After 8 days, he reached out yesterday, wrote to see how I was doing. Politely I answered and re established NC. After a beautiful relationship of two years, he was rude and talked to me in an ugly way. I had to walk away. I love him, but I am willing to let him go. Hurts like hell, but what de did, really hurts me.
I fear my ex gf did the same after some things that were said. Sometimes we say things we shouldn't say and don't mean. Don't give up so easily, forgive and give it another try if there is indeed love.
Yeah, hard talks are going to happen in any relationship. My ex walked out on me over text after two years and blocked me everywhere. Still don't know why she broke up with me.
ANSWER - NEVER. Know your worth and move the f on. There are people who will appreciate and value you and will NEVER let you go. PASS to the ex. I'm not interested in a fearful cowardice relationship. I'm looking for a grown up who can communicate and wanna work through things. what makes you think they aren't going to leave again? PASS
👸focus all of your energy on why your self-esteem is so low that U, want the thing that threw u away 🤬?! which means u don't love nor respect yourself 🤷♀️. NEVER break nc!
My ex broke no contact. She showed up at my house. And we had i extreme heart to heart. Long story short we both needed no contact to truly appreciate each other.thank you for al your advise. P.s. we both agree to get help and work on our relationship. ❤
62 days NC and just recently starting to feel myself break out of the despair. Been trying to understand where I went wrong and realized she went wrong just as much and actually probably a lot more. Good luck everyone you are worthy of love and happiness.
I'm a little over 5 months out of the breakup. We dated for 2 years and 2 months. Stressful life events caused her to shut down emotionally, and when I asked for more from her, she took it as rejection. Broke up with me and gave me a week to get out. Her daughter saw me as a father and her family loved me. It didn't matter. I held onto hope for almost 4 months. I worked on myself and focused on my health and career. I hoped that she would realize what she took for granted and threw away like trash. However, a mutual friend told me that my ex had gone and banged an ex after a month. Then she started dating a new guy after 2 months (set up by one of her friends). That revelation was worse than the initial days after the breakup. I lost 10 lbs in a week, couldn't sleep, couldn't eat. It was awful. However, that reveal let me finally let go. Every time I try to think about my ex, I think about those crusty dudes screwing her. It hurt at first, but now I'm just grossed out. I'm dating again now and went on a date with a girl that I am vibing with very well. We've been talking every day and are connecting so well. This girl seems like such a better fit for me than my ex. Obviously, only time will tell how this pans out. However, it gets better, guys. Let the person that rejected you go. There are better things out there for you. You just have to be open to the opportunities when they present themselves.
84 days for me, i definitely feel for you and everyone struggling. It’s a marathon and there’s a light at the other end of the tunnel, stay strong and know your worth
Honestly, this is so sad to me. I know letting go of people is extremely hard and especially more so if you're an AP like myself. I got ghosted and it's been 5 weeks since I started NC. But honestly, don't beg for somebody to talk to you or to value and cherish you. They had their chance and they left you in the dirt - abandoned without any notice and without a care in the world. In my case, I gave it my all and cared about him and was straightforward with him and this is what I got. Don't settle, y'all. Move on and wait for the person who will lay his hand on your head and pray for you when you're down in the dumps and seeing tears in your eyes would cause him to spring into action to try and ease that pain. That's godly love. That's unbreakable friendship and respect.
If you were ghosted then you're not really going NC. They're going NC on you. They most likely won't contact you again since they ghosted. I should know. I've been ghosted a few times. They never come back.
@@AntwhaleNearfar What do you mean wrong? In this context where the OP is watching a video about when to contact an ex during NC and judging by their comment about "tempting at times" indicates that they ARE trying to patch things up. The OP didn't start NC in the first place. They were ghosted. The other person is doing NC on OP. You can't do NC on someone who has disappeared on you first. They're already gone.
No matter how many time, never break no contact. Dont talk to them; dont talk about them. Block them at all social networks. Even at 5-6 months mark, it is not enough. If they email you in that mark of around 6 months do not be happy, do not wears off your boundaries, set firm limits and protect yourselves. Only after they have shown true regret and compromise to have you back making efforts to have an honest conversation you can unblock them and start to rethink the situation. No efforts to repair the relationship = block forever.
@ᏔᎻᎪͲՏ: +𝟮𝟯𝟰𝟴𝟬𝟴𝟵𝟭𝟮𝟯𝟱𝟵𝟱 thank you sweetie so much but I'm good I don't want him back like that just a friend God bless you and I love you and I wish you all the happiness in the world Amen 🙏❤️💯
@@blacademichey buddy I’m trying to get your attention by tagging you lol but how about when I technically caused the breakup because I lied to her about a fake profile I had made a while before. So yes it’s my fault, I gave her the breakup and am at 18 days now. However I did apologize and let her know all of that stuff so I believe I did it right !! Just curious on your take about this and how they didn’t just give up and abandoned me because it was valid..
I went 40 days, I broke it and was fortunate enough for it to be gracefully and respectfully responded to. The response was along the lines of it being too soon so I am resuming the mission. I am an anxious type (and my ex an avoidant) and I think it helped me re-gain focus on what I should be doing for myself because otherwise the endless barage of "what ifs" would continue. Now I know their current state, I can get busy with a sound mind. Thank you for your video. God bless 🙏
Day 66 of no contact...I'm getting better. I know I wasn't perfect but definitely worth it. I'm not sure about wanting him back anymore but I still miss him
Can you help me? In my case I broke up w him cause it wasn't working out and I needed to focus on my exams And if I went back it's like a repetetive loop where I'll fall again and regret again But I really do wanna have some clarity.... and stop playing cause I just blocked him outta nowhere I just don't know wht to say😭 Should i or not?
And what if she wants to return but she thinks I won't forgive her like she knows already that she hurts me she admitted that the day she left so how can she return even if she wanted
I broke no contact and I’m feeling sad again. He texted me after being in no contact over one month and I responded 😢now I feel messed up again. He left me. I asked him if we can reconcile and he basically said he’s moving out of the state to start over. And now I’m crushed again. He’s not coming back.
