@Rockyworld444 yep. Until you feel deflated and as a result they feel elated. If you stay elated they will hide and sulk and try and minimise your elated mood so it doesn't piss them off further
Everything is a question? Why are you sad? Why didn't you do what I said? Why don't you listen to me? His "favorite" aunt who he confided in told me he said he "luuuvvvs fuc##in with " you. So I need to remember that all the time but he blocked me again so I'm not sure he'll be back. He's going to school and has new things to do and has met new people and he's not telling me much. He has dropped a few female names but i really think he's full of crap about a lot of what he says. He lies all the time. He constantly tries to get me jealous and knows what buttons to push to get me upset and give him that over the top reaction which he laughs at routinely. He makes fun of me and knows how to hurt me. He told me he doesn't love me so why tf do I still want him. I'm horribly sad and all I want is to be loved😢.I'm lost.
@@pamkay1756 The only question you need to ask yourself is why do you seek love from someone who hates you. These people are not capable of love. It's a waste of time and energy. Can you do this for the rest of your life? At what cost?
I need help please I married him 90 days ago and he immediately changed all the sweet emails texts and plans for the future stopped and he started bringing up things from 4 years ago. I beg and cry and he "gives me another chance" and in a couple days he does it again usually after he asks for money and I send it
That works for a short time but once they realize that that button doesn't work when they push it, they begin to try new stuff. They never just stop. They try new more creative ways to get you worked up. It is crazy. I wouldn't believe it of I didn't experience it firsthand.
I've been dealing with this type of situation for a long time now and it's really disheartening to think that this could possibly be never ending ...more so because we share a child 😞 may God continue giving me the strength i need to keep maintaining my ground and persevere 🙏
This strategy has worked for me, but they try new ways to piss the person off.. My mother never gives up creating chaos. It's crazy stuff. Stay strong.
The problem is once you’ve emotionally reacted to them long enough, they’ll keep upping the ante once you stop reacting… I know mine never gave up no matter how long I went without reacting. I knew jack about narcissism when I was with my ex-husband years ago. And I thought it was weird that the healthier I became emotionally the crazier he acted. I came to realize that he wanted fights or tears. And with a cold shoulder he wanted to make me suffer. Absolutely ridiculous that I stayed so long.
The ex was criticizing me saying I didn’t have humor, that I was always criticizing everyone, giving unwanted advice to my friend etc… So in May he ghosts me for 8 days.. 15 days prior to our wedding. He comes back and we talked it out… bla bla bla.. The last weekend of May I was outside and he comes over and starts criticizing his mother and I looked at him.., kept looking at him wondering if he would notice the look that said “who is criticizing now”.. so I said “I am not saying anything “.. looked at him deep in his eyes…the look on his face was priceless. I said “you hate me don’t you”… I laughed and turned around and left him standing. On Tuesday he started a fight… big drama, he walked out and didn’t come back. Two months later I moved away and disappeared out of his life., I haven’t seen or heard of him. He doesn’t know where I live. It didn’t even hurt., The smear campaign… I grew so strong it did nothing to me but that’s only bc I saw the red flags from a previous relationship coming out and I knew what I had to do
I believe who ever is suffering from the hands of a narcissist needs to he very careful about this. Once you stop reacting to their abuse and they realise it they will find other way and sometimes they even become more dangerous. My ex assaulted me with a knife the moment he realised i stopped reacting to his attacks. Be very careful
They humiliate you, shame you, target you, in attempt to control you and get everyone against you. While they accuse you of their traitorous actions and behaviours and traits. Then feed of off your energy to try and exhaust you and exploit you further into your doom. Never let that happen. Anyone who humiliates, shames or belittles you is threatened by your light and doesn’t want to see you succeed.
Wow! Thank you for your words!!! I thought he/this was DEMONIC! And it is…I keep trying to talk to him about JESUS! He will not do it! Demons they are! Trying to steal my light??? No No! Glory to God! Always
@@ameliac504not to mention.. it's also kinda sad... imagine how they must feel on the inside if this is how they treat people... I more pity them than anything
When I did exately that I was punished by a narcissist with double dose of toxic poison coz he couldn't get any reaction from me so I don't think it always works They want your undivided attention and patience giving narcissistic abuse in return They want to make you feel vulnerable and down,having a low self esteem most of the time and ridicule you after that for being miserable or not enjoying your life They full of contradictions and it's all about winning with them but in the end they're the ones who are loosers !
