i quit watching two bears DURING the pandemic! Tom & Christina can still sometimes pull off some funny stuff on the flagship show, but Bert is just insufferable.
It really is astounding. I’ve never seen someone with their own spirit brand so effectively prevent people from consuming alcohol out of fear they don’t turn out like Bert
I still am floored by this fact. Whenever I see old clips of him I just can't comprehend that this entitled fuckwit is the same person who had enough intelligence and seeming relatability to make me genuinely belly-laugh. Now I kinda wouldn't care if he choked to death on his next private-chef-prepared thousand dollar meal. As for Bert, I am still convinced that he's just trolling the stand-up scene, seeing how far he can go with twelve beers, one lame story and zero shirt before someone notices the total lack of comedy.
As an ex alcoholic Bert is not just a disgusting alcoholic in denial, he’s a horrible person who actually has contempt for people who are sober. He thinks its a sign of weakness for someone to be sober when the reality is the opposite. Theres nothing easier than drinking all day and pretending that your problems dont exist, being sober and facing life head on is what makes you a strong person.
Celebrated 5 years sober in August. Bert is a disgrace and makes for the most perfect example of an alcoholic in denial who's being enabled by his unearned fame. What a jackass
So true. This is when I only see them. The whole Rogan sphere is cringe and unfunny. I wish I could go back to my 2018 self and beat the shit outta me!
and you are sitting and watching a guy telling you how it's not funny and still watching them do it. and i'm sitting here and replying to you. guess joke's on whom.
LMFAO 😁🤣😂 While she questions herself "was it all worth it?" Now that his children are older and realize what a joke their Dad is. A BAD JOKE. He's talked about how they don't like going out in public with him anymore, if ever...
@@samcamara80 I will be absolutely shocked if they don’t get divorced eventually. She could make off pretty good too, no shot they signed any pre-nup when they got together so young before the -success- excess
why does he want to bring people down with him? The only people that want to "quit" drinking, are people with a problem. Normal people never comprehend "quitting" cause they drink like 4 times a year.
I really don't like to judge people too hard and try to be happy for others success, but I genuinely can't understand how Bert got that successful and keeps being so. But you can't argue with the numbers, he's constantly selling out venues , huge ones at that, which means a fuckton of people disagree with me .
It’s absolutely HYSTERICAL that Bert is putting down his children saying they’ll make less money than him. Like okay dude, hopefully your daughters don’t follow in your footsteps and take 3 extra years of college partying nonstop just to end up becoming rich from some ridiculous story taking your shirt off. They might not earn as much, but I’m sure they’ll have a much bigger and more positive impact on society than Bert ever has.
There was something really sick about watching a father laugh about how his daughters will never achieve what he has achieved by taking their shirt off. Guess again, buddy boy.
Im baffled he even has kids and a wife. Could you imagine dealing with this delusional man everyday? I dont understand why any woman would be attracted to that guy, and choose him as the father of her kids. Most likely he had money: I just looked him up he started in around 1997 after 6 years of college. and did a few reality TV shows before trying comedy in 2004. So I guess the answer is he had money. He has done quite a few movies, and even wrote scripts but all of them were flops. He must have had industry connections. I had never heard of Bert until about 2022 when he appeared on Rogan. A lot of guys like Bert pretend they used to be poor like Tom does too, but they come from upper middle class families They were never poor.
For real. He's just setting them up for failure. Like, being realistic and saying, "Yeah. It's unlikely that they'll do this" is one thing, but you should still hope for the best for them. And you should also never say that out loud lol. I can't imagine what home life with him must be like.
I’m a couple months shy of five years sober and my life has completely changed since being sober. My life was an absolute hell, I couldn’t function without drugs and alcohol. I was a slave to alcohol and the shame I felt from it wad so powerful but I couldn’t stop for years until I ended up in the hospital with serious liver issues and was told that if I didn’t quit I would be dead. Life’s beautiful now, I’m completely abstinent from all mood altering substances and I’m free. Life’s not all peaches and rainbows but it’s 10000 percent better than what it was. Bert is an insufferable person that lives in denial and I’ve seen plenty of people like him, and it doesn’t end well. If you want to continue drinking go for it, but don’t bash people that get sober. Thats insanely irresponsible for someone who might actually be thinking about getting clean. It can literally mean life or death for a lot of people. What an absolute clown
I feel every word of your comment, I’m coming up on 4 years and feel the same. I’m really proud of you and so glad you are feeling the freedom it brings 🦋
Remember he’s at the point where he’ll say anything to justify his actions. He’s truly doing a disservice to himself, his family and others who struggle with sobriety.
It's crapping on the faces of every person who has destroyed their life and their loved once lives with their addictions and finally was able to overcome it.
we you gotta insult bears like that man. i apologize on behalf of my comrade here, bears. Bears hate being called Bert Kreischer and Tom Segura, they find it wildly offensive.
Hes not a father... he just donated the semen to his mom wife so she could have something to keep her from leaving him as long as he brings home the "bacon"
“My daughter will never do anything as big as me” was the real winner. Who says that about their daughter who hasn’t even graduated college yet for anyone to know what she’s capable of?
