fanfic cafe

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 5K

  • @ColeyDoesThings
    @ColeyDoesThings  4 ปีที่แล้ว +3963

    if you're interested, here's a link to my store if you want any of the candles, stickers, or buttons featured in this video!
    coleydoesthings.bigcartel.com/

    • @yunarc6098
      @yunarc6098 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    • @scoot-scoot51341
      @scoot-scoot51341 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Will definitely be checking it out!

    • @DD-wr1ji
      @DD-wr1ji 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I'll buy 100

    • @tsukishimakei7452
      @tsukishimakei7452 4 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      I am coming to this cafe, rn. I need the adress.

    • @zqueen1229
      @zqueen1229 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Gonna Buy All Those Candles!!!

  • @scoot-scoot51341
    @scoot-scoot51341 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5231

    "I could sue you for emotional damages!"
    Boi, if that ain't a mood

    • @Nava08
      @Nava08 4 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      ATUS be like-

    • @jokeisnonexistent6045
      @jokeisnonexistent6045 4 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      karen be like-

    • @cmrobbins88
      @cmrobbins88 4 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      Every unhappy fast food customer be like-

    • @jeanbates9595
      @jeanbates9595 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      ASOTM who?

    • @Amanda.N502
      @Amanda.N502 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      In another universe be like-

  • @nooe.l4310
    @nooe.l4310 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3270

    “Hey waiter can I get another oneshot over here?” I’ve never felt more called out in my life

    • @gothamlioness9090
      @gothamlioness9090 4 ปีที่แล้ว +53

      Really? I thought I was the only one!

    • @hockeychicks5535
      @hockeychicks5535 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Lol same

    • @xoxlillikittyxox1846
      @xoxlillikittyxox1846 4 ปีที่แล้ว +98

      Same
      Oneshots are like mini cupcakes to me. Easy to consume and enjoyable!

    • @turbothecat3811
      @turbothecat3811 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Same

    • @nooe.l4310
      @nooe.l4310 4 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      @@xoxlillikittyxox1846 Yeah! Plus you don't have to wait for updates or risk them being unfinished

  • @kingssideparadise6813
    @kingssideparadise6813 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3016

    Is... Is this an elaborate way of promoting your candles , stickers and etc.?
    Damn , I knew you were smart

    • @maeveheart7464
      @maeveheart7464 4 ปีที่แล้ว +87

      *v e r y s m a r t*

    • @louvie1066
      @louvie1066 4 ปีที่แล้ว +76

      She is *good*

    • @liveatlast4759
      @liveatlast4759 4 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      woah. like, big brain time over here.

    • @rjkroeplin9815
      @rjkroeplin9815 4 ปีที่แล้ว +105

      She created an entire universe and characters to sell us candles and stickers and I AM HERE FOR IT.

  • @apples8242
    @apples8242 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2283

    "MORE ANGST. M O R E ."
    "Ma'am, you've ordered ten angst fanfics in one sitti-"
    "MORE."

    • @moonseaeeveelutionsdance8863
      @moonseaeeveelutionsdance8863 2 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      *W H Y I S T H I S M E*

    • @yumi_cloud
      @yumi_cloud 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Me

    • @ohwowitsthatguy9154
      @ohwowitsthatguy9154 2 ปีที่แล้ว +67

      "OH SHIT, SHE'S OD'ING! QUICK, TOSS ME A SHOT OF PURE FLUFF! WE CAN'T AFFORD ANOTHER LAW SUIT OVER A BROKEN HEART!!"

    • @caitlinschrock52
      @caitlinschrock52 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      This is me. I really don’t care what’s in it as long as 99 percent of the tags are angst and hurt/comfort

    • @_-lariant-_5206
      @_-lariant-_5206 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      angst would be the fanfic equivalent of expresso shots, i believe

  • @r1nseandrepeat
    @r1nseandrepeat 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6820

    "carry any y/n stuff?"
    "of course but the higher the quality the harder it is to find-"
    *wheezes in why is that so true*

    • @ariawen8476
      @ariawen8476 3 ปีที่แล้ว +61

      When Two Souls Meet by Zana B Sparrows, anyone?

    • @orion8913
      @orion8913 3 ปีที่แล้ว +137

      I never find good y/n fanficts because in every fanfic i looked through y/n is always a girl and there's also a lot of ✨dirty✨ scenes which.. I'm not really into that😀

    • @cosmosfacade8836
      @cosmosfacade8836 3 ปีที่แล้ว +76

      Oh my goodness as a y/n ff person this is so fricking true-

    • @sunshinelil1966
      @sunshinelil1966 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@orion8913 same

    • @coffeetonin5150
      @coffeetonin5150 3 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      Oooooh if any of you guys want some good mha high quality y/n fics, I recommend myherowritings on tumblr! She has really great ones including a couple of SMAUs! Also, yes! So true! It’s so hard to find some good y/n stuff 😭

  • @kyra9647
    @kyra9647 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6371

    This is basically ColeyDoesThings's Coffee Shop Au and I love it.

  • @clockgoblin3616
    @clockgoblin3616 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4830

    All the rare ship people making their drinks at home bc they know the cafe won’t have it

    • @solarz.z
      @solarz.z 4 ปีที่แล้ว +101

      yeah that's me u h

    • @ABombFan
      @ABombFan 4 ปีที่แล้ว +104

      i-,,,,, okay then,, didn’t expect to be called out today

    • @PippyTheFan
      @PippyTheFan 4 ปีที่แล้ว +57

      😭😭😭😭 (the other side of:) 🎶All by myself🎶

    • @starflightruby6259
      @starflightruby6259 4 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      how dare you call me out like this

    • @pakki6555
      @pakki6555 4 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      High five everybody

  • @dreamsyns
    @dreamsyns 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1281

    I accidentally read a story with the tag; “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat”
    I’m scarred for life.

    • @luanunes14
      @luanunes14 3 ปีที่แล้ว +77

      Lol I send you my respect

    • @cupcakesxsprinkles3990
      @cupcakesxsprinkles3990 3 ปีที่แล้ว +100

      whenever I see those I nope out of there regardless of plot

    • @arcticfox858
      @arcticfox858 3 ปีที่แล้ว +48

      i read the summary of one and now i'm also scarred for life

    • @helloimarabbit4083
      @helloimarabbit4083 3 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      What is dead dove: do not eat?

    • @dreamsyns
      @dreamsyns 3 ปีที่แล้ว +99

      @@helloimarabbit4083 a fic where it’s either just really gorey or just really disturbing

  • @kitifulnines
    @kitifulnines 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4981

    "Hey can I have one more nightmare hurt/comfort oneshot?"
    "Sir this is your 30th oneshot in a row please try something else."
    *"Hand me my hurt/comfort."*

    • @AC-hx6gk
      @AC-hx6gk 4 ปีที่แล้ว +271

      kyedraws
      Me: *”And give me Found Family with that.”*

    • @carolinemcgovern4488
      @carolinemcgovern4488 4 ปีที่แล้ว +103

      If that ain't a mood.

    • @5awdust
      @5awdust 3 ปีที่แล้ว +101

      *ALL THE HURT COMFORT*
      but i homebrew most of mine, I’ve tried all of em in my fandoms :/

    • @Jenns228
      @Jenns228 3 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      Its all ive read for weeks

    • @sampeacaml9307
      @sampeacaml9307 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      I just love them. ^^ I like hypnosis, too. But kind, consensual ones.

  • @notaninfodump5929
    @notaninfodump5929 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5597

    When you're in a small fanfiction circle:
    Me: "I want more!"
    Waiter: "Ma'am, you just took our entire stock."
    Me: "F it- I'll make it myself."

