Theres forgetfulness, which demands respect. And to those that are outright dishonest they should shelve their feelings as God and any higher power is real. Pay attention and make a path at least.
A timely and cathartic episode for me as I’m working through what forgiveness actually looks like for me and not what the religious background I came from portrays
Solo episodes are my favorites. And this subject in particular is very important to me. I never forget. You hurt I forever remember. And I do not think I have to forgive those who hurt me in order to move on. Thank you for this episode.
Ms Seales, you are a champion for self awareness and yet, you courageously bear the costs of it.! I am in awe of what you are building. Keep doing, it big sis!
Friend… this is an amazing episode!! I just got in a fight with my sister over the weekend where she told me “I should forgive” another family member. I wish I would have watched this before the fight.
This episode was everything. As a person that has lost friends for making bad choices the reality that it’s the other persons choice to either forgive and still remove you from there life is real. It’s painful still
i got a lot out of this. i always enjoy your intellect & sense of humor. Happy to know about the healing that’s taken place between you & your Mom. Side note: Every time i watch your videos, i low-key always look for you to imitate your Mom. i get such a kick out of that LOL! GOD Bless You & Yours Amanda.
YYAAAAASSSSSSS!!!! Queen, Preach!!! I can forgive you and know that you don't need to stay in my space! Amanda... You are one of my "besties" in my head!
I just started watching the video 0:34 but I hope that this teaches me a bit about why I find it hard to forgive. Or forget rather. I usually am one and done. Easy for a friend but harder when it comes to marriage with a child. Thank you, in advance Amanda. ❤
You already know authenticity is freedom. You mean a lot to so many. I’ve always felt like you’re able to see people. Mirroring them. Because what you want most is to show them the way. Knowledge. Intellectually evolving them and never getting recognition for your selfless gift. I see it. We’re in such an emotionally vibrant moment and lowkey we need to save tf world n I think u feel it too. Somehow if you read me, this might relate and peak your curiosity. Peep the indigenous spirit called “heyoka” 🙏
Thank you for always being so open and honest. And always sharing your throwback stories. Because you are a true inspiration. Side note I love your hair. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I had to come back after watching Side Effects of Growth , you are touching on some triggers and frustrations, basically trauma bonding from generational unhealed traumas. I can't be the only one addressing the harmful actions. I watched the film as well THANK YOU!
Good episode. Two thoughts. 1. The best apology is changed behaviour. 2. Some people conflate forgiveness with reconciliation. You can forgive for your mental health and spirit, but still want nothing to do with the other person.
I’m known as the friend that will hold a grudge. I’ll miss the good times, but I cannot and will not circle the block because I don’t believe that ppl genuinely change. Only a few will make a conscious effort to do better, and I don’t have time to determine if you will. Who tf I look like? Raven Baxter?
@Amanda, Gurrrrlllllll You hit the nail on the head. "Narccisst do be drinking those damn teas! I had one and fleeted his ass out of my life. Thank you for this.
I definitely made the mistake of forgiving to easily without people earning it or acknowledging that they were not ready for forgiveness because they still exhibited the same behaviors repeatedly!!!
Their behaviors will continue, you just do not have to accept it. Forgiveness isn’t something that is earned from the transgressor, it’s something you work towards in spite of their behavior. It’s something that I’m also working through and what I’m realizing is that I deserve peace in my spirit, my body deserves to feel safe and I am willing to do whatever it takes for my own sanity. Their apologies will come when God awakens them to themselves. 🤍
@@iantheellison4635 Thank you for your reply! I needed to read these words. One of my college professors gave our class some good advice. Learn to accept the apology you may never hear.
forgiveness is for acknowledging the wrong that was done. It's also being held accountable and responsible for why asking for forgiveness was neccessary. it also means to see some behavioral changes within that person. That it's daily practiced. I so do like your explanation and definition of forgiveness.
Oh yeah, first comment and I know I need this. Especially as it relates to several in my own family. I think Im a very forgiving person but...I think I'm currently harboring some stuff iinternally y'all...le sigh. 😔 God bless the reader. ✌🏽🙌🏽
Finally got around to the Patreon questions for this one and if y'all aren't already locked in...........🥴 WHOLE lotta gem droppin' 💎💎💎 Precious stones!
