SIX BOUNDARIES A WOMAN MUST ENFORCE WHEN DATING by RC Blakes

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 ต.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 780

  • @elizabethhendally
    @elizabethhendally 2 ปีที่แล้ว +846

    Ladies, I know some of these points sound hard. However, as someone who has been in an abusive marriage for over 10 years. Every one of these 6 points are 100% accurate! Everyone of these boundaries (complete with examples) where exhibited by my former spouse. Please please carefully consider what this gentleman is saying. It can save you years of heartbreak and emotional damage.

    • @virtuous_committed
      @virtuous_committed 2 ปีที่แล้ว +49

      Bishop, as always, the Holy Spirit is speaking through you. I met a guy and we met for a late dinner because he got off at 8 pm, at the police department. The whole time I was sitting in front of him, I just picked up a bad energy from him. How God put the icing on the cake, was when he came out his mouth greasy & that comment took me back to the abusive marriage that I had came out of. I kindly got my purse and my keys and I walked to my car. I left him sitting there and I said to myself he will never see or hear from me again. And that was several months ago. I am not playing with these men.

    • @elizabethhendally
      @elizabethhendally 2 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      @@virtuous_committed Amen. Walk and keep walking. God is revealing the truth, but it is our decision to listen to what He is saying.

    • @janellamurphy4212
      @janellamurphy4212 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      In total agreement with you sis!!! I am happy that God removed you out of the abusive marriage!!!

    • @Gloria_All_Day
      @Gloria_All_Day 2 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      @Wise4Sure Sometimes when your dealing with a malignant narcissist things are not that black and white. For me I was in an abusive marriage for 21 years and four children. If you don't understand then people ask questions like you ask. I've heard unless you have been through it you can never understand. Like having a baby. And it's not logically explain either. I am a very strong person and yet very empathetic. And I grew up in a house with a narcissist parent. So unless you have these conditions you can never understand the mins control that took place.

    • @cassandrarussell5558
      @cassandrarussell5558 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      🖤🖤🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

  • @soposh5671
    @soposh5671 2 ปีที่แล้ว +632

    “People that love you learn you” Powerful

    • @sonjapetrovic2809
      @sonjapetrovic2809 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      🔥

    • @mistymidnight4447
      @mistymidnight4447 2 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      Predatory narcissists learn us too. Always keep your guard up 💕

    • @soposh5671
      @soposh5671 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@sonjapetrovic2809 Yessss 🙏🏽

    • @soposh5671
      @soposh5671 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@sonjapetrovic2809 Right!

    • @sonjapetrovic2809
      @sonjapetrovic2809 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@soposh5671 💯

  • @Ashley-fg2mu
    @Ashley-fg2mu 2 ปีที่แล้ว +455

    I found out today a man ive dated for 4m had an incurable std, a secret kid, and lied about it all.
    I'm extremely grateful ive been abstinent for 4 years . Im 29, but trying to stay hopeful. This message is timely.

    • @sohoye5494
      @sohoye5494 2 ปีที่แล้ว +47

      😓 thank God for sparing you! 🙌🏾

    • @CoachLove
      @CoachLove 2 ปีที่แล้ว +55

      Nowadays, pay for that background check.. While keeping your legs closed, Keep your better options open.👏🏾

    • @iegal2526
      @iegal2526 2 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      You seriously dodged a bullet sis!

    • @ivymontgomery5964
      @ivymontgomery5964 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Stay In Faith! Cling To God

    • @mofimTV
      @mofimTV 2 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      @@CoachLove yes although background could be clean if a first time offender... also take time to really know people and see them in various settings and situations to ascertain how they truly are...

  • @queenr.480
    @queenr.480 2 ปีที่แล้ว +104

    Briefly talked to a man in his mid 40s who always complained about his financial situation. I'm thinking in my head (I'm not paying his bills) 😄.
    Why would a man open up to you about his finances so quickly and always talking about his money problems??? I politely broke it off. I'm not a piggy bank and have my own bills ✌️

    • @janellamurphy4212
      @janellamurphy4212 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      RIGHT?????????

    • @HisaLight2mypath
      @HisaLight2mypath 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      He was hoping he could appeal to your soft side and that you would offer him money. They come up with different stories and scenarios through complaint. He's hoping you would feel sorry for him. And pay

    • @queenr.480
      @queenr.480 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@HisaLight2mypath totally makes sense! My heart does not tug towards grown men who have financial problems. Nah, I wasn't raised to pay a grown man's bills...

    • @HisaLight2mypath
      @HisaLight2mypath 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@queenr.480 The same thing happened to me not long ago.

    • @helenakpabio1861
      @helenakpabio1861 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yeaaaaa laughing 😂🤣🤣. You ain't piggy bank

  • @Ari-se6xu
    @Ari-se6xu 2 ปีที่แล้ว +440

    1. Your Children
    1a. Do not Expose random men to your children
    1b. Insist that no man impose self on your kids
    2. Money
    3.Your Personal Triggers
    3b. Makes you feel bad about yourself.
    3c. Goes for your Insecurities
    4. Your Family
    5. Intimacy boundary
    6. Privacy Boundaries

  • @STSHNZ
    @STSHNZ 2 ปีที่แล้ว +301

    This is what I needed in my 20's ! And early 30s. I was SO SO SILLY!!.
    I had very low self esteem, I had lack of boundaries, I was desperate for a man, I was drinking a lot.
    What a mess I was! And I hope my eldest girl forgives me for my mistakes. I know so much better now. This is a very good teaching RC blakes

    • @gwengladden9077
      @gwengladden9077 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Sister, you are not by yourself. I hope they do too. Thank you Lord Jesus.

