I feel that brother but we discovered this video and I really believe what both of these brilliant guys said especially Jordan talking about how we should assume our innocence first. You will get through it brother, me and you both.
In Christianity forgiveness is the basis our our faith but many people tend to forget the most important part of it is the forgiveness of one self. It all starts with you
So I just decided to forgive myself tonight. I never want to forget but I do want to forgive. It will take a while but I will keep on reminding myself. I hope that will work.
Destructive self talk is brutal to everyone who suffers from that. One of my rules is, never talk to myself in my head, in a way that I wouldn't speak to a friend. Helped me a lot!
This pop up at the right moment , i am in my 20s and i have lost hope. I have being in alot of troubles and i have done miskates that are punishing me every day .Today being my birthday i hope my life will change as i forgive myself. Wish me happy birthday guys 😢
No one tells you and they should, your 20's are one of the most difficult ages to process and survive. You are still maturing, your brain hasn't quite fully developed and honestly you don't know who you are or who you want to be. Or what you want to be. I promise you can make it I hope you do! You are here and that's a great start! Happy Birthday!!
I’m also in my 20’s and have mistakes that HAUNT me to my core and it makes me terrified for the future. It will be okay, it has to be. Despite your past, if you dedicate your life to being better, you deserve a good life. Forgive yourself and learn to love yourself, Happy Birthday.
Hey youngster- keep yer head up. It will get easier I promise you. The 20’s are tough for most everyone, myself included. As you get older, you’ll get wiser. With that comes the ability to discriminate what to get upset about and what not to. In the meantime try and make good decisions, and work HARD. And if you don’t exercise, start. It will change your entire outlook, and make you proud of yourself for doing it. Stay strong!
God bless dude Jesus loves you and has a plan for your life. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16
It's probably fate that these two people I admire touched this topic today. This is EXACTLY what I'm struggling with. Regret. I regret a mistake I made 11 years ago and I'm trying to get over it.
I feel so lucky to have access to insights and discussions like this that can really help understand things better and (hopefully) orient my life in a better way.
I tried my best for years- slept 4-6 hours a night for years to make things happen. It still wasn't good enough, but it was my best. That has to mean something. Its a hard thing to let go.
Everyone makes mistakes, but I think there needs to be an important caveat added to that, which is the ability to recognize a recurring pattern of malice. People should be afforded opportunities to redeem themselves, but there are times where permanently severing ties is the appropriate decision.
What about your own repeated mistakes? You can cut ties with someone who hurts you but since you are stuck with yourself, you have to learn to forgive yourself for your bad intent and have the courage to realign and to try to do better... again and again i guess.
@oaktreedialogues - you missed the key factor: a recurring pattern of malice. Repeated mistakes are not the same as repeated pattern of malice. When there’s malice - severing ties is the needed and healthy thing to do. Forgiveness doesn’t mean maintaining any kind of relationship with the intentional, malicious “offender.
Jocko's words were what I needed to hear the most when I didn't want to go to the gym. After a whole year of consistent training, I'm not just more healthy physically, but armed with the discipline to pick up on other skills I wanted to try, but I wasn't ready to commit to.
This was brilliant. I think 70-80% of my PTSD is wrapped around decisions made by senior leaders and politicians. Along with some folks who had gone off the range for personal reasons or glory. From a very young age i was taught that what matters was did you give everything you had, then do an honest AAR and seek to learn and never stop learning. For a long time i had nightmares about a guy I did not kill, I know from every point of view that I made the right decision, but could not let go of the anger that he "got away with it"... because it was very personal I had forgotten that once you've done your best, the results, the endstate is not yours, outcomes belong to creation. Another big one, that i have spent a lot of time working through with a buddy vet and therapists is a time my senses were 'off' and an explosion sent myself and another through a wall. I can still see, vividly, a piece of wood sticking out of his thigh. And I had always had a feeling about things, but not this time... well, the truth is I was exhausted beyond belief and pushing hard and was doing the best I could under the circumstances. We all have these and more, and we also need to give ourselves credit for our successes- for me most of my proudest are when I stood up to higher, even if I lost. And I did once, under fire, actually say "Follow Me".. which still makes me smile. Peace, mjb
Thank you for this. I have been suffering PTSD and intense regret for over two years. I have flashbacks and have been unable to sleep for more than an hour a day. When my eyes can no longer stay open, I fall asleep around 6 am... only to awaken at 7 am with an image of a tragic and traumatic incident. This conversation has helped me. Again, thank you. 🙏
I hope you find recovery from this terrible ptsd. I've heard EMDR therapy or somatic experiencing can help your body process what happened so that you can complete the stress cycle, allowing your body to start living in the present day again instead of the stressful past of that tragic event.
