How to cure perfectionism
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 23 มิ.ย. 2021
- Danny Gregory discusses the struggles of the perfectionist - and how to beat them.
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I need this in mp3 format to use it as my alarm ringtone.
Agree!
Ytmp3
You could always listen to my podcast, Art for all.
I was just that, for a while, I will listen to this every. day until it finally breaks down my need for perfection. Thank you, my friend!
If you look under the video you will see beside the word SAVE three dots in a row. If you click on it you will see the words Open Transcript and if you click on these words it will open up a box which will have the transcript in it which you can copy and paste into a word doc to save. You will probably find that it has times before each sentence but if you look at the top of the box where you will see Transcript you will see on the right hand side of the transcript box another three dots. Click on them. It will say toggle timestamps. Click on these words and the time stamps will go away. Copy and paste into a word doc or something similar and you any have the words to read whenever you wish to.
I was informed that perfectionism is the highest form of self-abuse.
No joke it rlly is😔
So true
nicely said!
I never thought about it that way. I struggle very much. I might be good enough for some but never for myself. Never for myself….. 😢
@@sherrydmyterko-tramp8654 I sure can get my ahead around a struggle like that. That’s where I’ve learned to practice a specific pair of affirmations. Then, for me, most of the rest of the physical areas of life is about practicing imperfection.
“Don’t think about making art, just get it done. Let everyone else decide if it’s good or bad, whether they love it or hate it. While they are deciding, make even more art.”
-Andy Warhol
Love this! It’s brilliant!
"New bio reveals Warhol a workaholic" (newsflash I read somewhere)
Perfectionism is a curse that robs us of joy.
I have so many art supplies that I’ve collected and never used because I’m afraid of not doing a good enough job with them. I just decided I am going to get out something new every day and play with it and who cares if it looks good or not. I will just enjoy the process. Today I played with my art crayons. I felt like a kid! Made a mess of it. Oh well!
I finally joined SBS because I am now 60 years old. And I chose to look myself in the eye, and decided that I can spend the next twenty years like the last twenty, feeling bad about myself that I can’t draw as well as I want to- or I can jolly well buckle down and *learn*. Here I am.
This is a brilliant and huge insight. Looking at art supplies, or the tools of anything as children look at their toys -- just getting them out to play with them... this is the revolutionary approach I needed. And you stated it in a way that got into my head! Thanks for commenting!
@@RKHageman
I’m 67 and NEVER too old to learn!
@@RKHageman
Or have a bit of fun!
@@ladyinblack3398
Felt SO good. I am playing with acrylic paint today. I think I will paint a triptych of 4x4 canvases with flowers. Hope they look good. If not they can be covered over. 😏
I struggle with perfectionism, I was judged so harshly when I was young. I really need to calm down and relax. Thanks for the pep talk.
Pobody’s nerfect :)
but you’re lovely!
You are beautiful just as you are, Kirsten 🌸
@@Sharsung Thank you. 💕
Ditto
Sorry for whatever happened to you my dear HOWEVER you deserve to feel PEACE and a fulfilling life- SO ENJOY LET GO my dear dear.
one thing I started doing was taking just a black pen with me when i did live sketching. No pencil and rubber.Which means I have to deal with my mistakes and just embrace them. It's been such a great experience.
I do the same. It’s liberating. I’ve used a simple blue, paper mate pen.
Same here; I would spend hours on 'rubbish' pencil sketches and trying to improve those, so eventually I grabbed a black biro and threw my erasers in the bin. Best decision, if I don't like it I have to move on, can't go back because the page could only hold so much ink. Stopped the rumination
Yes, same!
Done is better than perfect.
That would be great on a T- shirt!
Hit the nail on the head. Perfectionism is linked to narcissism. It is fueled by the fear of shame and invalidation, and therefore a need to "control" everything, to stay still while missing out on everything.
"This is no time for perfection, this is the time for action".
"Because perfection is all about a need for control".
