Hey folks - Dr. K’s Healthy Gamer Coaching is a cutting-edge program tailored for the unique mental health needs of the internet generation. It can help with issues like lack of motivation, excessive procrastination, missing life purpose, repairing/building relationships, and more! All Healthy Gamer Coaches are trained personally by Dr. K! You can learn more here: bit.ly/35WTV06
I read your webpages information and I don't understand how 2 weeks of learning from you and 8 weeks of group and personal coaching time makes them able to help people who need it. And how can they be certified to help people? They sound more like life coaches and even they aren't really trained to help people. So please explain to me, how any of them can really help people without real training.
@@Raffney Yeah I see people who haze tend to have been hazed badly. Some people pass on the pain since they try to find meaning in the pain they had to bear. They believe it is a twisted kind of relationship.
@@AdityaPrasad007 Yeah I agree. I do belive most people just try to pass on the pain to others. But there are a select, kind few who become even kinder with pain. And the rare one who becomes MCU's Thanos. :P
@@AdityaPrasad007 For me it's done both. Right around the 6 year when I was the most bullied I straight up turned violent at times, like the one time I took my airsoft gun when I had somebody over at my parents house and shot them 50 or so times. They were an adult but still. I also punched a few people. There were only a total of 5 such occurences in my childhood though, and I calmed down to a decent degree after the bullying slowe down. I still have a lot of irritation issues, and sometimes anger. It never results in violence or verbal abuse but I'm still a very angry/irritated person on the inside as a result of the bullying. I was basically taught as a child to not show any emotion and all my sadness and crying started turning into anger and hatred instead. I'd say that now I'm the type of person who hasn't/won't hurt people, but would still hurt "bad" people without much consideration. For example if someone tries to bully me in an adult workplace it will most likely end badly for one of us and that's not cause I want it to, but simply how my brain functions after all those years.
Dr. K the entire talk: You need to learn how to self indulge, you don't need to give other people everything you earn. Anita: *Donates $1,000 immediately after leaving*
@@CurtisGabrielMusic yes but he is saying she doesn't need to help someone that helped her YES its nice but it could be in her brain (I gotta repay him He just helped me I owe him for kindness) Or something simular (I belive)
1:31:33 "I want you to entertain the idea that sometimes you are the rabbit, that you don't have to give anything in return, and that people will just appreciate you for being you." The best advice of this whole session
It's really easy looking at someone else, and saying " yes, of course people would appreciate you for being you", but at the same time it is insanely difficult to say that to oneself.
I've heard of Anita from stream highlights, but this video made me a new fan for sure. She's very well-spoken and seems to think about human interaction a lot. Super interesting.
Man Cody me too!! I feel like I relate so much I have found that I have a complex of putting others above myself because my mom was also quite sick as a kid and that became an identifying part of myself! I love Dr. K! Now I really like Anita as well!!
I agree, Anita is definitely funny but also quite eloquent and insightful, which makes her all the more entertaining to listen to. Generally a very wholesome streamer, which is something twitch can definitely use.
At almost 30 I'm finally getting help I desperately needed since a child. Dont be scared. this is for you. We gotta be ok for ourselves before we can be ok for others. Much love and peace from me to you and yours. Dont give up!
Wow. I am less than 20 minutes in and I'm so stunned. I knew Corpse was talking about how inspirational Sweet Anita is... but I didn't realise it was to this degree. Genuinely, she seems like one of the most kind-hearted, empathetic, understanding and also intelligent people I've seen. Wow.. Such a wholesome person despite what she's been through.
@@RalphDratman Isn't that a pretty normal British accent? Or does she have a very particular British accent? I would assume somewhere in the South. She doesn't sound like she is from the North at least.
UTubeCorruptAntiFreeSpeechLiberalCo seems you are projecting, because judging by your emotional and mean reaction the only one who “isn’t very well put together” and “has a long way to go” is evidently you
I remember running across the main road straight through traffic to out run three kids from school, I ran into a video shop and squatted down behind an isle. The store owner asked me if I was ok and I was so scared, I had him call my Mum to get my cousin to pick me up. Acquaintances of those same kids threatened my brother with a knife for a freddo frog (10pence at the time) and when my brother went to the police, they told my Mother and him to forget about it as bringing any light to this situation would more than likely put our family at risk of retaliation and violence. Good ol 2006 Glasgow, fucking shit place, glad I moved to Australia. Don't know why I'm telling you this, who knows. The world is fucked up.
She is unbelievable, such a sweet, bright person and I'd never have thought she'd dealt with such problems in life. Honestly it's amazing how someone can be so positive given such a negative early experience.
I think the fact that he cusses with her helps her make her feel more comfortable. My psychiatrist used to cuss all the time and it made things funnier since he was being so raw so it was easier to talk about the hard stuff since he was letting loose himself.
Seems like he kinda adapts his language a bit according to who he's talking to. In his interview with Michael Reeves, who cusses a lot, K cussed a lot eventually as well. In the one with 5up, who cusses quite rarely compared to Michael and Anita, there was a lot less from K as well. Might just be natural to mirror some nuances of how the other person is talking, especially for those in his profession, but it's probably a good technique
@@Cake3k it's what most therapists are trained to do, funnily enough. Copy what they see displayed. Be it body language or speech-wise. Because it makes you feel more connected and comfortable. It isn't just Dr K who does this. A bunch of therapists who have an online presence have talked about this. Even if they don't swear much in person if they have a client who does... They will in those sessions. Or if they do swear a lot IRL but their client doesn't they will be careful not to swear. It's probably why many people think therapists are manipulative. Because... They kinda are. But in ways that are helpful. Not harmful. For the most part. There are terrible therapists out there who hurt people, of course. There's no denying that exists... But the majority don't want to hurt ppl. Probably.
Not cussing, but this reminds me of the time my past therapist and I were talking about the holiday months and by the end of the session she'd printed me off her favorite casserole recipe after I'd mentioned my favorite of my grandma's that she made every year lol
When I watch Dr. K say some super smart shit it's like watching someone pop off in a game. I literally have the same reaction. like "YOOOO LETS GOOOOO DR K JUST POPPED TF OFF WITH SOME EMOTIONAL ENCOURAGEMENT LETS GOOO"
I want to thank Anita from the bottom of my heart, I was also homeless, as well as sexually abused and emotionally abused all between the ages of 1-6 years old, and because we were homeless I didn't go to school either and was also completely alone in my chilldhood, hearing Anita being so sweet and genuine and motivated despite going through all this really inspired me. I'm trying to get a therapist at the moment but with not much money, and long waiting lists for free therapy, it's hard, but hearing Anita's story has inspired me to not give up as I have wanted to many times in the past.
Yes she had a lot of rationalizations which felt like defense mechanisms to me (tho I could be wrong). I hope the conversations strikes a chord in her to pursue this unit of self-work that Dr K uncovered. As he said, she's 90% there, but the last 10% is a weirdly toxic positivity.
@sbowesuk the important thing is that it's not a façade, it's very much both of them attacking and analysing the unhealthy coping mechanisms from both sides.
@@andrewrollout1657 They're absolutely defense mechanisms. She doesn't have a PHD like Dr. K so she's just talking in circles to avoid talking about herself.
Anita usually has complete control of her circumstances when she's on her own stream, so it was fascinating to see her pushed and challenged a bit. Very humanizing and interesting to listen to.
I really wish Dr K knew about her recent stalker, and the way she describes him on stream. That she's not concerned, she's fairly sure he wouldn't try anything. It's the same analogy, she wants to see the best in people, and she probably thinks she's done something to encourage this stalker, and that's why it was so difficult for her to press charges. I think all of these things are tied to the same issue.
@@maxono1465 I think that more than anything she just wants to appease the guy because of how scared she is. If she were to call him a horrible person then he might just try to murder her, so she doesn't want to risk that.
"One of the most important things you can teach children is how to appreciate who they are and how to derive enjoyment from life. How are you going to teach them that unless you know how to appreciate life?" Absolutely beautiful and profound. Dr. K. is truly a gem and deserves all the praise for what he does.
How true. I completely empathise with her. You go through life making excuses for people in an effort to avoid recognising inapropriate outcomes by justifying ...oh, it was not intentional...oh, it was an error....oh, unhappy childhood must be the cause...oh, a clumsy moment...oh, not evil just stupid....oh, the result of bad company...oh, didn't really mean it....oh, just thoughtless....oh, selfish....oh, didn't think....oh, another contrarian...oh, doesn't make sense....oh, just greedy + impatient...oh, disappointing..oh, secretly malicious or envious...oh, why the hell ? And this is like a stream of goodwill like a long rope being pulled out of you through your belly button...until one day...one morning...you tumble out of bed and it hits you....and then you suddenly change because you are forced to. The next step is to recognise and to categorise between an intimate reliable friend or close relative, a friend, friendly, indifference, adversary, enemy, and not to blunder by misplacing trust. Then everyone you know you can identify and categorise broadly into one of these categories and the propensity for tolerance, patience, trust, effort, is slotted into its proper place.