Thank you for your videos, because of them I found my motivation in growth in life, it started because of my ex but I’m doing it and realizing the negative things about myself because of you, so thank you for making me feel my worth again
Been no contact 6 months. He reaches out now… no lovey dovey talk. Only talk of working on himself. He told me he made a big big mistake leaving. But at this point we both just need to work on ourselves.
I started NC in December and they got mad and blocked me. Unfortunately for me I was in a relationship with a narcissist and have to break the trauma bond. Watching these videos help the healing process so thank you. 😊
@@swolebodydaddy3816 he has tried to reach out a few times. The latest was last month when him and his new gf were having issues and I won’t talk to him. He still stalks my social media 🙄 his new gf does too.
Honestly I lied to many times I’ve cheated not by sec but inappropriate conversations. I can’t really see my self reaching out because I’ve done to much. Begged everything wrong u should do I did do. So right now I think it’s best a stay away work on my self. It’s nothing I can say to her I’ve hurt her to many times over 7 years of breaking up getting back but this I do feel the last because we lived together this time. It’s definitely over and I gotta eat it it’s hard going on a week now. Shit hitting me a million ways no lie it’s hard waking up in the mornings I just feel lost right now everything is blurry for me. She really gone but I know deep down this is for the best but man I messed up to many times!
I noticed in many comments the dumpers are girls and they come back... I've been in NC for 4 months with my avoidant ex, if he doesn't reach out first it will last forever. I'm a Taurus, I stick to my guns...
Thanks Coach. I added you to my videos I watch. Thanks for the info. I'm having a hard time and had some big screw ups with my NC. Had to start over and I delayed it and said stupid stuff that hopefully didn't jeopardize the process of getting her back. I'm really relying on that the relationship itself was very Good and a strong connection.
Move on girl see I had one didn’t contact 4 months he betrayed me he played mind games I was hurt to the core but slowly realized I know my worth don’t need validation for nobody to come back in my life if he text me on god I won’t respond cause i know I want best for myself
@@blacademic wow thank you for the reply. I had posted a picture on my profile he texted me I look good on this pic that’s why I’m afraid to get closer. I ask to see him next month when he’s not busy. He asked for what occasion. I said just to chill and laugh. He said I might have to do more than that. That’s why I’m trying to stay away from you I’m so afraid. He told me to call him when I was done . He was working and I was too. Since it was so late I texted him to say maybe tomorrow since it was gonna be late. I sent him a picture of my work to hold on to. Take note that he’s an avoidant🤔PS. he might say things as if he was relaxed I still have to slow down cause if not he could go hide on his cave🙄😄. I don’t regret not calling him. Too much for one night lol
NO! I DIDN'T ENJOY IT!!! YOU JUST GAVE ME THREE DOZES OF HARD TRUTH AND THEY ARE BITTER!!! It's almost as if you were staring into my mind. Thank you for not allowing me to make a fool of myself. I am gonna wait. I have just done six weeks, at least 10 weeks to go.❤❤❤
Just over a month NC but she was sending "Words with Friends" requests and I had ordered a Valentine's day gift before the faux breakup (she actually just ghosted with no breakup) and sent a text saying "Thanks for the gift. Happy Valentine's day gift" but I didn't respond. Since then, it's been radio silence. Yes, I'm anxious and am wanting to reach out but trying to stay strong.
Been doing NC on a situationship for about 2 months, i said some pretty harsh truths so I don't think he'll come back of his own accord as he is probably A) Probably afraid of me and my reaction, B) His ego/friends would never let him live it down for taking my 'shit' C) There isn't enough history between us for it to seem like a significant enough loss for it to be worth resurrecting...It's a really weird inbetween kinda place and it sucks because my feelings are real and it totally feels like unfinished business. I sense it does for him too but I obviously don't know for sure. I'm gonna have to roll the dice and try and open a conversation as i can't carry this around with me forever. If he doesn't respond at least I tried.
@Liz's Half-Ass Reviews and Stuff Sent a few messages, no response. I thought if he really didn't want to hear from me he could just block me or tell me he's not interested. I think pride is still getting in the way as he doesn't want to look like hes given in too easily. I'll try one last direct message asking if he wants to meet up before letting it go.
So you said nasty things to him and he broke up with you? Sounds reasonable. They might have been true but you should never speak to an SO in a disrespectful way.
Ohmygosh @elharrop I am literally in the EXACT same situation. It’s crazy how even though a situationship isn’t an official relationship, losing it definitely does suck. I too am the one that’s in the wrong and I’ve done everything coach said not to do but that’s before I discovered his channel. I’m officially on day 4 of no contact and trying to heal and improve myself. I’m hoping we can reconcile and rekindle the connection we had. Good luck to everyone out there 🙏🙏🙏
"Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh." That means, words of gratitude and love flow from your mouth, why? Because you have a grateful heart, you are focused on love, gratitude and forgiveness, which delivers you from evil and brings more abundance.
i broke no contact to apologize for what i did that lead the break up i feel at peace now that im blocked on on social media n not not by ph. i am capable to build my future and leave it on their hands. now and i just wanted to make sure thats okay as peace of mind it did help me to reflect on my mistakes and owning up to my crazy ways and i hope that they see that and they come back when its time.
Can I say something? I know I’m gonna get backlash for this but please hear me out. I failed my relationship. I cheated and I felt so remorseful afterward. I’ve own up that mistake by going to therapy and working on myself. It’s been 2 months since the break up and since then. My ex has reached out and has spent the night many times. But she’s on the fence. Forgives me enough to be a friend but doesn’t see us trying again. That was a month ago. I just now recently am trying NC but I have no idea if this will work. I don’t know how to feel. Ofc I would love for us to try again because what we had was so great when we’re together but I know I shouldn’t do NC in the means of trying to get my ex back. Idk what to do. I need help. I know my mistake and I’m owning up to it. Plz anyone who can help me and if you do get this Coach plz help me
My ex, after six months of No-Contact, contacted me last night. I thought about all the guidance from your videos on how to act and what to say. I stayed calm with no anger or regret. It was a good conversation and I feel it was more than just bread crumbs. She reached out to me first, and was genuinely concerned about what I was doing and my successful progress. She even wanted to see pictures of my new house. Is this a trap? Although I’m happy she contacted me, I don’t trust my progress just yet. What do I do?