Thanks Danny for your wise and meaningful words ❤
Van Gogh struggled with perfectionism his whole life. Van Gogh. Let that one sink in. Great talk, Danny!
Yikes! This is about so much more than art. I just realized that much of my perfectionism is about being judged! I think you have given me the answer to set me free! I mean that with all sincerity. Now, that my head understands that, I need to let it go! Wow! I’m 64 years old and I never put the 2 together. Amazing, that you can have such an epiphany at my age.
It's never too late!
cherish the moment, no matter what age
You have helped me come out of my shell so much.
Loved art all my life but didn’t really do much. Had the materials, had some know how, but was too worried about being judged.
I’m starting to enjoy it now, and it doesn’t matter if it’s not perfect.
I’m happy. And doing what I love.
Thank you
Same for me. What I'm learning is to do it for the joy of doing it. In joy, there is no fear or judgement.
and the most harsh judge is you :) I feel the same, slowly starting to cope with it and just have fun.
Me too.
"We'll be perfect, when the world is perfect"
So simple but so well put; this is going to stay with me.
I’m 75. I’ve been drawing my whole life. Now I’m learning to draw like Danny Gregory. I am starting to get it. Thanks Danny!
Wow Danny! You really describe me totally! I am a perfectionist and I don't say this, feeling that I'm above the rest, as a badge of honour, on the contrary, I say it acknowledging the 'curse' as I call it. My mother said to me, a few years back now but it stuck with me: "You are good at everything but you don't do anything". It hurt me deeply at the time - still does - and it hurt because it was true. That 'perfectionism' that I hide behind, masks my fears, my insecurities, my self-loathing. So it is easier to try to do something 'perfectly' because it gives me the excuse not to do, not to confront my fears, to stay passive, to take ages to complete a project. Perfectionism is a curse, not a badge of honour.
Well your mom just HIT ME as well
Your mom cares about you. Those types of people who say those types of things want the best for you. My mom says similar things to me as a perfectionist with symptoms of OCD. Those comments are wake up calls for people like us.
So true! My inner critic prevents me from creating art on a daily basis. Due to some childhood trauma, my fear of failure and need to be perfect holds me back from so many things.
i think you cracked some part of my rock solid brain when you said we'll be perfect when the world is perfect
WOW!!! That was so on point. “Perfectionism, seize it by the throat and choke it out of your life” what a statement!!! Thank you Danny so much for these golden gems. They truly touch so many of our hearts. 😊🙋🏻♀️
"There's a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in." Quote, Leonard Cohen.
Interpretation: the light is the oxygen, the learning, the wisdom, the joy, the getting-in-to-the-flow, and most importantly the forget-about-your-inferiour-complex-and-just-be.
Thanks so much Danny for this pep talk. I really needed that. ❤🙏🙂🌞👍
Mister Gregory...if you continue to make videos like this, you may just make an effective artist out of me! ^_^ All kidding aside, I continue to be so very appreciative of your transparency and ability to speak plainly to the situation. I never considered myself a perfectionist...but the longer I listened the more I realized that you were describing the very issue that has held me paralyzed for so very long. I used to love drawing when I would draw simply for the purpose of drawing. But once I discovered TH-cam and began comparing myself to what everyone else can do, I dove deep into a well of 'never being good enough' and always having to learn more, do better, be better, know how to draw everything..."Comparison is the thief of joy."-Theodore Roosevelt said. He was more right than he knew. I've wasted a good 10 years of my drawing life. Thank you Danny. I only wish I had discovered you 10 years ago and saved myself the heartbreak. Now I draw for the joy, for the experience, for the discovery, because sometimes it's easier to illustrate than to describe. Thanks for helping me Danny. God Bless You.
Same situation. Comparison to others on youtube. Instead of learning from them I chose to give up
@@vivekupadhyay5309 Do not give up. The world succeeds in destroying hopes and dreams every day. You have a unique gift that only YOU can give to your family, and yourself. And the world will be a better place for having your creativity in it!
