Hey y'all! Trying a few different cuts and styles, especially a new direction on the introduction! Did y'all like this faster paced style? For the full stream, check out: th-cam.com/video/BSrymhSn6I8/w-d-xo.html
For me the cuts feels rushed. Your message's come across better when you take a break after and let sink in for a moment instead of moving quickly to the next one. These fast cuts are not for me but I'm a millennial and not one of the youngsters
For me i think i like it more that way because it feels more fluid and alive and you always can just stop the video if you didn't catch something@@mikepeterse3792
This really hit different when he explained that constantly relying on willpower is like fighting a war you'll eventually lose. The pen exercise at the end blew my mind - the idea that doing something completely "worthless" can actually help break the chains of always needing a reason or reward to act. Been struggling with motivation and this made me realize I've been looking at it backwards - instead of trying to force myself to "want" the right things, I need to learn to act regardless of what I want. 🤯
@@saii221I think the diference is with willpower you overcome your wants, with Dr K technique you reduce your wants so you can actually start to choose your actions rationally. But I might be worng
This is eye opening. I've never thought of doing things for the sake of it is a form of training. I overcame my clinical depression by sheer willpower and a grueling 10-year fight. I thought I'm eternally burnt out by those fights. And due to my Chinese lineage and my family education, I'm a very "only do things that matters" guy, and I find life meaningless during depression and sometimes now. I feel life is full of friction now because not many things matters now, I lost 10 years of my life when it's the most golden times. I pretty much don't have a 20s. I fell asleep at 20 and woke up 30. Hopefully this can get me to start living again.
Have to be careful about the language too. When you use the word “training” you put outcomes and expectations back on the table. It’s not a form of training, it’s legit just a waste of time and energy. If you treat it as training then it’s not gonna work. Or if you want it to work then it’s not gonna work. Truly sorry if this comes out as discouragement, 100% didn’t mean to. ❤
Your 20s are not your golden years, trust me. I also feel like in many ways I lost mine. Life only gets better the more you master yourself. Grieve your 20s if you need to, but trust this is only the beginning. It may just be hard to see at this point.
This guy is so acurate that is scary. This year I tried to focus on my studies like, every single month. But I always succed on the first days and fail the rest of the month.
Insane. It seems I unconsciously did that 'removing accomplishment' thing in my gym activity. Like, I always wanted to be big and strong, but as a 50 kg fragile-built girl the highest point I can ever achieve after years of hard work and consistency is a level of a regular man who never entered gym. I came to conclusion that I always will be weak and inferior so I lifted weights without any goals or expectations, just cuz body feels nice and mind is clear. After this video I remembered I can bench press 95% of my bodyweight lmao. At the beginning even an empty bar was heavy. I think If I was driven by willpower or motivation or any other similar substance I would just give up really quickly.
yoooo you’re so real!! i’m also a 50kg girl and once i realized i can’t change my body overnight i kinda started to work out because it just feels nicer in my body when i do compared to when i don’t. as the result i built a strong habit of working out or doing some activities, and even after big break i know that i will come back to the training eventually
As a girl I have the opposite, I gave up on being skinny, I tried to lose weight for years and never manage to stay in my deficit, no matter how much cardio I do, I can’t stick to my diet. I have all the stress side effects, just without seeing any results. I am not fat but my natural hunger and cravings just are on the higher end
but doing it because it feels fine seems like using the dopamine system, and feeling a clear mind its exactly the opposite of something worthless. in my case I'm block in both directions I workout with will power because its actually disgusting for me, I really hate the sensation of it. I end up totally drained, exhausted and almost so angry That I just dont wanna see or talk to anyone... so what do I gain? my hope to become stronger (I actually improve my weights quite quickly) but then I reach this plateu that separ ates average kinda strong people from actual athletes, and being unable to get to the other end, just makes me throw everything and just quit, cause in the end I didn't actually gain anything that feels like a win for me... So here I am enduring this horrible "healthy" activity, to get to a place where I cant actually get with out special food/supplements or at least dedicating my whole life decisions to that... Dam sorry for the Venting. But Im just exhausted and burned out.... 2024 has been one of my greatest years in my 38 years of life. And yet I feel like I got no reason to be happy (even where THERE ARE CLEARLY a lot of blesssings)
@@zeratul600 i understand what you mean under “it feels fine seems like using the dopamine system”, but may i assure you that it actually not the case, at least for me. it feels fine physically - i feel nice when i hang on a bar, i feel nice when i do yoga practices, i feel nice when i work out. there’s just something in the process for me, i like to dive into the perception of my body (oh i’m not sure if it is a thing ahahah), to let go all of my thoughts and just be in the moment for thirty-forty minutes as i’m working out also i’m not a professional athlete, i’m really weak now because i had a bad anemia last year and i just lost all of my muscle power (literally, i couldn’t squat 10 times in a row without hurting the very next day like i was beaten in my legs by huge guys). regaining it with the accomplishment in the mind would be really difficult, and i had to develop a different mindset to actually regain some of my muscles i know it can be frustrating when you face a plateau and can’t make progress, and i hope you’ll find your way to where you want to be :)
Work smarter, not harder. Architect your life so that good behaviors are effortless when possible. Don't brute force your way through life with willpower, sprinkle it in at crucial moments. It's a finite resource, spend it wisely. Don't rely on "wanting" to do the right things or to "find motivation", this is just another form of being at the whim of your desires. Instead, Push yourself to do the things where you find resistance, and Hold back in the work that you are naturally motivated 🤯 Divorce your behaviors from your desires. Overcome desire, gain control over yourself. It is hard but it's worth it. Thank you Dr. K for the life changing content as always ♥
Willpower is such a rollercoaster. I’ve been taking a few steps forward, then many steps back when it comes to staying consistent (and avoiding the devils lettuce). Just yesterday, I woke up feeling like I wanted to do absolutely nothing spent the day smoking, watching Netflix, and ended it with an unhealthy meal. I felt so guilty about wasting the day, skipping the gym, and not working on my goals. I even had anxiety at night, thinking about how I’d messed up my progress by not staying consistent. But today, I woke up, followed my morning routine, hit the gym, had a healthy lunch, watched this instead of doom scrolling and I feel amazing for not wasting precious time smoking. I used to love being in that numb state because it helped me escape my thoughts, but now I realize how much I love myself sober being productive, clear-minded, and making healthier decisions. It’s a battle, but moments like today remind me that it’s worth fighting for😅
@aminaa1720 Congrats and Keep fighting! I'm on the same path. I have a 5-day streak going and I love how present and productive I am. My dealer lives next door, so I battle daily not to hit him up. That feeling at the end of a productive day vs being numb is priceless. I know I'm just some random guy on the internet, but I'm proud of you. I know how easy it is to fail one day and then that day turns into 3 months of numb binge smoking. Stay strong! 💪🏾
Coming across your channel has been such a game changer, from starting out with seeing you on Diary of a CEO. I've been applying your advice and I am reaping the rewards. I especially like your teaching on getting good at doing nothing, cognitive reframing and how to make the most out of our dopamine. As someone who was diagnosed with ADHD in my adult life, learning that my body does not produce enough dopamine explains why i'd lack pleasure and motivation in doing tasks and procastinating. I feel that applying those principles are giving me the turnaround that I need to live a fulfilled life especially going through cycles of MDD. I am yet to go through your other videos as I'm sure I'll come across other trinkets of wisdom that I can apply to my life.
