OP here - For some small additional context - I never spoke to said friend about any of my issues. (I did not want to discuss it with anybody until I was ready.) - I told Kip about my ongoing issues but he would dismiss it by bringing up other topics / would rather talk about other things. (I think this is where a lot of misunderstanding is.) When you reach out to a partner for support, It is very disheartening when that is brushed off. I appreciate all the kind comments, We simply were not compatible and it just ended in an unfortunate manner. The best you can do is take away from such an experience, try to grow and work on yourself better as a person. ♥
Thank you for the clarifications. I guess the silver lining is that all this happened before you or him made a big move to the other's country (assuming neither of you had done that).
You are a liar... In your own story you say "I hadn't exactly told him what was going on in my life and was going through a really hard time"(5:44 is the exact time of the quote) and that you felt he "was an emotionally closed off person". So you not only didn't tell him about your problems, but didn't even give him a chance to be there for you because of your assumptions. If you are going to try to change the story, at least make sure there's not written proof opposite of what you are now saying.
You need to realize that shutting him out for a month - and yes, I get that you were going through a VERY rough time - but consider, you're saying "I want to be with him, have children, and spend the rest of our lives together..." but as soon as you have a major issue you completely shut him out, say - "I need a month" - but then turn to ANOTHER person? ^^^ If that's indeed the case, either there's something more about Kip you're not saying, or you yourself really aren't that committed to being together. He might have supported you in that situation but you didn't even want to give him a chance to - then later, you just expect him to support you whenever YOU feel you need support from him... And yes, he did some really crappy stuff here too, but from what I hear in this story you shut him out first and went to another (I assume) male friend for support, and said to Kip: "Give me my space..." If someone I was in a relationship for 3 years with, and planning to marry did that to me, yeah, I be wondering "What? I guess she really doesn't trust me..." Now I don't know just what kind of headspace you were in during that time, but if you felt you couldn't/didn't want to turn to someone you supposedly wanted to spend the rest of your life with
I do hope you are able to actually take away some wisdom from this. Like every other OP of these drama stories, you exposed your own glaring flaws that need attention. Best of luck to you, though. ❤
This is not a "kind comment." "He's emotionally closed off." "I didn't tell him what I was going through." tbh it sounds like you're the architect of your own relationship's drama. Yes, real life tragedies suck, but instead of reaching out to your partner you decided to tell him nothing and instead ran to another guy...? Regardless of whether or not your interactions with said guy were innocent, that's the wrong answer. Stick by your partner always, but also **allow them to stick by you.** You should have ended the relationship as soon as you realized you couldn't/wouldn't trust your partner to be able to help you through your tough times, instead of stringing him along for weeks. Instead it sounds like you were trying to hold onto the thought of having a relationship while basically acting like you weren't in a relationship. It's actually crazy to think you can say you're serious with someone but give them the silent treatment for weeks. The script doesn't specify if Kip said he was disappointed because of the false pregnancy or if he was specifically disappointed in *you,* which is a pretty important distinction. You also broke up with him and then got surprised when he moved on...? You say he's emotionally closed off but then he tells you, albeit indirectly, that you've hurt him and your reaction is to brush his feelings aside and focus entirely on how things made *you* feel. "I think I might have (had) feelings for someone else," probably wasn't meant as something to hurt you, it's a way of saying, "Your actions have consequences, you're losing me." I hope for the sake of your current and/or future partners that you develop some emotional maturity, because it sounds like you created this drama, gaslit your partner, and then decided to share the story because you wanted the sympathy. YTA.
As a almost solo player, these stories sound so surreal to me lol People barely talk to me in game - maybe because I play a Highlander girl, nobody likes Hyur lol
Not sure that race has much to do with it, I've payed Miqo'te female since ARR dropped and have multiple Au Ra female alts, have never gotten any of these random creeper messages from people in game lol. Which I'm perfectly fine with being a straight guy, but I also don't exactly advertise my irl gender. Weirdest part is I also spent YEARS on Balmung back when you'd see futa and ERP shouts the second you teleported into Ul'dah and Limsa.
I don't understand why op didn't talk to Kip about the struggles op was facing??? Op and kip were in a relationship at that point so why would op open up to the guy friend about it instead? Something is missing here.
It's possible that the issues were things she felt she couldn't talk to him about because she knew he wouldn't be impartial to them and she needed the impartial stance to help figure things out. It happens that way sometimes.
Hell nah if my partner shoves me away without saying anything and goes to chat with another man they better not expect to come back. If you feel like you can't open up to your partner then say so and if it doesn't work, then establish your needs firmly or break-up. I feel like there are subtle nudges to push a narrative here, like mentioning how Kip is a low motivation individual and had no job even though that's not really relevant to the situation. Complaining that Kip was ''crying to her'' after soft ghosting him. What about his feelings? Weren't they brushed off? The list goes on. OP is not ready for a relationship.
Ah yes, let's push YOUR FIANCE, THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE away because they're not open emotionally, and whine they're crying to you, confused and wanting to help.. AND THEN TELL THE GUY TO NOT TELL ANYONE ABOUT IT!! Holy crap what a manipulative person.
I agree, most OPs of these stories are literal children. They are not above their problems. 😂 This chick is obviously a manupulative child, not that her partner was great, but christ this is a repetitive theme in these dramas. The writers are blind to their blatant, glaring flaws and just want validation. 🙄
@@TheEvilMinion I don't know what you're talking about. Nobody hurt me. I'm baffled by how ridiculous the OP is, and express it the way I want to in the comment section. There's nothing wrong with that.
@@Jaxz69-uj4if By that sentence alone, she's entitled to express her feelings the way she wants to with the issues and problems she had. There's nothing wrong with that either.
