The Daydreamers

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 12 ก.ย. 2024
  • What if you're addicted to your own fantasy? THE DAYDREAMERS explores Maladaptive Daydreaming, a condition discovered by professor Eli Somer. Protagonists Agatha and Jessica meet Somer on-camera, providing a moving testimony of their experience living life cut off from reality.
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ความคิดเห็น • 134

  • @jupiterb1868
    @jupiterb1868 ปีที่แล้ว +168

    "It's much easier to feel important and loved if you daydream about it" - that hit home

    • @oOBubbleStreamOo
      @oOBubbleStreamOo ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Same. It's always amazing to listen to somebody talking about things that for many many many years you had thought nobody on the planet would understand and you were completely alone with. Especially when I hear her talk about the WAY she dreams: Watching other characters you've created from the outside sort of like a writer of a book or a director of a movie (15:55 - 16:33). This is 100 % me. On the internet I know quite a few other people like this though, for example people who write or just dream up FanFiction or novels: many of them are like us. I wish I could give the girl in this video a hug 🙏

    • @fierypickles4450
      @fierypickles4450 26 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Ouch

  • @olyvarjohannes6094
    @olyvarjohannes6094 ปีที่แล้ว +65

    I'm now daydreaming about being interviewed

    • @olyvarjohannes6094
      @olyvarjohannes6094 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@idontknow6265 I'm doing fine

    • @ahmedkamel8292
      @ahmedkamel8292 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      iam now daydreaming that iam recovered from it and iam being interviewed to help other people stop it

  • @msalopezbard8970
    @msalopezbard8970 ปีที่แล้ว +169

    We need you keep working on this. I've spent most of my life on maladaptative daydreaming, to the extent life has become unimportat cause it doesn't compete with my imagination at all. I've seen my house to get darker and darker until I realized it was almost evening, and I dis nothing. I've follow you since you started making videos about it, but I wasn't brave enogh to take part of your investigation. It has taken a huge part of my life. I am 60 now. Thanks for all you are doing for us. Greetings from Buenos Aires Argentina.

    • @ladiagonal2844
      @ladiagonal2844 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Ey, saludos desde mar del plata amigo soñador😊

    • @matiasacosta2298
      @matiasacosta2298 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yo también creo tener lo mismo practicamente toda mi vida desde los 6 años aprox y tengo 30 años, por verguenza nunca se lo eh contado a nadie, también soy de Bs As. Saludos.

  • @MsRosirosi
    @MsRosirosi ปีที่แล้ว +32

    woow... a documentary about my disease... I can't believe I am alive and it's 2023 and we are here to watch the extraordinary work of Professor Eli Somer

  • @IAMLOKXANIME
    @IAMLOKXANIME ปีที่แล้ว +46

    My biggest issue is disassociation. Sometimes I feel detached from my own life, like it doesn’t belong to me, like it’s a burden to live it and it’s rather my maladaptive dream my true reality. It’s so difficult because you don’t want to deal with reality because you can’t control it. While with maladaptive daydreaming you control everything. If you can control it, it can’t hurt you

    • @chidiemeke8331
      @chidiemeke8331 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      But it actually does hurt all of us, non of us are genuinely happy with our maladaptive daydreaming addiction.😢
      I would have achieved more in life if I wasn't a daydreamer, 3 days ago I wrote down 10 goals to achieve this week, I achieved my first goal the first day but the 2nd & 3rd day all I did was return back to my daydreaming habit, today is the 4th day, I'm fed up and disappointed in my self,I was looking for solution to my problem like I've been doing ever since discovered the name of this addiction 3 yrs ago.

  • @heatherm8736
    @heatherm8736 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    So crazy that academics could just reject his paper when it is so,clearly a massively common issue. It became a major issue for me during the few years after I finished university. I gave up looking for,work related to my degree and just daydreamed. Like for hours and hours a day. When my safety net (parents) were lost in then had to try start a career. The interview,process was so soul crushing. My degree was cum laude but of course employers were all just baffled by the gap on my cv. I.e what had I'm done for the last 4 years after graduating. I had done it most of my life but this was the first very noticeable consequence

  • @shadowthesun8209
    @shadowthesun8209 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    “Realistic goals will never satisfy me” “as long as I am daydreaming I will never be okay”
    I definitely feel this way about life, there is just no way I can en corporate daydreaming with reality and actually be okay. Daydreaming has always been an escape for me, and I think for many of us who keep trancing in this high-chasing state everyday, it will always make us bored of anything else.

  • @yvonnemariane2265
    @yvonnemariane2265 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Your videos are exquisite 16:33 she seems scared for a moment you don't understand that it doesn't involve her -- she feels so meek that even in fantasy she's a spectator. The allure is similar to what leads people to be addicted to shows, movies, series, books, celebrity narrative etc .? 26:14 the beauty that comes out when souls are tenderly seen, both of them so relaxed looking at the end.

  • @pyropls
    @pyropls ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Thanks to everyone involved in this video. MDD has been the bane of my existence

  • @pushpamsingh3870
    @pushpamsingh3870 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I wanted to talk, to communicate with people, to feel loved and understood, to get emotional interactions. I didn't get it in reality sufficiently. So, I started getting it in daydreaming. Gradually, this became the replacement of the healthy social interaction I needed in real life. And I ended up becoming a maladaptive daydreamer.

  • @adilphulpoto5120
    @adilphulpoto5120 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    I felt helpless and ashamed of myself but now that i know what it is and their are other people who are struggling with this situation i feel less lonely and i have after so many years some hope. Thank u so much Dr. Somer.

