I’m a firm believer that if you’ve done everything you can to help a relationship it’s time to move on because if people don’t want to change it’s because they don’t care too and seeing narcissism through a biblical perspective has enlightened me so much and giving me the strength to move forward
Biblical prospective = Demons, morally corrupt spirits, 'derelict spirit' ones born without souls/souls of darkness to cause chaos and suffering on to Earth as a curse spoken of in Hebrewic text. Narcissist are the single most dangerous thing on Earth, and we see their destruction in every aspect of Humanity from world leaders to our families
Michelle you made me laugh with that Narcs have good taste in partners comment. Yes I agree some of the nicest people I've ever met were in the comment section of your channel. You and this awesome community have helped me so much. Cheers to you both.
I thought we were best friends, then I wasted so much time, and tired of getting picked on, I just left, no fighting or arguing,just left, and it’s been more than 2 months and I feel better every day
I was recovering from a on and off long time narcissistic relationship. When one day I happened upon a person who I thought was a nice man.we were friends for about 10 months and when he went away it was like going to the withdrawal of the previous relationship again. I now see I did not give myself enough time to get over my long-term relationship. And the minute someone else made me happy I thought they were the antidote. Instead of healing my own inner child . This video is just right on the money
I am at that point, yet was strong enough to resist the hoovering of a hotie... Luckily i blocked him... And I know the Lord will send me someone much better... Narcissists are boring... It s all about them and their inflated ego... 🚮🏃♀️
They wouldn't even have to ask. They could be silently observing behaviors to crack the code. Also trial and error. They say , you look beautiful, and the target's eyes light up and they are happy the whole day or week after that. ♡
Just like the love bomb, after they have you hooked, they feed you scraps, it's all about the game 🎯 they play, false hope, keeps you stuck, like a drug, 🐈 and mouse 🐁 game, great video Michelle thanks 👍 we got this everyone, have a great day everyone and you have confidence in yourself you are somebody special or the narcissist wouldn't of picked you.
Excellent video. As long as we are looking for someone else to be the healthy parent we never had, we are giving away our power to that person. We must learn to identify and heal our own wounds to be truly healthy and free from exploitation.
It’s crazy, I told him what I’d never gotten before, and he still didn’t and doesn’t give it to me. I have so many wounds and trauma that I’ve suffered. Yet and still he knows all of the hurt I’ve been through and there are so many things I bend over backwards to do for him and he would never do the same for me. SMH The “false hope” is sooo real. I’ve been promised the same thing for YEARS and every time the topic comes up, there’s an excuse and then I get blamed for why he hasn’t fulfilled that promise. So it’s always a bargain for the one thing I’ve asked about for over a decade.
Wow...I moved down to her after our first separation, I was homeless and working two jobs just to be with her. I bought her gifts, showed every bit of love I had. But she never returned it. So after we moved back into our own place again...6 months and I had nothing left to give. Damn you taylor.
are you telling me that these people harvest your deepest insecurities fears etc and spread that information to other people when you think they are a trusted person? i’m lit beside myself
I have witnessed red flags with my relationship. During the relationship she would tell me about her toxic family and friends in the beginning. After a few years, I was hopeful she would overcome her insecurities. I'm happy that she was able to pursue her career goals and make a difference for herself. I noticed the controlling, manipulation and gaslighting. I don't like to argue and noticed that I gave her the more she took without giving back. In the end she left me for a rebound guy. Lesson learned.
When we feel mistreated we need to leave that person and move on. I would write a letter which I have done many times and just say it all. What they do with that information is their business. There will be no more back and forth struggle.
I continue to look for honest advice and feedback from other’s who have experienced something similar. I am struggling on the path forward and would love to hear from others. Long story short, for almost 18 years, I have been married to someone who has narcissistic traits. Our marriage has been struggling for a few years now; about 2 months ago we attended our 19th marriage counseling session together. At that session I told my wife that somehow our marriage needs to drastically get better quickly, or I feel we need pull the plug and end our marriage since we have been going to marriage counseling for far longer than we probably should have been going; and not much, if anything, improved. Part of me was hopeful that this was going to be the warning shot and my wife would finally hear me; that she would finally understand that I am done with the narcissistic type of behavior, done with the mean comments, the high level of control, and being made out to feel like I am never doing the right thing, never doing it quickly enough, etc. Unfortunately, the few weeks after that counselling sessions things did not improve, they actually seemed worse. For example, one morning I started her car so it was warm for her when she left for work (which I do for her quite often). I wasn’t looking for a pat on the back, but she very rudely said “oh, thank you so much for everything you do”. One day I went and bought a snow shovel and salted and cleaned the ice from the sidewalk. Instead of getting any type of thanks or appreciation, she told me that it is so interesting that I had time to go to Dollar General (which is about 3 miles from our house) and buy a new shovel and salt. I got criticized for doing laundry and putting in on ‘her side’ of the bed and not having it moved off of the bed so she could lay down at night without having to touch laundry. I got criticized for having the space heater on in the living room. I got criticized for eating all the lasagna; when in fact I put it in a Tupperware container so she could take it in her lunch. I got questioned on going for a walk along the river. It was just relentless verbal attacks. By no means am I a perfect husband, I am far from it, and I have made plenty of mistakes, but I have always tried to be loving and supportive and take care of her and our kids. I have dealt with this type of narcissistic behavior for a very long time. Just another example, I recently learned why I was in severe pain for a couple of days this past summer; I was passing a 6mm kidney stone. While I was in pain, I got in a hot bath to try and alleviate some of the pain. I recall vividly her making a mean comment that I was in the bath while she was doing something for the kids. I have agonized over the decision for many months, and probably years now, but about 5 weeks ago I asked for divorce and have been moved out since that time. She said it wasn’t fair and that I blindsided her, even though we have attended those 19 marriage counseling sessions together; I reluctantly agreed to separation for now. For the last five weeks, I have been buried in loving texts, pictures of our kids and of some fun memories in the past, she sent me the wedding song that we danced too, she has been sending me quotes from the bible, she asked that I listen to various books on making marriages work, etc; she asked that I meet with our Deacon at church and attend a church marriage weekend retreat. She has buried me in a variety of, what I would consider ‘tactics’, to try and get me back home; she has thrown our vows in my face multiple times and said that I am destroying the kids by moving out. I have been holding strong and have not caved by moving back in; recently she has been all over the board with her comments and emotions. Seems silly talking about, but we own a car and a truck. For the last 5 weeks I have drove the truck and she has had the car. Roughly a week ago she said she wants the truck, which is no problem, but I asked her why; she said she doesn’t need to answer why, she just wants it. She said she plans on keeping the truck for a few weeks since its not fair that I got to drive it for a few weeks (I don’t know the intentions of this, other than some form of power play, or maybe knowing if she has the truck, I won’t be able to use it to do things I enjoy). She also seems to be getting controlling with the kids; she told me that I am the one who decided to leave them, so its not fair for me to ever get both of our kids overnight while she is alone, since she didn’t decide to leave. I reminded her that I didn’t leave the kids, that I only left her. Shortly after making these types of comments, she follows up with a load of very nice loving texts. This is all extremely hard for me, because she occasionally acts nice and says she is willing to try and change, but seems all over the place with her comments and emotions; I’m afraid I will fall back into the trap. Over the last few days she has attempted to be nice, although almost to the point of smothering because I have asked for time and space, but she seems to refuse to give that to me. Here recently she has been very frequently saying “I Love You”; almost over using the words. She has made multiple attempts to try and be affectionate, which in a normal circumstance would be fine, but not after we are separated. I worry greatly about our kids, I feel she is subjecting them to a ton of sadness and possibly emotional manipulation, with the intentions being of playing the victim card in front of the kids and trying to make them feel bad for her and make me out to look like the bad guy (she told me she is always crying in front of the kids…and even yesterday when I saw her she cried multiple times in front of the kids). Even though I asked for divorce, I still do not wish her unhappiness; I just want everyone to get along and be nice and supportive with everyone. To make matters even more frustrating, recently she told me she was offered a job in Michigan (about 5 hours from where we currently live in Ohio). I am settled here in Ohio now, have a good job here, etc. I am happy for her that she was offered the job, I know that is more what she wants to do versus her current job, so that part makes me happy; but come on, wanting to relocate now while we are separated. I feel like she is doing everything she can to try and make things difficult for me, especially with our 2 kids. It’s just very inconsistent, it can change by the day, or even by the hour; sometimes she is sweet and nice, then there are plenty of moments of comments and actions that just aren’t nice. I’m struggling on the path forward, so any words of advice would be greatly appreciated.