This whole interview was very emotional, but 1:33:05 where Dr. K says, "You're worth it" and Anita is like "... thank you" really made me tear up. I didn't know much about her going into this but I really hope she finds her way and is able to love herself.
I loved it too but also remember that sometimes saying "thank you" is a deflection. Like moving away from guilt or whatever and redirecting it into thankfulness without addressing the prob
@@japzy6014 Obviously she doesn ’t? Do you know her? Or do you just assume all attractive women are full of themselves and love themselves? I assume the latter and that misogony and bitterness probably stems from your own insecurities and lack of self love. Hope you find it bro
@@sannasvenhard4721 obviously she does? She doesn't care what people think of her? She has tourettes and goes out of her comfort zone? Hope the misandrist in you realize that not anything is about looks.
@@japzy6014 Having tourettes and streaming doesn’t automatically mean you love yourself. She has said several things which STRONGLY points to that she doesn’t love herself like that she feels guilt and shame whenever she does something for herself instead of for someone else. I know not everything is about looks but it is the only reason I can see for why you would say she loves herself despite everything she said.
@@Manas-jj6xf a lot of people, and families that I've observed, they aren't so overtly used to with hugging etc. Shake hand ... may be, Namaskar ... yes, touching feet(asking for blessings) ... yes. But hugging is not that common.
"The world is going to take as much as you have to give, and it will let you chew yourself out in the process, and it won't give two shits when you burn out and when you're exhausted. The thousands of people out there who benefit from your sacrifices will appreciate it, and no one will be left to care for you." - Dr. Alok Kanojia Just incredible wisdom from every stream.
Isn't this pretty much the same as having kids 🤔 or at least that's what my married friends tell me. They take and leave you exhausted with very little personal benefits. If your going to die someday anyways why not just live for yourself and take.
@@MatthewHartsuch Pay attention to the kind of people saying this, you'll notice that most of them suffered in their childhood. In my experience as a father, children start to give back very early - it starts with the first smile already. My kids have stabilized my life and I'm grateful everyday to have them. If you don't completely mess up parenting, you get back tenfold and your kids should return to you (once in a while) and have a pristine relationship with you as quasi-peers.
i know it breaks my heart that she was beaten till she was unconscious and stones were throne at her all because she has something that she cant control.
I was just watching and I had to pause for a bit after 30 mins as a huge fire burnt in my heart. Why does hearing someone's life story bring me so much sorrow? I'm not a very emotional person but recently i've been getting more and more emotional at these things.
Great talk, I enjoyed this. I would love to add one thing on the point of "best that you could do parenting" vs "good parenting". Is there a solid blueprint for great parenting is? What do we consider a successful parenting job? I cant speak for Anita despite the fact that i really do think she came out of her childhood superbly. Having had a similar upbringing, I am grateful for the "best that you can do parenting" because it taught me so many lessons about how try to be the best human possible despite having odds stacked against you. I dont think id be half the man I am today without that though I could be wrong, it is something i really believe. Maybe those of us who grow up in "best that you can do parenting" households still became decent people IN SPITE of the setbacks, but I think I want to believe that we became what we are due in large part to those struggles. Too much comfort stunts a childs growth, too much can be adverse so I suppose a middle ground is always best but id rather be on the side of too much adversity than not enough. Anyways thank you for sharing this, it gave me a lot to reflect on.
I think doing a good job is giving you the tools needed to succeed without too much adversity. Like a good job for a parent is giving you the tools and the emotional support as a person I guess maybe?
Well, the "best you could do" parenting is usually described as such by the child living in that kind of household. It's because of the cognitive dissonance one experiences through loving their parent, but also simultaneously, resenting them for doing an inadequate job. The person tries to gloss over their resentment by projecting a dubiously positive image of their parents or upbringing. So there is really no objective blueprint for good/adequate parenting. It's just whatever parenting that makes that specific child feel secure. You'd never; however, hear a child of 'good' parents say that their parents "did the best that they could".
I think the near final part of healing from such a childhood is understanding that exact thing. People are flawed, nobody can be perfect and were all gonna make mistakes. Theres no exact formula for parenting any child, as theyre all different. Maybe it wasnt good parenting, but they tried to do the best they could by/for you. Thats how you can come to understand the parent and forgive them, just as was relayed in this talk.
i just love seeing how cool it is that her ticks just slowly stop happening often as the conversation gets more deep causing her to think more deeper to answer. Its just so amazing!!
I tell people I’m bad at the start. If they stay, I proof that I lied. Why? Because only a good person will give a bad person a chance so I get rid of bad persons right from the beginning.🤯😉 Life is a game. Don’t be a player. Be a hacker.
When he asked about having kids and I heard her start to answer, I knew immediately he was going to go in on Anita. This is such an amazing session, I will definitely be watching again!
Timestamps, but IMO this one you kinda have to watch it all as it builds on top of each other: 00:00 introductions 6:31 Growing up 19:20 What did the parents model for you? 29:20 Indian gender norm culture, being helped by people 43:00 "What do you think about your mom"-forgiveness 1:01:20 Judgement for self-love 1:05:50 therapist bias 1:11:30 having kids, adoption, options 1:22:34 SL syndrome, love, the transience of life 1:30:30 twitch is teaching how to love yourself 1:35:15 Meditation 1:48:52 Closing thoughts, Coaching program, watch Dr. K raid someone
There is a part at the 1:11:30 mark I think you caught when anita said it, but in your reply you didn’t address; “the answer to the worlds problems isn’t another DNA copy of me” I guess it’s already established that she has a hard time loving herself so maybe you didn’t need to address it but it stood out for me at that point.
@@leafface5890 i have the same feeling, not because i dont love myself. Just philosophically. I'm a antinatalist. We dont need more people in the world. Lets help the ones that are already here.
@@albertthorval4674 nah, don't worry. I'm just a nihilist/absurdist. I don't really hate anything. I just think the world is full of suffering and that we have a overpopulation problem. Check out David Benatar, he is a philosopher who argues/advocate for antinatalism. Even if you won't agree with him, he has pretty logical reasons for being against giving birth. I've come to this conclusion by philosophical reasoning. Not by any personal reason. To be clear, i'm an antinatalist for all of humankind, not just my own offspring. The basic argument goes: (1) the presence of pain is bad; (2) the presence of pleasure is good; (3) the absence of pain is good, even if that good is not enjoyed by anyone; (4) the absence of pleasure is not bad unless there is somebody for whom this absence is a deprivation Conclusion: Not giving birth assure that no suffering will happen to a new being, which is good. But those points might not be crystal clear unless you delve more into his reasoning behind every point.
Holy shit, the part about having to acknowledge the shortcomings of your parents in order to forgive them was so insightful, it felt like something physically clicked in my head haha. Food for thought.
Jesus this helped me so much. Thank you to both of you so much. And it explains why at the beginning, I immediately felt repelled by her. I saw the false things in her carefully constructed personality. The things in MYSELF I'm struggling to fix. "We reject in others that which we reject in ourselves." It was like I saw her serving herself up like a piece of meat. Something I still struggle with. Ive also struggled being in multiple abusive relationships. And, I had a huuuge breakthrough about my relationship wirh myself going back to how I feel about my mother. Dr. K, you are doing amazing things. Thanks to Anita for being brave about sharing so much personal information and for all you both do.
Maaaaan.. I resonate with this woman sooo much! I've struggled with so many of these same situations in my life, with having Tourette's myself. Thank you for this Anita 💙 i needed to hear this 🙏
I am a new fan of Anita but at 55:00 the talk actually became very real for me coz I realized that I have not really truly forgiven my mom or dad for the way I've become, I just stopped blaming them and being full of empathy, Thanks to this actually helped me a lot too.
This helped me more than any two-hours of my life ever did. I feel the good kind of anger and relief, that I ever so rarely allowed myself.I needed it. Much love to all of you!!
Anita's mom does sound like an amazing person. A disabled teen mom who is an artist, a scientist and a photographer? We would probably love her if we met her. But I agree that she might not have provided the best environment for her to grow up in. With intent or not.
Yes. The environment that Anita grew up in was abnormal, regardless of why it happened, regardless of whether anyone could have prevented it or not. It was not the environment that a child *should* grow up in.