  • @kind-pe1hh
    @kind-pe1hh 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    More people need to watch this!!! This could save the world. ❤
    Or at least my world if the right people watched this.
    I dream this goes viral.
    Mdd addict. Plz

  • @nothingmore6108
    @nothingmore6108 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +21

    I really hope this condition is taken more seriously by psychologists one day. I've been maladaptively daydreaming for at least 13 years. I'm 25 years now, and it has become an automatic part of my life where it just goes on in the background non-stop, even when I'm talking to others. I daydream about more fantasy-based stories or scenarios but I also live my real life in them, where they have replaced my hobbies, relationships with others and more. It has really crushed my life and I can't stress enough the regret of looking back at the time I've wasted on this condition. I don't even know how to bring it up to a therapist, but I'm at least glad that there are others experiencing this and that I am not alone

    • @turtleanton6539
      @turtleanton6539 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Me2

    • @jihanblm
      @jihanblm 6 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      I feel the same things when I go to my fantasy world there is nothing bothering me but when I come back to reality I can't live really life is so hard and what makes it more hard is that I see that I waste a big part of my life in daydreaming and I didn't achieve anything really that makes me so sad

  • @revolutionarydefeatism
    @revolutionarydefeatism 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    I was a super shy child, and I started daydreaming as a child. The unique characteristic of my daydreaming is that when I'm alone, I start pacing and daydreaming and after maybe less than a minute, my body moves randomly and very fast, I almost jump all the time and my hands move very fast like I'm making random gestures. Also, I start making noises like the German "pf" sound by pumping air out of my mouth. My parents and siblings call it püff-a-püff In our dialect. The second aspect is that if I realize somebody saw me, I feel embarrassed! The third aspect is that I always daydream about an evolutionary scenario: building a civilization from hunter-gatherers' time until a distant future, developing a war, a revolution, a construction project, whatever! I never saw faces or characters, there are no emotional bonds. I continue my scenario in multiple episodes, and mostly or always it ends up unsatisfied!

  • @livyf250
    @livyf250 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I've been doing this for over 13 years too. I lost a job, I failed two colleges because I had a panic attack when I realized that reality is not like what I imagine in my head. I don't have friends anymore, I can't even look at my family. People in my family die and I don't feel anything, it feels like I'm not even there. I ended my life daydreaming. is very sad. I put on music and walk from side to side, my feet are really hurt because of this.

    • @livyf250
      @livyf250 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Dear Eli Somer, I will write my story here and I hope to help you for research purposes. Thank you for giving relevance to this subject. I suffered a trauma when I was 6 years old. Since I was little I have been rejected because I was never a beautiful person, I always suffered from obesity too, I was rejected everywhere I went. At the age of 10, I was grade 3 obese. When I was at school, I was bullied a lot, my models were broken and my schoolwork was stepped on. Every day I was bullied without ceasing. I started daydreaming excessively when I was 10/11 years old, my daydreams were always about me being beautiful and loved by people. When I was 14/15 years old I developed anorexia and lost a lot of weight, I became very sick. To distract myself from hunger, I daydreamed constantly. Even though I lost weight, I didn't feel beautiful. I continued to be rejected and my daydreams started to be about different topics. I became addicted to anime, series, kdramas fanfics and, in my head, I was always living the lives of those characters. I didn't do anything other than go to school and daydream, I didn't occupy my mind with anything else. Since that time, I started pacing back and forth while listening to music and daydreaming. But I got addicted. These days I can't connect with people. I daydream all day. I'm already 23 years old and I failed 2 colleges due to absence, in addition to having lost my job because I can't handle the stress of adult life. I've always imagined the world completely different and whenever I'm faced with reality, I run away because it hurts too much, I can't master real skills. I had panic attacks at work and at college. Every day I created social interactions in my head that didn't happen in reality and that made me anxious. I have always been very alone and I think this contributed to the development of the disorder. I can't connect with people anymore, not even my family, it seems like my love for them has diminished because I don't interact. People in my family die or get sick and I don't feel anything, it's as if I wasn't even there to see my family member's suffering, it's as if I were a stranger because I can no longer maintain connections. I can talk but I'm always in my head. Sometimes I eat some food and start to daydream, when I see the food is gone and I didn't even notice.In my mind I am powerful, I am beautiful, I have the skills to deal with reality but in reality it is an illusion. I feel really good daydreaming but when I come out, it hurts a lot, because I know I haven't done anything concrete in the real world. I always walk from one place to another listening to music, I do it every day, from the moment I wake up and, if I run out, I get distressed. If I get into a car or bus, I start to daydream.

  • @wordsworth_
    @wordsworth_ ปีที่แล้ว +61

    I'm currently watching the video, but
    I just started college again after dropping out because of my social anxiety, my daydreaming addiction got extremely bad during my "break" ( I didn't leave my house for 2 years, daydreaming almost 24h/24 everyday, ghosted all of my friends, ect... ) so these videos are quite comforting to me, it feels less lonely to know that there are other people who experience maladaptive daydreaming too.
    Thank you for the hard work, it means the world to me and so many others aswell.

    • @oOBubbleStreamOo
      @oOBubbleStreamOo ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I ghosted most of my friends during my most intensive MDD-years, too and lost them. And I blame daydreaming for it, because if you're not careful it can change your priorities and the amount of energy it takes to fight for a friendship is lower than without MDD. I knew that but nevertheless couldn't stop or reduce it for more than a day. I only grasped it after being without any friends for a while.

    • @Renata_Neves
      @Renata_Neves ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Didn't you feel stressed by the daydreams? They were stressing me out and pissing me off, I think on the same level as drugs start. I gave up so many things without even seeing it just to live a complete lie. It was almost 10 years lived in white. I woke up daydreaming. I ate daydreaming. It took almost an hour to finish eating. I didn't have a routine - I think people who are addicted to anything don't have a routine. This made me angry because I wanted to live a simple life like certain ordinary people I looked up to.

    • @Renata_Neves
      @Renata_Neves ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I love talk about it. It's so exquisite.

    • @wordsworth_
      @wordsworth_ ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@Renata_Neves Oh absolutely. Daydreams can be very stressful to me, sometimes they get very "dark" as well, as in, daydreams where I'm hurting myself, yk and I loose control over them quite a lot.
      But funny that you talk about drugs, my therapist actually mentioned to me recently that compulsive daydreaming could be considered behavioral addiction in some cases. You should definitely check it out, it made so much sense to me.