    • @amerokeewiya1320
      @amerokeewiya1320 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Who are you telling! Omg I was older & very dumb. I should’ve known better, but once you learn self love, true self love you become a force to be reckoned with 👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽

    • @greaterishe7197
      @greaterishe7197 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      🌹

    • @ILoveMyMelanin.
      @ILoveMyMelanin. 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Same here, but we live and learn.

    • @frankmills1149
      @frankmills1149 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      We're,nt we all

  • @CoachLove
    @CoachLove 2 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    Don't lower your standards and don't give money to a dude. BW are known to want to help bm and stick by them no matterwhat. Stop. Explore better options.

  • @kdmylove
    @kdmylove 2 ปีที่แล้ว +108

    Any wise and queen conscious woman must enforce BOUNDARIES in the process of dating a man.
    When you live your life as a woman without boundaries, it is like living with the doors and windows open of your home. Dudes without good intentions, do not want to tolerate boundaries. And when a woman enforces those boundaries it weeds out the pretenders from the contenders and the fakes from the authentic.
    1. *Your Children* A HARD BOUNDARY
    a. Do not Expose random men to your children. You cannot allow a man to use
    them as pawns
    1b. Insist that no man impose himself on your kids. A predator will use your kids to impress you and once you let down your guard, they will take advantage of the kids. Sexually or physically or verbally.
    2. Money
    No wise woman should ever allow a grown man she is trying to get to know to ask her for
    money. Once the money boundary has been breached, there is very little hope of a healthy future. You got to get a man who is a provider.
    Don’t let him decide what
    you should be doing with your money. A bum asks a woman for her money. Don’t tolerate a man who is coming for your money. He’s giving you sex and you’re paying him. That’s all it is.
    3. Your Personal Triggers. (Trigger means doing or saying something that takes you back to you past and makes you relive something painful or hurtful)
    When a man goes for your Insecurities and makes you feel bad about yourself it is an intentional breech of an emotional boundary and not a mistake. He wants to render you emotionally enslaved or subjugated. When there’s intimacy - INTO ME YOU SEE, he will pay attention to you response and your energy. When he loves you, he will learn you.
    4. Your Family - He will insert himself into your family and friends uninvited so he can manage you through them and thru peer pressure. He can also paint a false positive about himself with them so when you find out who he really is, everyone will say the problem one is you. Make sure he’s is not popping up where he’s not wanted. That could be stalking!
    5. Intimacy boundary - This is a touchy, feely dude. No man should be touching you unless he is invited into that space. He doesn’t know what it could be triggering in you. Be careful of a man who is overly compliments you and your beauty. He may reach straight for your chest from there! If you let it go, next time you’re gonna be asking for trouble.
    6. Privacy Boundaries
    - No popping up at your work place or house uninvited. No touching your phone or scrolling through your data and pictures. A healthy individual has a measure of privacy and when a man cannot respect that he is going to enslave you.

    • @chambriayarbrough3289
      @chambriayarbrough3289 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Thank you for typing this out!

    • @nessparadis6948
      @nessparadis6948 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thank you! I took screen shots.

    • @janlowmeg5682
      @janlowmeg5682 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Grt conclusion here, well done. Only leaving a reply so I can save it fully;-)

    • @annagrace1159
      @annagrace1159 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      THIS!

    • @annagrace1159
      @annagrace1159 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      This list cancels every man on every level.🙏🏽

  • @traceyhinkle2445
    @traceyhinkle2445 2 ปีที่แล้ว +80

    I’m 54 years old today - March 19, 1968. I’ve had ALL of these boundaries since as far back as I can remember. He is straight telling the truth. Set these boundaries when you’re young and it will save you a lot of heartache (I’ve NEVER experienced excruciating heartbreak or heartache). I have experienced being loved from the top of my head to the sole of my feet. I have been loved in spite of all of my issues and shortcomings. And I have loved back in return. But God….

    • @annagrace1159
      @annagrace1159 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Yah Bless You for confirmation and testimony. I am blessed.

  • @haydencoffman2410
    @haydencoffman2410 2 ปีที่แล้ว +65

    Just as single mothers shouldn’t have random men coming in & out of the house, the fathers shouldn’t have random women in front of their children

    • @sterry8895
      @sterry8895 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I agree. It sets a bad example and these days it’s just isn’t safe.

  • @mb101367
    @mb101367 2 ปีที่แล้ว +181

    My wife set that boundary with her daughter..I respected her for that then and of course I respect her now for doing that. I never wanted to rush into anything with her and when the time was right we met. I appreciate my wife for being the strong woman that she is and I thank GOD for her.

    • @janellamurphy4212
      @janellamurphy4212 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      It is such a blessing to hear a man respond to RC Bakes teachings!!! May God bless you!!!