    • @rosenrot234
      @rosenrot234 4 ปีที่แล้ว +285

      You practically become an eldritch being at that point demanding sacrifices ( more fics ) but your followers are sobbing because they don't have any and to please show mercy

    • @Riika_01
      @Riika_01 4 ปีที่แล้ว +160

      Or...
      Me: I want more!
      Also me: Ah shit, I have to write it

    • @besjeee
      @besjeee 4 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      felt.

    • @potatoparrot2464
      @potatoparrot2464 4 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      Man... same with uncommon ships!

    • @cestalia
      @cestalia 4 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      I am dying of family content fic and decide to make it.
      Best decision ever.

  • @alyssaj8779
    @alyssaj8779 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1761

    "can I get aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-" is me after I finish a great fic and don't know what to do with my life

    • @AC-hx6gk
      @AC-hx6gk 4 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      Tara Jones
      For me searching for another found family fic is the way tbh

    • @hey_its_shadow4221
      @hey_its_shadow4221 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      yeah

    • @taratea3798
      @taratea3798 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Welp I have found another Tara

    • @cupcakejack7375
      @cupcakejack7375 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yep. Everytime

    • @moasamuelson
      @moasamuelson 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I think this is the state I’ve been in for the past two years

  • @MeepBeepBeep
    @MeepBeepBeep 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1275

    "Can I have an angst fic- like REALLY angsty."
    "Oh, are you sure-"
    "Like where my favorite character dies and everyone is super sad. Just dump a whole cup of angst into it."
    "..."
    "And can I have a side of cute sibling dynamics to cheer me up afterwards."
    "Good choice for the cute sibling dynamics."

    • @zeenoash.8805
      @zeenoash.8805 3 ปีที่แล้ว +88

      "Unfortunately, we have ran out of fluffy ingredients after passerine and flowers came out, and people wanted a way to drown out all the sorrows those two fics caused. I am very sorry for the inconvenience, would you like to order something else?"

    • @AstrumPhasma
      @AstrumPhasma 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      Now that is my cup of tea

    • @zeenoash.8805
      @zeenoash.8805 3 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      Well, there is Evermore...not sure if you'd want it tho. It's incredibly sad and depressing and the person writing it has no angst impulse control and used up all our angst stock a few months ago. However, a lot of people are still ordering it despite my warnings. ( **mumbles** some even came back. F*cking self-hurting bastards.) Do you want that?

    • @woodland_paws
      @woodland_paws 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      @@zeenoash.8805 ayyeee passerine! I know that one!
      *sobs*

    • @aikawarazu
      @aikawarazu 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      where is this fic where is it where is the fic w

  • @hithere8789
    @hithere8789 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3729

    Explain a video so badly:
    A legal blackmarket with people voluntarily hurting themselves

    • @callmeravenlee1972
      @callmeravenlee1972 4 ปีที่แล้ว +142

      So a legal black market

    • @hithere8789
      @hithere8789 4 ปีที่แล้ว +57

      @@callmeravenlee1972 yes

    • @JLC-hd1lj
      @JLC-hd1lj 4 ปีที่แล้ว +116

      A legal black market for masochistic content viewers, most being shippers-

    • @hithere8789
      @hithere8789 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      @@JLC-hd1lj YOU ARE A GENIUS

    • @JLC-hd1lj
      @JLC-hd1lj 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      @@hithere8789 Nah man, just saying how I see it-

  • @coleyblossoms1051
    @coleyblossoms1051 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3954

    "This is nothing but pain, why would anyone voluntarily drink this," well....

  • @cass-the-vtuber-simpfu-cha7418
    @cass-the-vtuber-simpfu-cha7418 4 ปีที่แล้ว +803

    That oneshot bit was a MOOOOD.
    “I’m gonna need five more of these babies-“

    • @fandomwriter8789
      @fandomwriter8789 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      No kidding 😂

    • @fawna_lariat
      @fawna_lariat 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      Damn right. Who needs to commit to a story when you can just chug oneshot after oneshot

  • @ClaraLicht99
    @ClaraLicht99 3 ปีที่แล้ว +164

    "I'm not in any position to judge, I mean, lord knows what I'm into" THIS SPEAKS TO MY SOUL

  • @ordinarydream3r
    @ordinarydream3r 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5327

    WJEN I TELL YOU I WHEEZED WHEN ALL BY MYSELF PLAYED SOFTLY IN THE BACKGROUND ASDJDKFKSKAKD

  • @smolferret9145
    @smolferret9145 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2803

    *"WhY iS iT sPiCy?"*
    Me whenever I read a fanfic with smut on the first chapter:

    • @taestea6097
      @taestea6097 4 ปีที่แล้ว +100

      oh you poor, poor thing :)

    • @laughsinsad7912
      @laughsinsad7912 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      wow if a story has that, it Sialkot doesn’t even start until about the sixteenth chapter, and it’s always forceddd

    • @notareallin620
      @notareallin620 4 ปีที่แล้ว +84

      After a while, you don't really blink at the smut.
      But the fluff is too embarrasing to not get flustered with.

    • @xx_somescenecath0lic_xx888
      @xx_somescenecath0lic_xx888 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Smol Ferret ew

    • @xx_somescenecath0lic_xx888
      @xx_somescenecath0lic_xx888 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Smol Ferret w h y w o u l d y o u e v e n d o t h a t

  • @Kyrio-ty8gx
    @Kyrio-ty8gx 4 ปีที่แล้ว +386

    "yeah could i get a uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
    if that isn't a mood-

    • @GaymerMajor
      @GaymerMajor 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Coley should've gone like: a newcomer I see might I recommend childhood friends fluff with collage au, it's perfect for beginners

    • @amandahibbs3690
      @amandahibbs3690 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Ahmet M. Cerrah mine was a summer vacation au where the side aggravation character became an ally and sped up the canon slow burn

    • @TheChristianCountess2721
      @TheChristianCountess2721 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@GaymerMajorthat person might not be a newcomer, she might be indecisive, lol. I know that’s probably what people in fast-food places see when I order because I’m indecisive to a ‘T’ 😭.

  • @comradeacerbus6397
    @comradeacerbus6397 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    Not only does she accurately portray how fandoms froth in the mouth over tropes, but also painfully accurately portrayed the retail experience

  • @kitkatkinz
    @kitkatkinz 4 ปีที่แล้ว +774

    The amount of ships and fandoms you would have to have I-

    • @afeatherinthewind
      @afeatherinthewind 4 ปีที่แล้ว +124

      Well now see, you go to Ships R Us to find your fandom and ship, and bring it to the Fanfic Cafe- a "Bring Your Own Cup" scenario, I believe! 😂

    • @kitkatkinz
      @kitkatkinz 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      @@afeatherinthewind ahhh yes 😂

  • @thecardinalsin7
    @thecardinalsin7 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2529

    one-shots would be just pure shots of caffeine

    • @taestea6097
      @taestea6097 4 ปีที่แล้ว +195

      *_HIYESCANIHAVE50SHOTSOFESPRESSO_* THANK

    • @xoxlillikittyxox1846
      @xoxlillikittyxox1846 4 ปีที่แล้ว +47

      @@taestea6097 Why is this so funny to me? XDDD

    • @taestea6097
      @taestea6097 4 ปีที่แล้ว +59

      @@xoxlillikittyxox1846 BECAUSE *_E N E R G Y_*

    • @rinyaskyline
      @rinyaskyline 4 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      One shots are espresso to me. I love them.

    • @stormylight5114
      @stormylight5114 4 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      They'd probably have vodka and spice in it too, based on the contents👀

  • @mochibunnyan6556
    @mochibunnyan6556 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2672

    Tbh the NSFW fics should be a bar adjacent to the cafe (andtheownershaveanenemiestoloverstensionjustBOILINGbetweenthem-)

    • @cann_is_major
      @cann_is_major 4 ปีที่แล้ว +157

      why do I need this in my life, someone write a fic T^T

    • @azharel._.11
      @azharel._.11 4 ปีที่แล้ว +66

      ✨Completely agreed✨

    • @shadeshift1268
      @shadeshift1268 3 ปีที่แล้ว +59

      With lots and lots of smut in it...

