Dream Prisoners A life with Maladaptive daydreaming by Elena Rubtsova, The Czech Republic.
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 ส.ค. 2024
- The purpose of this documentary movie is to spread information about the maladaptive daydreaming phenomenon, which might help people suffering from it and their surroundings. The film shows this phenomenon, underlines the reasons for its occurrence and manifestations, describes the dangers associated with it, and also provides suggestions on how to manage the mental state. This movie is based on people's real stories suffering from maladaptive daydreaming and the scientific opinions of two clinical psychologists, incl. Eli Somer, Ph.D. (Somer first described this phenomenon in 2002).
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"You don't fix the daydreaming, you fix the empty life"
made me cry
fact
Maladaptive daydreaming is more harder to quit than substance abuse for me because it is something that is available all the time. It's in your mind. It's you.
But I don't want to stop! It's so much better than real life.
Real Life may suck sometimes but at least is REAL!
Prisoner of dreams.
I feel exactly like that.
It's a daily struggle to focus. I usually can't.
I love the video!
That’s insane! This is what I do my whole life, I call it my second life and I thought I’m only one who is doing it as I never found information about it. Now I’ve learned how is this called.
Honestly, if I don't find a way to stop it, I don't know how can I live happily. My life is so sad and melancholic because of this shitty maladaptive daydreaming
@5:17 this is so important. I think people think we must be SO creative - like we could all just be great writers or artists or something. But actually making stuff requires concentration, getting out of your head and doing the thing, which is just impossible when your brain can't stay put in the real world. As someone _trying_ to be a writer, I can say this makes it so much more difficult. It would be better not to be drowning in the stories in my head so I could actually make ONE thing in the real world.
6:53 "That is where I lived, and the real world is where I visit." Oof. This is so accurate. The the degree of connection and emotionality we have with our daydreams is profound. I have trouble even quantifying how much time I spend daydreaming because it just pervades so much of my waking life. It tugs at me even if I'm not actively doing it, I miss my characters, I miss my dream self, I don't feel real or like a full person in the real world...
ADHD treatment has helped somewhat, but it seems to me that it's an ongoing process of managing things, life, _me_ just to function in every day life.
Nice video. I like phrase _dream prisoners_ it sounds more true to the experience than just _daydreaming_ which has such a positve connotation colloquially.
I daydream alot and it’s sucks… however I know the reason. When I don’t get enough sleep is when it happens a lot. When I don’t hydrate enough it happens and when I’m self loathing which is the ego getting in the way of living a normal natural life. Simply taking care of your body to best of your ability, the gym etc is what always cures it for me.
Thank you for sharing this. I will start to pay attention to what triggers mine concerning sleep and such. I deal with insomnia.
Thank you!
I feel crazy spacing, whispering and mouthing words and making expressions at “nothing”, but it’s like I’m in a movie in my head.
I had to sell products in person today and the event was so traumatic I had to keep talking to my husband to stop myself from "going off." He knew I was stressed but it wasn't until we got in the car that he realized how serious it was. He kept trying to get me to converse with him and I physically couldn't hear him past my daydreaming. He stopped talking and looked at me just in time for me to blurt out "oh, okay." It was the first time I spoke out loud from daydreaming in front of him. Embarrassed is not the word.
Yup Its the most awkward thing
My childhood experience exactly. Domestic abuse, bullied at home and school, no real friends, just books, toys and my imagination. Trauma in adulthood made my mdd worse. In the past few years it’s all I have had. Yet unlike many people, I don’t need to move around. I do it no matter what I am doing, I don’t even realise many times (I have almost been hurt badly several times because of this, mdd can be dangerous) I prefer doing it laying down. Music enhances it, but I don’t even need that. It just happens. The more traumatised I became, the more my mind escaped using my imagination. And the daydreams are good and bad yes, I have hurt myself and had so many fights in them. I think this part is my mind trying to process my current emotions and cope with what is happening to me in real life. To be fully honest, mdd helped me cope with the trauma at first and was positive when it was in small phases/doses, but as my trauma increased in adulthood so too did the mdd, and now it has consumed me. I would be interested to hear if anyone else does not require to be moving around and just does it no matter what, without even thinking. I have heard of young people trying to acquire mdd, they force themselves to pace their room and wear headphones because this is what they have read to do. It is really sad, it may start out as an enjoyable escape from reality but in the end it can be horrifically destructive.
