Why you should define your fears instead of your goals | Tim Ferriss | TED

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 13 ก.ค. 2017
  • The hard choices -- what we most fear doing, asking, saying -- are very often exactly what we need to do. How can we overcome self-paralysis and take action? Tim Ferriss encourages us to fully envision and write down our fears in detail, in a simple but powerful exercise he calls "fear-setting." Learn more about how this practice can help you thrive in high-stress environments and separate what you can control from what you cannot.
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ความคิดเห็น • 1.7K

  • @omicron942
    @omicron942 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6434

    Dude that quote... "Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life". That's brilliant.

    • @instantentertainment9351
      @instantentertainment9351 6 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      Love it

    • @user-ez5vq9fd2t
      @user-ez5vq9fd2t 6 ปีที่แล้ว +88

      There is a very similar quote (don't know the source) that says something along the lines of, "If you do only what is easy, life will be hard. If you do what is hard, life will be easy."

    • @dpaganuccipag1700
      @dpaganuccipag1700 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Om

    • @SamuelEiche
      @SamuelEiche 6 ปีที่แล้ว +110

      "I've never met a strong person with an easy past."

    • @user-ix1tb6dp8e
      @user-ix1tb6dp8e 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Omicron942 you are right

  • @fajzulin
    @fajzulin 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1928

    Another very good one is:
    Good habits are hard to form, but easy to live with. Bad habits are easy to form, but hard to live with.

    • @jaceydurland9098
      @jaceydurland9098 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      That's a really good one.

    • @antoinetournecuillert1099
      @antoinetournecuillert1099 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Hard choice, easy life / easy choices/ hard life

    • @mohammadazzam269
      @mohammadazzam269 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Thanks for the quote !

    • @ranc1977
      @ranc1977 ปีที่แล้ว

      "Good habits are hard to form, but easy to live with. Bad habits are easy to form, but hard to live with."
      We won't notice if something is bad - through Deficiency motivation.

    • @raymondyap6412
      @raymondyap6412 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      That is a more elaborate version of "Easy choice, hard life. Hard Choice, easy life" Or maybe it is the other way around. "Easy Choice, hard life. Hard choice, easy life" is an abbreviation of "Good habits are hard to form, but easy to live with. Bad habits are easy to form, but hard to live with."

  • @claudio6032
    @claudio6032 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2368

    Now i know why Bruce Lee said: “Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one”

    • @Shotgunster
      @Shotgunster 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      I'm not sure but he probably was quoting someone from the ancient ones.

    • @Fujtajblus
      @Fujtajblus 3 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      @@Shotgunster At the end of the day, it does not matter who said it, only that this wisdom is carried to the future for others to learn from it.

    • @2livenoob
      @2livenoob 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      JFK.

    • @pileofashes85
      @pileofashes85 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I think I've heard this quote in meditations by Marcus Aurelius

    • @BearfootBrad
      @BearfootBrad ปีที่แล้ว

      I thought this was jfk

  • @cliffhanley2120
    @cliffhanley2120 3 ปีที่แล้ว +733

    "I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened." Mark Twain.

    • @sarahhussam2759
      @sarahhussam2759 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      haha i love this

    • @tahitihawaiiblue
      @tahitihawaiiblue ปีที่แล้ว +1

      😂

    • @antoniao7439
      @antoniao7439 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Ooooo i finally get that quote

    • @williampittard
      @williampittard ปีที่แล้ว

      .

    • @ranc1977
      @ranc1977 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      He also said:
      Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from making bad decisions.
      Mark Twain
      In most cases the man's life is about equally divided between happiness and unhappiness. When this is not the case the unhappiness predominates-always.
      The Mysterious Stranger by Mark Twain
      Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
      MARK TWAIN, The Mysterious Stranger

  • @thechxshirecat
    @thechxshirecat 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7227

    "we suffer more in our imagination than in reality" this is so true tho

    • @fab211
      @fab211 6 ปีที่แล้ว +99

      MayainWonderland I saw something similar somewhere else,
      "99% of the things we worry about never actually happens"

    • @humbaleeyours
      @humbaleeyours 6 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      story of my life! lol

    • @vihangsupare95
      @vihangsupare95 6 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      Not making this up but I can relate to the quote so much that I literally cried after pausing the video.

    • @AlbertoGonzalez-uu9sb
      @AlbertoGonzalez-uu9sb 6 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      I know, I have always pictured worst case scenarios, thinking they would become reality and I started writing them three years ago. The other day, when I looked at them again, I saw that none of them were founded fears, none of them have become my reality. Still, I find it hard to manage anxiety; I do not have it figured out. In words of Jorge Luis Borges; " I worried more that I should have".

    • @ARichardP
      @ARichardP 6 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      So true.
      Our minds are stoked with fear, be it from biological, evolutionary, familial, religious, political or cultural sources. It's helpful to make the harder choice to work to "get behind" the mind so we can observe it doing this worrisome dance. And then not get involved in that never-ending conversation. The mind keeps making stuff up like an attention-hounding noise-spewing geyser. What a relief to just watch it and not be hooked into mistaking that display for who we are.

  • @2MuchSwag4Funzies
    @2MuchSwag4Funzies 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7184

    Watched this talk today and asked out a girl I've been crushing on for months cuz of this. Turns out she's been crushing on me too. powerful talk.

