8 Plans That Went to Hell Before They Even Got Started - Spit Take Theater

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 พ.ค. 2014
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ความคิดเห็น • 321

  • @mureithikivuti
    @mureithikivuti 7 ปีที่แล้ว +85

    Love the bride that takes down the other woman throwing pie on her face. That's a protector. Aint no one ever going to mess with their family and live to tell the tale

    • @summerstar143
      @summerstar143 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Mureithi Kivuti that's actually a really good point

    • @hapichampagne5916
      @hapichampagne5916 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Facts she was like instantly like “oh hell no! You are not about to fuck my shit up”

  • @LoganWH8
    @LoganWH8 7 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    Hey, if my crime buddy got ejected from a window in less than a quarter of a minute, I'd be getting the hell out of there too. For that to happen that fast he must be like captain America or something.

  • @admiralpercy
    @admiralpercy 10 ปีที่แล้ว +88

    HINT: don't make a molotov cocktail with a plastic bottle.

    • @MeetDannyWilson
      @MeetDannyWilson 9 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      Use glass bottles - it helps the environment.

    • @admiralpercy
      @admiralpercy 9 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Mach Tony The More You Know!

    • @balzirus
      @balzirus 9 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Admiral Percy Well he didn't know it's was gonna be on fire!! on fire

    • @admiralpercy
      @admiralpercy 9 ปีที่แล้ว

      balzirus what?

    • @balzirus
      @balzirus 9 ปีที่แล้ว

      Admiral Percy about 1:54 into the video one of my favorite parts

  • @xxxKIDPWNxxx
    @xxxKIDPWNxxx 10 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    That guy that got thrown out had the quickest recovery time i've ever seen!!!!!!!!

    • @shadowman4963
      @shadowman4963 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      The store owner was on his way out and the robber didn't want to see what his second move was gonna be.

  • @rcamp0s
    @rcamp0s 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    "DJ Jazzy Jeff right the f*ck outta there" hahaha most appropriate line of the year hahaha

  • @donharry20
    @donharry20 7 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    hahahahah...."playing a game of catch with failure.." LOL

  • @drakkenmensch
    @drakkenmensch 7 ปีที่แล้ว +59

    The arsonist has an even bigger fail that happened during the planning stage before he even reached the scene of the crime: picking a bottle that wouldn't shatter on impact.

    • @buca117
      @buca117 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Most bottles don't just shatter on impact. You have to really motivate them, and that guy didn't seem to have any motivation to spare.

    • @xXcyanidesprinklesXx
      @xXcyanidesprinklesXx 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      he didn't even have enough motivation for himself, it seems. it looked to have run out by the third throw attempt.

    • @pryingeyes1551
      @pryingeyes1551 7 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Might have been plastic. I'm from Portland, and know firsthand,...Anarchists can't plan for shit.

    • @pixelmongaming9285
      @pixelmongaming9285 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yeah

    • @raptorjesus3894
      @raptorjesus3894 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Well duh, Planning=Not Anarchy, Not Planning=Anarchy.

  • @fistoffries
    @fistoffries 10 ปีที่แล้ว +171

    I would like to see who threw that guy out of the store.

    • @smcneal057
      @smcneal057 10 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      I wonder if it was Mr. T?

    • @PMW3
      @PMW3 10 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      it was the Dovahkiin, fucker got Fus Ro Dah'ed

    • @Doctor-nk8eu
      @Doctor-nk8eu 10 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      I'm 100% sure it was Mr. Miyagi

    • @SuperDizzy12
      @SuperDizzy12 10 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      Didn't you hear the man? Clearly it was Uncle Phil.

    • @CrashCraftLabs
      @CrashCraftLabs 10 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      prolly some 90 year old lady, for the last one that is

  • @BettyBonkers
    @BettyBonkers 8 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    that bride was having none of it. #runupgetdunup

  • @garysanchez3155
    @garysanchez3155 7 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Looking back spit take was about three years ahead on the music trends

  • @jsuza1381
    @jsuza1381 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I have no idea why something as wittily put together as this gets less than a million hits while someone facilitating a bowel movement with the soothing sounds of Marvin Gaye scores large.

  • @pryingeyes1551
    @pryingeyes1551 7 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    If you don't want to tip off your victim while robbing a store, that something out of the ordinary is going to happen, maybe don't walk up smoking.