@@hughmungus431 Transgender children don't commit suicide because they get medical treatment, they do it because they aren't accepted and allowed to transition. If you care about trans lives, you need to start at your own prejudice and not by attacking people online.
@@JuMixBooxthere is no statistical decrease in suicide from trans children whether they get a medical transition or not. The rate is high either way. It's not as black and white as you're making it seem
This was a really powerful episode. I ended up looking at a relationship in my life and blaming them for the first time ever as I always put it in myself. Journaled it all. And to my surprise it actually helped and was like a weight was lifted from my heart. Least part of it. Boosh!
I love these interviews so much. The moments where you can not only see and hear but FEEL something click, for either Dr. K or the person being interviewed, are awesome. You're doing awesome work here. And thanks for sharing with us, Anita. This was a really valuable conversation.
This is the first time I'm watching one of Dr. K's videos, and wow that man is good at his job. I wish my therapists and psychiatrists could have conversations like that with me. I just learnt more from a fucking youtube video than I've had from 2 years of therapy.
I'm just struggling to understand how such a positive force exists in this man. I have a similar view of trying to shine light into the world, but he's also extremely competent at actually helping people. "If only I could be so grossly incandescent."
I can relate with her so much. She's actually so well spoken, and used her unfortunate situations in her upbringing to grow rather than repeat the cycle. Great job as usual Dr. K. This was super inspiring.
I get so fascinated when young people are so reflected and introspective. I guess it get forced upon you when you get introduced with great challenges in life. I've pretty much binge-watched Dr.K since it was recommended on my youtube channel, and I'm so happy there is platforms like this for people in need, and a huge factor in destigmatize mental health in today's society. I'm almost 40, and I'm really kicking myself for not focusing more on mental health when I was younger and struggling with AD(H)D.
"Entertain the idea that people can see value in you without you giving anything to them, that you have intrinsic value. That by virtue of who you are, you have worth." This man is making me cry ;_;
This is definetely my favorite VOD so far. Anita is an amazing soul and I am so happy for her that she is beeing embraced by such a huge amount of people, considering all the terrible things that happened to her in the past. Many people hurt her so much but she was never fully broken, she recovered and came back stronger than before, and this is a quality, or rather capability that I admire in her so much! I sincerely wish her the best!
I love the person she is deep down, she's amazing, I didn't know she was such a strong woman. So selfless, and compassionate, it's inspiring really, the way she lives day by day.
I'm stunned by the quality of this interview, this is how these discussions should be. And I really appreciate just how will Dr. K handles his words, Anita says "awkwardness causes a lot of ticks," and you have Dr. K always asking "Can I take a moment? Can I process this/think about that?" Making sure the silence is announced or requested so it never makes her feel uncomfortable or makes her worry about what she just said.
This is absolutely incredible. I have been MIND BLOWN there hasn't been a focused group of therapists regarding video games, gamers and just the general online community. Theres a massive group of people that this can help as well as it helps me. I've wanted to help with something like this for so long but felt as if the current world of therapy and psychiatry wouldn't allow for it to be done the way I'd like. Yet here Dr. K is doing just that. Absolutely incredible. This video especially resonated with me as Anita has a lot of similarities to the struggles I've had. Her thoughts were also extremely helpful and interesting. Especially the question of asking why he came to twitch and him trying to help as many people as he can. In a way he is doing exactly the selfless thing he advises against at least it appears so but clearly he knows how to prioritize his own life as well. Finding that healthy balance of relieving suffering and helping as well as keeping yourself intact in the process is truly a masterful and incredible art.
Being in “the field” this is one of the most amazing things I have seen in TH-cam. I do watch Anita and am familiar with her “stuff”. This…was so well done and more instructive than you may think. Thanks for this!
What an awesome conversation. The topics resonated with me so much. Sacrificing myself for the sake of others and forgetting how to care for myself is what I've been struggling with for years. These principles might help me as well. Thanks!
I found this talk interesting. Growing up in the UK I was bullied badly (physically and mentally) for being dyslexic. I like to think I came out of it still a good person but I cannot deny I still have my flaws. I learned a lot listening to this. Thank you Dr.K and Anita.
I legitimately had a super similar conversation with one of my closest friends about this topic tonight. She is amazing but puts EVERYTHING ahead of her to a fault. She came to me breaking down and this is what we kind of came to conclude. Also about a week ago I found your channel and you have really helped myself with internal battles and life long struggles I've had. Thank you for all that you do.
Wow. So, I’m watching this interview for a second time, after watching this one, and then the second and third ones. It was eye-opening the first time, and re-watching it after seeing Anita’s evolution is a whole new experience. It’s strange, I thought I had watched the whole thing the first time, but I’m just now seeing the chocolate part for the first time. I have just enough experience being guided through somatic processing that I can see and feel what’s happening. It’s so engaging, and it’s so helpful. It’s so heartening.
This was a really amazing episode, Anita has a great way of talking and it's amazing to see how much she knows about herself and the world around her, I really hope she comes on again eventually, this was easily one of my favorite streams I've seen so far.
Such an exceptional conversation. It's always such a joy (and can be a challenge too) when people are so insightful. It's really stimulating and interesting. Defense mechanisms are also super rife with insightful people--that's why therapists treating therapists (or just very experienced clients) can be challenging. Dr. K does such a good job navigating that here, reaffirming her when he uses confrontation, rephrasing his questions in a way that allow for challenging reflection but in a way that is strengths focused and affirming... and I'm only 30min in to the video right now (on my other work profile--sorry for the YT metrics guys). I haven't been to the channel for longer than I like to admit, but Dr K's work is so good. I really appreciate the online celebs who are willing to take the risk of allowing these streams to go public. They are already in the public eye and vulnerable to some of the worst toxicity in our culture because of their mode of work. I would suspect they are exposed to some unique risks others may not be exposed to--but I suppose they also have more knowledge and skills to navigate that too. Dr K does such a brilliant job of mitigating those risks and portraying his clients in such a positive light. I'm genuinely impressed. Sometimes in sessions we take calculated risks (always in the clients best interest, of course). To have to do that with the whole world watching--and trolling? Now that's serious Cajones. And then to do the work with such tenderness, presence, compassion, and sincerity. This is honestly so refreshing to see, and it inspires me to continue to challenge myself to hone my craft further. Thank You Dr K. And Thank you Sweet Anita for this stream.
Adding a comment to support this video. Anita is so inspirational, loving, and I've learned a lot from this genuine, very mature and highly intelligent interaction of 2 great souls.
I believe Anita intellectualizes her way out of experiencing emotions or confronting them during uncomfortable moments. Which would make a lot of sense, what choice does a child who is completely alone have? She's home and wants to learn. Perhaps she spent a lot of time reflecting and thinking. Possibly reading a lot as well. She's giving wonderful answers but typically framed as this, "being able to state your needs is an opportunity for others to indulge in the best of themselves. Sometimes it can feel uncomfortable.. some people feel demanding... Many people in chat feel". When asked, "What is the emotional level, what do you mean by that?" "I think (interesting to note she says, "I think" instead of "I feel") sometimes instinctively the way that we've felt most of our lives remains even if try to reason our way out of it ... we still have to contend with the emotional side of things" In my opinion, she is giving a hint at her struggles by explaining things in a way that separates herself from it so she doesn't have to feel it. And I'm curious if Dr. K spotted this because his next question confronts that a bit more, "What is the emotion? What is the emotion you're contending with?" she takes a pretty long pause. Dr K. "What are you afraid of and what are you ashamed of?" Another really long pause, "I don't know. I guess another way to explain it would be if someone was nice to me..." Again this seems like the mind finding a way to avoid the emotion that can be stirred up in the present moment with Dr K. I think allowing space for the emotions to develop without using the mind's intellectualizing tricks would be super helpful for her. Additionally, and this is something that I struggle with and many others do as well, we have to take accountability for our reasons for avoiding our emotions, shame, and fear. First recognizing where those behaviors come from and how they were nurtured in us, but then letting go of remaining in a sort of victim mindset. I believe that one is even harder to get out of because all of us have plenty of reasons to be in it. Her childhood was absolutely terrible. But she is insanely intelligent. Sometimes it seems that intelligence has taken over her in a sense. Idk these are just my observations 30 minutes in. I love your vids and find it incredibly helpful to watch discussions like these take place so we can see.
