Thank you for bravely posting!! I too was a JW till I got out at 28 years old. Ran out the bedroom window. Left everyone and everything I’d ever known. Never looked back
I was also raised a JW. So many years wasted. So many special memories we missed out on, But LOOK at you now man!!!! Thank you for sharing. This video is the first of yours ive watched, but wont be the last! Love sent from Asheville NC!
TH-cam is full of them, just sayin. I feel that (and so do most Trans people) “progressive”/Liberal people constantly make highly exaggerated statements to them. All of them are “beautiful/handsome,” “very smart,” “an extraordinary speaker.” “Progressive,” “woke,” “Liberal” people literally change the way they actually speak. They use the words “him”,“her,” “she,” “he,” in their language that they do not ordinarily use trans people and everyone else sees right through it. They see that you’re trying to be extra, super nice like as if you feel sorry for them. Nobody likes to be patronized talk to people the way you talk to others. You don’t have to constantly complement and say that everyone is so great or has “fantastic eyes,“ it’s just not the way you usually talk.
Sadly I woke up at the age of 52 (2 years ago). I was really angry after I finally left because they stole my youth, my money, my self worth and the future I was promised. I now try to focus on each day and the happiness I finally feel to be able to be myself, do what I want, when I want with whomever I want. First time in my life and I am very grateful for the time I have left to be able to be me. This is the first video of yours I have watched and am very impressed by your kind demeanor and sincerity. I wish you all the best in this life.
I do feel the same. I actually I woke up from this org (I don't like to say JW is a religion because definitely IT IS NOT) because of my father. He is a JW's but for many many years never attended any congregation until he died. So I assumed he was not longer as a JW. He was very critical to the org. many times back and forward sent letters to the JW org critized the Bible translation, divinity of Jesus, 144.000, etc. When my father is gone my mind is open, I am no longer defended the org like I did before. I feel very sorry (I cry everytime I remember it) I was wasted my time to defend my believe (after I woke up I realized I was not defend what I believes but defend to the org. Blah!!🤮) and did not listen to my father. Now I can see very clear how they (the org) twisting the sentences to manipulate people's mind. People who is under the org 'spell's' will not realize it, the member will think that it is from JHWH God. The member of the org will accept all the teachings whether it is wrong or not. Their motto is be wrong together and be right together 😅. Now my only one struggle is want to my brother wake up too but it is so hard because he shun me already😭😭
Thank you for posting. I'm 57, was raised a JW, disfellowshipped at age 22. Family shuns me but I am so happy now. You are so right in your post...shame & guilt is their "truth."
So eloquent. So generous. Every time we revisit the pain, we process it a little bit more, little bit deeper, little bit better, and send it further down the path of our past and gain freedom from it.
I grew up strict Catholic. I remember going to Sunday School and regular school. Later my dad converted to a Non Denominational and had me in an Apostolic Pentecostal Church. Apostolic Pentecostals are very strict. Literally you're whole entire life is Church.
Hey Dade, don’t know if you are still checking comments here but I just found your channel. I’ve watched most of your videos and must say you’re an inspiration. What a great person you are and a huge heart you have. You’ve overcome so much. I can see from the comments how much you’ve positively impacted so many. You’ve obviously much loved. You’re starting a new generation built on love that will continue forever. I wish you all the best and much love.
I'm gay. Those words were unthinkable for me a couple of years ago. I was born in a JW household. Since I was a child I knew I was diferent but the simple idea of letting those toughts arise in my head were unspeakable. I'm 23 now and I'm a faded JW. Last i went to a meeting was almost a year now, yet guilt is part of my daily life. It feels like it's never going to fully go away. I wish I have the courage to leave once and for all but I don't have it yet. I'm glad to see people like you standing up and letting us know that there's light at the end of the tunnel.
I know how hard it is to leave. The difficulty is by design. As someone who did finally leave, I can tell you I have never been happier or more at peace. The guilt is still there, but I know it is not real - just the product of years of psychological abuse. Wishing you the very best as you carve out your new life, my friend.
Your sincerity is deeply touching. We can feel your pain through the screen and see your intelligence, strength and resilience. I thank you so much for sharing and for your eloquence.
I'm glad you posted this. Your honesty and sincerity shine through. This video and any other you post is surely going to help many. It will help you too, just talking about it, as difficult as it is. The cult is crumbling and you're young enough to possibly see it fall completely. I hope I will see that too.
I grew up one to. My wife and I recently woke up. Our two girls are shunning us for the past year. Her parents cut her off. We are starting over. It’s a terrible religion. It’s left me angry. Ashamed and terribly lonely. I am lucky my wife woke up with me. Many are not so lucky. I appreciate your courage to speak out.
Glad you went through with posting the video. Its heartfelt video. You done a most wonderful job. Well done.I can sense the emotion and understand how hard it been for you to talk about it. I'm an ex Brethren. I can relate to many things you discuss. Best wishes
following what God wants is not easy, I also grew up in the family of Jehovah's witnesses, I did not choose to join the organization not because I did not believe in all the lesson in the organization but because I chose my own path, i chose freedom. I never felt constrained in my association when I was still studying in organizations because the good and bad relationships we associate with our lives, we are the ones who have to be able to sort out. everything taught in the Jehova's witness organization has helped me a lot to be strong even though I did not give up my life to serve God.
Thank you very much, Dade, for talking about this! I was raised in this religion too and I passed by the same situations you described. I know how hard it is to talk about this. Hear you speaking about this shows me I'm not the only one with such a trauma. Thank you, thank you, thank you ❤
Born into the jw's I left more than thirty years ago. Mother and four sisters stayed. Today you have helped me understand why I had to go. I had too much love for others to stay. That's not bragging, just a fact. I couldn't look down on the genuinely good people outside the org I had come to know and appreciate. People who treated me better than many in the org! Thank you!! I am so glad this video showed up in my feed.
48 years was stolen from me and my children being in the cult. It wasn’t until my fleshy sister asked me what do I believe in that I decided to do some investigations. Prior to this this though, I had wondered what makes me so much better. During that time, I made apologies to other family members who were not in. I let them know I’m no better or worse then them. I found myself getting to know wonderful people who were gay, transgender, and learned they are the salt of the earth. These are the people who love without boundaries and have acceptance of me and all my horrible secret assumptions to which I’m proud to say I’ve let go of. Your raw honest statements speak volumes of love for yourself and those who have been lost in this cult. Thank you for sharing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Thank you Dade, so much for very bravely sharing your story. It DOES make a difference to other jws & ex jws. It sure did to me. It took me until I turned 50 yrs old to be able to speak about my jw childhood. Me & my 3 siblings all left by age 25. I left at age 12 and ran away to live with my non jw dad. My older brother was already living there. I had to leave my 2 younger siblings behind. We were labelled "bad association, bad influences" to the younger 2. We grew up totally divided, shunned & pitted against eachother. The 4 of us couldnt even talk about it with eachother. The shame was unbearable. We tried to bury all of it but I guess we really didn't. I finally began to talk about it only after my brother who was 1 yr older and my sister 1 yr younger than me, both committed suicide 3 yrs apart. The shame & isolation was a lifelong sentence for all of us. We didn't know any other ex jws other than us all those decades. Tragically way too late. I will do all I can do to help topple that evil tower until I'm no longer breathing. For my brother & my sister & all those children still trapped in that disgusting cult.
Thank you for sharing this video. I was also raised JW from birth and left in my mid-twenties. That cult is absolute hell to grow up in. The part about realizing you're going to grow old really hits home. ❤
You are a fucking phenomenal human being. I have had the pleasure to decide everything that goes on in my life from a young age, I just hit thirty this year and I still can't make the change to achieve inner happiness because of the fear that I can't do it. Can't even use my normal TH-cam account to write my feelings, I have to hide behind this name. You deserve all the happiness life has to offer. I am going to be a life long fan of yours. Although cliche, you truly are a big inspiration. Thank you.
Shoe Kings Whitford I recently read something that said everything that happens before 30 is just practice... it may have even been 40. Society likes to tell us all the best accomplishments happen as a youth. It’s not true, friend. Use the maturity of your 30’s to get the life you want. This is coming from a 37yo.
@@ElectricDade yeah I totally agree, I reaalllyyyy don't like society and all of the boxes with labels that come with it. Even here in Australia where acceptance is becoming more frequent among the people but less with our government. I have no shame in what I feel, just feel like I'm wrapped up in the chains of who people need and know me to be a certain way. I am not scared of who I am, i just wish I had more support and the time! I work so damn much I have no time to explore myself properly. It really warms me to know you got through a situation from my perspective, a far more complicated situation than mine. I work in a completely male dominated industry so I don't think I can do what I need to do until I get out of here all together and just start again somewhere new like you did. Just that I'm in this long haul relationship and we are in no position to up and leave as a couple. Feeling trapped is honestly starting to drive me a little insane. Thanks for replying and sorry for the essay, I don't have a vent space haha
I've been following you for years and I had no idea you were a JW but the way you put that out there (not just for views like other youtubers) makes me respect you even more!
Thank you very much for telling your experience in such an expressive and precise way. I am also an ex-JW, I left religion at about the same age, 25 years old. Since early teenage years I suffered from crises produced by doubts, cognitive dissonance between what I had been programmed to feel, and what my analytical mind was screaming. The final process began when I was about 20 years old. From 20 to 25, I gradually stopped believing. I first read many of the JW's own publications from a critical point of view, and gradually expanded my reading outside of that realm, and started reading science and philosophy books, to reading "apostate" literature on the sly. I was fortunate not to have a mother as purist as your father, and as a child I had a couple of non JW friends who were supportive when I finally disassociated myself. Once again thank you for your bravery and telling your experience. It always helps to see other ex-TJs and know that one is not alone.