I almost messaged this guy back ( who broke it off and never apologized for being a jerk nor messaged me for months) after he sent me a fake happy bday . Definitely staying no contact. I deserve better. He doesn't deserve a text back or my energy. Im not falling for his words anymore and only looking at actions.
I was on NC with ex for more than 3 months but i finally broke NC bc she had her things at my place for the longest and i needed to know if she still wanted them or not. Anyway, a conversation took place and she wants to meet me for coffee. Turns out she left them there on purpose. Sometimes u just run with ur gut.
Naw.. he already said he wouldn’t never try to work on our relationship if he ever got caught.. I told him I was done.. haven’t called to text since last Wednesday
I broke it with him.. he was inconsistent, my needs were not bring met. It's Been over a month I have not answered his calls or text. I care about him, however he has not treated me well. I don't know if I want to speak to him. Thanks for your videos
Update: My ex wants to meet for the first time after she broke up with me. She says there's a lot to talk about so I doubt it’s a “get back together situation which I wish it was” And I'm nervous as to what I should do or act. Back story it's been 2 weeks since the break up and she's reached out a couple of times since, some days she says she will always love me but we aren't good for each other (I feel like we could have worked through anything if she allowed it) and she's also messaged me stating that she loves me but goes and blocks me and unblocks me and watching my stories etc. I can tell she is still upset if I'm not giving her full attention now. What should I do? I'm nervous and don't know what to expect being that it seems like it’s going to be a serious conversation. I do want to be with her but some things will need to be fixed on both sides if we did workout. Her planned exit showed me a person I wouldn't want to be with. I just don’t know what to do or if I should even meet up especially being that it seems to be a serious convo and not a get back together convo. Looking for advice.
If y'all can get on the path of healthy communication, it might be worth fighting for and saving. Only if you both can agree. If not, I would move on from her.
Look, the person that break up most of the time don’t need that closure conversation. So you have two options here: she’s missing you and trying to get your attention or she really wants to have this conversation. Take this opportunity to restart communication, start talking again, falling in love but only if you see commitment and she doesn’t start to play games (ghosting, block-unblock you, etc).
I seriously need help my support system has basically made me look and feel stupid about being hurt over the situation. I’m stuck in my own head and they are not helping. It’s been 5 days no contact and it’s really not like her to contact anyone first
I dumped my ex and went no contact ,he reached out first just to say how he sees what kind of person I really Im and how much I didnt care..main lesson still missing,learned nothing about equal give and take ,still has the audacity to complain why I dumped him instead of raising up and evaluating with maturity taking accountability..so I realized I have been expecting something from someone who doesnt have it in them to give,they have no tools to offer that..and its not like I didnt see it ,I saw those red flags but gave him beneffit of the doubt ..sometimes wishful thinking can fool us when we already knew deep down .Good luck everyone!
I don't know anything about your relationship, but it looks to me like you wanted a mind reader, or someone who knew exactly what you were thinking about without you probably expressing it. Unfortunately that is a superpower that human beings are just not equipped with. The disappointment in you after realizing that this individual is not going to behave in the manner you were expecting is appalling. It speaks to the level of conceit that women have today. Stop expecting so much from people who are not perfect.
Question. I’m being sent good tiktoks saying she got hope in us. We rushed it. Thinks we were meant to be. This is bread crumbs. I was thinking of the next time she reaches out and it’s a good one I tell her to stop unless she means it and proves it and don’t contact me unless it’s something significant. If she sends a negative one I will just leave it on read. What should I do?
My ex effectively told me he didn’t want the same things as me and wouldn’t work on things or change. I moved out and it’s been about a month. I asked for no contact but they checked in a week later about rent, and again about separating things like taxes (common law to single), phone plans etc. I felt ignoring those messages weren’t cool but at the same time he was asserting his urgency to detach so quickly. 12 year relationship so it felt very cold & indifferent. Different to the affectionate person I knew. Basically I have texted back to confirm rent payment and whatnot but Im wondering did I do no-contact right or do I straight ignore his messages? What’s your professional read and input. Much appreciated ❤
Stay strong, i was in a relationship with the love of my life for 3 years and iam in NC for 2 months now build good habits and eliminate bad habits thats the best advice i can give you for now!
We never broke up officially i just told her im not dealing with certain things and she not acting right so I just told her im done and it’s been two days
Is something so soothing about listening to you especially that other music that be behind you it's some kind of meditation music or whatever it is it sounds so good it just goes with your hole way! I don't ever want to see my ex again he has stayed away too long without contacting me and no kind of way, so whoever he's got I hope you keep her and whoever else he get cuz I'm most definitely have better coming my way when I'm ready I like listening to you though 😅
What if she the one who broke it off and she blocked me what do I do then it's been a week now and I truly realize where I went wrong if I can't contact her cuz of being blocked what do I do then
Mr. Coach Black I have a question for you. Concerning my Ex if a rebound is no comparison to you. Than why do yr Ex block-you to protect the rebound feeling over yours even with the history younhave with her ? The new rebound Don t have that history with her or memory so please anwser that one !
What if your ex continues to contact me and come over the house with my daughter unannounced. I try to go NC and heal but she continues to text me when I stop text. NC does work but it hard to heal when they keep coming around. Any advice coach BLK.?????
Hey coach, thanks for all your knowledge and help. I am very anxious, when I began to feel a bit detached, my ex reach out for my birthday 11 months into the break up saying she knows that I dont want to communicate but that she wanted to let me know shewas ready to exchange if and when I would want to. I answered thank you, you can talk to me if you want to, I would probably be available. Then nothing more since 4 months... Should, could I reach out for her own birthday and try to know what she meant/wanted with that "exchange offer"? Did I screw up with my answer? I am so afraid that was my only opportunity.
What if trust was broken. She dumped me and blocked me immediately after the break up phone call. I took accountability and have been doing a ton of therapy and even became sober during the relationship. But what if they don’t trust you? Will she ever reach out
I'm in this situation but she stuck around for a couple of months after the break up even meeting me etc talking most days then she slowly got more and more distant and kept flaking on me when i asked for us to communicate on where we was going with us she ignored and would dissappear for a few days then come bk as nothing had happened eventually i got tired of this and have been in no contact for nearly 3 weeks she was 15 years younger than me and very immature i just wanted to know where i stood i guess i made my own mind up hopefully she will figure it out and come to her senses in her own time if not I guess the no contact will b permanently as hard as that is to accept
Pls I need an advice, my husband has break the no contact, he started reaching out first, send me money for me and the kids to go out start complimenting me, he start talking about the future again with no apology. Now what should I do, I want him to apologize and and talk about d past . Should I break the no contact?????