    • @oreo8373
      @oreo8373 6 ปีที่แล้ว +111

      ❤🔥

    • @2MuchSwag4Funzies
      @2MuchSwag4Funzies 6 ปีที่แล้ว +207

      NIKS POSITIVE people avoid being positive because they're scared of getting hurt. That's why the importance of Stoicism is huge in this talk. This girl is drop dead gorgeous btw, I never thought she'd even crush on a guy like me. Positivity goes a long way.

    • @stm12p
      @stm12p 6 ปีที่แล้ว +414

      i did the same thing today. Got rejected tho. I guess I gotta stay stoic.

    • @ImOutsideTheBox
      @ImOutsideTheBox 6 ปีที่แล้ว +75

      Well done man! Now you'll discover the REAL hard part which is building a relationship haha, but that's OK because it means your learning and you'll have a great time

    • @2MuchSwag4Funzies
      @2MuchSwag4Funzies 6 ปีที่แล้ว +170

      stm12p hey man but at least now you know, rather than regretting you never tried. And who knows, maybe she'll see you differently in the future, I've seen it happen. Rejection isn't really the end

  • @HarveyBirdMans
    @HarveyBirdMans 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1577

    "The only time a man can be brave is when he's afraid" -Ned Stark

    • @MrCmon113
      @MrCmon113 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      When you need to rely on the bravery of others you don't mean that you want there to be some inner struggle, you want them to stand fast. Whether that is because they overcome their fear or because they had none to begin with is irrelevant.

    • @wiseauserious8750
      @wiseauserious8750 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Great quote 👍 it's important not to lose your head over the fear of life's challenges

    • @Ray2311us
      @Ray2311us 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      marvin harvey FACTS

    • @SquidCena
      @SquidCena 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @Laughing Out Loud No one said anyone was more brave than anyone?

  • @moritzschroder
    @moritzschroder 6 ปีที่แล้ว +943

    almost 3 years ago i sat in the car, driving to an interview for a job i didnt want, in a profession i didnt care about. during that drive i listened to the tim ferriss show and it was so insipring that when i eventually arrived at the interview, i had already decided that i wouldnt take the job. instead i moved to stockholm, recently started my own personal development company, grow my youtube channel and am happier than i ever would have been otherwise. thank you, tim!

    • @SaharaKnoblauch
      @SaharaKnoblauch 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      good for you! 🔥🙌

    • @englishjosh
      @englishjosh 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I feel as though I'm in a similar boat. It would be good to discuss more with you dude

    • @DanielsPengetips
      @DanielsPengetips 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Good for you!

    • @hantzleyaudate7697
      @hantzleyaudate7697 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Wolkify hey, would you need any help with building software for your people? I develop apps and websites, have you thought of online courses?

    • @m4ri5a8
      @m4ri5a8 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Congratulations

  • @Musashi246
    @Musashi246 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2644

    What if I...?
    Define:
    All of the 10-20 worst things that
    could happen if you take the step.
    Prevent:
    What could I do to prevent each of
    these points to happen or decrease the likelyhood?
    Repair:
    If the worst case scenario happen what
    could you do to repair the damage (even a little bit) or who could I
    ask for help.
    _________________________
    What might be the benifits of an
    attempt or a partial success? (Higher discipline, skills...)
    -________________________
    The cost of inaction: (Emotionally,
    physically, financially, etc.)
    6 Months:
    1 Years:
    3 Years:

  • @Breathewithbrock
    @Breathewithbrock 6 ปีที่แล้ว +666

    What I love about Tim is his complete LACK of ego. We often think business mogels/athletes/actors are these bulletproof individuals that have no problems, but they are struggling with things just like us. That's encouraging to me.

    • @realemmareid
      @realemmareid 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I love that too

    • @teno777
      @teno777 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      Everyone has an ego, it’s just some people have learnt how to temper it.

    • @exploitedfight8081
      @exploitedfight8081 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Oh he definitely has an ego. You can see it in his facial expressions. But he's very calculating at what he's showing/saying

    • @SmallSpoonBrigade
      @SmallSpoonBrigade 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@exploitedfight8081 keep in mind that he's known for pushing his responsibilities onto others while reaping the reward.

    • @RajendraSingh-wh4pn
      @RajendraSingh-wh4pn 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Before achieving success everyone struggles atleast once!

  • @singlachirag12
    @singlachirag12 6 ปีที่แล้ว +345

    Two things this talk taught me:
    "Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices easy life"
    "We suffer more in imagination than in reality"

    • @Gapetz
      @Gapetz 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Did you only took the quotes out?

    • @anatoligorianski3395
      @anatoligorianski3395 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Lazy

    • @ranc1977
      @ranc1977 ปีที่แล้ว

      What happens when suffering becomes reality?

    • @Learned333
      @Learned333 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Is not the continued exercise of "fear setting" going to be the real teacher, and not some quotes? Quotes led Tim Ferris like a bread crumb trail to real solutions.

  • @50interviews
    @50interviews 6 ปีที่แล้ว +223

    At 3 mins into his talk, Tim defines stoicism as "an operating system for thriving in high-stress environments and making better decisions." Brilliant!

    • @Plasmafox
      @Plasmafox ปีที่แล้ว

      Stoicism is how an Emperor justifies slavery by declaring that the slaves can simply choose to be happy.

    • @ranc1977
      @ranc1977 ปีที่แล้ว

      That is definition of mental health.
      Stoicism is being trapped into crap fitting to abuse and toxicity and pretending you are covered with rose petals.