Early childhood maladaptive schema and ACE. Two good books: lisa nichols no matter what and post Traumatic slave Syndrome by dr joy degruy (help understand generational trauma)
I think your perspective would have been a valuable input in these reconciliation commissions where victims of heinous crimes were expected to move on with their lives with a basic "I'm sorry "
.If you can't set your ego aside long enough to give a meaningful apology, don't try to pressure or guilt trip me into forgiving you........A meaningful apology involves the perpetrator engaging in introspection to determine why they did what they did so that it won't happen again.........A meaningful apology requires a change in behavior.....but for narcissistic people, everything is YOUR responsibility nothing is theirs......they did what they did and now they feel u should just get over it and stop inconveniencing them with your hurt feelings and subsequently distant behavior
To me, forgiveness is letting go of the grudge and having peace about an individual (or group) and not wanting revenge. Forgiveness is necessary for health, because when we don't forgive we hold resentment and bitterness, that contribute to a multitude of health problems. Forgiveness is not a pass, and I don't think ppl should TELL ppl they forgive them. Forgive yes, do not broadcast forgiveness. Them knowing whether they've been forgiven is between, them and God.
You can gain peace about a situation by knowing God and karma will avenge you. Knowing you are not responsible to fix the other person lifts a burden. Just focus on making yourself better. Also, forgiveness is the place where boundaries are placed.
Forgiveness should not be a bargaining chip, or withheld as a punishment because now you're being manipulative. To say, I'm not forgiving you until I see behavior changes is not forgiveness. That's an attempt to control. You can disengage if behavior doesn't change, but forgiveness is really for yourself in letting go of the grudge. You can change your behavior towards a person, but to want someone else to change because of your forgiveness is not real forgiveness.
People definitely get the biblical definition wrong in my opinion. Jesus as an example, did not blindly forgive anyone they had to repent. People like to skip that part. I used to be a peace keeper and that’s brought me nothing but disrespect and ungrateful people. I have developed major trust issues and I find people to naturally want to test how much they can push your buttons. As someone who has been called overly sensitive all my life, I do not understand this behavior. I just had to realize there are very few people who have a healthy relationship with even themselves so I can’t expect too much and I am glad I no longer feel the need to want to control someone else’s lack of self awareness. It is a privilege to know me and that’s my attitude after too long suffering from my lack of self worth.
You can forgive, but don't be blind to a person's poor character. If their character proves to be a liability, you gotta bound up with enforced boundaries and limitations of access.
Lol just a note: you’re mixing two of the SATC episodes together. The episode where she lost the dog was bc she was talking to BIG. The episode where they got back together was when the dog had diarrhea and she pulled up to aiden at the bar and he was talking to the girl
Amanda im sorry but the problem with your friend was that he didn't want to stick his neck out to support u....he didn't want to risk being criticized by his peers(other black men) for defending u or trying to bring clarity to your views as your friend.... but he was perfectly fine using ur professional clout to serve his own agenda......He was just trying to make you wrong with that smacking a table at me nonsense because in that moment he recognized he wasn't willing to reciprocate the positivity u had shown him
The FIRST 20 Seconds Amanda. WHEW!!!! I Felt Like This ENTIRE Episode Was Created & Made JUST. FOR. ME!!! Thanks Amanda. 30:45 Is My Favorite Part. #TEAMAMANDA #AMANDA4PREZ 🤍
![ALLY - OH MY! [ REACTION ] 'Amarin Nitibhon' #ALLY_OHMY #ALLY #allynitibhon #แอลลี่](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/nX9qpHjVfbQ/mqdefault.jpg)
Forgiveness does not always mean reconciliation.
That part! 💯💯💯💯
Theres forgetfulness, which demands respect. And to those that are outright dishonest they should shelve their feelings as God and any higher power is real. Pay attention and make a path at least.
Yes I learned the hard way to extend forgiveness while standing firm on denying access 🗣️‼️
"Forgiveness begins at accountability" - this blessed my whole soul. Thank you, Amanda
A timely and cathartic episode for me as I’m working through what forgiveness actually looks like for me and not what the religious background I came from portrays
"All Cancers believe in astrology"😂 Yessss Cancer venus here
Solo episodes are my favorites. And this subject in particular is very important to me. I never forget. You hurt I forever remember. And I do not think I have to forgive those who hurt me in order to move on. Thank you for this episode.
Ms Seales, you are a champion for self awareness and yet, you courageously bear the costs of it.! I am in awe of what you are building. Keep doing, it big sis!
I hope you keep having success with your podcast. Always support the truth. God bless Palestine and you.
Friend… this is an amazing episode!! I just got in a fight with my sister over the weekend where she told me “I should forgive” another family member. I wish I would have watched this before the fight.
This episode was everything. As a person that has lost friends for making bad choices the reality that it’s the other persons choice to either forgive and still remove you from there life is real. It’s painful still
omg Amanda I just watched "Women Talking"after watching this and I am weeeping! so good
i got a lot out of this. i always enjoy your intellect & sense of humor. Happy to know about the healing that’s taken place between you & your Mom.