I blocked him for first time after broke up 2 months ago and he literally wrote me the same day I blocked him asking me why I did that. I’m sure he will contact me again, should I answer him and give him explanation or what? I want him to come back that’s why I blocked him, I want him to feel my absence and that he is losing me… 🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
Damn this is a hard one, our relationship ended so abruptly that I didn’t get a chance to say everything I wanted to say. Been almost 3 weeks, she reached out to me once but that’s it. Thinking of texting her something like “Instead of being satisfied with how happy you made me because honestly you made it really happy I should have been more focused on figuring out ways to add more value to your life” or something cute like that. What y’all think??
@@cinemaabroad I started NC immediately after breaking up with me. My fear is her thinking I never cared. She hasn’t received a single “miss you” text from me or anything... but yeah I’m fighting to not reach out but guess I’ll continue NC.
@@fiercemillionaireproject3824 look bro its hard.i actually messed up and facetimed her no answer and texted her saying I hope everything is ok and that she is enjoying life..and no answer that was last night..shes clearly indifferent towards me.but if you must text her just do it once and then you have that burden off your chest because you at leasr reached out
@@cinemaabroad we got this bro. I'm sorry to hear that, how long has it been again? So I acquired a decent rebound during NC and I'm good friends with one of my EXs good friends... Is it a good idea to flaunt my rebound here and there? Broken up for 3 weeks. To be clear I'm in love with my EX and want her back but could I get away with posting my rebound on a few Snapchat stories. I know it'll get back to her.
@@fiercemillionaireproject3824 she dumped me 2 weeks ago.the heartbreak stage was horrible..this week I went through the realization stage that she aint coming back.but i wouldn't post your new chick..its only been 3 weeks for you.she could still come back.right now she is mad and sad but if you do that she really wont come back to you..give it some time.this is the hardest stage where theres still a possibility but you'll learn as time goes on that she is indifferent towards you and you'll realize and then acceptance stage is next and thats also a f*cked up stage to be in
What about for an ex with dissmissive avoidant style. I saw a few videos, that the changes of getting back, is sending them a msg first after 6 weeks. Cause of their fears of rejection? Or do you recommend also no contact first and wait for them, even if that means it will never happen?
Please answer me this I left him as he wasn’t meeting me as from different cities but I did loads for him financially but had to make him learn it’s been 10 weeks you think be will come back ????
Indefinite no contact = Never reach out to the dumpers unless the dumpers reach out first, then you respond accordingly.
Never, ever, ever, break no contact stay strong have some respect for yourself
If it takes 5 months I don't want her back
@@derrickmoon3296 don't blame you
I just did 😭😭😭 I'm so embarrassed! Can't delete the message now. I'm so so embarrassed.
@FiaBoomSchack they have to do the chasing its the only way good luck
After 8 days, he reached out yesterday, wrote to see how I was doing. Politely I answered and re established NC. After a beautiful relationship of two years, he was rude and talked to me in an ugly way. I had to walk away. I love him, but I am willing to let him go. Hurts like hell, but what de did, really hurts me.
I fear my ex gf did the same after some things that were said. Sometimes we say things we shouldn't say and don't mean. Don't give up so easily, forgive and give it another try if there is indeed love.
Phhht give up so easy .
Couples argue and are intended to GROW TOGETHER and learn each other. Talk it out even if you need a counselor as a mediator
Yeah, hard talks are going to happen in any relationship. My ex walked out on me over text after two years and blocked me everywhere. Still don't know why she broke up with me.
ANSWER - NEVER. Know your worth and move the f on. There are people who will appreciate and value you and will NEVER let you go. PASS to the ex. I'm not interested in a fearful cowardice relationship. I'm looking for a grown up who can communicate and wanna work through things. what makes you think they aren't going to leave again? PASS
Exactly
Very well said thank you
👸focus all of your energy on why your self-esteem is so low that U, want the thing that threw u away 🤬?! which means u don't love nor respect yourself 🤷♀️. NEVER break nc!
Facts
Facts
No contact is contact, the strongest form of letting someone know you’re not to be played around with.
My ex broke no contact. She showed up at my house. And we had i extreme heart to heart. Long story short we both needed no contact to truly appreciate each other.thank you for al your advise.
P.s. we both agree to get help and work on our relationship. ❤
🔥🔥
How long did you go guys go no contact before she broke it off? How long were you together for?
I also broke no contact (I’m the dumper(because I felt taken for granted) ) and now we’re going for couples counselling ❤
@mbaleah I’m happy for you♥️ Communication and respect is key😘
I broke no contact because I’m human. I don’t want to get back together with him, but trying to reach out as a friend…
62 days NC and just recently starting to feel myself break out of the despair. Been trying to understand where I went wrong and realized she went wrong just as much and actually probably a lot more. Good luck everyone you are worthy of love and happiness.
I’m on 51 and still struggling
We are on like the same day lol she’s reached out a few times and is bread crumbing me I gotta get her to that fear of loss stage
I'm a little over 5 months out of the breakup. We dated for 2 years and 2 months. Stressful life events caused her to shut down emotionally, and when I asked for more from her, she took it as rejection. Broke up with me and gave me a week to get out. Her daughter saw me as a father and her family loved me. It didn't matter. I held onto hope for almost 4 months. I worked on myself and focused on my health and career. I hoped that she would realize what she took for granted and threw away like trash. However, a mutual friend told me that my ex had gone and banged an ex after a month. Then she started dating a new guy after 2 months (set up by one of her friends). That revelation was worse than the initial days after the breakup. I lost 10 lbs in a week, couldn't sleep, couldn't eat. It was awful.
However, that reveal let me finally let go. Every time I try to think about my ex, I think about those crusty dudes screwing her. It hurt at first, but now I'm just grossed out. I'm dating again now and went on a date with a girl that I am vibing with very well. We've been talking every day and are connecting so well. This girl seems like such a better fit for me than my ex. Obviously, only time will tell how this pans out. However, it gets better, guys. Let the person that rejected you go. There are better things out there for you. You just have to be open to the opportunities when they present themselves.