I hope things sorted well for you! Your message, your story, all you have been is emotionally exhausting and I am sorry for what you were going through. 🙏
He never filled or healed my wound, he consistently created more of a wound~ but I grew up thinking this was love 😔 finding my self worth got me Free!!
5:43 Horse racing is horrifically unethical. People need to know that. Never bet money on those horse race tracks. Never give money to animal exploitation.
I find that since I've encountered men who try to exploit vulnerabilities, it has made me afraid to express interest in any guys. I don't know if they show interest back genuinely or if they are just faking emotions to take advantage.
Whatever you choice/decision just remember this stuff isn’t gender based.. The toxic treatment is showing is parts of our selves that we need to work on... blessings on your journey. Peace and love
I've learned that you have to love yourself before you can expect others to love you 😊 Don't seek validation outside your self. Give your self the validation you need. Fill this hole inside you, build confidence. Self love doesn't have to be something negative 😊🥰 I recommend reading the books of Louis Hay. 😍😊
Michele this is so liberating to know. I stayed with my Ex Narc and the father of my child past the time I should have left. He preyed early in the beginning of the relationship. Because he knew I grew up in a toxic home with both my parents.
Spot on. I was just discarded hard by my covert narcissist husband (first clue I had that I was with a narc), but just a month ago he was still giving me compliments and praise that I lapped up bc I never got that from my uber critical mom.
What makes me not leave my emotionally abusive narcissist is that he is my "in case of emergency" person. I am a grown completelt $elf-$upporting woman. My dad was all I had and he died. Before he died I had courage not to take crap from anybody, and when I figured out what they were, I quickly left each one of them. If I leave this one, I will just have to find some other person to have for a relationship and they might be worse. I don't want to have something unfortunate happen and nobody to call. The price is each day my life is mildly unfortunate in a different way.
Sad. You might never had a “relationship”. When dad gives UNCONDITIONALY everything he is able to SMALL daughter and daughter takes, both are happy… BUT THIS IS GONE
Sadly, there are some wounds that you just can't heal on your own, or at all. These are seemingly very few and fairly rare. You can only really distract yourself and remember that you have this exploitable vulnerability and guard it at all cost.
I know I will probably never heal from the way I was treated growing up. I get very overwhelmed by it despite having talk therapy and giving 50 years. I'm sure my emotional scars are evident to most people who get to know me and I have no problem explaining my past. I do not 'cover' for abusers. Therefore I know I am easy pickings for a narc. After marrying and escaping from one, I do not make friendships or relationships any more. I have coworkers and acquaintances. I will not allow anything further to develop. I am too damaged.
Wow I was that person, she was there and everything she show me that I can be love. Soon as we got married that person said find me. Its like somebody took the rug off under me. The person I was looking for she never came back, I even started paying for her love and it was never enough. She took advantage of me,she took my heart and use me. She hurt so bad that I will not let another near me. Ill be at peace with me my self and i.
Thank you I noticed Iam stuck being in one sided relationships even friendships Iam the one always reaching out making plans etc . I wish someone would call or text me or reach out doesn't have to be everyday every once in a while would be nice . I am tired of feeling drained by people like that .
I was with a female narcissist for 16years. It was alway one side and after the first month it became a sexless relationship. I gave her everything, but I was always the bad guy and i was never good enough. Now I feel like I was the narcissist and she was the victim. I constantly question everything I do now I have no confidence and haven't for a long time. I was the one that asked her to leave, but now would do anything to have her back.
Feel the same way. Married 21 yrs; found out my wife had a multi mth affair. Now she says loves me and misses me and doesn’t want to leave or have me leave. Not sure since the trust is broken.
I love your channel!! My life with my narcissist wife..( covert).. is KILLING ME.. I told her to hear and watch videos like this that match up perfectly with her actions and verbal abuse .. the “ go to “ gaslighting comments.. how sad it makes my heart to know I’m in a horrible place with a cold manipulative mean nasty narcissist
If they know it is bothering you it will just get worse . That is what they get off on by being able to control you while they are thinking he he he he , making them more superior .
@@purplethumb8440 my new answer to her ??.. is.. hey I have an idea .. stfu and go worry bout what mask ya gonna wear today is.. or just because you say it my dear poor soul.. does not make it a fact
I am getting so well, that I even feel this manipulation on the phone, where my patients, specially the male ones are asking out of place questions to see if you fall for their lines, he gives me a trip around the world in 2 minutes prank... Then I block them without mercy... And nobody gets hurted... Where before I would always second guess the situation... Should I believe his lies and and... I think the main hint that I have noticed with them many times, is that they try to get personal in the conversation... That s a big RedFlag, and i hope in the future i just spot the phoniness of their words in the act and cut it loose... Afterwards, you feel drained, robbed, so as always with them is a waste of time...