  • @TasTheWatcher
    @TasTheWatcher 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1532

    "I must not fear.
    Fear is the mind-killer.
    Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
    I will face my fear.
    I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
    And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
    Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain"

    • @janvanhof1469
      @janvanhof1469 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Let's give everyone a heart-plug :)

    • @Fred0014Channel
      @Fred0014Channel 6 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      David McGhee The Dune

    • @gabogalaiz
      @gabogalaiz 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      David McGhee god dammit that's harsh

    • @hanswoast7
      @hanswoast7 6 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      Thanks for this quote, dude. It's a nice one :)
      Source:
      “I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that
      brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to
      pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the
      inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be
      nothing. Only I will remain.”

      Frank Herbert,
      Dune(#1)

    • @KrittinKalra
      @KrittinKalra 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      David McGhee Thanks for the quote

  • @mrbarkan
    @mrbarkan 6 ปีที่แล้ว +324

    Going to watch this everyday until it sticks to my brains. Thank you Tim.

    • @BeFreeHugATree
      @BeFreeHugATree 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Did it ever stick?

    • @Praying_ManTas
      @Praying_ManTas 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@BeFreeHugATree Actually it got stuck in his brain, causing it to clot. This lead to death.

    • @realemmareid
      @realemmareid 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      still watching?

    • @yashbhatla4329
      @yashbhatla4329 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      The message that he wanted to convey is clear, instead of watching this on everyday use the table and transcend your fears.

    • @kasraahmadi8885
      @kasraahmadi8885 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      good idea! It´s been 3 years since you commented this. I hope u still do this, when not, u can start again

  • @deanbrown1591
    @deanbrown1591 3 ปีที่แล้ว +168

    "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

    • @nayad1129
      @nayad1129 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Thanks! some people like me around here needs to remind this from time to time..

    • @maychellelabitoria1390
      @maychellelabitoria1390 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Matthew 6:34

    • @ranc1977
      @ranc1977 ปีที่แล้ว

      This is the same as to say to depressive person not to be sad. And to smile.
      Worry is much more complex than this.
      If we do not use our brain, we will be zombies. Overthinking is not pathology.
      When we worry there is real true external factor such as toxic people who manipulate and control us - for the very reason we do not think nor doubt them.

  • @xxkarenp
    @xxkarenp 5 ปีที่แล้ว +97

    Last time I watched this video I was contemplating and planning to move out of state. Now It has been a little over a year since I moved. Better things came after I moved past the initial fear. Thank you.

    • @daniel4647
      @daniel4647 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I think what you said here is more inspiring than the talk. I always try to move away, but after about 3 months I lose my mind and go back to where I'm from, where it's nice and safe. I'm thinking that if I just stuck it out past that it would probably get better. I think I'm going to try again, thanks.

    • @chocopieces9529
      @chocopieces9529 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      it's been 3 years for me, still here. I'm doing steps to make that move though, thanks to stoicism.

    • @AliceP.
      @AliceP. 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      So good to read this, it's exactly the fear I'm struggling to overcome.

    • @abudabisas
      @abudabisas 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      wow im from town called palanga, hahha

    • @ranc1977
      @ranc1977 ปีที่แล้ว

      Almost every mental disorder originates in childhood experience and originates as coping mechanism. When you are threatened with something, you would not be anxious, you would be afraid - as you should be.
      YT Dr. Gabor Mate

  • @redporkpadthai6368
    @redporkpadthai6368 6 ปีที่แล้ว +145

    This is way more helpful for me than goal setting. Depressive episodes have impeded my goals on numerous occasions and being able to tackle them from a different from the place of fear that they create is so much more helpful.

    • @lintang790
      @lintang790 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      True for me too

    • @HarmonicWave
      @HarmonicWave 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      That's exactly why the title drew me to watching this. I have all kinds of goals, even specific ones with time frames. But then I don't take action because I don't feel like I know how to do the next step and worry that I may get part way through a process and then have something go wrong, especially when other people (clients) are making big decisions. What if they change their mind and I get myself stuck in a complicated situation? So I don't do anything and the months go by and my goals keep getting pushed off into the nebulous future.

  • @Ryanspashai
    @Ryanspashai 6 ปีที่แล้ว +335

    The title caught my eye, interesting because I thought this was a bit pessimistic, I was totally wrong.

    • @therabbithat
      @therabbithat 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      ShowerThoughts positive thinking is the most harmful and damaging disease around at the moment, arguably the number one killer in western countries. don't think of a white bear

    • @EvanNDoan-ry8vf
      @EvanNDoan-ry8vf 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      +therabbithat omgosh.
      thank u . I feel so much less alone..

    • @a.m.5973
      @a.m.5973 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, that is what he figured out on his own. This ted talk is basically how CBT worked for him. Check it out. It helps others with ptsd and panic disorders.

    • @mansourkibarabara464
      @mansourkibarabara464 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hola

  • @TrNdke
    @TrNdke 5 ปีที่แล้ว +68

    Buddhism had been the best practice I've done. Similar concepts in Stoicism, but the point is that everyone needs and operating system and a way to update their internal "software". That's the only way you stop being blown around by the winds of change and start learning to ride the waves and set your own course.

    • @Suckyea
      @Suckyea 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      this last sentence man, is it your own or? because thats just a brilliant metaphor.

    • @dayelu6028
      @dayelu6028 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Buddhism gives you a way out of the matrix, a kind of ultimate way to existence. Stoicism still deals how to have a good life inside the matrix.

    • @EtherealBeauty89
      @EtherealBeauty89 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Daye Lu exactly. That's why I found the talk very creepy. It teaches you to function even more effectively. That is crazy.
      You deal with stress, but don't get rid of it.
      The guy even sounded like a robot to me. A lot of ego in there.