Thank You ! Thank You ! Thank You, for posting this. Touching, moving and sincere ! You will help so many... I'm out of the cult since 1985, I was 17 and kicked out. You prepared and even then it is really difficult.
I'm 1 year late to this vid but I'm glad you decided to post it. I liked listening to your heartfelt expression of your experience. Everybody's story is important and can potentially help one more person. I agreed 100% with your account...i was born and raised and stayed til I was 39....it also still makes me angry that I wasted all those years serving a corporation/real estate biz! I wish you much success in life!!
I'm not a subscriber but I found your channel years ago It's amazing to me that you're also an ex jw it's so nice to hear your awakening story I was POMI from 2003 till 2015 after ARC I woke up I've been awake Marry Pagan Christmas to you and yours
I saw all of your followers and wondered why, since I’ve never heard of you. Because of your gender change, now I understand your following. You’re AMAZING!! So SO happy you have lived YOUR life. Thanks for your story!! I just want to hug you!! Keep living for you!!!
I know what your going through, I come from a different organization, but it's almost the same, I'm 53 years old, and I'm still so angry about life, and how many people make bad choices because of a terrible upbringing, I'm proud of people like you, that have the guts to come out of that bad life, and tell the world the truth, I feel like I'm still hiding in my old self and don't know where to start, but trust me you will find healing if you speak out,
Wow. Five minutes in and I can completely relate. I grew up Independent fundamental, Bible believing Baptist. No association outside of our church or with the “worldly”. We were in church 4 days a week. I was also “blessed” to attend our church school. So 7 out of 7 days I was indoctrinated. We did “door knocking” or what we called soul winning on Saturdays. Very patriarchal. We couldn’t wear pants or shorts just dresses. No movies or “ secular” music. Can so relate.
I grew up in there too. I left at 17 with no friends or family. I figured out at about 8 years old that they were not the spirit directed organization they claimed to be. I started making plans to leave. You are very right that no matter when you leave, you find you have been psychologically, emotionally, socially stunted. They do that on purpose so you are set up to fail if you leave so it forces many to go back. I left 37 years ago and never went back. It takes courage and strength. I'm so glad you got out. I watched some of your other videos and we did many of the same kinds of things. I became a mechanic and had my own shop building hotrod cars. 20's through the 50's cars. I'm retired now and enjoying being a grandma. Peace to you and hugs from Oklahoma!
@@suras8984 They made my alcoholic, family abusing, wife and child beating father a MS. I knew he didnt meet the qualifications, and most of the congregation did too. I knew Jesus didn't tell them to give him a position in the congregation! No spiritual direction at all!
@@DeniseHedberg66 Im sorry you went through that. My cousin went through something similar where her father was extremely abusive and he was highly regarded by everyone on the congregation. So much so that they did not believe her mom when she told the elders what he would do to her and even that he was cheating. They did not accept her divorce from him so that when she remarried another brother years later they disfellowshipped her for adultery. My cousin was still a kid and all her friends stopped talking to her. It was very traumatic for her.
@@suras8984 I have heard many with a similar story. Most of the ideas they have about "putting on a new personality " means hiding the person you really are from other JW's. It's a flawed system for a doctrine.
My father was an elder too and also my grandpa. I can relate to your struggles breaking away from the religion and the consequences that come with it. My sister was assaulted by members, even one dear woman killed herself. Thanks for speaking out about your experiences. It empowers ex members to do the same. Keep it up man
Ex JW here! Decided at the young age of 16 to leave! I’ve dealt with my fair share of life but I’m so glad I did it without it being tied to the congregation 🙌🏽
I just wanted to take a moment and acknowledge the strength and courage that it takes to share such a story and say “thank you” for trusting us with your story! I have no idea what it must be like to be raised in a religious cult and certainly not what it is like to be transgendered nor having to leave my family behind (my parents and sister are the only reason I’m still here, I can only imagine how terrifying leaving them would be!), but as an empath that, like so many, was forged in the fires of others’ hate and abuse I do recognize much of the rest of your story and the journey you have taken to get here and it takes more strength and courage than most know. I am 48 now and have spent the past 36 years struggling with Complex PTSD and the myriad disabling chronic health issues and severe chronic pain that that my own abuse throughout adolescence caused (my physical health collapsed at age 18). My journey began at age 13 when my family moved and I started at a rural school where I was rejected socially and ostracized by all the students for being different and an outsider, so no friends (save for one other rejected student), and I was bullied dozens of times each and every day for six years by most of my peers and some faculty alike just because it served their egos to continually attack the one student that rejected violence - it has never been my way to harm others, though by the end of those six years I had more than enough bottled up rage and anger to have killed had I wanted to. I have long struggled with self-hate, the sense of worthlessness, and the feeling of being unworthy of other’s love as a consequence of being surrounded by so much hate and our self-identity is formed in adolescence based upon the valuation we see reflected back to us by our peers, which in my case was pure hate and disgust for myself. So I have also long struggled with the paradoxical reality that there exists exactly one person in all this world that I actually hate and that is myself, as I love all others (I reject hating people, though I may hate the things they do to one another). I also learned the hard way that those of us who grew up abused as children sadly tend to find that the abuse only continues to follow us into our adult romantic relationships when we inevitably find nothing but abusive partners that further the violence against us until finally we have that one extraordinarily violent relationship at 22 and you give up altogether on ever finding love (which is already challenging enough for demisexuals/demiromantics since we do not experience attraction in the absence of an established close friendship) and, combined with disability and the myriad health issues the abuse also caused we ultimately withdraw from society and largely isolate ourselves from the public to avoid further abuse and stress - which is exceedingly lonely as an adult! I tried to get help as an adult in my late teens only to be further abused by the psychiatric profession 30 years ago whose attitude at the time towards childhood trauma was basically “get over it, you’re an adult now!”, which is of absolutely no help whatsoever nor did they ever make any effort to assist with any of the trauma, even worse they blamed all my physical health issues and pain on somatoform disorder and then accused me of “failing them as a patient” when the antidepressants they prescribe had no effect on my depression nor the other physical health issues (I came to them mildly depressed due to my rapidly failing physical health only to leave literally teetering on the knife’s edge of suicide...gee, thanks for the help!). So, like many back then, our only option was to try and compartmentalize all that abuse as best we could on our own in an effort to try and move on with our lives as adults. But the C-PTSD always remains there, behind the scenes, *ruining* our life, health, and happiness in the background without us even fully realizing its full effects until decades later. That is, until middle age comes and all that compartmentalization begins to come crashing down and the C-PTSD returns full force in all its awful glory - flashbacks, triggers, general and social anxiety attacks, panic attacks, depression, dissociation, and emotional dysregulation all in full effect! Which is where I have been this past year and finally decided to take a chance on returning to therapy once again for the first time in nearly 30 years starting just a few months ago (which was terrifying given how I was treated 30 years ago)! Thankfully, the mental health profession seems to have come a long ways since then in terms of how they view and address childhood trauma and there are now good trauma-informed therapists out there - or I might not still be here. But this part of my journey has only just begun and I will likely be in therapy until the day I die at this point since it is getting addressed so late in life. It is an unbelievably lonely life and I don’t know if I will ever actually find a partner at this point in life given the damage that was done to my trust all those years ago and the myriad severe and disabling health issues I have to live with, but something has to change somewhere as I have not known happiness in more than 36 years...so hopefully something changes for the better at some point. But you are absolutely right about the shame and guilt as we carry far too much of it and, truthfully, most of it was never ours to bear in the first place as much of it belongs to those who burdened us with their own guilt and shame and convinced us it was our own. So focus on the future rather than the past and try to live life as the person you choose to be and be as authentic as you possibly can in living that life. You seem to have a very good and loving heart and mind and I am extremely grateful that you had the courage and opportunity to escape a life that would have otherwise suffocated you and wasted your true potential and now have this opportunity to be the real you! Stay strong and know you have real friends out there in this world and are never alone! I’m really quite grateful that you have chosen to share your story and journey so that others may also discover that they are not alone when facing such in their own lives. An amazing amount of peace can come from simply knowing that one is not alone!
Hi, this was the first video I've ever watched by you. Thank you for sharing your personal life experiences. I am an exjw and I'm gay and happily married to my wife. As your extended lgbtq+ family, I'm sending you all my love! You're an inspiration!
I'm so happy that you were able to get out of that environment and that you're in a much better place. Thank you for sharing your story. I think about you often, you were one of the first trans people I found on youtube, and the first with a family- something I was convinced I was destined to live without. It's heartbreaking to hear how difficult it was for you to get to the place you are now, but it's inspiring to see how you were able to grow from that and move on. I wish you and your family nothing but the very best :)
I was baptized at 18, and left the JW org at 19, got married to my boyfriend who joined the air force at the time to escape. I know the pain, the loss of everything in the world you thought you knew, the feelings of being alone, and brainwashed. Long story short. I am now 59, and it took me a long time to learn how to cope with all of it, but it can and will happen. The feeling of being betrayed, and abandoned never really go away, but focus on who you want to become right now. You feel like you are keeping a big secret, but telling the story is therapeutic. Hang in there my friend. 🥂♥️
This is one of the best videos in which the Watchtower CULT is most accurately described! Thank you so much for sharing your story! You said so many things I can feel and relate to. Thank you for lending me your voice.
I always love seeing your updates! I have learned so much from following you over the years. What a Handsome caring and respectful human being you are! Blessings in 2020.
What an amazing brave and honest outpouring of your life. I to was raised a JW and you articulated so well many of the feelings I had. I mentally left in my 20s but didn't get physically out until I was 42 because I had a young family to protect and bat crazy wife. The last 20 years have been the best to be physically and mentally free of this destructive cult. Time heals and life gets better the more distance there is. My only regret is still having 4 dear relatives in this brainwashed cult. I have a Plan to help them, it might work, I must at least try. Thank you for sharing your story and good luck for the future.