Man! You and me must be the same person in two different bodies. Same life with domestic abuse , i saw my mother get beaten alot and I myself was subject to bullying by other adults as a small kid.
I am exactly like you , i do it in
silence and lying down with two pillows , one over and one under my head .
I am heavily addicted to it and don’t know how to stop .
Like the video said , I prefer daydreaming to sex and even food sometimes!
hey man i’m 19 this is me i got caught doing this at 16 infront of sum girls that were looking at me before i started doing it in front of them but hey whats ur instagram we can chat about this
The trauma of being abused mentally ,physically ,bullied as teen in high school ,no friends in adulthood, just left with daydreaming is the sad reality I faced after years. Family think im crazy and have never had a real life relationship outside my fantasies. This disorder does irreversible damaged to perception of the real world and can make you lose hope that you will ever get better. But take it one day at a time, enjoy the little things in life that are possible, and you can still live life.
Thank you so much for bringing recognition to this disorder. Knowing that i am not the only one suffering but many people across the world aswell makes me feel good. ❤
As a autistic man this was very helpful❤ thank you very much everyone for sharing the topic.
I wish there was a Russian translation for my family so I could show them, as this video is pretty complete imo. There's much more literature and videos about MDD in English than in any other language.
MDD is such a struggle. Just when I think I'm better, my mum reminds me that I'm actually worse 🙁
Here it is with Russian subtitles th-cam.com/video/QtoLFtYQ0QU/w-d-xo.html
@@elenarubtsova896 Omg спасибо вам большое!
@@elenarubtsova896 And thank you for making this film!
Вот видео с русскими субтитрами..
Мы очень надеемся, что вам оно окажется полезным.. 🖤
th-cam.com/video/QtoLFtYQ0QU/w-d-xo.html
Not worth it bro, you have to go through it alone, they would not understand. Stay strong bro
Relearn the skill of being present, hearing this hopefully helps me.
I was going to say how those observations* from the psychologist were absolutely fantastic -- then realized this is their channel! Delighted you've devoted much of your professional energy to this! Blessing! s * The innate trait of "the ability of immersive vivid fantasy; highly correlated to ADHD (chicken and egg, or simultaneous I think as in disconnected from the body/breath etc), persons who enjoy social energy but fear experience rejection, fantasies are pro-social typically..
Thank God I found this ...I don't feel weird or alone
I've been a prisoner of my Dreams during my whole life
Thank you immensely for speaking out for MDD.
I hv gone really crazy in my daydreams to the point I twisted my hand in a certain way while daydreaming and it got fractured plus the veins got streched and I couldn't even explain bout how I got injured and I just lied about being hit by a car. It must be studied and taken serious, it's not normal at all, even though people with this condition can act and pretend to be all fine and normal, it's still a serious condition. hv been suffering from the consequences of living in fantasy world for so long & I ruined my health & my body as well as career , it should be considered a serious mental disorder and must not be ignored. I hv adhd and fantasy prone personality disorder and hopefully a herb called Brahmi is helping me to get rid of it. Only good think about it is that it makes u a very good movie director or a fiction writer
Even when watching the video I daydreamed that I encounter Eli Somer and talked to him.
😔😔
Hey thats super normal. Your daydreams are using anything in your real life then fantasizing them in your imaginary world. Managing daydreaming is a process not a destination such as loosing fat. Keep going man until you reach this point in your life where your daydreams are not as exciting as your real life. I wish you courage and strenght. Don't hesitate to contact me if you want to chat about it. Peace
@@armandlereufaamandine3871 wow this comment was such a relief , you made my day , thank you
@@yusufhabib3507 you are welcome man.
Thank you for this video, as a fellow sufferer it took until I was a teenager to realise i had this.
As much joy as it brings at the moment I wish there was an 'off' switch.