Exactly. When you understand that whatever they say or do is to get an emotional reaction from you, it means when you understand the way they function and operate, and when you understand their game, then and only then you manage to detach, keep your emotions under controll, show total lack of any emotional reaction 🤷 then you show you are in power 🤷👍😉
This is absolutely true I just tried this the other day and showed no emotion and ignored him. This fool went crazy for hours, screaming to get my attention pushing the bed and grabbing the pillows. I found the secret Kryptonite
I don't know if I am Replying the right way here..My sister the narc lost her sanity the other day. It was beyond shocking to me and went on for quite a while. Oh God, it was so awful. But then, she never had "sanity" to begin with, did she? I am thinking she might not know there is something very seriously wrong with her. She was Raving and Screaming, like you see maybe in movies or on TV. This went went on for quite a while. I just sat there in shock. (This was on the phone). I am really afraid of her now. I couldn't bear enduring that again. I am all alone here, which makes this even more scary. I may again have to delete this Comment, too. I did that before...
Very similar to women with borderline personality disorder. They’re always taking note of what upsets you and they are holding that information for future use. Most of the time it’s only spent studying your reactions and making notes of them to use against you in the future
My narc ex was raised by a mother with BPD. He and his 6 yr old daughter now live with her. I wonder how his daughter will turn out but I'm not stupid enough to think I can fix that train wreck. The NPD behavior you describe is spot on.
Right. Don’t react whatsoever; walk away and go no contact. Shedding them and all of their toxic mannerisms is the only way. If you run into them, ignore them and walk away.
Easier said than done. My soon to be ex husband would escalate his behaviour until he GOT the reaction. He got himself hospitalised twice, once for an overdose/suicide attempt, and once because he was "scared for his safety." One time he demanded my money while verbally berating and attacking me. When i calmly gave him the money, he escalated. Continuing to verbally berate me, he went to take my college work computer. This act got the rise he was looking for and he ended up raising his fist to my face and pushing my adult son into the wall, making a hole, when he tried to protect me. I resorted to calling the police because he wouldn't leave. He escalated that shit so hard that i refuse to go back. But staying calm and self-contained only made him worse 😬 its not safe no matter what you do sometimes. Be careful and get out when you can. Stay safe ❤
One day I decided to wear ear buds to tune my mom out. She came in the room and took the bus out just because she wasn’t getting supply. She was used to marking me react with her craziness. It’s scared the shit out of me.
You have to train your emotions to go emotionally neutral with them: gray rock. It took me about 2 years of incremental gray rocking, very carefully to shut down emotional supply. He finally left.
Thank you for reminding me! This is so important. They come to elicit and feed. Cut off the supply and they will go look somewhere else for awhile. But, they will be back to try again and again looking to feed. They are emotional energy vampires.
Best way is to leave and stay away. Including mentally. It's the easiest (often not easy!) and definitely the most effective. They will do whatever needed to keep you interacting. Quit.
Dealing with a NARCISSISTIC PARENT/GUARDIAN has got to be the worst of them all! As a child is most helpless and vulnerable in that case... Prescription: INTENSIVE THERAPY and or SEPARATION!
I watched him smirk when he saw me sad when he threatened to leave me. When I stopped reacting he got upset and started accusing me of men. Even when he physically abused me he got offon it. Day #1im free
He was laughing at anything I said. I finally saw it and said you are not worth it. Whatever outcome may happen. I am not doing it anymore. He was acting like a child. It was... shocking
Once you interract with narc, in his head he has power after you no matter what, even if you walk away he will continue to interract with you ( snapshot of you in his head) without your presence needed. Realising that is important to start healing. And we have a word to describe this ( take your peace back) addmit you lost in a game you cant access, take your peace back and let the poisoned peace to the narc(cut the loss). This is half victory and the only victory you can have at that point.
Thank you for the reminder. Sometimes I have let the situation control me. A month later I will see what supply they were after. And I once again ALLOWED IT!!! I can do this. ❤
This guy is wonderful to listen to. It has helped me to understand and deal with my narcissist sister. I have cut her off bout 6 times already and it makes me feel so free. . .