    • @joycerennard749
      @joycerennard749 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@janellamurphy4212 A real man who is strong is NOT afraid to call his wife strong.
      ** A WEAK man however, takes delight in calling his wife weak**. **Because he does NOT know how to appreciate a STRONG woman**.
      'A narcissist' belittle & destroy. 👎

    • @joycerennard749
      @joycerennard749 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      It takes a STRONG man to appreciate his STRONG wife. 👌

    • @ladyzinada5341
      @ladyzinada5341 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Amen

  • @caroleharrison8884
    @caroleharrison8884 2 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    My mom taught me to never loan a man money as it makes them weak!

  • @leeleeonthemove
    @leeleeonthemove 2 ปีที่แล้ว +57

    TRIGGERS!!! Yeap this is what I experienced in a past situationship!! No matter how many times I told the person I did not like something, they would stop for a moment then do it all over again! My anxiety was ALWAYS HIGH, I hated the feeling…due to the anxiety I lost so much weight…it was the Lord telling me, LEAVE HIM ALONE, but I hung around for a minute longer, got tired and threw up the ✌🏾✌🏾✌🏾 and when I did the anxiety immediately left! So I will never eva disregard my instincts again! I’m thankful to the Most High God that nothing physical ever happened with us! Praise the Lord!!

    • @Muser10863
      @Muser10863 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Are you me? Exact same circumstances for me. Praise Jesus and Pastor Blakes for helping me out of that shituationship!!! May God continue to bless the Pastor, his wife and his mission!

    • @leeleeonthemove
      @leeleeonthemove 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@LA-wv7gf it was the worst feeling and no matter how great I was I always doubted myself. I ALWAYS had an uneasy feeling when dealing with him, he would never answer questions or anything. Ugh, I’m just so glad I did not create a soul tie with him! However it still affected me and I’ve been trying to get that whole situation out of my mind sense.

    • @HisaLight2mypath
      @HisaLight2mypath 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      You're speaking the exact same situation that I go through suffering from separation anxiety and abandonment issues. these men would continue triggering me with little pauses and when I complain they stopped for a while and do it all over again in the process I stop eating, functioning and taking care of myself. I would drink, smoke self destruct

    • @leeleeonthemove
      @leeleeonthemove 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@HisaLight2mypath Yeap it’s time to flee when that happens! I would awake in the mornings with so much anxiety and it would continue during the day. I wasn’t eating and food repulsed me. Lost 25 lbs. my friends were so concerned! But I had to leave that situation for myself cause he WAS NOT going to change. I remember I was calling and texting for about three days…not excessively, but because I was concerned something happened. When he finally responded and told me he was okay, I was like NOPE 👎🏾 time to go, you’ve done enough. One thing I’m not gonna do is chase and you’re not going to mistreat me anymore. Like Pastor has said in other videos, LET THEM GO! The funny part was he didn’t even try to convince me to stay and I KNOW I’m worthy. That was removal strictly from GOD!

  • @JetSetAtl
    @JetSetAtl 2 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    This is why I gave up on dating. I’m 46 years old and I really don’t casually date. My husband passed away & mid 40s dating life is stressful. I was the one who set boundaries and my kids are grown. I don’t play about my money or my personal space & I don’t deal with bums. My money is not any man’s business if I don’t have his last name. With all that being said. I see the red flags 🚩.. I acknowledge my preferences and these men try to mold themselves into who they think you want them to be. Very manipulative. The Narcissist believes in his craziness and can get aggressive with rejection. Men are crazy & when they sense you are pulling away they go harder. I feel uncomfortable when they show up on my social media and doing random stuff.I’ve heard some great teachings from Bishop Blakes, but this one is a gem.💎

  • @hawaglam540
    @hawaglam540 2 ปีที่แล้ว +145

    I wish you were doing this when I was in my twenties and thirties. Now at 48 and watching you for the past 4 years has healed a whole lifetime of mistakes, heartache, and sadness. I'm such in a better place, know my worth, and it shows! I feel it exuding power, discernment, grace, and strength. Thank you Pastor Blakes!! My spiritual father!!

    • @mstanisha0102
      @mstanisha0102 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      It's ok girl I'm 44

    • @jenniferb327
      @jenniferb327 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      👍

    • @mmxw2294
      @mmxw2294 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Ain’t we blessed to be receiving his teaching 🙌🏾🥰

    • @hawaglam540
      @hawaglam540 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@mmxw2294 we are so blessed and I am so grateful!🙏❤

    • @Cat-sx6ep
      @Cat-sx6ep 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I am in my 40's as well and looking back they took advantage of me and not knowing how to guard my heart made me a target

  • @anitailieva200
    @anitailieva200 2 ปีที่แล้ว +274

    I am so looking forward to hear this. I am a young woman from Bulgaria and I am so happy to have found you. You have such a great impact on my life and also the life of my sister and close girlfriends. Thanks to you I step now into the world as a strong woman, full of self knowledge and wisdom. ❤️

    • @iegal2526
      @iegal2526 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      You go girl!! 👏 👏 👏

    • @alexandra2536
      @alexandra2536 2 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      I'm from Romania, and we appreciate Pastor Blakes too !🤗

    • @DayaTom
      @DayaTom 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      EХо :)

    • @soreane
      @soreane 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      8 o ou 8 o o o 7 7 97777 7 8 o 97777 7 8 o o 8 o oui o ô ou 8 o ou 8 o o o 7 7 97777 7 8 o 97777 7 8 o o 8 o ouiii Ô Ô Ô Ô 8 o Ô Ô 8 7ooooooooo78oo8oo788{8 ooo8oo87o7ooo7o7oooo7ooo7ooo7ooo7ooo{8o7o7o7o7o7o7o7o

    • @Medietos
      @Medietos 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I think Bulgaria still has better upbringing than in west Europe, where good, healthy, viable, safe norms, values and practices have been exchanged for so called sexual freedom, which is not really free at all.

