to people , maybe look into that and work to being more secure.
In the honeymoon phase, your wont and dont want to see the flaws of your partner.. with time, you will realize them more and more and thats where real love comes in to play. If you can make the step to be accepting and loving towards their flaws and personal development; if you stop holding on to the image you had from the partner in the honeymoon phase, thats real love!
True perfection has to be imperfect 😘
@@return2innocence221 no. Reality is harsh
And eventually the 'flaws' are not flaws but exactly what you needed to grow.
@@ziyanlau7680 true! You repell them, because they don't allign with your current self and after accepting them in your partner you find out they might actually be something good
This took me YEARS to figure out. I stayed in a relationship for 4 years because I was hoping they would return back to the person they were when we first started dating. One thing about the honeymoon phase is, when it’s gone, and the person really shows you who they are, believe it because that’s truly at their core and essence them. Everyone wants to put up a good front in the beginning because their scared of you seeing that they are flawed human beings and only put their best self forward. If they are worth it, stay and let them know with utmost certainty that you are in it for the long haul and loving them means loving their flaws. If they are not, love yourself by getting out and telling yourself you won’t accept anything but the best for yourself. Real love is loving yourself and loving others who show you they have nothing but love for you.
"Neurosis is defined by doubt, psychosis is defined by certainty." This reminds me of what Rollo May says in The Courage to Create [super recommended book]: "Commitment is healthiest when it is not without doubt but in spite of doubt."
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👻🙆♂️😅🙌I love it... "I'm doing it"
"You don't want to be in either them crazy states...🥰
Love is the law..share Rahs word...Jah
Love is law, love under will - aleister Crowley
Self-love is the foundation for the best relationships! It solves so many of the insecurities we may have
Amen!
If you don't love yourself how can you Love anyone else... And how can someone love you.
How do u find self love?
@@lulamax7942 By complimenting yourself. You're a great cook... Listener. Friend. 😉
@@lulamax7942 embrace yourself, both your strengths and weaknesses.
Recognize and be aware of your weaknesses and work on improving them, it's all one can do
"Looking after yourself well"
This cannot be stated enough how key this is.
It's really important to constantly practice and grow awareness and let go of things like addiction, bad company, alcohol or drugs.
True Story 💖
I'm an expert level at this.
And by "this" I mean ruining relationships.
LOL
Tao is simple if you become the complexity of life you make it simple Your way weighed isnt' your real way If you know you don't know if you don't know you know - you make an effort and you work against yourself Control others and your unnecessary when things become extreme we have to do something about it Respect your enemies and if you have to do as they do To be yourself Being is born from non-being you cannot fool the mind make no effort to be
😂😩
Lord Toxiferous, is that you?
It's easiest to ego-lessly walk away.
This is THEE FIRST relationship advice video ive seen...from someone who is MARRIED. I dont understand single people trying to do the same
100% True!!!
Quito-Ecuador
2021
"If you don't have a shared vision, compatibility, or can't find a frequency that you can both live on, accept that the relationship will not succeed." The hardest thing for me was, should I keep trying, or walk away? Finally, walking away was my breakthrough moment. Thanks, Russell, this was a good one.
The amount of positive aura this man has can be felt through my phone screen.
Very true. He is very different from what he used to be.
I'm going through such an incredibly hard break up where I made so many poor decisions. This video is saving my soul. Thank you Russell.
Hope you've come through the other side much more stronger and resilient. I'm deep in those woes right now.. what a journey. 🙃
Me too 😭
Very helpful advice. And I'm always surprised at how Russell manages to talk to the camera as if talking to a person one on one!
Why doesnt he just stArt doing The Trews again
The world needs a trust worthy weekly news review
@@jayoneill3751 You have a point there. But I guess shows like Stephen Colbert's Late Night Show, for example, fulfill that task very well. And I reckon Russell has realized this. Therefore, I guess, he might see more value in spending time and focus on personal growth than social criticism.
@@SirClaymore94 stephen colbert ?
You trust a word he says ?
Wake up man
@@SirClaymore94
No offence but you're stupid if you think you'll get anything credible from a massive earner like colbert who is more than thriving in the status quo
Elites love him cuz he's one of them and dumb people love him because they think hes investigating for them
Oh and there could be no more "personal growth" than being someone who opens others' eyes to whats actually wrong and right with the world
@@SirClaymore94 here's a nug of info for you
The Democratic Party and the Republican Party are two corporate-owned, war mongering gangs.