  • @pelosauve
    @pelosauve 6 ปีที่แล้ว +318

    My fears loose their power over me when I put them on paper and speak to another person about them.
    Every, time.

    • @Netbase2000
      @Netbase2000 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Mine don't

    • @rameshhansaravendra
      @rameshhansaravendra 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Nate Tube .
      100%

    • @a.m.5973
      @a.m.5973 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@Netbase2000 What he figured out and does is called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Read up on this. This is very powerful stuff that helps people with panic disorders and ptsd. This is more than just writing it on paper. What you do is a root cause analysis of this problem looking at fears, then rationalizing this bad approach like asking 'how successful was it for other people to avoid this action', the consequences if you can't change, the strategy to change like trying to do this differently (example: he talks about forwarding phone calls) - this is the part that you begin to get more rational about this, a positive reminder about this approach, a plan if you forget and get a little irrational again like how to get back on track, and reflection of this like thinking how you feel afterwards. You can add identifying the specific emotions behind your initial reaction and look really deep to figure out when you first started reacting this way. This will require a lot of focus for every action you evaluate - it might take more than 3 pages and it will take a few hours. It will require uninterrupted time - this is more than just writing on paper in passing or being distracted and focusing elsewhere. Do this right it will change your life. Check out the research on this.

    • @Clemsterful
      @Clemsterful 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      I concur. its effective with the person that earn the trust and all they have to do is listen.

  • @plantbasedandpositive5477
    @plantbasedandpositive5477 6 ปีที่แล้ว +69

    "I realised that inaction was no longer an option for me" - This is so relevant for me right now, I am grateful that I stumbled across this video today. Great talk, I'll be using that fear-setting exercise :)

    • @ranc1977
      @ranc1977 ปีที่แล้ว

      Inaction is Charcot Hysteria - it is not being lazy.
      Self pathologizing ourselves leads to personality disorder. Invalidating our emotions, experiences and pain leads to self abuse and narcissism - where we cover up our wounds, pretend they do not exist and then build up fake persona of grandiosity and perfection - that other people must obey and admire.
      In short - this is path to mental illness and schizophrenia.
      Very soon reality will hit - and the reason for inaction will appear again and again.
      Then we will be left with toxic advice to label ourselves as sick abnormal for feeling pain and harm - and we won't notice that toxic people, external factor - are the cause of our immobility and pain.
      This way toxic monsters like Putin and Trump stay in power - since zombies are preoccupied with self and narcissism and rigid mindset of scapegoating easy targets.

  • @Nmdresser
    @Nmdresser 6 ปีที่แล้ว +45

    Such a well-spoken, driven guy. Nothing is a better teacher than life and grinding through the struggle.

    • @ranc1977
      @ranc1977 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Nope.
      "The best teacher is the one who teaches you how to be your own teacher."
      Mehmet Murat İldan

  • @zspearl
    @zspearl ปีที่แล้ว +11

    I broke up with my partner of 9 years partially inspired by this talk-and I’ve never been happier.
    Generally a stoic practicer now

  • @user-lq1yu2dz5w
    @user-lq1yu2dz5w 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    after 2 years of growth non stop - i can say- this was the best tool i encountred on the internet. BY FAR , THANK YOU TIMOTHY

  • @boyandcatmum
    @boyandcatmum 6 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    I am so grateful these wonderful and courageous people so selflessly share their lives and how they overcame such personal and painful situations with everyone in the hope to reach someone out there. This was really helpful thanks Tim.

  • @1989maihan
    @1989maihan 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    His presentation was poetic! No pauses. It was fluid and engaging. I wish i could present like that one day.

    • @koushikmaji7998
      @koushikmaji7998 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Work on it, you will

    • @juliandsalazar
      @juliandsalazar 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@koushikmaji7998 You will

    • @ranc1977
      @ranc1977 ปีที่แล้ว

      Probably high on something.

    • @downbntout
      @downbntout 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Practice, as much as it takes. Public speaking is only a learn able skill.

  • @AliceP.
    @AliceP. 4 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    I've been unhappy with the place I live and the profession I chose for years now, ever since the beginning of college - and it's been two years I graduated. I'm still 25 so my mind keeps telling me that this is the time to change things and be brave, so once more I'm planning to move to another city and start from scratch, but I've had these times before and I always give up after some months of planning because it is so scary. My father is willing to help me with money and/or support and he doesn't pressure me that much yet 'cause I'm young but I'm afraid I'll grow old and find myself in the same position. Of all the steps he described that last one is undoubtedly the scariest.

    • @sravanthkumarchintalacheru1359
      @sravanthkumarchintalacheru1359 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      How's everything going now?

    • @muhammadisrarulhaq9052
      @muhammadisrarulhaq9052 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      More Power to you main. Remember its about the journey, not the destination. So don't get scared of thinking what will happen, instead enjoy the process of you building yourself, only that matters man. Because as for results, we could be dead tomorrow

    • @AliceP.
      @AliceP. 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@sravanthkumarchintalacheru1359 I did move to another city, it's been a little over a year. It's all been messy and I'm yet to find my balance, but I definitely feel happier. I always think of how interesting it is that I finally took the step a little before the pandemic broke - I would have been feeling miserable if I were still in my hometown, unable to leave the house. Almost feels like someone saved me, cause I don't know what my head space would look like. The place where I live now has a dog and lots of green spaces. I smile at least once a day, drinking coffee whilst looking at the landscape or playing with the dog. I'm able to breathe. Thank you for asking!