As someone who struggles with perfectionism, I have never, ever, ever considered perfectionism a good thing nor a compliment. Perfectionism make me miserable, unproductive, fewrful, etc. It holds me back from being productive at work, my art, chores, etc. I need to overcome this, if I want to be successful with my life.
Thanks for sharing!
Relatable
I am cautious first born and have always wanted to do the “right” thing. I think after thinking it through I don’t want to make a mistake. These words spoke to me on a deep level. To hear someone talk it all out and almost give permission to just BE who you are at this moment speaks freedom to me! Thank you for your timely words and encouragement to JUST DO IT ALREADY!! Your time is NOW. GET CREATING!! Thank you 😊
"That's BS" Well, you got my attention! This is a great pep talk and you make excellent points. I have saved this video to watch when I feel stuck/picking at my art.
Glad it was helpful and thanks for watching!
I just came across this video and I SO needed to hear this! I used to love to sketch but let my perfectionism stop me from creating. Even when others praised my art I would be very hard on myself. Thank you for these encouraging words.
You got this!
Ring the bell that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There's a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in
Leonard Cohen
Love this! And as I only discovered Leonard a few years ago, I love him too.
Caro - Thank you for posting this! I had heard the last two lines but didn’t know where they came from. This is definitely going in my art journal as a reminder!
Great advice. I love the idea of telling myself I will be perfect when the world is perfect. And we can't wait for the perfect treatment. Thank you.
'The monkey in your head' that makes me lough. 😂 I believe the perfectionism is a result / outcome of constant exaggerated judgments of some parents. 🤷♀️
Hi, Daniela. Maybe it was... maybe it was for most of us. (It is a conditioning of the Colective). (Parents do the best they know). BUT if we are aware of the "perfectionism" in us, only us can deal with it and overcome it, transforming it, transforming ourselves for the better. And when we are in the place of parenting, we can do it differently with our childs, and help to transform the collective paradigm in that regard...
Yes it always repeats in my head my dad telling me “meh, I’ve seen better” to my child self proud of what I just made 🙄 and still now as an adult the silence of my mother in the rare times I try to show her any of my art 🤷🏻♀️ ... meanwhile my mother in law is my biggest encourager and has amazing taste lol
Hey! In the psychological concept of perfectionism, parents actually represent one of the 6 perfectionism dimensions. It's really worth looking up! :)
My mom always encouraged me in everything, art included. But she's an artist too, and I learned her behavior lol
Thank you for giving a name and a body and expression to this immobilizing fear of perfection
AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE THAT I must listen twice or three times because I don't understand all, but I can say that perfectionnism is a bad thing in process of creating because the judge on the mind does't allow the freshness of creating, and I really thig that the process the better for create is to be our best friend and make a good team with the hand te mind and the heart. Just have the pleasure and measure the chance to draw is a gift on this hearth. Sorry I'm french and beiing student on art school twenty years ago I think that the path is to get rid of luggage that limit the access to creativity, judgment, references, to be "in" or "has been". Thank you and take care. I appreciate your sharing always sincere and kind.
It help a lot of people, I'm sure.
Oh this is so important!! It's what kills my creativity when it comes to drawing, and I know plenty other people who feel the same way. For me the hardest thing is the disappointment and even embarrassment when I don't manage to transfer EXACTLY what I see in my head onto paper. Thanks for making this video, it reminded me that my drawing is for me and not some invisible audience in my head :)
This invisible audience thing IS ON POINT LOL that’s a good way to see things when the perfectionism hits us, I’ll keep it
What would be perfect is having Danny stand over me and make me draw. Now. Today. No excuses. Go. Do it.
Just what I needed today (I started a brand new sketchbook - eek!). Thank you, Danny.
It's as Joel Salatin says about how perfectionism can ruin efficiency: good enough is perfect.
This video saved my degree!! I was on the brink of failure because of perfectionism. Thanks so much Danny!