Wow listening to Dr. K made me realize this is why I still keep up with my weekly dance classes even after 4 years. Most people are in awe when I tell them I do dance classes but I’m kinda like 🤷🏽♂️ about it because it’s so normalized to me, but realizing that I do it for no other reason than cuz I like it & I made a commitment to not quit helped me understand why I’ve stuck to it for so long
I reduced my drinking a few months ago by reducing how much I purchase in one go. I used to buy two-fours and be surprised that I drank too much. Now I just buy a six pack and when that's done, I don't get in the car to get more. Same with snacks: I rarely have snacks in the house, so I rarely eat snacks. Curating availability of vices works wonders.
@@joelcoll4034why not? I believe every bad habit can be worked on through small steps like OP did but it obviously takes some time to figure out what works. what matters ultimately is that OP is trying to take different approaches and they found something that stuck
I just spilled a drink on my carpet on purpose and cleaned it up. I feel the rubber band coming off already. My desires are no more. For real though great content, you're helping so many people including myself. ADHD part of the guide to mental health is also really helping me in my life. Thanks for all your hard work.
This is amazing. As someone with ADHD, there's usually never an actual reward for completing tasks, and I have somehow stumbled my way into the "no desires" mindset by trial and error. If theres little to no feelings of pride and accomplishment for the actions I do, mind as well just do things for the sake of doing it. Otherwise, I won't do anything. And somehow, its given me a sorta passive level of happiness. Guess thats the serotonin doing its job
I completely understand this on another level and up until hearing this video I was unable to identify misuse of “willpower” could be a factor in my low capacity but as I thought about it I realize most things I do in life I literally have to talk my self into starting and as I’m doing it I have to tell myself to continue to do it the whole entire time
This video was exactly what I needed. Today, I was feeling down because I couldn’t bring myself to study programming in my free time after work. I’ve been feeling like I’m becoming complacent in my career. But this video really hit me different. At the end, I even teared up for no apparent reason. What you said made so much sense, and it genuinely brought me peace. Thank you for the incredible work you do.
I do feel like too much emphasis is put on willpower sometimes but I literally stopped smoking and drinking out of sheer willpower lol. No friends, family, or girlfriend helped me.
That is a great thing you achieved. I do not know how exactly you did it but there is always a nuiance in anything we do. Rememner, what we try to conveie is always limited through words😊
I don't understand at all. What is action without motivation? Isn't everything you do motivated by something? Even if it's just survival? It feels like the advice is to stare at a wall all day and everything will be fine or "something cool will happen". I'm not a yogi. I can't just drop everything and do nothing. I wish these videos were longer and had practical advice and thorough explanations.
From what I understand, he's saying you need to remove motivation from action. When, for example you think about going to the gym, you initially dread going because you have negative annotations attached to it therefore you have a desire that pulls you away from the action. So it takes energy for you to hype yourself up and push your negative desires to the side. However, this route to action is not sustainable as it burns you out. But, if you don't have desires that are tied to all your ideas (good or bad), you have control of your mind as you don't submit to any urges. Moreover, if you're in control you think and therefore you act. If you're not in control you think, you battle all these urges that pull you away from the action, then act and then a week later you can't.
@Beatrix346 but what's to say you make the right decisions when you remove motivation and desire? If I have no reason to prioritize going to the gym over playing video games, why would I go to the gym? As soon as I do assign value to the gym, it suddenly becomes desirous. I can see the value of scaling back your emotions and desires, but if you totally remove them you're just a slave to entropy.
You just need to practice meditation. With time and practice it decreases desires and fears and resistance. You need to experience it there is no other way around it.
@@Razgriz02 His advice in this one is for people like me. I have a couple smaller addictions and bad habits. My problem is that I GOT USED TO follow my "want"s and can't do anything without "wanting" to do it. The "I want" has different meanings in my life: I want to play videogames I want to goon for a couple of hours I want to sleep for 12 hours straight "I want" to get ripped and become a chick magnet. "I want" to study so I'll have a good career and get mmmmoney Some "want"s are more common in my ordinary life, day by day. Those wants are stronger too. I ended up doing nothing else but those easy "want"s only. This video and advice shows a way to get around that problem. And gives a PRACTICAL advice for that: A practice! A simple method to get used to do things separately from my "want"s. Like doing something random just for doing something random. This has a neurological effect: It trains my brain to Do Not Stop me from doing things. Because right now my brain Stops me if I don't "want" to do something truly or if I want to do something else. But taking the "want"s from the equation skips that stop mechanism.
You are a saint.. Replace desire and habits with Nishkaam karma Replace emotions (Rag /dwesh) with Nirmamta Replace Ambition with Dharma Atma Gyan leads to Nishkaam Karma, Nirmamta and dharma which leads to freedom (moksh, mukti, enlightenment)
I literally cried to my best friend how I always feel like I am slave of my Desires.... Unable to do anything unless I have the right desire for it. 😇 I swear our world is a simulation because of how accurate your videos encapsulate our problems. But a more plausible thing is.... you, Dr.K, truly understand human nature and how to deal with it. And I am very thankful to you for giving me this video and the super helpful insight with it. (+5 Insight) I will try again to correct my habits of not working out, studying, etc... but with the new knowledge I hopefully will succeed this time. Thank you Dr. K.
Hi Dr. K just two quick questions, So when a human being act, there are five sources: desire, habit, emotion, ambition, and willpower. Then, the technique that Dr. K showed us is to take action from outside of these five sources. Such as when we are taking the pens out of the cup when we don't have the desire, habit, emotion, or ambition to do so. Q1) But when we're doing that, what is the source of that action coming from? Are we using willpower because it's an exercise that Dr. K tells us to practice? Q2) If we trained ourselves to keep doing that, and we gain results from it by gaining control, we can go to the gym when we want to, or study when we want to. What would the source of the actions for these be? Would it be desire? or willpower? Thank you!
I never usually comment, but this is literally mind-blowing!! You explained my main problem and the solution with which I struggled so much in just a short video. The idea that doing something worthless which gives us true freedom is eye opening. Thanks doc.
Okay, this is the best advice I've ever received. I feel like Ive been on this crash and burn roller coaster for 5-6 years. I probably wouldn't have gotten as many successful gym days in if I wasn't an instructor. I working as a nurse by day and a dance instructor by night was wild. I never new how many spoons I had to give until I walked though that door and felt the atmosphers energy pick me up. Thank you!!! ❤
There's a great book that talks exactly about this called "Mindful Self-Discipline" by Giovanni Dienstmann. Highly recommended for anyone struggling with this. Talks a lot about being mindful of your aspirations and desires and not relying purely on willpower for doing things, it was a game changer for me.
If the solution is to try doing things that are completely worthless, don't I need the willpower to persist in doing those worthless things? And isn't the desire to do worthless things a desire in and of itself?
"Desire" refers to wanting to doing something because of dopamine and serotonin. You need less will power when you keep your desires in check. Doing worthless thing should be easy for everyone because it doesn't generate nor requires any kind of desires.
The point is to do it when you want to do something positive - instead of getting a salad or reading go do this. It's using willpower, but it's training you to break desires on an easier stage
I think focus on consistency rather than motivation or willpower, if you don't want to do something, just be there, go there, and the body will follow.
I don’t quite understand this video, but the action I will do is less rely on my positive and negative wants to dictate my actions. Instead I’m going to decide to do things and do them, not care about outcome or consider anything else. In the couple minutes I’ve been doing it it’s worked out so far. I said in my mind I decide to get up out of bed and I instantly got up without feeling anything, now I decide to go upstairs and get my water bottle. Will continue trying it out n see how it works! S/o Dr.K for being a great help over the years
This might sound strange and I can't really explain it. But sometimes as dumb as it sounds making promises to people that mean a lot to you or spirits if you're into that can actually help. I quit cigarettes about 5 years ago. Right now aside from obviously not being able to afford them because who can? One of the few reasons I keep away from lighting one up even when they're almost handed to me is because I've made a promise myself. A simple vowel to my health and that I would put my lifes health first
Things that work half of the time can be devastating because is just enough for some people to not change the strategy for a better one, it looks like it can happen in sports, videogames and relying too much on willpower
1. *Wu Wei* 2. Frankle’s theory of moiovational force - Logos 3. Doing what truly fulfils you is for you, not your ego (ambitions, desires, etc…) The smaller your ego, the easier it is to fill your cup. You are not your “self”, you are much more. Once you transcend your ego, the self no longer exists. So, what truly fulfils you is profoundly selfless, not selfish.