I got sober 10 years ago and I would be dead today if I hadn't. If you are struggling with alcohol, know that everything Bert is saying is false - everything!
Agreed. Met many people struggling with similar addictions to me. Some in clear denial like this jackass. Always wanted you to relapse with them and treated like it was no big deal, disgusting.
WHO IS WATCHING THIS UNIRONICALLY - I DEMAND YOU COME FORWARD AND DEFEND THESE TWO BORING SELF ABSORBED UNFUNNY WASTES OF HUMAN CONSCIOUSNESS! EXPLAIN YOURSELVES
I ask the same thing about TFATK. And I'm pretty sure its the homeless cats themselves. Look at Podcast cringe himself. He shit's on them, but I guarantee he watches them. Sure it's to clip stuff but you can see my point. I stopped watching them years ago. I never plan on watching another one, buying tickets, or a live show
@@Chumbus21I was one. Known and treated hundreds. Never met a single fucking one who ever got clean for attention. Most of them can't even stay clean when it's mandated by a court and they're facing literal years in prison. ...and you think they're gonna do it just for the lolz and attention? Are you Bert?
@@OnlyReasonableTakes huh? Ive seen it many times. A junkie says he’s going to rehab to get clean just for the rush of attention and “good for yous” with no intention of actually getting sober. STFU 😂
The upside-down pineapple sticker on Bert's water bottle is a very well-known symbol for swingers btw, pretty funny that they are displaying that so prominently.
13:58 how about that tour bus 😂 Not narcissistic at all! That’s the type of sht you’d have to do if you lost a bet, but Bert did it willingly. “Hey everybody, I’m comedy superstar Bert Kreischer!”
Besides Matt and Shane's podcast and sometimes Kill Tony, pretty much all these comedian podcasts have jumped the shark. Where is the entertainment value in watching people talk about their money?
This part made my head want to explode. Bert is awful, unfunny, annoying and gross as a parent. Pyrosis is gone be "tragic" for his family 🙄. Hate to say I told you so.....but......
“My daughters will never make the amount of money I’ve made. My daughters will never achieve what I have achieved.” Bert’s “Me” complex shining through even when talking about his daughters.
If you haven't dealt with substance abuse - imagine you're craving sugar insanely bad and 110% of your waking conscious effort has to be revolved around not even slipping into the temptation of thought for even a SECOND because it can break everything. Now, imagine you're trying to not eat sugar, and someone grabs a donut and starts eating it infront of you and bragging how good the sugar is ect.. now even if they say something joking like "its so good for you" it doesn't matter, it's going to trigger in the same way and make it really hard for you to not go "ohh okay 1 more then ill stop", because someones just re-glamarized it right infront of you. Now imagine this, times 1000 to a point that your brain can't even comprehend. That's what Burts doing in this clip, with people who suffer alcoholism.
It's called "euphoric recall". It's when your brain tries to trick you into remembering how awesome it felt to drink, when in reality it just makes you sweaty and depressed. For me, the fun part of alcohol lasted about thirty minutes, tops, then it was all chasing the dragon after that.
@@charliedillon1400 Ah man I'm so glad you shared that, didn't know that had a name that's very useful. Been through the exact same thing, you think it's gonna be the best thing, you end up feeling terrible and saying you're gonna quit, then it's like that euphoric recall kicks in full force and you find yourself in a hopeless loop
It irks me how Tom has decided he’s the picture of health all of a sudden. He still looks a good ten years older than he is. He’s still fat. Being healthier than Bert isn’t an achievement
Right? I'm 44 - sure, I've been told by some very kind people that I definitely don't look it (I disagree 😂), but I swore Tom had 10 years on me. Turns out he's only a year older. I was a little shocked 😋.
I never got why so many dudes love the wide hips chunky-bearded face look. Never got it, especially when 99,9% of men look alot better shaved and in shape. The whole big fat bearded wide hippy dude...never got it, but fuck me its popular.
Yeah my thoughts exactly. He makes it seem like he is the epidemy of health. Even with a personal chef, botox, personal trainer and ozempic he still doesn't look good
I was about to come at you- cmon, Tom doesn’t look 65! But first I did a bit of research and holy eff he’s 44? Bart looks about 58, but he’s actually 51, so does that make him aging better than Tom?
Telling people to not give up alcohol is fucking insane. At some point, my partner is going to have to stop drinking because he does have a problem. I would scream at someone if they said this to him like wtf. It’s so dangerous and immature and absolutely fucked. edit: also, my fiancé’s drinking is no where near as bad as Bert’s and he still needs to stop drinking. Bert is so delusional about his own consumption.