Side note: Every time i watch your videos, i low-key always look for you to imitate your Mom. i get such a kick out of that LOL! GOD Bless You & Yours Amanda.
Theres a blessing in that, provided moving forward conpletes that soace &/or void.
That wasnt small!! ##atall
YYAAAAASSSSSSS!!!! Queen, Preach!!!
I can forgive you and know that you don't need to stay in my space!
Amanda... You are one of my "besties" in my head!
I just started watching the video 0:34 but I hope that this teaches me a bit about why I find it hard to forgive. Or forget rather. I usually am one and done. Easy for a friend but harder when it comes to marriage with a child. Thank you, in advance Amanda. ❤
LOVE you, Amanda! So happy to have found you 💕💕💕💕
You already know authenticity is freedom.
You mean a lot to so many. I’ve always felt like you’re able to see people. Mirroring them. Because what you want most is to show them the way. Knowledge. Intellectually evolving them and never getting recognition for your selfless gift. I see it.
We’re in such an emotionally vibrant moment and lowkey we need to save tf world n I think u feel it too. Somehow if you read me, this might relate and peak your curiosity. Peep the indigenous spirit called “heyoka” 🙏
Whew! This is a lot to take in.. forgiving my past self and deciding who gets to stay as I move forward.
This is so on time. 💫
Forgiveness is definitely a journey and I love the Sex and the City reference!
Just watched this, and what you said about Cancers...is so true!! LOL!! "Its' A Gift." Love your Podcast Amanda!
Right on time right on time amanda
“I Just gotta eat that” sacrifice is worth it as long as you trust the process.
Thank you for always being so open and honest. And always sharing your throwback stories. Because you are a true inspiration. Side note I love your hair. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
22:02 Meg's agile knees truly have so many life applications. 😌 🎯
Good content Amanda!!
I had to come back after watching Side Effects of Growth , you are touching on some triggers and frustrations, basically trauma bonding from generational unhealed traumas. I can't be the only one addressing the harmful actions. I watched the film as well THANK YOU!
As a Cancer sun , i am definitely off that train. Lol. Great video and definitely had my notepad writing down these gems! Thank you!
I loved it !!! Double knee and shoulder tap! Great walk Amanda! That lifted my spirit to see y’all do that for each other ❤
Enjoyed your thoughtful take on forgiveness. Shout-out from London.
so grateful for your podcasts Amanda! thank you for sharing your thoughts and stories
This is excellent!! On point! Thank you Amanda🙌🏽
Good episode. Two thoughts. 1. The best apology is changed behaviour. 2. Some people conflate forgiveness with reconciliation. You can forgive for your mental health and spirit, but still want nothing to do with the other person.
Thank you for this episode
This hit in soo many ways!! Definitely sharing!
Its hard to forgive, i try to work towards it
I’m known as the friend that will hold a grudge. I’ll miss the good times, but I cannot and will not circle the block because I don’t believe that ppl genuinely change. Only a few will make a conscious effort to do better, and I don’t have time to determine if you will. Who tf I look like? Raven Baxter?
@Amanda, Gurrrrlllllll You hit the nail on the head. "Narccisst do be drinking those damn teas! I had one and fleeted his ass out of my life. Thank you for this.
Totally on point for black folk in the white work space.
I’ve been mulling over for a while now whether or not to watch that movie and after you recommended it I finally did this morning.
That Cancer ♋️ thing is so True 😂
Agreed !Every Cancer is an astrologist by birth😂❤❤
I definitely made the mistake of forgiving to easily without people earning it or acknowledging that they were not ready for forgiveness because they still exhibited the same behaviors repeatedly!!!
Their behaviors will continue, you just do not have to accept it. Forgiveness isn’t something that is earned from the transgressor, it’s something you work towards in spite of their behavior. It’s something that I’m also working through and what I’m realizing is that I deserve peace in my spirit, my body deserves to feel safe and I am willing to do whatever it takes for my own sanity. Their apologies will come when God awakens them to themselves. 🤍
@@iantheellison4635 Thank you for your reply! I needed to read these words. One of my college professors gave our class some good advice. Learn to accept the apology you may never hear.
Damn Amanda!! Thank you for this! ❤
forgiveness is for acknowledging the wrong that was done. It's also being held accountable and responsible for why asking for forgiveness was neccessary. it also means to see some behavioral changes within that person. That it's daily practiced. I so do like your explanation and definition of forgiveness.
Im still learning how to forgive. Just when i think i let go of certain pains, resentments there they are triggering me out f the blue.
Oh yeah, first comment and I know I need this. Especially as it relates to several in my own family. I think Im a very forgiving person but...I think I'm currently harboring some stuff iinternally y'all...le sigh. 😔 God bless the reader. ✌🏽🙌🏽
This is a great topic and I couldn’t agree with you more.
