What Cults Tell Us About Ourselves | Amber Scorah Scorah | TEDxPaloAltoSalon
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 พ.ค. 2024
- Amber Scorah is author of the memoir Leaving the Witness. Growing up in the Jehovah's Witness faith, Scorah moved to mainland China to become an underground missionary. In China, she came to question these beliefs and left the religion. Shunned by family and friends as an apostate, Scorah was alone in Shanghai and thrown into a world she had only known from the periphery, with no education or support system. After growing up in the Jehovah's Witness faith, Amber learned Mandarin Chinese and moved to Mainland China to become an underground missionary. In China, encountering a new culture and making friends outside the faith for the first time, Amber came to question the beliefs she had been taught from childhood and ended up leaving the religion.
Amber later moved to New York City, where she began a new life. Several years later, her three-month old son died on his first day in childcare. After this tragedy, Amber became a parental leave advocate. Combining forces with a Republican mother, their bipartisan efforts brought the cause of parental leave to the forefront of the 2016 presidential campaign. She was named one of the 100 most influential people in Brooklyn culture by Brooklyn Magazine.
Her writing has appeared in The New York Times, The Believer, The Boston Globe, The Cut, The Globe and Mail and USA Today. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
My husband became a Jehovas Witness.....we had to get divorced because life became so unbearable, my daughter nearly took her life, we lost our home and our security. We were left with nothing. One family destroyed because one man was convinced that he was better than everyone else. I hate everything they stand for!
I hate them too. They destroyed my family.
Willow Monroe I’m so sorry for everything you lost. It is a devilish religion. I was in it for years. I’m shunned by many but I understand because I was once one of them. So glad to be out of it. I’ll never be a member of a controlling religion again. Life is good. Hope yours is too.
What a terrible man... HE deserved to lose his home, so the JW would have found it for him 😡
We really should hear his side of the story before jumping in the judgment seat. I'm not a JW, but I've known quite a few of them, and found them to be fairly approachable, if you came to them with respect instead of fear and coldness. A good part of the problem is our inability or unwillingness to take an interest in those whose views may differ radically from ours.
I was raised a JW and the thing that broke down my trust in the religion was learning about the signs of an abusive relationship and psychological manipulation. It became impossible to ignore how many of those tactics are used by the religion. The concept of information control was, to me, the biggest and most inexcusable red flag.
True. I can even see aome of those redflags in religious communities which are not cults
I suspect that was confirmation bias on your part.
@@steven-el3sw I desperately wanted to believe this religion was good, so no.
Was evangelical and same!! I often say learning about abuse and how it works led straight to my deconversion
It's so amazing to see A TEDtalk about being an ex Jehovah's witnesses I'm an ex jw and lost my family and everything I knew I haven't seen my family in 15 years I'm grateful that this is being brought out in to the open
Me too.
@@jimbobaggans1564 That means we should be bf's ✌👍👋😊
Me too, precisely the same. The Watchtower Society HAS TO BE denounced and exposed for their lying, manipulation and damage to family and the youth of so many of their members.
@@Peekaboo-Kitty interesting point of view. I wish I would have heard that 20 years ago.
PAULO--from BRAZIL=YAHAVE GOD loves you much more than you can imagine. He never forgot you and will never...
Thank you Amber. I was born and raised in Scientology and went through the same exact process/experience that you described here so well. It's been 11 yrs now since waking up, leaving the cult, losing my family, etc, and I am STILL trying to integrate my experience. Ppl not born into cults will never appreciate what its like to have to change direction 180 degrees mid-life with absolutely no road map or support/help on how to do so - it's the ultimate leap of faith, like jumping off a building hoping you will be able to fly.
It is nice to hear from someone from a different cult. We don't hear from someone that was a born in of Scientology very often. It's nice to hear your perspective on Scientology compared to Jehovah Witness. If you tell a Jehovah Witness that they are in a cult, they get angry. We Are Not A Cult, is what they proclaim. But, when you compare the two, you see that they are just opposite sides of the very same coin. That you could walk out of the door of Scientology and walk into the door of Watchtower without knowing when you left the one and entered the other.
Hi Rainez024, It is an incredibly brave thing to do! Before leaving many explore their doubt, but, in my experience, actually taking the first step way is filled with fear and uncertainty. The good news is many brave souls have made the leap and are willing to share their experience. Most Ex-JWs found it very interesting that Leigh Remini has taken time to explore the similarity between leaving experience of Ex-Scientologist and Ex-JWs.