For many years I had this condition I don’t even know if it’s a condition and still have it till this day it started when I was really young I know a lot of the things that that the woman went through in first part of the video about her parents fighting all the time is something that I went through myself as a child I was also kind of a lone wolf as a child I didn’t have alot of friends I was always bullied and picked on in school and even though I have this problem I have an older sister who I played with and it made my maladaptive daydreams more under control but as we got older we grew apart see started hanging out with friends and it just made the problem worse I started daydreaming more and more till I got so addicted that when people wanted to hangout including my sister I just said no I’m good but thank you I would spend hours in my room and still do incorporating movie characters and real people into my fantasy land it also gets worse if I’m moving in a care with earbuds and music or walking somewhere with earbuds in for a while I didn’t know what this thing was called and I thought I was the only one who had this issue all I know is ever since I was a kid I knew I would never grow out of this faze and if I come back to reality I feel bored or I have really bad anxiety so yeah it does help even though I know I need to stop plus I’m currently in school but have to stop to daydream or filing out paper work is hard sometimes to
I really needed to see this video. It made me feel not alone and less out of mind❤ Thanks you
Thank you soo much for the film as well as your research! Even though, some details are different for me, the feeling of reward, the addictiveness, the escape, the emotions are there. I ususally fall into it, when specific emotional needs aren't met in real life. So in the maladaptive dadreamworld I create situations, in which these needs are met. I don't enjoy the dreaming situations itself since they are rather upsetting for me, but they are still rewarding in a weird sense... by overall feeling emotionally better, daydreaming gets less. From daydreaming every single day up to several hours for many years I got better to sometimes for a couple days to weeks for several h a day. Sadly most mental health professionals have never ever heard of that condition and misinterpret it as something nice, enjoyable, controllable and see it as a resource rather than a problem. But hearing that treatment for behavioural addiction might be helpful I will look into that.
Wow I’m speechless… this has literally been one of the greatest challenges, but also one of the main sources of security and comfort in my life.
I know it’s been a crutch and held me back at certain points, but honestly I can’t imagine what my life would be like without it.
I’m so glad I have a name for this ❤❤ we are the same and I’m trying to stop it!
Thank you so much for your work.
Dr. Somer, thank you for your hard work. I'm a tough dreamer. I always shake my hands when I fantasize. I run and jump. I don't understand this need. Sometimes I do this when I look at boiling water in a pot or kettle. I'm starting to feel this process as well as my dreams. Also, lying on the bed, I begin to toss and turn from thoughts that excite consciousness. I can imagine the interlocutor and talk to him out loud. Help
We will soon launch a study on movement in MD.
@@SomerClinic This is great news . Without movement, dreams wouldn't be so maladaptive. I also easily dissociate in transport and on swings
Thank you so much for your videos and what you do. I only recently found your channel and haven't watched all of your videos yet. I don't know if this has been mentioned anywhere, but this is a method I started testing recently. I keep a daydreaming diary. When I want to start day dreaming, I write in my notes the date and number of the entry. And about the following text: Now I go into dreams and fictional reality, because I experience a lot of unpleasant emotions (anger, fear, irritation, misunderstanding). I don't have the energy to deal with it. I know how to make myself feel good very quickly. So now I am going to imagine a perfect love story where I will be more attractive, smart, happy, funny, cool, etc. ( describe in details what I want to imagine in my head)
IMPORTANT: When keeping these notes, I don't shame myself for daydreaming. I am honest with myself and have an understanding attitude. It is very important to accept the situation and yourself in it. Be aware of yourself and your emotions. THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO IS TO STOP DEMANDING TOO MUCH OF YOURSELF.
I invented this method myself, as the others I had heard about helped me little or were very hard to follow due to lack of discipline( meditation for example).
I'm surprised, but often after writing these things down, I can suddenly stop wanting to go into daydreaming. As they lose their appeal in my eyes and I sort of unmask them. And even if I do go into daydreaming afterwards, I can still see the statistics ( how often, because of what emotions and what exactly I am looking for in daydreaming)
I’ m a Brazilian ,my english it’s Not very good,but you really helped me with myself and a problem from my all life until now .I unmasked this and the reasons Why i do that .
I hope This method you said Can helps me as well with the God’s help ! Um abraço
Thank you for posting this. I'm going to write down everything surrounding my mdd. I too always feel I'm not good enough which I know is one thing that triggers the daydreaming.
How about maybe using a 12 step program to overcome MD since it's an addiction. I found it very helpful seeing it through that lense, at the end of the day, addictions have very similar mechanisms and there's been a lot of research on other addictions. It's the only thing that's really made a difference for me.