The smartest and most empathetic man I've seen in relation to mental health on TH-cam. Your contribution is so appreciated and I love you so much! You're so cool ❤️
11:18 When I first started therapy I heard this from all my therapists and honestly it just became a self fulfilling prophecy almost. People expected me to be more fucked up so I found reason to sabotage my life/relationships and own happiness so I fit the narrative that people expected. Psychologically/morally I do not know if it's a good or bad thing to hear your therapist to say something like that but my personal experience it harmed me big time.
I had the exact opposite experience interestingly enough. I became super fucked up bc I felt like my life wasn't rough enough to explain how messed up I had become. As a result, I did the same thing you did. I would sabotage experiences, relationships etc. so that I would have a reason to feel the way I did.
I absolutely cannot fathom how difficult it must've been to just live normally or have a neutral presence around people. I have nothing but respect for Anita for being able to endure through all of that physically, emotionally, and mentally. I just hate myself for being unable to approach people who stand out a lot back in my high school days, or just unable to approach anyone really... Now that I'm in college, I really pray that I could gain the courage to accept everyone for who they are and respect them. It makes me wonder how much people I could've helped back then just by starting a normal conversations with them. Maybe it's pity that drives me to think like this, maybe it's an inspiration, or maybe it's just to make me feel heroic and pleasured. But regardless of whatever reason I have to feel like this, I just hope that it works out well for my future friends throughout our lives together. Having experienced a life as a child, it's so clear now how essential it is to teach children to respect others despite of their disabilities and differences. Each of our actions through words or behaviors towards others are so strong that it could either elevate or scar another individual's life. I've heard that people absorb information more easily when they're children; things just stick stronger to a child's memories rather than when we're older. With that, I think that we should take the advantage to show the youngsters how things are done while they're still young. Sadly, most of the internet's content nowadays is full of bad influence, mainly douche tubers who have children as their main audience. I would love to think that the future generations would all be loving to one another, but sadly that's just not the case and just a completely naive thought. But even so, there'll also be great role models in the future as well, I'm counting on them to help out others in their time. I'll do what I can do in my time right now. Life is just really bizarre as a human being, it comes as a package with all the good and bad. It doesn't seem like we can get rid of the bad at all, what we can do is minimize it and train ourselves to learn from them. It's unfair too, we can't help everyone at the same time with the same amount of love and advice... We're just so flawed and limited. We just have to make the most out of that limit and push the limit further and further. Sorry for going off on a tangent, but yeah... Thank you for sharing this video and casting your AOE healing on everyone. You've truly helped me see things clearer especially with the Gaming Addiction series. I translated many of your teachings from there and adapted them in other situations and instances. (My english is kind of messy and some of my word choices are awkward, sorry bout that lol). I should stop talking now, have a great day everyone! Thank you for reading my essay :/ These are just my thoughts, I know that my opinions may be completely different from others. Feel free to drop your thoughts as well, maybe I can learn something new and trivial.
This is the only way you can deal with things like this. I'm stuttering (sometimes when I want to say a word I can't exhale to make a sound and it may look like a strange choking) and when it causes awkwardness, the first thing I do is explain it. People are very understanding if they know what's happening and they don't have to figure it out that is it intentional or not and why are you doing it.
Hey folks - Dr. K’s Healthy Gamer Coaching is a cutting-edge program tailored for the unique mental health needs of the internet generation. It can help with issues like lack of motivation, excessive procrastination, missing life purpose, repairing/building relationships, and more! All Healthy Gamer Coaches are trained personally by Dr. K!
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You are a true hero for trying something new that is outside of the norm to better our society.
This video was very informative and helpful, thank you...
Is anyone looking into reaching flow as a aid to ticks?
I read your webpages information and I don't understand how 2 weeks of learning from you and 8 weeks of group and personal coaching time makes them able to help people who need it. And how can they be certified to help people? They sound more like life coaches and even they aren't really trained to help people. So please explain to me, how any of them can really help people without real training.
i may got this wrong but i thought your professtion would of know about tics and tourette syndrome
why did i pause the video when he said 'can i think for a sec' and when he didn't start talking again i was like damn why he thinking so long
You high as fuck bruh 😂
That’s funny
Lmao
You silly dude, much love bro 😂
Rofl Thanks for cracking me up
I'm waiting for the day when he says, "Can I think for a second?", and the person says, "I'd prefer if you didn't".
lol
LMAOOO
My new life goal is to get on with Dr. K and pull this on him and see what he says 😂
someone said that like Muta [SomeOrdinaryGamers if someone doesn't know] said that when Dr k asked
"Uh, that is my trigger question, SOOOOooooo, This session is OVER!"
The story of being beat unconscious at 13 for having a disability made me tear up. Sad that things like that happen to kindest of people.
I think bullying makes you kinder. You know what it feels like to hurt, so you tend to be sensitive to other people's pain.
@@AdityaPrasad007 Or you go nuts yourself. Don't know how much is decision and how much it isn't.
@@Raffney Yeah I see people who haze tend to have been hazed badly. Some people pass on the pain since they try to find meaning in the pain they had to bear. They believe it is a twisted kind of relationship.
@@AdityaPrasad007 Yeah I agree. I do belive most people just try to pass on the pain to others. But there are a select, kind few who become even kinder with pain.
And the rare one who becomes MCU's Thanos. :P
@@AdityaPrasad007 For me it's done both. Right around the 6 year when I was the most bullied I straight up turned violent at times, like the one time I took my airsoft gun when I had somebody over at my parents house and shot them 50 or so times. They were an adult but still. I also punched a few people. There were only a total of 5 such occurences in my childhood though, and I calmed down to a decent degree after the bullying slowe down. I still have a lot of irritation issues, and sometimes anger. It never results in violence or verbal abuse but I'm still a very angry/irritated person on the inside as a result of the bullying. I was basically taught as a child to not show any emotion and all my sadness and crying started turning into anger and hatred instead. I'd say that now I'm the type of person who hasn't/won't hurt people, but would still hurt "bad" people without much consideration. For example if someone tries to bully me in an adult workplace it will most likely end badly for one of us and that's not cause I want it to, but simply how my brain functions after all those years.
Dr. K the entire talk: You need to learn how to self indulge, you don't need to give other people everything you earn.
Anita: *Donates $1,000 immediately after leaving*
lmao
LULLUL
Hot potato lol. Very kind of her though!
@@CurtisGabrielMusic yes but he is saying she doesn't need to help someone that helped her YES its nice but it could be in her brain (I gotta repay him He just helped me I owe him for kindness) Or something simular (I belive)
@@cogzell3557 Yes I saw that. I think it's polite to assume her act was genuine though, especially considering the session they just had.
She might be the most emotionally intelligent person that has been on this show.
If you haven't. Check out her stream. She has a lot of great moments.
@Blue .Barrymore why u think that?
Ken Tang how can you know
@Blue .Barrymore what makes you think the people that come on have low emotional intelligence?
@Blue .Barrymore Well how do you know you are more aware than them? Isn't it kind of impossible to know how aware you are?
1:31:33
"I want you to entertain the idea that sometimes you are the rabbit, that you don't have to give anything in return, and that people will just appreciate you for being you."
The best advice of this whole session
It's really easy looking at someone else, and saying " yes, of course people would appreciate you for being you", but at the same time it is insanely difficult to say that to oneself.
Sorry, she said that, my bad
I burst into tears and replayed that part 5 times. This session hits home way too close..
Well, someone is channeling Mr. Rogers. 😊☺️
Rabbit with a bag maybe.
I've heard of Anita from stream highlights, but this video made me a new fan for sure. She's very well-spoken and seems to think about human interaction a lot. Super interesting.
Man Cody me too!! I feel like I relate so much I have found that I have a complex of putting others above myself because my mom was also quite sick as a kid and that became an identifying part of myself! I love Dr. K! Now I really like Anita as well!!
100% agree. I really like her.
@@CharStar654 Just dont fall in love
I agree, Anita is definitely funny but also quite eloquent and insightful, which makes her all the more entertaining to listen to. Generally a very wholesome streamer, which is something twitch can definitely use.
gaming and stream chat is intense of course shes gunna tick more with all the stimulations
This conversation has actually motivated me to get back into therapy. I start next week. Thanks for this.
Hope it goes well
At almost 30 I'm finally getting help I desperately needed since a child. Dont be scared. this is for you. We gotta be ok for ourselves before we can be ok for others. Much love and peace from me to you and yours. Dont give up!
@henry how is it going man
How did it go? (:
me too! glad it helped
Wow. I am less than 20 minutes in and I'm so stunned. I knew Corpse was talking about how inspirational Sweet Anita is... but I didn't realise it was to this degree. Genuinely, she seems like one of the most kind-hearted, empathetic, understanding and also intelligent people I've seen. Wow.. Such a wholesome person despite what she's been through.