    • @wordsworth_
      @wordsworth_ ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@Renata_Neves You edited your message while I was replying haha. In all seriousness, I'm really sorry you had to go through this. It's totally understandable that you'd feel this way. I relate to that a lot, especially since I'm an adult and everyone seems to be doing so good in life.
      I wish you well, MaDD is no joke.

  • @oOBubbleStreamOo
    @oOBubbleStreamOo ปีที่แล้ว +22

    13:35 Sounds familiar to me: I often dreamt/dream in OTHER characters who look/talk different from me, but yet obviously should represent me in some way (like "Being me is hopeless anyway, so it seems more realistic to use an alter ego for daydreaming")

    • @BiaPereira-ee7ho
      @BiaPereira-ee7ho 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Como você disse em seu comentário, é tão difícil ser a gente mesmo , até nas próprias fantasias, que é mais fácil criar um alterego um personagem que nos substitua, muito triste não gostar de si memso

  • @astoumbenediakhate4124
    @astoumbenediakhate4124 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Thanks for sharing this. I'm facing this problem. I used to think that It's dangerous for my mental health but know i have seen that I'm not alone. Greetings from Senegal in West africa

  • @Gooddaysalways
    @Gooddaysalways ปีที่แล้ว +29

    Wow! Thank you for sharing this! I am so happy that they chose to share their stories about how Maladaptive Daydreaming affects their lives every second of the day.
    I have been doing this since I was a child. And after watching your videos helped me to seek professional help and to also have a better way of explaining my symptoms. I’ve made so much progress! Meditation, yoga and practicing mindfulness has helped during my journey! I still daydream and probably always will but through this process I’ve learned so much about myself. We have to be more kind to ourselves! Give ourselves time and grace just like we would to a friend that was going through the a difficult time.

  • @nikisingh5708
    @nikisingh5708 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    😥😭😂LOL the video haven't even started: I started to cry. Because I know how u feel and what ur going through. I started when I was 11 years old to escape a horrible reality. My thoughts, prayers and love to u all.

  • @michaelajadeb
    @michaelajadeb 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    so much of my life has been spent choosing my daydream life over reality. i can’t remember a time where i wasn’t maladaptive daydreaming. it consumes hours of my days, every day, and has for over 15 years. it’s always been an escape to a place where i’m loved, safe and happy especially growing up as an only child in a horrible home. now i’m 26 and i’ve wasted my life in my head. i spent years wondering what was wrong with me and thinking i was the only one doing this. i thought i was crazy so it’s comforting to find i’m not the only one struggling with the same coping mechanism. i’ve tried for years to stop but most of the time, reality is the secondary life while my daydreams become the main focus. i’ve never told anyone i do this and i think commenting my story here will be the first step for me. this documentary and his work means so much to me. i feel seen.

    • @livyf250
      @livyf250 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I've been doing this for over 13 years too. I lost a job, I failed two colleges because I had a panic attack when I realized that reality is not like what I imagine in my head. I don't have friends anymore, I can't even look at my family. People in my family die and I don't feel anything, it feels like I'm not even there. I ended my life daydreaming. is very sad. I put on music and walk from side to side, my feet are really hurt because of this.

  • @heminhimdad
    @heminhimdad 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    The hardest time is the days when u just can't get out of bed,because the actual reality is so different from your dream reality, and you just don't want to accept it! And it's a vicious cycle, u have a stress u cope with it that way, but then ür stressed that u just spent hours doing nothing and ür coping mechanism to the stress is to go back to the daydream.

    • @livyf250
      @livyf250 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Yes!! I've been doing this for over 13 years too. I lost a job, I failed two colleges because I had a panic attack when I realized that reality is not like what I imagine in my head. I don't have friends anymore, I can't even look at my family. People in my family die and I don't feel anything, it feels like I'm not even there. I ended my life daydreaming. is very sad. I put on music and walk from side to side, my feet are really hurt because of this.

    • @heminhimdad
      @heminhimdad 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@livyf250 so sorry to hear that how you get better one day

    • @thesweetlifeeveryday8143
      @thesweetlifeeveryday8143 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I have lived the same situation for a couple of years now. But, I fell so much better and hopefully understanding what it is. There were times
      Where I just could take it any more, but came through the other side. This is the beginning of healing this.

  • @tbreytenbach9845
    @tbreytenbach9845 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    I relate with the girl saying she has a more outspoken side which gets reflected in her daydreams with her characters.
    I am extremely shy and introverted, so my daydreams always revolve around me being an extroverted, confident and likeable/desirable person, always the centre of attention. I always felt I can be like that in real life or that I actually am like that, I just need to get over my shyness. So if I keep on being this character in my head and playing the same recurring scenes over and over for hours, almost like practising, then I can become this persona in real life.
    A breakthrough for me was realising I am not really an extrovert or this outspoken, loud, social butterfly, and I don't like being the centre of attention. Its just not who I am and I never will be like that, no matter what I do. My healing journey evolves around me accepting myself as a reserved, introverted person (the real me) with only a small social circle, and realizing its okay to be like this, i need to rather focus on my actual qualities rather than wishing I was someone else.
    I think possibly a clue as to how to start the process of treatment or what to treat for mdd is by focussing on the exact nature of the fantasies, the key lies in the daydreams itself. For me its the case though. 😊

  • @oOBubbleStreamOo
    @oOBubbleStreamOo ปีที่แล้ว +11

    20:40 I know that vicious circle and being ashamed of „having done nothing“ and being exhausted by stuff that other people my age do so easily and joyfully. Nevertheless my MDD got much less as soon as I started working life after college: In work life I suddenly regained some feeling of self confidence and control over my real life whereas at school and in friendships I had often felt like I wasn‘t enough and going to parties and stuff that older teenagers do bored me and wore me out within minutes. At work I suddenly saw a benefit in exchange for the energy I had put into REALLIFE. So I think that MDD is also a search for control that I really lacked in my real life before I had entered work life. Mind you, I‘m still not „cured“ from daydreaming, I also see some benefits from it in certain situations, but it‘s much less and I‘m careful about how many room it takes in my reallife. Building new friendships isn‘t easy though. MDD is so much like an addiction, it‘s really true.