I watched two bears one cave for about a month long period when it first came out. How this dude can still be sitting there watching these each week is incomprehensible. Podcast cringe earns every view
A few years back I honestly loved 2 bears one cave so much. It was when I had a trucking job 12 hours a day. I fucking loved this podcast. I started watching it from episode one and it entertained me for 1 hour every week. I was excited for the episode to be released every single week. Then they got to about episode 40. I suddenly realized I can’t stand Bert’s fake, high pitched telling a not funny story laugh 10 times per episode, plus interrupting Tom or any guest every 30 seconds. If you pay attention, you can even see Tom do a high pitched, fake laugh while telling a story just like his butt buddy Bert. It pisses me off.
Please don't listen to a damn thing Bert said. If you feel that alcohol is hindering you or negatively impacting your life, then quitting is an option. There's nothing wrong with admitting you have a problem and getting help. Don't take life advice from a miserable drunk...
Merrill Lynch is a giant conglomerate with tons of VP's, most of them probably make under $250,000. People make his dad out to be an oil tycoon. Not the case.
He didn’t call them the death squad, btw. He was mocking that these pretend comedians referred to themselves as such. (Redban came up with the monicker, I think.) Here’s your water….
Actually.... Opie from Opie and Anthony came up with the "death squad" tag. He randomly said it one morning in the early days of JRE(maybe even before that)when Rogan came into their studio with his posse and Redban just ran with it. Tea.
Remember the 2000s, when nobody was doing comedy around the globe, except for Tom and Blurp? It wasn't even an occupation back then, they really are trendsetters.
For real. Some say George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Joan Rivers, Robin Williams, Chris Rock, etc only became comics because they had a vision of the future and saw what starts Tom and Bert were, so they started doing it based on that vision lol.
I recommended your channel here & your Patreon to both my Patreon members (The Original Captain Trips & The Original Captain Trips Basement Surprise). Never stop stopping.
I would love to see the secret bank account Berts wife has been loading up for the last decade! She seems smart enough to know that the cliff is coming in hot
![[LIVE] BABYMONSTER(베이비몬스터) - DRIP | 두시탈출 컬투쇼](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/UG05pxLGwzc/mqdefault.jpg)
I watch podcast cringe so I don't effect the view count for 2 bears one cave
Me too!
i quit watching two bears DURING the pandemic! Tom & Christina can still sometimes pull off some funny stuff on the flagship show, but Bert is just insufferable.
That’s the only way to watch it
Samesies!
ngl i feel this in my soul😂
Bert's keeping me from drinking
Well said 😂
It really is astounding. I’ve never seen someone with their own spirit brand so effectively prevent people from consuming alcohol out of fear they don’t turn out like Bert
@@bluraynation5188 That's a funny point, of all the people I've seen launch their own alcohol Bert is the only alcoholic😭
Same here man. Been sober 2 months. I don't ever want to end up like him
The guy is like 50 plus getting wasted everyday like he's a 20 year old frat boy
2 Bears 0 Jokes
2 bears 2 jokes... jokes on them
2 jokes hard to bear.
@@ModMax69 they are the jokes
2 bears hard jokes
2 jokes 1 bear
Bert’s fake laughter is some of the most uncomfortably awkward shit of all time
Was about to comment the same thing, it must be so hard to have to sit there through that
*annoying, not awkward
@@STSGuitar16
Both 😂
I wonder if there is precedent for bringing suit for being injured from cringing so hard…….
@@STSGuitar16that's sh*ts annoying, awkward, obnoxious, and so fake it's just ridiculous. 😂😂
Bert's face always makes him look like he's in the midst of an allergic reaction.
Looks like he got stung by a swarm of bees
That's the alcohol
Only 250 comedians, folks. We're staring at an endangered species 😢
They're our last line of defense!
Anything is better than Casey rocket at least
@@xaikkenleave the crab man out of it! lol 😂
We can only hope
We gotta get that number as low as possible
Bert wishing he was delusional is the most ironic thing ever.
All that irony flying over his smooth brain with no self-awareness is almost impressive in itself.
@@High3rThanNASAthe irony is using his brain as skatepark it’s so smooth, it tried desperately to get in just to slide off
Bert: "I wish I was delusional."
Also bert: "don't stop drinking. It sets you up for failure"
@@Mewse1203also Bert: if you have a drinking problem, don’t stop drinking
Right? I’m over here like “Bert WISHES he possessed delusional levels of confidence??” Yea right! Bro, YOU DO 😅
I can't believe I used to be a fan of Tom. I can't stand him now... he has completely changed into such a douche
He used to be really, REALLY funny and likeable. His Steven Seagal bits still kill me
I was a fan until I watched ymh. Then I realiazed he wasn't a persona in standup.
Money removes suffering and reveals ones true ambitions
I still am floored by this fact. Whenever I see old clips of him I just can't comprehend that this entitled fuckwit is the same person who had enough intelligence and seeming relatability to make me genuinely belly-laugh. Now I kinda wouldn't care if he choked to death on his next private-chef-prepared thousand dollar meal. As for Bert, I am still convinced that he's just trolling the stand-up scene, seeing how far he can go with twelve beers, one lame story and zero shirt before someone notices the total lack of comedy.