    • @starfleetcomm
      @starfleetcomm 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Is it illegal for minors to read or write smut of was that just a joke

    • @lights5616
      @lights5616 3 ปีที่แล้ว +49

      @@starfleetcomm idk if its illegal but there is a lot of +18 stuff in there

  • @palemourningrose2463
    @palemourningrose2463 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    Loving the implication that fics are like potions and writing them is like alchemy/mixology. Which also implies that the imbiber drinks the fic potion and violently hallucinates the fic

  • @emrys4386
    @emrys4386 4 ปีที่แล้ว +728

    "How's your ABO?"
    "Knotty, but if you're into that sort of thing, nice."

    • @juliannad6091
      @juliannad6091 4 ปีที่แล้ว +73

      Omg I didn’t catch that 😂

    • @ender_voide9344
      @ender_voide9344 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Literally just read it as she was saying it lol

    • @datunasamich8145
      @datunasamich8145 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      i see you're a person of culture as well

    • @maagnatism678
      @maagnatism678 4 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      noOOOO i didnt catch that pun shit

    • @oya3955
      @oya3955 4 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      I thought she said naughty but this is even better lol

  • @Burningtoasttt
    @Burningtoasttt 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3504

    me sticking to hilariously terrible fics like: Oh my god this is GARBAGE....I'll take your entire stock

    • @inactive9550
      @inactive9550 4 ปีที่แล้ว +128

      Won day I went to parc. At parc there's a fre pupee!! Wow that is rely lucke. I am hapy. The en

    • @khatunamezvrishvili6211
      @khatunamezvrishvili6211 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Are you me???

    • @aecholapis
      @aecholapis 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Same

    • @Nobody-707
      @Nobody-707 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      @@inactive9550 I love it here

    • @try1ngmybe5t81
      @try1ngmybe5t81 4 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      I ironically read on Wattpad for that reason

  • @mauvemagnolia
    @mauvemagnolia 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6204

    “Excuse me, barista? There’s smut in this.”
    “I’m sorry, is that not what you wanted? You ordered a friends to lovers fic and they’re both consenting adults so I didn’t think it would be out of place...”
    “Do I look like someone who would order SMUT?"
    "Listen, lady, I don't judge. If you want, I'll just toss this and you can order one without smut."
    "I said it's not what I ordered, I didn't say I wouldn't drink it."
    * *proceeds to chug the whole vente sized, 9 chapter, fic in one sitting* *
    "Oh okay... never mind then..."

  • @rayhyacinth643
    @rayhyacinth643 3 ปีที่แล้ว +232

    7:08 the hope in her eyes-
    I will be that costumer.
    Like a fanart? want a fanfic about it.
    Like the fanfic? Gimmie the fanart.

  • @CovensAgainstTheThrone
    @CovensAgainstTheThrone 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3460

    Anybody else lay awake in bed full of fanfiction ideas, writing the entire thing mentally..
    Only to forget it the next morning?

    • @ChaosRayZero
      @ChaosRayZero 4 ปีที่แล้ว +111


      Just about every night!

    • @transmission5694
      @transmission5694 3 ปีที่แล้ว +94

      yeah, i like to think they are good ideas, yet i cant for shit and when making comics or fan manga kinda end up being one of those fanfic writers who never finish their WIP

    • @CovensAgainstTheThrone
      @CovensAgainstTheThrone 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      @@transmission5694 ^^THIS

    • @i.m1ss.y0u.s0.f4r
      @i.m1ss.y0u.s0.f4r 3 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      you should keep a notebook to jot your ideas down

    • @freddie8610
      @freddie8610 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Lmao yeah I wrote an entire smut fic in my head word for word and now I can’t remember any of it
      Edit: spelling

  • @boredcuziam1145
    @boredcuziam1145 4 ปีที่แล้ว +452

    As I always say, “Can’t start the day off without your mornin fics.” Beggars can’t be choosers.

    • @booperdooper9762
      @booperdooper9762 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      You guys have mornings. I usually stay up all night

    • @Zackisnotdead
      @Zackisnotdead 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Ada Escamilla Same. I take what’s called turbo-naps in between fanfics.

  • @Daelyah
    @Daelyah 4 ปีที่แล้ว +692

    *Throat thoroughly destroyed:* _"WHY'S IT SPICY...?!"_
    ...bruh, I'm dead! 😂😂😂🤣💀

    • @elisabethchapman9577
      @elisabethchapman9577 3 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      "It's so sour too!" 🤣

    • @spicy_child3846
      @spicy_child3846 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      why does it sound overly histrionic and completely accurate🤦‍♀🤣

  • @weridplusho
    @weridplusho 2 ปีที่แล้ว +381

    6:14 was just amazing. The little kid laughter, the cries and how the barista ins't even that mad like this was a common occurrence. That kid's gonna become a veteran before they've become an adult.

  • @killanelle
    @killanelle 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2105

    hi yes i’d like a fake dating au with a shitload of fluff and a sprinkle of angst

    • @mikakestudios5891
      @mikakestudios5891 4 ปีที่แล้ว +57

      Take ma money!

    • @ezrabridger3322
      @ezrabridger3322 4 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      I'll take my usual.

    • @xoxlillikittyxox1846
      @xoxlillikittyxox1846 4 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      Hello ma'am, I'd like a bucket of angst to go, 2 delicious cups of fluff, 1 amnesia or soulmate AU and a crapload of enemies-to-lovers, hopefully some in Lumity flavor. I'd also really enjoy correct grammar with that. Thanks!
      Also, add in a couple of oneshots, hold the smut.

    • @hopefulseabunny6658
      @hopefulseabunny6658 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      So...turns out I got banned for asking for 5 mega cups of hardcord smut, 45 Crack ships shots, and two deep angst.

    • @quitequeerquesadilla
      @quitequeerquesadilla 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Hiiii... do you guys serve ABO here? Oh, secret menu? Okay.

  • @yaboiiyadudee3644
    @yaboiiyadudee3644 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1094

    “this is nothing but pain why would anyone voluntarily drink this” i-

    • @kenzie_kenzi_kenz2331
      @kenzie_kenzi_kenz2331 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      *coughs*

    • @Quarter_BeetheSkid
      @Quarter_BeetheSkid 4 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      _turns away and looks_ *literally* _anywhere else-_

    • @KZFathom
      @KZFathom 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      pain is tasty
      honestly angst is probably one of my favorite things to read

    • @tticusFinch
      @tticusFinch 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      The way I explain it (*cough* justify it to myself *cough*) is that usually we see how people truly are when they are in pain - whether that be emotional, physical, or psychological.

    • @meepobeepo4536
      @meepobeepo4536 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      *_Me browsing the Dead Dove tag_*

  • @dipolo6546
    @dipolo6546 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2249

    I love the fresh smell of angst in the morning

    • @pip_a_doodle2175
      @pip_a_doodle2175 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      XDD

    • @thequietdreamer2186
      @thequietdreamer2186 4 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      “Nothing else in the world smells like that.”

    • @localizeds
      @localizeds 4 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      nothing starts your morning like reading In Another Life...

    • @xoxlillikittyxox1846
      @xoxlillikittyxox1846 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Ah yes, it truly brings out the misery in the atmosphere.

    • @thequietdreamer2186
      @thequietdreamer2186 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      xoxLilli Kittyxox “The horror! The horror!”

  • @bettycreepersayuri-chan809
    @bettycreepersayuri-chan809 3 ปีที่แล้ว +108

    "AAAAAAAA IT BURNSS"
    Me chugging the thing: *WEAK*

    • @melethron_nin7170
      @melethron_nin7170 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      I see you're a person of culture as well.