  • @612Tiberius
    @612Tiberius 9 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    That guy needs to go to Bar-tending school and learn how to properly make (and "serve") a Molotov cocktail.

  • @Midnyte_Angel
    @Midnyte_Angel 8 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    "The one store that hired dirty Harry to man the til" it was so funny I watched that part 3 times

  • @sudocatsda1guy390
    @sudocatsda1guy390 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Guy pulls a gun. Clerck tries to grab it, guy pulls the gun behind his back. Simplicity of that move is genious - make the robber go from attac to protec on instinct.

  • @HunterRodrigez
    @HunterRodrigez 10 ปีที่แล้ว +47

    i subscribed ages ago and i want... no actually i DEMAND the romance novel reading

    • @doopydarp1027
      @doopydarp1027 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      It’s been six years... WHERE IS IT!?

    • @HunterRodrigez
      @HunterRodrigez 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@doopydarp1027 I mean... Cracked went belly up like 2 years ago...

  • @13gothMoth
    @13gothMoth 9 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Well, #4 honestly wasn't as bad as I was expecting. When he mentioned Girls Gone Wild, there was a second where I was scared that girl was going to expose herself in front of a bunch of kids or something.

  • @CarrotSlat
    @CarrotSlat 7 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    That's why the molotov's wick should be soaked in lamp oil or something wind resistant. Also, you gotta chuck the shit out of it to break the bottle.

  • @RabblesTheBinx
    @RabblesTheBinx 8 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    I subscribed. I demand that Soren read me a romance novel!

  • @Angellaisab
    @Angellaisab 9 ปีที่แล้ว

    Wow! The chart about weeding planing with "Coup d'état Time"
    LMFAO!!!!
    😂😂😂

  • @waldog550
    @waldog550 9 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    This reminded me of the epic scene in WKRP In Cincinnati where Les Nessman mispronounced Chii Chii Rodwaqueeze. It's been years since I thought of that scene.

    • @charlesajones77
      @charlesajones77 9 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Waldog Oh man, that was the first thing I thought of too.

  • @nataliaromanova6535
    @nataliaromanova6535 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    That last clip with the dude getting tossed out like Wile E Coyote though.....LMAO!

  • @Icarus2377
    @Icarus2377 10 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    I need MOAR Soren erotica!!

  • @CjqNslXUcM
    @CjqNslXUcM 10 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    looks like i found my replacement for =3. Great job, Cracked!

    • @TheSweetestCurse
      @TheSweetestCurse 10 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Ew, don't compare this to RWJ

    • @CjqNslXUcM
      @CjqNslXUcM 10 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      TheSweetestCurse why wouldnt i?

    • @katanamaker
      @katanamaker 10 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      HAL 9000 are you fucking serious? He's a giant ass hat who amassed a huge following of plebs (thanks Google) and isn't even funny. This shit is just as bad.

    • @CjqNslXUcM
      @CjqNslXUcM 10 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      katanamaker i found it mildly amusing. i mean the jokes were pretty much on the "hurr-peenis"-niveau, but you watched it because of the stupid internet videos and not the hosts boring jokes. what, in your opinion, is more entertaining on youtube?

    • @ryanmalm2356
      @ryanmalm2356 10 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Wow guys jeez cut him some slack, poor dude just found out about Cracked. Ya gotta let him go through =3 withdrawal while administering small doses of Cracked.coms brilliant humor.

  • @TheSuperOscarShow
    @TheSuperOscarShow 10 ปีที่แล้ว +110

    Hm..... that's weird, I watched this twice and I can't seem to find the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie anywhere on this list.....

    • @HufflepuffShortie
      @HufflepuffShortie 10 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I was seriously frightened by how they looked in the trailer.

    • @TheSuperOscarShow
      @TheSuperOscarShow 10 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      HufflepuffShortie
      I know...... in the night, I feel their icy, pizza hungry turtle stares on my back....

    • @HufflepuffShortie
      @HufflepuffShortie 10 ปีที่แล้ว

      No one is safe... from their so-unlike-teenage-build-bodies-they-look-like-shrek

    • @TheSuperOscarShow
      @TheSuperOscarShow 10 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      HufflepuffShortie
      So, by that logic "Leonardo is love. Michelangelo is life."