It’s a long process.
84 days for me, i definitely feel for you and everyone struggling. It’s a marathon and there’s a light at the other end of the tunnel, stay strong and know your worth
Honestly, this is so sad to me. I know letting go of people is extremely hard and especially more so if you're an AP like myself. I got ghosted and it's been 5 weeks since I started NC. But honestly, don't beg for somebody to talk to you or to value and cherish you. They had their chance and they left you in the dirt - abandoned without any notice and without a care in the world. In my case, I gave it my all and cared about him and was straightforward with him and this is what I got. Don't settle, y'all. Move on and wait for the person who will lay his hand on your head and pray for you when you're down in the dumps and seeing tears in your eyes would cause him to spring into action to try and ease that pain. That's godly love. That's unbreakable friendship and respect.
How long were you together?
It's very hard! I was ghosted. It's been very painful, confusing, challenging, and not to mention quite tempting at times. Going on 4 months, NC.
Oh god thats terrible and make smell fearful. I don't wanna go that long. I'm already 6 weeks since I've seen her 😔
If you were ghosted then you're not really going NC. They're going NC on you. They most likely won't contact you again since they ghosted. I should know. I've been ghosted a few times. They never come back.
@@Gnomesmusher Wrong. NC means not chasing them and trying to patch things up or make them right or find out why you’ve been left.
@@AntwhaleNearfar What do you mean wrong? In this context where the OP is watching a video about when to contact an ex during NC and judging by their comment about "tempting at times" indicates that they ARE trying to patch things up.
The OP didn't start NC in the first place. They were ghosted. The other person is doing NC on OP. You can't do NC on someone who has disappeared on you first. They're already gone.
@@Gnomesmusher actually the ghoster does return sometimes
No matter how many time, never break no contact. Dont talk to them; dont talk about them. Block them at all social networks. Even at 5-6 months mark, it is not enough. If they email you in that mark of around 6 months do not be happy, do not wears off your boundaries, set firm limits and protect yourselves. Only after they have shown true regret and compromise to have you back making efforts to have an honest conversation you can unblock them and start to rethink the situation. No efforts to repair the relationship = block forever.
When you have healed and not emotionally involved that is when you are able to communicate again God bless ❤️💯
Thank you for your comment
@ᏔᎻᎪͲՏ: +𝟮𝟯𝟰𝟴𝟬𝟴𝟵𝟭𝟮𝟯𝟱𝟵𝟱 thank you sweetie so much but I'm good I don't want him back like that just a friend God bless you and I love you and I wish you all the happiness in the world Amen 🙏❤️💯
@@blacademichey buddy I’m trying to get your attention by tagging you lol but how about when I technically caused the breakup because I lied to her about a fake profile I had made a while before. So yes it’s my fault, I gave her the breakup and am at 18 days now. However I did apologize and let her know all of that stuff so I believe I did it right !! Just curious on your take about this and how they didn’t just give up and abandoned me because it was valid..
I went 40 days, I broke it and was fortunate enough for it to be gracefully and respectfully responded to. The response was along the lines of it being too soon so I am resuming the mission. I am an anxious type (and my ex an avoidant) and I think it helped me re-gain focus on what I should be doing for myself because otherwise the endless barage of "what ifs" would continue.
Now I know their current state, I can get busy with a sound mind.
Thank you for your video. God bless 🙏
Replace them "what ifs" with "even if"
Day 66 of no contact...I'm getting better. I know I wasn't perfect but definitely worth it. I'm not sure about wanting him back anymore but I still miss him
Completely on point. Never break NC. The dumper needs to come to you, fight for you.
Sure does !! If they care for you even a little bit they'll come around
Can you help me?
In my case I broke up w him cause it wasn't working out and I needed to focus on my exams
And if I went back it's like a repetetive loop where I'll fall again and regret again
But I really do wanna have some clarity.... and stop playing cause I just blocked him outta nowhere
I just don't know wht to say😭
Should i or not?
Even if it was the woman? cause I always hear that the man needs to do the first move
And what if she wants to return but she thinks I won't forgive her like she knows already that she hurts me she admitted that the day she left so how can she return even if she wanted
@@xxxsahi8012Get over yourself. You're in the wrong and need to be an adult and reach out to him.
I broke no contact and I’m feeling sad again. He texted me after being in no contact over one month and I responded 😢now I feel messed up again. He left me. I asked him if we can reconcile and he basically said he’s moving out of the state to start over. And now I’m crushed again. He’s not coming back.
How are you now??
Thank you for your videos, because of them I found my motivation in growth in life, it started because of my ex but I’m doing it and realizing the negative things about myself because of you, so thank you for making me feel my worth again
Been no contact 6 months. He reaches out now… no lovey dovey talk. Only talk of working on himself. He told me he made a big big mistake leaving. But at this point we both just need to work on ourselves.
You're giving me hope, I've been blocked for 3 months now but hopefully he will unblock me and come back 😪🙏
@@oluwadamilolaoriade5426 even I'm also waiting for my gf to unblock me n call
I started NC in December and they got mad and blocked me. Unfortunately for me I was in a relationship with a narcissist and have to break the trauma bond. Watching these videos help the healing process so thank you. 😊
They always come bacm
@@californiacombativesclub202 I won’t let him. Gotta get out of the cycle.
I was in a relationship for one year with a narcissist too😂
How are things going. Did they reach out
@@swolebodydaddy3816 he has tried to reach out a few times. The latest was last month when him and his new gf were having issues and I won’t talk to him. He still stalks my social media 🙄 his new gf does too.
Honestly I lied to many times I’ve cheated not by sec but inappropriate conversations. I can’t really see my self reaching out because I’ve done to much. Begged everything wrong u should do I did do. So right now I think it’s best a stay away work on my self. It’s nothing I can say to her I’ve hurt her to many times over 7 years of breaking up getting back but this I do feel the last because we lived together this time. It’s definitely over and I gotta eat it it’s hard going on a week now. Shit hitting me a million ways no lie it’s hard waking up in the mornings I just feel lost right now everything is blurry for me. She really gone but I know deep down this is for the best but man I messed up to many times!