  • @silkyxcore5497
    @silkyxcore5497 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2036

    "Why is it spicy?"
    Me who who has been absorbing this like mac n cheese: *You, are W E A K*

  • @0dungeon_frog0
    @0dungeon_frog0 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1051

    Two words. Diabetes and food poisoning.
    That's what you get here l-l

    • @aliendxde
      @aliendxde 4 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      did you mean: a bunch of fluff and tons of angst

    • @attractivecrayon7579
      @attractivecrayon7579 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Same name!!!
      We are family now

    • @hgmblog596
      @hgmblog596 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      yes we live for the fluff and angst

    • @aliendxde
      @aliendxde 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@trutrutrucy the wh a t

    • @aliendxde
      @aliendxde 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@trutrutrucy bro do you mean hurt/comfort??

  • @pip_a_doodle2175
    @pip_a_doodle2175 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2589

    This is one of those things that we wish were real but isn't.

    • @hopefulseabunny6658
      @hopefulseabunny6658 4 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      Spitting facts.

    • @vapecat803
      @vapecat803 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      True

    • @kys8381
      @kys8381 4 ปีที่แล้ว +51

      Ima make an online website at some point like this-

    • @naniyodesu
      @naniyodesu 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      of course it's real, it's called ao3

    • @lidijaaleksoska5559
      @lidijaaleksoska5559 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@kys8381 If you ever manage to get around to doing it, could you send the link to commentmerchant@gmail.com?

  • @willsolacemahsaamini8681
    @willsolacemahsaamini8681 2 ปีที่แล้ว +183

    Me in the fanfic cafe:
    “Hey.” _pulls barista closer and whispers_ “I what a really really hardcore smut oneshot with a f*ck ton of details and feels.”
    Barista: “..are you okay?”
    “No. gimme my oneshot.”
    “We can make it but the good stuff is really rare and hard to find.”
    “I. Do. Not. Care.”
    “Ok-”
    “AND REMEMBER IT’S CONSENSUAL!”
    “okie.”

    • @Mira_Akuma
      @Mira_Akuma 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I had to voice this in real life😂

  • @karumerachan1719
    @karumerachan1719 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3191

    "What's in your hanahaki fics?"
    "Flower petals, blood, needless suffering, and a f*ck ton of angst"
    *exactly my cup of tea*

    • @CovensAgainstTheThrone
      @CovensAgainstTheThrone 3 ปีที่แล้ว +103

      'cup of tea'
      'coffee shop'
      was that intentional

    • @karumerachan1719
      @karumerachan1719 3 ปีที่แล้ว +62

      @@CovensAgainstTheThrone *maybe..maybe not..who knows?*

    • @plsctvns
      @plsctvns 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Ooh I’ll take one to go-

    • @themew1088
      @themew1088 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      You made a pun and therefor earned my respect

    • @piniatafullofblood
      @piniatafullofblood 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Same

  • @JudDoFinDovahhe
    @JudDoFinDovahhe 4 ปีที่แล้ว +535

    The girl who cried while ordering Self-Insert fics? Yeah, that's me.

    • @bettycreepersayuri-chan809
      @bettycreepersayuri-chan809 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      That's also me.

    • @creation1233
      @creation1233 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      They are so hard to find so I had to make it

    • @ChaosRayZero
      @ChaosRayZero 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Why aren't otome dating sim games popular in the west again?

    • @pantheraviva
      @pantheraviva 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      A lot of self-insert fics are in Wattpad but they are mostly garbage

    • @creaxirin
      @creaxirin 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      sui generis its really rare to find good fanfics there but its fine qwq , im really glad i found good self insert ones

  • @ChatiseE
    @ChatiseE 4 ปีที่แล้ว +235

    5:20 the fact that the tea got darker with the more yearning she put in it...

  • @dreamsyns
    @dreamsyns 3 ปีที่แล้ว +63

    Nobody:
    Me: *reading every single fanfic under a ship tag*

    • @sla5891
      @sla5891 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I F E E L T H A T

  • @lydia8526
    @lydia8526 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1511

    "Hey waiter can I get another oneee shot over here?"
    "Woah baby"
    "Hey waiter I am gonna need at least five more of these babies"
    Ok that is basically me

  • @potatoparrot2464
    @potatoparrot2464 4 ปีที่แล้ว +305

    Me: *Downing one-shots like nothing*
    Friend: *Discomfort*

    • @avidreader4140
      @avidreader4140 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      The ancient magus bride has some really good oneshots and drabbles. Not to mention the anime is similar to beauty and the beast but with it's own spin. It's not an adaption of beauty and the beast but has a similar vibe to that tale.

    • @lainadanger5998
      @lainadanger5998 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I can read 100 000 words in a day and I can't bring myself to pick up the Hobbit after getting bored at chapter 1.

  • @darkhorsedouglas4789
    @darkhorsedouglas4789 4 ปีที่แล้ว +819

    The "why is it sour?!" line killed me. No one calls smut fics Lemons anymore and I almost miss it.

    • @aerydosiathesmol
      @aerydosiathesmol 4 ปีที่แล้ว +70

      honestly same! i got into reading fanfiction when the term lemon was dying, and so i just call them lemons regardless, because it's a nice vague term

    • @IAR97
      @IAR97 4 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      Are we that old? 😂😢

    • @comm0nwealth617
      @comm0nwealth617 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      When did the term “lemon” start to die? I started reading fanfiction back in 2017, and I saw the word around occasionally, but I didn’t figure out what it meant until much later.

    • @Theoncestsystem
      @Theoncestsystem 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      I call smut fics lemons on a regular basis-

    • @bethgutierrez-vazquez3055
      @bethgutierrez-vazquez3055 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Oh yeah lemons

  • @WylieMyers1007
    @WylieMyers1007 2 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    oooooo those candles are a cool idea, imagine reading a fanfic and depending on what type it is you light a certain candle! sounds like a calming experience

  • @daflangstlairde4132
    @daflangstlairde4132 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1205

    "This is nothing but pain, why would anyone want this?"
    Me, reading 20 non-con trauma majorcharacterdeath torture fics: *sweats*

    • @lordfelidae4505
      @lordfelidae4505 4 ปีที่แล้ว +90

      Just like the barista with the dead dove, I am not one to judge.

    • @the_sky_is_blue_and_so_am_I
      @the_sky_is_blue_and_so_am_I 3 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      What is dead dove fics

    • @daflangstlairde4132
      @daflangstlairde4132 3 ปีที่แล้ว +103

      @@the_sky_is_blue_and_so_am_I It was explained to me that it came from a bit from a TV show I think? A character opened the fridge, saw a bag with "Dead Dove: Do Not Eat" written on it, but opened the bag regardless. Surprise surprise - inside there was a dead dove, and the character commented that they didn't know what they were expecting.
      It basically means that if you see content that is crealy labeled, and you dislike the label, you should just not look at it. It was labeled (or tagged, or titled, etc) for a reason.
      Essentially - don't open a bag labeled "Dead Dove" if you don't want to see a dead dove lmao

    • @wolfy9619
      @wolfy9619 3 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      I like angst and major character death *Don't judge me*

    • @theautisticartist9370
      @theautisticartist9370 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@the_sky_is_blue_and_so_am_I snuff

  • @renthewerecat
    @renthewerecat 4 ปีที่แล้ว +113

    always label your ingredients, you'll never know what someone is allergic too

    • @danabinghammclaughlin919
      @danabinghammclaughlin919 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      In my case it's misunderstandings. Cannot handle the darned things, especially if they're too early in the story so there hasn't been anything else to dilute them yet. Make me want to scream because fuck the characters are being idiots and I can see exactly how that's going to go and spiral into the entire plot of the fic and I just end up not reading any more of it.