    • @Beas7ie
      @Beas7ie 10 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      HufflepuffShortie I knew the entire movie was gonna be a shit fest the moment I heard that megan fox was cast as April.

  • @dylanvickers7953
    @dylanvickers7953 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    This episode of cracked got me into A$AP Rocky, thank you cracked.

  • @bennyrodriguez8788
    @bennyrodriguez8788 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This guys are genius.
    Bravo! BRAVO! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

  • @idris09
    @idris09 9 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This was great. Twins! I LOL'd.

  • @qwertyzxcvbn3174
    @qwertyzxcvbn3174 8 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Fire music and a hilarious video. Great video all around

  • @DarthSironos
    @DarthSironos 9 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    0:50 I think it's a good thing they stopped the camera, for the pie throwing woman probably didn't get out of without being horribly maimed by the bride.
    Which is probably a good thing, cause if your idea of fun is to throw a pie in the face of a woman on her wedding day, you should probably apply to a mental institution.
    Hope you learned your lesson kids, if you throw the face of a bride a pie, you die. Don't mess with women on their wedding day.

  • @djsyntic
    @djsyntic 10 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    So I watched it to the end, and I have to ask... why does Soren's face look like someone hit his face with a board? I can only imagine that he got in a fight and the person he was battling realized how boned he was, and tried to even the odds with that board. I further imagine that other than that one lucky hit to the face this guy was promptly shown that there is no such thing as a even fight with Soren.

    • @The_Fat_Turtle
      @The_Fat_Turtle 9 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Might have also been shortly after he wiped out on his face and ended up in the hospital. He was doing something dumb, I don't remember exactly what, but he wrote an article basically making fun of himself for the whole thing. Didn't do too much damage, but might explain why his face appears roughed up to some people.

  • @benbrown1431
    @benbrown1431 9 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    you shouldn't try and rob jackie chans store thats like robber 101

  • @medic8377
    @medic8377 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    You have to arrange the guests like you're playing chess against the inevitable laws of entropy and alcoholism. OMG! HAHAHA!!!

  • @ElleKelsheimer
    @ElleKelsheimer 8 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    You think Cracked has a stash of non-attractive comedy writers they don't let on screen? I feel like their ratio of cuties-to-regular-internet-writers is off.

  • @jonathanmedina5189
    @jonathanmedina5189 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    the are you okay girl got me laughing so hard

  • @annme_87
    @annme_87 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I already miss Soren so much. Jack too, but he never offered to read me a romance novel so a bit less.

  • @garfgif
    @garfgif 8 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Near where I live, the post office was being robbed and the dude who owned it pinned him down and his wife beat the robber up with a baseball bat.

  • @frzr5359
    @frzr5359 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I keep getting the ask google ad and it's driving me insane

  • @tyboar
    @tyboar 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    Love your attitude and dry wit. Fantastic.

  • @SYKRAL1
    @SYKRAL1 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    For the second to last one, I remember seeing a vid of a cashier grabbing the barrel of an automatic and ripping it out of the robber's hands

  • @TReam92
    @TReam92 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    damn it I already subscribed where is the rest of that novel Soren?!? and do some more after hours please! lmao but thank you I love cracked youtube!

  • @FishTheJim
    @FishTheJim 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Already subscribed and still getting Sorenerotica.

  • @Gnug215
    @Gnug215 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    I SUBSCRIBED! I WANT THE WHOLE PACKAGE, SOREN!
    I demand more Sorotica nauuuww!!!!

  • @thefreindlywolf
    @thefreindlywolf 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    I really miss these videos with the awesome hip hop song selections

  • @chriswatkins8711
    @chriswatkins8711 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Oh my God he said the body was still bouncing when his partner drove off.
    lmao lol I'm dying here

  • @BigCowProductions
    @BigCowProductions 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    I subscribed. Where's my reading of the book, Soren?!
    lol

  • @ladonnabrock8613
    @ladonnabrock8613 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    That was hilarious! I bout peed on myself laughing. The little guy made it even funnier. Whatever his name is.

  • @learrus
    @learrus 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    If "All of World War I" isn't on this list, I will be disappointed by Crack's lack of historical perspective.

  • @DChuck
    @DChuck 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Before the video I got a very inaccurate ad for League of Legends. It actually showed players enjoying themselves.