  • @bridgettetraveler658
    @bridgettetraveler658 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Bishop u should have been around me 50yrs ago when I was a child! I was taught like many women I was worthless & no one would ever want me! I was shocked when someone showed me attention! I had no self-esteem! It took GOD many decades to let me know how precious I am to him! I try not to eat junk food, hear or see junk or mess! I had to learn my body is not a trash can for foolishness or foolish ppl! Thank u for all your help & wisdom u have imparted to this world! We've never met in person, but u are one of my favorite leaders! Thank u again so much! GOD BLESS U!!!

  • @joycerennard749
    @joycerennard749 2 ปีที่แล้ว +65

    A narcissistic man does some of those things to his wife after the wedding. Because you ignored the red flags and he also blames someone else for his shortcomings.
    Thank you sir for such insights that you share unselfishly. 👏

  • @masegomatsila3882
    @masegomatsila3882 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    12 years ago, a Dusty man who was trying to get to know me once told me that I was so guarded. I now understand what I was doing. ENFORCEMENT of my boundaries. I thank God for the gift of discernment.

  • @carolynwilliams4926
    @carolynwilliams4926 2 ปีที่แล้ว +51

    I waited for this testimony today. Yes woman we need to wake up and have discernment about the men we let in our lives. stop letting the thing between your legs lead you to become numb to the obvious signs he is not the one.

    • @HisaLight2mypath
      @HisaLight2mypath 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      You're absolutely right once we sleep with them or do any kind of sexual act we become blinded to the red flags. It's happening to me right now but I have to keep reminding myself who the person is. and he's a no good opportunistic user.

    • @staceylozano4044
      @staceylozano4044 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Soooooooo true 👍 🙌 👏

  • @jahlive1243
    @jahlive1243 2 ปีที่แล้ว +54

    I think I have too many boundaries…better safe than sorry. 🤷🏽‍♀️ It helps me sift and discern. As for men and my kids I won’t even allow them in my house or around them unless I KNOW he’s not temporary. I have 2 young ladies to raise and I know they’re watching me.

  • @msniki7103
    @msniki7103 2 ปีที่แล้ว +132

    I'm almost 50 years old and am so blessed to be a recipient of your teachings. Thank you dearly ♥️

    • @marhki
      @marhki 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Right! 🙏🏾

    • @HisaLight2mypath
      @HisaLight2mypath 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      You look amazing .

    • @msniki7103
      @msniki7103 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thank you, it's God's preserving grace that's been on my life.

  • @shontemartinez7826
    @shontemartinez7826 2 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    You going in on us. " You need a checkup from the neck up" I learned my lessons my boundaries were weak and I got played. Now I have non-negotiables and my boundaries are solid. Thank you for making me a better woman

  • @QIKWIA
    @QIKWIA 2 ปีที่แล้ว +75

    🗣ALL RISE!!!!
    🙏🏿The honorable BISHOP BLAKES presiding over the classroom in session!🅰️➕

  • @Ang_Nicole
    @Ang_Nicole 2 ปีที่แล้ว +126

    Thank you for being an amazing father figure to me. I have an amazing dad at home, but he just never taught me this stuff. I’m glad to be learning from other men such as yourself. 💙

  • @godislove3840
    @godislove3840 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    People that love you do learn you for the benefit of how best to relate to you but sometimes people "learn" you so they can use things against you and it has nothing to do with love its all for their benefit.

  • @MzBrOdUs18
    @MzBrOdUs18 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    The “popping that gum” takes me out Everytime 😂🤣🤦🏾‍♀️ I love me some RC Blake I swear it’s like a talk w dad.

    • @genxx2724
      @genxx2724 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Exactly.He’s trying to correct cheap dummies, of whom there are too many. Coarseness and ignorance should not be the norm.

  • @DoesItReallyMatter25
    @DoesItReallyMatter25 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    This is so spot on! My ex read my journals, searched my car, always went thru my phone, required I share my location with him 24/7, popped up at my job random times … and in the end he cheated with his best friends little sister, who is 20+ years his JUNIOR! He became so angry when I put it all together … I became a stupid fat bitch and every name in the book.
    Straight demon. Thank you for these teachings Bishop!

    • @Mspuddin67
      @Mspuddin67 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Horrible guy!

  • @Proverbs31Ministries222
    @Proverbs31Ministries222 2 ปีที่แล้ว +57

    Yes self love is key. A woman moves in silence which doesnt you need any man speaking into your soul. When you wait on God for a man. He will walk into your life. A whole man will marry a woman who's whole and God knows this. Also God will tell you who your spouse is. Women dont purse. Men purse. And woman approve or dont.

  • @ssafariyt66
    @ssafariyt66 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Reminder on!! Im about to get married!!! Watch!