It's the accent, it helps a lot.
@@CJTranceAddiction what the fuck is your problem
@@CJTranceAddiction nah I think it's the person.
@@CJTranceAddiction I'm not clear where the accent comes from. Where did she grow up, do you know?
@@RalphDratman Isn't that a pretty normal British accent? Or does she have a very particular British accent? I would assume somewhere in the South. She doesn't sound like she is from the North at least.
I feel like I listened to two therapists treating each other.
@UTubeCorruptAntiFreeSpeechLiberalCo And you're mean
@UTubeCorruptAntiFreeSpeechLiberalCo doo doo head
wow someone makes a comment and people just jump on them. ok. you good @UTubeCorruptAntiFreeSpeechLiberalCo
UTubeCorruptAntiFreeSpeechLiberalCo seems you are projecting, because judging by your emotional and mean reaction the only one who “isn’t very well put together” and “has a long way to go” is evidently you
@@Yanimalyan Was going to say the same thing. Hope UTubeCorruptAntiFreeSpeechLiberalCo can find peace and happiness in their life.
when she talked about how she was physically bullied as a kid it was so disturbing
I remember running across the main road straight through traffic to out run three kids from school, I ran into a video shop and squatted down behind an isle. The store owner asked me if I was ok and I was so scared, I had him call my Mum to get my cousin to pick me up.
Acquaintances of those same kids threatened my brother with a knife for a freddo frog (10pence at the time) and when my brother went to the police, they told my Mother and him to forget about it as bringing any light to this situation would more than likely put our family at risk of retaliation and violence.
Good ol 2006 Glasgow, fucking shit place, glad I moved to Australia.
Don't know why I'm telling you this, who knows. The world is fucked up.
xD
@@forexalised9053 I miss 10p freddos
@@rampartj1843 Yeah feel like i have to take out a loan for one now
Yeah goddamn
She is someone with Wonder Woman levels of inner strength.
99% of people would wilt and fall over in a conversation such as this.
Is that sg bad?
More like 99 percent outer strength
She is unbelievable, such a sweet, bright person and I'd never have thought she'd dealt with such problems in life.
Honestly it's amazing how someone can be so positive given such a negative early experience.
Simp?
@@lucalalsie5653 bruh
@@lucalalsie5653 Because apparently someone can't say a women is a nice person. Because to be a man you have to be a misogynistic piece of shit. /s
Clicked on replies knowing the simp comment will be there.
yeah she gone through hell
Bro, everything aside, I'm amazing how eloquent she is. Like she's high level eloquent. I wish I could speak like that.
Diavolo222 it’s the accent.
@CJ Ransome quiet
@CJ Ransome relax bro, it's fine to compliment people.
I know a sailor down at the pub who speaks like that
@CJ Ransome bruh fuck off man, shes clearly very emotionally mature and we are just recognizing that and complimenting her
I think the fact that he cusses with her helps her make her feel more comfortable. My psychiatrist used to cuss all the time and it made things funnier since he was being so raw so it was easier to talk about the hard stuff since he was letting loose himself.
Seems like he kinda adapts his language a bit according to who he's talking to.
In his interview with Michael Reeves, who cusses a lot, K cussed a lot eventually as well. In the one with 5up, who cusses quite rarely compared to Michael and Anita, there was a lot less from K as well.
Might just be natural to mirror some nuances of how the other person is talking, especially for those in his profession, but it's probably a good technique
@@Cake3k it's what most therapists are trained to do, funnily enough. Copy what they see displayed. Be it body language or speech-wise. Because it makes you feel more connected and comfortable. It isn't just Dr K who does this. A bunch of therapists who have an online presence have talked about this. Even if they don't swear much in person if they have a client who does... They will in those sessions. Or if they do swear a lot IRL but their client doesn't they will be careful not to swear. It's probably why many people think therapists are manipulative. Because... They kinda are. But in ways that are helpful. Not harmful. For the most part. There are terrible therapists out there who hurt people, of course. There's no denying that exists... But the majority don't want to hurt ppl. Probably.
Yo when my therapist cusses it's so funny and effective I love it
Not cussing, but this reminds me of the time my past therapist and I were talking about the holiday months and by the end of the session she'd printed me off her favorite casserole recipe after I'd mentioned my favorite of my grandma's that she made every year lol
When I watch Dr. K say some super smart shit it's like watching someone pop off in a game. I literally have the same reaction. like "YOOOO LETS GOOOOO DR K JUST POPPED TF OFF WITH SOME EMOTIONAL ENCOURAGEMENT LETS GOOO"
Omg or like watching sherlock piece errything together
Yes I feel the same
Yeah, real life hero work going on here.
people:
dr.k: *i'm about to think for a minute and improve this person's whole life*
hahahahahahaha
this comment deserves more than a like, gold.
if he thinks for 10 seconds everyone just gets enlightened
Dr "So just lets think about it for sec" K
😂😂😂
I want to thank Anita from the bottom of my heart, I was also homeless, as well as sexually abused and emotionally abused all between the ages of 1-6 years old, and because we were homeless I didn't go to school either and was also completely alone in my chilldhood, hearing Anita being so sweet and genuine and motivated despite going through all this really inspired me. I'm trying to get a therapist at the moment but with not much money, and long waiting lists for free therapy, it's hard, but hearing Anita's story has inspired me to not give up as I have wanted to many times in the past.
Hey, just wondering how you are doing now :)
How are you doing?
hope your all good now 👍
Good luck. I hope you're in a better place now.
She's smart and gives him pushback. I love to see it.
Yes she had a lot of rationalizations which felt like defense mechanisms to me (tho I could be wrong). I hope the conversations strikes a chord in her to pursue this unit of self-work that Dr K uncovered. As he said, she's 90% there, but the last 10% is a weirdly toxic positivity.
@sbowesuk the important thing is that it's not a façade, it's very much both of them attacking and analysing the unhealthy coping mechanisms from both sides.
@@andrewrollout1657 They're absolutely defense mechanisms. She doesn't have a PHD like Dr. K so she's just talking in circles to avoid talking about herself.
Anita usually has complete control of her circumstances when she's on her own stream, so it was fascinating to see her pushed and challenged a bit. Very humanizing and interesting to listen to.
Yeah same when someone intelligent is questioned in a good way its cool to see!
She is really well spoken and her ability to express herself is incredible. She would make a good writer.
I love that Anita challenges Dr. K's take around 1:05:46 and I love his response. This exchange between them is so helpful.
Anita is one of the most charming people I've seen. She has such a caring and sweet voice, she could be a voice actor actually.
welllllll her tourettes says : no
"my Name's Bond... Bleep Bloop James Bond WOOP"
@@Veritanky she has done VO work so good job being wrong I guess
"You don't NEED to do anything to be worth SOMETHING" My whole head flew off.
Why? _Something_ isnt really meaning much. Still gotta work on oneself to be more.
Mah brain
Yeah I had to stop at that moment and fully take it in
I really wish Dr K knew about her recent stalker, and the way she describes him on stream. That she's not concerned, she's fairly sure he wouldn't try anything. It's the same analogy, she wants to see the best in people, and she probably thinks she's done something to encourage this stalker, and that's why it was so difficult for her to press charges. I think all of these things are tied to the same issue.
yeah its like she doesnt even see that the stalker is doing something wrong.
just trying to get another simp out of the way huh
@@dustinchen KEKW
Is the stalker a viewer or someone she met in real life?
@@maxono1465 I think that more than anything she just wants to appease the guy because of how scared she is. If she were to call him a horrible person then he might just try to murder her, so she doesn't want to risk that.
"One of the most important things you can teach children is how to appreciate who they are and how to derive enjoyment from life.
How are you going to teach them that unless you know how to appreciate life?" Absolutely beautiful and profound. Dr. K. is truly a gem and deserves all the praise for what he does.
I just made a realization. Thank you
"You don't forgive. You make excuses for people."
damn.... that was such a good boil down!
How true. I completely empathise with her. You go through life making excuses for people in an effort to avoid recognising inapropriate outcomes by justifying ...oh, it was not intentional...oh, it was an error....oh, unhappy childhood must be the cause...oh, a clumsy moment...oh, not evil just stupid....oh, the result of bad company...oh, didn't really mean it....oh, just thoughtless....oh, selfish....oh, didn't think....oh, another contrarian...oh, doesn't make sense....oh, just greedy + impatient...oh, disappointing..oh, secretly malicious or envious...oh, why the hell ? And this is like a stream of goodwill like a long rope being pulled out of you through your belly button...until one day...one morning...you tumble out of bed and it hits you....and then you suddenly change because you are forced to. The next step is to recognise and to categorise between an intimate reliable friend or close relative, a friend, friendly, indifference, adversary, enemy, and not to blunder by misplacing trust. Then everyone you know you can identify and categorise broadly into one of these categories and the propensity for tolerance, patience, trust, effort, is slotted into its proper place.