I have been trying to motivate myself to go back to work and get a job, and I built myself a schedule to accomplish this goal. Then by Wednesday, I fell through on that schedule. So ya this video explains a lot. Thank you.
Act on stuff just because. You see, it's always tied to an emotion. Let's say. It's rainy outside, you haven't been out the house because of the weather. Now you think. "Oh, no it's raining outside, (uncomfortable) so i rather stay inside. Now instead of just sitting at home. You say, "i take an umbrella and just go for a walk". Not because it's a desire, but that you know some fresh air and light exercise will do you good. You don't tie it to an effort. You go out with an attitude of just doing it and the emotion of you will feel better. Minimize the effort, see it positive and a lightly attitude of just doing it. Not a task that NEEDS to be done, motivation video to do it, or a goal of accomplishing an amount of steps for the day.
If I completely remove the reward system from different tasks, why would I then choose to do the ones that have a higher mana cost? It seems like there must always be a compass guiding you towards increasing serotonin. idk, it just seems to me that we're still acting on ambition but trying to trick the mind by calling it something else.
I was using my willpower to motivate myself to go to the gym, eat healthy, meditate, but then after two weeks my willpower was worn off and my old habits returned, and I’ve been grieving over that. This video found me at the right moment. Thanks Dr k
I don't understand this video, maybe i misunderstood this. If i drop all my desires and a desire of a "positive" thing that is a result of a certain action, it will make the action easier.. but won't i just do this thing less or even stop doing it? Like as an example: John has a desire to get jacked, so he tries to go to the gym 5 days a week. He struggles with motivation and often chooses to stay home and play video games, so he often skips his workout sessions but he still goes to the gym whenever he gets motivated. Then he finds this video, so he drops his desire of getting jacked. He doesn't care about getting jacked so he rarely ever goes to the gym because there is no point of going to the gym anymore and there is million other things he could do. Looking back he realises that he goes to the gym less times now as he dropped the desire to get jacked compared to when he was relying on his motivation. That's what i imagine would happen to me with the certain activities i do, i just don't understand how after dropping the desire to do a certain thing i will keep on doing that activity without the drive.
well what about the other desires like playing video games? are the negative desire’s changing as well or only the positive? what has John been doing during that time with no desires? is John now free because he doesn’t want anything but still exists and does whatever he’s doing? for me this video was about separating desires from action so that desire isn’t driving, John is. even if John is only putting pens in a cup jhon can decide what to do. like going to the gym but not for the sake of wanting anything from it then jhon has a spurt of old habits, requiring less willpower, less often draining less of his battery leaving more room to grow because he is separated from motivation.
@@greensheep1237 thanks, you made it more clear. I'll need to reflect on this video a lot because it's still hard for my mind to comprehend how i'd be able to do that.
I completed a 5km run and have almost mastered doing the splits. Everyday when I wake up I have no motivation to go to the gym and my brain tells me staying home is best. Yet each day after the gym I feel great and promise myself to go the next day.
@@SpieleSuchti894 i don't think dr k's point was that you need dont willpower, it's that the amount of willpower you need is dependent on how much you desire to do the opposite thing. So say you don't want to go the gym today. If you REALLy don't want to go, you need a ton of willpower to overcome that. As opposed to your desire to not go being a lot less, in this case you need just enough willpower to put your clothes on and get in the car.
hmmm, but I think the whole end goal is to separate what you do (action) from your desire, even if that means skipping out on things that, in this case, would only benefit you momentarily because you can’t stick to these goals because you rely on motivation to dictate action (I’m not trying to hate; I'm just engaging to try and understand more myself). For example, in bodybuilding, macro tracking is good long-term. Logically, tracking your food is important for muscle growth and weight gain. Yada, yada, yada, but in this case, if you’ve had trouble tracking your cals, carbs, fats, and protein (macro tracking) consistently and you only track them when you listen to your seemingly “positive long-term desire towards progress,” you’re still just following desire or motivation; it’s the same as listening to your desire or motivation to skip school and stay in bed in my case. Even though one desire could be positive and the other could be negative, if you follow desire, you won’t be in control, and your actions will be tied to whatever desire you have on the given day.
Good for you. I had successfully exerted my willpower to go to the gym for about half a year, despite feeling not so great after that. But all these millions of gurus can not be wrong! So i ruined both my health and willpower.
"Willpower" as described in this video is something that compels you to a particular action. I would not consider feeling loved to be an action. To experience a particular emotion or view yourself in a new way is a different subject entirely, I would think anyway. That said, I hope things get better for you. Keep your head up. I'm sure Dr. K has other videos more tailored to what you're describing.
So, while I get the logic behind this, recently I had a certain experience regarding an activity I've been (unintentionally) practising this on, namely painting. Internally I was like, I could keep doing this. I could stop doing this. I could never touch the brush again. It really makes no difference to me. Which, I guess, is cool, cause I'm free to choose. But it made me feel so empty. Like there's no passion in what I do, and it feels devalued because of that. I feel a little lost. Maybe the reason is something else and I'm confusing the two, idk.
because the value in never in the things, the value is in yourself. The sun never goes well there in passion in burning today, no the value of sun is in it's nature, it burns because it can, and you have value because you can choose to do (namely painting), and that's your nature.
I think some of us need a part 2 because it's hard to get our head around the whole concept. For example, if you do useless things for the sake of it...Aren't you doing them so that you can control your behavior when you desire something? I find the video interesting but I need some more explanation so that I can fully grasp the whole idea
11:38 omg actually that’s so subtle but so important. There is something there for me: I’ve always been conditioned to be very disciplined as a child and I know many clear walls in my brain that prevent me from doing things like dirty shoes on fabrics because I feel like hard surfaces can just be wiped and thereby completely restored but fabrics like bedding, carpets etc will tend to always keep a bit of the dirt. Anyways. I’ve become better with the idea of doing things that I don’t naturally want to do, but maybe because stuff like that is excreting so much willpower I could derive great benefit acting without having to think so much not because my thinking doesn’t get me anywhere but because that room I could leave myself could be used for other more important things. To not restrict the urge to get up and do a cartwheel or fidget with an object if I felt like it idk
I was having dejavu cause I've already heard this lecture before, multiple times actually cause it's my favourite. Every time I come back to it I understand better than the previous one
I love Dr k, I love his sensitive approach to hard topics. I love his perspective and I love the person I’ve become from his lessons. No teacher has done what Dr k has done for me and I wanted to share my appreciation here
Once you start relying on willpower it will get harder every time. Making small amounts of progress over time is FAR more consistent and a way to basically guarantee success
On the idea of decreasing desires, i'm assuming we are talking about negative desires. Wouldn't that mean that we can also train to increase desire for the things that we actually want to achieve?
I have a question related to the pens in the cup activity. You say that you are removing accomplishment from the action, but in reality are you not trying to accomplish full control of desires? For a moment, the idea of doing something just for the sake of doing it really clicked with me, but then this thought popped out. Any suggestions?