Ooh! This sounds really promising! How exactly? Both my parents were alcoholics and I vaguely remember doing a child of alcoholic parents group, but it has been many years since they both passed on and I can’t quite remember the details. I’m doing mindfulness and meditation (Tai Chi and Nei Gong are really helping with this as I just couldn’t get the mindfulness/meditation going), prayer, journaling, therapy, podcasts.
Doc. Sommer, someone gave me advice to practice breathwork. Its been a while doing daily calming breathworks like 4-7-8 and box breathing. I feel like my brain is healing, I am more in control of MD and see the motives more clearly behind stories. I feel like my brain is healing letting go of resistence of Maladaptive Daydreaming. This is only a tool that I use, also mindful meditation helps a lot. #breathwork
I really love this.
Thank you💓
It seems quite obvious really what the solution is. Slow but steady positive community & social reinforcement since these people have been convinced they will be rejected by others. They need proof they are valuable to others and get the dopamine hits from thrills and successes with this. The brain must be rewired and the simple DNRS (dynamic neural retraining) exercises should help- these are visualization but a different kind. Feeling and being alone all the time will only feed the desire to retreat. What I find a bit scary is that most of these people are creatives! 3 here are Designers. Yikes! My life changed so much socially just before the pandemic and dramatically through the pandemic until even now- I’ve been really quite shockingly alone for 3 years, so I keep hitting walls of resistance being motivated and not retreating a little. It’s not extreme but seeing these folks I realize that I too don’t want to waste my life and remain in what’s “safe” but also a bit of a ghost’s existence. A challenging time to rebuild a social life when socialising can literally harm your health (covid & it’s scary long term impacts on everyone’s health). So it’s a whopper of a time we’re living in! Thx for the video, I’ll now watch the ones on how to reconnect to the world with excitement and positivity and enthusiasm for the good things it can hold. :)
hey I really like what you had to say here, would we be able to dive further. I'm researching about DNRS. Would I be able to share my email?
I started mdd at age 12. I had a very active social life, especially in my teens and 20's. I still continued to dd in spite of all the people and friends around me. I would sit in a car while my bf or someone was talking to me, and dd at the same time. I can multitask by daydreaming and be in the middle of a conversation.
It's easy for someone not going through it to say, hey just be more social and get a life, but it simply doesn't work that way.
But it actually does hurt all of us, non of us are genuinely happy with our maladaptive daydreaming addiction.😢
I would have achieved more in life if I wasn't a daydreamer, 3 days ago I wrote down 10 goals to achieve this week, I achieved my first goal the first day but the 2nd & 3rd day all I did was return back to my daydreaming habit, today is the 4th day, I'm fed up and disappointed in my self,I was looking for solution to my problem like I've been doing ever since discovered the name of this addiction 3 yrs ago.
Very helpful. Thank you so much!
"Everything's gonna be alright..and this time, in real world" 🥲♥️♥️👍
That strikes...
Everything was ok until she said that then I lost it
I’m trying to have hope but it’s hard. Idk, we can all get through this and one day things will get better or maybe it will get better little by little every day ❤️🩹
i started Daydreaming from 8years old to become a Cricketer, today I am 30 & half years old, it took 22 years to fully Quit Maladaptive DD
all my life I failed again & again to avoid daydream, failed in engineering, failed to develop a Hobby, I failed to live a real life, but finally 6months ago I visited a Psychologist when I was sacked from my job due to not Focussing on my Tasks.
4months ago I got an opportunity to be a Junior Data Analyst, happy with my Life, almost no Daydream, no Procrastination, no ADD(attention deficit disorder) , no smoking cigarettes at all.
*Thanks to :-*
1. everyday sleeping & waking up on a set time even on weekends
2. reading
3. meditation
4. limited use of Mobile Phones (no insta/fb)
5. regular exercise
6. practice (stock market/python coding) atleast 10-20mins per day
7. paying gratitude & affirmations
8. journaling / planning a night before
9. sandeep maheshwari content
*did this 9 things for 7-8 months, and results shocked me*
@@Rosie333SophiaHey, i strongly recomend meditation, it's really helping me, you should try!