  • @ms.shatinams.lin_beifong3687
    @ms.shatinams.lin_beifong3687 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I'm so glad that this video was in my search results on TH-cam on goal setting. The past two years have been very stressful for me and just last year, got even more overwhelming through a betrayal. I've been feeling so stuck in life that I really have no emotion to anything that should be exciting. I only feel "alive" when I'm rushing against time to get to work or study for school but even then my head is not in the game. After dinner with a family member this past April, I've decided to move out of state and somewhere where I can feel again.
    Right now, I'm creating my list of fears as Mr. Ferriss suggests and hopefully I will feel something while I tackle my list. I know some of my fears if not most will cause me to come out of my comfort zone/survival mode. And I do believe this to be coincidental because today is July 14, 2019, exactly two years from the publish date of this video. :)

  • @laukathy8464
    @laukathy8464 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    This talk gave me the push for a breakup at the beginning of 2018. I've grown a lot since then and know it was the right decision. Thanks Tim!

  • @andrewpride5230
    @andrewpride5230 6 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    I had no idea he had Bipolar Depression, have been listening to him for a long time. Powerful Tim, thank you.

  • @jwh0122
    @jwh0122 3 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    3 pages of fear-setting
    6:01 What if I ...?
    8:13 What might be the benefits of an attempt or partial success?
    8:38 The cost of inaction

    • @beldonhuang
      @beldonhuang 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thanks for noting this down!

    • @snowrabbit5860
      @snowrabbit5860 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Define, Prevent; Repair

  • @NEWGREATNESS
    @NEWGREATNESS 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This is by far and easily one of the best and my most favorite Ted talks. Thank you Tim Ferriss you have no idea how much I needed to hear this.

  • @BrilliantBusinesses
    @BrilliantBusinesses 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    This is my favourite Tim Ferris speech, I use 'We suffer more often in imagination than in reality' to help me make any kind of tricky decision - and 'Easy Choices - Hard Life. Hard Choices - Easy Life' is something I think about a LOT. Great work Tim!

  • @GaberInc
    @GaberInc 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Watching this before my first day back at university in five years (dropped out last time due to crippling depression). Thank you for the continual electronic mentorship and helpful exercise, Tim. Time to buckle up and get this done.

  • @mraz2685
    @mraz2685 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    this is one of the best tedtalks I've watched
    literally cuts to the chase that fears must be faced and when they are faced they won't keep you stuck anymore

  • @TaliShlafer
    @TaliShlafer 6 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    TH-cam's algorithm for suggested videos couldn't be more spot on for recommending this video to me. I've been working on huge life changes in the last few months and have hit a point in the last couple of weeks where I'm feeling totally paralyzed by fear. This talk is already helping me start addressing those fears and feel like myself again. Thank you, Tim.

    • @avinash369
      @avinash369 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Tali Travel may God give u more power. Amen

  • @pink1lipstic
    @pink1lipstic 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I love this Tim, he's so inspirational whenever I listen to him plus all of the advice and suggestions he offers are easily doable. You change people's lives Tim, that's amazing!

  • @zouhd7749
    @zouhd7749 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    most impressed by: hard choices, uncomfortable conversations are more often make easy life.

  • @Maria70007
    @Maria70007 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    This talk only works in a very limited context. There are so many people who suffer trauma from reality - people of color post-colonization, rape and sexual assault victims, grieving family members who have lost a loved one, the countless marginalized groups whom the “meritocracy-based” Western system fails more than they can comprehend. To ignore your emotions or act as if you are making a bigger deal of things than you actually are is to deny being true to your experience. Emotions are a reminder that you are alive, and while they should be managed if they cause your life to spiral out of control, I personally don’t resonate with the ideology that to endure hardship without complaint is to cure yourself of any mental ailments. I’m glad this talk has worked for some people, but for anyone who heard this and thought it invalidated their experiences, I am here for you ❤️

    • @HackTheBeat
      @HackTheBeat 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      thats not stoicism. please explain to me, how is it fear(emotion)-setting close to ignoring emotion? Its just the oposite.

    • @Maria70007
      @Maria70007 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@HackTheBeatit’s been awhile since I posted this, so I will do my best to respond to your question from what I remember. I’m not saying it is bad to identify your fears - I just have a problem with the speaker’s framework in doing so. he is not saying to identify your fears in order to work through them. He’s giving tips on how to disprove them or prevent/reduce their likelihood. However, plenty of people have fears that are rooted in reality rather than hypothetical scenarios, things that are out of their control, things they have experienced and still have not recovered from. There are different ways to process emotions, and the method this speaker is proposing cannot be used equally for all fears, because sometimes you have to sit in it. If you have been traumatized, if you more susceptible to exploitation in your life, or if you are in grief, you need to be able to validate and process your fears in order to move forward. Running away from your fears when they are embedded in you does not work

    • @HackTheBeat
      @HackTheBeat 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I agree with your viewpoint. Different problems, different solutions. I misunderstood your previous comment. Thank you @@Maria70007

    • @lisatomei9664
      @lisatomei9664 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@Maria70007 I can feel your pain through your words. Specifically, you seem to latch on to "grief" as something having been experienced by all marginalized society members--I think it's important to understand that grief is not an emotion, but a "state" and can only be gone 'through' - my reply is more to your saying how fears are rooted in reality and each one of us creates our perceived "reality" based on our experiences, and it's not to say you can just run from fears, but you can identify, become aware, and CHOOSE to be less fearful. More faithful.