Amazing episode 🥹👏🏽
Finally got around to the Patreon questions for this one and if y'all aren't already locked in...........🥴 WHOLE lotta gem droppin' 💎💎💎 Precious stones!
Welp, I didn't come across this video by accident. About to go take a ride and listen.
That Sex and the City reference is everything 😭
Amanda Seals ❤yes
Early childhood maladaptive schema and ACE. Two good books: lisa nichols no matter what and post Traumatic slave Syndrome by dr joy degruy (help understand generational trauma)
See!!!! When you KNOW you KNOW
Scriptures says "if they repent" THEN you forgive. It's transactional. A two way street.
I think your perspective would have been a valuable input in these reconciliation commissions where victims of heinous crimes were expected to move on with their lives with a basic "I'm sorry "
This is the best one
i needed this. thank you
We. Just. Had. Church.
… you guys!!!! lol
Forgiveness is overrated but letting go is always needed fsho
how you so wise Amanda?! smart pickney dem!
.If you can't set your ego aside long enough to give a meaningful apology, don't try to pressure or guilt trip me into forgiving you........A meaningful apology involves the perpetrator engaging in introspection to determine why they did what they did so that it won't happen again.........A meaningful apology requires a change in behavior.....but for narcissistic people, everything is YOUR responsibility nothing is theirs......they did what they did and now they feel u should just get over it and stop inconveniencing them with your hurt feelings and subsequently distant behavior
To me, forgiveness is letting go of the grudge and having peace about an individual (or group) and not wanting revenge. Forgiveness is necessary for health, because when we don't forgive we hold resentment and bitterness, that contribute to a multitude of health problems. Forgiveness is not a pass, and I don't think ppl should TELL ppl they forgive them. Forgive yes, do not broadcast forgiveness. Them knowing whether they've been forgiven is between, them and God.
You can gain peace about a situation by knowing God and karma will avenge you. Knowing you are not responsible to fix the other person lifts a burden. Just focus on making yourself better. Also, forgiveness is the place where boundaries are placed.
Forgiveness should not be a bargaining chip, or withheld as a punishment because now you're being manipulative. To say, I'm not forgiving you until I see behavior changes is not forgiveness. That's an attempt to control. You can disengage if behavior doesn't change, but forgiveness is really for yourself in letting go of the grudge. You can change your behavior towards a person, but to want someone else to change because of your forgiveness is not real forgiveness.
That Christianity have Black folks out here calling revictimization forgiveness
Don't forget to 👍the videos.
@11:53 That needs to be a full song, Lol
💯
People definitely get the biblical definition wrong in my opinion. Jesus as an example, did not blindly forgive anyone they had to repent. People like to skip that part. I used to be a peace keeper and that’s brought me nothing but disrespect and ungrateful people. I have developed major trust issues and I find people to naturally want to test how much they can push your buttons. As someone who has been called overly sensitive all my life, I do not understand this behavior. I just had to realize there are very few people who have a healthy relationship with even themselves so I can’t expect too much and I am glad I no longer feel the need to want to control someone else’s lack of self awareness. It is a privilege to know me and that’s my attitude after too long suffering from my lack of self worth.
on point with sex and the city scene narration...appreciate the topic.
What if you ask for forgiveness and was denied?
You have to forgive yourself and be okay, because you tried. But the ask must come with coarse correction. Actions speak louder than words.
You can forgive, but don't be blind to a person's poor character. If their character proves to be a liability, you gotta bound up with enforced boundaries and limitations of access.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 ❤️🇹🇹💪🏽
oh it is a song🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Lol just a note: you’re mixing two of the SATC episodes together. The episode where she lost the dog was bc she was talking to BIG. The episode where they got back together was when the dog had diarrhea and she pulled up to aiden at the bar and he was talking to the girl
Amanda im sorry but the problem with your friend was that he didn't want to stick his neck out to support u....he didn't want to risk being criticized by his peers(other black men) for defending u or trying to bring clarity to your views as your friend.... but he was perfectly fine using ur professional clout to serve his own agenda......He was just trying to make you wrong with that smacking a table at me nonsense because in that moment he recognized he wasn't willing to reciprocate the positivity u had shown him
Happy Thanksgiving from my family to yours. You have any leftovers you have my number, address and email. Love and hugs.
Tei
You have my enail. Galle
The FIRST 20 Seconds Amanda. WHEW!!!!
I Felt Like This ENTIRE Episode Was Created & Made JUST. FOR. ME!!! Thanks Amanda.
30:45 Is My Favorite Part.
#TEAMAMANDA #AMANDA4PREZ 🤍