Actually I stayed longer than I should have for the simple reason I could not afford to leave. He threatened to bankrupt me in court, he made most all the money, he emptied the joint accounts, and I had no relatives to turn to. I was in danger and so I bought a door knob with a lkey lock to keep me and my stuff safe within the house. I think if women had more support and resources they would leave more readily. (And don't even say call the police. You are bringing more trouble on to yourself)
I feel terrible. Realise the stonewalling, being invisible and invalid as a human IS EXACTLY WHAT I GOT FROM A STEPMUM who then had my v hard working hardly there father, stone wall, emotionally neglect, and they both gaslit and scapegoated me after I was the golden child before they married. Yrs later my friend (who is my voluntary carer after sexual assault, he called 999 & police thought him a person of safety. Exact words. He touches me no matter how inappropriate and I ve said such and appeared a temptress or something. He appears wealthy but isn't. He's awful.) I'm now broken inside, angry, my boundaries aren't working, police are embarrassed and hoping it will go away or I'm misreading things. He's 72. I'm 37. Like I'm being abused by a grandad. He will deny his touching 'jokes' to anyone officially tho. I ve quit drinking which was his fave counter blame. Never to me tho. He never talks. Only talks in the phone hoping to hear how shit I'm feeling for supply or where I'm going etc. He followed me for a time too. His age has me feel silly. He knows what he's doing. I found trophies in a wardrobe. Horrible ones. I stole a handful in disbelief. He knows their gone tho. He hates me but needs a bird in a cafe to poke. I ve managed 9wks NC. I lied n said the police were involved about his stalking and it was up to me if I wanted anything done. He answered THAT one time. Smirking without eye contact, pretending to busy himself he said "let them come to me." I ve said some awful things in retaliation to his emotional neglect etc. I had a bad migraine last month. Swollen eyes the lot. Had been trying to get thru to him for 2 whole days and never slept the nights. Soon as I said my head hurt & could I turn out his light, he grabbed a hammer and began badly chipping off tiles after saying rest for half an hr. He laughed. He bins my things. Hoards his. He's a key he denies having, I can't afford new locks, he's lost my bank card the bank say I ve no I'd worthy enough for another. All my paperwork is gone. He gets me up, even tho I live in my own home, rings all the time, my neighbour punched him for loitering. He convinced police he told me later that he was the victim. Tho he pulled a knife out. He carries weapons sometimes and deludes himself with war movies he has on repeat that he's in control. The avenger type fragile narc best fits. My diagnosed CPTSD is thru the roof. Got 1st in almost 3yrs. He handed me his phone n told me to Google help when I was fainting & threw his dog balls to my left, right and I was knocked over by it. His STILL FACE is 24/7 & everything seems like DAMAGE LIMITATION with him. I need this to END. Will I say something that finally triggers a response and he ll hurt me or will I flip and hut him badly more than intended as contrary to his belief, he's frail IMO. The age gap was so obvious I never thought he d only be grooming sexual contact from me. Said he's impotent. That eased my initial worry. Viagra capsules are stuffed everywhere. Wtf? Had a year of cognitive dissonance. I'm acting out by not washing, cleaning or anything at home. This has been 2yrs and 6months of my life. I even hoped he would get covid and buggar off. What can I possibly do. I know the psychology. TY Sam Vaknin. But truly -, I can't fake getting better when if it wasn't for my dog I d just sleep my life away. No family or friends in area. V rural and remote. I'm fkd. Sorry, but I'm certainly not suicidal. I'm crying for help minus tears tho... No one understands except online ppl who ve studied or experienced it. It's EVERYWHERE. Caroline, 37 Dingwall 🏴✌🏻❤️🙏🏻🦊🐕
Your right, ...they are very good at (soul searching) and completing our puzzled life (so to speak) I was "love bombed" this way and it does work very well for them, these small victories give them ample narc-supply. The human being is an "evolving creature" at every turn and experience whether good or difficult,...he is as motivated and relenting as the relentless beating of his very human heart....he does not give up, if he does, then he was truly in LOVE....and your right, it is this TYPE that usually end's up very devastated by the narc'...and may never heal completely because they don't know how to fall out of LOVE with the narcissist. Thanks Michele, your videos are so inspiring and in so many ways!!! peace :D
Can you PLEASE do a video on bi- polar narcissist? Because this is my situation.. my wife takes meds for this ... and when the “ cycle “ hits? For the most part it’s when she is having a bi- polar episode
I do not know what to do with that deep fear that displeasing any parent is dangerous. And being myself doing my things displease them. Make them abusive - covert abusive, sabotaging me -all of course under the mask of “good intentions”. Their first premise that I’m wrong, too dumb, too little (infantilize me) from there they draw conclusion that I need constant guidance and control from their side. Easy as that. Try to prove them wrong - it’s impossible, there logical fallacy appeal to ignorance kick in - if you can’t prove them wrong hence they are right - so get stuck in that fallacious logic like in quicksand and swamp. That also reinforce that seeds of doubts they plant in me, as you said delete all good focus on bad - worst case scenario. Narrow down vector of attention to worst case scenario and provide solution to created problem - their control, and “guidance” (being under their thumb). Just do not know how to untangle myself from that spiders web? How it is possible? Plus in my case that weird conflict between parents kick in - crazy mother blame all on father - father played nice do see him rarely so do not trust mother, and protect father. Then when after breaking out from crazy mother she was for real crazy ( but it somehow was all fathers fault somehow and all people who are on his side including me), so after dealing with father do find out that he is also crazy. And there mother start to blame see I always told you - you did not listen, bla bla bla you betray me and cause all harm!!! Shame and guilt. Totally confused mother was totally nuts and abusive - it impossible that all her issues was because of covert narc father and his ally like me. So I end up in total confusion and shame and guilt - that all that years I was hurting mother because do contact with covert narc father. Covert narc father explain all his abuse and bad behavior by blaming crazy, covert nark mother that she make him like that - so I should forget forgive and help him to heal from his first wife abuse, even more he blamed me for being ally with cover narc mother. My head just spinning and brain melting. I end up ashamed and guilty, in all family problems, in problems of each parent, and ashamed for contacting each and every parent. And each parent justify his or her abuse and neglect toward my person because I somehow on other parent side. I just can’t get that, my brain is short-circuited and can’t get rid of that shame and guilt and fear. I do try all the time to make peace between parents, to protect father in front of mothers abuse, or mother in front fathers abuse, to make them friend, do want healthy family where parents do not fight all the time and at state of war, but end up as worst person on earth to both parents - guilty and responsible literally for all their problems and issues. And here the catch - Who is guilty that person deserve punishment and abuse and should fix situation, compensate detriment (that somehow as legal justice system works in essence). So both parents demand from me compensation, fixing detriment, and feel themselves free to punish me as deserved justice for my “crimes”. And of course use enablers to do the same. I just can’t get that, how to solve that issue? It from distance looks logical but something is totally wrong with all that. That drives me crazy. People please help