  • @ahmet43l-r2l
    @ahmet43l-r2l ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I think the biggest remedy for us is KNOWING WE ARE NOT ALONE This is the most powerful cure for sure. Knowing this, we should move forward with compassion without getting angry with our cat and knowing that we are not alone.

  • @Dennnny7
    @Dennnny7 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I've been doing this since I was about 7 years old. (I'm 17 now) I only recently found out that it has a name. I remember how it started. I watched TV and then I created 5 characters in my head that I named as the months of the year. I talked to myself as if I were the characters. I walked and talked. It only got another level when I was older and I created more characters and gave them real names. My grandmother had a swing in the garden and I always spent a lot of time there. Later I found other ways to do this. The characters are different than at the very beginning, but the basic ones were created from them. Some say that they create a new world where they and their friends are. But I don't. I'm not in that world, only the characters are there. They are excellently elaborated. I do it every day, but when I have to focus on something, an activity interests me, I stop. Or if I'm not feeling well, I'm not doing well, I'm not enjoying it. I have an exercise ball at home, I play music and jump on it. But if I can't be at home and have to be somewhere else for a long time, I can stop and just keep it in my head. But I can't stop completely. Everything is in okay at our house. Basically, I have everything I need, I just never had many friends and maybe that's why I needed to imagine friendships. Maybe when I was little I just had a bigger imagination, but now it's a different story than then. I feel that the characters in the story need to experience pain, some kind of suffering, and then someone will help them, and on and on. They have problems in the family, problematic relationships... but I personally have never had anything like that. So why am I projecting it into them? It's hard to talk to someone about it.

  • @blubbblubb6239
    @blubbblubb6239 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    it feels sad and reliefing at the same time to see this film. Sad, as would have needed that film as a teenager, when I felt as a super weirdo...
    I started daydreaming as a small child, continued exessively from 13 on and had an issue with it into my mid to end twenties. I started therapy for depression at 21. Noone ever recognized, took it seriously or treated it in any way. I think it might have been in 2016/2017, when I stumpled accross the term the first time after plenty years of googling it over and over... It is 2024, I got lately diagnosed with cptsd and meanwhile I do maladaptive daydreaming maybe few times a year, but if so, then between 3-7h a day, 2-7 days in a row. I know my triggering emotional need and try to fulfill that need differently today.
    You CAN heal from it! You ARE strong!

  • @nangia_vivek81
    @nangia_vivek81 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I think working on myself and doing things which I love especially outdoor activities has reduced my day dreaming

    • @abhinashsinghania440
      @abhinashsinghania440 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Can you pls explain how you reduced your day dreaming time , I've wasted 1 year just day dreaming 24hr/day 😭😭😭, I didn't went outside of my home , didn't talked with any friend for 1 year , day dreaming is sucking life out of me pls help

  • @youxine
    @youxine ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Thanks for sharing this - I follow Prof Somer's work and waiting for MD -Maladaptive Daydreaming- to be recognised as a part of ICD and DSM criteria. I hope more researchers spend time on this and learn about why's and hows and what to do about it effectively.

    • @Tes73792
      @Tes73792 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      It should be registered as an actual disorder. If OCD is, then MDD should be as well. I think both are very much alike. Is MDD to be a form of OCD or to just fall into one category... But they are similar in their behavioural patterns. Let's say OCD - you have the obsession, which is the repetitive thought and you have the compulsion, which is the repetitive rituals they do for soothing. MDD - you have the obsession - the daydream, scenario, the idea and you have the compulsion - pacing, acting it all out...
      It is very similar and it is all for soothing your nerves and mind. It works, but impedes you for your personal development and growth. So question now is, how do you overcome it and could you really do it?! Without meds.

    • @caliupecarvalho6406
      @caliupecarvalho6406 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      reforma íntima 🤍

  • @pelinogut2939
    @pelinogut2939 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    One of my old friends has told me about this. Now I understand what he was talking about. Its kind of sad because I think he doesnt want to do anything about it. As if he is happier there and there is no reason to come back to reality. He became more isolated than before. I remember him staring to a wall for minutes. But he was sitting still, not walking in circles.
    I read your article about personality traits and MD. Grandiosity fits his theme I guess. There is one piece he once told me. He was sitting on a throne and was making judgements about sinners. Maybe religious beliefs are important too.
    Your work is very important for many people. Not only for people who have MD, but also people around them. Congratulations 🌸

  • @sereen.
    @sereen. ปีที่แล้ว +10

    THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART FOR THIS ♥ You will help SO MANY people. Awareness needs to be spread about this.

  • @LoAginSE
    @LoAginSE ปีที่แล้ว +3

    It is so hard to accept that I have suffered for most of my life with this ailment, but never made much of an effort to seek help. I suppose that I have come to accept it as an integral part of my life. I have always told myself that I would eventually snap out of this way of life, eventually normalize, but “tomorrow” can be such a dangerous and deceptive word. I now realize that I am not crazy. Your research has given me hope. Perhaps now I can finally wake up. Thank you🙏

  • @NomadsLost
    @NomadsLost ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Hi! I took part in your study back in I think 2013 to 2014.
    I'm glad I could be a part of this research. I have been addicted to MDD since childhood. Still not over it...and still waiting for a proper cure.