    • @LC-cg7bs
      @LC-cg7bs 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Congrats

  • @nancyamaral5620
    @nancyamaral5620 2 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    You remind me of my father when I was a teenager and young adult and showed interest in a potential boyfriend the first thing my father would ask does he work. The unconditional love of a father is the best teacher of boundaries for a girl

    • @Cat-sx6ep
      @Cat-sx6ep 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      great my father and mother were upset with my choices however never said anything to keep them away from me so I was let down by many

  • @oshun2866
    @oshun2866 2 ปีที่แล้ว +41

    Lack of boundaries and tolerance of poor treatment equates to low self-value. Lots of us really need to do the self reflection to understand the root of poor decisions. Some of us have been mishandled, exposed and abused at a young age. To demand better we must feel better about ourselves.

  • @Blue_7777
    @Blue_7777 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    ''Boundaries sustain your individual clarity''.

  • @sarahduvall1479
    @sarahduvall1479 2 ปีที่แล้ว +41

    This is real talk!!
    The boundaries go for friends and family, also.

  • @arethawebster1817
    @arethawebster1817 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I have changed and I am changing more each day thank you God.

  • @brittanyb5942
    @brittanyb5942 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    He's not apologetic but he is sorry 😂😂 💯💯

  • @breakthrough1019
    @breakthrough1019 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Pastor … thank you … I just cut him
    Off with no words … I could not deal with the devaluing , passive aggressive , and triggering me . I feel good without him .. 🙏🏽

    • @HisaLight2mypath
      @HisaLight2mypath 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Me too it's so painful when they say hurtful things to try to trigger low self-esteem. And when we confront them they gaslight us and make us feel that we are the crazy ones over reacting

    • @tometriceshepherd6609
      @tometriceshepherd6609 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you pastor Blake's. I was educated. I'm a queen and I'm enforcing my boundaries.

  • @schlindaflynn8854
    @schlindaflynn8854 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Pastor RC Blakes you're the earthly father I never had please and thanks for being a vessel Im grateful

  • @Kaycee-mr5bb
    @Kaycee-mr5bb 2 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    I appreciate your teachings RC Blake. Since my late husband passed away I have not introduced anyone to my kids especially to my daughter. I will protect her at all cost. I am going to wait until that man has proven to be my husband or worth to be my husband. Otherwise, I am good being single 😁.

    • @STSHNZ
      @STSHNZ 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Keep pressing on! Dont be like how I used to be..i used to be too vulnerable and silly! So many mistakes were made. But I'm now on the correct path

    • @lynnemarylou7611
      @lynnemarylou7611 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@STSHNZ bless you sister you're doing well...
      🧡

  • @ladielox
    @ladielox 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I'm 54 years old. I remember one of my aunt's telling me in my 30's when she was giving her always wicked but, accurate advice about "some" men...."Watch your pocketbook!"😅🙌🏿😅🙌🏿😅🙌🏿😅🙌🏿😅🙌🏿😅🙌🏿😅🙌🏿😅

    • @HisaLight2mypath
      @HisaLight2mypath 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I'm 33 and still falling for the same games . Different name same games.

  • @lamaja19
    @lamaja19 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Thank you so much RC Blakes. I dated a man who had issues respecting my boundaries. Left him & found out he spread terrible rumors about me. So sad I realized this man had no integrity. Lives with his sister like Joe with Madea. I dodged a bullet with that one. Saving this as a reminder for my boundaries. Blessings to you & your wife.

  • @piggy3745
    @piggy3745 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I don’t play with my money boundary!! I’m so glad to hear a good man confirm this!!

  • @joycerennard749
    @joycerennard749 2 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    Some women experience 'financial abuse' from their husbands.
    When a man takes most of his wife's earnings by using 'scare tactics' and pressure.
    *He then use the money to establish himself, {without her}*
    The lies: may I borrow some money or lend me some money. *Those 'loans' are not repaid*
    This pattern leaves such women in 'financial straits'; with nothing to show for their toil & labor. 🤔

    • @Cat-sx6ep
      @Cat-sx6ep 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      i was not marry however it was exhausting and chasing after my money was not what I assume would happened certain men are just jerks and dont forget KArma comes just wont give so freely

    • @joycerennard749
      @joycerennard749 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@Cat-sx6ep It is sad but; true. 🤔
      Cruel & heartless are those who abuse their wives or anyone else.
      When one makes that behavior his career, he may ask for forgiveness; but he will still suffer the consequences of his sins, against other human beings.
      *By the sweat of thy brow thou shall eat 🍞 bread, (food)*.

    • @joycerennard749
      @joycerennard749 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@LA-wv7gf Really heartrending. 😭
      In some cases the men don't have incomes, they prey on their wives. Take full control of ALL financial gain, whether worked or gifted. These women are given ONLY enough for travel expenses; NO food money, they exist mostly on bread, jelly, peanut butter and water, (NOT speculation? FACTS). One or two hot meals each week. **The men splurge on themselves, family & friends** at their wives expenses.
      **The women suffer in silence** because they are cut off from the support of family & friends, (isolated), mail from family & friends are screened and discarded without their wives knowledge; [that's revealed after the relationships end].
      The men surround themselves with their family & friends.
      Some are cruel enough to taunt the women about not having family or friends.
      Some are fortunate to be discarded, others not so, they suffer fate.
      I pray 🙏 that more women are being helped today, because, these issues have garnered open discussions on numerous PLATFORMS.👩👮👧👷👸

    • @uschicamamaluv1
      @uschicamamaluv1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@LA-wv7gf That was horrible!