Can’t get that thing in my life - trap do fall all the time. So structure seems looks like that - abuse -> my reaction on abuse appeal to solve problem -> my reaction used for abuse escalation (and problem is not solved). Again some role reversal DARVO. So problem long in the narc dysfunctional family family. So mother and father had war all the time, mother in woo woo cult and blame fatter in some woo woo and acts crazy in general covert narc no doubt about that, from tons of shit for example most coherent accusations of her was blame him being fake just and actor-pretender, traitor, cause harm, use money as a tool, being covert aggressive. So as a little child I do not can make any sense of what going on do see father very rarely he treats me mostly nice at that short times, mother treats me hostile and are abusive. So I gravitate more towards father of course. So later in life when barely survive life in biological mothers house do separate from her and live alone, do try to live with father in different country far away. He promise me some paradise. After starting to live with him do encounter that he is abusive, neglectful, fake, un-caring, rude, do not keep promises, and treats me badly. That start to make me think was mother right and I do fight with her protecting him in vain? But she so obviously was not okay, and anarchistic and abusive, she could day after day knock with her teeth making terrible sound year after year claiming that she heals people like that and tons of other totally insane stuff. So my brain short circuits - how she could be right? If I admit that father full of shit that somehow makes her 100% right and I’m guilty in front of her because she intensively blame and guilt trip me for contacting father and how badly that affects her that I make her to suffer she got illnesses and it’s all my fault of not following her cult rules. So huge paradox in my head - how that abusive and sadistic person who yell at me every day of my life - mother can be right about father? But facts show that he is also not okay, and that portion of her words seems right of him being fake, rude, two-face, narcissistic, who betray me personally causing lot of harm when do live with him. That melts my brain. Do have two abuser - covert narcissist - who cave in all that pile of manure and abuse some crumbs of truth. And both parents somehow blame me, and scape goat me. Just can’t get it. Father say mother is f-ing crazy and that I see with my own eyes, mother say that father is manipulator, and abuser - and that also truth do experience that. Do not want spend time with neither of them. But that they also do not allow. Mother explain her abuse towards me - because contact crazy father, father explain his abuse toward me that I contact with crazy mother. My brain just short circuit, lose -lose situation. Whatever I do I got blamed and punished. And feel shame and guilt and fear of punishment. Just can’t get how to deal with all that? Need help please. And other ploy that exactly father use on me all my life in conflict situations (with mother I went no contact because she was too over the top for me). So pattern of some DARVO or something cant get it straight. So to try to solve issues with father why he acts abusive, lies, do not keep promises, and treats me bad and so on, his reaction on my words is - YOU JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER!!! SHE BLAME ME EXACTLY IN SAME THINGS, SHE TOTALLY CARZY hence you must be crazy too for bringing that issues up!!!! YOU ARE TRAITOR!!!!!! I’LL TEACH YOU A LESSON!!!!! Will fix your perception of me!!!! - He becomes super pissed off and offended - abuse escalates, problem is not solved. I end up freeze up, baffled, confused, frustrated, start to feel shame and guilt, anger, just total mess in my head, brain melts - I do not want to be like my crazy abusive mother - that my huge fear, am super scared of that and even gave to myself in childhood vow of avoiding being like her -huge pain button . By that ploy father send message that he is perfect, infallible - that problem I bring up do not exist at all, that problem is in me - and he will just continue doing what he is doing, just avoid any responsibility, deny problem, if there is no problem hence he does not need to change anything in his behavior. And he turn all on me and he feel himself free in righteous anger to punish me, to teach me a lesson - because I same way crazy as his first wife (my mother whom he hates so hard), and I betray him and am un-loyal to him by saying that he hurting me with his words and actions, lies, abuse, broken promises. Abuse -> my reaction on abuse appeal to solve problem -> my reaction used for abuse escalation (and problem is not solved). Just am baffled, and stuck there, so scary. Any help is welcome.
My mom... She would know exactly what to say, or how to direct her words, or who to talk to in the family to totally control and make her will... She became so toxic, that even by playing cards, if she was losing, she would finish the game... Abruptly by throwing the cards all over... Without me... These people are trash... 6 months no contact... And thriving!! 🚮😍😅🤗
Mine never admits that she s wrong even if she is , every word that comes out of my mouth has to be corrected, yelling swearing and screaming never ends from her side All these because she doesn’t get her way She wants to leave but she s afraid She doesn’t have an income so she s depending on me and that’s what’s killing her.
"Mine never admits that she s wrong even if she is , every word that comes out of my mouth has to be corrected"....all day every day.... I felt that dude!
Nothing really.. Instead honestly I’d have to ask, why are you only with someone who only provides finances?.. That’s your only reason to have them in life? Just leave.
They lie to you! He smear me after discard and that's the way they really feel. Not true to use you. I never had the mighty love and don't want it when you put a man before God. He became the mighty love. It was nice and fake.
Hi, I guess the narcissists are empaths too. But they have chosen the wrong path. They abuse the honest empaths and they try to make the nice empaths cold (as often they can).
They go for the kindest, gentlest, most loving of us. It's literally a spiritual issue: good and evil.
I’m a firm believer that if you’ve done everything you can to help a relationship it’s time to move on because if people don’t want to change it’s because they don’t care too and seeing narcissism through a biblical perspective has enlightened me so much and giving me the strength to move forward
They never change. They talk the talk but never walk the walk.
Amen. I hear you. I feel the same way. Stay blessed and encouraged in God in Jesus name. Amen and Amen.
That makes sense. We don't always know that without a lot of hassle, experience, and now study through fantastic resources like this
Biblical prospective = Demons, morally corrupt spirits, 'derelict spirit' ones born without souls/souls of darkness to cause chaos and suffering on to Earth as a curse spoken of in Hebrewic text. Narcissist are the single most dangerous thing on Earth, and we see their destruction in every aspect of Humanity from world leaders to our families
@@msdemeanour oOoOO. That good👍🏻.
Michelle you made me laugh with that Narcs have good taste in partners comment. Yes I agree some of the nicest people I've ever met were in the comment section of your channel. You and this awesome community have helped me so much.
Cheers to you both.
“I feel like narcissists have good taste.”
Yes, we here all concur! 😆 🥰
I thought we were best friends, then I wasted so much time, and tired of getting picked on, I just left, no fighting or arguing,just left, and it’s been more than 2 months and I feel better every day
They show us what we need to heal in ourselves and learn to give to ourselves.