  • @saraebrahimi1265
    @saraebrahimi1265 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    And really thanks for people who sharing their their experience in front of camera, I really know that really hard

  • @pikachupikachu97
    @pikachupikachu97 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Thank you so much Dr. Somer for your research into this topic!!!
    For me there are like different "worlds/alternative universe", and my mind logs into them depending on what i feel like to be in. Sometimes i hate some worlds , so there are few other options and feels like no choice but to daydream because I'm craving it SO much and I can't focus on anything else until i daydream and get the craving down. And the characters, their faces everything is made up. New characters come and go, i make the dialogues, sometimes scenes repeat a lot. And there are bad and good things, not just all good. I think bad things happen in daydream because it gives me more attention from the characters, and it justifies the attention i get from them when bad things happen to my character.
    .. I've been daydreaming since around 2010-2011. Around that time i moved places, left all my besties and no phone or anything to contact. So was a bit lonely. One day i remember exactly, a guy who people at my home know played with me. Then i intentionally daydreamed about him that day, and i found it's fun because i can control and everything. Then i started making characters, places etc etc. That's how it started. Later things got hard various ways and this was my comfort zone. But when things get too hard i do hate myself for daydreaming instead of dealing with problems.
    From last year it got a little bit less because too many tasks in real life. But i still have lot of cravings to daydream daily.
    IMPORTANT NOTE: daydreams went down a bit BUT my suicidal thoughts went so high past year. In my country it's a stigma to go to therapy. So I'm not allowed to get help. Parents just watch me talk about suicide and do suicide attempts and scold me, that's it no therapy, nothing. So maybe it's connected, but not sure.

    • @gexrn8363
      @gexrn8363 ปีที่แล้ว

      Türk müsün

    • @meriambenabdallah9495
      @meriambenabdallah9495 ปีที่แล้ว

      I do hope you can get help stay strong ❤.

    • @meriambenabdallah9495
      @meriambenabdallah9495 ปีที่แล้ว

      But just to know did you try getting therapy from mobile or online

    • @pikachupikachu97
      @pikachupikachu97 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@meriambenabdallah9495 it's too risky for me, parents keep an eye on nearly everything i do. I don't earn yet either to pay for therapy since parents want me to focus on study, and can't ask them money for therapy without showing exactly what i did with the money.

    • @meriambenabdallah9495
      @meriambenabdallah9495 ปีที่แล้ว

      @pikachupikachu97 man your parents are so wrong for that i would first to tell them that if they loved you they would listen yo you and get you help ,but if not that then I guess looking at videos for this topic would help stay strong 💪 ❤️

  • @Cendaya
    @Cendaya 18 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I am from Germany, 33 y/o and I am daydreaming since i am 6 years old, like quiet 7 hours a day. My daydreams involve criminal acts, sexual acts, but all above, they revolve around recognition, being in love, and loyalty. The combination of the urge to get high on life while simultaneously feeling love and loyalty always reminded me of the movie "Suicide Squad". In real life, I feel dead. I'm either seeking high sensation situations or have completely isolated myself for weeks. In real life, I don't feel anything anymore. I don't trust anyone because I've been let down too many times, and I know this is due to my childhood trauma. I wanted recognition and admiration. That's why at one point, I even thought I was a sociopath, as these thoughts seemed narcissistic and psychopathic to me. But in real life, I didn’t behave that way. It's as if I have a deep longing for intimacy that I can't find in this world. And I've never met anyone who, despite being successful in many aspects of life, has reached the level of loyalty and love that I would consider exemplary.
    It’s a deep longing for intimacy and connection. Strangely enough, I know I can offer this intimacy, but I can't find anyone in real life who is as deep. A Rabbi ones said, that the opposite of being narcisstic is intimacy, so I new i wasn‘t, but maybe my abuser was.
    I think meeting that one loyal person in real life would maybe heal me. It’s like a Bonny and Clide thing, which isn't a good goal because their loyality and story ends in a hail of bullets.
    That's why I retreat into my dream world, where I experience emotional contact and intimacy with other characters, but expecially there is one man saving me, loving me and sometimes i make him jealous, too. I have a deep connection to them, and it drives me to despair that they don't exist in real life. If I lived as I sometimes dream and would put my dreams into reality, I sometimes think I would be in prison, dead, or just extremely successful and full of life. That's why for a long time, I thought I was a psychopath or sociopath. It's the thought: „what the hell is wrong with me“, that has haunted me my whole life. Like there is nothing in reality that can fullfill me.
    Thank you for your work. I hope i can get help one day.

  • @AbigailSmith-d7c
    @AbigailSmith-d7c 11 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I’ve been daydreaming since I was in kindergarten. Over time it’s gotten more and more intense. When I was 12 I started pacing back and forth while listening to music. It’s all I do now. If I’m not working I’m daydreaming. I have no friends. I don’t go out at all. The only other things I do is watch movies and shows to find materials for my daydreams. It’s affected my life. Like today for example. I’ve spent the entire day trying to clean my room but ended up spending most of the day daydreaming. Even cleaning my room is near impossible.

  • @PeachyPink14
    @PeachyPink14 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    wow I am stunned, I have never related to something so much in my life. This is something i’ve done since I was very little and have always kept it to myself. I am so grateful to have heard these other young women speak about it exactly how I experience it, and that it’s not just me and i’m not so “crazy”. thank you

  • @AnnaFloyd31
    @AnnaFloyd31 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Thank you for this wonderful documentary, and well done to those 2 ladies for sharing their experiences. It is very brave of them to go in front of the camera and talk about those things. I kept on crying all along… it was so relatable. I feel relieved and sad at the same time, but it is encouraging me a lot to get back to my real life, and find real happiness again. Thank you Mr Eli Somer for all your amazing work!