  • @MandhanAcademy
    @MandhanAcademy 5 ปีที่แล้ว +92

    thanks God ! Highly effective Life changing Talk :) a lot of gratitude for Beloved Tim Ferriss :)

    • @redwarf8118
      @redwarf8118 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I Thank Tim not some imagined God.

    • @ethangunter9330
      @ethangunter9330 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@redwarf8118 Let people live their lives...

    • @redwarf8118
      @redwarf8118 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@ethangunter9330 don´t tell me what to do. I am just holding the mirror.

  • @hankigoe829
    @hankigoe829 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    1:25 "Many rounds in the ring with darkness", what a great line

  • @wolfferoni
    @wolfferoni 6 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    I needed this right now. Going through a depressive episode. Really unhappy with my life but I've spoken to therapists who never gave me this exercise to really push myself and see the damage that I'm doing to myself in the long run. Thank you

    • @ranc1977
      @ranc1977 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It is an ironic habit of human beings to run faster when they have lost their way.
      Rollo May

  • @lefaek3720
    @lefaek3720 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is one of if not the most amazing and effective talks I’ve ever listened to. Fellow ted talk addicts, listen to the talks with eyes closed and focusing on the words themselves instead of watching the video. I find it helps in understanding the message better. Even missing the visual media is okay.

  • @sarahthemango4829
    @sarahthemango4829 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    ~
    the moment when i realize that i did all of these fear setting techniques in middle school & thinking about all of this at my desk while doing homework changed my life forever~

  • @TheScienceCube
    @TheScienceCube 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    This is to my students - "Easy Choices, Hard Life! Hard Choices, Easy Life!" Jerzy Gregorek
    I really hope this TED Talk is seen by youngsters as they prepare for life ahead. Thanks Tim!

  • @eliana93fer
    @eliana93fer 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Amazing TED talk, the fact that he starts by sharing that we once was about to kill himself I think makes the following speech much more emphatic and meaningful. Thank you for sharing!

  • @KarenKefauver
    @KarenKefauver 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Tim, thank you. This talk is so important. To have someone of Tim's stature and influence talk candidly about his own struggle is incredible stride in national discussion of mental health.

  • @user-qh8jv7yf9j
    @user-qh8jv7yf9j 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Thank you Tim for one of the most impressive and mind-blowing speech I have ever heard. It has a tremendous impact on me. Thank you!

  • @ThePasindu
    @ThePasindu 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    The most impactful TED Talk I've watched

  • @SpringHWhipple
    @SpringHWhipple 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Ahhh,Tim. Been following you and reading your books for years. Thank you for this talk, Sir. I came upon it again at just the right time. Solid advice. Great things to think about when having to make those most difficult decisions. Cheers to your continued success!

  • @lorenzoantonio5589
    @lorenzoantonio5589 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Tim, if you ever read this, it's important for me to express what a brilliant speech you gave.

  • @denise2169
    @denise2169 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Great talk!
    have found that going THROUGH my fears (sadness, depression, etc) and coming out the other side, has helped me finally find growing inner peace. I learned that I would come out the other side, and even if I didn’t ‘succeed’ in my endeavours, I knew that I would be still be OK, and that any sadness or fear at that moment would release.
    Hard choices because society taught us to avoid them, but when you get used to it, it is empowering, positive and life-changing!

    • @beldonhuang
      @beldonhuang 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Nicely said! Glad that you overcame those negative feelings and became a better person than before!

  • @mochammadmarsha4238
    @mochammadmarsha4238 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    practical solution for procrastinators like me, or simply for those who might be too afraid of the downfall before they even try.
    excellent ted talk, one of my favorites

  • @CliffordStarks1
    @CliffordStarks1 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Well done Tim! You took your weaknesses and turned them into your strengths. Learning to handle your fears and understanding them is very empowering 👍

  • @ericaeng7270
    @ericaeng7270 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Super helpful - love that he gave clear worksheet / process to do. Who else has set goals before never to have made them or even re-visited them? I feel this process helps get to underlying reasons we will or won’t do certain goals or changed

  • @elled10024
    @elled10024 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Brave heart you have, Mr. Ferriss. So sweet. So good. Thank you for being you.

  • @adhd2372
    @adhd2372 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Very well said.
    Some points for those who want to take away some gold
    1. A stoic is not spock, not emotionally deprived
    2 The speaker idealizes a man who does nor allow fear to prevent or stall his decisions and action ;rather, he uses his principles and values to guide them
    3. Instead of avoiding fears and decisions that need to be addressed,DEFINING them, finding ways to PREVENT them and REPAIRING the worst case scenario that could come about, is an approach that could alleviate fears and give more clarity to the situation.
    3 Addressing the issue of inaction, avoiding something should be assessed on its long term outcome on one's life.for example, the speaker assesses the outcome at 6 months, 1 yr etc.

  • @thefilipinojoe
    @thefilipinojoe 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    Life hack.. Always follow your heart, do what is right, and trust everything will be okay. Be fearless and know that your level of fearlessness is evidence of your faith in a higher power and the promise that everything will be fine if you follow your heart and do what is right. The more I have done this, the more blessings I have received.

  • @septamush
    @septamush 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I love how Tim talked about the need to identify fears and even how to overcome it. You'd see that they are based on experience, even his books are also amazing! I’ve heard influencers and authors who does it too, even therapist that host podcasts like the Pioneers of Insight podcast, but not too many others.