Always was
As an ex alcoholic Bert is not just a disgusting alcoholic in denial, he’s a horrible person who actually has contempt for people who are sober. He thinks its a sign of weakness for someone to be sober when the reality is the opposite. Theres nothing easier than drinking all day and pretending that your problems dont exist, being sober and facing life head on is what makes you a strong person.
Bingo, Bango, Bongo- I'll have one for you homey!!
As a recovered alcoholic I find Bert’s comments disgusting and unsympathetic
Burt made me quit alcohol forever.
Agreed... It makes me sick to hear him say that after the battles I've had with addiction, and recovery over the past decade...
as an alcoholic, i feel the same.
Celebrated 5 years sober in August. Bert is a disgrace and makes for the most perfect example of an alcoholic in denial who's being enabled by his unearned fame. What a jackass
Yea I been sober 11 years, he’s a moron. And very clearly one of us 😂
I’ve forgotten about these two. But this channel never fails to remind me of them lmfao
true man i dont really get them in my algorythm aswell anymore now where i think about it, only when they show up on rogan
So true. This is when I only see them. The whole Rogan sphere is cringe and unfunny. I wish I could go back to my 2018 self and beat the shit outta me!
Yeah i stopped trying to get into 2 bears a long time ago lol
Ha me to
I haven't watched any Tom Segura content since 2019 outside of Redbar or this channel
Tom pretending he’s not a trust fund baby lol
is he?!
@@somerandomlittlechannel7860I believe his father was in upper management for like JP Morgan or something.
@@somerandomlittlechannel7860yes
@@somerandomlittlechannel7860his father is some kinda big show in the Pepsi company
They are probably to two worst culprits of it in comedy. But you’d be surprised how common this is in the scene
I FEEL ASHAMED TO BE EVEN WATCHING ANYTHING RELATING TO THESE PEOPLE.
I should get my life together.
You and me, both 😂.
Same 😔
Amen, being self aware is half the battle.
2:41 they are literally sitting around and smelling their own farts
and you are sitting and watching a guy telling you how it's not funny and still watching them do it. and i'm sitting here and replying to you. guess joke's on whom.
“Jokes on whom” lmfao. We’re hate watching, like amberlynn Reid, or a literal train wreck.
9:15 he would be NOTHING without Leanne. SHE manages the money, house, and family. She whipes her tears at night with the money.
LMFAO 😁🤣😂
While she questions herself "was it all worth it?" Now that his children are older and realize what a joke their Dad is. A BAD JOKE. He's talked about how they don't like going out in public with him anymore, if ever...
@@samcamara80 I will be absolutely shocked if they don’t get divorced eventually. She could make off pretty good too, no shot they signed any pre-nup when they got together so young before the -success- excess
She enables him to make sure her and her kids are good. That would seem evil but she was actually poor and Bert has no interest in improving
"if you are thinking about quitting drinking, dont.... youre setting yourself up for failure"- Bert Krieshner 2024
Someone might say the earth would be better off without Burp. More than someone. A bunch of people. like, a lot.
He’s setting up his liver for failure
why does he want to bring people down with him? The only people that want to "quit" drinking, are people with a problem. Normal people never comprehend "quitting" cause they drink like 4 times a year.
I really don't like to judge people too hard and try to be happy for others success, but I genuinely can't understand how Bert got that successful and keeps being so. But you can't argue with the numbers, he's constantly selling out venues , huge ones at that, which means a fuckton of people disagree with me .
2:47 "Fuck Joe Rogan" I almost spit out my drink. That was hilarious!
Felt that with my entire being. Starting to honestly hate Rogan a little for giving us these guys.
You fucked up a 4 word quote
Joe will deliver Bert’s eulogy, stealing lines he heard at other funerals.
via zoom.. he's not gonna be there in person.
And take it overly serious despite being a comedian at a comedians funeral. And all the jokes will fly over his head
best comment..period
0:11 hearing your son say this and then not crashing out is truly a testament to the patience a person is capable of
If Bert’s daughters took their shirts off as much as he does, they could probably make more money than him.
This comment is funnier than Berts career
🤭🤭🤭🤭
You ever seen his wife? I cant see what they churn out being worth looking at.
Tf wrong with you their kids pedo
@@realrealityeast6278his wife is cute
It’s absolutely HYSTERICAL that Bert is putting down his children saying they’ll make less money than him. Like okay dude, hopefully your daughters don’t follow in your footsteps and take 3 extra years of college partying nonstop just to end up becoming rich from some ridiculous story taking your shirt off. They might not earn as much, but I’m sure they’ll have a much bigger and more positive impact on society than Bert ever has.
There was something really sick about watching a father laugh about how his daughters will never achieve what he has achieved by taking their shirt off. Guess again, buddy boy.
@@Ruthy101 For real. Setting them up for... well something lol.