  • @SherrBabe
    @SherrBabe 8 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I subscribed. Where's my Soren??

  • @shaydorahl6740
    @shaydorahl6740 9 ปีที่แล้ว

    1:12 50 points to Griffindor!
    DUDE you are awesome XD.

  • @zee30000
    @zee30000 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    I love the wedding ones lol.

  • @NotThatGuy_YepThatGuy
    @NotThatGuy_YepThatGuy 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks Jack. Good times. And future good luck to you.

  • @pazarni
    @pazarni 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    Love the Survivor clip
    (If you ever want to watch some of the countries smartest people fail miserably, watch the "Brain" tribe from this season of Survivor (only Spencer and Tasha seem to have brains...))

  • @misaelvillatoro6121
    @misaelvillatoro6121 ปีที่แล้ว

    Playing a game of catch with failure!! Amazing!

  • @marcieortiz
    @marcieortiz 8 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    ahahahahaha thrown out the fuckin window...that was a good one

  • @annav5171
    @annav5171 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Awesome!!!

  • @Digmer
    @Digmer 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    the guy from number two is my new hero. no doutb, on da face!!!

  • @chrisbuccos6201
    @chrisbuccos6201 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Jack you're fucking hilarious: DJ Jazzy Jeff right the fuck outta there!! Indeed.... LOLOLOLOL
    I know this vid is old, but I've been binge-watching the shit outta Cracked...........................

  • @keokapowell
    @keokapowell 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I fucking love cracked

  • @kitty4502
    @kitty4502 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    Those wedding photos were scary!

  • @GHZoner
    @GHZoner 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    Been a while since I laughed enough to cry.

  • @oliversacco7320
    @oliversacco7320 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I really like Jack but OMG i would never let him pick my music

  • @samanthatroi85
    @samanthatroi85 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    best credits scene ever!

  • @SavageShooter93
    @SavageShooter93 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    holy crap that guy got launched through that window!

  • @cmgri496
    @cmgri496 9 ปีที่แล้ว

    last clip made me cry

  • @jake08111991
    @jake08111991 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    good work guys where do you find this stuff? and holy shit that nut shot

  • @JLConawayII
    @JLConawayII 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    That's a great sweater.

  • @Luciferian.Latino
    @Luciferian.Latino 10 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I subbed, never got my .flac reading of Passion Untamed (by Pamela Palmer) Soren is supposed to supply us with. What's going on, Cracked?

  • @Themingemoblie
    @Themingemoblie 10 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Saw this a month ago on the website. Suddenly convinced me to get into A$AP.
    THANKS CRACKED/OBAMA

    • @shalom5130
      @shalom5130 10 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I was thinking abut starting to listening to him now

  • @idontlikerome2744
    @idontlikerome2744 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    The last one was in my city XD simply the best

  • @mogetfog
    @mogetfog 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    I DEMAND MORE SORENRATICA!!!!

  • @allorgansnobody
    @allorgansnobody 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    Plot Twist: The "molotov cocktail" is a beer

  • @laidylegs9637
    @laidylegs9637 8 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    "For the vine?" Wow. I wonder if, after she finished playing the bongos on her kidneys, the bride made that woman pay for all of the makeup, lace, silk, chiffon, and professional photographer time she wasted? I mean...that's a TON of money....
    Also: response video to your employee quitting? DOUCHETACULAR. Really, really douchey. Just. Terrible.

  • @abbagaelwhite8518
    @abbagaelwhite8518 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    A r e y o u o k a y

  • @Hybridtheory32
    @Hybridtheory32 8 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    I guess there's your example of good people having guns

    • @rainbowslushy223
      @rainbowslushy223 8 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      +Hybridtheory32 if america didn't sell guns to everybody then people wouldn't need guns...... but yeah i guess its good he had a gun to stop someone else with a gun...

    • @mlwy_1137
      @mlwy_1137 8 ปีที่แล้ว

      +RaF KiNs don't you dare

    • @MrGunar22
      @MrGunar22 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      +RaF KiNs The people that really want guns are going to get them anyways. Just like cocaine, heroin, whatever. It all gets in, you just need to figure out how to find it. Knowing this, its better to sell guns to everyone, rather than letting the few devoted have free reign over American citizens until law enforcement steps in.