  • @sashasasha6212
    @sashasasha6212 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2647

    the kid that stole the smut bottle and screamed, "IIIIII'M GONNA CHUG IT!" is literally me

    • @Sybil413
      @Sybil413 4 ปีที่แล้ว +123

      that was me at 16 lol

    • @helloimarabbit4083
      @helloimarabbit4083 3 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      Mood lmao

    • @user-ec6ue8jy7p
      @user-ec6ue8jy7p 3 ปีที่แล้ว +58

      Same but at 9

    • @tinywhineygrimeylad4445
      @tinywhineygrimeylad4445 3 ปีที่แล้ว +52

      @@user-ec6ue8jy7p woah i thought i was the only 9 year old reading smut djskjdd

    • @cosmosfacade8836
      @cosmosfacade8836 3 ปีที่แล้ว +55

      Nah I'd be chugging the fluff- smut is too much for me lmao

  • @cleanomean449
    @cleanomean449 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Okay but if your "usual order" is friends to lovers slow burn with light angst and miscommunication then of course you're going to get that all the time--THAT IS A *MASTERPIECE*.

  • @anasaavedra5600
    @anasaavedra5600 4 ปีที่แล้ว +511

    Kinda Ironic for a coffee shop au mention when your skit revolves on a cafe business scenario with Fanfics

    • @rachanara5157
      @rachanara5157 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      i- 👁👄👁

    • @vaertni2257
      @vaertni2257 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      now I want a coffee shop au but the coffee shop is a fanfic cafe, thank you for mentioning.

    • @borktehspork
      @borktehspork 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      one day a customer comes in and falls in love with the nerdy fanfic writer behind the counter :flushed:

  • @lmc2696
    @lmc2696 4 ปีที่แล้ว +197

    “I COULD SUE FOR EMOTIONAL DAMAGES!”
    *me with every fix that includes a scene where the half of the ship dies in the other ships arms*

    • @belletham6526
      @belletham6526 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      THOSE ARE JUST SO SAD. YOU JUST- I BLACK OUT CRY OK- BUT ITS SO FRIGGING ADDICTING

    • @helenamusic260
      @helenamusic260 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      AYY JUPITER I FOUND YOU AGAIN

  • @adastraperaspera2279
    @adastraperaspera2279 4 ปีที่แล้ว +731

    *distressed, slightly unstable looking person walks in, with bloodshot eyes, weak limbs, looking like they haven't slept for days*: give me all the crack >:(((

    • @Vickynger
      @Vickynger 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      crack is my favorite 😫

    • @jordanfleming7022
      @jordanfleming7022 4 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      Please, man, I need some crack!
      *sigh* ... dumpster out back.

    • @adastraperaspera2279
      @adastraperaspera2279 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      😂 thats offensive, there are some good quality crackfics on sale (although yeah the majority will be found in the dumpster)

    • @jordanfleming7022
      @jordanfleming7022 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      @@adastraperaspera2279
      I should know, as the dumpster is my main residence.

    • @superminion9584
      @superminion9584 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      I’m a dumpster diver too but every so often we can go in to the cafe for some Premium quality crack but it Only happens 1 to 4 a year and most times it 1 to 2

  • @alex_bee_kind
    @alex_bee_kind 3 ปีที่แล้ว +55

    I'm so sad this isn't real. I love the idea of being able to find qualified people to hand create a personal story for me, to my specifications. I don't have to waste time reading stories with stuff I hate, a small author gets monetary support for their hard work. This whole concept would be awesome!

  • @AlexCarrillo78
    @AlexCarrillo78 4 ปีที่แล้ว +298

    She’s almost out of slow burn spice. I can’t even tell if that was intentional or she really was out of spice

    • @avidreader4140
      @avidreader4140 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Probably almost used up in the slow burn pot.

  • @e_6228
    @e_6228 4 ปีที่แล้ว +179

    *[Insert a child losing it’s innocence in the distance]*
    _sips tea in oh ok then_

    • @pink_bunny_fluffy5936
      @pink_bunny_fluffy5936 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Ah, mother, I didn’t know you had an alt account. How was your pleasure of watching me lose my innocence?

  • @comfytimes8049
    @comfytimes8049 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1690

    Imagine going into a fanfic cafe, two people order a coffee shop au and then they meet in the cafe and it BECOMES a coffee shop au...
    (Coley if there's any way you see this PLEASE DO IT IF YOU MAKE ANOTHER PART)

  • @nexaaaaaaa
    @nexaaaaaaa 2 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    I would love for this cafe to actually exist, how amazing that would be

  • @pakki6555
    @pakki6555 4 ปีที่แล้ว +197

    "Why's it _spicy_ ... and it's so sour too"
    *laughs in veteran fanfic reader*

    • @yellowsnake7300
      @yellowsnake7300 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Heh..... the good old days.... of lemons and limes.....
      And apples.

    • @theonewhorandomlypopsupeve1995
      @theonewhorandomlypopsupeve1995 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@yellowsnake7300 WHAT IS AN APPLE???

    • @yellowsnake7300
      @yellowsnake7300 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @Ming Yue Siow The old Harry Potter fans know... back on Fanfiction.net.... god, I haven’t used that site in FOREVER, is live journal still a thing?

    • @lanie5759
      @lanie5759 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@yellowsnake7300 is it a my immortal thing? or- draco x apple thing? Im so confused

    • @raidyn_2894
      @raidyn_2894 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@lanie5759 YOU MEAN DRAPPLE?!? *LAUGHS* YESSSS the first fanfic i made was drarry--

  • @niagericameron9708
    @niagericameron9708 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1252

    There are 2 people who ask for smut:
    Person one, very quietly: "C-can I have s-s-sm-"
    Waiter: "What?"
    Person one: "Smu-sm-"
    Waiter: "Oh you want smut? Well what exactly to you want in it?"
    Person one: "I-"
    OR
    Waiter: "Hello! How may I-
    Person 2: "Yeah I want a rated E fic, Soulmate AU, with LOTS of spicy stuff and can you add a bit of fluff in there too? Thanks!"
    Waiter: "Oh..ok"

    • @macumicheru3250
      @macumicheru3250 4 ปีที่แล้ว +53

      ~singing~
      A
      to the
      M
      to the
      E
      to the
      N!!!!
      can i get an amen!!!
      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣✌️✌️

    • @crab1315
      @crab1315 4 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      I would so be person one because I’m always so shy especially about things like that lol

    • @trashchild5945
      @trashchild5945 4 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      I would probably cry while asking for smut

    • @niagericameron9708
      @niagericameron9708 4 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      @@trashchild5945
      Waiter: "A-are you ok-
      You, crying: "please don't judge me.."

    • @soupforfree
      @soupforfree 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      nope theres a third:
      waiter: he-
      person 3: -i nEED TENTACLES STAT

  • @joanne1168
    @joanne1168 4 ปีที่แล้ว +696

    "This is nothing but pain, why would anyone drink that??"
    Angst readers:
    Unhappy endings' fans:
    Merlin fandom:

    • @aleksislost
      @aleksislost 4 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      You really gotta call me out with that last one huh?

    • @shaylachartrand5095
      @shaylachartrand5095 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Angst is what gives me life

    • @mlpdiamonds7530
      @mlpdiamonds7530 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Why did you make me remember the ending of MERLIN!
      Also I got my mom into it and we are on the last season..... Pray for me because I'm a ugly cryer

    • @jazzyj3059
      @jazzyj3059 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      ...called me out huh?

    • @shannonwhitaker5
      @shannonwhitaker5 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Oof that last one how dare you!