They do not care about peoples rights or the constitution
Clinton, bush, obama, trump: it's all the same
Are you american?
Vote any 3rd party that suits your political morals.
a vote for the Dems or Repubs is a vote for corruption
Thats the truth
And you won't hear that on Colbert
Think before you comment something silly next time.
In fear of loosing harmony and the relationship I tried to control my partner. I recognised that I was wrong.
In need of feeling fulfilled I made my partner responsible for how I feel. I I realised that I was wrong.
Self-reflection & acknowledgement is the first step to change. You're better off than most.
I just took some notes because I found his advice very helpful:
Have a shared vision
Have a nurturing and encouraging attitude
Don't think it's your partner job to make you feel good
You are like Tltwo trees growing next to each other.
Love can be a tornado of feelings it's hard sometimes to handle them all.
Don't control the other person or try to control them
Don't criticize them
Don't make them feel like they are responsible for your feelings
Let them be their true self
Don't impede their friendships and other relationships
Don't impede any needs that they require
Don't criticize and control their pursuits
Focus on your own spirituality
Stay aware and awake
How can I encourage them?
How can I advise, council or serve them?
Let go of any idea of controlling or inhibiting that person. Don't Unconsciously groom them to meet your needs🤯
Not feeling safe in relationships/fear can make someone become controlling. 🤯
Let people be who you are.
Be your authentic self, if you are, you can't fail a relationship that is meant to be successful
Continually communicate.
The other person isn't responsible for how their behaviors make you feel.
"I live in this relationship, therefore I need to behave very well in it." woah!!
Your intention is for the best outcome for that person not the best outcome for yourself.
ou>r> me
By golly, I think you've got it!
When we know better we do better but only if we practice doing better. If we want to learn & be good at something, whether it's yoga, cooking, or relationship, we must practice practice practice.
Preach oh enlightened one
This man is the living example of how personal and spiritual development can change a person from being dispiteful to being a GURU. I USED TO HATE HIM, couldn't stand him, now I just can not seem to stay away from listening to his videos every week. He has done such a good job working on this issues, that really inspires me. Such an awesome and wholesome human being.
Beautifully said. What happens when one works at being that person, but their partner or spouse is closed off emotionally, physically and spiritually within themself.
Remarkable timing. Even though you don't know me, I haven't contacted you, and you're speaking to a broad audience, I feel like if I asked for your advice right now, this is what you would have said. I've just had the most important relationship in my life fail on me after years due to my OCD. Fortunately, we've ended it with love and dignity and without animosity, but the pain is intense and enormous and I've got to keep this in mind if I ever happen to be in a relationship again.
Bless you P.T for your humility and insight. You are half way there into scoring a partner who is working on themselves too.Its a natural lore, foremost look inward then the outward will manifest in attracting that which shows us our growth or deficits. Blessings to you.
Hope you are doing better even if the pain remains.
I feel like this advice is gold especially about making sure you keep yourself emotionally / spiritually sustained and that you wish for the best for the other person always as well.
What a great video. It's really sad to me that we grow up with this attachment trauma issue and all of these mixed messages on what it's like to be in a relationship. I liked the analogy of the two trees growing next to each other. I would imagine that the trees are connected but still have the ability to grow on their own. unfortunately it seems like we have to make these love mistakes for us before we can really learn how to love ourselves and love another in a great relationship.
You said it! IMO, true love can only be experienced when one has experienced true love. All the mistakes I made in my relationships and 2 marriages only made me a better person. Today, I am a wife to a wonderful, loving man. I am content. I am happy. We share our lives yet enjoy separate interests and insecurity is all but gone. I never thought I would be here. I thank God for allowing me to make the mistakes I made because it brought me to real, true, love. I wish the same for you and yours.
Unbelievable this amazing
I don’t think so. If you have the right parents and community then it doesn’t have to be like this. Why does everyone want to normalize how degenerate delusional and downright fucked up modern society is!
He nails it so easily
Because he lived it experienced it
He isn't just an 'ECHO' echoing a book, a teaching, a course another's experience
It's why therepy/Therapists fail & cause more harm not healings because they haven't had any actual experience of what they're teaching/preaching
Russell is Completely different comes from a KNOWING a Knowledge of experiencing the Experience 🤔🙌💖
His book on addiction is very good. This guy is off the charts intelligent. I’m listening and reading and learning. Thank you Russell.
HTTP 404 error........