@@marycurlee2163 Hi Mary. While I self-identify as an atheist I continue to read and quote the Bible. I also continue to be religious. I joined Valley Unitarian Universalist here in Chandler in 2015. I've given 3 sermons for VUU. If you search TH-cam for "randy galbraith" you should be able to find them. The first sermon explains my journey from JW to VUU. In any regards I'm glad you've found a path wherein you're making the choices and they're based on conclusions you've come to. In contrast Jehovah's Witnesses are expected to follow, without question, the dictates of the men who lead the organization. Kind regards, -Randy
@Trudy K
That is the best discription I have ever heard. I must remember that. That is exactly what it's like. You must let it all go Neo. Fear, doubt, and disbelief. Free - your - mind.
You said: "Ppl not born into cults will never appreciate what its like to have to change direction 180 degrees mid-life with absolutely no road map or support/help on how to do so."
I say: You're missing the whole point of her presentation. Cults...are not only in religion, but in everything around us...Culture. We are all susceptible as humans to fall into cults..culture.
People from all walks of life face challenges everyday, and there are many causes. You could be religious or non-religious, spiritual or not. So to say that people who are not born
into cults will never appreciate what it is like is completely false. If you look around, and listen, or watch, you might someone's family die in a car crash, or a whole village wiped
by a natural catastrophe, or maybe even a homeless person. The point is....never say never. And stop trying to make people feel sorry for you, just wake up tomorrow and make a
positive difference to yourself and others. Rinse and Repeat.
I like how she compares leaving a cult to any change in worldview. It is scary to change your worldview whether political, religious, or cultural. I think we all need to go through that to open our eyes and grow
YES!
"you just don't understand" is such a classic response from cult members.
It's what my family told me after I left. "You just never made The Truth your own; you don't understand anything about us."
Mind you, this is the same family that took me to the weekly meetings since I was a child, applauded my first Bible reading on the theocratic ministry school, and proudly touted my pursuit in becoming an elder. Somehow, in all that time, they think I learned nothing. 🤦🏻♂️
@@-Zer0Dark- I too was born and mostly raised as a witness. (Birth to 16 years old). Got baptized at 8, started pioneering at 9, and started having deep doubts around 14. When I was 16, my family finally fell apart due to my father's abuse, and I realized that I hated this religion and instead of being "no part of the world" I wanted to be no part of this cult. So I stopped pioneering, attending meetings. My family always regarded me as the level-headed, logical, deep thinker. Randomly, I went from having wisdom beyond my years, to an overly emotional, lost kid within a week of saying I was done with the JWs. I spent 70+ hours in the ministry every month for 7 years, had been on assembly and convention parts, but the second I showed some independent thinking, I was viewed as a lost sheep. Wild. So I get it man.
She speaks way better than anyone on the governing body or majority of the "brothers" I knew in years.
George Orwell was thinking the same thing, and wow she seems intelligent
Yes, it would appear not having Jehovah's spirit direction or blessing has the benefit of making you more engaging as a speaker.
Yes. Humans speak more eloquently than robots😁
@@orpheusuk8762 I'm an ex Jehovah's Witness too so don't talk about Jehovah's Spirit like that Jehovah and Jesus and the Holy Spirit have helped me through some horrible situations so you don't know what you're talking about
@@lynnentler5725 I'll consider your extraordinary claims when you can provide extraordinary evidence.
May i add, don't attempt to control the opinion or speech of others just because of your preferred manner of thinking. You have learned nothing since your cult indoctrination.
Spot on! "You see the world differently after you leave." So true. As a JW I was judgemental of everyone - not vocally but internally. I no longer feel the sense of entitlement that I did believing I was was only one with the truth. So glad to be out.
God bless, fellow Latter-day Saint here.
Leaning towards Post-Mormon here.
I used to explain to people that the sky was truly bluer. I couldn't explain it....but everything was different. The cognitive dissonance that occurs in a cult is unbelievably powerful. Those still in a cult or Jehovah's Witnesses, please, please consider you may be brainwashed.
Ditto my friend.... I never realised how judgemental and self righteous I was until leaving.
Appreciated your comment.
@BiteYerBumHard so true! I feel the same
JWorg is basically a coercive pharisaical (elitist) legalistic "spiritual"-MLM (& real-estate + publishing pyramid-scheme).