  • @Maybe_a_Spoon
    @Maybe_a_Spoon 3 ปีที่แล้ว +59

    I've realized from watching all of Chloe's videos that people mainly read fics for the ship content... Then there's me who just likes watching my favorite charecters put in the most sad and painful situations while everyone remains completely platonic- (but I mean tbh that's just the majority of my fandom)

    • @hyalophora
      @hyalophora 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I exclusively read no-romance fanfics so I feel ya there

    • @dotwebp
      @dotwebp ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Same, ALL THE ANGST!

    • @LittleBlackKittyCat
      @LittleBlackKittyCat ปีที่แล้ว +1

      OMORI?

    • @SonarTheBat
      @SonarTheBat ปีที่แล้ว +1

      And then there's me who likes a mixture of both.

    • @anapaulamendozadiaz8890
      @anapaulamendozadiaz8890 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Hurt no comfort my beloved :3

  • @stealthlock6634
    @stealthlock6634 4 ปีที่แล้ว +164

    Why do I die laughing at the image of fake mustache-hair and pursed lips just,,
    “That there smut”

  • @Magpie2497
    @Magpie2497 4 ปีที่แล้ว +368

    My favourite part was the kid acting like an adult to get that sweet sweet SMUT! And then giggling like a frickin gremlin after. "It burns!" Haha 🤣

    • @Bernie_is_eepy
      @Bernie_is_eepy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      Smuts just actually vinegar

    • @lilithhyde1592
      @lilithhyde1592 4 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      @@Bernie_is_eepy I wouldn't say it's Vinegar. I'd say it's like a pound of sinnamon.

    • @Bernie_is_eepy
      @Bernie_is_eepy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Lilith Hyde ah yes, of course

    • @Bacchasnail
      @Bacchasnail 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Child fucked up and accidentally took the Everclear of smut.

    • @hyperfox0934
      @hyperfox0934 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Lol and then there was my ass at this age rolling up completely shamless like:
      "Hi can I get some Yugioh smut but it has to be incredibly fluffy and mostly about the plot. Wlw; genderswaped is fine. Also could I possibly get this in ancient Egypt?"
      "...have you read this before..? You seem rather,,, sure of your taste"
      "Nope, never, but my mom's giving me multiple fucking 'Talks' _and I need the exposure therapy"_
      (I did find the perfect fic btw. no cap saved my fucking ass I _swear_ )

  • @CoReaVT
    @CoReaVT 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1179

    For all those wondering:
    Dead Dove: Do Not Eat
    Tag used as a warning for extremely disturbing content in a work, often fanwork.
    ‘This fanfiction is tagged with "Dead Dove: Do Not Eat". I’m sensitive, so I won’t read it.’

    • @lolmemes8447
      @lolmemes8447 4 ปีที่แล้ว +67

      So like....gore???

    • @CoReaVT
      @CoReaVT 4 ปีที่แล้ว +102

      Lol Memes yeah, and so, so much worse, or so it says on urban Dictionary

    • @Maya-qs6nv
      @Maya-qs6nv 4 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      Thank you because I didn’t know what it meant

    • @eliac
      @eliac 4 ปีที่แล้ว +151

      Yep it’s based on a show(don’t remember what rn) where a person comes across a container labeled “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat”. Person is curious about what’s inside, and turns out to be exactly what the label said.
      So basically it’s just a label that’s meant to be used when somethings really heavy/dark and is just a “You saw the label, so don’t expect anything else” tag

    • @DhampirParadox
      @DhampirParadox 4 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      LittleShy Lotus123 The show is *Arrested Development* th-cam.com/video/YUKmq7UMJys/w-d-xo.html

  • @shinjinibahadur4460
    @shinjinibahadur4460 2 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    Coley's laughter at 7:37 literally made my day

  • @ABagelLeftOnTheRoadside
    @ABagelLeftOnTheRoadside 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1147

    "Who would read this willingly!?"
    Me: *slowly sets down angst filled lovers to enemies fanfic full of major character death and tons of gore* Uhhhhhhhh-

    • @snakeboi5695
      @snakeboi5695 4 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      If this isn't me XD

    • @xoxlillikittyxox1846
      @xoxlillikittyxox1846 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      If that isn't a whole mood.

    • @Abel-lt5nr
      @Abel-lt5nr 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Yeap, totally me 🤣. Always crying and ending emotionally exhausted, but Then I look for more 🙃😅

    • @arcticblueartist6068
      @arcticblueartist6068 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Same

    • @Hello-og7os
      @Hello-og7os 4 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      Wth lovers to enemies exist??

  • @Beeopboopbeep
    @Beeopboopbeep 4 ปีที่แล้ว +145

    "Any Soulmates AU flies off the shelves"?
    They're in the goddamn space

  • @MdOmarFaruqIbneHasan
    @MdOmarFaruqIbneHasan 4 ปีที่แล้ว +440

    "This is nothing but pain, why would anybody want this?"
    Harry Potter fandom:

    • @julietf3360
      @julietf3360 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      “This is nothing but pain, why would anyone want this?”
      Me, an angst enthusiast who ships bakudeku: *give*

    • @jayths1mp70
      @jayths1mp70 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Y'all are my people-
      I have found my place✨

    • @aquarius_p3599
      @aquarius_p3599 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      as a Potterhead AND a Drarry fan... I gotta say that the Angst in our fandom is..... *A lot.* And a lot of the time it's very well written so 84% of the time you will find me sobbing at least 2 times while reading fics. :,)

    • @somanytvshowshavecausedmee899
      @somanytvshowshavecausedmee899 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      *merlin fandom:*

    • @xenopyxis
      @xenopyxis 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@somanytvshowshavecausedmee899 true

  • @violetmakesfilms
    @violetmakesfilms 3 ปีที่แล้ว +49

    Everyone: I hate when they make my favs die in fanfics
    Me: I read hospital au’s

  • @imvibin2931
    @imvibin2931 4 ปีที่แล้ว +318

    "i could SUE YOU for EMOTIONAL DAMAGES!"
    everyone reading chapter one of my awae fic

    • @m1nt8168
      @m1nt8168 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      YOU HAVE AN ANNE WITH AN E FICCCC? I NEED IT. COPY AND PASTE THE LI- oh wait. I just now realized as I was typing, emotional damage. Does it have a happy ending

    • @imvibin2931
      @imvibin2931 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@m1nt8168 yes it does! it's called Just One Hug and it's on wattpad :)

  • @fashioni.star.
    @fashioni.star. 4 ปีที่แล้ว +745

    “Yeah, can I get the angst one shot, and then the follow up angst one shot, and ah, what the heck, give me a 70k slow burn friends to lovers with a pinch of angst as well.”
    “Ma’am, it’s 2 in the morning”
    “I know, fork it over”

    • @Kay_Lock
      @Kay_Lock 4 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      "Alright. Could I get fluffy one shots because that's what I really want but, I can't help but be curious so go ahead and give me a couple of angst oneshots as well. Oh, you have an angsty slow burn with miscommunication, violence, and a character with suicidal thoughts? Sure I'll take it. And because I'll probably be an emotional wreck after that go ahead and give me some more fluff one shots and a friends to lovers slow burn soulmate au with lots of fluff."
      "You know, you don't have to get the angst if you don't want it."
      "Actually, I do."
      "Why?"
      "Because I hate myself. Now can I please have my stuff. Thank you!"

    • @ra1l389
      @ra1l389 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I feel so called out.