You have plans to move to another country to be with this person. You already have the wedding planned. His mother already paid for your wedding dress. This is the same person who gave another couple the advice of 'You just need to communicate more' But then she literally locks him out of her life due to personal issues and won't even tell him what is going on. I get that these can be troubling times. But I've been on his end of the relationship before, someone who tries to deal with the problem themself, who just becomes closed off when they get emotional and doesn't know how to express themselves. There are few things worse than being in a relationship, seeing the person you think you love suffering, and not only does every attempt you make to help them or make them feel better fall flat, but they won't even let you be a part of it. You feel helpless, and honestly, it can easily lead you to the conclusion that you aren't that important to them. That when they start having a hard time, they are going to shut you out just like everyone else because you are only a part of their life when they feel like they want you to be. It gives them the thought that you're just a game to them, and that when things get bad in their life, they need to drop all the 'silly' things that don't matter and focus on themselves... and considering they aren't talking to you... you must be one of those things. I have mental health issues like you wouldn't believe, and I don't mean 'I feel sad', I have been to a therapist, I have taken official tests, and let's just say my mental and emotional issues are many. My dad even passed away out of nowhere, only in his mid 50s. And the person I was with was the person I looked to for support... not lock them out of my life. When you tell someone 'I'm going through a really hard time, I'll discuss it with you when I feel up to it'. That gives them the thought of... okay, then who are you discussing it with. Who is a part of this. Who is helping you. Because you know you aren't just sitting there alone all day every day. So if you go to someone for support about your issues... that person must clearly be more important than the person you claim to be in a relationship. Why have you locked this person you are apparently going to marry out of your life but you're fine talking to other friends? How in the world do you not think that's going to make him feel like he's the problem? What possible reason for locking him out could there be except that he's the one causing issues? It's not about 'as if I can only talk to him and nobody else when I'm upset'. It's the fact that you completely locked him out. Like the excuse of 'Because I was so overwhelmed' keeps coming up... but why wasn't she 'so overwhelmed' that she couldn't talk to the other guy? "Since Yusef wasn't directly involved in any of this, it felt like somewhere I could be safe" Okay so you're admitting that even though nothing you have said was his fault... you consider Kip 'directly involved in it' and that you can't be safe with him? I'm sorry but is nobody else picking up on these red flags... it goes both ways. Also continues to treat him like the villain in the story after she leaves him and then keeps trying to tell him how their relationship needs to change... yeah, hate to say it, sounds like you lost him, he's done with you. Also of course she takes the girl's side going on about the pregnancy thing and how 'guys only think about themselves'. Maybe you missed the part where he never told her... you know, NOT upsetting her with how he felt, and keeping it to himself, almost like he knew it wasn't her fault and didn't want to make her feel like it was? Yeah, he opened up and said how much he loved her and still wanted to be together... then she said 'Aight, well I'm gonna not talk to you for 8 days and act like nothing happened'. Of course he moved on. When you love someone, just a day or two of no contact hurts. And the fact that she was able to cut contact with him so many times and all she felt was annoyed that he was trying to break the silence? And the issue of "I can't believe he didn't tell me!" ... after locking him out of her life and not telling him why she wasn't talking to him. I don't think she loved him at all. I think she just didn't like the idea of change, and felt the dread that it was coming regardless. My point in all this is that, neither of them is perfect. This isn't a 'I needed space and he abandoned me' story. There are two sides to this story and if you just immediately accept this as a drama story and that the one telling it is our protagonist and therefor clearly the guy who ended up leaving her must be the antagonist, then you will see all the faults with him. But if you accept that we are all human beings with our own feelings, our own problems, and our own lives, then you need to look at it closer and accept that they both made mistakes, and that a lot of the things he did that upset her, she also did right back to him. And no... being cut off from the person you love for 8 days is not a short amount of time, not when you really love them.
I have mixed feelings on this story, I feel... Communication could have saved this, no? Though Kip is a rat and a walking red flag, I can't help but squint when OP asked for space for a week without divulging what happened and why they were feeling this way? Kip even tried to talk but OP shut it down and just asked for Kip to understand? I find it bizarre personally because at the time Kip wasn't a random friend or person, Kip was OP's fiance. Telling Kip that you are in need of help or some comfort despite him being emotionally closed off would have worked better than telling him you wanted space for a week with no context as to why. On top of that, just to be in Kip's shoes for a second; your fiance tells you they need space with no clear reason as to why and then you see said fiance hanging, talking and doing stuff with another person, how...? how are you not meant to feel a sort of way y'know? OP even describing Yusef as "somewhere that I could be safe" rather than feeling safe by going to the fiance that you were meant to spend your life with... I just don't think OP and Kip were ever meant to be. Kip is no better and needs to pull his head in and try to properly talk rather than stick his nose in other peoples business, certainly talking and making judgements all the while living in his damn glass house. Imagine seeking advice from the drama that you thrive off just to become involved all the while telling countless lies to OP too. Whatever, I hope OP and Kip are living better individual lives.
I agree with your points. I think it sounded like OP would talk normally or maybe try to tell Kip but he would rather talk about other games? Maybe there was a disconnect whenever they did try to communicate and so it made OP want to distance themselves.
I don't feel like you can hear one side of a story like this over the course of 15 minutes and come to the conclusion that 'he's a rat, and a walking red flag'. Like holy shit who are you to call someone a rat when you don't even know them and have only heard one side of the story. She locked him out of her life despite him being her fiance. SHE broke up with HIM. And when he still stuck around and said he loved her and wanted to be with her, she basically gave him the middle finger and cut contact again for a further 8 days. I really wish Pathra and her chat would stop acting like 2 weeks of the person you love locking you out of their life is even remotely a small amount of time. It's enough time to break someone, easily.
@@bellidrael7457 Yeah? I know? I literally agree with everything you're saying but that doesn't mean he's innocent either no? But does it make sense for him to continually tell op he loved them all the while cozying up to someone that he KNOWS to be problematic and always surrounded by drama? It's almost like you ignored everything I said about OP too. Communication could have helped tremendously but the two never did that but this could have also worked in their favour as well; if their engagement didn't make it this far then that's fine and maybe the best solution for both parties. Maybe they'll be able to have more fulfilling lives rather than whatever was told in this story. I agree with hearing one side, It's always a problem with these stories, hence why in my comment I was looking from Kip's pov. Still I called him those because in general why surround yourself with problematic people when you should surround yourself with good ones but instead.. ran to Lucy, y'know?