It even gets to the point where I'm angry that my painting isn't working out like I want it too. Painting rage. WTH is that? Takes every bit of joy out of art for me.
Lately I'm trying to master the art of not being a jerk to myself (in part since it actually causes me to be more of a jerk to others as well), but it doesn't help much when you hang around people who put you down and try to wreck your self-esteem all the time anyway.
that's why i've never got serious about drawing in high school
I just bought a small sketchbook, brought it with me on my bike, and sat down in the park to sketch. It was liberating. I ignored the habit of thought called "perfectionism" with all of its fear and judgment, turning instead to the thoughts of joy. I seek to make that my habit of thought now. Your channel played a part in this monumental shift. Thank you so much.
Yay!
You have put into words exactly how I feel all of the time. It almost brought tears to my eyes. My dad is an artist and an extreme perfectionist and i struggle to do my art because of him. You are so honest and speak about the struggles I have been having for years that I didn’t think anyone would understand. Thank you so much. I am determined to taken on board what you are saying and change my thought process and my life. :)
The timing of me listening to this is perfect. I was skeptical, but did a vocal recording of a song I wrote years ago and shared it with a small group of musical friends. My vocal health hasn't been the greatest and my guitar playing is subpar to most of them, but I've wanted to share the song for a long time and was pleasantly surprised when I did it. Flaws and all. Your video is encouraging and confirmation that we don't have to be perfect and will miss out on opportunities if that's all we look for. Thank you.
Sir, besides Scott Robertson's 'How to draw' and 'How to render', your videos have been the biggest help I could get in my re-discovery of art, and just the confirmation I needed to keep making my ugly doodles until they stop being ugly, or even doodles.
“The only other way is to just keep going…”
Thank you. Incredible video and content. You are a healer.
When he said "It's better to not move at all than to risk falling on ur face" It hit hard bc I can relate to this so much n I rlly want to be able to overcome it😢
Very true of perfectionism. It also robs you of empathy. And empathy is a key trait of emotionally intelligent people and it's proven they are the most successful and happy people. Perfectionism stagnates you life and prevents you from moving forward and destroys creativity. Ouch. It just hurts you.
Blimey I almost didn’t write anything on in the comments because I was criticising what I was going to say! Perfectionism was not allowing me to criticise my perfectionism - that’s it I’m going to smash it thanks to this video! Thanks to all the comments that are on here they’ve also helped me - I am I’ve been not doing my art for 35 years - Loved art as a kid had natural talent - anyway what I’ve written isn’t perfect and doesn’t describe it all but what the heck I’ll press send - hopefully a drawing / painting will come out of this process tomorrow !!!!
I'm almost 30 and perfectionism has infected all aspects of my life, except for my relationships, thank God. It is keeping me stuck and I think it maybe the source of my depression.
Danny, I feel like I was listening to you talk to me through a video call than watching a TH-cam video. The points and anecdotes that you have touched upon about perfectionism has answered the questions and frustrations that I have had towards my perfectionism. I believe that I might have to watch this video from time-to-time to remind myself that it is okay to keep trying, failing, and eventually becoming grateful towards what I have made with my art and the growth from pushing through and being kind to myself. Thank you for your channel where you share your art, wisdom, and vulnerability.
Perfect. I take this phrase about that "I'll be perfect when the world will be perfect" as a weapon. And nobody will make me be perfect ever. )) Thank you. ❤
Damn, man... you're precisely what the whole world needs. Keep it coming so we can thrive. Thank you.
Wow I didn't realize how much I needed to hear this, I'm so afraid of being judged in a bad way that I literally stop por sabotage myself.
Great videos Danny. It reminds me of when I played a lot of golf and a comment was "It doesn't matter how good you get at this game, you ALWAYS want to be better. And as soon as you convince yourself that it's only a game...you sink a 30 ft putt". ."Giving in" and surrendering is the best success you can have. Cheers
this is such a beautiful, necessary and eloquent message.