    • @randomleagueoflegendsthres1034
      @randomleagueoflegendsthres1034 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      RaF KiNs YEAH! And if they didn't sell alcohol then no one would drink and drive! And now that they're legalizing marijuana, it's going to be everywhere! It wasn't before.... Man, I can't say any more. I feel like an idiot

  • @moonlightnight101
    @moonlightnight101 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Hey Jack O'Brian where did you get that sweater, it's really nice and I think my boyfriend would love it!

  • @stylez914
    @stylez914 9 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Ok I subbed now where is Soren reading Passion Untamed for us??

    • @robertmiles3951
      @robertmiles3951 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      +stylez914 I'VE BEEN ASKING THAT FOR WEEKS. I NEED TO SEE THE REST OF THAT VIDEO.

  • @NobleOfBirth
    @NobleOfBirth 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    That jumper is cool as. Anyone know where he got it?

  • @ZaGoudou
    @ZaGoudou 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    Number 4 was dope

  • @darkartsdabbler2407
    @darkartsdabbler2407 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    First time I see someone thrown through a window in real life and I never get to see the man responsible

  • @jenniferstine8567
    @jenniferstine8567 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    Did the old man who was hit in the balls say he forgot he had something there? Unless a guy doesn't have a pair, NO HE'S NOT OKAY!

  • @igorkarsanov2374
    @igorkarsanov2374 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    i couldn't breathe by #6

  • @haku653
    @haku653 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    noice choice of song

  • @clammer23
    @clammer23 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    I need the link to the last fail of the guy getting thrown out of the little corner store that he tried to rob. That's awesome but I can't seem to find it.
    Anyone? Bueller?

  • @lukemacfee3491
    @lukemacfee3491 9 ปีที่แล้ว

    So, where do I get that sweater?

  • @mznaeture
    @mznaeture 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Dude's body really WAS still bouncing when his homey pulled TF OFF 😆 omg that was terrible 😅 karma stewww

  • @olivapope9617
    @olivapope9617 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    1:03 actually made me spit take...

  • @BasedGarlicMan
    @BasedGarlicMan 10 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    This is like =3 but not shity

    • @Zadamanim
      @Zadamanim 9 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      This is like if =3 didn't rely on racist humor and the word dildo.

  • @markmedina4327
    @markmedina4327 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    I would buy a series of Soren's books, legit, and keep a few in plastic wrap ;)

  • @Dubs_Checkem
    @Dubs_Checkem 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    Man look how far Ray William Johnson has fallen.

  • @_Charlotte_L42
    @_Charlotte_L42 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    Still waiting for that package, Soren.

  • @aromaladyellie
    @aromaladyellie 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    That girl who fucked with the wedding for a vine doesn't even look like she belongs there- girl is wearing shorts, flip-flops, and a tank top. Even my most tomboyish friend wasn't that casual at her wedding with the guests. So was she just like, a stranger who saw a wedding going on and was like "Yeah, I'll fuck up this stranger's day because the Internet will think I'm cute and funny!"
    That shaving cream on a Solo plate had to run the bride's hair, makeup, and dress. But like, what was with the reactions of the groom and photographer?

  • @imtalkingtoyou1841
    @imtalkingtoyou1841 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    I got a pretty good kick out of that dj jazzy Jeff joke.

  • @chaz1357
    @chaz1357 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    If I were the clerk the first thing I'd do is rob the robber. Think about it. You just are going to get away with it and it's instant karma.

  • @taqu
    @taqu 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    The girl who threw the pie in the bride's face... I mean, how SELFISH do you have to be to do that? That moment was important for the bride (and groom, of course), not to mention expensive and labor-intensive, and you ruined it "for the Vine". You don't even have to like weddings or believe in the "perfect day" (I certainly don't) to realize how utterly self-centered that is.

  • @XxheymoonxX
    @XxheymoonxX 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    SOMETHING BLACK AND BLUE IMMFUCKING DONE

  • @iksarmada7197
    @iksarmada7197 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    Hmmmmmm...What if...we put a pie on a drone and have that drone hit the target...just a thought.

  • @ImpecuniousMax
    @ImpecuniousMax 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    Foam on a plate does not a pie make (as the traditional saying goes)

  • @profoundobserver2533
    @profoundobserver2533 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    spit my coffee