Im baffled he even has kids and a wife. Could you imagine dealing with this delusional man everyday? I dont understand why any woman would be attracted to that guy, and choose him as the father of her kids. Most likely he had money: I just looked him up he started in around 1997 after 6 years of college. and did a few reality TV shows before trying comedy in 2004. So I guess the answer is he had money. He has done quite a few movies, and even wrote scripts but all of them were flops. He must have had industry connections. I had never heard of Bert until about 2022 when he appeared on Rogan. A lot of guys like Bert pretend they used to be poor like Tom does too, but they come from upper middle class families They were never poor.
Or you
Kinda hard to not have a bigger effect on society. They could do literally anything end knock it out of the park compared to him
Wanting/expecting your children to never 'achieve anything close to what you have' is WILD.
For real. He's just setting them up for failure.
Like, being realistic and saying, "Yeah. It's unlikely that they'll do this" is one thing, but you should still hope for the best for them. And you should also never say that out loud lol.
I can't imagine what home life with him must be like.
That’s what his father did to him. So he probably thinks that mentality is normal
He's a narc, can't expect less.
Thats what my father did. Did everything within his power to make sure I never achieved anything that he couldnt... Sabotage...
His ego couldn't handle if his children become more successful.
these guys are going to get wrecked in their divorces.
Leeanne is waiting for the inevitable death to get it all
Underrated comment here fs . Great point.
Here’s hoping 🤞
One of them, probably. The other only has to outlive his cancer ridden wife.
Doubt it, their best buddies are j00 lawyers. 😂😂😂
Bert thinking his daughters would want to be anything like him is hilarious😂
Bert drinking a beer with a coffee and claims he still doesn't have a problem. Thanks for the review. i can't watch a full hour of them anymore
Bert having a stroke on stage will make him happy cuz he’ll get attention 😂
It'll be the biggest laugh he ever gets.
Yeah because shitting himself just wasn't enough 😂
I’m a couple months shy of five years sober and my life has completely changed since being sober. My life was an absolute hell, I couldn’t function without drugs and alcohol. I was a slave to alcohol and the shame I felt from it wad so powerful but I couldn’t stop for years until I ended up in the hospital with serious liver issues and was told that if I didn’t quit I would be dead. Life’s beautiful now, I’m completely abstinent from all mood altering substances and I’m free. Life’s not all peaches and rainbows but it’s 10000 percent better than what it was. Bert is an insufferable person that lives in denial and I’ve seen plenty of people like him, and it doesn’t end well. If you want to continue drinking go for it, but don’t bash people that get sober. Thats insanely irresponsible for someone who might actually be thinking about getting clean. It can literally mean life or death for a lot of people. What an absolute clown
Congrats 🎂
Congratulations on five years dude. That's a huge achievement. And you're right, he sucks
I feel every word of your comment, I’m coming up on 4 years and feel the same. I’m really proud of you and so glad you are feeling the freedom it brings 🦋
Congratulations! Closing in on 5 myself.
He’s basically promoting suicide
I can’t handle berts fake laugh
And the more he realizes he’s the only person laughing, the harder he fake laughs to try to get people to laugh with him.
Bert saying he wished he had just a little bit of deluded confidence, is some next level delusional shit!
Bert’s delusion that he’s not going to die from alcohol is funnier than Tom’s delusion that he worked hard for that paycheck
Every teen should be shown Bert clips in school so they never want to drink. Instead of DARE it's the BERT program.
Big, Enormous, Restarted (with a d), Times kids that’s what will happen to you if you become an alcoholic say no Bert 😂
underrated comment
Hearing Bert say "people get sober for attention" pissed me off.
Dude seriously. He's sooo fucking out of touch and pathetic. I can't believe he said that shit
The amount of mental gymnastics required to come to that conclusion is frankly impressive.
Remember he’s at the point where he’ll say anything to justify his actions. He’s truly doing a disservice to himself, his family and others who struggle with sobriety.
It's crapping on the faces of every person who has destroyed their life and their loved once lives with their addictions and finally was able to overcome it.
If getting sober got you attention than Bernt would be the embodiment of aa
They are now smelling their own farts.....
They’ve been doing that for a while.
@@brennancarter7721 fair, but they are literally talking about their shit.
The biggest travesty is the people who buy tickets to their shows. They're the real problem. We could all put an end to this if we wanted to.
Hopefully this giant cloud of smug doesnt combine woth the cloud from George Clooney's acceptance speech.
One giant Dutch oven
Tom looks like Michael Stipe's great grandfather.
Dead on with the hipster glasses and shirt
I'm getting sober for the attention. Please like 👍
One pushup for every like this comment gets
Bert saying people get sober for attention is a prime example of him projecting
2 bears one shitty podcast
More like 5 shitty podcasts
2 narcissistic jerks one shitty podcast
we you gotta insult bears like that man. i apologize on behalf of my comrade here, bears. Bears hate being called Bert Kreischer and Tom Segura, they find it wildly offensive.
Bert is an absolutely abysmal father.
Hes not a father... he just donated the semen to his mom wife so she could have something to keep her from leaving him as long as he brings home the "bacon"
@@smithjohn3080he can provide, but he doesn’t seem to have any of the grit and determination it takes to raise children.