Thank you Danish. Yapping is a problem. Trauma can make it difficult to stop. I do yoga now and it helps. Just a little bit. The impulse to talk has been greatly reduced. It's worth it. We just can't sit and listen, we must do. Wonderful podcast.
Yeah... it's up to us to control, that's why they seem to pick people with low emotional regulation like with add, me... I swear, this is really hard, but I've been winning a few.
it gets easier with time and practise. I pray and ask God to help me. he'll help me in the moment - 'don't answer, don't say anything'. I still get it wrong but nowhere near as often. make sure you have some kind of outlet though or it'll get bottled up inside. I'm sorry you have to go through this 💕💕
They will sit like puppets if you don't respond zero. It will take time but if you master this technique they can't get anything from you and become zero
I learned to do this within my toxic family. Avoidant Attachment Style was a necessary protection I used at home. I am glad I was able to use this judiciously and didn’t develop the full disorder version.
❤ I might put one disclaimer on that comment to "stop making comments". I do respond, but not emotionally. I also respond in writing with logic and evidence of their lies and manipulation to EXPOSE them and then I copy a whole lot of people with my response. A narcissist hates being exposed.
Good advice I myself experienced abuse from my ex narc she expected me to come out of my frame, I remained calm asked her to sit down & talk about it, I then experienced narcissistic rage as a result.
Yes, it is difficult, but only way is to come to a place where you are confident that your reality, your thoughts, and your feelings are independent of them. When they deny reality, it’s still reality and you shouldn’t question yourself. That’s only way to overcome the gaslighting. Distance, distance, distance… there’s no possibility of true intimacy in a narcissistic relationship… opening up to a narcissist is like when the frog let the scorpion on his back. It will sting you every time because that’s what they do. When I stopped reacting, my husband’s rages just got worse, like he was trying so much harder to get a reaction.
For the last 4-6 weeks I've been gray rocking him? Takes practice! 100% zombie from me. Today he's hinted he's moving out. It was all i could do not to cartwheel through the living room 🤸🏼♂️🤸♀️ Texted my girlfriend from the bathroom... IT WORKED! I may not have to sell my house to get rid of him!!!!
Thank you so much for clarifying this! A month ago, not even long ago I broke up with my narcissist partner, he is harassing me still and won't stop. Everyhting you said in this video is 1000% accurate. He calls me the most vile disgusting names now that we've broken up it's even worse. He's obsessed with the thought of cheating which he accuses me of 24/7. Within the past week or two I had thankfully came to terms and really opened my eyes . Just as you said! When you stop taking their insults personal and realise it's not you it makes a whole difference. I blamed myself for so long and now I realise that I was right and it's not me who is the bad person. A month of two I didn't feel this way but I am so grateful for waking up however now he is spamming me (186 unread messages ,60+ missed calls and insult after insult. He is losing his mind!!!
@@JudySterling Definitely been trying, though it gets tough every now and again 😌❤ Thank you very much hun, I do appreciate that, that's very kind of you to say❤ I'd definitely hope that he doesn't put someone else through it, the worst cause to a migraine as well🙄 but sadly it's a high chance 😔 Hope you are keeping safe, healthy & well anyhow hun ❤ ❤
BINGO! I never heard this said before. Exactly what I did have done last 2 years. I have better life I am still with him we are not married but I choose to stay for now.
Narc dad just walked in and I caught him off guard and said, DAMN you sho is UGLY!! .. He froze in his tracks about to bash me and I swear he shrank and shut his open mouth and retracted his pointing finger, forgot his thought and smiled then walked away!! Wtf!!!
No contact for 4 months now. One unfortunate, but pleasant, brush with his new supply who couldn't have known me. I kept close my emotions. He can't have known. I don't feel like I have won. I crashed and burned but he doesn't know. He has a single proprietor business with a revolving door of women all day. He is a beautiful man. And, oh so charming. Somehow I'm off target here.