  • @fatsnackaasmr6873
    @fatsnackaasmr6873 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    “Grown Rusty negro” 😂 you never miss!! 🙌🏽❤️

  • @sharronmcdaniel4634
    @sharronmcdaniel4634 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Absolutely amazing. I thank God for saving me and freeing me from a toxic relationship of 5 years. All of these boundaries were breached while in my relationship, and I didn’t even realize it all until I look back now. I now know what my boundaries should be and continuing to discover who I truly am now that I know the damage that not having boundaries will do to you! I never learned any of this from my parents. Maybe because they haven’t had their boundaries either, but going forth I WILL stand firm in these. Especially since I am a mother and successful woman. No man will ever take advantage or manipulate me and my vision for myself ever again. Thank you so much!

  • @tahomalewis2300
    @tahomalewis2300 2 ปีที่แล้ว +83

    Thank you so much for this hard lesson. I see how much I was allowing even when I started to place boundaries. The boundaries have to be guarded 24/7/365

    • @janellamurphy4212
      @janellamurphy4212 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      25/8/366!!! I so much needed to hear this hard lesson!!!

  • @spiritualone1
    @spiritualone1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Listening. I did not have boundaries. I was wrong. Just was discarded by a narcissist and I just found out what a narcissist was recently. Rather than have full faith in God. I was distracted by the man and believed all the lies and deceit. It was a con from the get go. Prior to this I was not in a relationship for 4 years. I take full accountability. I’m trying to let go. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

    • @peacefaith560
      @peacefaith560 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      dont try..let go, the sooner you let go, the sooner your healing can began, it took me 10yrs before i could let go..God had to do it , i was conned as well, but God told me this man was a distraction,..he was never my friend ...

    • @devoted1ify
      @devoted1ify 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Your healing will begin when you let go. Don’t look back, but learn from your experience. I’ve been there. I’m still recovering from this nightmare. What hurts the most is that he pretended to be a man of God. After the break up God spoke to me not to let him back into life. I’m trusting God to heal my emotions as well as other women that have been conned and deceived.

    • @staceylozano4044
      @staceylozano4044 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I was with a no good lazy bum, but thank goodness God took me out of that nightmare of a relationship.

  • @Micha63857
    @Micha63857 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Triggers....he thinks it is funny to raise your blood pressure - RUN -

  • @thesoothingbreeze3165
    @thesoothingbreeze3165 2 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    1. your children
    2. your money
    3. your triggers/ comment: people that love u, learn u
    4. your family
    5. your body
    Thank You! Thank You!

  • @enlightenedone7083
    @enlightenedone7083 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    The ex narc absolutely tried to insert himself into the lives my family and friends without my permission. Calling them, texting them, etc. But I peeped his strategy early on & I knew that he was trying to manage their perception of him & to use my own family as his allies. Boy, bye👋🏽 .

  • @ildig7335
    @ildig7335 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    "You need a check up...from the neck up." Lol . I love your sense of humour.😀

  • @ConfidentlyD
    @ConfidentlyD 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I was just asked on a date and haddddd to come have this conversation with my father in Christ RC Blakes FIRST‼️‼️‼️ Thank you Jesus for your wisdom!

  • @sheskreations3404
    @sheskreations3404 2 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    I'm married already but much spiritual information to help other women and better myself. Thank you.

  • @JUSTNIZE
    @JUSTNIZE 2 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    I’m sooooooo ready for this conversation, I need it like my Word and Fruits 🍎 and 🥕 Veggies, you Feed me, nourish me and I even have my nieces picking up little tidbits about being a Princess and the attributes of Queenology 👑👑👑👑, start them young

    • @zolliegraves2271
      @zolliegraves2271 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      RcblakesisonpointthesemenaregoinginJUSTTOGETTHEKIDS!!!AREALMOTHERPROTECTSHERKIDS.

  • @kitaevans8686
    @kitaevans8686 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    This is what I needed back in my 30s but I'm so blessed at 48 to have you in my life and this teaching. Thank you Pastor Blakes 💙🙌

    • @iamaleo247
      @iamaleo247 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I feel the same! Wish I knew this in my late 20’s but at 50, Thank GOD, I know it now!✨🙌🏽✨

  • @jslseniorcare6478
    @jslseniorcare6478 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    At the point in my life where I definitely need to hear this. Keep me in your prayers please!

  • @sampsonlittle7368
    @sampsonlittle7368 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Like 16:10 those who are faithful in the least are faithfull in the most. Those who are unfaithful in the least are unfaithful in the most. A man asking for money while dating is unfaithful in the least. When he does it, you have your answer to the more important questions, faithfulness to you, faithful to your relationship. He will certainly be unfaithful in all his ways. Money being the least in the relationship. Putting money between you and him. He just showed you who he is completely.

    • @janellamurphy4212
      @janellamurphy4212 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      In total agreement!!!! I told a male friend of mine that no woman respects a man who asks her for money period!!!!

  • @glitterrose1810
    @glitterrose1810 2 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    Pastor RC Blakes I have been watching you for a long time. It’s amazing how you still give me gems I can never thank you enough for your service to us daughters of a king. Love you from South Africa

  • @blacklove804
    @blacklove804 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    I was dating a man. That always borrowed money from me. It was so bad that my family couldn't stand him. Granted he paid it back. It still was a trigger. Because they felt like he should be helping you. How can he take from a woman with 4 kids. My ex wanted to be a millionaire, so he would have half his check going to his 401k. That's why he never had money. I eventually came to my senses.