    • @julietf3360
      @julietf3360 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Me: hi can I get a complex fantasy AU for **insert ship here?** Make it an angsty as hell enemies to lovers slowburn with no graphic smut, background or implied smut is fine. Feel free to add as much fighting and miscommunication as you want, as well as graphic descriptions of violence. Oh, and if you can, add dragons :3
      “Okay, well that’s really specific... we found one fic that fits this but it’s incomplete and hasn’t been updated in a month with no set number of chapters, and we have no idea where the author is or if they’re on hiatus or not-
      Me: *THANKS I’LL TAKE IT*

    • @dimensionenby3733
      @dimensionenby3733 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      "Um can i get a homestuck crossover or au."
      "Which other fandom would you like?"
      "I dunno madoka magica?"
      "I see you dont mind major character death."
      "For the hell of it see if you can throw in hanahaki or smth."
      "Are you sure?"
      "Im running away from my family issues do it before i ask for something more violent."

    • @paulollarsabaiii9824
      @paulollarsabaiii9824 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      "I need all the fluff you have"
      "Okay! One 10k fluff with extra friends to lovers!"
      "I don't think you understand. I said ALL THE FLUFF YOU HAVE"
      "...One 30k coming right up!"

  • @natyukihasakisama8791
    @natyukihasakisama8791 4 ปีที่แล้ว +335

    0:45
    "It has major character death!!"
    Literally every danganronpa fans ever

  • @kaboom3487
    @kaboom3487 3 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    6:21 LMAO coley’s mug is exactly what she’s feeling 😂👍

  • @mich5124
    @mich5124 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1211

    “Hi! Welcome to the Fanfic Cafe! What can I get you today?”
    “Hm... well, my favourite trope is a Coffee Shop AU with Barista x Customer”
    “👁👄👁”

    • @lordfelidae4505
      @lordfelidae4505 4 ปีที่แล้ว +66

      That literally does nothing to narrow it down.

    • @ChaosRayZero
      @ChaosRayZero 4 ปีที่แล้ว +120

      Should've said it with dialogue tags like-
      *Barista:* “Hi! Welcome to the Fanfic Cafe! What can I get you today?”
      *Customer:* “Hm... well, my favourite trope is a Coffee Shop AU with *Barista x Customer”*
      *Barista:* 👁👄👁

    • @notilaalboraie7684
      @notilaalboraie7684 3 ปีที่แล้ว +48

      Well aren't u smooth 😍😍😂😂❤️

    • @why5093
      @why5093 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      @@ChaosRayZero ooh i didnt understand the joke for a sec thank you-

    • @ChaosRayZero
      @ChaosRayZero 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      @@why5093 No problem! ^_^
      Can't tell if it went over Lord Felidae's head either, or if s/he was just joining in and joking around.

  • @theautisticartist9370
    @theautisticartist9370 4 ปีที่แล้ว +82

    God, this would make things easier than scouring the internet.

  • @jeffreyb1307
    @jeffreyb1307 4 ปีที่แล้ว +270

    everybody: ordering their fics hot and spicy
    me: *wait, coley has an new intro?*

    • @TheMediaMage
      @TheMediaMage 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I know right?! It's so cute! X3

  • @ginkomioda5842
    @ginkomioda5842 2 ปีที่แล้ว +335

    "You should be checking what you're consuming"
    Me: No I like adrenaline 😈
    * *50 chapters later* *
    Me: That was the angstiest fanfic I've ever read. Oh my god, I wanna di3.

  • @viscousheart
    @viscousheart 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1612

    "So, uh... you got any enemies to lovers in stock?"
    "Sure thing! We've got anything from school rivals to --"
    "No, I mean. Actual enemies. The main villain. Preferably in-character, redemption is optional but well done if it's included."
    "Oh. OH."
    "Yeahhhh..."
    "That's going to be a little bit more difficult but we can start working out the prices -- let's see, that's going to be slow burn, plenty of angst, self loathing, torture...?"
    "GOD YES."
    "... Alright then!" *customer service smile*

    • @adelgeras4368
      @adelgeras4368 4 ปีที่แล้ว +65

      Shit literally what I love to read

    • @ChaosRayZero
      @ChaosRayZero 4 ปีที่แล้ว +63

      And then if anyone looks at the ship and protests, "but they HATE each other," you just look up the TV tropes "go-karting with Bowser" page so you can quote the canon for "remember that one time they got along? It's totally proof that this ship was plausible!"

    • @atekisaotome7992
      @atekisaotome7992 4 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      Well the tag is enemies to lovers not rivals to lovers.

    • @quiroz923
      @quiroz923 4 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      Jesus Christ Jack, just say Catradora, this is taking forever.

    • @jordanoh659
      @jordanoh659 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      This is me

  • @jadamiller7485
    @jadamiller7485 4 ปีที่แล้ว +461

    How this could be real:
    Fanfiction Cafe's are like editorial offices or whatever. The cafe has to also get permissions with studios to send price portions. And fic writers get a portion.
    I don't know much about business... But I'm open for suggestions. You know, turn fanfiction into a bigger job opportunity.

    • @liveatlast4759
      @liveatlast4759 4 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      WE COULD MAKE MILLIONS WITH A FANFIC CAFE BUSINESS!!!! hold up imma get on this. brb.

    • @excaria5949
      @excaria5949 4 ปีที่แล้ว +42

      Ok but imagine an actual cafe but based on the drink you order and your preferences (regular customers can set up their preferences on a website or whatever) they recommend you a fic. I would sell both my kidneys to fund this.

    • @xoxlillikittyxox1846
      @xoxlillikittyxox1846 4 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      @@excaria5949 I want to try making drinks and desserts to go with fanfic tropes.

    • @JamesLawner
      @JamesLawner 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Ok, but this could get you in trouble if rights-holders know about this.

    • @alme4898
      @alme4898 4 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      It also could be a fangirl/boy friendly space, meaning some shelves with manga and books, free wifi and you can rent a tablet while you are there to read better, some posters and a "ship of the month" award in the wall
      and the most important thing: there is screaming permission and everyone understands
      It could even have like a space where locals can go to left their own printed fanfics c:

  • @annya8879
    @annya8879 4 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    people with rare ships do be wishing this cafe existed right now.
    that's me. I'm people.

  • @callieteateddi
    @callieteateddi 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Ive never read fanfiction before but these are some of my favourite things to watch

  • @EthalaRide
    @EthalaRide 4 ปีที่แล้ว +380

    "Do you have any... *_ballet or theatre AU_*_ in stock?"_
    "Only oneshots. and It's the standard 'get partnered for a scene and fall for each other' story"
    "Yeah, I figured. Sort of an exotic flavor for this particular fandom brand."
    "Oh, Here's one. This one has a love triangle!"
    "Oh, okay. A little more substance maybe? the tags look vague enough that it might be my notp though.. I guess I can risk it?"
    "The triangle includes a _Director/Writer..."_
    "OH! Okay. A little more diverse flavor profile"
    "And the _Director/Writer_ is the *other half of the OTP,*"
    *"NOT THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!! THIS is the goooood shit."*

  • @ashleymagbuhos2020
    @ashleymagbuhos2020 4 ปีที่แล้ว +409

    If this thing actually existed...
    "Can I get a collage au with a hint of angst, just a hint and a... Red string of fate."

    • @oktobelate2580
      @oktobelate2580 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      SHE LEFT THAT OUT AND I FORGOT!!! TwT

    • @stars4809
      @stars4809 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I had a real surprise red string connected to someone today. Though, it was because a ribbon on my costume was coming undone and my cat noticed.
      Destined to be a crazy cat lady-

    • @sageleaf8962
      @sageleaf8962 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Strings of Fate?

    • @youraverageweeabu8452
      @youraverageweeabu8452 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Me with
      "Can I get a highschool au where the school's students have certain powers, 3 gay ships and one straight, 75k - 100k word count, 4 pumps of angst on every ship, and add more than 3 cups of abuse, self harm, mentions of suicide, oh, did I forget that the main characters were childhood friends drifted apart?.... Also, I would also like an x depressed reader, angst of course, with a 25k - 50k word count"

  • @ray-the-great09
    @ray-the-great09 4 ปีที่แล้ว +174

    4:52 best part by far.
    "WhY iS iT sPiCy?" In the most raspy and confused voice- omg 😂😂

  • @rory_creates1269
    @rory_creates1269 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    This is on my list of “Things we all want but are too lazy/embarrassed to do it ourselves”

  • @brony4869
    @brony4869 4 ปีที่แล้ว +196

    Me: enters the cafe and decide that they feeling nostalgic and want to revisit an old favorite that is sure to have new meaning with the context of recent self revelations.
    The fic: has been not only discontinued, but has been erased without a trace.