I asked my mother if she was waiting for a show... and she was, just wanting a show from my pain no empathy. Dont react just walk away and meditate you are not a real person to them just a puppet show.Enjoy walking away
Once I stopped emotionally reacting, he became physically abusive. I have lived in a shelter once and he has been to jail recently. He is currently in a batterer intervention program and living away from home. I worry he is manipulating his way through the program to fulfill the terms of his bond. I have an escape plan for if he hasn’t changed when he comes home this summer…
Thanks sir 6 months ago I started this painful yet liberating path to recovery today I can say that i reached indifference thanks a lot 🙏 jai shani dev jai jagannath 🙏
This is what I done today ignored the emotional abuse even when I was told to s××t my wrists and that our son hates me. I know this is his way of trying to manipulate our child and he didn't get the reaction he wanted. I also listened to your advice and documented conversation. Thank you Danish.
It sounds good but being married to a covert narcissist for a quarter century will change you and its hard to bring my old self back. It lasts a long time and hard to get out of the hole. 😢
How?I'm trying so hard to break away from a narcisist I have been reacting too for 10 years.1 daughter 7yr old. How to not react? He's so mean amd I'm so sensitiv/
I've decide that being stoical is my best way of navigating through. It's so hard because I've isolated myself after reacting very badly to their insideous ways
His mom said that all the time. She knew before I even came around. She said he don’t listen to me and I’m his mommy. Basically saying so who tf are you❤ she said either buckle down and put on your big girl panties or walk away. She said that’s why she left his father. God rest his soul.
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Your emotions are their supply
@Rockyworld444 yep. Until you feel deflated and as a result they feel elated. If you stay elated they will hide and sulk and try and minimise your elated mood so it doesn't piss them off further
Everything is a question? Why are you sad? Why didn't you do what I said? Why don't you listen to me? His "favorite" aunt who he confided in told me he said he "luuuvvvs fuc##in with " you. So I need to remember that all the time but he blocked me again so I'm not sure he'll be back. He's going to school and has new things to do and has met new people and he's not telling me much. He has dropped a few female names but i really think he's full of crap about a lot of what he says. He lies all the time. He constantly tries to get me jealous and knows what buttons to push to get me upset and give him that over the top reaction which he laughs at routinely. He makes fun of me and knows how to hurt me. He told me he doesn't love me so why tf do I still want him. I'm horribly sad and all I want is to be loved😢.I'm lost.
@@pamkay1756 The only question you need to ask yourself is why do you seek love from someone who hates you. These people are not capable of love. It's a waste of time and energy. Can you do this for the rest of your life? At what cost?
@@pamkay1756 I feel your pain. I'm in a similar situation. Could you cope alone?
I need help please I married him 90 days ago and he immediately changed all the sweet emails texts and plans for the future stopped and he started bringing up things from 4 years ago. I beg and cry and he "gives me another chance" and in a couple days he does it again usually after he asks for money and I send it
That works for a short time but once they realize that that button doesn't work when they push it, they begin to try new stuff. They never just stop. They try new more creative ways to get you worked up. It is crazy. I wouldn't believe it of I didn't experience it firsthand.
I've been dealing with this type of situation for a long time now and it's really disheartening to think that this could possibly be never ending ...more so because we share a child 😞 may God continue giving me the strength i need to keep maintaining my ground and persevere 🙏
Yup
It's disgusting! Vomit!
@@Chachis420is this person your ex? If they are do not engage.
This strategy has worked for me, but they try new ways to piss the person off.. My mother never gives up creating chaos. It's crazy stuff. Stay strong.
No second chance for people. One is enough. Don’t save your relationship. Distance or Disregard or Move on ❤
When you ignore them and dont react they come after you with hate, they will make your life triple difficult.
The problem is once you’ve emotionally reacted to them long enough, they’ll keep upping the ante once you stop reacting… I know mine never gave up no matter how long I went without reacting. I knew jack about narcissism when I was with my ex-husband years ago. And I thought it was weird that the healthier I became emotionally the crazier he acted. I came to realize that he wanted fights or tears. And with a cold shoulder he wanted to make me suffer. Absolutely ridiculous that I stayed so long.
I seriously need counseling for narc abuse. I can't believe how much they have destroyed me...
The ex was criticizing me saying I didn’t have humor, that I was always criticizing everyone, giving unwanted advice to my friend etc…
So in May he ghosts me for 8 days.. 15 days prior to our wedding.