The following verse may shed some light on their kind of internal indoctrinated self-righteous attitude:
“They say, ‘Keep to yourself; do not approach me, For I am holier than you.’”
{Whilst such conceit infuriates both God & regular decent people}:
“These are a smoke in my nostrils,
a fire burning all day long.”
(Isaiah 65:5)
3rd generation born in. 49 years in 5 years out and a happy apostate. Thank you Amber. cult free life is GREAT
Good for you!!
It takes a lot of courage to get out after so much time. You're an example to others who are too afraid to make the move. 👍🏻
"When my thinking changed, the world changed" - yes! Bravo!
I have been out of the CULT of Jehovahs Witnesses for 3 years now.
So, so glad that I decided to walk away. My mother also walked away at the same time I did. Glad you also got out!
Both me and my mother walk out too this year 2019
How many years were you in? Congrats!
So glad you’re out. Glad I left too. ☺️
How did you get your mom to leave it too? I want to leave but I can’t in fear of loosing all my family and friends overnight :( pls any advice would be very appreciated.
Fantastic!
Very eloquent and balanced.
Most who leave Jehovah’s Witnesses don’t understand how they’ve been controlled and manipulated, many leave but don’t wake up.
To wake up and leave, and then go on to understand how cults work in cultural society ( not just JW’s ) and explain it so eloquently to an audience that have not had the same experience as exceptional.
I was born into the cult to end all cults, and spent the first 25 years of my life in it. I can truly say you never ever truly leave a cult. I still have cult thinking, still find myself looking at the world through the cult's eyes. It hasn't really existed (the cult I mean) for thirty plus years now but that doesn't really matter. It doesn't control my life or my finances any more, but it will always will control some parts of my mind.
Thank you Amber, I left the cult of JW 2 years ago, my eyes have never been this open, I have never had this much anxiety, and I have never loved people like I do now. Your hard work helps more become free thinkers, keep it up.
Leaving the JWs was so weird. It is still difficult. I'm not disfellowshipped but i don't go anymore... but my mum dad and brother and entire family are in it and they think i'm crazy for not believing it anymore!
Cottonsocks434 it’s the hardest thing you’ll ever do but it just shows strength encourage to do the right thing all the time for yourself for your future I was broken and now repairing or replacing what is needed to start again after 47 years as an elder and a Bethelite in Brooklyn. Going on three years now and healing day by day.It’s never right to do the wrong thing just keep that in mind as you make your decisions
You are the wisest one for leaving. I grew up in it, and through research definitely know it's not the truth, sometimes it takes looking outside the organization to get truthful,honest answers.
You don't have to go get yourself disfellowshiped- I never was going to give them that joy of doing that. I left and that's that 30 yrs later still shunned by my dad
Same here.
Well done Amber!As an ex-Jw shunned by my family I am happy you are getting the message out .This is a powerful talk. I wonder how many witnesses that need to wake up will listen to this?
Anyone that shuns family like that is not following the God. Jesus and Holy Spirit I know. Hang tough. They're the issue. Not you
@@DJK-cq2uy 😬rewatch this video
I escaped the Jehovah's Witness cult three years ago. My wife and I have never been happier.
I just left the Mormon church 🙌. I was so indoctrinated that it's a miracle I questioned the church long enough to get out. She right, people who are in a cult don't realize they are in one.
ash.
or They(JWs)are in reality, so Stubborn and Narcissistic that, they know it's a cult and filled with false beliefs and harmful practices; Yet, They love the sense of Control and Power and Superiority Over Others that Cult Membership brings along with it.
To leave or stop promoting the cult and rethink their lives, would force them to Admit To Being Wrong, Admit They are Not Special, Relinquish Their Need for Control and Influence over others,Face Hidden and Uncomfortable Self Truths and Inner Fears.
Force Them to Question what Their Present and Future holds under New Beliefs and Practices.
Often this is scarier than just remaining a WT Robot.
They also would have to acknowledge past harms and abuses they may not want to think about or apologize for.
@@sparklecanada0112 You are projecting a lot of things on a whole group of people. But people are individuals, and not all will fit into the box that you are trying to push them into.
I actually listened to a talk from a native Chinese JW in China, and the experiences she went through with a type of persecution from her government. And this particular person had a very positive faith, which made her live above these circumstances. So I don't believe that everyone is harmed by their particular religion: people who look for the good, will follow and find it, even in the most unlikely places.
And actually, people need some kind of framework, some "truth" or system by which to govern and regulate their lives. Man's nature, unrestrained, is not a pretty thing. If you want the JW people to "come out of their box", what are you offering them that's better?