  • @user-yd7fj4zm3c
    @user-yd7fj4zm3c 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one dealing with this. This has been bothering me since I was 8yrs old I am now 18 so I have been maladaptive daydreaming for 10 years and it is worst experience ever

  • @ahmet43l-r2l
    @ahmet43l-r2l ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I'll beat this one day, I promise myself and you, it's never an easy situation, it's not a battle to be won right away but the result will be won for me

  • @imdead4073
    @imdead4073 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I've never ever felt so accepted and understood. This is something that has almost ruined my life and I couldn't realize where all my time and focus was going. Until I did recently. It's really paralyzing experience. My grades dropped and I'm in the last year of my school. This is probably the most important academic year of my life. I used to maladaptive daydream since I was like three. But it got worse when I went through a breakup two years ago. I resonate with that girl so much on a personal level. This habit destroyed my grades, my social life and my everything. I find myself in moments where I felt so helpless about my life and my future. But then the next moment I find myself fantasizing about it. Thank you so much for amplifying this topic. Please continue your work. People like me need you.

  • @user-sj5kg8sm9q
    @user-sj5kg8sm9q ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Would like to say something that I have recently realised that no matter what we all are going through, at some point we need to stop acting like victims of our difficult situations and start to act on them . At the end it's only you who can help in this mental illness so take motivation from your own life itself.

  • @NappyLilyfleur7004
    @NappyLilyfleur7004 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    After watching so many videos I can now say that im not all that weird! Sometimes i feel like it's better to be insane u know because an insane person doesn't have the consciousness of his environment or changing his predicament. But in MDD you see how it affects your daily life, and you are conscious. Yet it is so addictive, controlling and it gives you a fake sense of peace and comfort.
    Let's not talk about academics! You're not dull! Sometimes you set goals to achieve but maybe along the line while setting those goals you begin to daydream! I have had it for 15 years(5-20). It doesn't just dissociate you from social life. It also dissociate you from your potential and ability to achieve. I'm about to defend a project I know almost nothing about not because I'm stupid but because I Know what has been eating up my time.
    Maladaptive daydreaming is a world of comfort and convenience and as such a technical thing such as a research project is so overwhelming.
    I'm just helpless. Some people will come here and be like naaaaah! You're lazy and unfortunately that's how the rest will look at the situation but if only they knew.
    It gets harder when you have to carry out real life tasks or talk to people or manage real life situations.
    😢😢😢😢😢

  • @saraebrahimi1265
    @saraebrahimi1265 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    This one is amazing that you are not only one who has this problem, because I have talked with several psychologist . All of them were shuck that I spent four hours per just for daydreaming

  • @michelleheegaard
    @michelleheegaard ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Eli Somers is like the rockstar of Maladaptive Daydreamers around the world.

  • @OdysseyHome-Gaming
    @OdysseyHome-Gaming ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I hope those ladies stay in contact and become good friends. I find daydreaming is a coping strategy for profound loneliness; it's really hard to make genuine friends in this age.

  • @simi-xk3vg
    @simi-xk3vg 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I just discover that this is a thing…i never was aware that it is actually problematic … I am trying to figure out what is wrong with me for almost 2 years now, I just discovered today the concept of Escapism and maladaptative datdreaming…that is absolutely my coping mechanism for as long as I can remember…

  • @MrRobertbtb1
    @MrRobertbtb1 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    My whole life i'm doing this. I never know what it is. I researched for years what is going on with me and yesterday, out of the blue, i saw a Video about MD. I dont know what i am feeling right know. Every word about MD describes perfect what i'm feeling all the time. I've never met someone who experienced that. You three women are so brave to speak about. I feel literally every word. I watch this about 10 times. Thank you. Now i can search for comunity and maybe help. It feels like this will change everything for me.

  • @epluribuscorruptum
    @epluribuscorruptum หลายเดือนก่อน

    Great subject. Thanks for the video!

  • @ansjeliek
    @ansjeliek 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I’ve been maladaptive daydreaming almost all my life, but I don’t see it as a problem. I can take care of myself because I can still do whatever I’m doing, except I’m daydreaming while doing it.
    I’ve never had friends or a relationship, so I trick my brain into thinking that I have that. It’s also not isolating me, because without the daydreaming I still have agoraphobia just as bad.
    To me it’s just helpful, as if I have no other choice.
    People never match with me because I’m too serious and anxious, and therapy/medication never work

  • @Rora376
    @Rora376 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Something has entered your life, something unique of its kind, a world of your own, you, the people you love, your favorite foods, the colors you love, and the words you want to hear. All of this happens by your will. The thing that surprises me is everything I see in reality that I could not do in reality is happening in that. The world in my head is something I saw and was afraid of. In reality, I find it in my imagination while I do it. Something I am shocked by. I find it in this world. I do not know whether this world will kill me or whether I will kill it. I do not know whether I will spend my life in it or not.
    How do I start? and from where? Do I know my problem? But what is the solution? What is the eternal solution?

  • @HelinSj
    @HelinSj ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I was in a bad shape and upon researching i thought i was a maladaptive daydreamer. But now i realize i was just an extreme(intense?) daydreamer. It is similar but it is escapable than maladaptive daydreaming. It didn't feel like it besides I wanted to daydream. I skipped school, leave my friends... I just wanna say, only 1 person is working on this, Eli Somer so listen to yourself because not many people can recognise this not a lot of doctors can help you.

  • @fattiunavita4907
    @fattiunavita4907 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I've maladaptively daydreaming since i was 5 or 6 years old and only now I realize that I have some trouble, I'm in shock.

  • @rosajimenez7777
    @rosajimenez7777 20 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Been MDD since I was a little girl. I wanted to fix my mothers problems. Now. I want to escape mine. It’s not that severe. It’s only on my down time.

  • @user-sj5kg8sm9q
    @user-sj5kg8sm9q ปีที่แล้ว

    Thankyou so much for spreading awareness and making MD a valid and big mental problem, atleast I don't feel like an alien now.
    I have spent around 4 years of my life daydreaming and not living my life , but now I don't want to waste my rest of my life like this , like many others going to try my best to cure it..