“My daughter will never do anything as big as me” was the real winner. Who says that about their daughter who hasn’t even graduated college yet for anyone to know what she’s capable of?
but he posted himself crying when his daughters went to college!!!!!!
@@dblackout1107i cant imagine my dad saying that, let alone posting it for thousands of strangers
Imagine saying getting sober is for attention after posting a cringy selfie photo of yourself crying because your kid went to college
Someone commented Bert is the real life Homer Simpson and I can’t unsee it 😂 but at least Homer has some humility and empathy sometimes 💀
"2 bears, 1 grave" by Crack Amico is one of the best songs ever
"and you can never dig 'em up"
I got sober 10 years ago and I would be dead today if I hadn't. If you are struggling with alcohol, know that everything Bert is saying is false - everything!
Agreed. Met many people struggling with similar addictions to me. Some in clear denial like this jackass. Always wanted you to relapse with them and treated like it was no big deal, disgusting.
no one shits a log when drinking. you shit yourself!
Yeah dude Bert is completely irresponsible with these words. Not that anyone should EVER listen to him anyway lol
Congrats man!
Congratulations mate glad you're still with us
Two diabetic bears one Ozempic
Tom looks like a bobblehead at this point
😂😂😂😂 that is a brilliant comment and now I can't unsee it lmao 😂😂
But Rogan said he looks like an athlete now
I was actually having a terrible day until I came across this 10/10
WHO IS WATCHING THIS UNIRONICALLY - I DEMAND YOU COME FORWARD AND DEFEND THESE TWO BORING SELF ABSORBED UNFUNNY WASTES OF HUMAN CONSCIOUSNESS! EXPLAIN YOURSELVES
There are plenty of idiots out there that need some sort of noise to help fill up their 40 hour work week.
Is this Trump? Take a class on caps lock.
Throwing out fool bait, very nice!
@@seananderson9346 I don't get the trump comparison?
I ask the same thing about TFATK. And I'm pretty sure its the homeless cats themselves. Look at Podcast cringe himself. He shit's on them, but I guarantee he watches them. Sure it's to clip stuff but you can see my point. I stopped watching them years ago. I never plan on watching another one, buying tickets, or a live show
You can tell Bert has thought about getting sober for attention. Hes the only addict who would think like that.
I think that “sober October” is proof positive of that. Even for a month, real or not, seemed to get some attention.
when he said that i was like…. who the FUCK gets sober for attention besides sb like him??
@@Chumbus21I was one. Known and treated hundreds. Never met a single fucking one who ever got clean for attention. Most of them can't even stay clean when it's mandated by a court and they're facing literal years in prison. ...and you think they're gonna do it just for the lolz and attention? Are you Bert?
@@Chumbus21 Dunno whats worse, Bert and Tom , or their delusional detractors. They all just talk out of their asses.
@@OnlyReasonableTakes huh? Ive seen it many times. A junkie says he’s going to rehab to get clean just for the rush of attention and “good for yous” with no intention of actually getting sober. STFU 😂
Tom, "a billionaire living in a millionaire's body," you nailed it brilliantly! 👏🤣
9:53 literally just describes himself everytime he 'stops drinking' 😂 lmao
The upside-down pineapple sticker on Bert's water bottle is a very well-known symbol for swingers btw, pretty funny that they are displaying that so prominently.
Just lost my mom to alcoholism, hearing Bert justify and cope like that is sickening and a tell tale sign of a deadly problem
Hopefully Bert goes pretty soon, so we don’t have to hear him speak.
sorry to hear about your loss. im an alcohol counselor, stuff is not joke
@@brennancarter7721we can only hope 😂
I’m really sorry for your loss
It’s very evil actually. Like insanely evil for him to say that
Talk about projection. Bert thinks everyone is motivated by attention because it's the only thing that drives him.
Was thinking the same thing! I wonder if he realizes how obvious he is...
He is oblivious but he is what he is, I never found him malicious
what absolutely disgusting humans. Schaub level narcissism.
At least Shaub quit finally. These guys are way worse imo because they're just greedy.
@@TheSuperQuail lolol you think Schaub quit and is not greedy lolol? wtf
shaub at least has mental disability to blame
13:58 how about that tour bus 😂 Not narcissistic at all! That’s the type of sht you’d have to do if you lost a bet, but Bert did it willingly. “Hey everybody, I’m comedy superstar Bert Kreischer!”
@@lowlowseesee Shaub announced he quit comedy over 8 months ago and I never said he wasn't greedy. Idiot.
"I didn't even know how comedy worked."
Well, that hasn't changed, Bert.
This channel just delivers. Keep it up bud because I'm here for it
You are right Bert. Your daughter will never achieve to be as hated as you!
Eh, there's time.
Ruined it? Implying that it was good?
Thats what i say - it was NEVER good
Besides Matt and Shane's podcast and sometimes Kill Tony, pretty much all these comedian podcasts have jumped the shark. Where is the entertainment value in watching people talk about their money?
Drink responsibly
Don’t forget about bad friends. They still stick to keeping things comedic.