@@albertlabos8400 damn good read
Been following Anita since she started streaming. Really great person. Twitch needs many more like her.
Feuerbringer twitch just needs more of her, no two humans like that on this earth for sure
@@BewitchedMelvy Well there's more than 7 billion people on the planet, so odds are there are plenty that are similar.
Tom M not really.
@@zac7790 Learn some statistics bro
Tom M humans are defined by experiences, no one will ever have the complete same experience as one another and look completely the same.
This whole interview was very emotional, but 1:33:05 where Dr. K says, "You're worth it" and Anita is like "... thank you" really made me tear up. I didn't know much about her going into this but I really hope she finds her way and is able to love herself.
she already loves herself
I loved it too but also remember that sometimes saying "thank you" is a deflection. Like moving away from guilt or whatever and redirecting it into thankfulness without addressing the prob
@@japzy6014 Obviously she doesn ’t? Do you know her? Or do you just assume all attractive women are full of themselves and love themselves? I assume the latter and that misogony and bitterness probably stems from your own insecurities and lack of self love. Hope you find it bro
@@sannasvenhard4721 obviously she does? She doesn't care what people think of her? She has tourettes and goes out of her comfort zone? Hope the misandrist in you realize that not anything is about looks.
@@japzy6014 Having tourettes and streaming doesn’t automatically mean you love yourself. She has said several things which STRONGLY points to that she doesn’t love herself like that she feels guilt and shame whenever she does something for herself instead of for someone else. I know not everything is about looks but it is the only reason I can see for why you would say she loves herself despite everything she said.
"I've never hugged my mom" - that's fucking heartbreaking
when i heard that i was suprised he didn't say anything about it
Pretty common for Indian.
My grandfather left the world in 2021, i remember. I was planning like a hug to welcome him since 2010/2012
Never happened.
@@ShrirajGPethe How does that make it common for Indians?
@@Manas-jj6xf a lot of people, and families that I've observed, they aren't so overtly used to with hugging etc. Shake hand ... may be, Namaskar ... yes, touching feet(asking for blessings) ... yes. But hugging is not that common.
@@ShrirajGPethe Maybe yes, hugging isn't common in India because they smell bad.
It's just a joke.
Press "F" for breakfast
Julian Frazier F
F
F
F
F
Anita: (Tick) "Press F for breakfast"
Me: Spamming the F button.
Thats a pretty funny tick
So funny how she laughed at it as well, what a soul
But later she said "Breakfast - smells like dick", still spamming?
Imagine being her m8 and you are walking and she makes the Twitter notification sound 😂😂😂.
@@shartnerd lucky for me I'm into that shit
"The world is going to take as much as you have to give, and it will let you chew yourself out in the process, and it won't give two shits when you burn out and when you're exhausted. The thousands of people out there who benefit from your sacrifices will appreciate it, and no one will be left to care for you."
- Dr. Alok Kanojia
Just incredible wisdom from every stream.
Isn't this pretty much the same as having kids 🤔 or at least that's what my married friends tell me. They take and leave you exhausted with very little personal benefits. If your going to die someday anyways why not just live for yourself and take.
@@MatthewHartsuch Pay attention to the kind of people saying this, you'll notice that most of them suffered in their childhood. In my experience as a father, children start to give back very early - it starts with the first smile already. My kids have stabilized my life and I'm grateful everyday to have them. If you don't completely mess up parenting, you get back tenfold and your kids should return to you (once in a while) and have a pristine relationship with you as quasi-peers.
@@MatthewHartsuch Depends on the Culture and the Individual
In India most children take care of our parents throughout their lives.
Bruh, I'm a grown ass dude and I'm on the verge of tears right now...but I'm here for it
She’s is fantastic
I want her to give me dating advice
Yaaas 👏👏👏
Its hard to listen to anita's story, i think most people can feel just sad and sorrow from her but shes such a bright person. Long live her kind soul
i know it breaks my heart that she was beaten till she was unconscious and stones were throne at her all because she has something that she cant control.
Oh this is one of the most brutal videos I've ever seen, and I'm 12 minutes in
Like I'm 23 minutes in and struggling to not cry when I think about her story
I was just watching and I had to pause for a bit after 30 mins as a huge fire burnt in my heart. Why does hearing someone's life story bring me so much sorrow? I'm not a very emotional person but recently i've been getting more and more emotional at these things.
@@kartirnium felt the same way when someone i know told me she was raped when she was 5, its disturbing
Been binge watching Dr. K for a few days. This is the most heart breaking episode I've seen.
when anita said she never hugged her mom. It really showed how not good her parents were
edit: wording
Great talk, I enjoyed this.
I would love to add one thing on the point of "best that you could do parenting" vs "good parenting".
Is there a solid blueprint for great parenting is?
What do we consider a successful parenting job?
I cant speak for Anita despite the fact that i really do think she came out of her childhood superbly. Having had a similar upbringing, I am grateful for the "best that you can do parenting" because it taught me so many lessons about how try to be the best human possible despite having odds stacked against you. I dont think id be half the man I am today without that though I could be wrong, it is something i really believe.
Maybe those of us who grow up in "best that you can do parenting" households still became decent people IN SPITE of the setbacks, but I think I want to believe that we became what we are due in large part to those struggles.
Too much comfort stunts a childs growth, too much can be adverse so I suppose a middle ground is always best but id rather be on the side of too much adversity than not enough.
Anyways thank you for sharing this, it gave me a lot to reflect on.
I think doing a good job is giving you the tools needed to succeed without too much adversity.
Like a good job for a parent is giving you the tools and the emotional support as a person I guess maybe?
I didn't expect to see you guys here i love the channel
Well, the "best you could do" parenting is usually described as such by the child living in that kind of household. It's because of the cognitive dissonance one experiences through loving their parent, but also simultaneously, resenting them for doing an inadequate job. The person tries to gloss over their resentment by projecting a dubiously positive image of their parents or upbringing.
So there is really no objective blueprint for good/adequate parenting. It's just whatever parenting that makes that specific child feel secure. You'd never; however, hear a child of 'good' parents say that their parents "did the best that they could".
I think the near final part of healing from such a childhood is understanding that exact thing. People are flawed, nobody can be perfect and were all gonna make mistakes. Theres no exact formula for parenting any child, as theyre all different. Maybe it wasnt good parenting, but they tried to do the best they could by/for you.
Thats how you can come to understand the parent and forgive them, just as was relayed in this talk.
Aba and Preach in the comments? Bruh even the comment section is great here.
i just love seeing how cool it is that her ticks just slowly stop happening often as the conversation gets more deep causing her to think more deeper to answer. Its just so amazing!!
She survived all that childhood, damn. She is amazing. She earned a new fan.
"Every bad person will tell you they are good at the start."
Big true. I would add quote:
We admire heroes as children, growing up we learn to understand villains.
I am good.
Every bad person is good at the start
I tell people I’m bad at the start. If they stay, I proof that I lied. Why? Because only a good person will give a bad person a chance so I get rid of bad persons right from the beginning.🤯😉 Life is a game. Don’t be a player. Be a hacker.
schleschtn menschn jeht et immah jut
When he asked about having kids and I heard her start to answer, I knew immediately he was going to go in on Anita. This is such an amazing session, I will definitely be watching again!
Anita: Twitch is a symptom of loneliness.
My brain: Twitch is a simpdom of loneliness.
Nice
🤣🤣🤣
Twitch is a symposium of loneliness.
This comment got me so hard lmao
oof
Dr.K: "Get some Junkfood, guys."
Me, already stuffing my face with chips: "Way ahead of you."
My man! :DD
Hhh jjåj
literally had a 5 stack of toaster waffles in front of me LOL
lol
Wtf. This was 4 months ago?? I legit dodnt realize. Also, I had hot cheetos just now
God bless her soul. One of the most emotionally intellgent people I have ever heard.
Dr K is truly inspiring for his work
56:55 "you dont really forgive you let people behave badly" lard have mercy i relate to that one too much soo glad i found this dude man
Timestamps, but IMO this one you kinda have to watch it all as it builds on top of each other:
00:00 introductions
6:31 Growing up
19:20 What did the parents model for you?