Thank you so much for this video. It moved me to tears. I know this must have been quite difficult for you. But thank you for doing this for the common good. Lots of love from Brazil!
I have watched Hundreds of hours of ex jw Videos and I have to say that was the most inspiring one I have seen since the first few that I saw six years ago you are spot on and I can’t thank you enough for making that video so powerful
Thank you for your video. I joined the JWs at age 22/23 years old. I know what you mean by being one on the fringes versus one who who is totally and fully immersed in the religion. I tried desperately to be like one of the born-in immersed ones but I never felt good enough or worthy enough. I left after about 27 years. After I started seeing videos of how persons like you felt about growing up in the religion it was an eye opener to me. I'm glad you got out too
WOW WOW WOW 😮 INCREDIBLE COURAGE !! I am an exjw. ( Obviously by the name) my profile pic is me at age 4 around the time I was first molested by a man associated with the JWs. I'm an old lady now... lol Something I've learned throughout the years, as people will say to me, to let it go, put it behind you etc. We grew up in that org. Our childhood experience is what made us who we are. Sure it was painful . Of course if we could choose a different childhood we would! What the jw teaching does, to children is mental and emotional abuse. And as anyone knows, healing from mental and emotional abuse is a life long and on going. It does take a consciousness effort to decide to be a better person than how we were raised. We all have value. We are all individuals. We each have something special to give to this world to make it a better place. JWs are molded to all be the same. Not to express individually. The only identity is that of JW. I honestly cannot imagine the torment that went through your mind growing up and being transgender. I can see that you've come a long way and you have done much healing work / therapy . This is the first time I've seen your channel, your video popped up , I'm assuming because it has to do with JWs, since I'm involved in the exjw community. I want to encourage you to do more videos about your childhood. There are so many exjws that have gone through or are going through the same things you have. And by taking about our past traumas it helps us heal , and sometimes we didn't even know we needed to. I applaud your courage, and strength to have come so far.. . Big HUGS to you. ♥️
I am a fellow exjw. It is good to talk about this. Unfortunately I have only starting to do this myself recently. I know it's hard. But, it feels good to open up.
Dade, thank you so much for opening up about this. I also had difficult moments with my religious past and have been thinking about doing a video about it for some time. But I know that, like you, I'll experience a lot of emotion in trying to talk about it...
Thanks so much for sharing your story. I left at the age of 16. It was so much pressure to be perfect, as a teenager I knew something was wrong. I felt guilty all of the time and depressed. Now at the age of 28, I'm unpacking just how fcked up I am. This is so affirming (because no one really understands), thanks again for sharing!
Hello Dade. I am so proud of you and your journey, because you have clawed your way out of hell on earth, only to turn around and inspire us who are following in your footsteps. Sometimes I wonder if I would be alive today if I hadn’t had your video on suicide to remind me that I had reasons to stick around. I certainly wouldn’t have come so far in my own journey and have began to learn how to be the kind of man I want to be; the same kind of man you are. Thank you for sharing, and I would personally love to watch more videos about your past, if you ever feel comfortable sharing.
Thank you so much for sharing this very difficult experience. I’m very grateful you continue to share with us here on YT. You are so authentic, inspirational and thoughtful. I always gain something from your heartfelt shares.
Hi there, really enjoyed your video and my heart goes out to you. As an ex JW I do understand your thoughts and agree. I had to leave my mother, brother & sister in the religion but have not missed it for a second. Since leaving I have never felt more accepted as a human being by supposedly ‘worldly people’ and have found many lovely friends that love me for being a good/kind person and for just being me, there is no judgment or agendas just true friendship. After nearly 30 years I still have those brainwashed teachings & guilt that resurface but it gets easier to push them away as time goes on. I have an awesome relationship with my Dad (he was never a believer but stuck with the family out of love until I left then he & my mother broke up) my brother & sister don’t visit him which breaks his heart but he, like me puts it in a box and we only talk about it every so often as it’s too painful otherwise. I do wish you all the best and please believe that you are a good person that deserves happiness! I believe that you can serve God by living a good happy life, respecting others, being kind & honest with not judging anyone. Take care, Jenny.
Welcome exjw! at the end of the day, it doesn't matter how you get your message or story out, the point is you did....thanks for your bravery on doing so....wish you the best on your new life journey, PEACE -EXJW Roberto
I was baptised 14 , left 16 . No life skills to navigate the world. Absolutely not ideal for a girl to start her way without support and healthy guidance. I relate to this so much Love the choosing each day of what human I’m going to be . The values are ingrained but I’m happy joyous and free to be me . They robbed us , of the arts , music , politics , science , hobby’s , after school interests , making healthy connections and social skills outside the organisation. They robbed our grades , qualifications and careers. We fully believed as kids that Armageddon was five mins away. What a terrible thing to keep us in fear permanently.
Thank-you. As an ex-j.w. I know it takes years to ween. My husband has to remind me the guilt and shame I feel are taught by this organization. I'm truly glad you woke up. Merry Christmas, from a wee hamlet in Mono, Ontario.
Thank you for sharing. Yes, being raised a JW has been exactly what you've said.. no one truly understands unless you've lived it. You've helped me realize it's a daily thing to work on myself. I am on my own now with my adult sons ... it's just us because of the shunning and what I find fascinating is my sister who is no longer a JW is judging me and she doesn't see it because its ingrained in her thinking. I appreciate your openness.
Thanks for the honest sharing of such deeply emotional experiences. As I saw the triggering taken hold, I could see how the stress released cortisol muddled your ability to process...I know how frustrating that is! I thought you were starting to tell how you escaped and the challenges you had to over come. If you choose to make a part 2 covering that, I'd find it very interesting and it might help others if they knew what they'd face. Abusers use the unknown to keep people afraid to leave. Shame is a waste of your soul! You didn't waste those years...the adversity in them made you a thinking, compassionate and independent being... You will NEVER take those things for granted because you now live and breathe their importance! Good job on the vlogs and on building a life to be proud of. Hugs, Lynn
Nice video. Embrace getting older and the experience and wisdom it brings. As a child I believed my parents would never get old. They both did and passed away, my mother passed in her bed on a cocktail of painkillers at aged 98, thin and skeletal. That’s the reality, not living forever with lions and tigers and bears and big bowls of fruit.
This is the first time I've seen your channel. A couple of things that struck me: 1.) Having grown up in a strict Baptist household, I feel ya. I mean I REALLY feel ya. Your thoughts about the feelings that you still posses, those deep feelings of despair, anger, shame, fear, etc... they just never go away fully. They do get better, but they never go away completely. 2.) You made an excellent transition. I had no idea you were born female. You "look," "sound," and "move" like a man. Congratulations on being able to transition and finding love. That's so wonderful to hear. 💜
Thank you for your videos. You’ve had a big impact on me and my attitudes. Please keep making these, you’re inspiring and I have learnt so much from your journey.
Bravo! You are not alone! I too was a devote Jehovah's Witness until I was 25 years old. I even went to Bethel and served for 4 years until my truth (being gay) could not be contained anymore. I would see how other Bethelites, who were obviously gay, lived in a lie. It took 15 years of working two jobs, going back to college part time to finally get my life back. I haven't spoken to my family for over 20 years except for one time when my sister called me 8 years ago and told me that my father had died 2 years ago. They didn't tell me he passed because they didn't want me to be at the funeral. She also told me that if I wanted to come back they would welcome me back with open arms. Once I told her that I was married to a man and looking to adopt a child she told me that I was an apostate and I would never hear from them again which I haven't. I understand your statement of how the Jehovah's Witness teachings stays with you because even after 20 years I still feel weird if I celebrate a Christian Holiday or if I see two guys kissing or holding hands. It is a constant battle that I have to endure and I thank you so much for posting this video and showing other JW's that you can break free and have a normal life after JW's!
Thank you, you are awesome. So much insight and give yourself huge credit for making all the changes, understanding, realization.your story is so helpful and interesting. I hope you can love and appreciate yourself.
I watched this last night via my tv, and had mixed emotions with your candid story. I can't imagine how hard it was for you, but can only imagine. I had a friend who came out as lesbian, left the cult but was the nicest girl. I give you kudos to how open and honest you are with your story, and hope you can live a fulfilled happy life being who you were meant to be. Congrats to escaping from the cult too!
Hola! One of my FTM friend here have the same story as you (JW). We tallked once about his terrible experience. When he explained me I just could not understand and I still can't understand how parents can abandonned his child. He was litteraly left in the street like garbage. You are very very smart indeed. So much brain wash and still could find your way out. Lovely man.
Well done, my friend. You are courageous and strong. It took me years to get out through trying to please family. You will find the hate eventually recedes but it takes time. We don’t learn self love and strength in that organisation but you are finding it now. I find keeping a gratefulness diary helps, each day I find small things to be grateful for. Kind greetings from Australia.
I grew up in a home where my father jumped ship and went to an alternative Christian group, to which, fortunately for me, we celebrated Christmas and other holidays, and birthdays, went dancing and got a good education. When I turned 16 my father went BACK to JW’s and stayed there for 40 years. He tried to get me to go to JW MEETINGS, and parents asked me why I didn’t want to go to “meetings” with them? So I asked them “How come you can’t discuss bible scriptures outside of the JW magazines and books? Why are you only allowed to regurgitate what you read in the books and not allowed to think for yourself?” Well, after I played them a praise song on my guitar I had learned from a different church, it changed everything. My father started to question things and searching other biblical organizations. Unfortunately he got hooked into the Benny Hill false prophet apostolic movement. After mother died, unable to be healed from cancer, he abandoned that movement. He still didn’t want me in his life and wanted a “wife”, and that I would get in the way. After being angry at him for not picking him up early st the hospital when I came home he was there. He called me a liar and a thief and hit me with his cane. After that I never returned. He married his caretaker so that I would not be an heir to his property. That was the end of him as two months later he died leaving the house to the caretaker. I don’t regret it. He was a miserable old man who made it a point to inflict misery on both me and my mother. I would not be surprised that she preferred to die than to be with him, as they both didn’t believe in divorce. The JW’s I’m sure have ruined many lives using fear, shunning and intimidation. False religion puts out corruption that destroys people. However, this has not stopped me from believing and worshipping the REAL God, whose mercy on the weak has given hope for a future. It’s false religion that destroys relationships and the meaning of being a fulfilled human being. Don’t let false religion take you away from God. The devil wants to destroy God’s people. I don’t read FAKE BIBLES. Also, check out the J W Analyzer here on TH-cam. It’s never too late to be led by the Spirit and be fulfilled. Do your own research and keep searching. Knock and it shall be opened unto you. Never forget that verse. It will open up possibilities for you. Encouragement is from God. Discouragement is from the Adversary. Know your enemy.