Never realize until you're way deep in.
People go from one cult to another. So which did you join after? The American cult? The socialism cult? The liberal cult or the conservative cult?
@@natediaz1863 I left the Hebrew Israelite cult. Well...1 of them. I get into it some on my channel
I am currently in the process of fading from this cult. It is hard. The subtle threats of being cut off from family and friends is pointed at my neck.
Keep going my friend.
There is a huge community as im sure you are aware on social media.
If i can assist, then just ask.
Take care.
Same
So... this was a year ago. How are you doing now?
Beautiful to see a strong woman giving a talk like this where she wouldn't have been able to do anything of this sort as a witness
Her eyes do not look dead!
They SHINE
What no she totally missed represent us Ex JW women what wrong with y'all sat us back 100 year l could not really hear the talk because I was stung on her looking like Carrie why she do that to us we already had to be seen not heard unless we comment or give a talk at the hall can get with awesome and great job can't see it blocked my hearing and vision l guess that what cults do that part was good because I lost all respect for JW and I was born in will will. But glad you out.
Leaving the Jehovah's Witnesses damaging and dangerous CULT was your BEST decision EVER!!! It was ours..
It's interesting how both the Jehovas and Muslims consider leaving the religion the most vile sin you can commit. It's like those penalty fees you pay for terminating a bad contract: they'll do whatever it takes to keep you "in", be that monetary punishment, ostracism or even death.
Ex-Mormon here and I can SO relate! Thank you for your brave words!
I was about 10 years old when someone in the JW congregation was disfellowshipped. I thought it was terrible that we couldn't talk to her. She probably needed a friend. Needless to say, it wasn't much longer that I was outta there !
Thank you Amber. You speak with clarity, humility and a voice that longs for fair and respectful discourse unhindered by religious silos. You went to China and found yourself and your world grew. You have thrived and grown and outgrown the patriarchy of your childhood. Go well and keep speaking up in a world that often cherishes conformity over “independent thinking”.
Rody, you're insightful. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Beautifully said, Amber. It's so wonderful to have fellow ex-JWs who are proving that good can be done to advance humanity.
Me too. I was pioneer, missionary and blind-minded. When left this cult I've lost everything - friends, family, community, job, apartment. I started developing my life from scratch after moving to another city. First I took care of education and better job. It was hard to do - side result was temporary depression. Now It's way better - finally there is lot more truth in my life, found amazing people... and what most important found myself.
Leaving Christianity was one of the best decisions of my life. I’ve never been more happy or loved more deeply. We just have one life and it’s on Earth. Nothing makes you appreciate it more than being an atheist.
That was excellent and filled with so many good points! The problem with cults is that when you're in one, you can't see the forest for the trees. You get lost in teachings and beliefs that are repeated ad nauseum until you no longer think for yourself - you just obey and follow. Once you get out of a cult, you wonder how on earth you couldn't see that it was a cult, and it's almost equally impossible to figure out how to get loved ones to wake up and see this too.
Susan Gaskin well said..... and thanks ever so much for all your videos and activism you really helped me on my journey of awakening. I hope your well. Xx
So so true. Susan.
That last part especially.☹😢💔
Trying to awaken loved ones is frustrating at best and nearly futile at worst.😢😢💔
@@sparklecanada0112 I agree. I think I'm finally accepting that everyone has a different path and different life lessons to learn.
@@SusanGaskin A counselor once mentioned that in his early years of recovery he would have made the mistake of trying to fix people. I've realized most people don't want to see the truth or change to help themselves. So, I just focus on my own journey.
13:45 When you change the way you look at something, that something changes.
Love ❣️❣️❣️
I left The Jehovahs Witness Organization too. Its extremely hard to leave because you loose everything- family, friends, reputation, dignity, etc.
I now have more love for people than I ever had as a Jehovahs Witness trying to "save lives".
Much love to you Amber for doing this Ted Talk.
Believe, they didn't take your dignity away from you. Your dignity made you have the strength to leave. I'm really glad for you
Well done Amber. Too bad religions/cults are still a thing in the 21 century, I wish one day humanity will free itself from these shackles!
alexQw33 Humanity can never be free. You are covered in chains.
It has nothing to do with “religions”. If you “free” yourself from them all you will have is nihilism and self destructing societies. Which is already happening.