He comes back and we talked it out… bla bla bla..
The last weekend of May I was outside and he comes over and starts criticizing his mother and I looked at him.., kept looking at him wondering if he would notice the look that said “who is criticizing now”..
so I said “I am not saying anything “.. looked at him deep in his eyes…the look on his face was priceless.
I said “you hate me don’t you”… I laughed and turned around and left him standing.
On Tuesday he started a fight… big drama, he walked out and didn’t come back.
Two months later I moved away and disappeared out of his life.,
I haven’t seen or heard of him. He doesn’t know where I live.
It didn’t even hurt.,
The smear campaign…
I grew so strong it did nothing to me but that’s only bc I saw the red flags from a previous relationship coming out and I knew what I had to do
YOU EXPLAIN THIS SO ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL!!!!!!!.
I believe who ever is suffering from the hands of a narcissist needs to he very careful about this. Once you stop reacting to their abuse and they realise it they will find other way and sometimes they even become more dangerous. My ex assaulted me with a knife the moment he realised i stopped reacting to his attacks. Be very careful
They humiliate you, shame you, target you, in attempt to control you and get everyone against you. While they accuse you of their traitorous actions and behaviours and traits. Then feed of off your energy to try and exhaust you and exploit you further into your doom. Never let that happen. Anyone who humiliates, shames or belittles you is threatened by your light and doesn’t want to see you succeed.
Wow! Thank you for your words!!! I thought he/this was DEMONIC! And it is…I keep trying to talk to him about JESUS! He will not do it! Demons they are! Trying to steal my light??? No No! Glory to God! Always
They are insane
@@ameliac504not to mention.. it's also kinda sad... imagine how they must feel on the inside if this is how they treat people... I more pity them than anything
It’s so hard they know exactly how to get you
They want an emotional reaction so they can use it against you and further destruct you into experiencing more harm and suffering.
THIS!!!
The power of indifference or apathy is mandatory when dealing with a NARC!
When I did exately that I was punished by a narcissist with double dose of toxic poison coz he couldn't get any reaction from me so I don't think it always works They want your undivided attention and patience giving narcissistic abuse in return They want to make you feel vulnerable and down,having a low self esteem most of the time and ridicule you after that for being miserable or not enjoying your life They full of contradictions and it's all about winning with them but in the end they're the ones who are loosers !
Leaving them and going no contact is what drives them crazy 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Hope so.
Exactly. When you understand that whatever they say or do is to get an emotional reaction from you, it means when you understand the way they function and operate, and when you understand their game, then and only then you manage to detach, keep your emotions under controll, show total lack of any emotional reaction 🤷 then you show you are in power 🤷👍😉
Amen! Thank you
This is absolutely true I just tried this the other day and showed no emotion and ignored him. This fool went crazy for hours, screaming to get my attention pushing the bed and grabbing the pillows. I found the secret Kryptonite
I don't know if I am Replying the right way here..My sister the narc lost her sanity the other day. It was beyond shocking to me and went on for quite a while. Oh God, it was so awful. But then, she never had "sanity" to begin with, did she? I am thinking she might not know there is something very seriously wrong with her. She was Raving and Screaming, like you see maybe in movies or on TV. This went went on for quite a while. I just sat there in shock. (This was on the phone). I am really afraid of her now. I couldn't bear enduring that again. I am all alone here, which makes this even more scary. I may again have to delete this Comment, too. I did that before...
They try to push your buttons but If you don't react they become zero. Difficult but with experience and knowledge it becomes easy
Very similar to women with borderline personality disorder. They’re always taking note of what upsets you and they are holding that information for future use. Most of the time it’s only spent studying your reactions and making notes of them to use against you in the future
My narc ex was raised by a mother with BPD. He and his 6 yr old daughter now live with her. I wonder how his daughter will turn out but I'm not stupid enough to think I can fix that train wreck. The NPD behavior you describe is spot on.
It took me a long time to learn this, but as soon as I did, I regained my power...my self.
Right. Don’t react whatsoever; walk away and go no contact. Shedding them and all of their toxic mannerisms is the only way. If you run into them, ignore them and walk away.
It’s true. I remember when I stopped reacting. They literally went crazy and started throwing things at me. They wanted me to be sad and angry.