Relationship not found
I've been seeing this a lot 😂
💀
2:33 I’ve also tried to control others in past relationship. I now realize, I’m in control as long as I’m in control physically, Mentally, and spirituality. I think that’s one of the key points here.
I feel mesmerised, healed, enlightened, educated, intrigued, grateful, lost in the moment for each video I watch of Russell especially with relationships & spirituality. This man is surely becoming my guru, although our own teacher is within us it is also people like him & Echkart. Thank you 🙏 🌺🥰🧘♀️✨
1. Look after yourself well
2. Try not to control that person
3. Communicate honestly and openly
4. Your intention is for the best outcome for them, not always for yourself
Yes. Well expressed. I nearly cried thinking about a friend that needs this. She's simply not capable right now. I tried to explain this very thing to her 2 weeks ago and she was overwhelming perplexed. She's convinced it is a partner's responsibility to MAKE their partner a "better" person.
In my experience, a "healthy" relationship is the practice of emotionally hurting each other by being true to who you are! Extreme self acceptance and self responsibility while also accepting your partner for all versions of them. The practice of hurting and repairing, we are different and its not his responsibility to meet my needs, its mine 🙏😊
Hello Jess how are you doing today ?
I love it when he said "unconsciously grooming them to be a certain way"
Only Russell can get away with putting those words together 🌱
I have a significant problems about wanting something to be co depent on me but that can also not need me to be completely capable
@@bardo677 What is it about them being codependent on you that pulls you in?
@@bardo677 Interesting. Maybe you want to be needed, but sometimes you resent having to "be at your post" at all times. Don't be hard on yourself. We have been grossly misled about what a loving relationship is. And just so you know, women have these same problems.
I think Russell has a direct link to my brain . Are you A.I. Bless you and thank you 🙏🏼
"Ensure that your intention is for the best outcome for that person."
_B..E...Autiful_
Sitting and watching a 9 min vid on youtube you might usually expect to come away with one simple idea, but Russel doesn't add filler. He's got what he wants to share with you and it's informationally nutritious. It's directional and focussed, and networked with other deeper concepts. The purpose is communication not merely creation or repetition without meaning.
Thanks Russell.
The first and only relationship we should care about is with ourselves. And then all of the other ones... and most of us are so not in touch with our own reality and experience on this planet, that we can truly mess it up for whoever is with us too.
When you know yourself, everything else becomes easier. At least that's how I see it.
Great vid. ❤
Beautifully put 😀 finding out i am potentially Autistic will be a huge eye opener for me. More self exploration!
Very well said! Whole heartedly agree❤️
BUT finding out who you are in this world involves relating to fellow humans. There is no "in" without an "out". Therefore, ruining a relationship is very important as a step to knowing how to maintain a healthy one.
@@medicalinterest9091 for me... all the answers are within. And knowing that controls how you relate to others. We all evolve. We all get clearer. With time.
@@iamandreakorin Do you agree that we discover who we are by our relationships to others?
I love you Russell. You've been so authentic through the years, and always questioning this mad gift of life we have. Bloody love ya x
The title is Brilliant! It got my attention, and the monologue went way deeper than I was expecting or was planning to dedicate as much time toward! And I’m glad I did. The whole thing was so on point, but to hear so much truth in such a short span of time was unbelievable! Bravo! Congratulations on a job well done!
I've got to be honest, I don't really recognize any of the things Russell say's here. I've been married for 40 years to my best friend, I don't own her, I do respect her, I don't take her for granted. When we have a disagreement, we talk about the thing we are disagreeing on, and never call each other bad names. I guess we've been doing something right?
@James
watch this. rly helpful though
: how to spot fake relationship
th-cam.com/video/3KohQXxEnZk/w-d-xo.html
@@carolyne9564 I know that clip. it is totally amazing. highly recommend that
@@charlmorkel3490, I can only say that you know, or should know, that this experience of life is a brief one. If you feel that this Lady is worth the wait, then wait for her, if you feel she is not worth the wait, then don't. Only you can decide that, and only you can decide how much of your brief time here is worth investing in the process of waiting for this Lady, or waiting for anything else for that matter.
You both are very healthy people. I assume, you both come from healthy family of origin, or not. Addictive type of people have many issues like this but I think Russel with his intelligence and open mind was able to deal with all stuff on time.
@@ana-mariaalrasul9231 , Are we healthy people? Do you mean now, or back when we first met? Do you mean bodily healthy, mentally healthy, or both?