@@pathra That's fair, I definitely didn't see it from that perspective. I definitely came from Kip's side more because I wouldn't have appreciated my fiance keeping me in the dark but still be seen hanging with someone else. I know people don't have the right to your time and all... But I couldn't get past that Kip wasn't just someone, he was a fiance and who OP would be building a future with. I just really believe communication is so important in relationships especially to avoid such things like this :(
It’s interesting to see all takes. We don’t get a whole lot of information and it is one side of the story in the end of the day. It’s open to interpretation 😊
I think where the girl went wrong was spending a lot of time with another man when she said she needed space. He was ok with it at first but it seemed to become an issue when she started spending the time she said she needed from him with Yusuf... I think he wished she could have talked to him more about it and tell him whats wrong instead of just pushing me off because hes "not really good at helping emotionally" I think if a partner really love you they'd want to know what happened and why you are pulling away from them. He could of just not give af and let her spend all her time with that guy but no he did. I think he went to the dragon girl and expressed his feelings to her and she expressed her relationship problems with him as well and that's when they started to form their feelings. He probably felt like "she was here while you were busy spending your time away with some other guy and refusing to tell me what was wrong with you" I think he overreacted and cheated while assuming she did... In a relationship you have to communicate to eachother and not hide things, if you want to marry someone most likely you see each other as one, the other half of you that you finally found. I think all of this could have been avoided but hey they weren't able to and it wasn't meant to be! I hope they find happiness in their new relationships and learn how to be in a real commited one🎉
This whole story feels like a victim card, OP was wrong from the start and even broke up with the fiance while giving a cold shoulder earlier. This relationship wasn't going to work anyway, if apparently don't have enough respect to indulge your worries to fiance at the start and leave him hanging when already long distance is difficult. Also something is missing in the story, all I hear is how Kip is this and that, no self reflection
I would agree, but also I hope people realize this is almost always the case. The OPs of these stories are nearly always just as flawed as the one's they're gossiping about.
16:11 yep. been there. & told "i love you" & "i love the life weve built together" often. then, "i dont love you anymore" after 12 years with no other explanation. tried to fix things but nothing was good enough. i will admit after a while i just kinda gave up, because trying to fix things doesnt matter if the other half doesnt want to try too. the "i love you"s & talking about how the life wed built was so nice were only weeks before so i felt completely blindsided
Like another commentator, i have mixed feelings about this story. More specifically, the asking for space but then spending that time with another person who they claim was their 'safe place'. Most people would find this situation upsetting, especially someone who has difficulty being emotionally available but was trying to be that emotional support for their SO and also trying to be understanding. I think there is something fundamentally wrong with a relationship if anyone in that relationship is okay with a week of distance and no explanation of why. On the other hand, to be so quick to throw away an engagement in favor of someone else and then spread false information about their ex behind their back is equally extremely disappointing. It's emotional immaturity. Communication is key to any relationship and it was pretty clear they both needed to work on it and were not ready to marry. Speaking of... I also wanted to point out what was being discussed starting at 8:16 and the comparison being made by you which feels a bit unfair. It's a heavy subject for both parties but just because one person expresses how they feel on the matter, doesn't automatically mean they're blaming the opposite party. Like the situation above, it's a communication issue. You have to be comfortable sharing your feelings about the excitement of having a child and the devestation of that not happening. It's nobodies fault, but that doesn't mean we can't both be in pain and help each other heal by talking about it. That's what it means to be in a healthy relationship. Which this clearly was not. I wouldn't be surprised if Kip was trying to blame her for what happened, but it feels disingenuous to draw comparisons of a partner expressing their disappointment on a deeply painful event as that person only caring about themselves (or only caring about their pleasure during sex à la a certain someone in Love is Blind). Like the mother, the father too would be in pain and his safe space is supposed to be his SO. He should be able to express that pain to her and vice versa. That's how you avoid things like week long distancing with no explanation leading to year long relationships ending in a matter of weeks. Of course in the end, that assumes this conversation is had with good intention and given the context i can't say for sure either way.
Love, love, LOVE your videos!! You are in my top “TH-cam gaming wrap” (Spotify thingy, lmao I dunno what it’s called) since I’ve started playing xiv this year. Me and my friends religiously have these playing in the background when we’re doing a chill sesh. ❤️
the whiplash i was having listening to this and then hearing my name, "shio" and for a second i almost thought it was about me and hten i had to remember i didnt date anyone in this game named Lucy 😳
I’ll never understand women/men that say they need space then the next second they go and hang out non stop with the opposite sex. Had a friend like this and this is why we never talk anymore. Lmao Weird…
as a new ffxiv player I am using these videos as research and I wanted to leave a huge thank you, these videos will save me hours of heartache, drama and conflict resolution 😭
Op sounds ridiculous. They wanted thier space but is mad when they boo moved on. He wanted to know how she felt to help but she need space so didn’t open up to him. Idk she seems pretty selfish. Sometimes y’all really only think from a girls perspective. He tried at 1st
I question is Pathra or her chat have ever been in a serious relationship or had to go through these issues, because they act like 2 weeks of being shut out by your partner is such a little amount of time. Even a day or two of the person you love not speaking to you hurts. 2 weeks of being repeatedly shut out of their life is more than enough time to break someone. Not to mention she was clearly find talking to other people. She considered him a part of her problems, judging by how she said the other guy she was talking to was 'not a part of the problem and someone she could feel safe with'. That means to her, her fiance, someone she supposedly intended to move to another country for and marry and have kids with... was a part of her problems, and someone she couldn't feel safe with. Imagine how that feels if you're Kip.
GETTING HIT WITH THE PATHRA FRIDAY SPECIAL THIS MORNING - Thank you for giving me something to listen to at work and for the upload as always! We appreciate you queen
Im so sorry to op :( clearly pulling the weight of communicating and when something happens that makes her need to focus on herself for once, her partner gets super jealous and cheats instead of trying to support her in the way she asked. A week is such a short amount of time. I lived with a friend who was in an extremely similar situation and it was so upsetting to see. I'm glad op was able to get out, even if it wasn't on her own terms. Cause if you dont feel like you can have serious conversations with your partner, especially when it matters, things only go downhill.
OP shouldn't have shut their partner out. If my boyfriend did that, I would be very upset too. However, Kip really messed up and I'm happy for OP that they showed their true colors. It didn't take too much for Kip's loyalty to break. Bye bye Kip!