I was recovering from a on and off long time narcissistic relationship. When one day I happened upon a person who I thought was a nice man.we were friends for about 10 months and when he went away it was like going to the withdrawal of the previous relationship again. I now see I did not give myself enough time to get over my long-term relationship. And the minute someone else made me happy I thought they were the antidote. Instead of healing my own inner child . This video is just right on the money
I am at that point, yet was strong enough to resist the hoovering of a hotie... Luckily i blocked him... And I know the Lord will send me someone much better... Narcissists are boring... It s all about them and their inflated ego... 🚮🏃♀️
They wouldn't even have to ask. They could be silently observing behaviors to crack the code. Also trial and error. They say , you look beautiful, and the target's eyes light up and they are happy the whole day or week after that. ♡
This! I was thinking sometimes you do t have to say anything at all. Simply appearing in need is enough for them to try and rope you in.
So true. These people choose their targets carefully.
Just like the love bomb, after they have you hooked, they feed you scraps, it's all about the game 🎯 they play, false hope, keeps you stuck, like a drug, 🐈 and mouse 🐁 game, great video Michelle thanks 👍 we got this everyone, have a great day everyone and you have confidence in yourself you are somebody special or the narcissist wouldn't of picked you.
Absolutely
Essential daily viewing to brainwash one's self from a unhealthy to healthy relationship 💟
Yes!
This is a good lesson. You have taught me alot about narcissists. Everything you say I have been through. Thank you.
Excellent video. As long as we are looking for someone else to be the healthy parent we never had, we are giving away our power to that person. We must learn to identify and heal our own wounds to be truly healthy and free from exploitation.
It’s crazy, I told him what I’d never gotten before, and he still didn’t and doesn’t give it to me. I have so many wounds and trauma that I’ve suffered. Yet and still he knows all of the hurt I’ve been through and there are so many things I bend over backwards to do for him and he would never do the same for me. SMH
The “false hope” is sooo real. I’ve been promised the same thing for YEARS and every time the topic comes up, there’s an excuse and then I get blamed for why he hasn’t fulfilled that promise. So it’s always a bargain for the one thing I’ve asked about for over a decade.
Wow...I moved down to her after our first separation, I was homeless and working two jobs just to be with her.
I bought her gifts, showed every bit of love I had.
But she never returned it. So after we moved back into our own place again...6 months and I had nothing left to give.
Damn you taylor.
are you telling me that these people harvest your deepest insecurities fears etc and spread that information to other people when you think they are a trusted person? i’m lit beside myself
I have witnessed red flags with my relationship. During the relationship she would tell me about her toxic family and friends in the beginning. After a few years, I was hopeful she would overcome her insecurities. I'm happy that she was able to pursue her career goals and make a difference for herself. I noticed the controlling, manipulation and gaslighting. I don't like to argue and noticed that I gave her the more she took without giving back. In the end she left me for a rebound guy. Lesson learned.
When we feel mistreated we need to leave that person and move on. I would write a letter which I have done many times and just say it all. What they do with that information is their business. There will be no more back and forth struggle.
I continue to look for honest advice and feedback from other’s who have experienced something similar. I am struggling on the path forward and would love to hear from others. Long story short, for almost 18 years, I have been married to someone who has narcissistic traits. Our marriage has been struggling for a few years now; about 2 months ago we attended our 19th marriage counseling session together. At that session I told my wife that somehow our marriage needs to drastically get better quickly, or I feel we need pull the plug and end our marriage since we have been going to marriage counseling for far longer than we probably should have been going; and not much, if anything, improved. Part of me was hopeful that this was going to be the warning shot and my wife would finally hear me; that she would finally understand that I am done with the narcissistic type of behavior, done with the mean comments, the high level of control, and being made out to feel like I am never doing the right thing, never doing it quickly enough, etc. Unfortunately, the few weeks after that counselling sessions things did not improve, they actually seemed worse. For example, one morning I started her car so it was warm for her when she left for work (which I do for her quite often). I wasn’t looking for a pat on the back, but she very rudely said “oh, thank you so much for everything you do”. One day I went and bought a snow shovel and salted and cleaned the ice from the sidewalk. Instead of getting any type of thanks or appreciation, she told me that it is so interesting that I had time to go to Dollar General (which is about 3 miles from our house) and buy a new shovel and salt. I got criticized for doing laundry and putting in on ‘her side’ of the bed and not having it moved off of the bed so she could lay down at night without having to touch laundry. I got criticized for having the space heater on in the living room. I got criticized for eating all the lasagna; when in fact I put it in a Tupperware container so she could take it in her lunch. I got questioned on going for a walk along the river. It was just relentless verbal attacks. By no means am I a perfect husband, I am far from it, and I have made plenty of mistakes, but I have always tried to be loving and supportive and take care of her and our kids. I have dealt with this type of narcissistic behavior for a very long time. Just another example, I recently learned why I was in severe pain for a couple of days this past summer; I was passing a 6mm kidney stone. While I was in pain, I got in a hot bath to try and alleviate some of the pain. I recall vividly her making a mean comment that I was in the bath while she was doing something for the kids. I have agonized over the decision for many months, and probably years now, but about 5 weeks ago I asked for divorce and have been moved out since that time. She said it wasn’t fair and that I blindsided her, even though we have attended those 19 marriage counseling sessions together; I reluctantly agreed to separation for now. For the last five weeks, I have been buried in loving texts, pictures of our kids and of some fun memories in the past, she sent me the wedding song that we danced too, she has been sending me quotes from the bible, she asked that I listen to various books on making marriages work, etc; she asked that I meet with our Deacon at church and attend a church marriage weekend retreat. She has buried me in a variety of, what I would consider ‘tactics’, to try and get me back home; she has thrown our vows in my face multiple times and said that I am destroying the kids by moving out. I have been holding strong and have not caved by moving back in; recently she has been all over the board with her comments and emotions. Seems silly talking about, but we own a car and a truck. For the last 5 weeks I have drove the truck and she has had the car. Roughly a week ago she said she wants the truck, which is no problem, but I asked her why; she said she doesn’t need to answer why, she just wants it. She said she plans on keeping the truck for a few weeks since its not fair that I got to drive it for a few weeks (I don’t know the intentions of this, other than some form of power play, or maybe knowing if she has the truck, I won’t be able to use it to do things I enjoy). She also seems to be getting controlling with the kids; she told me that I am the one who decided to leave them, so its not fair for me to ever get both of our kids overnight while she is alone, since she didn’t decide to leave. I reminded her that I didn’t leave the kids, that I only left her. Shortly after making these types of comments, she follows up with a load of very nice loving texts. This is all extremely hard for me, because she occasionally acts nice and says she is willing to try and change, but seems all over the place with her comments and emotions; I’m afraid I will fall back into the trap. Over the last few days she has attempted to be nice, although almost to the point of smothering because I have asked for time and space, but she seems to refuse to give that to me. Here recently she has been very frequently saying “I Love You”; almost over using the words. She has made multiple attempts to try and be affectionate, which in a normal circumstance would be fine, but not after we are separated. I worry greatly about our kids, I feel she is subjecting them to a ton of sadness and possibly emotional manipulation, with the intentions being of playing the victim card in front of the kids and trying to make them feel bad for her and make me out to look like the bad guy (she told me she is always crying in front of the kids…and even yesterday when I saw her she cried multiple times in front of the kids). Even though I asked for divorce, I still do not wish her unhappiness; I just want everyone to get along and be nice and supportive with everyone. To make matters even more frustrating, recently she told me she was offered a job in Michigan (about 5 hours from where we currently live in Ohio). I am settled here in Ohio now, have a good job here, etc. I am happy for her that she was offered the job, I know that is more what she wants to do versus her current job, so that part makes me happy; but come on, wanting to relocate now while we are separated. I feel like she is doing everything she can to try and make things difficult for me, especially with our 2 kids. It’s just very inconsistent, it can change by the day, or even by the hour; sometimes she is sweet and nice, then there are plenty of moments of comments and actions that just aren’t nice. I’m struggling on the path forward, so any words of advice would be greatly appreciated.