Thank you!!! This was much needed to hear! Their is one thing extra I struggled with. Not sure if others did too. When you undergo psychological trauma and ALL of the men you respect in a spiritual/religious capacity are fighting it can also make your world feel it’s falling apart to the already unsteady terrain. My identity is in Christ but when Covid scared Pastors out of their pulpits. I was a scared woman left standing outside, but I was determined to get back in so to speak. It was terrifying. Men please never again let women feel forced to fight. God did not create us for for that type of warfare. Men lead with all tenacity, with all passion with all endurance and bravery. You all were called to defend our country and us women and children. God bless y’all.
You do the best with the Skills, Tools and abilities they have with the best information they have. If you look back and regret you've 1. Grown. Now release it because you can only move forward
Intent is really the cornerstone of this video. Because it's the intent that gives it the moral standing of deserving forgiveness. Even christians know that people who ask for forgiveness with the intent to get off the hook and go back to doing whatever it is they were doing will not be forgiven on judgement day
I talked with another girl while i was in a relationship, my girlfriend was great, loyal, never wronged me, i ask the the other girl out, regrated almost immediately and ended the date before it even happened, my girlfriend found out after sometime and end it all, i thought of myself as a moral person at least on "i will never cheat", i really hate myself right now, i really hurt her, badly, i wish i was never born tbh. eddit: i'm not gonna end myself but man i wish i had the balls
@@SphericalShadessatan was a anjel once, he betrail god and became satan because of his egoism, and recetiment he and his demons atorment people until this day, but just, until the final days! After that he will burn forever ,he is detiny to comdemid.. he is alredy doom. And we are too if we sick his way or lissen to him insted of god.
All of this sounds extremely logically and if we were completely rational robots this would work 100% of the time. The problems is as humans we do have emotions. That’s what’s hindering healing/letting go. So the question for me is, why are some people more able to deal with the emotions and others are just overwhelmed and get stuck? I think that’s the important question that could have tremendous benefit.
When you are broken and paralyzed with regret, the first step as part of your healing process might just be to reach out to God and ask for His forgiveness. Because He forgives everything if you ask for it. And if He can forgive you, then you can start to forgive yourself. You may never be the same person you were before, but He just may be leading you to be a better person. The Humpty Dumpty effect...when you feel like no one on this earth can put you back together again. Only God can.
PTSD isn't primarily military related. I think Jordan knows this of course. But my only point is you cannot go back and think next time I'm in the grip of ptsd I will stop being ptsd traumatized. Best you go do is train the rest of your life..is when you are in that grip..remind your self that was then this was now its just that old war injury acting up. And it's family war history. I believe ptsd hurts the person the most. Forgive yourself for carrying ptsd
I feel I do the best I could but I can't help it when I start having health problems at times that are out of my control I learned to deal with my heart condition I have me having congestive heart faluire
I think you also have to be able to conceive a life where everybody is NOT just doomed. If you grew up around negative thought patterns (everything is hard, life is tough, what’s the point of anything), then you may sit in that doom and complain and not do anything to actively move forward. I think two preconditions of actively moving forward are (1) believing that you can or are capable and (2) believing things in life are capable of being good, and they’re capable of being good for you in particular. You may need to work on those beliefs before conceiving that you are capable of moving past this issue and are not doomed by any one single thing. Life keeps moving forward and you need to realise that it can for you too
Sometimes no matter how many times that’s been said, time will heal wounds. Peace of mind is on the way, just a little longer, each day is another day to learn and do better if the situation ever happens again. But it probably won’t happen again to us personally and unfortunately it’s going to happen to all future generations just as it did with us, so chill my dudes! It’s our time to relax now.
3:19 저는 몇일간 혼란 속에서 고민하다가, 뒤로 물러나 생각을 하여야 된다는 사실을 깨닫고, 혼란 속에서 저를 바로 잡았습니다. 그리고, 교수님께서 말씀하신 [글의 작성]으로 제가 잘못한 것이 무엇인지 파악을 하였습니다. 항상 본인과 진심 어린 대화는 도움이 되는 것 같습니다. 저를 만드신 분들은 모든 선배님들의 기도와 응원과 응원으로 가능하게 되었습니다. 다시 작성하지만, 모든 것은 제 잘못 입니다. 저는 너무 반성 중이며, 앞으로 속죄하며 살 예정 입니다. 마지막의 혼란 속에서 [성경]을 읽고, 보잘것 없는 한 명이라는 사실을 깨달으며, 저를 바로 잡을 수 있었습니다.
Thanks for honoring my freedom of speech. For those in religion it's not a matter of forgiving your self. It's a matter of whether you can convince your self that "God" forgives you for being a sinner. Atheists don't suffer from that self mental torture. I can't speak for other Atheists, but I believe that if I am as kind to others as each circumstance allows, I can't do any better than my best.