'Didn't take much' She broke up with him. So I'm sorry if I'm not understanding where you're coming from with 'loyalty' because he said he still loved her, and wanted to be together, and she shut him out AGAIN for 8 days straight. Not sure if you've ever been in love with somebody, but being shut out for even a day or two hurts. For all the speeches in this video about 'men only thinking about themselves' she sure overlooked the part where she shut him out, he was upset, and she victimized herself in that situation as if he shouldn't be upset that she's literally locking the person she's supposedly going to marry out of her life for weeks at a time.
@@bellidrael7457from your initial long post you said you weren’t trying to put the blame on anybody but it sure seems like you’re dead set on blaming the person who shared this with pathra lmao
My loyalty would falter too if my partner shut me out for a week or more only to got to another guy for suport, to someon e she called a safe place, THAT just sounds like she's not telling the whole story. you definitely wouldn't just call any old friend your 'safe place'. I think her loyalty left the moment she pushed Kip away, in all honesty.
"I hope he is happy in life" yea i don't lmao. as someone who lost my gf and the only girl i been with to have considered "the one" before her to her best friend. i will tell you: a)to never trust the "he's just a friend" and b)that it's ok to move on but just not wish them a happy life. you can be indifferent it's fine really. It's hard and betrayal trauma is one of the worst feelings out there tho and i fully understand that. all power to op and her and i genuinely wish her the best in her future and that i'm sure she'll find someone even better than a dude that is ok with ruining everything for a couple weeks
Yeah I can confirm two weeks is enough for some of those hopeless romantics to assume they met their soul mates enough to throw away years of relationships....ugh (eye roll)
I think because its a video games people feel like they can fool around and not get repercussions the same way irl they would like in a grander scale. They can fool around for a year then break it off and toss it withing a month. There are good people but there also bad and weird af people too.
OP sounds like she went radio silent on her fiancé and he didn't take that too well. After that it just seems like a communication breakdown. They lost faith in each other. If you are not willing to 100% communicate with your fiancé you don't have a relationship you have a mistake.
Story like this makes me glad i an anti social for the most part in 14(male lala so i never really get interactions at all outside of the occasional head pats)
Guys will always think that if a girl talk to someone else, it's because she doesn't want to talk to them. And we also know that a guy that "has no feelings" and "is just friendly" and is "just my friend", has in mind, because we think exactly the same and every relationship we have is in the hope of having more. Sorry to break it to you girls.
Uhm... the story literally said that she was talking to another guy because he 'wasn't a part of the problem and was someone she could feel safe with' which is openly saying that Kip was in fact 'part of the problem' and 'someone she could NOT feel safe with'. If that's how you feel about your fiance... you need to break it off immediately.
I had issues with someone who was a lizard person who was obsessed with other lizard characters and majority of them were definitely trash. Ill say Hroth are probably the most friendless people youll ever meet. Majority are also gay but like maybe thats why they are super friendly. It goes without saying there are some weirdos in every setting.
Kip sounds like a horse's arse and OP is probably better off in the long run with their new relationship. That being said people you're very close to deserve at least an outline of what's distressing you. Something short and simple like "I lost someone very important to me and I just need time alone right now." I lost my best friend of 16 years since middle school in 2018 and it's the worst pain I've felt in my life. I spent 5 days straight doing nothing but bawling in my room but none of my friends were wondering what was going on with me because I gave them the Cliffsnotes. SOs especially tend to internalize that lack of communication as it being something they did.
haven't finished vid yet and both kip and op doesn't seem like the best or sharpest people, and im not being mean when i say this but kip isnt in school or working. "i want to have kids" should not be in the vocabulary of a neet or anyone in a similar situation. children are very expensive to care for and while i dont believe in the whole manly men are the breadwinner gender roles and what not, someone who has no life prospects shouldn't be telling a women they are disappointed they didnt have their kid, like you cant take care of yourself, them, or the child
Yeah. She can go find some other guy to get into a relationship with then cut contact with once she's feeling 'overwhelmed' emotionally and find the idiot that's still going to be waiting for her after she does it multiple times.
What a awful take lol. Not everyone needs to be motivated or ambitious, and the fact that he got a job when he realized he wanted to be with her is commendable, not something to hold against him. And really,? You are going to complain about lackluster jobs? Not everyone can have a job that pays 6 figures. Plus you are only hearing HER side of the story and the pinned comment proves that she is a liar.
OP here - For some small additional context
- I never spoke to said friend about any of my issues. (I did not want to discuss it with anybody until I was ready.)
- I told Kip about my ongoing issues but he would dismiss it by bringing up other topics / would rather talk about other things. (I think this is where a lot of misunderstanding is.)
When you reach out to a partner for support, It is very disheartening when that is brushed off.
I appreciate all the kind comments, We simply were not compatible and it just ended in an unfortunate manner.
The best you can do is take away from such an experience, try to grow and work on yourself better as a person. ♥
Thank you for the clarifications. I guess the silver lining is that all this happened before you or him made a big move to the other's country (assuming neither of you had done that).
You are a liar... In your own story you say "I hadn't exactly told him what was going on in my life and was going through a really hard time"(5:44 is the exact time of the quote) and that you felt he "was an emotionally closed off person". So you not only didn't tell him about your problems, but didn't even give him a chance to be there for you because of your assumptions. If you are going to try to change the story, at least make sure there's not written proof opposite of what you are now saying.
You need to realize that shutting him out for a month - and yes, I get that you were going through a VERY rough time - but consider, you're saying "I want to be with him, have children, and spend the rest of our lives together..." but as soon as you have a major issue you completely shut him out, say - "I need a month" - but then turn to ANOTHER person?
^^^
If that's indeed the case, either there's something more about Kip you're not saying, or you yourself really aren't that committed to being together. He might have supported you in that situation but you didn't even want to give him a chance to - then later, you just expect him to support you whenever YOU feel you need support from him...
And yes, he did some really crappy stuff here too, but from what I hear in this story you shut him out first and went to another (I assume) male friend for support, and said to Kip: "Give me my space..."
If someone I was in a relationship for 3 years with, and planning to marry did that to me, yeah, I be wondering "What? I guess she really doesn't trust me..."