I hope things sorted well for you! Your message, your story, all you have been is emotionally exhausting and I am sorry for what you were going through. 🙏
He never filled or healed my wound, he consistently created more of a wound~ but I grew up thinking this was love 😔 finding my self worth got me Free!!
5:43 Horse racing is horrifically unethical. People need to know that. Never bet money on those horse race tracks. Never give money to animal exploitation.
I find that since I've encountered men who try to exploit vulnerabilities, it has made me afraid to express interest in any guys. I don't know if they show interest back genuinely or if they are just faking emotions to take advantage.
Sharon Stone said: Women fake orgasms but men fake whole relationships.
I agree with you. Same here.
Whatever you choice/decision just remember this stuff isn’t gender based.. The toxic treatment is showing is parts of our selves that we need to work on... blessings on your journey. Peace and love
I've learned that you have to love yourself before you can expect others to love you 😊
Don't seek validation outside your self. Give your self the validation you need.
Fill this hole inside you, build confidence.
Self love doesn't have to be something negative 😊🥰 I recommend reading the books of Louis Hay. 😍😊
Michele this is so liberating to know. I stayed with my Ex Narc and the father of my child past the time I should have left. He preyed early in the beginning of the relationship. Because he knew I grew up in a toxic home with both my parents.
Spot on. I was just discarded hard by my covert narcissist husband (first clue I had that I was with a narc), but just a month ago he was still giving me compliments and praise that I lapped up bc I never got that from my uber critical mom.
Sorry to hear that. Just curious did he ever say why as of yet?
Thank you for a great piece of advice. It resonates so much with what I have been through.
Thanks never heard that before . Really explains why I do what I do
These videos are opening my eyes so much!
What makes me not leave my emotionally abusive narcissist is that he is my "in case of emergency" person. I am a grown completelt $elf-$upporting woman. My dad was all I had and he died. Before he died I had courage not to take crap from anybody, and when I figured out what they were, I quickly left each one of them. If I leave this one, I will just have to find some other person to have for a relationship and they might be worse. I don't want to have something unfortunate happen and nobody to call. The price is each day my life is mildly unfortunate in a different way.
I feel the same way
So true!!!
Sad. You might never had a “relationship”. When dad gives UNCONDITIONALY everything he is able to SMALL daughter and daughter takes, both are happy… BUT THIS IS GONE
@@rolandasrol4621 I'm only saying that my father was my last surviving family member. And he has now passed away.
@@chellybabyme sorry for that; I was referring to the first part of your statement.
Sadly, there are some wounds that you just can't heal on your own, or at all. These are seemingly very few and fairly rare. You can only really distract yourself and remember that you have this exploitable vulnerability and guard it at all cost.
I know I will probably never heal from the way I was treated growing up. I get very overwhelmed by it despite having talk therapy and giving 50 years. I'm sure my emotional scars are evident to most people who get to know me and I have no problem explaining my past. I do not 'cover' for abusers. Therefore I know I am easy pickings for a narc. After marrying and escaping from one, I do not make friendships or relationships any more. I have coworkers and acquaintances. I will not allow anything further to develop. I am too damaged.
Outstanding video. Thank you!
Very powerful video. Thanks
Wow I was that person, she was there and everything she show me that I can be love. Soon as we got married that person said find me. Its like somebody took the rug off under me. The person I was looking for she never came back, I even started paying for her love and it was never enough. She took advantage of me,she took my heart and use me. She hurt so bad that I will not let another near me. Ill be at peace with me my self and i.
Amazingly Accurate! Thank You!!
She doesn't leave him, she doesn't want him to stop being him, she wants to control him.
Spot on!!! Fantastic vid. Thank you.
Thank you I noticed Iam stuck being in one sided relationships even friendships Iam the one always reaching out making plans etc . I wish someone would call or text me or reach out doesn't have to be everyday every once in a while would be nice . I am tired of feeling drained by people like that .
So true, I went through this stage with my narc ex-wife. Thanks Michele.
I stayed 28 years. Wanted a great marriage. Thought I picked such a great husband. Don't know how I was SO deluded.
Very true and I'm in that situation.
Thank you 🙌
Oiiiii this gave me a headache... (Not because of you Michele or the video just a lot of sad to process)
Thankyou
I was with a female narcissist for 16years.
It was alway one side and after the first month it became a sexless relationship. I gave her everything, but I was always the bad guy and i was never good enough.
Now I feel like I was the narcissist and she was the victim.
I constantly question everything I do now
I have no confidence and haven't for a long time.
I was the one that asked her to leave, but now would do anything to have her back.
Feel the same way. Married 21 yrs; found out my wife had a multi mth affair. Now she says loves me and misses me and doesn’t want to leave or have me leave. Not sure since the trust is broken.
It’s time we exploit them back.
I love your channel!! My life with my narcissist wife..( covert).. is KILLING ME.. I told her to hear and watch videos like this that match up perfectly with her actions and verbal abuse .. the “ go to “ gaslighting comments.. how sad it makes my heart to know I’m in a horrible place with a cold manipulative mean nasty narcissist
If they know it is bothering you it will just get worse . That is what they get off on by being able to control you while they are thinking he he he he , making them more superior .
@@purplethumb8440 my new answer to her ??.. is.. hey I have an idea .. stfu and go worry bout what mask ya gonna wear today is.. or just because you say it my dear poor soul.. does not make it a fact
They'll use the fact you're watching these videos against you. And as you become enlightened they will say you're trying to destroy them.