Man.. you got so much wisdom!
I noticed in many comments the dumpers are girls and they come back... I've been in NC for 4 months with my avoidant ex, if he doesn't reach out first it will last forever. I'm a Taurus, I stick to my guns...
Taurus gang. I’m the same way😂
@@langstonrichardson3828 that's the only way. They dumped you? A good Taurus will walk away. For good 🐂 And good luck with finding greener grass.
Never contact them if they dumped you... F em... have some self respect.
I’m almost on 3 months and each moment I feel excruciating pain.
It's gonna be a month for me bro
🙏🏾 this video just saved my self respect... Thank You
Thanks Coach. I added you to my videos I watch. Thanks for the info. I'm having a hard time and had some big screw ups with my NC. Had to start over and I delayed it and said stupid stuff that hopefully didn't jeopardize the process of getting her back. I'm really relying on that the relationship itself was very Good and a strong connection.
THIS IS THE BEST VIDEO!!!!!!
Thank you 🙏🏻 🙏🏻🙏🏻 You literally spoke my mind. I am 31 days NC and in was feeling weak. I feel strong again! 💪🏻
He reached out but not asking to reconcile. Acting as just if nothing happened thanks for updates
Move on girl see I had one didn’t contact 4 months he betrayed me he played mind games I was hurt to the core but slowly realized I know my worth don’t need validation for nobody to come back in my life if he text me on god I won’t respond cause i know I want best for myself
Ah, be careful with these. Could be breadcrumbs but I would just be short and see if he escalates and asks to see you
@@blacademic wow thank you for the reply. I had posted a picture on my profile he texted me I look good on this pic that’s why I’m afraid to get closer. I ask to see him next month when he’s not busy. He asked for what occasion. I said just to chill and laugh. He said I might have to do more than that. That’s why I’m trying to stay away from you I’m so afraid. He told me to call him when I was done . He was working and I was too. Since it was so late I texted him to say maybe tomorrow since it was gonna be late. I sent him a picture of my work to hold on to. Take note that he’s an avoidant🤔PS. he might say things as if he was relaxed I still have to slow down cause if not he could go hide on his cave🙄😄. I don’t regret not calling him. Too much for one night lol
NO! I DIDN'T ENJOY IT!!! YOU JUST GAVE ME THREE DOZES OF HARD TRUTH AND THEY ARE BITTER!!!
It's almost as if you were staring into my mind. Thank you for not allowing me to make a fool of myself. I am gonna wait. I have just done six weeks, at least 10 weeks to go.❤❤❤
Just over a month NC but she was sending "Words with Friends" requests and I had ordered a Valentine's day gift before the faux breakup (she actually just ghosted with no breakup) and sent a text saying "Thanks for the gift. Happy Valentine's day gift" but I didn't respond. Since then, it's been radio silence. Yes, I'm anxious and am wanting to reach out but trying to stay strong.
Been doing NC on a situationship for about 2 months, i said some pretty harsh truths so I don't think he'll come back of his own accord as he is probably A) Probably afraid of me and my reaction, B) His ego/friends would never let him live it down for taking my 'shit' C) There isn't enough history between us for it to seem like a significant enough loss for it to be worth resurrecting...It's a really weird inbetween kinda place and it sucks because my feelings are real and it totally feels like unfinished business. I sense it does for him too but I obviously don't know for sure. I'm gonna have to roll the dice and try and open a conversation as i can't carry this around with me forever. If he doesn't respond at least I tried.
How's it been since? I think i'm in the same boat
@Liz's Half-Ass Reviews and Stuff Sent a few messages, no response. I thought if he really didn't want to hear from me he could just block me or tell me he's not interested. I think pride is still getting in the way as he doesn't want to look like hes given in too easily. I'll try one last direct message asking if he wants to meet up before letting it go.
@@elharrop hoping all the best for you 🫶
So you said nasty things to him and he broke up with you? Sounds reasonable. They might have been true but you should never speak to an SO in a disrespectful way.
Ohmygosh @elharrop I am literally in the EXACT same situation. It’s crazy how even though a situationship isn’t an official relationship, losing it definitely does suck. I too am the one that’s in the wrong and I’ve done everything coach said not to do but that’s before I discovered his channel. I’m officially on day 4 of no contact and trying to heal and improve myself. I’m hoping we can reconcile and rekindle the connection we had. Good luck to everyone out there 🙏🙏🙏
Day 73 NC.. it gets better my brothers and sisters.. when you just do you..
When you have confidence nd also u have faith in universe that time you will call your gf ☺️ nd god bless me always ❤️
Thank you! This video and many others on your platform are helping me live and not just exist! Be well! 💜
"Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh." That means, words of gratitude and love flow from your mouth, why? Because you have a grateful heart, you are focused on love, gratitude and forgiveness, which delivers you from evil and brings more abundance.
After 5 years we're starting to rekindle!
Is it working out?
Update?
i broke no contact to apologize for what i did that lead the break up i feel at peace now that im blocked on on social media n not not by ph. i am capable to build my future and leave it on their hands. now and i just wanted to make sure thats okay as peace of mind it did help me to reflect on my mistakes and owning up to my crazy ways and i hope that they see that and they come back when its time.
Dont do that. I did that. I lost power.
Can I say something? I know I’m gonna get backlash for this but please hear me out. I failed my relationship. I cheated and I felt so remorseful afterward. I’ve own up that mistake by going to therapy and working on myself. It’s been 2 months since the break up and since then. My ex has reached out and has spent the night many times. But she’s on the fence. Forgives me enough to be a friend but doesn’t see us trying again. That was a month ago. I just now recently am trying NC but I have no idea if this will work. I don’t know how to feel. Ofc I would love for us to try again because what we had was so great when we’re together but I know I shouldn’t do NC in the means of trying to get my ex back. Idk what to do. I need help. I know my mistake and I’m owning up to it. Plz anyone who can help me and if you do get this Coach plz help me
2:25 video starts
My ex, after six months of No-Contact, contacted me last night. I thought about all the guidance from your videos on how to act and what to say. I stayed calm with no anger or regret. It was a good conversation and I feel it was more than just bread crumbs. She reached out to me first, and was genuinely concerned about what I was doing and my successful progress. She even wanted to see pictures of my new house. Is this a trap? Although I’m happy she contacted me, I don’t trust my progress just yet. What do I do?