29:20 Indian gender norm culture, being helped by people
43:00 "What do you think about your mom"-forgiveness
1:01:20 Judgement for self-love
1:05:50 therapist bias
1:11:30 having kids, adoption, options
1:22:34 SL syndrome, love, the transience of life
1:30:30 twitch is teaching how to love yourself
1:35:15 Meditation
1:48:52 Closing thoughts, Coaching program, watch Dr. K raid someone
There is a part at the 1:11:30 mark I think you caught when anita said it, but in your reply you didn’t address; “the answer to the worlds problems isn’t another DNA copy of me” I guess it’s already established that she has a hard time loving herself so maybe you didn’t need to address it but it stood out for me at that point.
Dr. K you really are doing some good work here man. Keep it up. Your vids and talks help me better understand people and myself. Really enjoyed this
@@leafface5890 i have the same feeling, not because i dont love myself. Just philosophically. I'm a antinatalist. We dont need more people in the world. Lets help the ones that are already here.
I was complaining about wishing there were timestamps a few days ago, thanks for adding them!
@@albertthorval4674 nah, don't worry. I'm just a nihilist/absurdist. I don't really hate anything. I just think the world is full of suffering and that we have a overpopulation problem. Check out David Benatar, he is a philosopher who argues/advocate for antinatalism. Even if you won't agree with him, he has pretty logical reasons for being against giving birth. I've come to this conclusion by philosophical reasoning. Not by any personal reason. To be clear, i'm an antinatalist for all of humankind, not just my own offspring.
The basic argument goes:
(1) the presence of pain is bad;
(2) the presence of pleasure is good;
(3) the absence of pain is good, even if that good is not enjoyed by anyone;
(4) the absence of pleasure is not bad unless there is somebody for whom this absence is a deprivation
Conclusion: Not giving birth assure that no suffering will happen to a new being, which is good.
But those points might not be crystal clear unless you delve more into his reasoning behind every point.
Holy shit, the part about having to acknowledge the shortcomings of your parents in order to forgive them was so insightful, it felt like something physically clicked in my head haha. Food for thought.
Jesus this helped me so much. Thank you to both of you so much. And it explains why at the beginning, I immediately felt repelled by her. I saw the false things in her carefully constructed personality. The things in MYSELF I'm struggling to fix. "We reject in others that which we reject in ourselves." It was like I saw her serving herself up like a piece of meat. Something I still struggle with. Ive also struggled being in multiple abusive relationships. And, I had a huuuge breakthrough about my relationship wirh myself going back to how I feel about my mother. Dr. K, you are doing amazing things. Thanks to Anita for being brave about sharing so much personal information and for all you both do.
I love Anita saying "Press F for breakfast"
Maaaaan..
I resonate with this woman sooo much!
I've struggled with so many of these same situations in my life, with having Tourette's myself.
Thank you for this Anita 💙 i needed to hear this 🙏
This is honestly the first time someone actually inspired me.
I watched this and then just saw a Sweet_Anita stream not too long ago today and she has bookshelves and art on her walls! I'm so proud of her! :D
I am a new fan of Anita but at 55:00 the talk actually became very real for me coz I realized that I have not really truly forgiven my mom or dad for the way I've become, I just stopped blaming them and being full of empathy, Thanks to this actually helped me a lot too.
Same
This helped me more than any two-hours of my life ever did.
I feel the good kind of anger and relief, that I ever so rarely allowed myself.I needed it.
Much love to all of you!!
Anita's mom does sound like an amazing person. A disabled teen mom who is an artist, a scientist and a photographer? We would probably love her if we met her. But I agree that she might not have provided the best environment for her to grow up in. With intent or not.
Yes. The environment that Anita grew up in was abnormal, regardless of why it happened, regardless of whether anyone could have prevented it or not. It was not the environment that a child *should* grow up in.
@@hughmungus431 Transgender children don't commit suicide because they get medical treatment, they do it because they aren't accepted and allowed to transition. If you care about trans lives, you need to start at your own prejudice and not by attacking people online.
@@JuMixBooxthere is no statistical decrease in suicide from trans children whether they get a medical transition or not. The rate is high either way. It's not as black and white as you're making it seem
This was a really powerful episode. I ended up looking at a relationship in my life and blaming them for the first time ever as I always put it in myself. Journaled it all. And to my surprise it actually helped and was like a weight was lifted from my heart. Least part of it. Boosh!
This is when i realize how freaking lucky i am for having such an easy life.
Yeah me too! But also dont delegitimize your problems cause that's not great!
It always could be worse, but it can always be better too
It's not easy, but it's certainly livable.
I love these interviews so much. The moments where you can not only see and hear but FEEL something click, for either Dr. K or the person being interviewed, are awesome. You're doing awesome work here. And thanks for sharing with us, Anita. This was a really valuable conversation.
This is the first time I'm watching one of Dr. K's videos, and wow that man is good at his job. I wish my therapists and psychiatrists could have conversations like that with me. I just learnt more from a fucking youtube video than I've had from 2 years of therapy.
that meditation was the most contagious thing ever. i couldnt help but smile the whole way through and really appreciate myself while doing so
I'm just struggling to understand how such a positive force exists in this man. I have a similar view of trying to shine light into the world, but he's also extremely competent at actually helping people. "If only I could be so grossly incandescent."
I can relate with her so much. She's actually so well spoken, and used her unfortunate situations in her upbringing to grow rather than repeat the cycle. Great job as usual Dr. K. This was super inspiring.
Looking forward to another round with Anita, definitely was a joy to listen&watch
this woman deserves happiness full stop.
I get so fascinated when young people are so reflected and introspective. I guess it get forced upon you when you get introduced with great challenges in life. I've pretty much binge-watched Dr.K since it was recommended on my youtube channel, and I'm so happy there is platforms like this for people in need, and a huge factor in destigmatize mental health in today's society. I'm almost 40, and I'm really kicking myself for not focusing more on mental health when I was younger and struggling with AD(H)D.
"Entertain the idea that people can see value in you without you giving anything to them, that you have intrinsic value. That by virtue of who you are, you have worth." This man is making me cry ;_;
This is eye-opening, wholesome and highly needed. Thanks so much!
Me: *Eating Doritos with my eyes closed at 4am*
"my therapist told me to"
Dr. K is a medical professional, I'm sure he knows what's best for you.
@@SporkyMcFly he certainly does 😅
SHIT ME TOO BRO
I will have to do this, too
that sounds very awesome :3
Was only going to watch for 10-15 minutes and ended up watching the whole thing. Very good.
I'm blown away by how self reflected Anita is honestly. She is such an honest, caring and loving person.
This is definetely my favorite VOD so far. Anita is an amazing soul and I am so happy for her that she is beeing embraced by such a huge amount of people, considering all the terrible things that happened to her in the past. Many people hurt her so much but she was never fully broken, she recovered and came back stronger than before, and this is a quality, or rather capability that I admire in her so much! I sincerely wish her the best!
I love the person she is deep down, she's amazing, I didn't know she was such a strong woman. So selfless, and compassionate, it's inspiring really, the way she lives day by day.
I'm stunned by the quality of this interview, this is how these discussions should be. And I really appreciate just how will Dr. K handles his words, Anita says "awkwardness causes a lot of ticks," and you have Dr. K always asking "Can I take a moment? Can I process this/think about that?" Making sure the silence is announced or requested so it never makes her feel uncomfortable or makes her worry about what she just said.
He always asks for a minute though
This is absolutely incredible. I have been MIND BLOWN there hasn't been a focused group of therapists regarding video games, gamers and just the general online community. Theres a massive group of people that this can help as well as it helps me. I've wanted to help with something like this for so long but felt as if the current world of therapy and psychiatry wouldn't allow for it to be done the way I'd like. Yet here Dr. K is doing just that. Absolutely incredible.
This video especially resonated with me as Anita has a lot of similarities to the struggles I've had. Her thoughts were also extremely helpful and interesting. Especially the question of asking why he came to twitch and him trying to help as many people as he can. In a way he is doing exactly the selfless thing he advises against at least it appears so but clearly he knows how to prioritize his own life as well. Finding that healthy balance of relieving suffering and helping as well as keeping yourself intact in the process is truly a masterful and incredible art.
this girl omg she's so strong.
Being in “the field” this is one of the most amazing things I have seen in TH-cam. I do watch Anita and am familiar with her “stuff”. This…was so well done and more instructive than you may think. Thanks for this!
"You are not defined by your challenges, you are defined by how you handle them."
What an awesome conversation. The topics resonated with me so much. Sacrificing myself for the sake of others and forgetting how to care for myself is what I've been struggling with for years. These principles might help me as well. Thanks!