Exellent comparison to the drug dealer
I am getting so well, that I even feel this manipulation on the phone, where my patients, specially the male ones are asking out of place questions to see if you fall for their lines, he gives me a trip around the world in 2 minutes prank... Then I block them without mercy... And nobody gets hurted... Where before I would always second guess the situation... Should I believe his lies and and... I think the main hint that I have noticed with them many times, is that they try to get personal in the conversation... That s a big RedFlag, and i hope in the future i just spot the phoniness of their words in the act and cut it loose... Afterwards, you feel drained, robbed, so as always with them is a waste of time...
You are wonderfull you helpt me so much true the years. Thank You ♥️
Actually I stayed longer than I should have for the simple reason I could not afford to leave. He threatened to bankrupt me in court, he made most all the money, he emptied the joint accounts, and I had no relatives to turn to. I was in danger and so I bought a door knob with a lkey lock to keep me and my stuff safe within the house. I think if women had more support and resources they would leave more readily. (And don't even say call the police. You are bringing more trouble on to yourself)
Wow. So good!
I feel terrible. Realise the stonewalling, being invisible and invalid as a human IS EXACTLY WHAT I GOT FROM A STEPMUM who then had my v hard working hardly there father, stone wall, emotionally neglect, and they both gaslit and scapegoated me after I was the golden child before they married. Yrs later my friend (who is my voluntary carer after sexual assault, he called 999 & police thought him a person of safety. Exact words. He touches me no matter how inappropriate and I ve said such and appeared a temptress or something. He appears wealthy but isn't. He's awful.) I'm now broken inside, angry, my boundaries aren't working, police are embarrassed and hoping it will go away or I'm misreading things. He's 72. I'm 37. Like I'm being abused by a grandad. He will deny his touching 'jokes' to anyone officially tho. I ve quit drinking which was his fave counter blame. Never to me tho. He never talks. Only talks in the phone hoping to hear how shit I'm feeling for supply or where I'm going etc. He followed me for a time too. His age has me feel silly. He knows what he's doing. I found trophies in a wardrobe. Horrible ones. I stole a handful in disbelief. He knows their gone tho. He hates me but needs a bird in a cafe to poke. I ve managed 9wks NC. I lied n said the police were involved about his stalking and it was up to me if I wanted anything done. He answered THAT one time. Smirking without eye contact, pretending to busy himself he said "let them come to me." I ve said some awful things in retaliation to his emotional neglect etc. I had a bad migraine last month. Swollen eyes the lot. Had been trying to get thru to him for 2 whole days and never slept the nights. Soon as I said my head hurt & could I turn out his light, he grabbed a hammer and began badly chipping off tiles after saying rest for half an hr. He laughed. He bins my things. Hoards his. He's a key he denies having, I can't afford new locks, he's lost my bank card the bank say I ve no I'd worthy enough for another. All my paperwork is gone. He gets me up, even tho I live in my own home, rings all the time, my neighbour punched him for loitering. He convinced police he told me later that he was the victim. Tho he pulled a knife out. He carries weapons sometimes and deludes himself with war movies he has on repeat that he's in control. The avenger type fragile narc best fits. My diagnosed CPTSD is thru the roof. Got 1st in almost 3yrs. He handed me his phone n told me to Google help when I was fainting & threw his dog balls to my left, right and I was knocked over by it. His STILL FACE is 24/7 & everything seems like DAMAGE LIMITATION with him. I need this to END. Will I say something that finally triggers a response and he ll hurt me or will I flip and hut him badly more than intended as contrary to his belief, he's frail IMO. The age gap was so obvious I never thought he d only be grooming sexual contact from me. Said he's impotent. That eased my initial worry. Viagra capsules are stuffed everywhere. Wtf? Had a year of cognitive dissonance. I'm acting out by not washing, cleaning or anything at home. This has been 2yrs and 6months of my life. I even hoped he would get covid and buggar off. What can I possibly do. I know the psychology. TY Sam Vaknin. But truly -, I can't fake getting better when if it wasn't for my dog I d just sleep my life away. No family or friends in area. V rural and remote. I'm fkd. Sorry, but I'm certainly not suicidal. I'm crying for help minus tears tho... No one understands except online ppl who ve studied or experienced it. It's EVERYWHERE. Caroline, 37 Dingwall 🏴✌🏻❤️🙏🏻🦊🐕
Thanks your great
Exactly!!!
zero dislike
Your right, ...they are very good at (soul searching) and completing our puzzled life (so to speak) I was "love bombed" this way and it does work very well for them, these small victories give them ample narc-supply. The human being is an "evolving creature" at every turn and experience whether good or difficult,...he is as motivated and relenting as the relentless beating of his very human heart....he does not give up, if he does, then he was truly in LOVE....and your right, it is this TYPE that usually end's up very devastated by the narc'...and may never heal completely because they don't know how to fall out of LOVE with the narcissist. Thanks Michele, your videos are so inspiring and in so many ways!!! peace :D
How do you know when I need a video
Can you PLEASE do a video on bi- polar narcissist? Because this is my situation.. my wife takes meds for this ... and when the “ cycle “ hits? For the most part it’s when she is having a bi- polar episode
How can you identify the wound?
Can’t find links ????
This is so out of topic but I’ve been seeing few of your videos and the picture for the video looks like your holding guitar😂
I do not know what to do with that deep fear that displeasing any parent is dangerous. And being myself doing my things displease them. Make them abusive - covert abusive, sabotaging me -all of course under the mask of “good intentions”. Their first premise that I’m wrong, too dumb, too little (infantilize me) from there they draw conclusion that I need constant guidance and control from their side. Easy as that. Try to prove them wrong - it’s impossible, there logical fallacy appeal to ignorance kick in - if you can’t prove them wrong hence they are right - so get stuck in that fallacious logic like in quicksand and swamp. That also reinforce that seeds of doubts they plant in me, as you said delete all good focus on bad - worst case scenario. Narrow down vector of attention to worst case scenario and provide solution to created problem - their control, and “guidance” (being under their thumb). Just do not know how to untangle myself from that spiders web? How it is possible?
Plus in my case that weird conflict between parents kick in - crazy mother blame all on father - father played nice do see him rarely so do not trust mother, and protect father. Then when after breaking out from crazy mother she was for real crazy ( but it somehow was all fathers fault somehow and all people who are on his side including me), so after dealing with father do find out that he is also crazy. And there mother start to blame see I always told you - you did not listen, bla bla bla you betray me and cause all harm!!! Shame and guilt. Totally confused mother was totally nuts and abusive - it impossible that all her issues was because of covert narc father and his ally like me. So I end up in total confusion and shame and guilt - that all that years I was hurting mother because do contact with covert narc father. Covert narc father explain all his abuse and bad behavior by blaming crazy, covert nark mother that she make him like that - so I should forget forgive and help him to heal from his first wife abuse, even more he blamed me for being ally with cover narc mother.