    • @brony4869
      @brony4869 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      For real though, if anyone has an archived copy of the hannah Montana fanfic about oliver getting turned into a girl via magic, mostly just goes with the flow with it and then chooses to stay a girl when the ability to reverse the magic is found. Yeah, if anyone has a copy of it, please lemme haz. Iirc, it was called like "One of the Girls"

    • @zombbb9497
      @zombbb9497 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Eastwind4869 I’ll be sure to look for it tonite !!

    • @Jenny-vo2ik
      @Jenny-vo2ik 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      I can remember so many fics that have been discontinued/lost/erased, and every time I'm reminded of them, I die a little on the inside.

    • @jordanfleming7022
      @jordanfleming7022 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thats why I screenshot any fic I like, and then copy it into my phone’s note app.

  • @hithere5931
    @hithere5931 4 ปีที่แล้ว +274

    Could I take a well written fanfic, with good plot, hold back a little bit with romance and add more friendship, and family development.
    Waiter: yes, but it will take like hours to make and find.
    Fine I’ll just take angst.

    • @cass-the-vtuber-simpfu-cha7418
      @cass-the-vtuber-simpfu-cha7418 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      That’s meeeeeeeew

    • @pakki6555
      @pakki6555 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I'm actually writing that rn and you just called me out I-

    • @Ikajo
      @Ikajo 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Do you read Marvel fics? Not to be a braggart but I might have the kind of stuff you want. I'm on AO3

    • @warrickdmuller811
      @warrickdmuller811 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I have been working on a story like that except with a little harem on top

    • @untitledmeow
      @untitledmeow 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      😳 my fandom is super active, there's like 1K new fics every week and I see one of those passing by my feed (or in fav tags) every now and then. i'm actually writing one atm :D

  • @v.sc..
    @v.sc.. 4 ปีที่แล้ว +563

    4:49
    “Hey, waiter! Can I get another one-shot over here?!”
    *Yeah. That’s me.*

  • @WhenDidYtAddThis
    @WhenDidYtAddThis 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    the customer laughing like a maniac while running away with the dead dove is literally me

  • @the_mess_of_meff
    @the_mess_of_meff 4 ปีที่แล้ว +526

    Self-hating-crying-myself-to-sleep frappe:
    - 2 tablespoons of scolding hot slowburn
    - 4 drops of your favourite miscommunications
    - 1.5 tablespoon of excessive crying
    - 2 pinches of jealousy
    - 1 tablespoon of mourning
    - 0.5 drop of unrequited love
    - 2 pinches of happiness or fluff. (this makes it that your drink is both easier and harder for a customer)
    - 2 tablespoons of your favourite cliche, if your customer doesn't specify (enemies to lovers, childhood friends, you know)
    - 3 pinches of pure angst (no more! we don't want end with "and everyone died. the end!" smoothie)
    And, last but not least
    - 1 drop of major character death (some put less, but trust me on this)
    stir well, we don't want any plotholes, decorate with normalisation cream, sprinkle with some attachment beforehand and glass crumbs (don't go overboard)
    serve cool with a spoon and napkins.
    and eat!
    Of course, it's a whole drink, but you can use it as a base. Go wild!
    honestly, the fanfic cafe is such a small niche, I really like that it's getting attention it deserves.

    • @Spooopy_Ghost
      @Spooopy_Ghost 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      I would drink that sh*t like a drug

    • @rae2802
      @rae2802 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Then i would immediantly regret it but continue to drink it

    • @_developing-arc_9250
      @_developing-arc_9250 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      And that’s my usual for the rest of my life
      I would also love some rare pair crumbs on the side

    • @the_mess_of_meff
      @the_mess_of_meff 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@_developing-arc_9250 thank you for choosing our frappe! fortunately, you can order other toppings also

    • @perrobang8925
      @perrobang8925 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Honestly tried this. And i thought it to be too intense for my taste. But i found making 2 tsp of mourning with only 1 tablespoon of excessive crying makes it less potent and blends it all out altogether. Also to make it less emotional crippling, substitute major death with mock death. But that's just me.

  • @elokin300
    @elokin300 4 ปีที่แล้ว +175

    It hurts so much when you find an au that only has one or two fanfics that haven’t been updated since 2015.

    • @AC-hx6gk
      @AC-hx6gk 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Me with axetale. Like, goddammit.

    • @kyras1291
      @kyras1291 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Well your fkn luck I can relate to that *sees negatale*

    • @azharel._.11
      @azharel._.11 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Damn, that happened to me. And when the ship is so rare that only has 2 or 3 fics and you're scared to do one fic because you feel that they call out you for a stupid story.

    • @a_creative_namee
      @a_creative_namee 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      me with birdtale
      also mobtale

  • @puppens101
    @puppens101 4 ปีที่แล้ว +144

    *"I could sue you for emotional damage!"*
    Anyone that I've ever talked to about my stories

    • @mony8112
      @mony8112 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I like the emotional damage, crying is cleaning the soul

    • @redhausser7492
      @redhausser7492 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      sounds like every new writer that uses script format asking me to review their attempts of writting a coherent fanfic.

    • @puppens101
      @puppens101 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@redhausser7492 M e, but I write the whole story in my head and as soon as I try writing it, well.......🌋

    • @redhausser7492
      @redhausser7492 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@puppens101 oof. Well it happens

  • @endergirl0798
    @endergirl0798 3 ปีที่แล้ว +234

    "Hi!"
    "Hello, what can I get for you?"
    "Um, i'd like an unrequited love with boatloads of angst, miscommunication, hurt, and yearning?"
    "You- you *what* ?"
    "Um- I said-"
    "No I know what you said, my problem is wHY WOULD ANYONE WILLINGLY SUBJECT THEMSELVES TO THAT??"

    • @lilylight8382
      @lilylight8382 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Can relate

    • @asterisque9252
      @asterisque9252 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Well, i love those...? Guilty pleasure

    • @anica7438
      @anica7438 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      reads this on the daily. Can confirm.

    • @GenericClient
      @GenericClient ปีที่แล้ว +10

      "Oh, also, do you serve any 'depression' here?"
      "No, only angst, but its basically the same thing-"
      "NO! I need depression to!!!"
      *"WHY DO YOU TORTURE YOURSELF---"*

  • @maxgevans
    @maxgevans 4 ปีที่แล้ว +78

    "go to horny jail" - The vast majority of the internet belongs there lol

  • @starrynights1067
    @starrynights1067 4 ปีที่แล้ว +221

    Coley: I can't in good conscience sell this to you
    Kid: I DO NOT FEAR THE DARK SIDE AS YOU DO

    • @kayley6169
      @kayley6169 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Lol I love your pfp

    • @luanunes14
      @luanunes14 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@sageleaf3648 LOL

    • @luanunes14
      @luanunes14 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      True!

  • @theloganator5738
    @theloganator5738 4 ปีที่แล้ว +152

    If it was real, my go-to would be a one-shot fluff with cuddling and kisses and a teaspoon of hurt and comfort

    • @mony8112
      @mony8112 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Gi'me the ships I'll give you the fic

    • @mo0nflowersart
      @mo0nflowersart 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Me too with extra fluff.

    • @dreamybombstudios724
      @dreamybombstudios724 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@mony8112 really? Do tell