I know that this offers no comfort, but all the events that you have been through did contribute to you becoming the person you are today. That is a pretty wonderful person too. So please learn to let go of the anger and think of the time as something well spent on educating yourself to the better person you were destined to become; and in what needed to be overcome. Kudos to you and keep on evolving. Your an inspiration to many.
Thank you thank you thank youuuu! So much for this! I’ve blocked out so many memories from being a JW but I know I’m not crazy. Going through therapy and dealing with a lot of this trauma that is now manifesting itself in my adult years. I feel validated 💕
I can completely relate to you. Wow, I feel like people like us understand one another on this sensitive subject. The second you said those years were stolen from you, I definitely saw the similarities in our past. My mother who put on an innocent face at the JW meetings, services, assemblies...etc, allowed my abuse. She had no problem watching me emotionally destroyed, as long as she looked like an angel around that cult....I earned the amazing reward of taking my happiness & running with it. I'm happily married & have children because I made the decision to take ownership of my own life.
Absolutely, totally true in everything you said. As a bred/born/& raised-in jw I can grasp each nuance you were explaining. I had to leave all friends, family and support when I was 16 which was especially bad because at that time there was no such thing as social media. Therefore, I truly thought I was alone in my experiences. Thanks to people like you, other youths may not feel so alone, isolated and crazy. Proud to be a new subscriber. (btw; I'm happy for both your "transitions." Glad you're happy, too.) 😊
Thank you for sharing this, Dade. I am very sorry you went through this, and I hope you continue to heal over time. There's so much hate in this current political climate, and I think your story can help a lot of people in these times. I think it can help people who are trying to escape hateful environments and it can help those who might have trouble seeing the humanity in people who harbor hate. So again, thank you for sharing.
I also grew up a Jehovah witnesses. 18 years. The hurt from it helped me become my full self. I dont regret it i embrace it and let that be part of the growing process
@Malik Young... have you heard of the great awakening by Blacks who discovered they are descendants of the true Israelitea. Look into this brother. It will TRULY free you.
Holy crap. I saw this on my recommendations and I thought "oh another Jehovah's Witness video" but then I realised I was following you because you're a trans TH-camr. It's SOO good to see the perspective of another trans ex-jw! It's good to have someone who understands the pain that comes from the organisation.
im so glad you got out.. and are able to see past the horrible things your parents have done to you, it is a struggle to keep the hate at bay but its a good struggle with huge personal rewards, so smile at yourself and all youve accomplished.. love is out there, its there for you, take it you deserve it
My grandmother (dad's mum) was a JW. She was VERY active. My dad left the faith after he had an argument with her about celebrating my first birthday -- I was his firstborn and he couldn't imagine not celebrating the birth of his child...What's more beautiful than giving thanks for the gift of a child but, of course, she saw it as idolatry, as something that ought never to happen. Good on you for getting out and finding people who accept you and making space for yourself to be who and how you truly are. Nobody deserves to be cast away from their family and their faith. It hurts me that they disfellowship (my relationship with my grandmother was never the same after my dad accidentally outed me at a family dinner) and that they believe that's an acceptable thing to do.
Dont be ashamed. Not at all stand proud that you got out. That experience makes you stronger. You know how much courage and strength it takes to leave your family, friends, and all you have ever known? Then be shunned as well. Keep your head up. No shame.
Oh my goodness I watch your channel anyway and just saw this video of yours! I’m an exjw too! Oh my goodness this gives so much more depth to the meaning of things in your channel! Congrats on breaking free and living free!
Dave! I have watched you since the beginning...thankyou for sharing this extremely important message which i feel is even more important and bigger than sharing of you transitioning (which is very heartfelt and opened my eyes to the struggles) CULT RELIGION IS THE WORST form of abuse to humanity. May God and the holy spirit continue to help guide you through this brainwashing . You have had 2 MAJOR struggles to overcome ... AND YOU DID IT ❤️ your blogging is the best form of therapy for you as well as us who follow. You open peoples eyes minds and hearts to see the SOUL not just the package. Your Soul made a contract before coming to earth (birth) and it is solving issues it wanted to experience. You are ASCENDING🙏🏻 love you and keep on trucking cause theres lots to accomplish. (I also feel that Lord God will and is at this very moment bringing HIS JUDGMENT DOWN UPON THESE CULTS AND BIG RELIGIONS as we speak! vatican/catholicism, Jehovas Watchtower, Scientology, and several others which we are all have heard of “Mega churches” ... KEEP SPREADING THIS STORY BLESSINGS 🥰
So wonderful to meet you... Thank you for sharing. I so understand. I still think of people as being "worldly," even though I've been out for decades. I'm still mentally in as far as that goes.
I’m so glad that you did post it. I’m an ex jw and this is the 1st video of yours that I’ve ever seen. I’m in a big hurry right now so my comment will be short but I want to tell you that this video was done absolutely perfectly. You’re very brave. Keep putting out videos because you have a unique way of coming across and you will help many.
Friend, I can't say I traveled the same road you did, but I was a child of the Jehovah's Witnesses. I clearly recall being a terrified child, being isolated from all things "worldly." Your description of being woefully and inadequately equipped socially as a young adult upon escaping is spot on. I'm turning 60 in July. I say I'm over all that but still, today, I found you on TH-cam. Generally, I'm no longer angry and confused about being forced to go to Kingdom Hall and giving talks. I am a female, so obviously I was only permitted to give mock service call or Bible study instruction presentations. I look back on all that as super unfortunate. My parents were just idiot drones. Exerting complete control over their children was the norm for them. My experience is likely far different from yours, yet wildly similar. All of us children of JW have a strong common thread. I felt your obvious pain watching this TH-cam. I know. I do. But please know that you are you now. You aren't them anymore. Don't give them that power over you. Don't. Turn around. Look. Everything can be really good if you want enough for it to be. I'm so proud of you. Go forward and live. Big hugs.
Good job man. It takes a lot of courage to talk about those things and post them online. I can relate to a lot. I'm an exmormon and the Mormons are similar to JW's in a lot of ways. I was shunned for choosing not to get married and asking questions about the "CES letter" (someone wrote a letter to the church education system asking all of the questions the church had been avoiding). Anyways, shunned Mormons aren't announced like they are in the JW's, people just kind of start ignoring you. I researched everything about church history band then my whole world fell apart. Everything started when I started college. I began to learn critical thinking and couldn't help but see these problems. I wasn't trying to disprove anyone. So now I have lots of trust issues and I often don't want to go outside. I have this kind of paranoia of the outside world that I can't seem to get rid of. I like what you said about choosing to be the man I want to be everyday. I like the idea of being able to start over each day new. One more thing, I grew up in Vancouver Canada, and so it was much easier for me to leave. This is probably the least religious city in Canada. Also, I can relate to being filled with hate for non-mormons back when I was a member. I've forgotten more about being a butthead than most people will ever know
I could have made this video. 5 years ago, I pretended to be sick to get out of Saturday morning field service, and packed my stuff into garbage bags and left while my mother and sister were out preaching. The first 22 years of my life were stolen from me, and now that I'm 3 years on T, I can finally see how truly fucked up it all was. Thanks for choosing to post this even though it's hard.
Thanks for posting the video. Got to say that this is the first video of yours I watched and was caught off guard when I found you were FTM. My husband and I totally support you, just didn’t expect it.
First what an amazing transition damn.2nd I am happy to hear you escaped from those crazies.Dont look back.Dont let your family make you miserable over it.Create a good life for yourself with great friends!☺️
Thank you for bravely posting!! I too was a JW till I got out at 28 years old. Ran out the bedroom window. Left everyone and everything I’d ever known. Never looked back
Very smart for doing that
Good for you! That took guts.
Hey I was born and raised JW. If I start a pod cast would you follow me if I was to talk about everything we have ever been through?
I was also raised a JW. So many years wasted. So many special memories we missed out on, But LOOK at you now man!!!! Thank you for sharing. This video is the first of yours ive watched, but wont be the last!
Love sent from Asheville NC!
Isn't that where the bears are?
it's so weird to hear a complete stranger relate so much of what you personally experienced exactly...Thank you for sharing this.
TH-cam is full of them, just sayin.
I feel that (and so do most Trans people) “progressive”/Liberal people constantly make highly exaggerated statements to them. All of them are “beautiful/handsome,” “very smart,” “an extraordinary speaker.” “Progressive,” “woke,” “Liberal” people literally change the way they actually speak. They use the words “him”,“her,” “she,” “he,” in their language that they do not ordinarily use trans people and everyone else sees right through it. They see that you’re trying to be extra, super nice like as if you feel sorry for them. Nobody likes to be patronized talk to people the way you talk to others. You don’t have to constantly complement and say that everyone is so great or has “fantastic eyes,“ it’s just not the way you usually talk.