The example with the cup at the end is a training of willpower. You do something that you choose, meaning you can freely decide how much willpower you use and then you do that until you have reached a limit and a little bit more. That is progressive overload for the brain.
This is how i got out of feeling hella depressed for the last few weeks. I just started doing random stuff. Making myself go to coffee shops to work and leave the house. Also removed the desire of a really really comfortable blanket in the winter haha
I tried the dumping of the pens test, but I had a different experience than what you probably intended. Initially I had thoughts of "this is dumb and a waste of time, why am I doing this?" and then as soon as I dumped the pens onto my desk, those went completely away. I picked up the pens and I was done. I continued to do this for a little while, and I noticed that I started having to utilize willpower in order to dump the cup. I kept thinking, "I don't want to dump this cup, I should go to ___ instead," and again the thoughts went away when I actually dumped the cup. What I find interesting is that it is EXACTLY the same feeling I get when I go try and do something I don't want to do, like exercise. My internal desires fight me so hard that I almost feel paralyzed and unable to act until either it gives up or I give up.
yeah i dont really get it because u have to use willpower to do it. I realised when I was doing a similar test that while it initially seemed like I was doing it for the sake of doing it, I am doing it because I want to control my desires which in itself, is a desire. I would have to do this consistently for any effect which would require some level of willpower every day
@@bigman3290 you are right, if your do this test with desire to accomplish XYZ the test has lost purity, but the test was demonstrated to show you the same, that your brain fights so hard for "why's" or "the reasons" that even for something completely useless activity you try find some "want" in order to do it.
The point is to do it when you want to do something positive - instead of getting a salad or reading go do this. It's using willpower, but it's training you to break desires on an easier stage. If you just jump into this its because you WANT to - defeating the purpose
13:10 this example reminds me of somethng Victor Frankly said about some prisioners in the concentration camp when they give up they do literally nothing, not even move to piss in another place. There is a well defined line between those who keep going even though they complaining and thinking about giving up and the ones who actually gave up. I think even saying that you don't want to do nothing is a sign that you still have some desire since you said that to someone.
I think making multiple videos using one topic and varying times in each video just adds to accessibility, the more the marrier when it comes to variation in video length / speed at which a topic is explained.
This is great stuff, but I find it really difficult to take action without motivation. Isn’t the process of building stronger willpower by doing something without motivation itself as a kind of motivation? Sounds paradoxical 😢
The idea of doing a worthless action simply doesn't compute to my brain. It's like I absolutely have to have some greater goal in mind. And what about the fact that I would be doing a worthless action in service of a greater purpose (breaking the link between desire and action if I understand correctly) anyway?
This is the reason I'm stuck, whatever I do I only do it to accomplish something. During my childhood whenever I tried to learn something for the sake of learning my parents would say what's the point of that what will you gain from it.... I was reading a book on karma yoga and this video popped up what a coincidence lol.
Whenever I feel like I'm doing something wrong Dr K's video makes me feel as if that something wrong is more correct than I thought it was. In the end I don't really know why I have so much trouble being a functioning member of society. I guess that doesn't necessarily have to mean that there's something wrong with me.
My question is, when we regulate our willpower, it helps you achieve the result you actually "know" Is right rather than what we actually "want", with this, if I know that I have to resist most of my desires and do the opposite, I might have to increase my willpower, without which, I cannot achieve the result which is good for me. Wouldn't we fail in a matter of just some mere days if we're constantly trying to resist temptation?
Doesn't a ton of this issue stem from the disconnect between the individual and the expectation? In the past society exerted a strong expectation, which gave people a compass even if it wasn't in line with their ambition or desires. That fulfilled the feeling of moving forward and because of closer interhuman interactions this would constantly be reinforced. I'm not suggesting that that is a desired outcome, it restricts the individual greatly and it wouldn't function well these days if applied to entire nations. There still is a point to be made that following these principles in a tight-knit group of people is a hundred times easier than when you're sitting alone at home. The world we created is shaped by ideas of what humans should do/should want to do but it all too often loses sight of how our brains and bodies work in practice.
An object at rest wants to stay at rest, an object in motion wants to stay in motion. We desire doing things as strongly as we desire being lazy and sleeping. You just have to take a second to choose rest or motion every day, and the rest will follow subconsciously.
Reminds me of a story about a group of prisoners who are told to tear down an old house. They’re all sluggish and it’s tedious until they’re told which beams they need to save and they pick up the work right away.
Hey y'all! Trying a few different cuts and styles, especially a new direction on the introduction! Did y'all like this faster paced style? For the full stream, check out: th-cam.com/video/BSrymhSn6I8/w-d-xo.html
Thanks for the clip!
For me the cuts feels rushed. Your message's come across better when you take a break after and let sink in for a moment instead of moving quickly to the next one. These fast cuts are not for me but I'm a millennial and not one of the youngsters
Please fire your editor.
For me i think i like it more that way because it feels more fluid and alive and you always can just stop the video if you didn't catch something@@mikepeterse3792
Separating motivation from action reminds me of that one time Vsauce counted numbers for a really long time.
posted 20 seconds ago clicked immediately. no willpower whatsoever
same same
I made it here at 7 minutes. Your determination was better than mine. Strong traits strong friends
Genius comment lmfao
True😅
We the same person
This really hit different when he explained that constantly relying on willpower is like fighting a war you'll eventually lose. The pen exercise at the end blew my mind - the idea that doing something completely "worthless" can actually help break the chains of always needing a reason or reward to act. Been struggling with motivation and this made me realize I've been looking at it backwards - instead of trying to force myself to "want" the right things, I need to learn to act regardless of what I want. 🤯
"I need to learn to act regardless of what I want." Isn't that what willpower is? I'm honestly confused
@@saii221I think the diference is with willpower you overcome your wants, with Dr K technique you reduce your wants so you can actually start to choose your actions rationally. But I might be worng
@@joelcoll4034 That makes sense actually, thank you!
@@saii221 You need a master.
I've actually been struggling with understanding that as well
This is eye opening. I've never thought of doing things for the sake of it is a form of training.
I overcame my clinical depression by sheer willpower and a grueling 10-year fight. I thought I'm eternally burnt out by those fights.
And due to my Chinese lineage and my family education, I'm a very "only do things that matters" guy, and I find life meaningless during depression and sometimes now. I feel life is full of friction now because not many things matters now, I lost 10 years of my life when it's the most golden times. I pretty much don't have a 20s. I fell asleep at 20 and woke up 30. Hopefully this can get me to start living again.
YOU ARE SO YOUNG. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW YOUNG YOU ARE. LIVE IN THE PRESENT. START DOING WHAT YOU LIKE, TODAY
@nihilisticnirvanaHow? I am trying to engage the "do things" button, but my capacity to imagine a thing to do is all but frayed away.
Have to be careful about the language too. When you use the word “training” you put outcomes and expectations back on the table. It’s not a form of training, it’s legit just a waste of time and energy. If you treat it as training then it’s not gonna work. Or if you want it to work then it’s not gonna work.
Truly sorry if this comes out as discouragement, 100% didn’t mean to. ❤
Habits are the key to all things in life.
Your 20s are not your golden years, trust me. I also feel like in many ways I lost mine. Life only gets better the more you master yourself. Grieve your 20s if you need to, but trust this is only the beginning. It may just be hard to see at this point.
“Willpower works great for a week” - I feel like he has big brother cameras in my house
👀
More like 2 days
He do. You’re phone. But alas…all is well 🙏🏼.
This guy is so acurate that is scary. This year I tried to focus on my studies like, every single month. But I always succed on the first days and fail the rest of the month.
I crave the beets, brother. They are calling for me, I must consume them brother
I crave the beats 🎵
restrain the beets brother
Brother, may I have some beets?