  • @MrsBlack-fd5np
    @MrsBlack-fd5np 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Oh my goodness… your message was very touching. I wish I had this 35 years ago when I was a teenager. But I’m never too old to learn. Many blessings to you and your wife. You are truly a blessing to all that can hear your voice.

  • @Matoaka365
    @Matoaka365 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Thaannkkkk youuuuuuu!!!! 🙏🏾😀🙌🏾🏃🏾‍♀️This is going to change my life! Keep me from wasting my time. I'm encountering ALL of these scenarios. I'm Christian, single and celibate, and started dating again after taking a self imposed break. I've done ok 😏 enforcing my boundaries. But I'm going to do waaay better! When I say these things to men that you mentioned, they try to make me seem like I'm being unreasonable or jealous. 😩 Smh. And then I second guess myself. This is the confirmation I needed. Thank you Pastor Blakes! I'm going to stand my ground and do so with authority! It's not my job to convince a man to respect my boundaries. I give too many chances before cutting them off. If he doesn't respect them off jump, I'm out. 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

  • @1313MockingbirdLane
    @1313MockingbirdLane 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    "What are you losing?" 🤣🤣🤣

  • @natashariley9226
    @natashariley9226 2 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    Absolutely Bishop. Boundaries Are Essential. Not compromising my boundaries. We Teach People how to teach you.. Single by choice/Not Thirsty and Not Shacking. I was dating someone briefly asked if he could move in . My response. Absoutely NOT. !!! Red Flags. Believing God for my husband. God fearing On Fire for the Lord. Real Man! ThankYou Bishop for teaching this valuable lesson .AMEN

  • @tayeshacadore1254
    @tayeshacadore1254 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I hope everyone is well and ready to be educated 🙏🏾😉

  • @vaclinciapounds8859
    @vaclinciapounds8859 2 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    This came right on time. Can't wait to hear the message.

    • @Tiffmart08
      @Tiffmart08 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      SAME!!

    • @Dr.J1972
      @Dr.J1972 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      True

    • @janellamurphy4212
      @janellamurphy4212 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Badly Needed message for me to hear!!!! Revaluating Time!!!

  • @africanbelleUg
    @africanbelleUg 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    The video came just at the right time. I’m moving on with my life.Been dating a guy who’s never changing his actions,not owning his mistakes and making me spend all in the name of love. I’m 24,he is 40..
    Thank God

  • @lwarfield52
    @lwarfield52 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Okay, Bishop. You telling my business. 😯. Yes.. I give up my goals and had no boundaries. Good news! I am back on track. I picked up my goals and reset my boundaries. Thank you Bishop and First Lady Lisa for the important message. ♥️🌷

  • @magodejoshua
    @magodejoshua 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    At 24 and single. This couldn't have come in no other time than now. Thank God for tonight!
    BOUNDARIES make me the woman i should be! And my children(to be) can't be exposed like that. Nahhh🙏🙏

  • @clutchinmypearls6490
    @clutchinmypearls6490 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Your glasses match your background. RIGHT ON PASTOR !!!!Great message.

  • @dianeoconnor7253
    @dianeoconnor7253 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I'm dying laughing! How much money you make?🤣🤣🤣 You're talking pure facts!

  • @LC-cg7bs
    @LC-cg7bs 2 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    I never had children, Pastor, have seen this so many times with friend & family. Preach Pastor! This needed be said. Thank You Jesus!!!!

  • @angelarcher6255
    @angelarcher6255 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    YESSSSSS 🤩 I’m looking forward to this 🌟

  • @maitai7995
    @maitai7995 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Grateful 2b here. Be blessed RC & Lisa

  • @sohoye5494
    @sohoye5494 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Man look bishop be having me rolling 🤣🤣😆 preach pastor! Nothing but the truth!! 💯🙌🏾🙌🏾

  • @correanne5366
    @correanne5366 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Made all these detrimental mistakes, me & my children are survivors of Domestic Abuse-Violence. I am trying to help others with my book about toxic dating dynamics. I am an ole hippie chick, but no matter the ethnicity all losers/ predators sound the same...luv your antics!! 💜

  • @kmydesire12
    @kmydesire12 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    He used to ask if my day was busy he was really pocket watching. My self love journey began over a year ago, I am forever changed and impacted and now my work on forgiving myself

  • @LaPinturaBella
    @LaPinturaBella 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Not only does bringing various men around your kids damage your image in your kids eyes, but when those relationships end, it adds pain of abandonment to your kids psyche.

  • @actscigirl37
    @actscigirl37 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I'm gonna use my Jamaican terms. Talk up di tings dem Bishop RC!!!

  • @bonitasmith6064
    @bonitasmith6064 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you Pastor Blake's. I never get enough of listening to how God is using you and words of wisdom. At 61 I'm definitely not to old to learn and take heed. In 2021 left ex narcissist fiance and I did let him push some boundaries and ignored some red flags, but God delivered me and I have so much peace and understanding why God allowed me to go through the horrible experience. Eyes open and heart is guarded and trusting God's timing. Thank you and God Bless ⭐👋🙏

  • @staceyfoster1695
    @staceyfoster1695 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you for having this talk with us!❤

  • @sandragreen5146
    @sandragreen5146 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    This is so factual. Boundaries are essential!!🙌🙏🙌

  • @GodsObedientChild-Deuteron6262
    @GodsObedientChild-Deuteron6262 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Bishop Blakes, I enjoy your laughter, it shows that you're so down to earth and very relatable😄. God's continued blessings be upon you, your ministry and your entire family, in Jesus' Holy and Blessed name, Hallelujah, Amen💕✨!