@@mog882 huh? Sorry I’m confused about your reply because my comment was about how much I can relate to how their life used to be as a JW
Sadly I woke up at the age of 52 (2 years ago). I was really angry after I finally left because they stole my youth, my money, my self worth and the future I was promised. I now try to focus on each day and the happiness I finally feel to be able to be myself, do what I want, when I want with whomever I want. First time in my life and I am very grateful for the time I have left to be able to be me.
This is the first video of yours I have watched and am very impressed by your kind demeanor and sincerity. I wish you all the best in this life.
Chloe S oh, I also stayed many years in that cult. Also lost so much time. So I can imagine how you feel now...
Cherish your freedom as some never get out. Congratulations you are free from the cult!
I do feel the same. I actually I woke up from this org (I don't like to say JW is a religion because definitely IT IS NOT) because of my father. He is a JW's but for many many years never attended any congregation until he died. So I assumed he was not longer as a JW. He was very critical to the org. many times back and forward sent letters to the JW org critized the Bible translation, divinity of Jesus, 144.000, etc. When my father is gone my mind is open, I am no longer defended the org like I did before. I feel very sorry (I cry everytime I remember it) I was wasted my time to defend my believe (after I woke up I realized I was not defend what I believes but defend to the org. Blah!!🤮) and did not listen to my father. Now I can see very clear how they (the org) twisting the sentences to manipulate people's mind. People who is under the org 'spell's' will not realize it, the member will think that it is from JHWH God. The member of the org will accept all the teachings whether it is wrong or not. Their motto is be wrong together and be right together 😅. Now my only one struggle is want to my brother wake up too but it is so hard because he shun me already😭😭
Narosse Narosse It is so sad and I agree it’s an evil organization that is not from a God.
Anne Ryslinge-Young Thank you ☺️
Thank you for posting. I'm 57, was raised a JW, disfellowshipped at age 22. Family shuns me but I am so happy now. You are so right in your post...shame & guilt is their "truth."
I too was raised a JW , and you speak the way it really is!!! I’ve often said I didn’t learn to think on my own till I was about 40. ❤️
So eloquent. So generous. Every time we revisit the pain, we process it a little bit more, little bit deeper, little bit better, and send it further down the path of our past and gain freedom from it.
I grew up strict Catholic. I remember going to Sunday School and regular school. Later my dad converted to a Non Denominational and had me in an Apostolic Pentecostal Church. Apostolic Pentecostals are very strict. Literally you're whole entire life is Church.
Hey Dade, don’t know if you are still checking comments here but I just found your channel. I’ve watched most of your videos and must say you’re an inspiration. What a great person you are and a huge heart you have. You’ve overcome so much. I can see from the comments how much you’ve positively impacted so many. You’ve obviously much loved. You’re starting a new generation built on love that will continue forever. I wish you all the best and much love.
Thanks for your kind comment, and thanks for watching.
I'm gay. Those words were unthinkable for me a couple of years ago. I was born in a JW household. Since I was a child I knew I was diferent but the simple idea of letting those toughts arise in my head were unspeakable. I'm 23 now and I'm a faded JW. Last i went to a meeting was almost a year now, yet guilt is part of my daily life. It feels like it's never going to fully go away. I wish I have the courage to leave once and for all but I don't have it yet. I'm glad to see people like you standing up and letting us know that there's light at the end of the tunnel.
I know how hard it is to leave. The difficulty is by design. As someone who did finally leave, I can tell you I have never been happier or more at peace. The guilt is still there, but I know it is not real - just the product of years of psychological abuse. Wishing you the very best as you carve out your new life, my friend.
Your sincerity is deeply touching. We can feel your pain through the screen and see your intelligence, strength and resilience. I thank you so much for sharing and for your eloquence.
I'm glad you posted this. Your honesty and sincerity shine through. This video and any other you post is surely going to help many. It will help you too, just talking about it, as difficult as it is. The cult is crumbling and you're young enough to possibly see it fall completely. I hope I will see that too.
I grew up one to. My wife and I recently woke up. Our two girls are shunning us for the past year. Her parents cut her off. We are starting over. It’s a terrible religion. It’s left me angry. Ashamed and terribly lonely. I am lucky my wife woke up with me. Many are not so lucky. I appreciate your courage to speak out.
Glad you went through with posting the video. Its heartfelt video. You done a most wonderful job. Well done.I can sense the emotion and understand how hard it been for you to talk about it. I'm an ex Brethren. I can relate to many things you discuss. Best wishes
I too grew up as a entrenched as a JW. Im glad you posted this video and I am sorry for your horrible experience.
following what God wants is not easy, I also grew up in the family of Jehovah's witnesses, I did not choose to join the organization not because I did not believe in all the lesson in the organization but because I chose my own path, i chose freedom. I never felt constrained in my association when I was still studying in organizations because the good and bad relationships we associate with our lives, we are the ones who have to be able to sort out. everything taught in the Jehova's witness organization has helped me a lot to be strong even though I did not give up my life to serve God.
Thank you very much, Dade, for talking about this! I was raised in this religion too and I passed by the same situations you described. I know how hard it is to talk about this. Hear you speaking about this shows me I'm not the only one with such a trauma. Thank you, thank you, thank you ❤
Born into the jw's I left more than thirty years ago. Mother and four sisters stayed. Today you have helped me understand why I had to go. I had too much love for others to stay. That's not bragging, just a fact. I couldn't look down on the genuinely good people outside the org I had come to know and appreciate. People who treated me better than many in the org! Thank you!! I am so glad this video showed up in my feed.
48 years was stolen from me and my children being in the cult. It wasn’t until my fleshy sister asked me what do I believe in that I decided to do some investigations. Prior to this this though, I had wondered what makes me so much better. During that time, I made apologies to other family members who were not in. I let them know I’m no better or worse then them. I found myself getting to know wonderful people who were gay, transgender, and learned they are the salt of the earth. These are the people who love without boundaries and have acceptance of me and all my horrible secret assumptions to which I’m proud to say I’ve let go of. Your raw honest statements speak volumes of love for yourself and those who have been lost in this cult. Thank you for sharing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Thank you Dade, so much for very bravely sharing your story. It DOES make a difference to other jws & ex jws. It sure did to me.
It took me until I turned 50 yrs old to be able to speak about my jw childhood. Me & my 3 siblings all left by age 25. I left at age 12 and ran away to live with my non jw dad. My older brother was already living there. I had to leave my 2 younger siblings behind. We were labelled "bad association, bad influences" to the younger 2. We grew up totally divided, shunned & pitted against eachother. The 4 of us couldnt even talk about it with eachother. The shame was unbearable. We tried to bury all of it but I guess we really didn't. I finally began to talk about it only after my brother who was 1 yr older and my sister 1 yr younger than me, both committed suicide 3 yrs apart. The shame & isolation was a lifelong sentence for all of us.
We didn't know any other ex jws other than us all those decades. Tragically way too late.
I will do all I can do to help topple that evil tower until I'm no longer breathing. For my brother & my sister & all those children still trapped in that disgusting cult.
Thank you for sharing this video. I was also raised JW from birth and left in my mid-twenties. That cult is absolute hell to grow up in. The part about realizing you're going to grow old really hits home. ❤
You are a fucking phenomenal human being.
I have had the pleasure to decide everything that goes on in my life from a young age, I just hit thirty this year and I still can't make the change to achieve inner happiness because of the fear that I can't do it.
Can't even use my normal TH-cam account to write my feelings, I have to hide behind this name.
You deserve all the happiness life has to offer.
I am going to be a life long fan of yours. Although cliche, you truly are a big inspiration.
Thank you.
Shoe Kings Whitford I recently read something that said everything that happens before 30 is just practice... it may have even been 40. Society likes to tell us all the best accomplishments happen as a youth. It’s not true, friend. Use the maturity of your 30’s to get the life you want. This is coming from a 37yo.
@@ElectricDade yeah I totally agree, I reaalllyyyy don't like society and all of the boxes with labels that come with it. Even here in Australia where acceptance is becoming more frequent among the people but less with our government.
I have no shame in what I feel, just feel like I'm wrapped up in the chains of who people need and know me to be a certain way. I am not scared of who I am, i just wish I had more support and the time! I work so damn much I have no time to explore myself properly.
It really warms me to know you got through a situation from my perspective, a far more complicated situation than mine. I work in a completely male dominated industry so I don't think I can do what I need to do until I get out of here all together and just start again somewhere new like you did. Just that I'm in this long haul relationship and we are in no position to up and leave as a couple.
Feeling trapped is honestly starting to drive me a little insane.
Thanks for replying and sorry for the essay, I don't have a vent space haha
Thank you for being vulnerable in order to help someone else Dade
I’m so very glad you decided to post! Thanks
I've been following you for years and I had no idea you were a JW but the way you put that out there (not just for views like other youtubers) makes me respect you even more!
Thank you very much for telling your experience in such an expressive and precise way. I am also an ex-JW, I left religion at about the same age, 25 years old.
Since early teenage years I suffered from crises produced by doubts, cognitive dissonance between what I had been programmed to feel, and what my analytical mind was screaming. The final process began when I was about 20 years old. From 20 to 25, I gradually stopped believing.
I first read many of the JW's own publications from a critical point of view, and gradually expanded my reading outside of that realm, and started reading science and philosophy books, to reading "apostate" literature on the sly. I was fortunate not to have a mother as purist as your father, and as a child I had a couple of non JW friends who were supportive when I finally disassociated myself.
Once again thank you for your bravery and telling your experience. It always helps to see other ex-TJs and know that one is not alone.
Thank You ! Thank You ! Thank You, for posting this. Touching, moving and sincere ! You will help so many... I'm out of the cult since 1985, I was 17 and kicked out. You prepared and even then it is really difficult.
I'm 1 year late to this vid but I'm glad you decided to post it. I liked listening to your heartfelt expression of your experience. Everybody's story is important and can potentially help one more person. I agreed 100% with your account...i was born and raised and stayed til I was 39....it also still makes me angry that I wasted all those years serving a corporation/real estate biz! I wish you much success in life!!