Oats > Beets
@@wltdo6930 that's comparing apples to oranges, i mean, oats to beets
Insane. It seems I unconsciously did that 'removing accomplishment' thing in my gym activity. Like, I always wanted to be big and strong, but as a 50 kg fragile-built girl the highest point I can ever achieve after years of hard work and consistency is a level of a regular man who never entered gym. I came to conclusion that I always will be weak and inferior so I lifted weights without any goals or expectations, just cuz body feels nice and mind is clear. After this video I remembered I can bench press 95% of my bodyweight lmao. At the beginning even an empty bar was heavy.
I think If I was driven by willpower or motivation or any other similar substance I would just give up really quickly.
yoooo you’re so real!! i’m also a 50kg girl and once i realized i can’t change my body overnight i kinda started to work out because it just feels nicer in my body when i do compared to when i don’t. as the result i built a strong habit of working out or doing some activities, and even after big break i know that i will come back to the training eventually
As a girl I have the opposite, I gave up on being skinny, I tried to lose weight for years and never manage to stay in my deficit, no matter how much cardio I do, I can’t stick to my diet. I have all the stress side effects, just without seeing any results.
I am not fat but my natural hunger and cravings just are on the higher end
but doing it because it feels fine seems like using the dopamine system, and feeling a clear mind its exactly the opposite of something worthless. in my case I'm block in both directions I workout with will power because its actually disgusting for me, I really hate the sensation of it. I end up totally drained, exhausted and almost so angry That I just dont wanna see or talk to anyone... so what do I gain? my hope to become stronger (I actually improve my weights quite quickly) but then I reach this plateu that separ
ates average kinda strong people from actual athletes, and being unable to get to the other end, just makes me throw everything and just quit, cause in the end I didn't actually gain anything that feels like a win for me... So here I am enduring this horrible "healthy" activity, to get to a place where I cant actually get with out special food/supplements or at least dedicating my whole life decisions to that... Dam sorry for the Venting. But Im just exhausted and burned out.... 2024 has been one of my greatest years in my 38 years of life. And yet I feel like I got no reason to be happy (even where THERE ARE CLEARLY a lot of blesssings)
damn makes sense, I am excited to implement this mentality
@@zeratul600 i understand what you mean under “it feels fine seems like using the dopamine system”, but may i assure you that it actually not the case, at least for me. it feels fine physically - i feel nice when i hang on a bar, i feel nice when i do yoga practices, i feel nice when i work out. there’s just something in the process for me, i like to dive into the perception of my body (oh i’m not sure if it is a thing ahahah), to let go all of my thoughts and just be in the moment for thirty-forty minutes as i’m working out
also i’m not a professional athlete, i’m really weak now because i had a bad anemia last year and i just lost all of my muscle power (literally, i couldn’t squat 10 times in a row without hurting the very next day like i was beaten in my legs by huge guys). regaining it with the accomplishment in the mind would be really difficult, and i had to develop a different mindset to actually regain some of my muscles
i know it can be frustrating when you face a plateau and can’t make progress, and i hope you’ll find your way to where you want to be :)
Work smarter, not harder. Architect your life so that good behaviors are effortless when possible.
Don't brute force your way through life with willpower, sprinkle it in at crucial moments. It's a finite resource, spend it wisely.
Don't rely on "wanting" to do the right things or to "find motivation", this is just another form of being at the whim of your desires. Instead,
Push yourself to do the things where you find resistance, and
Hold back in the work that you are naturally motivated 🤯
Divorce your behaviors from your desires. Overcome desire, gain control over yourself.
It is hard but it's worth it. Thank you Dr. K for the life changing content as always
♥
Willpower is such a rollercoaster. I’ve been taking a few steps forward, then many steps back when it comes to staying consistent (and avoiding the devils lettuce). Just yesterday, I woke up feeling like I wanted to do absolutely nothing spent the day smoking, watching Netflix, and ended it with an unhealthy meal. I felt so guilty about wasting the day, skipping the gym, and not working on my goals. I even had anxiety at night, thinking about how I’d messed up my progress by not staying consistent.
But today, I woke up, followed my morning routine, hit the gym, had a healthy lunch, watched this instead of doom scrolling and I feel amazing for not wasting precious time smoking. I used to love being in that numb state because it helped me escape my thoughts, but now I realize how much I love myself sober being productive, clear-minded, and making healthier decisions. It’s a battle, but moments like today remind me that it’s worth fighting for😅
@aminaa1720 Congrats and Keep fighting! I'm on the same path. I have a 5-day streak going and I love how present and productive I am. My dealer lives next door, so I battle daily not to hit him up. That feeling at the end of a productive day vs being numb is priceless. I know I'm just some random guy on the internet, but I'm proud of you. I know how easy it is to fail one day and then that day turns into 3 months of numb binge smoking. Stay strong! 💪🏾
0:11 Editor has been watching Diary of a CEO
real
So true! haha
Coming across your channel has been such a game changer, from starting out with seeing you on Diary of a CEO. I've been applying your advice and I am reaping the rewards. I especially like your teaching on getting good at doing nothing, cognitive reframing and how to make the most out of our dopamine. As someone who was diagnosed with ADHD in my adult life, learning that my body does not produce enough dopamine explains why i'd lack pleasure and motivation in doing tasks and procastinating. I feel that applying those principles are giving me the turnaround that I need to live a fulfilled life especially going through cycles of MDD.
I am yet to go through your other videos as I'm sure I'll come across other trinkets of wisdom that I can apply to my life.
Wow listening to Dr. K made me realize this is why I still keep up with my weekly dance classes even after 4 years. Most people are in awe when I tell them I do dance classes but I’m kinda like 🤷🏽♂️ about it because it’s so normalized to me, but realizing that I do it for no other reason than cuz I like it & I made a commitment to not quit helped me understand why I’ve stuck to it for so long
"Willpower comes from the frontal lobes", me with ADHD impaired frontal lobes... Well shit
It's called the ADHD tax: the impulsive spending.
ADHD is playing life on hardcore
Discipline is outside ADHD effects. Once a habit is built it's set. Fight on brother.
Stop victimizing yourself
Does anyone know which yt stream is this video from? Bcz I think I have seen this before.
wait but if im doing something "worthless" because you said it will help me, is it really worthless? is this some sort of paradox?
that's just terminology, it's worthless because it's called that way, but that doesnt mean it is
🎯 Key points for quick navigation:
00:00 *Control internal variables*
00:14 *Willpower is finite*
00:43 *Ambition drives actions*
01:10 *Yogic perspective helps*
01:54 *Five action sources*
03:06 *Dopamine vs. serotonin*
03:46 *Willpower overrides impulses*
04:42 *Willpower requires effort*
05:40 *Cookie and beet experiment*
07:11 *Meditation strengthens willpower*
07:59 *Reduce willpower reliance*
08:53 *Minimize desires, emotions*
10:13 *Effortless self-control achieved*
11:38 *Willpower like salt*
13:14 *Powerful wants realized*
14:10 *Freedom from desire*
15:32 *Restrain positive desires*
16:55 *Practice overcoming desires*
18:21 *Sublimate desires, act freely*
19:06 *Embrace worthless actions*
Made with HARPA AI
I reduced my drinking a few months ago by reducing how much I purchase in one go. I used to buy two-fours and be surprised that I drank too much. Now I just buy a six pack and when that's done, I don't get in the car to get more.
Same with snacks: I rarely have snacks in the house, so I rarely eat snacks.
Curating availability of vices works wonders.