This is genuinely inspirational while at the same time it's extremely helpful from a practical perspective. Thanks for making this video!
this is so true. In my case, I think I sought approval all my life, first from my parents, and then from people to feel loved or that I was worth something. Finally, perfectionism ends up making you not enjoy doing what you do. it literally clips your wings, preventing you from creating new things by experimenting without fear of making a mess. I only learned this when I was 50 years old. but better late than never. I love your videos Danny!!!! And your wisdom❤
Where have you been all my life. God bless you. What you have just said has helped me so very much. Its as if someone has lifted a an enormous weight off my back. I don't need to be perfect or the best. Nor do what others think is right. I'm just perfect as I am. All my quirky ways are what I am. Thank you so very much.
Thank you so much for sharing this message and being vulnerable with us
Even the birds echoed your sentiment!!! I needed to hear this.... Bless you! Keep the great videos coming! Eternally grateful. 🙏🏽
Thank you for this speech. Probably the most true I ever heard on the subject.
You punched me straight into my very heart. It hurts but nothing hurts more than truth. Thank you!
This found me at a great moment in my life's story. Thank you for posting this. Thank you for speaking so candidly. I appreciate you.
The best video I've seen recently. Thank you 🙏
Perfectionism is such suffering, and yes, I was always sure that I did better than others whilst today I realise I haven't done much. What you say is so true and I recognise myself so well in it, it is almost embarrassing. Thank you for pointing it out to me! I just started again at the age of 61 with drawing lessons and this time I intend to go further than 20 years ago. I have my sketchbook and intend to fill it up. I want to enjoy it this time and stop thinking that I can only enjoy it by being perfect and become a real artist. It is no longer important. Thanks again.
Hope you will! 😊
Very kind words in the view of an uncertain today. Really appreciate it
Wow, this really hit home. This is therapy. Thank you.
Whenever I need encouragement to keep practicing, to not allow self doubt to stop me from making art- I go into TH-cam and listen to one of your videos. Thank- You so much !
Great video Danny! You help so many of us. Which is so great because whether we like it or not we really are just one big family. ❤
Wow! I think I need to watch this every morning - so profound!
You make a lot of sense Danny. At the risk of sounding defeatist, avolition can really throw a spanner in the works when coupled with perfectionism, but you've made me feel like forcing myself to draw & paint, not because I don't want to, I love it, though I'm not all that good, but because the satisfaction of actually completing something will be amazing. Thanks once again
You are a wise and insightful person. Thank you for this!
Wow! I needed to hear this - someone else understands! - I'm getting teary eyed.
This advice can be applied to all areas of life, not just art. Thanks Danny, you put a lot of things into perspective.
Thank you!
This made me cry...in a good way. Thank you.
Thank you for your vulnerability and wonderful service to many.I am someone who can't draw. Your video on that is setting me free to get out of my head and draw no matter what. So appreciate you!
Luv this man. Protect him at all costs
This was an inspiring and accurate video. I have always tried to write and draw perfect and that just sucks out the enjoyment out of doing those things. I really needed this, thankyou!
Thank you so much for this ❤️ what an awesome video, love it!!!
Honestly, I woudn't be able to even imagine filming a video on a phone using the Airpods microphone. But it didn't cut out any value from it! It fact, it is perfect if consider how much time and resources were spent on it (basically 0), and how much of a value it is. My partial cure for perfectionism is accounting all the factors, including my current level of skill. Not just the isolated result. So, for example, if I were to film a video and didn't know how to do it, the result would be perfect for the current conditions.
THANK YOU!!!! It was exactly what I needed to hear in all areas of my life .
So glad!
THANK YOU for making this video!! I needed this!
So glad you enjoyed!
Danny, I have actually been drawing and...ENJOYING it. For me, this is revolutionary. Thank you!
Yay!