Bro...you have nothing to be ashamed of! Thanks for sharing!
I'm not a subscriber but I found your channel years ago It's amazing to me that you're also an ex jw it's so nice to hear your awakening story I was POMI from 2003 till 2015 after ARC I woke up I've been awake Marry Pagan Christmas to you and yours
I saw all of your followers and wondered why, since I’ve never heard of you. Because of your gender change, now I understand your following. You’re AMAZING!! So SO happy you have lived YOUR life. Thanks for your story!! I just want to hug you!! Keep living for you!!!
I know what your going through, I come from a different organization, but it's almost the same, I'm 53 years old, and I'm still so angry about life, and how many people make bad choices because of a terrible upbringing, I'm proud of people like you, that have the guts to come out of that bad life, and tell the world the truth, I feel like I'm still hiding in my old self and don't know where to start, but trust me you will find healing if you speak out,
Thank you so much for sharing this story. I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE....i scream into the night. Love & Respect to you, from a stranger on the internet.
THANK YOU for your bravery in deciding to post this video. Hearing other exjw stories helps me and many others with similar backgrounds so much.
Wow. Five minutes in and I can completely relate. I grew up Independent fundamental, Bible believing Baptist. No association outside of our church or with the “worldly”. We were in church 4 days a week. I was also “blessed” to attend our church school. So 7 out of 7 days I was indoctrinated. We did “door knocking” or what we called soul winning on Saturdays. Very patriarchal. We couldn’t wear pants or shorts just dresses. No movies or “ secular” music. Can so relate.
I grew up in there too. I left at 17 with no friends or family.
I figured out at about 8 years old that they were not the spirit directed organization they claimed to be. I started making plans to leave.
You are very right that no matter when you leave, you find you have been psychologically, emotionally, socially stunted. They do that on purpose so you are set up to fail if you leave so it forces many to go back.
I left 37 years ago and never went back. It takes courage and strength. I'm so glad you got out.
I watched some of your other videos and we did many of the same kinds of things. I became a mechanic and had my own shop building hotrod cars. 20's through the 50's cars.
I'm retired now and enjoying being a grandma.
Peace to you and hugs from Oklahoma!
Xx
@Denise Hedberg66 How did you figure out at 8 years old
@@suras8984 They made my alcoholic, family abusing, wife and child beating father a MS. I knew he didnt meet the qualifications, and most of the congregation did too. I knew Jesus didn't tell them to give him a position in the congregation! No spiritual direction at all!
@@DeniseHedberg66 Im sorry you went through that. My cousin went through something similar where her father was extremely abusive and he was highly regarded by everyone on the congregation. So much so that they did not believe her mom when she told the elders what he would do to her and even that he was cheating. They did not accept her divorce from him so that when she remarried another brother years later they disfellowshipped her for adultery. My cousin was still a kid and all her friends stopped talking to her. It was very traumatic for her.
@@suras8984 I have heard many with a similar story. Most of the ideas they have about "putting on a new personality " means hiding the person you really are from other JW's. It's a flawed system for a doctrine.
My father was an elder too and also my grandpa. I can relate to your struggles breaking away from the religion and the consequences that come with it. My sister was assaulted by members, even one dear woman killed herself. Thanks for speaking out about your experiences. It empowers ex members to do the same. Keep it up man
Ex JW here! Decided at the young age of 16 to leave! I’ve dealt with my fair share of life but I’m so glad I did it without it being tied to the congregation 🙌🏽
I just wanted to take a moment and acknowledge the strength and courage that it takes to share such a story and say “thank you” for trusting us with your story!
I have no idea what it must be like to be raised in a religious cult and certainly not what it is like to be transgendered nor having to leave my family behind (my parents and sister are the only reason I’m still here, I can only imagine how terrifying leaving them would be!), but as an empath that, like so many, was forged in the fires of others’ hate and abuse I do recognize much of the rest of your story and the journey you have taken to get here and it takes more strength and courage than most know. I am 48 now and have spent the past 36 years struggling with Complex PTSD and the myriad disabling chronic health issues and severe chronic pain that that my own abuse throughout adolescence caused (my physical health collapsed at age 18). My journey began at age 13 when my family moved and I started at a rural school where I was rejected socially and ostracized by all the students for being different and an outsider, so no friends (save for one other rejected student), and I was bullied dozens of times each and every day for six years by most of my peers and some faculty alike just because it served their egos to continually attack the one student that rejected violence - it has never been my way to harm others, though by the end of those six years I had more than enough bottled up rage and anger to have killed had I wanted to. I have long struggled with self-hate, the sense of worthlessness, and the feeling of being unworthy of other’s love as a consequence of being surrounded by so much hate and our self-identity is formed in adolescence based upon the valuation we see reflected back to us by our peers, which in my case was pure hate and disgust for myself. So I have also long struggled with the paradoxical reality that there exists exactly one person in all this world that I actually hate and that is myself, as I love all others (I reject hating people, though I may hate the things they do to one another). I also learned the hard way that those of us who grew up abused as children sadly tend to find that the abuse only continues to follow us into our adult romantic relationships when we inevitably find nothing but abusive partners that further the violence against us until finally we have that one extraordinarily violent relationship at 22 and you give up altogether on ever finding love (which is already challenging enough for demisexuals/demiromantics since we do not experience attraction in the absence of an established close friendship) and, combined with disability and the myriad health issues the abuse also caused we ultimately withdraw from society and largely isolate ourselves from the public to avoid further abuse and stress - which is exceedingly lonely as an adult! I tried to get help as an adult in my late teens only to be further abused by the psychiatric profession 30 years ago whose attitude at the time towards childhood trauma was basically “get over it, you’re an adult now!”, which is of absolutely no help whatsoever nor did they ever make any effort to assist with any of the trauma, even worse they blamed all my physical health issues and pain on somatoform disorder and then accused me of “failing them as a patient” when the antidepressants they prescribe had no effect on my depression nor the other physical health issues (I came to them mildly depressed due to my rapidly failing physical health only to leave literally teetering on the knife’s edge of suicide...gee, thanks for the help!). So, like many back then, our only option was to try and compartmentalize all that abuse as best we could on our own in an effort to try and move on with our lives as adults. But the C-PTSD always remains there, behind the scenes, *ruining* our life, health, and happiness in the background without us even fully realizing its full effects until decades later. That is, until middle age comes and all that compartmentalization begins to come crashing down and the C-PTSD returns full force in all its awful glory - flashbacks, triggers, general and social anxiety attacks, panic attacks, depression, dissociation, and emotional dysregulation all in full effect! Which is where I have been this past year and finally decided to take a chance on returning to therapy once again for the first time in nearly 30 years starting just a few months ago (which was terrifying given how I was treated 30 years ago)! Thankfully, the mental health profession seems to have come a long ways since then in terms of how they view and address childhood trauma and there are now good trauma-informed therapists out there - or I might not still be here. But this part of my journey has only just begun and I will likely be in therapy until the day I die at this point since it is getting addressed so late in life. It is an unbelievably lonely life and I don’t know if I will ever actually find a partner at this point in life given the damage that was done to my trust all those years ago and the myriad severe and disabling health issues I have to live with, but something has to change somewhere as I have not known happiness in more than 36 years...so hopefully something changes for the better at some point. But you are absolutely right about the shame and guilt as we carry far too much of it and, truthfully, most of it was never ours to bear in the first place as much of it belongs to those who burdened us with their own guilt and shame and convinced us it was our own. So focus on the future rather than the past and try to live life as the person you choose to be and be as authentic as you possibly can in living that life. You seem to have a very good and loving heart and mind and I am extremely grateful that you had the courage and opportunity to escape a life that would have otherwise suffocated you and wasted your true potential and now have this opportunity to be the real you!
Stay strong and know you have real friends out there in this world and are never alone! I’m really quite grateful that you have chosen to share your story and journey so that others may also discover that they are not alone when facing such in their own lives. An amazing amount of peace can come from simply knowing that one is not alone!
Hi, this was the first video I've ever watched by you. Thank you for sharing your personal life experiences. I am an exjw and I'm gay and happily married to my wife. As your extended lgbtq+ family, I'm sending you all my love! You're an inspiration!
I'm so happy that you were able to get out of that environment and that you're in a much better place. Thank you for sharing your story. I think about you often, you were one of the first trans people I found on youtube, and the first with a family- something I was convinced I was destined to live without. It's heartbreaking to hear how difficult it was for you to get to the place you are now, but it's inspiring to see how you were able to grow from that and move on. I wish you and your family nothing but the very best :)
I was baptized at 18, and left the JW org at 19, got married to my boyfriend who joined the air force at the time to escape. I know the pain, the loss of everything in the world you thought you knew, the feelings of being alone, and brainwashed. Long story short. I am now 59, and it took me a long time to learn how to cope with all of it, but it can and will happen. The feeling of being betrayed, and abandoned never really go away, but focus on who you want to become right now. You feel like you are keeping a big secret, but telling the story is therapeutic. Hang in there my friend. 🥂♥️
Hello, I am trans. Mtf and also raised as a JW. So inspirational of you to post this.
This is one of the best videos in which the Watchtower CULT is most accurately described! Thank you so much for sharing your story! You said so many things I can feel and relate to. Thank you for lending me your voice.
This is THE best video I have listened to about this and has been EXTREMELY healing for me this morning. Thank you! ❤️
I always love seeing your updates! I have learned so much from following you over the years. What a Handsome caring and respectful human being you are! Blessings in 2020.
Bravo! So well said. Do not be ashamed. You were born in. At least the light finally dawned on you. I despise the cult with every fiber of my being.
What an amazing brave and honest outpouring of your life. I to was raised a JW and you articulated so well many of the feelings I had. I mentally left in my 20s but didn't get physically out until I was 42 because I had a young family to protect and bat crazy wife.