  • @AnjelSpeaks
    @AnjelSpeaks ปีที่แล้ว

    God bless you for allowing God to use you. So many women are realizing their worth just by listening to your videos. This video empowered me to block someone that has triggered me multiple times, and God made clear he was toxic. This just shows me how much God loves us that he tries to protect us in so many ways. Not only giving us warnings in our own spirit. Through dreams and visions. Through circumstances. But even to use others to teach and speak these things. And makes sure u listen to them. 🙌 God is so good. 💖

  • @meccawatts4631
    @meccawatts4631 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Haven't been a session that I disagreed with yet pastor! You speaking ALL the truth!

  • @EsiriE
    @EsiriE 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I’m only 6 minutes in, but thank you so much for the way you encourage women. Especially as a man. We love you and you’re doing a great thing. May God bless and increase you in every area of your life.
    May he strengthen your union with your wife and shower you with abundant favour and blessings. Ijn amen 🙏🏾

  • @simoneingleton483
    @simoneingleton483 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Youre so right

  • @jenniferjones6233
    @jenniferjones6233 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    He is such a blessing! His teachings are very eye opening. I thank God for his right on time teachings.

  • @ellieanya1683
    @ellieanya1683 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I’m so glad I found this channel at 24

  • @camuyana
    @camuyana 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I have very clear boundaries and I have regained my self-esteem and know my worth so whoever I choose and let into my life it is not a benefit, it is a privilege.

  • @cassandrat300
    @cassandrat300 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I wish I could have heard this message 20 yrs ago!

  • @terrybrown7510
    @terrybrown7510 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Boundaries are the evidence of self love!!!! Amen to that!!

  • @jericovington5095
    @jericovington5095 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I grew up without a father. This word and instruction is so needed. Thank you Master Teacher RC Blakes🥰

  • @shearonnesbeth5315
    @shearonnesbeth5315 ปีที่แล้ว

    I'm 50 years old and am so blessed to be a recipient of your teachings thank you dearly

  • @alisonfranklin4494
    @alisonfranklin4494 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Pastor RC Blakes!!!! You are keeping it 💯 on a spiritual platform!!! I’m on the floor cracking up 😂 at you as well!!!! The truth shall set everyone free!!!!

  • @Vicki1951
    @Vicki1951 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Thank you RC. This was a very necessary and informational conversation that needed to be said. I am 70 yrs young now and for the most part of my life I have lived by these boundaries. However, when I haven’t (remember, I said most, not all) I paid dearly and once again, I had to heal a broken heart. Within the past year, I have said no, emphatically, to get involved with some guy who only wanted sex. Not intimacy, sex. I didn’t know these guys, but I knew that if that’s what they wanted, I knew they were only looking for some free action. I may be older, but I’m certainly not desperate. The thought of going to bed and cuddling up as I go to sleep sounds wonderful but, if he’s asking for sex before marriage? He’s not into any form of cuddling, much less intimacy. I thoroughly enjoy your messages and even at my age, I still learn something new. Keep on keeping on. ❤️

  • @talentedt5080
    @talentedt5080 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Thank you again Pastor RC Blakes you are always so informative with this information because these are red flags that I do not allow men to cross when I am dating at this time I am not dating because I am still healing from a toxic relationship it’s almost 3 years for me but when I do start again I am going to enforce all six of these boundaries will never be crossed💪🏽🙅🏽‍♀️🚩💯

  • @kimc5379
    @kimc5379 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Whew… What a great message Bishop RC Blake’s. I replayed this message 5 times. This message brought tears to my eyes! 24 years with the Narc, I didn’t know what I was dealing with. I loved so hard that I lost myself. Boundaries are so important.

  • @CBrown86
    @CBrown86 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Pastor Blakes is 100% correct about the children. I watch a lot of predator hunter channels and they have showed how these molesters talk among themselves. MANY of them have said that the easiest way to get a child is to date a single mother, gaining their trust, and then gaining access to abuse the child. Thank you Pastor for bringing this up, it is true, they say so themselves!

    • @HisaLight2mypath
      @HisaLight2mypath 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      You're right I don't even tell them I have a 13 year old daughter.

  • @rosalindsoo3192
    @rosalindsoo3192 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Please give guidance for older single / divorced woman on how to handle relationships. Starting over but seems to go into the same spiral again and again

    • @luciakipps5653
      @luciakipps5653 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Don’t date
      Fall In love with Jesus
      He is your husband
      We are the Bride of Christ first and always
      Ask for His Baptism of Power and Fire
      Let Holy Spirit heal and teach and build you
      Ask for YOUR Christ Ordained Husband and learn all about Kingdom Marriage and the specific purpose you will fulfill together
      God will bring you to him like Ruth to Boaz and Eve was presented to Adam after she was complete and God woke him to see and know her
      Stay in Praise and Worship in Faith for it to come in Gods appointed perfect time

  • @Adore.Winter
    @Adore.Winter 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Yessss! Can’t wait.