He’s owned up to mistakes and has grown from it I have so much respect
This was much needed. Planning on watching it over and over. Thank you
He’s an old soul, he brings wisdom, and we can all grow and benefit from his teachings, he is love, he is kind, he is nurturing and yes, like the father we all needed and still really want. He taught me so much today. Tyyy, my mentor.🙏🏼
Can't thank you enough Russell! Won't say the reason I had to watch this (a second time this month) in case she sees how fragile my ego is and how impatient I am. Was not far from throwing away possibly the most healthy relationship ever just because I was having a tantrum.
Please don’t ever stop sharing your gift of your awakened self. I can’t tell you how helpful and meaningful you are to so many… thank you Russell 🙏🏻
The best way not to ruin relationships, is by having a good childhood.
Or working on a bad one..
Not always possible...
I like those clear, doable guidelines.
Hopefully my past experiences have built enough resilience and developed real commitment to have an ongoing transformative life no matter what comes my way
🤣🤣 very true!
Present awareness is the key with pain though, well and practice....my soon to be wife had a turbulent childhood, the way we've grown together in part is my acceptance of that happening to her and listening / not trying to fix that, but also doing my best in the present for her. It balances out :)
Love you Russel. So thankful for your existence. You are pure light!
Thanks, Russell. Always posting what's on my mind.
Russell - you are such a delightful human. “Joy” is the word they comes to mind when I think of you. 🦋
These videos help me a lot...
I’ve had issues with relationships due to my childhood.. I understand my faults but sometimes feel, why am I not good enough for them to stay but then I think why I feel that way and think back..
Unknowingly I’ve tried to be with the wrong people to understand how relationships work but it’s not until now I realise how good a relationship is with the right person when you work together rather than one sided. May not work the 1st or 4th time with someone but the right person it’s truly amazing 💓
Stay strong ❤️
It has been one of my best lessons not to place unreasonable expectations on others. If someone doesn’t want to cooperate in tandem to improve and enjoy our partnership, then its sianora! Life is too short to spend time in heartache and other miseries.
Jessica DePue very true! But I’ve only learn this now.. had a lot of trauma in my life and accepted poor behaviour deeming it normal.
Onwards and upwards x
Nikki Dodd Oh my goodness, when I consider times in my life I have spent tolerating things that were intolerable, I get mad! Lol! But that is how we learn. X
Jessica DePue very true 🥰
I have so much respect for the frankness. You speak about your inner life, your soul path without hesitation. That helps people understanding their issues and/or reassures them on their path. Thank you for beeing fearless. For beeing brave.
This changed my perspective on everything. The yearning is just in our nature, perhaps as addicts or perhaps as humans. I really need a spiritual outlet. Wow.
You don't f### a relationship up when you actually care for and truly love the other person because then you will want the best for that person.... I'm glad your so open and honest with your wife... Not many are.
i seriously needed this video at this moment it’s a sign! thanks russel i always look forward to your vids
Me too
Same, just gone through a break up today. Seeking solace and found more through his wise words. Bring awareness to oneself and live your authentic self. Its hard but I need to bring myself to this place of acceptance.
Same 😛😘🍃🍃⚡️
3 weeks too late me lol
Stay aware and awake. Not zoning out or ruminating about the past or future. Staying in the present and asking your self how can I be of service to this person. OMG I needed to hear this! I can apply this in everything I do! Thank you for this message!!🥰🙏💓
What each of us believes in is up to us, but life is impossible without believing in something.
I am very neurotic and for the longest time I felt hopeless. I recently realized that there is nothing stopping me from changing, but myself.
I lost the connection to spirituality and ever since then things went downhill. I was fully immersed in the material and the mundane, and it was like being underwater, drowning in my own anxiety and depression. Not being able to see the horizon.
You're right in the sense that we should take a step back and observe ourselves in the present moment. I can only hope that being present will get easier in time.
I really needed to hear this and am trying to take on board what applies (most of it does). I am in a long term relationship with a partner with severe depression and anxiety (which he won't seek help for) so I am constantly trying to find that balance between knowing where to draw the line but also remaining responsible for my own happiness and wellbeing.
It's difficult, but he should really seek some professional help, for himself, and for you. It can really help the relationship grow, he will learn a lot but ofc you can not force it :( . I hope in time it gets better!