Now I don't know just what kind of headspace you were in during that time, but if you felt you couldn't/didn't want to turn to someone you supposedly wanted to spend the rest of your life with
I do hope you are able to actually take away some wisdom from this. Like every other OP of these drama stories, you exposed your own glaring flaws that need attention. Best of luck to you, though. ❤
This is not a "kind comment."
"He's emotionally closed off." "I didn't tell him what I was going through." tbh it sounds like you're the architect of your own relationship's drama. Yes, real life tragedies suck, but instead of reaching out to your partner you decided to tell him nothing and instead ran to another guy...? Regardless of whether or not your interactions with said guy were innocent, that's the wrong answer. Stick by your partner always, but also **allow them to stick by you.**
You should have ended the relationship as soon as you realized you couldn't/wouldn't trust your partner to be able to help you through your tough times, instead of stringing him along for weeks. Instead it sounds like you were trying to hold onto the thought of having a relationship while basically acting like you weren't in a relationship. It's actually crazy to think you can say you're serious with someone but give them the silent treatment for weeks.
The script doesn't specify if Kip said he was disappointed because of the false pregnancy or if he was specifically disappointed in *you,* which is a pretty important distinction. You also broke up with him and then got surprised when he moved on...? You say he's emotionally closed off but then he tells you, albeit indirectly, that you've hurt him and your reaction is to brush his feelings aside and focus entirely on how things made *you* feel. "I think I might have (had) feelings for someone else," probably wasn't meant as something to hurt you, it's a way of saying, "Your actions have consequences, you're losing me."
I hope for the sake of your current and/or future partners that you develop some emotional maturity, because it sounds like you created this drama, gaslit your partner, and then decided to share the story because you wanted the sympathy. YTA.
As a almost solo player, these stories sound so surreal to me lol People barely talk to me in game - maybe because I play a Highlander girl, nobody likes Hyur lol
As an Elezen girl same, we get no whispers 😂
As someone who used to get a lot of whispers when i rolled fem Hyur lowlander; You're really not missing out on much 😂
Not sure that race has much to do with it, I've payed Miqo'te female since ARR dropped and have multiple Au Ra female alts, have never gotten any of these random creeper messages from people in game lol. Which I'm perfectly fine with being a straight guy, but I also don't exactly advertise my irl gender. Weirdest part is I also spent YEARS on Balmung back when you'd see futa and ERP shouts the second you teleported into Ul'dah and Limsa.
@@finn5448 I love Elezen girls so much, their horse riding pose is so elegant
@@cameronsummers2673 I hadn't considered the dubious side of it, ew lol
that girl orchestrating the disruption of her own wedding is wild LMAO
I don't understand why op didn't talk to Kip about the struggles op was facing??? Op and kip were in a relationship at that point so why would op open up to the guy friend about it instead? Something is missing here.
OP also has a couple of red flags, I feel like
Omitted for reasons……..
Hahah maybe this friend became the lovely new relationship 😅
It's possible that the issues were things she felt she couldn't talk to him about because she knew he wouldn't be impartial to them and she needed the impartial stance to help figure things out. It happens that way sometimes.
This is exactly what I’m saying, than op gets mad that Kip was talking to the other girl, make it make sense.
Hell nah if my partner shoves me away without saying anything and goes to chat with another man they better not expect to come back. If you feel like you can't open up to your partner then say so and if it doesn't work, then establish your needs firmly or break-up. I feel like there are subtle nudges to push a narrative here, like mentioning how Kip is a low motivation individual and had no job even though that's not really relevant to the situation. Complaining that Kip was ''crying to her'' after soft ghosting him. What about his feelings? Weren't they brushed off? The list goes on. OP is not ready for a relationship.
Ah yes, let's push YOUR FIANCE, THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE away because they're not open emotionally, and whine they're crying to you, confused and wanting to help.. AND THEN TELL THE GUY TO NOT TELL ANYONE ABOUT IT!! Holy crap what a manipulative person.
I agree, most OPs of these stories are literal children. They are not above their problems. 😂 This chick is obviously a manupulative child, not that her partner was great, but christ this is a repetitive theme in these dramas. The writers are blind to their blatant, glaring flaws and just want validation. 🙄
Who hurt you?
@TheEvilMinion ? That's the way, don't think just feel
@@TheEvilMinion I don't know what you're talking about. Nobody hurt me. I'm baffled by how ridiculous the OP is, and express it the way I want to in the comment section. There's nothing wrong with that.
@@Jaxz69-uj4if By that sentence alone, she's entitled to express her feelings the way she wants to with the issues and problems she had. There's nothing wrong with that either.
The problem with these stories is that while being very entertaining; it only shows us 1 side of the story. Kipp needs to share his side as well.
If he wants to share he can submit a story! ^^
@pathra Hear, hear!
You have plans to move to another country to be with this person. You already have the wedding planned. His mother already paid for your wedding dress.
This is the same person who gave another couple the advice of 'You just need to communicate more'
But then she literally locks him out of her life due to personal issues and won't even tell him what is going on. I get that these can be troubling times. But I've been on his end of the relationship before, someone who tries to deal with the problem themself, who just becomes closed off when they get emotional and doesn't know how to express themselves. There are few things worse than being in a relationship, seeing the person you think you love suffering, and not only does every attempt you make to help them or make them feel better fall flat, but they won't even let you be a part of it. You feel helpless, and honestly, it can easily lead you to the conclusion that you aren't that important to them. That when they start having a hard time, they are going to shut you out just like everyone else because you are only a part of their life when they feel like they want you to be.
It gives them the thought that you're just a game to them, and that when things get bad in their life, they need to drop all the 'silly' things that don't matter and focus on themselves... and considering they aren't talking to you... you must be one of those things.
I have mental health issues like you wouldn't believe, and I don't mean 'I feel sad', I have been to a therapist, I have taken official tests, and let's just say my mental and emotional issues are many. My dad even passed away out of nowhere, only in his mid 50s. And the person I was with was the person I looked to for support... not lock them out of my life.
When you tell someone 'I'm going through a really hard time, I'll discuss it with you when I feel up to it'. That gives them the thought of... okay, then who are you discussing it with. Who is a part of this. Who is helping you. Because you know you aren't just sitting there alone all day every day. So if you go to someone for support about your issues... that person must clearly be more important than the person you claim to be in a relationship.