My head just spinning and brain melting. I end up ashamed and guilty, in all family problems, in problems of each parent, and ashamed for contacting each and every parent. And each parent justify his or her abuse and neglect toward my person because I somehow on other parent side. I just can’t get that, my brain is short-circuited and can’t get rid of that shame and guilt and fear. I do try all the time to make peace between parents, to protect father in front of mothers abuse, or mother in front fathers abuse, to make them friend, do want healthy family where parents do not fight all the time and at state of war, but end up as worst person on earth to both parents - guilty and responsible literally for all their problems and issues. And here the catch - Who is guilty that person deserve punishment and abuse and should fix situation, compensate detriment (that somehow as legal justice system works in essence). So both parents demand from me compensation, fixing detriment, and feel themselves free to punish me as deserved justice for my “crimes”. And of course use enablers to do the same. I just can’t get that, how to solve that issue? It from distance looks logical but something is totally wrong with all that. That drives me crazy. People please help
Can’t get that thing in my life - trap do fall all the time. So structure seems looks like that - abuse -> my reaction on abuse appeal to solve problem -> my reaction used for abuse escalation (and problem is not solved). Again some role reversal DARVO.
So problem long in the narc dysfunctional family family. So mother and father had war all the time, mother in woo woo cult and blame fatter in some woo woo and acts crazy in general covert narc no doubt about that, from tons of shit for example most coherent accusations of her was blame him being fake just and actor-pretender, traitor, cause harm, use money as a tool, being covert aggressive. So as a little child I do not can make any sense of what going on do see father very rarely he treats me mostly nice at that short times, mother treats me hostile and are abusive. So I gravitate more towards father of course. So later in life when barely survive life in biological mothers house do separate from her and live alone, do try to live with father in different country far away. He promise me some paradise. After starting to live with him do encounter that he is abusive, neglectful, fake, un-caring, rude, do not keep promises, and treats me badly. That start to make me think was mother right and I do fight with her protecting him in vain? But she so obviously was not okay, and anarchistic and abusive, she could day after day knock with her teeth making terrible sound year after year claiming that she heals people like that and tons of other totally insane stuff. So my brain short circuits - how she could be right? If I admit that father full of shit that somehow makes her 100% right and I’m guilty in front of her because she intensively blame and guilt trip me for contacting father and how badly that affects her that I make her to suffer she got illnesses and it’s all my fault of not following her cult rules. So huge paradox in my head - how that abusive and sadistic person who yell at me every day of my life - mother can be right about father? But facts show that he is also not okay, and that portion of her words seems right of him being fake, rude, two-face, narcissistic, who betray me personally causing lot of harm when do live with him. That melts my brain. Do have two abuser - covert narcissist - who cave in all that pile of manure and abuse some crumbs of truth. And both parents somehow blame me, and scape goat me. Just can’t get it. Father say mother is f-ing crazy and that I see with my own eyes, mother say that father is manipulator, and abuser - and that also truth do experience that. Do not want spend time with neither of them. But that they also do not allow. Mother explain her abuse towards me - because contact crazy father, father explain his abuse toward me that I contact with crazy mother. My brain just short circuit, lose -lose situation. Whatever I do I got blamed and punished. And feel shame and guilt and fear of punishment. Just can’t get how to deal with all that? Need help please.
And other ploy that exactly father use on me all my life in conflict situations (with mother I went no contact because she was too over the top for me). So pattern of some DARVO or something cant get it straight. So to try to solve issues with father why he acts abusive, lies, do not keep promises, and treats me bad and so on, his reaction on my words is - YOU JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER!!! SHE BLAME ME EXACTLY IN SAME THINGS, SHE TOTALLY CARZY hence you must be crazy too for bringing that issues up!!!! YOU ARE TRAITOR!!!!!! I’LL TEACH YOU A LESSON!!!!! Will fix your perception of me!!!! - He becomes super pissed off and offended - abuse escalates, problem is not solved. I end up freeze up, baffled, confused, frustrated, start to feel shame and guilt, anger, just total mess in my head, brain melts - I do not want to be like my crazy abusive mother - that my huge fear, am super scared of that and even gave to myself in childhood vow of avoiding being like her -huge pain button . By that ploy father send message that he is perfect, infallible - that problem I bring up do not exist at all, that problem is in me - and he will just continue doing what he is doing, just avoid any responsibility, deny problem, if there is no problem hence he does not need to change anything in his behavior. And he turn all on me and he feel himself free in righteous anger to punish me, to teach me a lesson - because I same way crazy as his first wife (my mother whom he hates so hard), and I betray him and am un-loyal to him by saying that he hurting me with his words and actions, lies, abuse, broken promises. Abuse -> my reaction on abuse appeal to solve problem -> my reaction used for abuse escalation (and problem is not solved).
Just am baffled, and stuck there, so scary. Any help is welcome.
My mom... She would know exactly what to say, or how to direct her words, or who to talk to in the family to totally control and make her will... She became so toxic, that even by playing cards, if she was losing, she would finish the game... Abruptly by throwing the cards all over... Without me... These people are trash... 6 months no contact... And thriving!! 🚮😍😅🤗
Get them to see a sense of Reality "with" them in it turns to self harm. What is that called? Money?...
Karma.
examples of childhood experiences and the wound crested...??
Mine never admits that she s wrong even if she is , every word that comes out of my mouth has to be corrected, yelling swearing and screaming never ends from her side
All these because she doesn’t get her way
She wants to leave but she s afraid
She doesn’t have an income so she s depending on me and that’s what’s killing her.
"Mine never admits that she s wrong even if she is , every word that comes out of my mouth has to be corrected"....all day every day.... I felt that dude!
I think this is happening to me but I don’t want to believe it 😣. Please don’t let this be true
Right there with you
Can I be honest with you about something
What do you say a narc who just provide basic financial support but nothing else
Nothing really.. Instead honestly I’d have to ask, why are you only with someone who only provides finances?.. That’s your only reason to have them in life? Just leave.
That’s why men need to always pay the bills, if they don’t then they are abusers
They lie to you! He smear me after discard and that's the way they really feel. Not true to use you. I never had the mighty love and don't want it when you put a man before God. He became the mighty love. It was nice and fake.
LIKE
PRESS IT
SMASH IT
But shes able to get up to eat out every freaking day.
Hi, I guess the narcissists are empaths too. But they have chosen the wrong path. They abuse the honest empaths and they try to make the nice empaths cold (as often they can).
@Allen B thanks. I'll watch it as soon as I can. 🍀
@Allen B. Thanks again. I watched it. 👍⭐
It s only story telling on the net 😂
this is not a very good guide on how to be a narcissist, was I supposed to learn something
You stay because you're poor and have no car.