Same here. Banging doors and everything 😂😂😂
Like a 2 year old
Accurate 😂😂😂
Yes i boring so I ignore and he broken things or door😂I roll eyes
Easier said than done.
My soon to be ex husband would escalate his behaviour until he GOT the reaction.
He got himself hospitalised twice, once for an overdose/suicide attempt, and once because he was "scared for his safety."
One time he demanded my money while verbally berating and attacking me.
When i calmly gave him the money, he escalated. Continuing to verbally berate me, he went to take my college work computer.
This act got the rise he was looking for and he ended up raising his fist to my face and pushing my adult son into the wall, making a hole, when he tried to protect me.
I resorted to calling the police because he wouldn't leave.
He escalated that shit so hard that i refuse to go back. But staying calm and self-contained only made him worse 😬 its not safe no matter what you do sometimes.
Be careful and get out when you can. Stay safe ❤
One day I decided to wear ear buds to tune my mom out. She came in the room and took the bus out just because she wasn’t getting supply. She was used to marking me react with her craziness. It’s scared the shit out of me.
Oh man. To hear someone speak my truth..
I've learned NOT TO CRY.... SUPPLY ENDED...
You have to train your emotions to go emotionally neutral with them: gray rock. It took me about 2 years of incremental gray rocking, very carefully to shut down emotional supply. He finally left.
I have actual palm sized gray rocks all over my house.
@@arashigumdrop GREAT reminder!
She never had power over me this why she would go crazy screaming an yelling
Thank you for reminding me! This is so important. They come to elicit and feed. Cut off the supply and they will go look somewhere else for awhile. But, they will be back to try again and again looking to feed. They are emotional energy vampires.
The Bible has the Wisdom needed to deal with them....Peace Be Still....God is Peace, and being Silent/Still emotionally.....Narcissist loose.
Best way is to leave and stay away. Including mentally. It's the easiest (often not easy!) and definitely the most effective. They will do whatever needed to keep you interacting. Quit.
Your words are so reassuring. Especially after what I've been through
Dealing with a NARCISSISTIC PARENT/GUARDIAN has got to be the worst of them all! As a child is most helpless and vulnerable in that case... Prescription: INTENSIVE THERAPY and or SEPARATION!
What if the child is one though
So awful for children.
When you consciously stop reacting, you will actually see their mask falling off.
Ive done this and its amazing to see
@@africacareythey're want make you hurt more😢😂
I never gave him a chance to even go there He told me I act and fight like a man.I told him someone has to be .
😂 my Narc accused me of acting just like my mother. I shot back with- that’s because you act just like my father!’😅
I watched him smirk when he saw me sad when he threatened to leave me. When I stopped reacting he got upset and started accusing me of men. Even when he physically abused me he got offon it. Day #1im free
He knows when to attack, after I wake up or before I fall asleep, those are my weak states.
Just leave them . Why alter a good person to adapt when u can leave then in evil and misery
He was laughing at anything I said. I finally saw it and said you are not worth it. Whatever outcome may happen. I am not doing it anymore. He was acting like a child. It was... shocking
You're amazing. My wife has messed with my head for so long that I'm losing myself.
Thank you!
So true. I am looking forward to avoiding my entire Narcissist family this holiday. They will know nothing about me any more.
Amen to that!
They have already destroyed me.
Give power❤❤❤
Once you interract with narc, in his head he has power after you no matter what, even if you walk away he will continue to interract with you ( snapshot of you in his head) without your presence needed. Realising that is important to start healing. And we have a word to describe this ( take your peace back) addmit you lost in a game you cant access, take your peace back and let the poisoned peace to the narc(cut the loss). This is half victory and the only victory you can have at that point.
I just got tired of trying to make a point that fell upon deaf ears so I just stopped talking altogether.
I just did this very same thing
Már èn is belefáradtam a beszèdbe,elhallgattam inkább,nincs èrtelme a beszèdnek.
Not safe if they are abusive
Thank you for the reminder. Sometimes I have let the situation control me. A month later I will see what supply they were after. And I once again ALLOWED IT!!!
I can do this. ❤
Thank you for this video those person's are full of evil to put others through hell
You are awesome, thank you for validating all the hell I went through.