The last 20 years have been the best to be physically and mentally free of this destructive cult. Time heals and life gets better the more distance there is. My only regret is still having 4 dear relatives in this brainwashed cult. I have a Plan to help them, it might work, I must at least try. Thank you for sharing your story and good luck for the future.
Thank you so much for this video. It moved me to tears. I know this must have been quite difficult for you. But thank you for doing this for the common good. Lots of love from Brazil!
I have watched Hundreds of hours of ex jw Videos and I have to say that was the most inspiring one I have seen since the first few that I saw six years ago you are spot on and I can’t thank you enough for making that video so powerful
Thank you for your video. I joined the JWs at age 22/23 years old. I know what you mean by being one on the fringes versus one who who is totally and fully immersed in the religion. I tried desperately to be like one of the born-in immersed ones but I never felt good enough or worthy enough. I left after about 27 years. After I started seeing videos of how persons like you felt about growing up in the religion it was an eye opener to me. I'm glad you got out too
Thank ur stars you escaped. Make sure you do research about their false doctrines so that you can be truly free.
WOW WOW WOW 😮
INCREDIBLE COURAGE !!
I am an exjw. ( Obviously by the name) my profile pic is me at age 4 around the time I was first molested by a man associated with the JWs.
I'm an old lady now... lol
Something I've learned throughout the years, as people will say to me, to let it go, put it behind you etc.
We grew up in that org. Our childhood experience is what made us who we are. Sure it was painful . Of course if we could choose a different childhood we would! What the jw teaching does, to children is mental and emotional abuse. And as anyone knows, healing from mental and emotional abuse is a life long and on going. It does take a consciousness effort to decide to be a better person than how we were raised. We all have value. We are all individuals. We each have something special to give to this world to make it a better place. JWs are molded to all be the same. Not to express individually. The only identity is that of JW. I honestly cannot imagine the torment that went through your mind growing up and being transgender.
I can see that you've come a long way and you have done much healing work / therapy .
This is the first time I've seen your channel, your video popped up , I'm assuming because it has to do with JWs, since I'm involved in the exjw community. I want to encourage you to do more videos about your childhood. There are so many exjws that have gone through or are going through the same things you have. And by taking about our past traumas it helps us heal , and sometimes we didn't even know we needed to.
I applaud your courage, and strength to have come so far.. .
Big HUGS to you. ♥️
I am a fellow exjw. It is good to talk about this. Unfortunately I have only starting to do this myself recently. I know it's hard. But, it feels good to open up.
Dade, thank you so much for opening up about this. I also had difficult moments with my religious past and have been thinking about doing a video about it for some time. But I know that, like you, I'll experience a lot of emotion in trying to talk about it...
Thanks so much for sharing your story. I left at the age of 16. It was so much pressure to be perfect, as a teenager I knew something was wrong. I felt guilty all of the time and depressed. Now at the age of 28, I'm unpacking just how fcked up I am. This is so affirming (because no one really understands), thanks again for sharing!
Hello Dade. I am so proud of you and your journey, because you have clawed your way out of hell on earth, only to turn around and inspire us who are following in your footsteps. Sometimes I wonder if I would be alive today if I hadn’t had your video on suicide to remind me that I had reasons to stick around. I certainly wouldn’t have come so far in my own journey and have began to learn how to be the kind of man I want to be; the same kind of man you are. Thank you for sharing, and I would personally love to watch more videos about your past, if you ever feel comfortable sharing.
Thanks, man. I am so glad you are alive and have chosen to keep fighting. I will share more about my past at some point.
Thank you so much for sharing this very difficult experience. I’m very grateful you continue to share with us here on YT. You are so authentic, inspirational and thoughtful. I always gain something from your heartfelt shares.
Hi there, really enjoyed your video and my heart goes out to you. As an ex JW I do understand your thoughts and agree. I had to leave my mother, brother & sister in the religion but have not missed it for a second. Since leaving I have never felt more accepted as a human being by supposedly ‘worldly people’ and have found many lovely friends that love me for being a good/kind person and for just being me, there is no judgment or agendas just true friendship. After nearly 30 years I still have those brainwashed teachings & guilt that resurface but it gets easier to push them away as time goes on. I have an awesome relationship with my Dad (he was never a believer but stuck with the family out of love until I left then he & my mother broke up) my brother & sister don’t visit him which breaks his heart but he, like me puts it in a box and we only talk about it every so often as it’s too painful otherwise. I do wish you all the best and please believe that you are a good person that deserves happiness! I believe that you can serve God by living a good happy life, respecting others, being kind & honest with not judging anyone. Take care, Jenny.
Welcome exjw! at the end of the day, it doesn't matter how you get your message or story out, the point is you did....thanks for your bravery on doing so....wish you the best on your new life journey, PEACE
-EXJW Roberto
I was baptised 14 , left 16 .
No life skills to navigate the world.
Absolutely not ideal for a girl to start her way without support and healthy guidance.
I relate to this so much
Love the choosing each day of what human I’m going to be .
The values are ingrained but I’m happy joyous and free to be me .
They robbed us , of the arts , music , politics , science , hobby’s , after school interests , making healthy connections and social skills outside the organisation. They robbed our grades , qualifications and careers.
We fully believed as kids that Armageddon was five mins away.
What a terrible thing to keep us in fear permanently.
@@MJ-rn9fx I am so glad you got out, and I am so proud of you for doing so.
Thank-you. As an ex-j.w. I know it takes years to ween. My husband has to remind me the guilt and shame I feel are taught by this organization. I'm truly glad you woke up. Merry Christmas, from a wee hamlet in Mono, Ontario.
Thank you for sharing. Yes, being raised a JW has been exactly what you've said.. no one truly understands unless you've lived it. You've helped me realize it's a daily thing to work on myself. I am on my own now with my adult sons ... it's just us because of the shunning and what I find fascinating is my sister who is no longer a JW is judging me and she doesn't see it because its ingrained in her thinking. I appreciate your openness.
Thanks for the honest sharing of such deeply emotional experiences. As I saw the triggering taken hold, I could see how the stress released cortisol muddled your ability to process...I know how frustrating that is! I thought you were starting to tell how you escaped and the challenges you had to over come. If you choose to make a part 2 covering that, I'd find it very interesting and it might help others if they knew what they'd face. Abusers use the unknown to keep people afraid to leave.
Shame is a waste of your soul! You didn't waste those years...the adversity in them made you a thinking, compassionate and independent being... You will NEVER take those things for granted because you now live and breathe their importance!
Good job on the vlogs and on building a life to be proud of. Hugs, Lynn
Nice video. Embrace getting older and the experience and wisdom it brings. As a child I believed my parents would never get old. They both did and passed away, my mother passed in her bed on a cocktail of painkillers at aged 98, thin and skeletal. That’s the reality, not living forever with lions and tigers and bears and big bowls of fruit.
This is the first time I've seen your channel. A couple of things that struck me:
1.) Having grown up in a strict Baptist household, I feel ya. I mean I REALLY feel ya. Your thoughts about the feelings that you still posses, those deep feelings of despair, anger, shame, fear, etc... they just never go away fully. They do get better, but they never go away completely.
2.) You made an excellent transition. I had no idea you were born female. You "look," "sound," and "move" like a man. Congratulations on being able to transition and finding love. That's so wonderful to hear. 💜
Thank you for your videos. You’ve had a big impact on me and my attitudes. Please keep making these, you’re inspiring and I have learnt so much from your journey.
Bravo! You are not alone! I too was a devote Jehovah's Witness until I was 25 years old. I even went to Bethel and served for 4 years until my truth (being gay) could not be contained anymore. I would see how other Bethelites, who were obviously gay, lived in a lie. It took 15 years of working two jobs, going back to college part time to finally get my life back. I haven't spoken to my family for over 20 years except for one time when my sister called me 8 years ago and told me that my father had died 2 years ago. They didn't tell me he passed because they didn't want me to be at the funeral. She also told me that if I wanted to come back they would welcome me back with open arms. Once I told her that I was married to a man and looking to adopt a child she told me that I was an apostate and I would never hear from them again which I haven't. I understand your statement of how the Jehovah's Witness teachings stays with you because even after 20 years I still feel weird if I celebrate a Christian Holiday or if I see two guys kissing or holding hands. It is a constant battle that I have to endure and I thank you so much for posting this video and showing other JW's that you can break free and have a normal life after JW's!
Thank you, you are awesome. So much insight and give yourself huge credit for making all the changes, understanding, realization.your story is so helpful and interesting. I hope you can love and appreciate yourself.
I watched this last night via my tv, and had mixed emotions with your candid story. I can't imagine how hard it was for you, but can only imagine. I had a friend who came out as lesbian, left the cult but was the nicest girl. I give you kudos to how open and honest you are with your story, and hope you can live a fulfilled happy life being who you were meant to be. Congrats to escaping from the cult too!
Thanks for coming out.
Hola! One of my FTM friend here have the same story as you (JW). We tallked once about his terrible experience. When he explained me I just could not understand and I still can't understand how parents can abandonned his child. He was litteraly left in the street like garbage.
You are very very smart indeed.
So much brain wash and still could find your way out. Lovely man.
Well done, my friend. You are courageous and strong. It took me years to get out through trying to please family. You will find the hate eventually recedes but it takes time. We don’t learn self love and strength in that organisation but you are finding it now. I find keeping a gratefulness diary helps, each day I find small things to be grateful for. Kind greetings from Australia.