I was an alcoholic for 2 years. I started buying light beer and now i am clean for two months. worked for me
Yeah that's a really useful tip but for a lot of bad habits you can't do that
Lol
@@joelcoll4034why not? I believe every bad habit can be worked on through small steps like OP did but it obviously takes some time to figure out what works. what matters ultimately is that OP is trying to take different approaches and they found something that stuck
Yes, we need this video. There is a way to do things effortlessly. No effort + smarts = smooth progress.
I just spilled a drink on my carpet on purpose and cleaned it up. I feel the rubber band coming off already. My desires are no more.
For real though great content, you're helping so many people including myself. ADHD part of the guide to mental health is also really helping me in my life. Thanks for all your hard work.
This is amazing. As someone with ADHD, there's usually never an actual reward for completing tasks, and I have somehow stumbled my way into the "no desires" mindset by trial and error. If theres little to no feelings of pride and accomplishment for the actions I do, mind as well just do things for the sake of doing it. Otherwise, I won't do anything. And somehow, its given me a sorta passive level of happiness. Guess thats the serotonin doing its job
I completely understand this on another level and up until hearing this video I was unable to identify misuse of “willpower” could be a factor in my low capacity but as I thought about it I realize most things I do in life I literally have to talk my self into starting and as I’m doing it I have to tell myself to continue to do it the whole entire time
This video was exactly what I needed. Today, I was feeling down because I couldn’t bring myself to study programming in my free time after work. I’ve been feeling like I’m becoming complacent in my career. But this video really hit me different. At the end, I even teared up for no apparent reason. What you said made so much sense, and it genuinely brought me peace. Thank you for the incredible work you do.
I do feel like too much emphasis is put on willpower sometimes but I literally stopped smoking and drinking out of sheer willpower lol. No friends, family, or girlfriend helped me.
Maybe you reached a point where the motivation for being sober was strong enough that the willpower required was manageable
@@Dylan-ko2gj wouldn't that mean I had that reserve of willpower latent within me all along though. Stoic Philosophy actually played a big role.
Hell yeah brother (or sister, I don’t know)
That is a great thing you achieved.
I do not know how exactly you did it but there is always a nuiance in anything we do. Rememner, what we try to conveie is always limited through words😊
@MobileNi25 Really, I had to learn to love myself again.
I don't understand at all. What is action without motivation? Isn't everything you do motivated by something? Even if it's just survival? It feels like the advice is to stare at a wall all day and everything will be fine or "something cool will happen". I'm not a yogi. I can't just drop everything and do nothing. I wish these videos were longer and had practical advice and thorough explanations.
From what I understand, he's saying you need to remove motivation from action. When, for example you think about going to the gym, you initially dread going because you have negative annotations attached to it therefore you have a desire that pulls you away from the action. So it takes energy for you to hype yourself up and push your negative desires to the side. However, this route to action is not sustainable as it burns you out. But, if you don't have desires that are tied to all your ideas (good or bad), you have control of your mind as you don't submit to any urges. Moreover, if you're in control you think and therefore you act. If you're not in control you think, you battle all these urges that pull you away from the action, then act and then a week later you can't.
@Beatrix346 but what's to say you make the right decisions when you remove motivation and desire? If I have no reason to prioritize going to the gym over playing video games, why would I go to the gym? As soon as I do assign value to the gym, it suddenly becomes desirous. I can see the value of scaling back your emotions and desires, but if you totally remove them you're just a slave to entropy.
it's about structure and sources of your motivation, if it clears something up for you
You just need to practice meditation. With time and practice it decreases desires and fears and resistance.
You need to experience it there is no other way around it.
@@Razgriz02 His advice in this one is for people like me. I have a couple smaller addictions and bad habits.
My problem is that I GOT USED TO follow my "want"s and can't do anything without "wanting" to do it.
The "I want" has different meanings in my life:
I want to play videogames
I want to goon for a couple of hours
I want to sleep for 12 hours straight
"I want" to get ripped and become a chick magnet.
"I want" to study so I'll have a good career and get mmmmoney
Some "want"s are more common in my ordinary life, day by day.
Those wants are stronger too.
I ended up doing nothing else but those easy "want"s only.
This video and advice shows a way to get around that problem.
And gives a PRACTICAL advice for that:
A practice! A simple method to get used to do things separately from my "want"s.
Like doing something random just for doing something random.
This has a neurological effect: It trains my brain to Do Not Stop me from doing things. Because right now my brain Stops me if I don't "want" to do something truly or if I want to do something else.
But taking the "want"s from the equation skips that stop mechanism.
You are a saint..
Replace desire and habits with Nishkaam karma
Replace emotions (Rag /dwesh) with Nirmamta
Replace Ambition with Dharma
Atma Gyan leads to Nishkaam Karma, Nirmamta and dharma which leads to freedom (moksh, mukti, enlightenment)
Wow, no wonder why I have felt and said "My mind has a mind of its own", thank you for explaining the neuroscience behind this.
I literally cried to my best friend how I always feel like I am slave of my Desires....
Unable to do anything unless I have the right desire for it. 😇
I swear our world is a simulation because of how accurate your videos encapsulate our problems.
But a more plausible thing is.... you, Dr.K, truly understand human nature and how to deal with it.
And I am very thankful to you for giving me this video and the super helpful insight with it. (+5 Insight)
I will try again to correct my habits of not working out, studying, etc... but with the new knowledge I
hopefully will succeed this time. Thank you Dr. K.
Hi Dr. K just two quick questions,
So when a human being act, there are five sources: desire, habit, emotion, ambition, and willpower.
Then, the technique that Dr. K showed us is to take action from outside of these five sources. Such as when we are taking the pens out of the cup when we don't have the desire, habit, emotion, or ambition to do so.
Q1) But when we're doing that, what is the source of that action coming from? Are we using willpower because it's an exercise that Dr. K tells us to practice?
Q2) If we trained ourselves to keep doing that, and we gain results from it by gaining control, we can go to the gym when we want to, or study when we want to. What would the source of the actions for these be? Would it be desire? or willpower?
Thank you!
I never usually comment, but this is literally mind-blowing!! You explained my main problem and the solution with which I struggled so much in just a short video. The idea that doing something worthless which gives us true freedom is eye opening. Thanks doc.
instead of doing nothing, time to do a morbillion useless things that dont make me feel accomplishment. this is true freedom
Okay, this is the best advice I've ever received. I feel like Ive been on this crash and burn roller coaster for 5-6 years. I probably wouldn't have gotten as many successful gym days in if I wasn't an instructor. I working as a nurse by day and a dance instructor by night was wild. I never new how many spoons I had to give until I walked though that door and felt the atmosphers energy pick me up. Thank you!!! ❤
There's a great book that talks exactly about this called "Mindful Self-Discipline" by Giovanni Dienstmann. Highly recommended for anyone struggling with this. Talks a lot about being mindful of your aspirations and desires and not relying purely on willpower for doing things, it was a game changer for me.
I have to be thankful to you, you've nailed exactly all of my problems and now I can understand where exactly I'm going wrong, thank you.
If the solution is to try doing things that are completely worthless, don't I need the willpower to persist in doing those worthless things? And isn't the desire to do worthless things a desire in and of itself?
@@一的龗 yeah, i was thinking the same thing :/
"Desire" refers to wanting to doing something because of dopamine and serotonin. You need less will power when you keep your desires in check. Doing worthless thing should be easy for everyone because it doesn't generate nor requires any kind of desires.
The point is to do it when you want to do something positive - instead of getting a salad or reading go do this. It's using willpower, but it's training you to break desires on an easier stage
Seperate feelings from actions ('i dont feel like working out')
I think focus on consistency rather than motivation or willpower, if you don't want to do something, just be there, go there, and the body will follow.