  • @edaben22
    @edaben22 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    thank you so much for this movie

  • @samric2000
    @samric2000 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I think it happens to people with a very good occipital lobe when they go through a trauma in childhood because the occipital lobe of the brain is responsible for visual information, visual perception and imagination. Most of the people who have this disorder are into artistic background or usually quite good in visual perception and colours, shades, the brain uses the occipital lobe to endure the boredom or sadness or anything, the child or person feels, in my case it began in my childhood and at that time I wasn't smart enough to be conscious & understand the things, my brain took charge to make me survive & I started dreaming

  • @edomoeli1347
    @edomoeli1347 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    it really is an addiction and a vicious cycle. i would do anything to be able to get rid of it, but im so beyond the point of rationality that i can't separate the two - ..... i'd have to delete all of me.

  • @andr3s306
    @andr3s306 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I wonder if women are more likely to have this condition than men. Im saying this because most people in the clip are female. Of course, it could not be the case, and it could be that women are more open to talk about mental health.

  • @Tes73792
    @Tes73792 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    It should be registered as an actual disorder. If OCD is, then MDD should be as well. I think both are very much alike. Is MDD to be a form of OCD or just fall into one category... But they are similar in their behavioural patterns. Let's say OCD - you have the obsession, which is the repetitive thought and you have the compulsion, which is the repetitive rituals they do for soothing. MDD - you have the obsession - the daydream, scenario, the idea and you have the compulsion - pacing, acting it all out...
    It is very similar and it is all for soothing your nerves and mind. It works, but impedes you for your personal development and growth. So question now is, how do you overcome it and could you really do it? Without meds...

  • @zehraorhan4817
    @zehraorhan4817 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I almost cried. It's so emotional:(

  • @Melmel9703
    @Melmel9703 ปีที่แล้ว

    I'm coping a message I posted under an other video to tried to bring an other point of view:
    I am a MDD (I didn't know this term before today, I called it "mes rêves, "mon secret" wich means my dreams/my secret), it appears early in my childhood, it was really different from imaging a life like beeing a fee or a princess like I and all children do during childhood. No, it was a very intense and irrisitible idea that emerge intensly you don't know from when it come but you feel attractivly the need to respond at this idea,. When I was kid it was some scene from movies that create my first dreams, I felt the need to reproduce the scene but in a better way. at age 7 it was once in three month, at age 9 once a month, at age 12 it was every weeks and after 14 I needed to daydream every day. At first I could resit to it so I didn't daydream during school or homework. I told myself "you'll could dream when your work will be done". It was a motivational source of work. But then at 15 I start to be depressed, I felt alone and sad and those thougts invaded me every second of my day.
    Now I'm 25, I can daydream all my day during vacation but thanksfully I try to keep busy to not do it. But the compulsive need to daydream is still here with me every second every day and every weeks. I m also a young medicine resident since few months so I work a lot and I feel very very unpleasant to be disturbed by these thoughts throughout my day, it distracts me a lot and it feels very inappropriate. And when I do research work for my job I can't concentrate because I daydream so I procrastinate.
    It is annoying but I like doing it everynight. I'm addicted, I can't stop doing it and I love how I feel when I do it. I always told myself that the thought of needing to daydream is an obsession and daydream is a compulsion.

  • @evalehde3869
    @evalehde3869 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Walking dead. Yes.

  • @turtleanton6539
    @turtleanton6539 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Great 🎉🎉🎉😊

  • @ahmedelfajj4495
    @ahmedelfajj4495 ปีที่แล้ว

    From Morocco just found out about this channel

  • @abhinashsinghania440
    @abhinashsinghania440 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Can anyone pls explain how to reduce your day dreaming time , I've wasted 1 year just day dreaming 24hr/day 😭😭😭, I didn't went outside of my home didn't talked with any friend for 1 year , day dreaming is sucking life out of me pls help

  • @aprilpryor2332
    @aprilpryor2332 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    How can we help this become an official diagnosis? I thought that I was the only one. I have lost years of my life.

    • @SomerClinic
      @SomerClinic  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Only solid research-based evidence can make this happen. So, you can contribute to this effort by participating in MD research.

  • @surajgaikwad8463
    @surajgaikwad8463 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Sir pls do more research on maladaptive daydreaming and please find a solution to it maladaptive daydreaming is destroying my life since 10yrs I wake up and I started doing it & I end up doing nothing in the entire day just daydreaming I destroyed my 10yr in it please find a solution to it🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

  • @Renata_Neves
    @Renata_Neves ปีที่แล้ว

    I realized that without the daydreams I am more myself. The daydreams made me happy, but stressed and tired in addition to being full of problems. Without them I do what I have to do and that's very good. But, for now, I can't listen to music, see beautiful people, or watch interesting podcasts.

  • @angeladelorenzo732
    @angeladelorenzo732 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I wish I could meet both of them

  • @chigsktn
    @chigsktn 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    11:25 11 years!!
    that's scary bruhh💀

  • @TheAbnormal
    @TheAbnormal ปีที่แล้ว

    This man is brilliant, but what he fails to explain is that the daydreams coincide with an identity dissociation. It's more than just super daydreaming, its identity dissociation

  • @IIl_393
    @IIl_393 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    can I share my maladaptive daydreaming experiences with you? Maybe in email or something I want help by telling my story, childhood Trauma and physical,verbal abuse,bullying.emotional damage was the big reasons of excessive daydreaming .

    • @SomerClinic
      @SomerClinic  ปีที่แล้ว

      Sure. If you are of consenting age, please send your account to somereli @ me.com (delete spaces) and indicate that you agree that the content maybe used anonymously for research purposes.

  • @Soundsaboutreet
    @Soundsaboutreet 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I have this disorder but I don’t feel like I have childhood trauma. I struggled with school with concentration adhd type symptoms (still do) and I didn’t do very well in school, I hated every moment of it and I feel like my daydreams started as an escape from my boring mundane life. I have a chronic feeling of underachievement and social anxiety and when I’m daydreaming I can be a completely different person. All my daydreams seem to have a similar theme of me being successful or talented in something and I’m impressing people. It might be musical ability or dance or academic. All these things I lack in real life! Unfortunately my daughter also suffers with this condition and she really struggles. She also has a diagnosis of ASD. I was wondering if this condition is linked to neurodivergence? The people in this film all seem like quite quirky individuals.