I grew up in a home where my father jumped ship and went to an alternative Christian group, to which, fortunately for me, we celebrated Christmas and other holidays, and birthdays, went dancing and got a good education. When I turned 16 my father went BACK to JW’s and stayed there for 40 years. He tried to get me to go to JW MEETINGS, and parents asked me why I didn’t want to go to “meetings” with them? So I asked them “How come you can’t discuss bible scriptures outside of the JW magazines and books? Why are you only allowed to regurgitate what you read in the books and not allowed to think for yourself?” Well, after I played them a praise song on my guitar I had learned from a different church, it changed everything. My father started to question things and searching other biblical organizations. Unfortunately he got hooked into the Benny Hill false prophet apostolic movement. After mother died, unable to be healed from cancer, he abandoned that movement. He still didn’t want me in his life and wanted a “wife”, and that I would get in the way. After being angry at him for not picking him up early st the hospital when I came home he was there. He called me a liar and a thief and hit me with his cane. After that I never returned. He married his caretaker so that I would not be an heir to his property. That was the end of him as two months later he died leaving the house to the caretaker. I don’t regret it. He was a miserable old man who made it a point to inflict misery on both me and my mother. I would not be surprised that she preferred to die than to be with him, as they both didn’t believe in divorce. The JW’s I’m sure have ruined many lives using fear, shunning and intimidation. False religion puts out corruption that destroys people. However, this has not stopped me from believing and worshipping the REAL God, whose mercy on the weak has given hope for a future. It’s false religion that destroys relationships and the meaning of being a fulfilled human being. Don’t let false religion take you away from God. The devil wants to destroy God’s people. I don’t read FAKE BIBLES. Also, check out the J W Analyzer here on TH-cam. It’s never too late to be led by the Spirit and be fulfilled. Do your own research and keep searching. Knock and it shall be opened unto you. Never forget that verse. It will open up possibilities for you. Encouragement is from God. Discouragement is from the Adversary. Know your enemy.
Thank you for sharing your story, so brave, but will help so many. Wishing you all the best with your life x
I know that this offers no comfort, but all the events that you have been through did contribute to you becoming the person you are today. That is a pretty wonderful person too. So please learn to let go of the anger and think of the time as something well spent on educating yourself to the better person you were destined to become; and in what needed to be overcome. Kudos to you and keep on evolving. Your an inspiration to many.
Thank you thank you thank youuuu! So much for this! I’ve blocked out so many memories from being a JW but I know I’m not crazy. Going through therapy and dealing with a lot of this trauma that is now manifesting itself in my adult years. I feel validated 💕
I can completely relate to you. Wow, I feel like people like us understand one another on this sensitive subject. The second you said those years were stolen from you, I definitely saw the similarities in our past. My mother who put on an innocent face at the JW meetings, services, assemblies...etc, allowed my abuse. She had no problem watching me emotionally destroyed, as long as she looked like an angel around that cult....I earned the amazing reward of taking my happiness & running with it. I'm happily married & have children because I made the decision to take ownership of my own life.
Absolutely, totally true in everything you said. As a bred/born/& raised-in jw I can grasp each nuance you were explaining. I had to leave all friends, family and support when I was 16 which was especially bad because at that time there was no such thing as social media. Therefore, I truly thought I was alone in my experiences. Thanks to people like you, other youths may not feel so alone, isolated and crazy. Proud to be a new subscriber. (btw; I'm happy for both your "transitions." Glad you're happy, too.) 😊
Thank you for sharing this, Dade. I am very sorry you went through this, and I hope you continue to heal over time. There's so much hate in this current political climate, and I think your story can help a lot of people in these times. I think it can help people who are trying to escape hateful environments and it can help those who might have trouble seeing the humanity in people who harbor hate. So again, thank you for sharing.
I also grew up a Jehovah witnesses. 18 years. The hurt from it helped me become my full self. I dont regret it i embrace it and let that be part of the growing process
@Malik Young... have you heard of the great awakening by Blacks who discovered they are descendants of the true Israelitea. Look into this brother. It will TRULY free you.
Holy crap. I saw this on my recommendations and I thought "oh another Jehovah's Witness video" but then I realised I was following you because you're a trans TH-camr. It's SOO good to see the perspective of another trans ex-jw!
It's good to have someone who understands the pain that comes from the organisation.
Hey, brother. I admire your sincere and kind spirit. Thanks for sharing, painful though it was, your video is going to help many.
im so glad you got out.. and are able to see past the horrible things your parents have done to you, it is a struggle to keep the hate at bay but its a good struggle with huge personal rewards, so smile at yourself and all youve accomplished.. love is out there, its there for you, take it you deserve it
My grandmother (dad's mum) was a JW. She was VERY active. My dad left the faith after he had an argument with her about celebrating my first birthday -- I was his firstborn and he couldn't imagine not celebrating the birth of his child...What's more beautiful than giving thanks for the gift of a child but, of course, she saw it as idolatry, as something that ought never to happen.
Good on you for getting out and finding people who accept you and making space for yourself to be who and how you truly are. Nobody deserves to be cast away from their family and their faith. It hurts me that they disfellowship (my relationship with my grandmother was never the same after my dad accidentally outed me at a family dinner) and that they believe that's an acceptable thing to do.
Thanks for sharing. You are walking a path of courage.
Thank you for your courage to tell your truth. Bless you
Hi. Thanks for your story. I’m a 4th generation born in fully shunned XJW. Unconditional love to you and your sister 💕
Dont be ashamed. Not at all stand proud that you got out. That experience makes you stronger. You know how much courage and strength it takes to leave your family, friends, and all you have ever known? Then be shunned as well. Keep your head up. No shame.
Oh my goodness I watch your channel anyway and just saw this video of yours! I’m an exjw too! Oh my goodness this gives so much more depth to the meaning of things in your channel! Congrats on breaking free and living free!
Dave! I have watched you since the beginning...thankyou for sharing this extremely important message which i feel is even more important and bigger than sharing of you transitioning (which is very heartfelt and opened my eyes to the struggles) CULT RELIGION IS THE WORST form of abuse to humanity. May God and the holy spirit continue to help guide you through this brainwashing . You have had 2 MAJOR struggles to overcome ... AND YOU DID IT ❤️ your blogging is the best form of therapy for you as well as us who follow. You open peoples eyes minds and hearts to see the SOUL not just the package. Your Soul made a contract before coming to earth (birth) and it is solving issues it wanted to experience. You are ASCENDING🙏🏻 love you and keep on trucking cause theres lots to accomplish. (I also feel that Lord God will and is at this very moment bringing HIS JUDGMENT DOWN UPON THESE CULTS AND BIG RELIGIONS as we speak! vatican/catholicism, Jehovas Watchtower, Scientology, and several others which we are all have heard of “Mega churches” ... KEEP SPREADING THIS STORY BLESSINGS 🥰
Myself and so many other people can relate to this video . Good on you for sharing your story!
Thank you, I’m glad you did post this. Take care!
So wonderful to meet you... Thank you for sharing.
I so understand. I still think of people as being "worldly," even though I've been out for decades. I'm still mentally in as far as that goes.
Nooo!! Join an ex JW support group, and you'll start to see that the Watchtower Society is a really bad cult...
I’m so glad that you did post it. I’m an ex jw and this is the 1st video of yours that I’ve ever seen. I’m in a big hurry right now so my comment will be short but I want to tell you that this video was done absolutely perfectly. You’re very brave. Keep putting out videos because you have a unique way of coming across and you will help many.
Friend, I can't say I traveled the same road you did, but I was a child of the Jehovah's Witnesses. I clearly recall being a terrified child, being isolated from all things "worldly." Your description of being woefully and inadequately equipped socially as a young adult upon escaping is spot on.
I'm turning 60 in July. I say I'm over all that but still, today, I found you on TH-cam.
Generally, I'm no longer angry and confused about being forced to go to Kingdom Hall and giving talks. I am a female, so obviously I was only permitted to give mock service call or Bible study instruction presentations.
I look back on all that as super unfortunate. My parents were just idiot drones. Exerting complete control over their children was the norm for them. My experience is likely far different from yours, yet wildly similar. All of us children of JW have a strong common thread.
I felt your obvious pain watching this TH-cam. I know. I do. But please know that you are you now. You aren't them anymore. Don't give them that power over you. Don't. Turn around. Look. Everything can be really good if you want enough for it to be.
I'm so proud of you. Go forward and live.
Big hugs.
Good job man. It takes a lot of courage to talk about those things and post them online. I can relate to a lot. I'm an exmormon and the Mormons are similar to JW's in a lot of ways. I was shunned for choosing not to get married and asking questions about the "CES letter" (someone wrote a letter to the church education system asking all of the questions the church had been avoiding). Anyways, shunned Mormons aren't announced like they are in the JW's, people just kind of start ignoring you. I researched everything about church history band then my whole world fell apart. Everything started when I started college. I began to learn critical thinking and couldn't help but see these problems. I wasn't trying to disprove anyone. So now I have lots of trust issues and I often don't want to go outside. I have this kind of paranoia of the outside world that I can't seem to get rid of. I like what you said about choosing to be the man I want to be everyday. I like the idea of being able to start over each day new. One more thing, I grew up in Vancouver Canada, and so it was much easier for me to leave. This is probably the least religious city in Canada. Also, I can relate to being filled with hate for non-mormons back when I was a member. I've forgotten more about being a butthead than most people will ever know
You are very informative and easy to understand. Thank you for your bravery.
I could have made this video. 5 years ago, I pretended to be sick to get out of Saturday morning field service, and packed my stuff into garbage bags and left while my mother and sister were out preaching. The first 22 years of my life were stolen from me, and now that I'm 3 years on T, I can finally see how truly fucked up it all was. Thanks for choosing to post this even though it's hard.
Thanks for posting the video. Got to say that this is the first video of yours I watched and was caught off guard when I found you were FTM. My husband and I totally support you, just didn’t expect it.
First what an amazing transition damn.2nd I am happy to hear you escaped from those crazies.Dont look back.Dont let your family make you miserable over it.Create a good life for yourself with great friends!☺️
You're an honest to God superhero Dade. Thank you for your honesty. I hope you continue to be triumphant through your obstacles