Luke Ricker, Quite the oposite, religion is incompatible with science progress and humanity’s enlightenment. Never good people has caused so much suffering and destruction than those inspired by a religious belief. I understand that this is not a welcome notion, but there are no goods, not even one, all the goods that societies have believed in at one point in history, have been invented by people to control people.
@@alexQw33 And I disagree with you. Science in the broader sense is a study of the laws of nature. As it is practiced today, it is an abuse of the knowledge of the laws of nature to satisfy man's lust for power and riches. Real religion, on the other hand, is a study of the moral laws of nature. There are physical laws, mental laws, and moral laws. Because modern atheism rejects the moral laws, the result is that scientific knowledge of the physical world, will mainly be used to destroy society. It is the equivalent of putting a machine gun into the hands of a baby.
You state: "All the gods that societies have believed...have been invented by people to control people." You can only say this because you have never made a serious and deep study of religion. Take a man like Gandhi, for example...a deeply religious man, whose whole aim was to free people, and to find freedom. But freedom starts with having your inner man free from selfishness. Without inner freedom, any outer freedom is very, very temporary.
Religions are just cults with tax deductions.
Student-ISK Muhammad ZeeshanUdDin 9B ... thank you, but no thank you. I like a world with no religions much better
Thank you Amber for your courage and intelligent and honest observations. I was in the same religion for 42 years before I finally saw it for what it is- a hurtful cult. It has been a long and painful journey to try to salvage something of my life after all those years. It helps so much to know that there are brave souls out there who have shared that journey and are making it through, day by day. I wish you peace and all the best life has to offer. Please take care.
Wonderful talk. As an ex-JW I can definitely relate. One of the JW mantras is that they are living "the best life", and nothing could be further from the truth (no pun intended). Life is just so much better after your purge your mind of that toxic ideology. The challenges of life are still there, whether that's health issues, economic issues, relationship issues, but not having this infantile outlook on the nature of things helps you deal with them better, in a more productive way. Now when I listen to the things my JW family says, and believes, I'm constantly reminded of the lyrics from the song "Judith" by A Perfect Circle, "you're such an inspiration for all the ways that I will never, ever choose to be".
I agree but not while making us look like we look like we about to run out with knife any minute. Love her but she not qu ready to share theJW witness experience to you guys on Ted TALK poor representation exJw women she need some growth.
such a great talk and the linking of Kuhn to cultic thinking was brilliant and brave, especially for the fact that you were giving the talk in Silicon Valley, the very heart of a new Kuhnian paradigm. way to go Amber!
What's the silicon valley paradigm?
Bravo !! Well said from one exjw to another
Hello fellow ExJW
Good morning, fellow apostates!
I ❤️ Aposates!
Hi fellow ex-cult members!
There's not much video on jehovah witnesses?!
Thank you! This is a very accurate description of the experience someone has and the process they go through, when they decide to leave a cult. And you are right: no one knows they’re in a cult, when they’re inside a cult.
O she made that plain and real when she came on stage look like she came out of underground shed Ain't no body got time for that!! Born in and still can't believe she represent us Ex JW female like that who's idea was that.
Amber's book is just wonderful! I highly recommend it if you haven't had a chance to read it!
Title?
@@micheletorok3838 Leaving The Witness by Amber Scorah
Finally, thanks Amber. We need more awareness.
Thank you Amber for sharing! Your experience and book helped me to uncover the truth about 'the truth'. Forever grateful. X
Great to see the tide of information coming out, exposing the damage fundamentalist religions do to their own members.
Thank you Amber for your story, it’s one I knew well - so it gives me hope and context to hear it through your experience.
Thank you for your bravery.
What?
mary curlee What, what?
Well done Amber! You are changing lives by sharing your story!❤
Fantastic presentation Amber!
I only wish that I heard this when I was 16.
“Our truths feel comfortable. Could that be making them more true than they really are??”
This sounds very similar to the LDS religion. (Mormonism) It’s an entire lifestyle, not just a Sunday morning service.
Yeah. Both are deadly American cults
There are literally thousands of cults.
It is very similar. I was raised Mormon and when I left, some of my friends told me they couldn’t talk to me anymore, and a little while afterward, I lost my best friend because of something she did that made me realize she was actually a toxic person. I left almost two years ago, and I still have struggles with things I was taught as a kid that I now know are not true. I have a hard time dressing how I want, saying what I want, and especially have a hard time with expressing my emotions rather than holding them in, because there is a sort of stigma in the LDS church that if you aren’t happy all the time, you were doing something wrong. Because of this, a I refused to feel anything that wasn’t happiness, which made it harder to feel anything. I also have some issues with internalized homophobia. A lot of people make fun of Mormonism and see it as something annoying, but generally harmless, along with things like Jehovah’s Witness and Scientology. It is not harmless. Don’t let them pull you into it.