How’s it going now bro? I’m on month 5 except she blocked me on all social media on like month 3
Updates
You are an awesome coach ..who speaks facts and help us to stay motivated
I almost messaged this guy back ( who broke it off and never apologized for being a jerk nor messaged me for months) after he sent me a fake happy bday . Definitely staying no contact. I deserve better. He doesn't deserve a text back or my energy. Im not falling for his words anymore and only looking at actions.
Please talk on the Avoidant type personality of ex. Thank you, Coach.
I will do more videos on avoidants, no problem 🤞🏿
4 to 5 MONTHS!? 😟 I was hoping weeks... Okay... Back to waiting... Patience come my way
Coach Blac is speaking directly to me this morning 😳 Wow! Thank you 🙏🏽
I’m in the gym everyday now. Working on ME.. and watching videos like this to help me get over him
Forward ever .NO CONTACT till die
I was on NC with ex for more than 3 months but i finally broke NC bc she had her things at my place for the longest and i needed to know if she still wanted them or not. Anyway, a conversation took place and she wants to meet me for coffee. Turns out she left them there on purpose. Sometimes u just run with ur gut.
Matthew 12:34❤
Thank you! I appreciate it
Naw.. he already said he wouldn’t never try to work on our relationship if he ever got caught.. I told him I was done.. haven’t called to text since last Wednesday
He reaches out every other day.
Thanks brother, I needed to hear this today 👊🏽
Good advice Coach. We should also practice Self love
I'll only break no contact if he actually says something meaningful about our relationship. No time for the games otherwise.
I broke it with him.. he was inconsistent, my needs were not bring met. It's Been over a month I have not answered his calls or text. I care about him, however he has not treated me well. I don't know if I want to speak to him. Thanks for your videos
Update:
My ex wants to meet for the first time after she broke up with me. She says there's a lot to talk about so I doubt it’s a “get back together situation which I wish it was” And I'm nervous as to what I should do or act.
Back story it's been 2 weeks since the break up and she's reached out a couple of times since, some days she says she will always love me but we aren't good for each other (I feel like we could have worked through anything if she allowed it) and she's also messaged me stating that she loves me but goes and blocks me and unblocks me and watching my stories etc. I can tell she is still upset if I'm not giving her full attention now.
What should I do? I'm nervous and don't know what to expect being that it seems like it’s going to be a serious conversation. I do want to be with her but some things will need to be fixed on both sides if we did workout. Her planned exit showed me a person I wouldn't want to be with. I just don’t know what to do or if I should even meet up especially being that it seems to be a serious convo and not a get back together convo. Looking for advice.
If y'all can get on the path of healthy communication, it might be worth fighting for and saving. Only if you both can agree. If not, I would move on from her.
Look, the person that break up most of the time don’t need that closure conversation. So you have two options here: she’s missing you and trying to get your attention or she really wants to have this conversation. Take this opportunity to restart communication, start talking again, falling in love but only if you see commitment and she doesn’t start to play games (ghosting, block-unblock you, etc).
I seriously need help my support system has basically made me look and feel stupid about being hurt over the situation. I’m stuck in my own head and they are not helping. It’s been 5 days no contact and it’s really not like her to contact anyone first
I dumped my ex and went no contact ,he reached out first just to say how he sees what kind of person I really Im and how much I didnt care..main lesson still missing,learned nothing about equal give and take ,still has the audacity to complain why I dumped him instead of raising up and evaluating with maturity taking accountability..so I realized I have been expecting something from someone who doesnt have it in them to give,they have no tools to offer that..and its not like I didnt see it ,I saw those red flags but gave him beneffit of the doubt ..sometimes wishful thinking can fool us when we already knew deep down .Good luck everyone!
I don't know anything about your relationship, but it looks to me like you wanted a mind reader, or someone who knew exactly what you were thinking about without you probably expressing it. Unfortunately that is a superpower that human beings are just not equipped with. The disappointment in you after realizing that this individual is not going to behave in the manner you were expecting is appalling. It speaks to the level of conceit that women have today. Stop expecting so much from people who are not perfect.
@@nightrider85 Very well spoken bro! I was just thinking this reading her comment.
I need help, struggling with no contact.
I am too. I’ve told myself I may contact him by Tuesday. I’m too old for this bs.
Thanks for your content, I wish I understood this earlier.
Question. I’m being sent good tiktoks saying she got hope in us. We rushed it. Thinks we were meant to be. This is bread crumbs. I was thinking of the next time she reaches out and it’s a good one I tell her to stop unless she means it and proves it and don’t contact me unless it’s something significant. If she sends a negative one I will just leave it on read. What should I do?
My ex effectively told me he didn’t want the same things as me and wouldn’t work on things or change. I moved out and it’s been about a month. I asked for no contact but they checked in a week later about rent, and again about separating things like taxes (common law to single), phone plans etc. I felt ignoring those messages weren’t cool but at the same time he was asserting his urgency to detach so quickly. 12 year relationship so it felt very cold & indifferent. Different to the affectionate person I knew.
Basically I have texted back to confirm rent payment and whatnot but Im wondering did I do no-contact right or do I straight ignore his messages? What’s your professional read and input. Much appreciated ❤
Only time you should stay in contact with a ex is if yall have kids other then that ghost em
Thank you coach I enjoyed the video I watch your videos and I tell you so far you make sense in all the videos
I stay in no contact 👍
9th day no contact and I am dying inside
Stay strong, i was in a relationship with the love of my life for 3 years and iam in NC for 2 months now build good habits and eliminate bad habits thats the best advice i can give you for now!
We never broke up officially i just told her im not dealing with certain things and she not acting right so I just told her im done and it’s been two days
Thanks a lot Coach. You are very right and helpful 🙏
Thanks bro I needed that readjustment 💪🏻
My ex comes and she goes back while deceiving that she's coming back,but she doesn't completely settle.what can I do
I understand what nc is for. Moving forward, fixing myself etc.
What about apologizing bc I neglected her
P.S. I like to hope that what I did is fixable. I didn’t sleep with anyone. Nor talked to any girl.