This guy is wonderful to listen to. It has helped me to understand and deal with my narcissist sister. I have cut her off bout 6 times already and it makes me feel so free. . .
I prefer to terrify narcissists. They always flee, and I save precious weeks or months that they'll spend trying to tear down my passive resistance.
Stone walling 💯 it works I did it and I am 3 plus years Narc free and thriving than ever before 😊
Thank you Danish. Yapping is a problem. Trauma can make it difficult to stop. I do yoga now and it helps. Just a little bit. The impulse to talk has been greatly reduced. It's worth it. We just can't sit and listen, we must do. Wonderful podcast.
Shutting off my Empath valve. Got it in my brain now doing it
Dark Empath destroy Narcissist 😂
Once you stop reacting they punish you in other ways.. silent treatments.. it kills your soul
Thank you 🙏🏽
Yeah... it's up to us to control, that's why they seem to pick people with low emotional regulation like with add, me... I swear, this is really hard, but I've been winning a few.
it gets easier with time and practise. I pray and ask God to help me. he'll help me in the moment - 'don't answer, don't say anything'. I still get it wrong but nowhere near as often.
make sure you have some kind of outlet though or it'll get bottled up inside. I'm sorry you have to go through this 💕💕
Easy control mood😂They know who sensitive or empathy 😢
I stopped reacting and it got worse. Not sure what to do
If you start reacting again it will not improve.
You’re important to our understanding and help
You're describing word to word how my sister and aunt are as a tag team. It's so weird!
Your reaction is what keeps them going! That is why they do what they do.
They will sit like puppets if you don't respond zero. It will take time but if you master this technique they can't get anything from you and become zero
I learned to do this within my toxic family. Avoidant Attachment Style was a necessary protection I used at home.
I am glad I was able to use this judiciously and didn’t develop the full disorder version.
The day before yesterday, I actually did this, and he threw a fit, because he couldn't make me angry or cry!
❤ I might put one disclaimer on that comment to "stop making comments". I do respond, but not emotionally. I also respond in writing with logic and evidence of their lies and manipulation to EXPOSE them and then I copy a whole lot of people with my response. A narcissist hates being exposed.
Submit to God, resist the devil and he will flee from you
Good advice I myself experienced abuse from my ex narc she expected me to come out of my frame, I remained calm asked her to sit down & talk about it, I then experienced narcissistic rage as a result.
Thank you.
Yes, it is difficult, but only way is to come to a place where you are confident that your reality, your thoughts, and your feelings are independent of them. When they deny reality, it’s still reality and you shouldn’t question yourself. That’s only way to overcome the gaslighting. Distance, distance, distance… there’s no possibility of true intimacy in a narcissistic relationship… opening up to a narcissist is like when the frog let the scorpion on his back. It will sting you every time because that’s what they do.
When I stopped reacting, my husband’s rages just got worse, like he was trying so much harder to get a reaction.
It is very difficult to live with them i have lived for 32 years at last he died
For the last 4-6 weeks I've been gray rocking him? Takes practice!
100% zombie from me.
Today he's hinted he's moving out.
It was all i could do not to cartwheel through the living room 🤸🏼♂️🤸♀️
Texted my girlfriend from the bathroom... IT WORKED!
I may not have to sell my house to get rid of him!!!!
It was all I could do in the car real through the living room… hilarious!!!😅
It was all I could do to NOT cartwheel thru the house! HILARIOUS!!! 🤣🤣🤣
Good luck!!!
I love this one 🎯💯
Thank you so much for clarifying this!
A month ago, not even long ago I broke up with my narcissist partner, he is harassing me still and won't stop.
Everyhting you said in this video is 1000% accurate. He calls me the most vile disgusting names now that we've broken up it's even worse. He's obsessed with the thought of cheating which he accuses me of 24/7. Within the past week or two I had thankfully came to terms and really opened my eyes . Just as you said! When you stop taking their insults personal and realise it's not you it makes a whole difference. I blamed myself for so long and now I realise that I was right and it's not me who is the bad person. A month of two I didn't feel this way but I am so grateful for waking up however now he is spamming me (186 unread messages ,60+ missed calls and insult after insult. He is losing his mind!!!
Stay strong! Eventually he'll find a new victim.