Thank you so much Amber! You did such a great job!!! Love how you exposed the REAL TRUTHS of this cult. From the outside it looks very happy and peaceful, but from experience, this cult is VERY toxic and mentally draining. Currently faking it until I make it so to speak, because my current situation won’t allow me to leave this cult at the moment. Can’t wait til the day I can finally break out and be freeee!!!
You will.
Jimbo Baggans Thanks for the encouragement!:)
Me too
@ Aja Selah - It is OK to stay in WT as a PIMO (physically in mentally out), the shunning by family is horrific. Start to plan your escape - make new friends, move to a new town etc. Lose WT but keep your faith. Jesus died for you. Your Heavenly Father loves you. Visit '4jehovah.org' or '4witness.org' also YT channel 'Witness for Jesus'. Pray for help - Holy Spirit will give you amazing strength to cope with the pain of leaving the cult. Blessings to you dear one. 🙏👍❤️😊
It would be great if there were more ted talks shining a light on how damaging the Watchtower society has been for families all over the world, people need to be informed how the organisation operates before they get sucked in my the dogma
I’m a proud ex Jehovah witness and I have not world to better descríbenos deeply and amazing I think this talk and this woman is. Wish you the best of luck. Truly great talk and education.
What
Upon seeing the title, I wonder if I can relate this to my upbringing as a Jehov- oh!
A true inspiration, hope nothing but the best for you Amber!
I've no experience of life within a cult...but you highlighted something that I've been wondering about for a long time: how it comes that new scientific theories often receives such heavy back-lashes, even when double- or triple-confirmed by other scientists.
Thank you for sharing - and for shedding a light on this, for me at least rather perplexing question.
Thank you. As an ex JW I can say its amazing to experience this paradigm shift. So happy to no longer be "under the influence" of everything. Using a metaphor, I rebooted myself. I needed to shut down and then restart to clear the errors and the infectious virus that was hacking my brain. I have systematically built virus protectors in my mind. By that I mean knowledge. Critical thinking. Challenge everything while at the same time have an open mind. Just because we receive information doesn't mean we have to accept it as fact. In other words, just because one believes something - it doesn't make it true. That was my "aha" moment. Thank you again.
Go Amber! Love your work!
That was one of the best presentations I have ever seen. You are so exceptionally intelligent.
Cults are a serious problem for young people trying to find a connection with others. I came out of a Christian cult and although it was difficult it ultimately lead me to a life of freedom and a personal relationship with god.
I left my Evangelical church. My family goes back generations in this religion. My family, friends and church disowned me. I have never been more clear of my understanding. I have not left God. The church did. Rather than teaching the truth about a loving caring God. They preferred to preach fear. That is how indoctrination begins. You become to afraid to question anything.
Spectacular job Amber with such a profound, thought-provoking conveyance of your experience, especially in China recognizing the paradigms and done with a vivacious tone of positivity walking us through your awakening!
What?
I’ve been out for 5 years, I’m slowly remembering who I was before I joined them. You really bury all the trauma deep within yourself.
I used to be free, used to laugh out loud, danced without caring who saw me, I used to talk and make others laugh.
But now, I’m quiet. I’m reserved. My energy is so low, it takes so much for me to just socialize. I’m anxious about EVERYTHING. I can’t even drive, can barely make decisions for myself.
Some days the person I used to be shows up for the day, or an hour, even for 5 minutes. I get little glimpses here and there, but there’s so much weight on it that it can barely peek out.
People need to read 📚🙄the Holy Bible for themselves, and won't be decived.
This is awesome!!! Beautiful work getting to the heart of what a cult actually is and explaining it in such a clear way. Everyone (especially JW’s and PIMO’s) needs to see this.
Excellent information! So glad you woke up, so sorry you lost everyone.
Amazing! I could listen for hours.
Amber if you watch my comment i want to say to you that we have so much in common.
I was raised on JW since my 5 years old.
My father was already really sick after he came back of his military journey, PTSD, bipolar disorder and after a few years esquizofrenic.
So really needy, my mum start a bible study and after fews month also my father.