Wow… I soooo needed this swift kick… and I am gonna replay every day until I learn to live it !… 😊 thank you
As a perfectionist myself i do agree with you on this soooo hard. I have OCD and know my perfectionism comes out from a place of fear but at the same time it's just bullshit to not do stuff, to not be judged or laughed at. And that's so messed up! For instance, english is not my first language but i love it to death. The thing is i refuse to speak english cause i know I'm gonna make mistakes. And i know making mistakes is the only way to learn but it's so hard to overcome that ridiculous fear... And the same happens to many other areas of my life. I just don't do things out of fear or the so called "perfectionism". This video really got me thinking. I don't feel insulted at all, in fact i appreciate everything you said. It felt more like a parent or teacher giving me advice and I'm for sure going to try to get over my perfectionism. Much love x
How’s it going? I relate to this comment a lot.
@@Indra0T not so bad to be honest. I can't help the fact that i have OCD and sometimes it's a pain in the ass but i think the "anti-perfectionism journey" is going fine so far. The less fear, the more you try stuff and don't get frustrated if it's not what you expected. It's definitely woth trying, life gets easier in every way :)
@@silviariestra901 That’s good to hear , thanks for replying to me. Keep going, hopefully I can get to this point soon too.
@@Indra0T you will, im sure :)
This video is a treasure trove of wisdom, and is worth more than a mountain of gold!
Thank you so much for sharing your honesty.
Thanks for being so real!
You are brilliant at the things you do. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
I have many art supplies I've never used b/c I felt insecure about my ignorance of artistic styles. I've used my cheap paints but not my expensive paints because of my insecurity. I've been thinking of starting a daily art practice. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. I will love myself more and try to let go and relax. May you be blessed with peace of mind and have a wonderful weekend. 💖
Glad you plunge in! Please keep doing it? Xx
Thank you. So much for your video. I just discovered your channel. I watched several and feel much more hopeful! God bless you for sharing!
Don’t need a lot of details but between this video & one other I watched tonight…you may have sincerely changed my life. Thank you!
So glad!
This was the gentle roast I needed 😅 big thank you!
I need to hear this regularly.
I have shown some others my works that I’m so impressed with.
But I have a fear of being judged so now I’ll just do it for me.The enjoyment is amazing and have only found artwork since being in lockdown.Never ever thought this was me.
Thanks for this.
Thanks for watching!
Danny, you have appeared in my life at just the right time!
Your hitting me to my core. And now have me sitting here like yeah he is so right. I'm going to get back into art. TYVM. You my man inspired my inner flame.
Hope you will! Thanks for stopping by.
This is all so true. I'm a perfectionist, too, and it has gotten in my way too many times. A blank space, whether that's a sketchbook page, a journal, a garden, or an empty room, can be so intimidating. I've found that just putting SOMETHING there with my own hands is a start. Maybe (probably) not perfect and I get it wrong more often than right, but getting started is the hardest part for me. I think I fear that my result will not live up to my (and others') expectations and sometimes that keeps me from trying at all. Thanks for this.
Hi Danny! You totally nailed the perfectionism issue on the head - that it's all about control!! It's not always about what others think, it can totally just be my own weird standards of perfection that's been influenced by external things over the years. Your connection between digital art as reinforcing a hurtful relationship with perfectionism is very interesting. I lack the funds, skills, and time to learn digital art, and want to learn someday. But I sure relate to the may times I botched a painting that I worked SO HARD to sketch out, and cursed the heavens that I didn't have the means to digitize my sketches so I could start over! lol So I just had to live with the results and make peace with it. When I think about it, as you say in the video, that's a pretty deep realization about life in general.
So refreshing! So authentic! So real! Thank you, my friend!
Thank you!
I so needed to watch this right now. Thank you!
So well said Danny I think we can all relate to this it's so inspiring. Thank you!
Thank you for your insight and encouragement. Always so helpful and inspiring!! God bless you! I too have a ton of unused supplies because I let that perfectionism get in the way, but no more, used they will be and each stroke, however good or bad, will be a learning opportunity.
Thank you, Danny, for inspiring me to begin again and to challenge my perfectionist creative paralysis.