What a beautiful soul Anita is!
I found this talk interesting. Growing up in the UK I was bullied badly (physically and mentally) for being dyslexic. I like to think I came out of it still a good person but I cannot deny I still have my flaws. I learned a lot listening to this. Thank you Dr.K and Anita.
I legitimately had a super similar conversation with one of my closest friends about this topic tonight. She is amazing but puts EVERYTHING ahead of her to a fault. She came to me breaking down and this is what we kind of came to conclude.
Also about a week ago I found your channel and you have really helped myself with internal battles and life long struggles I've had. Thank you for all that you do.
Wow. So, I’m watching this interview for a second time, after watching this one, and then the second and third ones. It was eye-opening the first time, and re-watching it after seeing Anita’s evolution is a whole new experience.
It’s strange, I thought I had watched the whole thing the first time, but I’m just now seeing the chocolate part for the first time. I have just enough experience being guided through somatic processing that I can see and feel what’s happening. It’s so engaging, and it’s so helpful. It’s so heartening.
i didnt know this girl going in but watching this stream, shes kinda really amazing
This was a really amazing episode, Anita has a great way of talking and it's amazing to see how much she knows about herself and the world around her, I really hope she comes on again eventually, this was easily one of my favorite streams I've seen so far.
Such an exceptional conversation. It's always such a joy (and can be a challenge too) when people are so insightful. It's really stimulating and interesting. Defense mechanisms are also super rife with insightful people--that's why therapists treating therapists (or just very experienced clients) can be challenging.
Dr. K does such a good job navigating that here, reaffirming her when he uses confrontation, rephrasing his questions in a way that allow for challenging reflection but in a way that is strengths focused and affirming... and I'm only 30min in to the video right now (on my other work profile--sorry for the YT metrics guys).
I haven't been to the channel for longer than I like to admit, but Dr K's work is so good. I really appreciate the online celebs who are willing to take the risk of allowing these streams to go public. They are already in the public eye and vulnerable to some of the worst toxicity in our culture because of their mode of work. I would suspect they are exposed to some unique risks others may not be exposed to--but I suppose they also have more knowledge and skills to navigate that too.
Dr K does such a brilliant job of mitigating those risks and portraying his clients in such a positive light. I'm genuinely impressed. Sometimes in sessions we take calculated risks (always in the clients best interest, of course). To have to do that with the whole world watching--and trolling? Now that's serious Cajones.
And then to do the work with such tenderness, presence, compassion, and sincerity. This is honestly so refreshing to see, and it inspires me to continue to challenge myself to hone my craft further.
Thank You Dr K. And Thank you Sweet Anita for this stream.
Anita's life sounds like a classic novel I would read. she's been through a lot.
Kind of reminds me of the Glass Castle
Anita is nothing short of a hero if you ask me.
She can be extremely proud of who she is.
yeah, but heroes need bubble baths too
Adding a comment to support this video.
Anita is so inspirational, loving, and I've learned a lot from this genuine, very mature and highly intelligent interaction of 2 great souls.
Finally Anita! You're the best Doc.
I believe Anita intellectualizes her way out of experiencing emotions or confronting them during uncomfortable moments. Which would make a lot of sense, what choice does a child who is completely alone have? She's home and wants to learn. Perhaps she spent a lot of time reflecting and thinking. Possibly reading a lot as well. She's giving wonderful answers but typically framed as this, "being able to state your needs is an opportunity for others to indulge in the best of themselves. Sometimes it can feel uncomfortable.. some people feel demanding... Many people in chat feel". When asked, "What is the emotional level, what do you mean by that?" "I think (interesting to note she says, "I think" instead of "I feel") sometimes instinctively the way that we've felt most of our lives remains even if try to reason our way out of it ... we still have to contend with the emotional side of things"
In my opinion, she is giving a hint at her struggles by explaining things in a way that separates herself from it so she doesn't have to feel it. And I'm curious if Dr. K spotted this because his next question confronts that a bit more, "What is the emotion? What is the emotion you're contending with?" she takes a pretty long pause. Dr K. "What are you afraid of and what are you ashamed of?" Another really long pause, "I don't know. I guess another way to explain it would be if someone was nice to me..." Again this seems like the mind finding a way to avoid the emotion that can be stirred up in the present moment with Dr K.
I think allowing space for the emotions to develop without using the mind's intellectualizing tricks would be super helpful for her. Additionally, and this is something that I struggle with and many others do as well, we have to take accountability for our reasons for avoiding our emotions, shame, and fear. First recognizing where those behaviors come from and how they were nurtured in us, but then letting go of remaining in a sort of victim mindset. I believe that one is even harder to get out of because all of us have plenty of reasons to be in it. Her childhood was absolutely terrible. But she is insanely intelligent. Sometimes it seems that intelligence has taken over her in a sense.
Idk these are just my observations 30 minutes in. I love your vids and find it incredibly helpful to watch discussions like these take place so we can see.
The smartest and most empathetic man I've seen in relation to mental health on TH-cam. Your contribution is so appreciated and I love you so much! You're so cool ❤️
11:18 When I first started therapy I heard this from all my therapists and honestly it just became a self fulfilling prophecy almost. People expected me to be more fucked up so I found reason to sabotage my life/relationships and own happiness so I fit the narrative that people expected.
Psychologically/morally I do not know if it's a good or bad thing to hear your therapist to say something like that but my personal experience it harmed me big time.
I had the exact opposite experience interestingly enough. I became super fucked up bc I felt like my life wasn't rough enough to explain how messed up I had become.
As a result, I did the same thing you did. I would sabotage experiences, relationships etc. so that I would have a reason to feel the way I did.
@@KindaKaylaHQ 🤯
I absolutely cannot fathom how difficult it must've been to just live normally or have a neutral presence around people. I have nothing but respect for Anita for being able to endure through all of that physically, emotionally, and mentally.
I just hate myself for being unable to approach people who stand out a lot back in my high school days, or just unable to approach anyone really... Now that I'm in college, I really pray that I could gain the courage to accept everyone for who they are and respect them. It makes me wonder how much people I could've helped back then just by starting a normal conversations with them. Maybe it's pity that drives me to think like this, maybe it's an inspiration, or maybe it's just to make me feel heroic and pleasured. But regardless of whatever reason I have to feel like this, I just hope that it works out well for my future friends throughout our lives together.
Having experienced a life as a child, it's so clear now how essential it is to teach children to respect others despite of their disabilities and differences. Each of our actions through words or behaviors towards others are so strong that it could either elevate or scar another individual's life. I've heard that people absorb information more easily when they're children; things just stick stronger to a child's memories rather than when we're older. With that, I think that we should take the advantage to show the youngsters how things are done while they're still young. Sadly, most of the internet's content nowadays is full of bad influence, mainly douche tubers who have children as their main audience. I would love to think that the future generations would all be loving to one another, but sadly that's just not the case and just a completely naive thought. But even so, there'll also be great role models in the future as well, I'm counting on them to help out others in their time. I'll do what I can do in my time right now.
Life is just really bizarre as a human being, it comes as a package with all the good and bad. It doesn't seem like we can get rid of the bad at all, what we can do is minimize it and train ourselves to learn from them. It's unfair too, we can't help everyone at the same time with the same amount of love and advice... We're just so flawed and limited. We just have to make the most out of that limit and push the limit further and further.
Sorry for going off on a tangent, but yeah... Thank you for sharing this video and casting your AOE healing on everyone. You've truly helped me see things clearer especially with the Gaming Addiction series. I translated many of your teachings from there and adapted them in other situations and instances.
(My english is kind of messy and some of my word choices are awkward, sorry bout that lol).
I should stop talking now, have a great day everyone! Thank you for reading my essay :/ These are just my thoughts, I know that my opinions may be completely different from others. Feel free to drop your thoughts as well, maybe I can learn something new and trivial.
I am just so damn happy that I can watch videos like this.
He wants breakfast, send it now.
Press 'F' for breakfast.
F
F
F
f
F
I love her so much. What a beautiful soul 🥺
She is a gem and this helped me a lot.
Anita is the most confident/unembarrassed person I’ve seen. She doesn’t sweat the awkward interactions caused by her tics
This is the only way you can deal with things like this. I'm stuttering (sometimes when I want to say a word I can't exhale to make a sound and it may look like a strange choking) and when it causes awkwardness, the first thing I do is explain it. People are very understanding if they know what's happening and they don't have to figure it out that is it intentional or not and why are you doing it.
I love this video because Anita and Dr. K are both people that genuinely have a passion for helping people and making the world a better place.