This is so close to my husband’s story. I finally got to the end of my tether with how low our family’s quality of life was owning two businesses for 30+ years. He traveled and was hardly home to where he felt like a visitor. A while back it all poured out of me that he couldn’t say that he was doing this for our family because we didn’t want this. It hit him hard and he’s been making great strides to wind down his traveling business and focus on the local one. I make enough for us to survive and we have no debt, which puts us in a very fortunate situation that what he’s doing isn’t necessary. I told him that the only thing I could think of to put on his tombstone was “He Worked Hard” and none of us deserve that. I appreciate where his heart was, but we want HIM, not his money.
It's really tough to overcome the fear that a childhood of poverty will instill in you. I paid my way through college, am a published author, and a sought after consultant in my industry. I am a caretaker for a disabled relative and now "feel" more pressure to work MORE. She tells me I need a vacation. I believe her. Am taking baby steps by taking 1 day off a week for family time and to just relax. Hopefully your spouse can learn to trust when "enough" is enough.
@@smustipher Growing up in extreme poverty is definitely his catalyst. I truly do understand what that has done to him and am so proud that he found the will and way to break the chain. We live modestly and below our means. I wish he could feel comfortable and step back to enjoy his accomplishments at 53 years of age. He doesn’t strive to be rich, I just think he has never been able to untether himself from the poverty mindset. He’s starting to see how that affects our family and has been doing much better. It’s so nice to have more of each other and he’s glad to have more of himself back. 🙂
The main thing to remember is it's not how much money you make its how much money you keep if you live below your means you'll be pretty much better off at every aspect of life
The word that you are looking for is not enough. The word is balance, work/wealth life balance. US culture is more heavily skewed towards identifying as your job/car/house and wealth compared to other cultures. Like a yin/yang thing the yang is very dominant in America.
Yep, the result of the corporatisation of every aspect of American society. People are incentivised to strive to be zombified consumers and neglect their spiritual needs
Note: I wouldn’t be here to make all my “corrective” comments if I didn’t love your show to pieces. I listen to every episode. I’ve learned so much that I apply to my life and relationships. Thank you X 100. 😘 Love you.
Devan! Wow. Those "Thank you's" were so heartfelt! I can feel how the compliments touched your soul. I think John's right, you can get any job you want. First responder, some kind of service work, seems to suit you - that's the vibe I got - I bet you give good hugs! Congratulations on your successes and good luck in your future.
I say this fondly, Dr. John…slOw it down. I know you get a little sped up. I feel ya. It’s just caller #1 had stuff to say. Maybe you intuited his thoughts and guessed his situation correctly, but still, don’t steam roll your callers. Dude was cool-kinda wanted to hear from him a little.
So thankful that we won't fight over AC funds OR who will call. My Husband has 4 HVAC friends, so he makes the call and transfers funds from the savings to the checking account. Baby step 7 has major rewards.
I am going to 100% disagree this time Dr. John. Because animals are sentient beings we do not own them just because legally that’s how they wound up being classified by someone in the 1700s doesn’t make it true. I do not own my dog care, take my dog. I love my dog she deserves The best that I can do for her, and if I can no longer provide that kind of care, I need to find someone who does have the ability. She is family. Some of my own family have betrayed me have abused me have used me I’ve tried to classify me negatively to cover up their abuse. They are no longer family. I do not owe them care, nor do I need to make sure that they are cared for my dog Is my family. She also is my pet but mainly she’s my family if I had to choose between her and one of those people who were mean in my family, I would pick her every time.
That clip where they're talking about being a pet mother or a dog mum as they put it needs to be clipped and shared everywhere. I can't stand when people say these are my fur baby's
I had friends who grew up in mansions who are far more humble than my friends who grew up with nothing. Teach gratitude, display humility, and exemplify generosity, and your kids will understand no matter their living situation. Poor parents who teach entitlement raise entitled kids; rich parents who teach entitlement raise entitled kids. You don't have to financially neglect your kids when you have the means for them to grow up well. Just fucking parent.
@@bufficliff8978 I’m pretty sure you and your rich friends haven’t gone one day without food. I’m not creating an entitled child I’m giving them a dose of reality and their own cash. This experience creates good work ethic. My friends who had to get summer jobs have far better jobs and work ethic than me and these wimpy spoiled kids
I agree and basically did that. My kid was in school on the edge of luxury houses/upper middle class/apartment people. She came home some days with this rich kids attitude and even snarled at me “Why AREN’T you making that KIND of money?! What’s wrong with you?!” That’s it, said I to myself. And moved us far away, homeschooled her for one year, and opened a business at which she helped work. Worked hard and we did ok. This time she had a front row seat to see how money was made honestly. DID NOT GET THAT ATTITUDE anymore!
@@bufficliff8978 that’s neat, however I’d still show my child real life poverty. It’s a very eye opening experience. The best part is it shows the value of hard work and how to get out of poverty
This is so close to my husband’s story. I finally got to the end of my tether with how low our family’s quality of life was owning two businesses for 30+ years. He traveled and was hardly home to where he felt like a visitor. A while back it all poured out of me that he couldn’t say that he was doing this for our family because we didn’t want this. It hit him hard and he’s been making great strides to wind down his traveling business and focus on the local one. I make enough for us to survive and we have no debt, which puts us in a very fortunate situation that what he’s doing isn’t necessary. I told him that the only thing I could think of to put on his tombstone was “He Worked Hard” and none of us deserve that. I appreciate where his heart was, but we want HIM, not his money.