  • @lolasue1907
    @lolasue1907 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    Hands down the best Ted talk I've heard. I intend to incorporate the fear-setting exercise into my life starting today.

  • @osmans1694
    @osmans1694 6 ปีที่แล้ว +278

    When u do TED talk instead of Tedx that means u have made it in life.

    • @skincareceo
      @skincareceo 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      O s #goals

    • @kerryobrien6110
      @kerryobrien6110 6 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      TEDx is like the Fun Run at a 10K.

    • @jamesgrahamclas5204
      @jamesgrahamclas5204 5 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Only way that guarantees you’ve made it through and in life is salvation and forgiveness of sins through Christ Jesus.

    • @paulomendes1193
      @paulomendes1193 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I hope you're joking

    • @jov__ana
      @jov__ana 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Paulo Mendes hahahh

  • @Katkiwi25
    @Katkiwi25 4 ปีที่แล้ว +501

    Unrelated to the talk, but he reminds me of handsome Squidward

    • @kupamanduka
      @kupamanduka 4 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      OH MY GOD NOW THAT YOU'D MENTIONED IT I CAN'T UNSEE IT ASDFGHJKL

    • @KoreyThatcher
      @KoreyThatcher 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      SO MUCH YES

    • @cuteflygon
      @cuteflygon 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      What an underrated comment...

    • @SquidCena
      @SquidCena 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Really?

    • @RahsaanBoone
      @RahsaanBoone 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      lol

  • @aashimbhasin9757
    @aashimbhasin9757 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    "We suffer more in our imagination than in reality".Probaby the best thing I've heard this year.Very comprehensive argument!

  • @wondergirl2561
    @wondergirl2561 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Tim Ferries is a legend of modern life. He is always on the point, no extra words. A true strategist.

  • @beverleyashton6807
    @beverleyashton6807 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Wow, Tim, you are truly AMAZING ..Thank You so much, for sharing this real philosophy and framework in 2019.

  • @NickyMondelliniActriz
    @NickyMondelliniActriz 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    “Easy choices,hard life.Hard choices,easy life”, this is so true! Hard choices are what bring the greatest results.

  • @zuby985
    @zuby985 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    love Tim Ferris; I have read 4-hour work week 3 times, plus others. with that…what he is doing here is focusing on the fear in order to overcome it. A more powerful method is to simply live in the moment, in the present, in the now. Why focus on the imagined future, which doesnt exist? the courage you get from facing an imagined outcome is also imagined. He is actually going against the quote…”we suffer more in our imagination than in reality””. if that is so…why disect the fear that is just our perceived catastrophic future? when you live in the present there is awareness and nothing to fear. we act out of true inner strength and are ok with any outcome. This is only if you want to live a happy life and succeed, not just externally, but internally.

  • @user-df3gf6wh1x
    @user-df3gf6wh1x ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I do not fear much in my life since I am still a teenager. But I think Tim teaches me to face the future fear without anxiety. I really appreciate his talk and learn a new thing today. Thanks to Tedx too.

  • @GlenHunt
    @GlenHunt 6 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Coming from someone who has been where I am now gives this weight with me. I've never liked trite messages of hope, especially while I am embroiled in an ongoing battle with my own chronic psychological illness. This, instead, has reiterated to my mind that my #1 fear is confronting my fears while I am largely unable to manage them. First dealing with my fear of my fears is recursive, but as long as I can keep it straight this is a tool and modality I can use.

    • @a.m.5973
      @a.m.5973 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which Tim figured out for himself and uses, is really powerful. It helps others with panic disorders and ptsd. There is a lot of research behind this.

  • @sarthakgupta072
    @sarthakgupta072 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    One of the best TED videos!! This is priceless.

  • @Unruled_7
    @Unruled_7 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    One of the best talks I’ve seen. I’ve started reading about stoicism and I wanted to see what this man had to say. Very impressive !

  • @janetnetia4224
    @janetnetia4224 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Amazing talk as always. I learn soooo much from Tim. He keeps finding better ways to accomplish purpose, happiness, health e.t.c.

  • @erickoontz6835
    @erickoontz6835 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Happy birthday to Tim Ferris this Thursday!
    Happy 40th!!

  • @GabiIaccovazzo
    @GabiIaccovazzo 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    "we suffer more in our imagination than in reality" what a phrase. Makes a lot of sense. It is so real.

  • @--AnonymousUser--
    @--AnonymousUser-- 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    The best 13+ minutes I spent in a long time!!!

  • @joclark-careercoach
    @joclark-careercoach 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    So inspiring and I've used this tool to face my fears! Thank you Tim Ferris, you're my hero!!!

  • @paulafox9482
    @paulafox9482 6 ปีที่แล้ว +111

    As a CEO with BPD, I am definitely going to implement this to avoid the peaks and crashes I seem to experience emotionally throughout my career. Great Talk. SHARED.

    • @oreo8373
      @oreo8373 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Paula Fox ❤🔥✌

    • @mmasteak
      @mmasteak 6 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Didn't have to mention 'as a CEO...'

    • @paulafox9482
      @paulafox9482 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Well since it was in reference to myself and it's what I do.. Then I guess I can mention what I like haha

    • @robertpirsig5011
      @robertpirsig5011 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I'm a CEO too with psychotic symptoms but thats normal for CEO's because we generally don't care for other people. LOL

    • @robinhellsten8903
      @robinhellsten8903 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Read some of Ryan Holidays books. Think you will like them, and they'll provide much value to you :)

  • @vinayseth1114
    @vinayseth1114 6 ปีที่แล้ว +914

    Who else just loves his head?!