For 13 years our lifes were a big mess of stress and confusion dealing with the mental sickness of my father that became completely obsessed and violent about the bible and start believe he was anointed and my mother dealing with working a lot to pay the bills because my father couldn't work and didn't want to because he didn't want to make money to be a good follower of Christ like as he was always listening in meetings. So our routines were 3 times week on the meeting and preach on week end.
Of course we all had a burnout and my mother ask for divorce my father after 24 years of marriage.
At that time i was 17 years old and a lot of anger for the stressful and restricted life where I was prevented from studying at school or having any kind of personal goals like becoming a musician or doing sports. So after the divorce i found a way to leave JW. I started smoking on a regular base and go to the elders explain that i was as an unrepentant sinner so they would have to disfellowship. I stayed disfellowship for 10 years until my father, who lost his sanity for losing his family, suffered loneliness and disgust because the JW organization annulled his baptism, almost committing suicide, died suddenly in a psychiatric hospital.
I was devastated, lost with great guilt feeling that it was God's punishment for being disfellowship.
So in an act of despair, of shame, to redeem myself and see my father again, I returned with all my strength to what I had fled 10 years earlier. Going through all the processes of spiritual recovery, I was once again a jw and I got the person I was living with to become a JW to. In this recovery time it was my mother and sister's turn to be disfellowship.
and I caught myself accepting this rule of never having contact with them again after all we had been through. I became a pioneer and my husband also became a pioneer and became an elder.
But since last year, seriously trying to sort out the traumas of my past, with a lot of depression and Suicidal thoughts seeing how tired I was of preaching hours, not having time for normal rest, travel or other things, of noticing too much hypocrisy and emotional manipulation, fears of not doing well or not doing enough, I realized that what I was, everything I had been through, the decisions I made myself make were not my fault but the constant brainwashing that had been imposed upon me and all my family.
Now in my 40s without children, married to a loving and humble man who unfortunately corresponded too well to the fraternal dynamics of the organization, I am sure that I was a victim. And trained from a young age, I managed to drag someone else into this vicious circle from which I am determined to leave.
The bottom line is that we believe we do things for the good of others, and in reality we are ruining a person's personality and brain.
The "positive" now, but it causes me the same anxiety, is that I know very well how things work in the organization and all the protocols for who they are as they say "spiritually weak" and that is where they will have great issues managing the situation with me because I know the music by heart!
Excelent talk! Cultishness exists in all venues of human existence--thank you Amber for shining a light on our human need to belong--and thus fall prey to control by beliefs that strangle our individualities and free choice. I'm so glad you broke free and are telling your story. My fall from WT/JW was much messier and less conscious, but I'm grateful every day to be free of the destructive and damaging dogma that held me captive since childhood. I hope this talk will reach those who question, have doubts, and are charting their safe departure from the stranglehold of WT.
The court in Russia now holds the trial over the elder who pressured the belivers to stay in JW religion threatening them that they will never see their sons again who are JWs. They are breaching the fundamental human rights, including the right to choose and freely leave religion, to choose education, medical treatment, employment, etc. The court in Kazakhstan will consider soon the application of a number of JWs alleging humiliation of their dignity and sufferings after they left JW religion. JW's leaders are complaining about mistreatment, but they are silent about rampant violation of the rights of the ordinary JW by the elders and the judicial committees of the elders.
I have been raised, with no religion, or any spirituality. And it is so true, one cant force children, or any adults, to do as the cult/ure always craves, or indoctrinate anyone into believing there is just one and only solution to everything. One has to have the freedom to find ones own path. Its also really good to hear, a person talk and have come to insights of how all indoctrinations goes on, in whatever group one eventually find oneself in. Its always, a middleground which has, or can be found together, where all members voice or choices and, values has to be respected, not brainwashed into the same. If thats not there, it is not ok. Thank you for your wisdoms.
It was nice listening to your talk again. You are an inspiration! Thank you for the positive impact you have made and are continuing to make to those who may be questioning their belief systems! Looking forward to your future work.
I love her!! Bought her book and went to her book reading in Brooklyn. Such an amazingly articulate speaker and optimistic soul :)
Doing good, as you feel led;
Becoming better, as you wish;
Sharing love, as you feel able.
These are the guide-stones
of the faster path.
I left JW about 30 yrs ago and as a result i haven't seen my family since. Im 54 and know nothing about any of my siblings nieces or nephews. I agree...when my thinking changed my world changed.