It's really tough to overcome the fear that a childhood of poverty will instill in you. I paid my way through college, am a published author, and a sought after consultant in my industry. I am a caretaker for a disabled relative and now "feel" more pressure to work MORE. She tells me I need a vacation. I believe her. Am taking baby steps by taking 1 day off a week for family time and to just relax. Hopefully your spouse can learn to trust when "enough" is enough.
@@smustipher Growing up in extreme poverty is definitely his catalyst. I truly do understand what that has done to him and am so proud that he found the will and way to break the chain. We live modestly and below our means. I wish he could feel comfortable and step back to enjoy his accomplishments at 53 years of age. He doesn’t strive to be rich, I just think he has never been able to untether himself from the poverty mindset. He’s starting to see how that affects our family and has been doing much better. It’s so nice to have more of each other and he’s glad to have more of himself back. 🙂
I had similar situation but resulted in him being self loathing and takin it out on our family. It ended up in divorce.. 19 years deap
I wish we had updates on most of the calls.
The main thing to remember is it's not how much money you make its how much money you keep if you live below your means you'll be pretty much better off at every aspect of life
The word that you are looking for is not enough. The word is balance, work/wealth life balance. US culture is more heavily skewed towards identifying as your job/car/house and wealth compared to other cultures. Like a yin/yang thing the yang is very dominant in America.
Yep, the result of the corporatisation of every aspect of American society. People are incentivised to strive to be zombified consumers and neglect their spiritual needs
He explained in the first call why he doesn't think balance is accurate. People DO need to understand "enough"
Note: I wouldn’t be here to make all my “corrective” comments if I didn’t love your show to pieces. I listen to every episode. I’ve learned so much that I apply to my life and relationships. Thank you X 100. 😘 Love you.
Devan! Wow. Those "Thank you's" were so heartfelt! I can feel how the compliments touched your soul. I think John's right, you can get any job you want. First responder, some kind of service work, seems to suit you - that's the vibe I got - I bet you give good hugs! Congratulations on your successes and good luck in your future.
I say this fondly, Dr. John…slOw it down. I know you get a little sped up. I feel ya. It’s just caller #1 had stuff to say. Maybe you intuited his thoughts and guessed his situation correctly, but still, don’t steam roll your callers. Dude was cool-kinda wanted to hear from him a little.
Delony got some new ink
This is the best show I've seen you dl. Thank you.
Let go and let God.
Let God what?
Another great show Dr Delony! Thank you
So thankful that we won't fight over AC funds OR who will call. My Husband has 4 HVAC friends, so he makes the call and transfers funds from the savings to the checking account. Baby step 7 has major rewards.
I am going to 100% disagree this time Dr. John. Because animals are sentient beings we do not own them just because legally that’s how they wound up being classified by someone in the 1700s doesn’t make it true. I do not own my dog care, take my dog. I love my dog she deserves
The best that I can do for her, and if I can no longer provide that kind of care, I need to find someone who does have the ability. She is family. Some of my own family have betrayed me have abused me have used me I’ve tried to classify me negatively to cover up their abuse. They are no longer family. I do not owe them care, nor do I need to make sure that they are cared for my dog Is my family. She also is my pet but mainly she’s my family if I had to choose between her and one of those people who were mean in my family, I would pick her every time.
Brevity is something that needs to be taught in schools. Yikes that first call.
Yay another show!!
I didn’t know bankruptcies affected families so much. I know so many families who declared bankruptcy the last few years.
Man does this hit home for me
Last dude: poor guy, barely got a word in!
I only knew that song from Shrek! But now I’ve looked it up and I love it!
That clip where they're talking about being a pet mother or a dog mum as they put it needs to be clipped and shared everywhere. I can't stand when people say these are my fur baby's
Oh too bad so sad. Poor baby poor baby.
I’d let my children experience poverty for a year. It’s an experience that humbles people to the core
That’s not humility it’s abuse
I had friends who grew up in mansions who are far more humble than my friends who grew up with nothing. Teach gratitude, display humility, and exemplify generosity, and your kids will understand no matter their living situation.
Poor parents who teach entitlement raise entitled kids; rich parents who teach entitlement raise entitled kids.
You don't have to financially neglect your kids when you have the means for them to grow up well. Just fucking parent.
@@bufficliff8978 I’m pretty sure you and your rich friends haven’t gone one day without food. I’m not creating an entitled child I’m giving them a dose of reality and their own cash. This experience creates good work ethic. My friends who had to get summer jobs have far better jobs and work ethic than me and these wimpy spoiled kids
I agree and basically did that. My kid was in school on the edge of luxury houses/upper middle class/apartment people. She came home some days with this rich kids attitude and even snarled at me “Why AREN’T you making that KIND of money?! What’s wrong with you?!” That’s it, said I to myself. And moved us far away, homeschooled her for one year, and opened a business at which she helped work. Worked hard and we did ok. This time she had a front row seat to see how money was made honestly. DID NOT GET THAT ATTITUDE anymore!
@@bufficliff8978 that’s neat, however I’d still show my child real life poverty. It’s a very eye opening experience. The best part is it shows the value of hard work and how to get out of poverty
Is that all he eats is chips and queso.
Ohxar
Lost him at "you are not a pet parent". There is no place for judgement when you are trying to help people!
Can the caller finish talking before you come in and paint a picture and conclude, you do this too often.