    • @verifymyageful
      @verifymyageful 6 ปีที่แล้ว +80

      He gives the best head!

    • @vinayseth1114
      @vinayseth1114 6 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      +verifymyageful :/

    • @michaelarojas
      @michaelarojas 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      verifymyageful 😂😂

    • @shannonlilia
      @shannonlilia 6 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Fantastic head

    • @sheguftat4372
      @sheguftat4372 6 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      The inside or outside or both? ;)

  • @yuvrajm8364
    @yuvrajm8364 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    What a video!serious wisdom.going to rewatch it again.Thank you TIM

  • @greenambles
    @greenambles 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Tim, your podcasts my daily commuting companion and running partner for years. This as expected, unswervingly on point. Good job.

  • @kareelevy4670
    @kareelevy4670 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    This is exactly what I needed in my life at this particular moment, thank you.

  • @vidishasoni6585
    @vidishasoni6585 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Without any title references or relatability... this is the second time I'm hearing this thing Stoicism.
    The universe definitely want me to follow on that..👍👍

  • @ferramirez4570
    @ferramirez4570 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Every time I feel like I'm losing it I get back to this talk!. This video is one of the few things that keeps me going! even though sometimes I don't want to anymore.

  • @alexcollingwood-williams9852
    @alexcollingwood-williams9852 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Yeah, it has always helped me to actually crack down on what my fears actually are. It's definitely the first step needed to overcome it.

  • @mimib5913
    @mimib5913 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Cost of inaction. Wish I'd considered that 10 years ago. 20 years ago, when I was a kid. It really is worse.

  • @KasieMusic
    @KasieMusic 6 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    My favourite TEDS talk so far. So much wisdom in one video. Absolutely fantastic.

  • @benedetta8001
    @benedetta8001 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    "The hard choices we most fear doing, asking or saying these are very often exactly what we most need to do. " Thank you, it helps me a lot :)

  • @dwikarla
    @dwikarla ปีที่แล้ว

    Watching the video by today while Tim has been talking about fear-setting around five years ago, but this is so related to what I'm looking for. Thank You Tim

  • @ferramirez4570
    @ferramirez4570 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    One of the best Ted Talk i've ever watched!.

    • @ThePasindu
      @ThePasindu 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Agreed. Same here.

  • @rahul8346
    @rahul8346 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    ❤️ Summary ❤️: Write if you did decide to do something new, what will happen?
    Page1 - Fear Setting 🤔
    Define: list of bad things that can happen...
    Prevent: List of action that you can take to prevent the bad effect.
    Repair: Assume if worst case or the most feared thing did happen, what list of action can take to repair it.
    Page2: What you will gain? 🥳
    List all things that you may gain, example:
    New skill
    Thrill
    Experience
    Page3: Cost of Inaction 🧐
    In 6 months: what would be the impact on your physical, mental, financial health due to not going ahead with the decision in next 6 month time.
    In 1 year : same as above but for 1 year timespan
    In 3 year : same as above but for 3 year timespan
    All the Best 👍

  • @katekilgannon404
    @katekilgannon404 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    You are even better than people make you out to be. Thank you for your calm and measured explanations.

  • @Patrick-jz3ny
    @Patrick-jz3ny 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    That is awesome! I've experiences the method of writing down the "worst case" 5 years ago (even before i knowed Tim Ferris) and it was and is the ultimate helper against anxiety. I'd say, it rescued my life: Whatever happens, there is anytime a way out of it and even improve the situation. If things are going to end - they end and something new can be build. Life.

  • @johnnys3501
    @johnnys3501 6 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    Such a cliche, but I REALLY needed this wisdom right about now...

  • @rio0323
    @rio0323 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    12:27
    This quote really scared me and motivated me.

  • @3dgar7eandro
    @3dgar7eandro 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This is probably one of the most powerful and life changing videos I have seen... But it is no surprise it has only 3 million views... The rest of the world doesn't know how important it is to take action and to confront our fears 💪😌👌

  • @David-jb5dv
    @David-jb5dv 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    This is the best, most heart felt thing i have heard from you Tim and I watch and listen to you a lot. It the best because its so actionable, useful and practical. I like that you take from stoicism what is best , what works for you and then you put it into practice and reap the rewards.
    ps - its great that London played a part in your recovery. Its my adopted home town and i love it. I understand what you mean by the weather getting you down tough.

  • @rameshemv
    @rameshemv 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Something I was desperate to hear from someone and lo! TH-cam recommends me this video!!! This is the "kick in the pants" i needed. Thanks for sharing this!

  • @ravenonefiveninefour7689
    @ravenonefiveninefour7689 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This reminds me of when I was a teen. My parents were drug addicts and seasoned felons. I grew up telling myself often, "don't be like them". Worked.

  • @msontopoftheworld
    @msontopoftheworld 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thoroughly following his process could lead to over-thinking; which can then increase stress, which leads to depression! Sometimes just "do" and deal with the fallout as they come. I wish him and pp who suffer depression/suicide thoughts the very best. We're strong and can overcome. 🌺🌸🌹

  • @videogamesareforadults5710
    @videogamesareforadults5710 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    Absolutely beautiful talk. It asks to dynamically shift our perspective towards one where we expand upon the worst that could possibly happen and then construct a solution that shows a path towards what could lead to our success.