Excellent content...balance..
Great advice. Thank you 🙏
Thank youuuuu this video was so needed
I left him and walked away for good bc I got tired of stagnation and disappointed...Smh
On point 🎯🙏🏼
my ex broke up with me four times and i keep wanting to come back to him
She hasn't contacted me for 9 days and went on a date with someone then unlocked after posting about her dating game being over. What the hell do i do
Never, what if u f go And things happen. We been alive in paradise .5 to5 months . She has more guys . Sounds rewarding.,love always
Is something so soothing about listening to you especially that other music that be behind you it's some kind of meditation music or whatever it is it sounds so good it just goes with your hole way! I don't ever want to see my ex again he has stayed away too long without contacting me and no kind of way, so whoever he's got I hope you keep her and whoever else he get cuz I'm most definitely have better coming my way when I'm ready I like listening to you though 😅
What if she the one who broke it off and she blocked me what do I do then it's been a week now and I truly realize where I went wrong if I can't contact her cuz of being blocked what do I do then
Mr. Coach Black I have a question for you.
Concerning my Ex if a rebound is no comparison to you. Than why do yr Ex block-you to protect the rebound feeling over yours even with the history younhave with her ? The new rebound Don t have that history with her or memory so please anwser that one !
Because they're cowards. It's just easier for them to move on and start new with the Rebound and pretend they did nothing wrong.
What if your ex continues to contact me and come over the house with my daughter unannounced. I try to go NC and heal but she continues to text me when I stop text. NC does work but it hard to heal when they keep coming around. Any advice coach BLK.?????
What if i was the one who messed up?
Hey coach, thanks for all your knowledge and help. I am very anxious, when I began to feel a bit detached, my ex reach out for my birthday 11 months into the break up saying she knows that I dont want to communicate but that she wanted to let me know shewas ready to exchange if and when I would want to. I answered thank you, you can talk to me if you want to, I would probably be available. Then nothing more since 4 months... Should, could I reach out for her own birthday and try to know what she meant/wanted with that "exchange offer"? Did I screw up with my answer? I am so afraid that was my only opportunity.
Similar boat here. She reached out and I just responded by saying yes. Thinking maybe she thinks I was rejecting her.
Be honest. Has she actually came back.
What if trust was broken. She dumped me and blocked me immediately after the break up phone call. I took accountability and have been doing a ton of therapy and even became sober during the relationship. But what if they don’t trust you? Will she ever reach out
I'm in this situation but she stuck around for a couple of months after the break up even meeting me etc talking most days then she slowly got more and more distant and kept flaking on me when i asked for us to communicate on where we was going with us she ignored and would dissappear for a few days then come bk as nothing had happened eventually i got tired of this and have been in no contact for nearly 3 weeks she was 15 years younger than me and very immature i just wanted to know where i stood i guess i made my own mind up hopefully she will figure it out and come to her senses in her own time if not I guess the no contact will b permanently as hard as that is to accept
Love this!!!!
Thank you my friend!
Pls I need an advice, my husband has break the no contact, he started reaching out first, send me money for me and the kids to go out start complimenting me, he start talking about the future again with no apology. Now what should I do, I want him to apologize and and talk about d past . Should I break the no contact?????
I blocked him for first time after broke up 2 months ago and he literally wrote me the same day I blocked him asking me why I did that. I’m sure he will contact me again, should I answer him and give him explanation or what? I want him to come back that’s why I blocked him, I want him to feel my absence and that he is losing me… 🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
Damn this is a hard one, our relationship ended so abruptly that I didn’t get a chance to say everything I wanted to say. Been almost 3 weeks, she reached out to me once but that’s it. Thinking of texting her something like “Instead of being satisfied with how happy you made me because honestly you made it really happy I should have been more focused on figuring out ways to add more value to your life” or something cute like that. What y’all think??
Bro i wouldnt do that..apply no contact.
@@cinemaabroad I started NC immediately after breaking up with me. My fear is her thinking I never cared. She hasn’t received a single “miss you” text from me or anything... but yeah I’m fighting to not reach out but guess I’ll continue NC.
@@fiercemillionaireproject3824 look bro its hard.i actually messed up and facetimed her no answer and texted her saying I hope everything is ok and that she is enjoying life..and no answer that was last night..shes clearly indifferent towards me.but if you must text her just do it once and then you have that burden off your chest because you at leasr reached out
@@cinemaabroad we got this bro. I'm sorry to hear that, how long has it been again? So I acquired a decent rebound during NC and I'm good friends with one of my EXs good friends... Is it a good idea to flaunt my rebound here and there? Broken up for 3 weeks. To be clear I'm in love with my EX and want her back but could I get away with posting my rebound on a few Snapchat stories. I know it'll get back to her.
@@fiercemillionaireproject3824 she dumped me 2 weeks ago.the heartbreak stage was horrible..this week I went through the realization stage that she aint coming back.but i wouldn't post your new chick..its only been 3 weeks for you.she could still come back.right now she is mad and sad but if you do that she really wont come back to you..give it some time.this is the hardest stage where theres still a possibility but you'll learn as time goes on that she is indifferent towards you and you'll realize and then acceptance stage is next and thats also a f*cked up stage to be in
what if my ex broke NC already after 1.5 months , but then dissapeared . Is this considered NC again?
I would like to talk to you about my situation. I'm in no contact at the moment and I believe it's working.
Well put
What if your the one who messed it up and deserved to get broken up with its been 8 weeks been giving them space
What if I did the brake up and did it by text?
Then you have to reach out, you dumped your partner. You left, not them (could be for good reasons, yet the ball is in your court)
If we ended things on a”good terms but she still blocked me. Should I let her contact me first?
Day 37 no NC
What about for an ex with dissmissive avoidant style. I saw a few videos, that the changes of getting back, is sending them a msg first after 6 weeks. Cause of their fears of rejection? Or do you recommend also no contact first and wait for them, even if that means it will never happen?
Please answer me this I left him as he wasn’t meeting me as from different cities but I did loads for him financially but had to make him learn it’s been 10 weeks you think be will come back ????
I left my ex and I regret it I send her an apology letter but she said we not going back should I do no contact or since I left her I keep trying ?