Bad friends is in constant punchline-hunting or setup mode bud
I can't listen to Shane's podcast because Matt has the worst 'surfer bro' voice of all time. Every other word is 'dude.' Can't get through it.
@@BillySotherden fair, guess I never noticed it cuz it’s quite common where I’m from.
Please don’t ever stop doing what you’re doing so I can keep up with the cringe without giving them views
“Caution! The host is an idiot” got me real good 🤣👍🏼💀
Nobody got changed more by money than tom segura. Dude became a next level pretentious piece of shit.
Always rich. Look into his dad.
He was always rich af. He's likely always been like this, too. He's just not wearing the "funny fat guy" mask anymore.
These guys both grew up rich, but somehow they are the embodiment of "new money", or, as it was called back in the day, "N-word rich".
@@charliedillon1400that was a Chris Rock bit- the difference between rich and wealthy. ‘Shaq is rich, the man who signs his check is wealthy’
wow 4:10 is so fucking ironic. is bert really saying he wishes he was a little delusional??? a LITTLE???? lmao
This part made my head want to explode. Bert is awful, unfunny, annoying and gross as a parent. Pyrosis is gone be "tragic" for his family 🙄. Hate to say I told you so.....but......
“2 Bears, 1 Cup” appears to be a more apt name for the show these days.
I think that's what the name of the show was referencing. I like to think 2 Bears like the hairy gay kink daddy kind of bear
Podcast Cringe wasn’t in the mood for it on this one. Bro dropped a whole diss track.
I love how this channel is basically just a Tom, Bert and Joe hate channel. I'm here for it
“My daughters will never make the amount of money I’ve made. My daughters will never achieve what I have achieved.”
Bert’s “Me” complex shining through even when talking about his daughters.
Toms wearing a $245 USD T-Shirt
He’s rich.
@@noelgrassy4278bro Tom’s dad was rich and his dad and his dad. He’s like the 4th generation of extremely wealthy money.
And a watch that's worth 10's of thousands of dollars. It's a AP Royal Oak, very nice watch
Wait so the Caillou Collection is that pricey? Inflation I guess….
lol 15:23 to be fair, it costs good money to be able to show his solidarity with his Jamaican roots.
Toms lame, props to you for watching these podcasts for us.
5:35 this is painful to watch because for some reason he thinks it's a joke. This exact speech can easily trigger people to relapse.
If you haven't dealt with substance abuse - imagine you're craving sugar insanely bad and 110% of your waking conscious effort has to be revolved around not even slipping into the temptation of thought for even a SECOND because it can break everything. Now, imagine you're trying to not eat sugar, and someone grabs a donut and starts eating it infront of you and bragging how good the sugar is ect.. now even if they say something joking like "its so good for you" it doesn't matter, it's going to trigger in the same way and make it really hard for you to not go "ohh okay 1 more then ill stop", because someones just re-glamarized it right infront of you. Now imagine this, times 1000 to a point that your brain can't even comprehend. That's what Burts doing in this clip, with people who suffer alcoholism.
It's called "euphoric recall". It's when your brain tries to trick you into remembering how awesome it felt to drink, when in reality it just makes you sweaty and depressed. For me, the fun part of alcohol lasted about thirty minutes, tops, then it was all chasing the dragon after that.
@@charliedillon1400 Ah man I'm so glad you shared that, didn't know that had a name that's very useful. Been through the exact same thing, you think it's gonna be the best thing, you end up feeling terrible and saying you're gonna quit, then it's like that euphoric recall kicks in full force and you find yourself in a hopeless loop
Relishing in the idea of your child or family not being as successful as you is highkey a red flag
Bert is literally saying Homer Simpsons "You tried your best and failed miserably - the lesson here is never try" but actually means it🍩
Because he’s the real life Homer Simpson.
It irks me how Tom has decided he’s the picture of health all of a sudden. He still looks a good ten years older than he is. He’s still fat. Being healthier than Bert isn’t an achievement
Its beyond me that he did an actually documentary about his workout and diet like he didnt almost die playing basketball smh
Right? I'm 44 - sure, I've been told by some very kind people that I definitely don't look it (I disagree 😂), but I swore Tom had 10 years on me. Turns out he's only a year older. I was a little shocked 😋.
I never got why so many dudes love the wide hips chunky-bearded face look. Never got it, especially when 99,9% of men look alot better shaved and in shape. The whole big fat bearded wide hippy dude...never got it, but fuck me its popular.
Yeah my thoughts exactly. He makes it seem like he is the epidemy of health. Even with a personal chef, botox, personal trainer and ozempic he still doesn't look good
I was about to come at you- cmon, Tom doesn’t look 65! But first I did a bit of research and holy eff he’s 44? Bart looks about 58, but he’s actually 51, so does that make him aging better than Tom?