I took a step back a few years ago to get a fresh look at churchianity. My faith is still in tact, but I believe the man made system is incorrect (starting with the biggest cult on earth, the Roman Catholic Church). Jesus is the real deal.
Awesome Amber! Awesome!
40 years in. Did it all in the "truth." Lost my whole family including my children and wife when I left 8 years ago. Glad you are calling this what it is...a cult.
Thanks Amber for word JW Cult. Congratulation. Brazil
All truth!! I was in the United Pentecostal Church for 28 years until I truly studied the Bible and realized they weren’t teaching about the God of the Bible
Outstanding👌🏻 Well spoken, perfectly described. Being born as a witness to a religiously devoted family, I am still told a decade later that leaving, means death to me and my family. After years and years of research, understanding the birth of Jehovahs witnesses and the ever changing beliefs they hold, the core belief standards have completely changed. Thank you for this video🙏🏻
Cults present themselves as something perfect, and once we see its flaws, that's when cognitive dissonance starts to take place and will continue until our view about them has completely changed.
Truth is always constant, whether we see it or not. Whether it's around us or not. Whether people like it or not.
What do you mean by this? Sounds like something a JW says. A problem is, they don't have the right to define "the truth".
@@liefjorgen Oh no, JWs do not get to define what is true. I meant what really is true, is always constant, what is true cannot be false. Truth is not something we possess such as the JWs are led to believe. We either go with the truth or we don't, but no-one possesses truth, we can adopt it or reject it but it still remains the truth, that's why it's a constant.
@@matilda4406 Thank you for your comment!
"What understandings do we hold now that could be wrong?" (11:24). Inspiring
Very well spoken and thought through. As a former 4th-gen Seventh-day Adventist, there are way too many parallels to count! Our 'shunning' wasn't quite as overt, but most other similarities are SO strong! (Growing up in this one cult, I also felt victim to a financial cult for 13 years -- so I guess I got a 'two-fer'. ;) Gratefully, the unraveling of the one led to the dismantling of the other.)
❤ On my way out. Feeling very incouraged ❤
Thank you for this talk. I wish other people would hear what Jehovah’s Witnesses teach. The witnesses have given the appearance of “they are just nice people who want to talk to you about the Bible.”
Thanks for sharing Amber. I hear you and see you. I’ve been there. Free from Christianity myself.
It took me forever to realize Christianity made no sense.
😥😥🙏🙏🙏 I so understand and relate to this story. Ex-witness too
Best presentation I’ve listened to yet! Intelligent but easy to listen to & follow.
I watched Daniel Everett before seeing this. She just confirms his message! Stunning! ❤️
Thank you Amber, so much for your precise logic and honesty! You are an exceptional example of an awakened consciousness! I am a survivor of 20 years in that mental prison as well- including time as an elder. Your practical and profound insights are refreshing!
"Seek first to understand, then to be understood"
understood"
-Stephen Covey
She is so beautiful. Her intelligence and physical appearance are both stunning. And I find her even more appealing since she went through experiences similar to my own.
Amazing speech! Thank you for speaking out.
Awesomeness
"New light" - very nice!
TEDx is a great platform !!! I've listened to many speaker's on different subjects ... it's an Eye Opener !!!...Thks, Amber... I'm an Ex JW too...🤗
I´ve NEVER been a JEHOVAH witness, but I´ve witnessed lots of cases here in Brazil in which entire families were destroyed. Besides that, lots of suicide cases. We can find lots of cults, not only there, but also in every corner........
As an ex-JW honestly all religions have forms of cultlikeness. All claim to be the only religion for salvation and even excommunicate their members. But as I learn more and more I realize how influenced I am by the “truths” they taught me my whole life and the absolute hypocrisy.
Thank you so much for your great talk. You explained it so calm and right to the point. I’m happy for you that you escaped and now talk about this to the world. 🙏
Awesome presentation Amber! 💚💜❤️
You are helping to validate our thoughts and reasons for leaving the JW CULTure!!
Much love and success in your new and amazing life! 💃💃
Excellent job amber! Keep up the good work 👍🏽
What no way
Outstanding talk! Thanks Amber!
This is great information, thank you for sharing!
Thank you brave one. So well said. Out for 2 years now. Not easy, but easier than living a lie
This is so well-articulated! I think deeply about cults & religions because I find this phenomenon of the mind amazing. I believe I have had a normal upbringing, but again, what's normal to me isn't normal to others.