    • @SomerClinic
      @SomerClinic  6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Trauma is not a necessary condition for MD. And, yes: MD is more prevalent among people with ASD than among neurotypical individuals.

    • @Soundsaboutreet
      @Soundsaboutreet 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@SomerClinic thank you for your reply and for this very insightful video.

  • @donomar4815
    @donomar4815 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I don't want to sound rude or judgemental but I find this documentary a bit weird. Certainly those women are brave to appear in front of a camera. May be this stress them out a title bit. But when they talk one would say that it is dramatic. Nevertheless I have a huge empathy for them. I am myself a maladaptive daydreamer and I don't speak or behave this way, may be that affects them more. I look joyful, I laugh, I am very extravert even though I may spend hours daydreaming but not in a row. This video makes me really uncomfortable . I don't know whether it is a medical condition or not but apparently yes. I read the famous article of Dr Somers by the way. Certainly this issue MDD, make us waste our time and energy but no to extent of looking sad and miserable. May be those cases are special or are deeply affected by it but thank you all for this. It is very instructive and make us feel like getting rid for good of this condition that is in my view nothing but a subtle way to refuse to grow up and face the harshness of the life. At least for a part of us. I am also a bit surprised that most of the comments as well as the participants are females? I If I have to give an advice, Just make your time busy, go out, have friends and deep conversations about whatever. The more you focus on MDD, , the more it affects you. Religion and spirituality also help. Don't see this as a disease but as some kind of an issue regarding the psychological maturity. It's a kind of unlived live as Jungian analysts would put it. And any unlived life gives a neurosis and any excess of neurosis and self blaming leads to something worse. Take it easy, go step by step to get rid of this not through your will but through a global reconfiguration of your mind and representations and emotions and way of living, feeling and thinking, and yout condition will get better. We are living in an era when we like to dramatize and exaggerate things. I am not denying the suffering but one should relax and try to find the deepest causes that lead to this.

    • @SomerClinic
      @SomerClinic  ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Making a clinical diagnosis without a professional psychological evaluation is improper. None of the women in this film is psychotic. .

    • @donomar4815
      @donomar4815 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@SomerClinic i havent said that in a nosographic way .i Just said (and i am sorry if it was not appropriate ) that in some ways it almost looks like this. May be the camera amplifies some appearances. I removed what I said anyway.

    • @IAMLOKXANIME
      @IAMLOKXANIME ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Maladaptive daydreaming for me is something painful because you stop living for living that life. It’s painful and heartbreaking to see yourself waste time like this. MDD is an addiction. You wish to stop but you can’t stop. It not emotional immaturity it’s an escape from reality. I don’t invalidate your feelings but it’s a disorder when it becomes an issue with your life

    • @mandy145
      @mandy145 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Why do you say you are a maladaptive daydreamer? Does it interfere with your life? It sounds like you are able to do things things you want to with your life, and other than the fact that you enjoy daydreaming a lot, it sounds like you can stop it any time. It doesn't interfere with your life so sorry to point this out, but you're not a maladaptive daydreamer but a regular person. Congratulations!

    • @fatimaarshad6987
      @fatimaarshad6987 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Your comment is very insensitive and dismissive, how can you say that these women are dramatic or to just go out there and stop MD?? That is like telling a heroin addict to simply just stop or distract themselves. If things were that simple, MD would not even be a concept at all. The intense daydreaming gives one a euphoric feeling, and the more they indulge in it, the harder it is to get rid of; its an addiction. MD is incredibly painful and disruptive to ones life It is like being trapped in your own body and seeing yourself fail again and again, It is hard to regulate and get rid of. When someone is unable to do things they desire to do, or has flaky relationships and millions of unfinished tasks, they do become miserable and distressed, it is natural and there's nothing "dramatic" or fake about it. Please, I suggest you open up your mind more and try to think critically. In this world, there are many possibilities one is unaware of. Criticizing and minimizing others struggles is disgusting.

  • @loveshine144
    @loveshine144 ปีที่แล้ว

    So good

  • @nukinemesh
    @nukinemesh ปีที่แล้ว +1

    אלי אתה עושה עבודת קודש

  • @user-ii9bd5cu1e
    @user-ii9bd5cu1e 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Hello sir, I heard you did a questionnaire to determine if someone was suffering daydream. Is it always available, if yes or then I found it . Thank you have a nice day

    • @SomerClinic
      @SomerClinic  8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      The MDS-16 measures MD symptoms, but diagnosis can only be based on a structured clinical interview.

  • @jupiterb1868
    @jupiterb1868 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Is there any way one can get into contact with the British girl from this clip? Thanks

    • @SomerClinic
      @SomerClinic  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Write the director renckensthomas@gmail.com

  • @siyandanjunga6844
    @siyandanjunga6844 ปีที่แล้ว

    You not alone girls

  • @tirstietinaco7925
    @tirstietinaco7925 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    28:41

  • @palemoonlight9109
    @palemoonlight9109 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    quit music people. quit music...

  • @dovleraz6381
    @dovleraz6381 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    those dreams and fantasies are from demonic Spirits, Jesus can help . Read Luke 4-1:14

  • @adhil8748
    @adhil8748 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Dr can please give me your email id 🙂

  • @PalKUNAL-qb3dv
    @PalKUNAL-qb3dv 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    It is started with me when I listen mp3 songs and watch movies and imagine myself hero of song and movie and my family abused me since 10 I m now 37 and 27 years ruined of my life but believe me we are not late mindfulness is key to overcome this fucking shit believe me it is not beneficial not even 1 minute I will not spend my time to daydream rather I will work in real world if I get paid only 2 dollars a day