I don’t quite understand this video, but the action I will do is less rely on my positive and negative wants to dictate my actions. Instead I’m going to decide to do things and do them, not care about outcome or consider anything else. In the couple minutes I’ve been doing it it’s worked out so far. I said in my mind I decide to get up out of bed and I instantly got up without feeling anything, now I decide to go upstairs and get my water bottle. Will continue trying it out n see how it works! S/o Dr.K for being a great help over the years
4:00 is going to live rent free in my mind for months 🤣🤣🤣
This might sound strange and I can't really explain it.
But sometimes as dumb as it sounds making promises to people that mean a lot to you or spirits if you're into that can actually help.
I quit cigarettes about 5 years ago. Right now aside from obviously not being able to afford them because who can? One of the few reasons I keep away from lighting one up even when they're almost handed to me is because I've made a promise myself.
A simple vowel to my health and that I would put my lifes health first
Things that work half of the time can be devastating because is just enough for some people to not change the strategy for a better one, it looks like it can happen in sports, videogames and relying too much on willpower
1. *Wu Wei*
2. Frankle’s theory of moiovational force - Logos
3. Doing what truly fulfils you is for you, not your ego (ambitions, desires, etc…)
The smaller your ego, the easier it is to fill your cup.
You are not your “self”, you are much more.
Once you transcend your ego, the self no longer exists.
So, what truly fulfils you is profoundly selfless, not selfish.
I have been trying to motivate myself to go back to work and get a job, and I built myself a schedule to accomplish this goal. Then by Wednesday, I fell through on that schedule. So ya this video explains a lot. Thank you.
Act on stuff just because. You see, it's always tied to an emotion. Let's say. It's rainy outside, you haven't been out the house because of the weather.
Now you think. "Oh, no it's raining outside, (uncomfortable) so i rather stay inside.
Now instead of just sitting at home. You say, "i take an umbrella and just go for a walk". Not because it's a desire, but that you know some fresh air and light exercise will do you good. You don't tie it to an effort. You go out with an attitude of just doing it and the emotion of you will feel better.
Minimize the effort, see it positive and a lightly attitude of just doing it.
Not a task that NEEDS to be done, motivation video to do it, or a goal of accomplishing an amount of steps for the day.
Gotcha, going to trash my room because it is a worthless action separated from accomplishment
If I completely remove the reward system from different tasks, why would I then choose to do the ones that have a higher mana cost? It seems like there must always be a compass guiding you towards increasing serotonin. idk, it just seems to me that we're still acting on ambition but trying to trick the mind by calling it something else.
But Dr K isn't doing something worthless because it's pointless (to then have control and freedom over desires) also a desire?
Genuine question: how do you not fall into the trap of being motivated to not do things out of motivation?
I was using my willpower to motivate myself to go to the gym, eat healthy, meditate, but then after two weeks my willpower was worn off and my old habits returned, and I’ve been grieving over that. This video found me at the right moment. Thanks Dr k
I don't understand this video, maybe i misunderstood this. If i drop all my desires and a desire of a "positive" thing that is a result of a certain action, it will make the action easier.. but won't i just do this thing less or even stop doing it?
Like as an example: John has a desire to get jacked, so he tries to go to the gym 5 days a week. He struggles with motivation and often chooses to stay home and play video games, so he often skips his workout sessions but he still goes to the gym whenever he gets motivated. Then he finds this video, so he drops his desire of getting jacked. He doesn't care about getting jacked so he rarely ever goes to the gym because there is no point of going to the gym anymore and there is million other things he could do. Looking back he realises that he goes to the gym less times now as he dropped the desire to get jacked compared to when he was relying on his motivation.
That's what i imagine would happen to me with the certain activities i do, i just don't understand how after dropping the desire to do a certain thing i will keep on doing that activity without the drive.
well what about the other desires like playing video games? are the negative desire’s changing as well or only the positive? what has John been doing during that time with no desires? is John now free because he doesn’t want anything but still exists and does whatever he’s doing?
for me this video was about separating desires from action so that desire isn’t driving, John is. even if John is only putting pens in a cup jhon can decide what to do. like going to the gym but not for the sake of wanting anything from it
then jhon has a spurt of old habits, requiring less willpower, less often draining less of his battery leaving more room to grow because he is separated from motivation.
I must be slow because I’m still confused, even after rewatching.
@@greensheep1237 thanks, you made it more clear. I'll need to reflect on this video a lot because it's still hard for my mind to comprehend how i'd be able to do that.
0:11 please don't do this, it's jarring and not suspense building
“That’s the fucken point.” 😂😂😂
That got me pretty good too
I needed this today. Thank you.
Mind blowing. 🤯 Instant rewatch.
I completed a 5km run and have almost mastered doing the splits. Everyday when I wake up I have no motivation to go to the gym and my brain tells me staying home is best. Yet each day after the gym I feel great and promise myself to go the next day.
thats literally willpower
@@SpieleSuchti894 i don't think dr k's point was that you need dont willpower, it's that the amount of willpower you need is dependent on how much you desire to do the opposite thing. So say you don't want to go the gym today. If you REALLy don't want to go, you need a ton of willpower to overcome that. As opposed to your desire to not go being a lot less, in this case you need just enough willpower to put your clothes on and get in the car.
hmmm, but I think the whole end goal is to separate what you do (action) from your desire, even if that means skipping out on things that, in this case, would only benefit you momentarily because you can’t stick to these goals because you rely on motivation to dictate action (I’m not trying to hate; I'm just engaging to try and understand more myself). For example, in bodybuilding, macro tracking is good long-term. Logically, tracking your food is important for muscle growth and weight gain. Yada, yada, yada, but in this case, if you’ve had trouble tracking your cals, carbs, fats, and protein (macro tracking) consistently and you only track them when you listen to your seemingly “positive long-term desire towards progress,” you’re still just following desire or motivation; it’s the same as listening to your desire or motivation to skip school and stay in bed in my case. Even though one desire could be positive and the other could be negative, if you follow desire, you won’t be in control, and your actions will be tied to whatever desire you have on the given day.
Good for you. I had successfully exerted my willpower to go to the gym for about half a year, despite feeling not so great after that. But all these millions of gurus can not be wrong! So i ruined both my health and willpower.
Who is your master?
After nearly 45 years of trying to will my way to feeling loved, it’s a war I’m starting to realize I’m going to lose.
"Willpower" as described in this video is something that compels you to a particular action. I would not consider feeling loved to be an action. To experience a particular emotion or view yourself in a new way is a different subject entirely, I would think anyway.
That said, I hope things get better for you. Keep your head up. I'm sure Dr. K has other videos more tailored to what you're describing.
Mark Manson - Models - amazing book.
Thank you, Dr. K, for teaching these insights, as always.
19:08 Dr. K out here revealing the secrets of the U.S. military
So, while I get the logic behind this, recently I had a certain experience regarding an activity I've been (unintentionally) practising this on, namely painting. Internally I was like, I could keep doing this. I could stop doing this. I could never touch the brush again. It really makes no difference to me. Which, I guess, is cool, cause I'm free to choose. But it made me feel so empty. Like there's no passion in what I do, and it feels devalued because of that. I feel a little lost. Maybe the reason is something else and I'm confusing the two, idk.
because the value in never in the things, the value is in yourself. The sun never goes well there in passion in burning today, no the value of sun is in it's nature, it burns because it can, and you have value because you can choose to do (namely painting), and that's your nature.
I think some of us need a part 2 because it's hard to get our head around the whole concept.
For example, if you do useless things for the sake of it...Aren't you doing them so that you can control your behavior when you desire something? I find the video interesting but I need some more explanation so that I can fully grasp the whole idea
Whoa, I need a deeper dive on this, Dr. K! What does this look like actionably and in the long run? Great video!