Why have you locked this person you are apparently going to marry out of your life but you're fine talking to other friends? How in the world do you not think that's going to make him feel like he's the problem? What possible reason for locking him out could there be except that he's the one causing issues?
It's not about 'as if I can only talk to him and nobody else when I'm upset'. It's the fact that you completely locked him out. Like the excuse of 'Because I was so overwhelmed' keeps coming up... but why wasn't she 'so overwhelmed' that she couldn't talk to the other guy?
"Since Yusef wasn't directly involved in any of this, it felt like somewhere I could be safe" Okay so you're admitting that even though nothing you have said was his fault... you consider Kip 'directly involved in it' and that you can't be safe with him? I'm sorry but is nobody else picking up on these red flags... it goes both ways.
Also continues to treat him like the villain in the story after she leaves him and then keeps trying to tell him how their relationship needs to change... yeah, hate to say it, sounds like you lost him, he's done with you.
Also of course she takes the girl's side going on about the pregnancy thing and how 'guys only think about themselves'. Maybe you missed the part where he never told her... you know, NOT upsetting her with how he felt, and keeping it to himself, almost like he knew it wasn't her fault and didn't want to make her feel like it was?
Yeah, he opened up and said how much he loved her and still wanted to be together... then she said 'Aight, well I'm gonna not talk to you for 8 days and act like nothing happened'. Of course he moved on. When you love someone, just a day or two of no contact hurts. And the fact that she was able to cut contact with him so many times and all she felt was annoyed that he was trying to break the silence? And the issue of "I can't believe he didn't tell me!" ... after locking him out of her life and not telling him why she wasn't talking to him.
I don't think she loved him at all. I think she just didn't like the idea of change, and felt the dread that it was coming regardless.
My point in all this is that, neither of them is perfect. This isn't a 'I needed space and he abandoned me' story. There are two sides to this story and if you just immediately accept this as a drama story and that the one telling it is our protagonist and therefor clearly the guy who ended up leaving her must be the antagonist, then you will see all the faults with him. But if you accept that we are all human beings with our own feelings, our own problems, and our own lives, then you need to look at it closer and accept that they both made mistakes, and that a lot of the things he did that upset her, she also did right back to him. And no... being cut off from the person you love for 8 days is not a short amount of time, not when you really love them.
I have mixed feelings on this story, I feel... Communication could have saved this, no?
Though Kip is a rat and a walking red flag, I can't help but squint when OP asked for space for a week without divulging what happened and why they were feeling this way? Kip even tried to talk but OP shut it down and just asked for Kip to understand?
I find it bizarre personally because at the time Kip wasn't a random friend or person, Kip was OP's fiance. Telling Kip that you are in need of help or some comfort despite him being emotionally closed off would have worked better than telling him you wanted space for a week with no context as to why. On top of that, just to be in Kip's shoes for a second; your fiance tells you they need space with no clear reason as to why and then you see said fiance hanging, talking and doing stuff with another person, how...? how are you not meant to feel a sort of way y'know? OP even describing Yusef as "somewhere that I could be safe" rather than feeling safe by going to the fiance that you were meant to spend your life with... I just don't think OP and Kip were ever meant to be.
Kip is no better and needs to pull his head in and try to properly talk rather than stick his nose in other peoples business, certainly talking and making judgements all the while living in his damn glass house. Imagine seeking advice from the drama that you thrive off just to become involved all the while telling countless lies to OP too.
Whatever, I hope OP and Kip are living better individual lives.
I agree with your points. I think it sounded like OP would talk normally or maybe try to tell Kip but he would rather talk about other games? Maybe there was a disconnect whenever they did try to communicate and so it made OP want to distance themselves.
I don't feel like you can hear one side of a story like this over the course of 15 minutes and come to the conclusion that 'he's a rat, and a walking red flag'. Like holy shit who are you to call someone a rat when you don't even know them and have only heard one side of the story.
She locked him out of her life despite him being her fiance. SHE broke up with HIM. And when he still stuck around and said he loved her and wanted to be with her, she basically gave him the middle finger and cut contact again for a further 8 days.
I really wish Pathra and her chat would stop acting like 2 weeks of the person you love locking you out of their life is even remotely a small amount of time. It's enough time to break someone, easily.
@@bellidrael7457 Yeah? I know? I literally agree with everything you're saying but that doesn't mean he's innocent either no? But does it make sense for him to continually tell op he loved them all the while cozying up to someone that he KNOWS to be problematic and always surrounded by drama?
It's almost like you ignored everything I said about OP too. Communication could have helped tremendously but the two never did that but this could have also worked in their favour as well; if their engagement didn't make it this far then that's fine and maybe the best solution for both parties. Maybe they'll be able to have more fulfilling lives rather than whatever was told in this story.
I agree with hearing one side, It's always a problem with these stories, hence why in my comment I was looking from Kip's pov. Still I called him those because in general why surround yourself with problematic people when you should surround yourself with good ones but instead.. ran to Lucy, y'know?
@@pathra That's fair, I definitely didn't see it from that perspective. I definitely came from Kip's side more because I wouldn't have appreciated my fiance keeping me in the dark but still be seen hanging with someone else. I know people don't have the right to your time and all... But I couldn't get past that Kip wasn't just someone, he was a fiance and who OP would be building a future with.
I just really believe communication is so important in relationships especially to avoid such things like this :(
It’s interesting to see all takes. We don’t get a whole lot of information and it is one side of the story in the end of the day. It’s open to interpretation 😊
I think where the girl went wrong was spending a lot of time with another man when she said she needed space.
He was ok with it at first but it seemed to become an issue when she started spending the time she said she needed from him with Yusuf...
I think he wished she could have talked to him more about it and tell him whats wrong instead of just pushing me off because hes "not really good at helping emotionally"
I think if a partner really love you they'd want to know what happened and why you are pulling away from them.
He could of just not give af and let her spend all her time with that guy but no he did.
I think he went to the dragon girl and expressed his feelings to her and she expressed her relationship problems with him as well and that's when they started to form their feelings.