Thanks for that Russell - so helpful. We do recover.. your experience shines through, and that was a very compassionate look at the relationship thing - 'I live in it' so better make it a good place to live then isn't it..I am four years in and the thought of a relationship terrifies me but also that old longing isn't going to be satisfied by anything else and will happen ..and thank God for all the wonderful people I've met and friends I've made through being clean and sober ..one thing leads to another I hope ..keep on truckin'
"I can start dumbly staring at a screen" 3:31
*me dumbly staring at the screen
I don't think it's dumbly if you're watching and listening this and thinking about your life in more meaningful way? But those other times yes, we are dummies 😅
Underrated comment 😂 absolutely
Been sober 12 years and am just now realizing this . Feel like such an emotional child . Thanks for speaking the truth
I really miss and need this level of intelligence in my life 🤦🏻♀️ A LOT of people need to see this video, every single day, because most people don’t retain very much and this is something I’ve been observing for years. I think this message, if really reflected on and absorbed by most people, could save so much time and pain for so many people ☺️
💜💜
Russell! I've been a fan of yours since the MTV days, it's amazing to see how far you've come, you are one of the few people who inspired me to quit drugs and get my life together. 3 years clean, for the most part... Big love and respect, keep it up!!
You are so fabulous and your logic is soothing! You made me feel so calm :)
Damn the courage and honesty straight out the gate. This is a man who has lost his ego. Cheers man
Realizing I could be a much better partner to my husband. A lot of missed opportunities to be one. Thank you for the tips!!
This makes me find revelation of joy. Im really proud of you.
Easiest way is to void yourself of judgement and fill your life with motivation.
I'm 37 and I'm only just realising that I've done this with my ex for the last 7 years. hopefully I can stop doing this moving forward
Just finished a personal development and growth course , the best thing I’ve ever done , I thought I was self aware and living in the moment but I wasn’t !!! Best thing I’ve ever done , highly recommend it ! Thought it was going to be airy fairy and over the top but was the total opposite, now I have my little tool box I can go to . Everyone needs to do this in my opinion. ❤️
The reference to Kahlil Gibran, the Prophet was great. My favorite poet and Philosopher
1.) make sure that you look good after yourself
2.) don‘t try to control that person
3.) often and open communications
4.) always for their best outcome
I remember when I viewed this man as just a funny comedian but as a guru his insights are spot on
This saved my marriage thank you so much Russell
No, it didnt, another lie, dont be surprised, Russell. LMAO
You have the least idea of how much you’re videos impact me. I don’t ever comment on any video but I would like you to know how much these bits help me. Thank you Russell. I appreciate all you do. Truly, thank you.
Yes I feel I was the same way when I was younger too, not a good feeling
I love this! The last 2 minutes were the most impactful. I had never listened to his motivational talks till today and I've been enjoying the wisdom bombs but mostly, that he's talking like it's really an actual person and not a memorized speech
Perhaps ruining a relationship is the relationship, it really depends on how you define a good relationship. A good relationship is what works for you and the other person, it has nothing to do with defined values or convention.
Ive thought that letting my husband be his own person was enough- a lot compared to people around me. But I don’t ask myself “how can i be of service and support? ”
But i do that at the beginning of relationships. Maybe what’s changed is me, and yes, that is what i can and should control.
I really love how much i learn watching this videos.
so true i used to be controlling out of fear
I'm guilty of this myself, I've let a wonderful relationship with someone that cared for me run down the drain because I was so self-absorbed and infantile. At the time I thought I was unhappy in the relationship because I've let their dynamic become more of a parent than a lover, but now I know I was only unhappy with myself. Thanks to wonderful people like Russell that ignited my spark of introspection, I'm determined to never let this happen ever again.
I feel like this advice would have made my old relationship alot better. It would have gotten me out of my head and stop the overthinking a bit. It wouldnt have made the relationship work, but it may have been better and ended on a better note. Shame I didnt see this or something like this back then.
Glad you are awake and aware. Please remember we are here to love while caring for and about each other. Someone once told me “ never go anywhere alone , where your husband would not also be welcome”. It seemed good advice however I am divorced from him, witch is good. Thank you, working to be readying for a new love..
I needed this today, thank you 🙏
This really hit me differently because it not only made me look into retrospect how I am with my girlfriend and how I really need to change, but how I am at work. Thank you so much for posting this video, honestly things like this really makes me really what I can do for change that will make things better for others
This came at a perfect time. Thank you!