11:38 omg actually that’s so subtle but so important. There is something there for me: I’ve always been conditioned to be very disciplined as a child and I know many clear walls in my brain that prevent me from doing things like dirty shoes on fabrics because I feel like hard surfaces can just be wiped and thereby completely restored but fabrics like bedding, carpets etc will tend to always keep a bit of the dirt. Anyways. I’ve become better with the idea of doing things that I don’t naturally want to do, but maybe because stuff like that is excreting so much willpower I could derive great benefit acting without having to think so much not because my thinking doesn’t get me anywhere but because that room I could leave myself could be used for other more important things. To not restrict the urge to get up and do a cartwheel or fidget with an object if I felt like it idk
I was having dejavu cause I've already heard this lecture before, multiple times actually cause it's my favourite. Every time I come back to it I understand better than the previous one
I love Dr k, I love his sensitive approach to hard topics. I love his perspective and I love the person I’ve become from his lessons. No teacher has done what Dr k has done for me and I wanted to share my appreciation here
Once you start relying on willpower it will get harder every time. Making small amounts of progress over time is FAR more consistent and a way to basically guarantee success
Dr. K is jacking up his TH-cam skills with that intro
Huh. Ambition is just another desire. I never thought of it that way, but it seems obvious now.
Noble prize for you!
It's spooky how you nail a perfect description of my life all the time!
It's the same thing I learned from doing kung fu as a kid "Motivation is nothing, determination is everything"
Love your videos brother keep up the good work.
Instructions unclear, i've been putting the pencils back into the cup for 3 hours please help
This is fukn brilliant Dr K.
Thank you for sharing your knowledge and Wisdom.
On the idea of decreasing desires, i'm assuming we are talking about negative desires. Wouldn't that mean that we can also train to increase desire for the things that we actually want to achieve?
I have a question related to the pens in the cup activity.
You say that you are removing accomplishment from the action, but in reality are you not trying to accomplish full control of desires?
For a moment, the idea of doing something just for the sake of doing it really clicked with me, but then this thought popped out.
Any suggestions?
The example with the cup at the end is a training of willpower. You do something that you choose, meaning you can freely decide how much willpower you use and then you do that until you have reached a limit and a little bit more. That is progressive overload for the brain.
instructions unclear, i now have a desire to conquer my desires
This is how i got out of feeling hella depressed for the last few weeks. I just started doing random stuff. Making myself go to coffee shops to work and leave the house. Also removed the desire of a really really comfortable blanket in the winter haha
Perfect timing, so true. But when he said "cut your positive actions by 50%, I almost started crying. It's so hard, especially with ADHD.
I tried the dumping of the pens test, but I had a different experience than what you probably intended.
Initially I had thoughts of "this is dumb and a waste of time, why am I doing this?" and then as soon as I dumped the pens onto my desk, those went completely away. I picked up the pens and I was done. I continued to do this for a little while, and I noticed that I started having to utilize willpower in order to dump the cup. I kept thinking, "I don't want to dump this cup, I should go to ___ instead," and again the thoughts went away when I actually dumped the cup.
What I find interesting is that it is EXACTLY the same feeling I get when I go try and do something I don't want to do, like exercise. My internal desires fight me so hard that I almost feel paralyzed and unable to act until either it gives up or I give up.
yeah i dont really get it because u have to use willpower to do it. I realised when I was doing a similar test that while it initially seemed like I was doing it for the sake of doing it, I am doing it because I want to control my desires which in itself, is a desire. I would have to do this consistently for any effect which would require some level of willpower every day
@@bigman3290 you are right, if your do this test with desire to accomplish XYZ the test has lost purity, but the test was demonstrated to show you the same, that your brain fights so hard for "why's" or "the reasons" that even for something completely useless activity you try find some "want" in order to do it.
The point is to do it when you want to do something positive - instead of getting a salad or reading go do this. It's using willpower, but it's training you to break desires on an easier stage. If you just jump into this its because you WANT to - defeating the purpose
New Dr K videos are like the
Pre-Endgame MCU
This is older video, but still awesome to remind myself to keep training ❤ came a long way since I've seen it for a first time 🤝
18:53 the beauty of free will visualized
Thank you so much
You just solved my recent problem of life❤❤❤
13:10 this example reminds me of somethng Victor Frankly said about some prisioners in the concentration camp when they give up they do literally nothing, not even move to piss in another place. There is a well defined line between those who keep going even though they complaining and thinking about giving up and the ones who actually gave up. I think even saying that you don't want to do nothing is a sign that you still have some desire since you said that to someone.
thank you so much DK!
I think making multiple videos using one topic and varying times in each video just adds to accessibility, the more the marrier when it comes to variation in video length / speed at which a topic is explained.
Bro literally explained what dharma is. Without emphasizing on it. 😂
I'm not to bright , maybe I missed the point ---doing worthless actions to no benefit gives me control but how is that gonna serve me in the long run?
bro thank you for the videos you're doing really good with the giving right and correct knowledge
love from India ❤
This is great stuff, but I find it really difficult to take action without motivation. Isn’t the process of building stronger willpower by doing something without motivation itself as a kind of motivation?
Sounds paradoxical 😢
Me with 2 braincells: "I need to empty my pen case to gain control of my life 👍"
Dr.k the GOAT no kizzy. He has answers to so many problems.
The idea of doing a worthless action simply doesn't compute to my brain. It's like I absolutely have to have some greater goal in mind. And what about the fact that I would be doing a worthless action in service of a greater purpose (breaking the link between desire and action if I understand correctly) anyway?
This is the reason I'm stuck, whatever I do I only do it to accomplish something. During my childhood whenever I tried to learn something for the sake of learning my parents would say what's the point of that what will you gain from it.... I was reading a book on karma yoga and this video popped up what a coincidence lol.
Whenever I feel like I'm doing something wrong Dr K's video makes me feel as if that something wrong is more correct than I thought it was. In the end I don't really know why I have so much trouble being a functioning member of society. I guess that doesn't necessarily have to mean that there's something wrong with me.
Hello Dr K, thank you for the content that you make. You're literally saving my life. I am very grateful that I came across your channel.
My question is, when we regulate our willpower, it helps you achieve the result you actually "know" Is right rather than what we actually "want", with this, if I know that I have to resist most of my desires and do the opposite, I might have to increase my willpower, without which, I cannot achieve the result which is good for me. Wouldn't we fail in a matter of just some mere days if we're constantly trying to resist temptation?
Doesn't a ton of this issue stem from the disconnect between the individual and the expectation? In the past society exerted a strong expectation, which gave people a compass even if it wasn't in line with their ambition or desires. That fulfilled the feeling of moving forward and because of closer interhuman interactions this would constantly be reinforced.
I'm not suggesting that that is a desired outcome, it restricts the individual greatly and it wouldn't function well these days if applied to entire nations. There still is a point to be made that following these principles in a tight-knit group of people is a hundred times easier than when you're sitting alone at home.
The world we created is shaped by ideas of what humans should do/should want to do but it all too often loses sight of how our brains and bodies work in practice.
"Eating healthy food is the morning is easier than..."
F YOU BRO DAMN!!!!!😂 got me!
Doing something for the sake of doing it because i desire to be free from my desires 😵💫
An object at rest wants to stay at rest, an object in motion wants to stay in motion. We desire doing things as strongly as we desire being lazy and sleeping. You just have to take a second to choose rest or motion every day, and the rest will follow subconsciously.
Reminds me of a story about a group of prisoners who are told to tear down an old house. They’re all sluggish and it’s tedious until they’re told which beams they need to save and they pick up the work right away.