This explains why I can barely remember my childhood....
I've maladaptively daydreamed so long, so far back that I have no way of knowing what trauma created it. I usually daydream about being a performer of some kind, usually an actor or a singer, or I'll insert myself into a TV show as a new character. It's either that or face life as a talentless nobody.
Trauma is not a necessary condition for the development of this mental addiction.
Without daydreaming u will be bored and u will stop feeling joy in life trust me every video I watch feel like just watching not living so what the point in watching it just make sure u control it better but it might just be me I hope I get it back haven’t felt the same ever seen I lot my daydream and sleepdream
I have OCD, ASD, and _seemingly_ Maladaptive Daydreaming. I don't trust myself to know whether I do or not, especially because my OCD tricks me. So to ask directly, what is the difference between MD and a minor "normal" case of being in your own little world (emphasis on little). Let's put it this way: I do not let my imagination and daydreams interfere with my actions, tasks, and interactions with people. Nobody would be able to tell.
One of the main reasons for my supposed MD is my thirst to be something special to my half-sister's family. I've always been jealous of her, and I don't have a paternal side, or a dad. That's when the potential MD "games" started. My role is the hero/protagonist in my fictional story, that comes from their point of view (it's a hypothetical _"if they saw me as this"_ game. It's complicated. Is there anyone who understands so far?
It got deep and real toward the end
I have been "relapsed" for 3 years now. Every time i try to quit i get the urge to dip my toes in. I cant get work done or be present
Treat it like any other vice or thing you like doing consistently, take controle and set boundaries for yourself. And most importantly dont push it away, let yourself experience your daydreams within reason.
Isn't that like telling an alcoholic to let yourself have alcohol within reason?
@aquaseahorselove3939 yeah kinda
Childhood......... It just seem so UNJUST that a traumatic Childhood can haunt you for so long...... I mean you were a child.None of it was your own fault.
I am also suffering from same thing.
I daydream for about 10- 12 hrs a day.
I really need help to get out of it.
I wish to live in real world but maladaptive daydreaming isn’t allowing 😭😭 I am 16 and it’s ruining my life my studies are getting worse.
Shit, I'm sixteen and autistic. I didn't realise how much this stuff was wrecking my life. Luckily I've only been doing it for a few months. I'm realising now that I probably started because my life just felt so empty..
I think I'm gonna try writing about my daydreams to try to stop myself from spending so much time daydreaming. But cos I'm autistic, i find it so hard to make my life feel less empty.
I would love tto study more this. HOw the personnality (introvert/extravert hpersensensibilitt/ hypersensitivity) is linked to it. What was the childhood of the person ? Was it happy, sad, violent, neglectful parents ?
I do daydreams since childhood. I'm addict to it, I don't do it all the time because I force myself to resist, but the thought of doing is always here.
Mains emotions : fear, sadness and tears, frustration, anger, comfort, hug, reassuring speech.
Practicly always the same scenario just some details changes.
Main character :( I embody him ) always a young men 20-40 years, 90% of the time,( bc maybe subjectively I think a men is psychologically stronger than a girl) the other 10% I embody myself (a girl).
Second character : mainly a men (70%) but always older than the first wich as the role to comfort me (the first character) when I'm angry or sad during my daydreams (I think it's the figure of a father I would love to have bc mine was who was neglectful and psychologically abusive in my childhood without ever responding to my childhood needs, was there but didnt care)
Hi. I too would like to explore more about this problem. I have had difficulty with daydreaming since I was 10 years old. I am looking for someone to discuss my experiences and those of others, as well as share our successes and ways of coping with daydreaming
Same. I also am the male character in my dd. I guess I feel that as a female I was given the short end of the stick. Not strong enough to do things I wish I could do or be in real life.
Very interesting
For those who are seriously sick of it and just want to enjoy real life but is too addicted, meditation will help you a lot! A LOT!!!!
But i got distracted 😭
@@Amnawww02 I got distracted many times too when i started (mindfulness meditation), the beginning is the hardest part and takes some patience. It's important to start meditating for 2-5 minutes only, Then when It gets easier you start to increase the time. The secret is to not get mad/angry when you get distracted, cause that's pretty normal when you're a beginner so just get your focus back when it happens (when It will happen a lot). Willpower is the key. ✌️
as a writer, md is a serious gift/ talannt , if you learn how to control it.