Telling people to not give up alcohol is fucking insane. At some point, my partner is going to have to stop drinking because he does have a problem. I would scream at someone if they said this to him like wtf. It’s so dangerous and immature and absolutely fucked. edit: also, my fiancé’s drinking is no where near as bad as Bert’s and he still needs to stop drinking. Bert is so delusional about his own consumption.
it's truly the final straw for me. what a fucking punk
Jeez honey... You couldn't tell me to my face?
@@TheTrillaTron haha! He’s brought it up to me on his own. I’m here to support him!
Thank you for being patient with him. Im in the same boat re alcohol and Im so grateful to have a gf who supports me
If my gf referred to me as her "partner" I'd leave her
Bert is actually helping me quit drinking. Thanks Bert.
Lol same
I watched two bears one cave for about a month long period when it first came out. How this dude can still be sitting there watching these each week is incomprehensible. Podcast cringe earns every view
A few years back I honestly loved 2 bears one cave so much. It was when I had a trucking job 12 hours a day. I fucking loved this podcast. I started watching it from episode one and it entertained me for 1 hour every week. I was excited for the episode to be released every single week. Then they got to about episode 40. I suddenly realized I can’t stand Bert’s fake, high pitched telling a not funny story laugh 10 times per episode, plus interrupting Tom or any guest every 30 seconds. If you pay attention, you can even see Tom do a high pitched, fake laugh while telling a story just like his butt buddy Bert. It pisses me off.
Every time I watch a video about these guys, the one thing that never changes is my disgust when Bart brags about what a POS father he is.
Please don't listen to a damn thing Bert said. If you feel that alcohol is hindering you or negatively impacting your life, then quitting is an option. There's nothing wrong with admitting you have a problem and getting help. Don't take life advice from a miserable drunk...
Don't worry NO ONE is taking advice from bret.
Tom’s father was the VP of Merrill Lynch
Merrill Lynch is a giant conglomerate with tons of VP's, most of them probably make under $250,000. People make his dad out to be an oil tycoon. Not the case.
Bert unironically wishing he was delusional was the best part
I just want to remind you all:
Norm mcdonald called the rogan-circle ”the death squad”.
Water.
He didn’t call them the death squad, btw. He was mocking that these pretend comedians referred to themselves as such. (Redban came up with the monicker, I think.) Here’s your water….
Actually....
Opie from Opie and Anthony came up with the "death squad" tag. He randomly said it one morning in the early days of JRE(maybe even before that)when Rogan came into their studio with his posse and Redban just ran with it.
Tea.
@@andyhobaugh3104 check. Thanks for the clarification.
@@andyhobaugh3104 tea is good. Thanks
2 bears and your mommas house were always bad
YMH was good like 5 years ago
That’s just not true. Fat Tom was hilarious. Pre 2018, YMH was outstanding. Laughing at tards never felt so good
@kman9884 it's all subjective. I didn't like it - you loved it. We're both right
Nice one, kids crying now
tom riffing with bert is him just not riffing with bert throwing him under the bus for a whole hour
That fake laugh is so f'n cringe
I’ve never watched 2 Kola Bears 1 Dingo, so I just skip to the parts where they get roasted.
whoever gives these guys money deserves therm
Tom’s head stayed fat . Side view of he’s head is very disturbing
Dude for real looks 60 at only 45
Look up beluga whales
A handful of their podcast friends say Bert and Tom have awful breath too
Can’t wait for the pod to become “2 poors, 1 crackpipe” in 10 years
2 Jack Doherty's but they're 60
Glad to see some of the greatest of the 250 keeping comedy alive!
At this point the funniest joke they could do it hit rock bottom and go bankrupt
I’m here 6 minutes after it got posted I spend way too much time online 😂😂
Me too. Went from a drug addict to a youtube addict. 😅
@@thegoodobserver just now realized I did the same thing. 😂😂 proud of you for staying clean tho homie keep it up.
@Joeythajanitor It's the lesser of two evils. What I tell myself atleast. Appreciate the encouragement. Same to you bro!
Remember the 2000s, when nobody was doing comedy around the globe, except for Tom and Blurp? It wasn't even an occupation back then, they really are trendsetters.
Blurp! I'll remember that one
For real. Some say George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Joan Rivers, Robin Williams, Chris Rock, etc only became comics because they had a vision of the future and saw what starts Tom and Bert were, so they started doing it based on that vision lol.
I recommended your channel here & your Patreon to both my Patreon members (The Original Captain Trips & The Original Captain Trips Basement Surprise). Never stop stopping.
is Bert swinging? why is there an upside-down pineapple on his waterbottle
I would love to see the secret bank account Berts wife has been loading up for the last decade! She seems smart enough to know that the cliff is coming in hot
Bert saying he wishes he's delusional is proof that he has a guardian angel granting his every wish
I regret any time I spent praising these dudes when they were interesting in 2016
Same. Before Tom caught his body wasting disease
This was a great refresher on the topic!
Upside down pineapple on Bert's water bottle... is he a swinger?
Nah probably just trying to bait engagement from the viewers. He doesn't have the self confidence to share his wife with others
He cheats if you count that as swinging
@@ThePeperjack i didn't know he was a cheater