He probably felt like "she was here while you were busy spending your time away with some other guy and refusing to tell me what was wrong with you"
I think he overreacted and cheated while assuming she did...
In a relationship you have to communicate to eachother and not hide things, if you want to marry someone most likely you see each other as one, the other half of you that you finally found.
I think all of this could have been avoided but hey they weren't able to and it wasn't meant to be!
I hope they find happiness in their new relationships and learn how to be in a real commited one🎉
Well said!
rafayel pfp in the wild +100000
This whole story feels like a victim card, OP was wrong from the start and even broke up with the fiance while giving a cold shoulder earlier. This relationship wasn't going to work anyway, if apparently don't have enough respect to indulge your worries to fiance at the start and leave him hanging when already long distance is difficult. Also something is missing in the story, all I hear is how Kip is this and that, no self reflection
I would agree, but also I hope people realize this is almost always the case. The OPs of these stories are nearly always just as flawed as the one's they're gossiping about.
Both OP and Kip were in the wrong.
16:11 yep. been there. & told "i love you" & "i love the life weve built together" often. then, "i dont love you anymore" after 12 years with no other explanation. tried to fix things but nothing was good enough. i will admit after a while i just kinda gave up, because trying to fix things doesnt matter if the other half doesnt want to try too. the "i love you"s & talking about how the life wed built was so nice were only weeks before so i felt completely blindsided
Like another commentator, i have mixed feelings about this story. More specifically, the asking for space but then spending that time with another person who they claim was their 'safe place'. Most people would find this situation upsetting, especially someone who has difficulty being emotionally available but was trying to be that emotional support for their SO and also trying to be understanding. I think there is something fundamentally wrong with a relationship if anyone in that relationship is okay with a week of distance and no explanation of why. On the other hand, to be so quick to throw away an engagement in favor of someone else and then spread false information about their ex behind their back is equally extremely disappointing. It's emotional immaturity. Communication is key to any relationship and it was pretty clear they both needed to work on it and were not ready to marry. Speaking of...
I also wanted to point out what was being discussed starting at 8:16 and the comparison being made by you which feels a bit unfair. It's a heavy subject for both parties but just because one person expresses how they feel on the matter, doesn't automatically mean they're blaming the opposite party. Like the situation above, it's a communication issue. You have to be comfortable sharing your feelings about the excitement of having a child and the devestation of that not happening. It's nobodies fault, but that doesn't mean we can't both be in pain and help each other heal by talking about it. That's what it means to be in a healthy relationship. Which this clearly was not. I wouldn't be surprised if Kip was trying to blame her for what happened, but it feels disingenuous to draw comparisons of a partner expressing their disappointment on a deeply painful event as that person only caring about themselves (or only caring about their pleasure during sex à la a certain someone in Love is Blind). Like the mother, the father too would be in pain and his safe space is supposed to be his SO. He should be able to express that pain to her and vice versa. That's how you avoid things like week long distancing with no explanation leading to year long relationships ending in a matter of weeks.
Of course in the end, that assumes this conversation is had with good intention and given the context i can't say for sure either way.
God I know its evil but I always find it hilarious how stunted these people are
Love, love, LOVE your videos!! You are in my top “TH-cam gaming wrap” (Spotify thingy, lmao I dunno what it’s called) since I’ve started playing xiv this year. Me and my friends religiously have these playing in the background when we’re doing a chill sesh. ❤️
"I just gave advice about having good communication with eachother" *proceeds to not communicate with their partner and spend time with another guy*
I'm on Kip's side; she wasn't talking to him, she sounded manipulative. Then is in shocked when he talks to someone when she didn't tell him anything.
the whiplash i was having listening to this and then hearing my name, "shio" and for a second i almost thought it was about me and hten i had to remember i didnt date anyone in this game named Lucy 😳
I’ll never understand women/men that say they need space then the next second they go and hang out non stop with the opposite sex. Had a friend like this and this is why we never talk anymore. Lmao Weird…
9/10 lizard people are unhinged, run away.
Hey wait a minute I’m a lizard too 😂
Can confirm 😂
When you know all the players involved. 😂
as a new ffxiv player I am using these videos as research and I wanted to leave a huge thank you, these videos will save me hours of heartache, drama and conflict resolution 😭
I feel like if I didn’t have kids and a husband I would have ended up on a similar path as this and I don’t know how I feel about that …
Op sounds ridiculous. They wanted thier space but is mad when they boo moved on. He wanted to know how she felt to help but she need space so didn’t open up to him. Idk she seems pretty selfish. Sometimes y’all really only think from a girls perspective. He tried at 1st
I question is Pathra or her chat have ever been in a serious relationship or had to go through these issues, because they act like 2 weeks of being shut out by your partner is such a little amount of time. Even a day or two of the person you love not speaking to you hurts. 2 weeks of being repeatedly shut out of their life is more than enough time to break someone.
Not to mention she was clearly find talking to other people. She considered him a part of her problems, judging by how she said the other guy she was talking to was 'not a part of the problem and someone she could feel safe with'. That means to her, her fiance, someone she supposedly intended to move to another country for and marry and have kids with... was a part of her problems, and someone she couldn't feel safe with.
Imagine how that feels if you're Kip.
@@bellidrael7457 The guy deserves better
GETTING HIT WITH THE PATHRA FRIDAY SPECIAL THIS MORNING - Thank you for giving me something to listen to at work and for the upload as always! We appreciate you queen
Lolll omg Rames! My jaw dropped when that scene happened!!
watching all these drama videos, I feel like I want to have some FFXIV drama too !!
Im so sorry to op :( clearly pulling the weight of communicating and when something happens that makes her need to focus on herself for once, her partner gets super jealous and cheats instead of trying to support her in the way she asked. A week is such a short amount of time.
I lived with a friend who was in an extremely similar situation and it was so upsetting to see. I'm glad op was able to get out, even if it wasn't on her own terms. Cause if you dont feel like you can have serious conversations with your partner, especially when it matters, things only go downhill.
OP shouldn't have shut their partner out. If my boyfriend did that, I would be very upset too.
However, Kip really messed up and I'm happy for OP that they showed their true colors. It didn't take too much for Kip's loyalty to break. Bye bye Kip!