Maybe
God bless you.
Does anyone else have OCD with maladaptive Daydreaming???
Your’e really a Life changer
I recently just found out of this disorder because my parents were looking it up for me, I have been experiencing this for almost 4 years without even realising it, I am a teenager so there is a lot to worry about, I have been having daydreams that I can bearly control, and sometimes this hapoen in class and its so hard to focus, I find I focus more in art and English because of my creativity, I live righting stories and doing art, I used to have really bad panick attacks because of my past and my parents think that's what might have started it, I have really bad anxiety and that makes it even harder to control since its kind of like an addiction, I experience this everyday, eventide I get up and everytime I go to sleep, this is affecting my sleep, it keeps me from eating or drinking and sometimes I even get headaches from it, I have been experiencing a lot recently and I think that made it worse, I will be going on holiday soon though and after that I will be going to the doctors and be telling them about it, and my parents say that while we are there I should get tested for Autism since it's a symptom abd I also have a lot of other symptoms there to, I am so glad there are other people like me, luckily I still have my friends and I have told them, they have understood and are trying to help me, it's really like a story that goes on for infinity, these Characters in my head are Characters that I used to play with as a kid and I hope everyone gets through this soon xxxxx 😢
I’ m Brazilian and i hope you ask God for being With you and show you How you Can get through This !!!!
@miguelbertolucci2272 yeh thanks, I've got a Christian family, so I pretty much do it every night, thanks 😊, I'm British.
I've always had this but only when music is playing. I have it where I'm in a music video or a film, or a situation. I will act it out. Its private though, nobody knows.
I feel so ashamed...I am autistic and lesbian. I usually end up compulsively daydreaming about women I find attractive. Lately for example I am obsessed with Loreen the singer. I spend hours watching her videos and dream about her. It's being going on for 4 days non stop now, don't even know how I manage to go to work. I feel very ashamed because I am 40 years old. I shouldn't be doing this... Not the first time that happened either, but with Loreen is the first time and most intense. She is so addictive, so beautiful... I feel sorry for myself...
If u cant escape daydreaming, reduce it every minute less is a progress per day.
Ever since I was a child I did that
Thank you for the video!!! Great to understand WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO MY MIND
I Love You All.
" - And this time in a real world" :)
It's me too
7:00 that's me i was thinking the same yesterday
Powerful
If one uses people from real life as charachters in the daydreams, is it possible that then the things one immagined about the real-life people are attributed to those people in real life? Like, for example, my friend fantasizes a lot about people she barely know and I think she ends up suspecting things of them which are totally fruit of her immagination. She attributes intentions and thoughts to people's behaviour though she barely knows them.
Most MDers do not confuse their daydreaming with reality. But when one daydreams vividly plausible scenarios about real people - the boundaries between fantasy and reality can be blurred.
Is this not normal? Like, is this something not everyone deals with?
Most people who have immersive daydreaming do not suffer any significant distress or impairment of functioning.
🤍
Jé Češi!😮😮kéž by to většina lékařů brala vážně
What is the solution people heeeeeeeeeeeeeelp 💔💔💔
Real life is kinda of the prison to me
I wouldn’t do art ever again if I couldn’t see it and share my silly stories to people .I don’t like the pacing though and losing opportunities but what does it matter if I’m not there.😂Life is absurd .
Manifest those dreams into reality and be an adult, face the harshness of the world Period. Filled me with emotions.
I recommend the book ´The Power of Now´ By Eckhart Tolle.
It will teach you how to live in the present moment, how to learn to silence your thoughts and find happiness & joy.
This book helped me very much and im still learning more.
Get the audible version as you can listen while working or walking.
I doubt, most of this self-help books are not written from the perspective of a maladaptive daydreamer. I've read many self-help books my self.
@@chidiemeke8331 I might write a book as I have cured it.
Anybody leap up and start discussing with an imaginary interviewer maladaptive daydreaming whilst watching this? Oh I also managed to leap up again and start daydreaming about building a twin engined Austin Metro van. I think there was a third dream but I've forgotten it. Not even finished the video yet.
Yup I just did that, i just daydream that I am one of the people giving the interview about daydreaming