Real talk! I have taken several years off from relationships in order to find myself and work through highs and lows in order to learn how to accept my emotions because I have no one to blame. I also have learned how to be silent and observe things in order to understand before acting. One day whenever my person comes along, I will be able to truly give him love, attention, and respect. I'll be able to communicate openly and truly talk things through.
I know of a man who could help you restore back your relationship either your ex or soulmate
He was the one who helped me in restoring back my ex partner three days ago without delay
Whtsaap him"**
I do every mistake ... I have ruined all my relationships ... Now I am married again ... I try to control myself but it's so difficult.
Dude, this is SO ON POINT! I have such respect for you.. your talks are so blunt and to the point.. your brutally honest approach is phenomenal.. but, the best way to teach/ share wisdom is by experience.. cheers to your sobriety. Stay awesome Sir.
Russell with that universal timing once again, he has this magical ability to know the subjects we need to hear when we need to hear them!
21K likes.. 12 Dislikes..
2121
Great video. Spot on.
Thanks for your willingness to be truthful and authentic. Very refreshing.
“What can I do for this person I’m in relationship with….”
“Let go of any idea of controlling that person….”
“Let people be who they are…”
🙏🏻💕🙏🏻
What if you’ve done everything you can to help the relationship work but the other half isn’t doing their bit. A lot of people are controlling is it best to walk away? If I stay I’ll be the one trying to control them by making them less controlling, catch 22
If you are in a relationship and you have communicated your concerns or needs and they are still not dealt with or respected then your choice is to either let go of your concerns/needs or let go of the relationship. My experience is that you can’t change others but we can all change ourselves.
Russell Brand thanks for the reply Russell top man keep up the good work
Wow you’re truly a great teacher, it’s so much fun to witness how much work you’ve done to be able to be the cool vulnerable person who mesmerizes so many of us. I wish you had a 15 year old son like i do - and you could help me untangle THAT relationship! Thank you, Sir. Really
I needed this advice 5 years ago 🤐🙈🙏🏽♥️
Its strange how attractive he looks now hes sober and at peace with himself back in the day you could tell he wasnt at peace with himself
Im gonna bookmark this for when I get in a relationship (if)
Yes, I wish I knew this stuff when I was a teenager. Now I know it, I tend to terminate a budding relationship that is headed
towards basic incompatibility in objectives. These days, if a potential partner asks "Why do you have to analyse everything?" That's the terminator. Some people are born to fight against waking up.
It doesn't just apply to romantic relationships, it's all relationships in every part of your life, your parents, your siblings, your friends, teachers, bosses, etc.
@Jimmy Jams agreed 😆
No rush!
@@RussellBrand Hi Russell, do you mean:
' don't rush into relationships.'?
I like the concept of the relationship as the home. My relationship is going on 14 years this year, and we both grew up together and made a lot of mistakes with each other. I was consumed by my partner's feelings and needs at one point where I felt controlled, and I'm big enough to admit I had my own schemes of control. Now I have asks. My partner has asks. We have expectations on the table that are spoken to make our home we've built together run smoothly enough. We make plans together, and sometimes purposely apart where we have both memories and stories to share. For a while, I was really unsure we could last because we are very different people with different interests and even some difference in values. There will always be sticking points that reignite perpetual arguments over these differences, but for me, this thing we built is more important. We both have a strong sense of humor and have gotten better over the years at reading each other not as lukewarm allies who could prepare for war at any second, but of fallible companions with trust and love who deserve peace and forgiveness.
Being in a new relationship is like buying a new toy. It’s fun at first but then you struggle to remember how badly you desired that toy at first sight.
Your perspective on everything is always so logical and never spoken by emotion. Thank you for your wisdom sir.
Thank you rus, can you do a video for living with a spirit less unconscience family? While being conscience..
Yes. We will do it. And we’ll tag you when we do.
Byron Katy has as good one on those lines when she talks to a bloke trying to live with his fundamentalist religious family - might be inside her loving what is audio book.
This message came to me at the exact right time in my life. Thanks Russell it's been a very challenging time in my life and this message just hit home. Synchronicity is real.
@Asiayei Cynthia thanks for the referral, however it is beyond repair at this point.
I'm gonna treat myself to a Brand movie to celebrate my new sobriety today on Thanksgiving
I became sober October 1st 2020, hope you're doing well
Congratulations! Stay focused and strong! You are worth every second of sobriety!
@@austins.2495 going smooth brotha
@@lynnfarley7851 thank you so much!!!