'Didn't take much'
She broke up with him. So I'm sorry if I'm not understanding where you're coming from with 'loyalty' because he said he still loved her, and wanted to be together, and she shut him out AGAIN for 8 days straight. Not sure if you've ever been in love with somebody, but being shut out for even a day or two hurts.
For all the speeches in this video about 'men only thinking about themselves' she sure overlooked the part where she shut him out, he was upset, and she victimized herself in that situation as if he shouldn't be upset that she's literally locking the person she's supposedly going to marry out of her life for weeks at a time.
@@bellidrael7457from your initial long post you said you weren’t trying to put the blame on anybody but it sure seems like you’re dead set on blaming the person who shared this with pathra lmao
Her loyalty was broken first! Shutting your s/o down then go and spend time with another dude? Girl bye. I’m glad he moved on…
My loyalty would falter too if my partner shut me out for a week or more only to got to another guy for suport, to someon e she called a safe place, THAT just sounds like she's not telling the whole story. you definitely wouldn't just call any old friend your 'safe place'. I think her loyalty left the moment she pushed Kip away, in all honesty.
I rlly thought these stories were funny until drama actually happened to a group I ran with happened just a few days ago. Infighting sucks tbh
Sorry to hear. It can happen to anyone 😢
"I hope he is happy in life" yea i don't lmao. as someone who lost my gf and the only girl i been with to have considered "the one" before her to her best friend. i will tell you: a)to never trust the "he's just a friend" and b)that it's ok to move on but just not wish them a happy life. you can be indifferent it's fine really. It's hard and betrayal trauma is one of the worst feelings out there tho and i fully understand that. all power to op and her and i genuinely wish her the best in her future and that i'm sure she'll find someone even better than a dude that is ok with ruining everything for a couple weeks
Yeah I can confirm two weeks is enough for some of those hopeless romantics to assume they met their soul mates enough to throw away years of relationships....ugh (eye roll)
4:29 Shrek: I OBJEEEECT!
Did she get to keep the dress though? 🤣
NGL, everyone sucks here.
I think because its a video games people feel like they can fool around and not get repercussions the same way irl they would like in a grander scale. They can fool around for a year then break it off and toss it withing a month. There are good people but there also bad and weird af people too.
OP sounds like she went radio silent on her fiancé and he didn't take that too well.
After that it just seems like a communication breakdown. They lost faith in each other.
If you are not willing to 100% communicate with your fiancé you don't have a relationship you have a mistake.
shio was either a gm or hacker or german wires from his wrists going inside pc....
HAHA Enrique Iglesias is amazing lol.
Story like this makes me glad i an anti social for the most part in 14(male lala so i never really get interactions at all outside of the occasional head pats)
Guys will always think that if a girl talk to someone else, it's because she doesn't want to talk to them. And we also know that a guy that "has no feelings" and "is just friendly" and is "just my friend", has in mind, because we think exactly the same and every relationship we have is in the hope of having more. Sorry to break it to you girls.
Uhm... the story literally said that she was talking to another guy because he 'wasn't a part of the problem and was someone she could feel safe with' which is openly saying that Kip was in fact 'part of the problem' and 'someone she could NOT feel safe with'. If that's how you feel about your fiance... you need to break it off immediately.
Lol please dont talk for men who dont behave the way you do and you think that they do. What is this, youre literally the problem
The projection is real.
shio disclose your chat secrets
Pathra we miss uuuuuuuuu
YES! FINALLY SOMEONE SEES THAT LIZZER PPL R TERRIBLE PPL
Just because you have a bad experience with them doesn't mean all of them are bad.
I have to say that I've also had a really bad experience with a female lizzer person....actually make that two.
@@wingsofshadow Can always happen, shitty people exist sadly.
Agree! They are no good 😂 Same with Miqos…
I had issues with someone who was a lizard person who was obsessed with other lizard characters and majority of them were definitely trash. Ill say Hroth are probably the most friendless people youll ever meet. Majority are also gay but like maybe thats why they are super friendly. It goes without saying there are some weirdos in every setting.
4:28 🤦
Kip sounds like a horse's arse and OP is probably better off in the long run with their new relationship. That being said people you're very close to deserve at least an outline of what's distressing you. Something short and simple like "I lost someone very important to me and I just need time alone right now." I lost my best friend of 16 years since middle school in 2018 and it's the worst pain I've felt in my life. I spent 5 days straight doing nothing but bawling in my room but none of my friends were wondering what was going on with me because I gave them the Cliffsnotes. SOs especially tend to internalize that lack of communication as it being something they did.
my man kip cutting losses and moving on. Kip was the only sane person in all of this.
haven't finished vid yet and both kip and op doesn't seem like the best or sharpest people, and im not being mean when i say this but kip isnt in school or working. "i want to have kids" should not be in the vocabulary of a neet or anyone in a similar situation. children are very expensive to care for and while i dont believe in the whole manly men are the breadwinner gender roles and what not, someone who has no life prospects shouldn't be telling a women they are disappointed they didnt have their kid, like you cant take care of yourself, them, or the child
I love you guys, except that guy over by the corner. I'm not feeling that guy.
I’m screaming the build up for Kip is nothing but big red flags 😭
Uh, such as?
@@bellidrael7457Have a good day ❤
Omg
What the
🤦
Em i the first comment?
Yep lol
Kippers didn't seem like a very motivated boy, lack luster job with no real ambition? OP dodged a big bullet. OP can do a lot better I'm sure.
Yeah. She can go find some other guy to get into a relationship with then cut contact with once she's feeling 'overwhelmed' emotionally and find the idiot that's still going to be waiting for her after she does it multiple times.
What a awful take lol. Not everyone needs to be motivated or ambitious, and the fact that he got a job when he realized he wanted to be with her is commendable, not something to hold against him. And really,? You are going to complain about lackluster jobs? Not everyone can have a job that pays 6 figures. Plus you are only hearing HER side of the story and the pinned comment proves that she is a liar.
@@luckytanuki5449 He sounded lazy to me, relax it's not about you.
@@TheEvilMinion No, but it is about you having a terrible opinion lol. Just accept that you are wrong lol.
@@TheEvilMinion🤡