@@JudySterling Definitely been trying, though it gets tough every now and again 😌❤
Thank you very much hun, I do appreciate that, that's very kind of you to say❤
I'd definitely hope that he doesn't put someone else through it, the worst cause to a migraine as well🙄 but sadly it's a high chance 😔
Hope you are keeping safe, healthy & well anyhow hun ❤ ❤
BINGO! I never heard this said before. Exactly what I did have done last 2 years. I have better life I am still with him we are not married but I choose to stay for now.
Unfortunately reigning curses to a narc makes me feel better
True I have one that trys every thing she can do to destroy me I'm learning to control myself and not react 💯
I also have a sister I'm dealing with who is trying to destroy me, so it's nice to know I'm not alone in this craziness.
How? I go from 0 to 100 instantly
It’s also very damaging to suppress feelings write it and throw it in the bin
Awesome advise!!!
Ok ! He can die in front of me but I lost 2 houses through my divorce through theft!!!!!!!!!! I would like to have my money back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Perfect as usual! you are straight to the point! Love your videos!
Narc dad just walked in and I caught him off guard and said, DAMN you sho is UGLY!! .. He froze in his tracks about to bash me and I swear he shrank and shut his open mouth and retracted his pointing finger, forgot his thought and smiled then walked away!! Wtf!!!
No contact for 4 months now. One unfortunate, but pleasant, brush with his new supply who couldn't have known me. I kept close my emotions. He can't have known. I don't feel like I have won. I crashed and burned but he doesn't know. He has a single proprietor business with a revolving door of women all day. He is a beautiful man. And, oh so charming. Somehow I'm off target here.
When YOU are ready move on...Not backwards...😉
I asked my mother if she was waiting for a show... and she was, just wanting a show from my pain no empathy. Dont react just walk away and meditate you are not a real person to them just a puppet show.Enjoy walking away
Once I stopped emotionally reacting, he became physically abusive. I have lived in a shelter once and he has been to jail recently. He is currently in a batterer intervention program and living away from home. I worry he is manipulating his way through the program to fulfill the terms of his bond. I have an escape plan for if he hasn’t changed when he comes home this summer…
Thanks sir 6 months ago I started this painful yet liberating path to recovery today I can say that i reached indifference thanks a lot 🙏 jai shani dev jai jagannath 🙏
This is what I done today ignored the emotional abuse even when I was told to s××t my wrists and that our son hates me. I know this is his way of trying to manipulate our child and he didn't get the reaction he wanted. I also listened to your advice and documented conversation.
Thank you Danish.
It sounds good but being married to a covert narcissist for a quarter century will change you and its hard to bring my old self back. It lasts a long time and hard to get out of the hole. 😢
Not true. They never give up no matter how many times i don’t react.
They must hate the song " sound of silence " 😂😂😂
Their demons are irritated by our light
Very true. Learn to detach yourself emotionally. It works. 👍🕊️
I didn't realize it at the time!! I did all of that there at the end!!
Well I’m THAT case ….
I am *very* excited to NOT REACT 🥳
How?I'm trying so hard to break away from a narcisist I have been reacting too for 10 years.1 daughter 7yr old. How to not react? He's so mean amd I'm so sensitiv/
I've decide that being stoical is my best way of navigating through. It's so hard because I've isolated myself after reacting very badly to their insideous ways
Modern day vampires
What about the silent treatment?
So true but so much easier than done when they push and push… one person can only take so much
Yes, like a kid who gets told no when they ask for candy.
Think of it as a boomerang coming back to them, if you don't react.
@@loekiekanters4295love this statement
Don't know how to....
Ok but how do i stop reacting… i CANT just shut off my emotions. WHAT NOW 😮💨
Don't interes,let it be,know and understand follow your mood,ues time with passion or hobby,make thing you happy.Don't feel anything.
So how to control my reaction? It is like I have no breaks. I go from 0 to 100 instantly
Clam and quite,ignore,not interest,focus thing make happy
Not only narcissists… manipulators
GO SILENT
His mom said that all the time. She knew before I even came around. She said he don’t listen to me and I’m his mommy. Basically saying so who tf are you❤ she said either buckle down and put on your big girl panties or walk away. She said that’s why she left his father. God rest his soul.