What do you do when you know truly that you wouldn't really do anything different? Knowing in your heart that you would want to do it differently but that you wouldn't, and you wont do it in the future either? The way I feel now is the price for my actions.
It's like investing in stocks. One or two will surely beat inflation by a factor of two or more. But, to really get anything out of it you'd have to invest a majority of your wealth. You'd do it in a heartbeat if you somehow knew which one was right. It's the inverse of investing in Microsoft or Apple in the past. It's obvious to everyone now, but it wasn't back then. We're all doing the best we can. Well, some do better than others. It seems you've got a solid foundation.
How do you properly assess the situation, and answer the question "did you do the best you could?" After the fact it's easy to see mistakes. Easy to see how to improve things.
You have to be really honest with yourself. Even your assessment of a situation can be flawed. Personally I did as much research as I could stand. There were facts I could not confirm. In the end, I realized I was past my limits. I could have helped that woman had I known more about common pharmaceuticals. But, I spent my time learning engineering. Thus, I did the best I could to prepare for the problems I could see coming. Had I studied psychology sooner, I might have been able to help my parents. But, I was too busy being a toddler. Know your limits... Know that most of us are not fully prepared for every situation we face. Do not hold your future / current growth against your past self. I think that's why many people choose to stop learning. Learning can be extremely painful in that way.
I stopped being able to keep up adequate breathing to the point of gasping for air as I snap out of an altered state. I'm 40 and I've had 2 Ablations, a fake heart surgery aimed at curing a crippling guilt complex through the act of death by flaming arrow to the heart 😅
You forgive yourself your mindset-your thoughts, words and actions-because you are in the world, restrained and blinded by the humanhood. You struggle bravely to adopt a more unconditionally loving way to think, feel and respond to every experience-but while you remain the single moving force within your consciousness, the humanhood will eventually win.
You can't just say you are going to forgive yourself 2:00 but you want to set things right by following a process of laying out what went wrong, giving a defense, seeing what you did wrong, and then swearing not to repeat the mistake. It looks like you'll be just saying things though.
Forgive yourself and ask Christ for forgiveness. We are all flawed people by nature. We are all tempted and fall for sun in life. Learn about Christ and what He did for all of us. Accept His love and ask for forgiveness and watch as your life transforms. He will help you want to be a better person.
God can do all things, including forgiving you. Go to Him and He will show you the path to redemption. The guilt you experience will be your punishment. The change you make will be your salvation.
I just found out my cousin was in the hospital she has congestive heart faluire like I do it runs I feel in our family jeans my cousin was in hospital for congestive heart faluire and water in her heart and my blood pressure was 98 over 68 was very very low why I was very very sick for a while throwing up every thing I eat and drink and throwing up my blood pressure medicine and my antibiotics for stomach flu and pneumonia I am sad because how I have congestive heart faluire and how I feel short out of breath all the time because my heart condition I have me having congestive heart faluire
Does the same process of assessing one’s self judgment and forming a corrective experience apply for someone who did something horrible as a reaction to trauma? In van der bolks book on trauma he talks about a Vietnam vet who after seeing his squad all killed in front of him went to a town, killed a bunch of innocent people including children, and raped a women. I don’t meant to be crude but it is difficult to think about how this process would apply to that man.
@@StatueofGuyThinking I think someone being able to laugh at something is more mature than someone who can't find humor even in serious situations. I'd much rather laugh than not laugh. No ill intentions.
I enjoy listening to and learning from both of these men. But Dr. Peterson was on a different level from Jocko. Jocko and his philosophy are useful on a surface level. But Dr P just runs so deep.
I had that realization 5 years ago. What helped me get out of my own head was using a voice recorder. It's a role playing thing. Imagine that you can send the data card back in time for your younger self to hear. Or, tell your future self what you really feel. You might live with regret for decades. You'll know if you were lying. I said a lot of the same things. I did the best I could with the information I had, the education, the friends, the money... If I knew what way to go, the things to say, the places to be, that would have given my future self the life he wanted... I would have done it. He knows that, even if I don't. The life he deserves is the one I'm giving him. It takes time, patience, and humility to realize who you will become... Haha.
Unfortunately when I hear people say they made a mistake is that they mean is they didn't like the outcome. (I am referring to non battle situations here) It's not their behavior they have issues with but that their actions didn't produce the desired result. I think I need to be around better people. 😂
Could I add "You make the best (most honest) decision that you can, with the information that you have at that time AND with the experience you have gained up until that time"? Next time you have a little more experience in your arsenal to draw from.
Gooooood damn I really need advice that isn’t interrupted every 2 minutes by a fuggin commercial. “And if you want to learn to let go you should ……..have you seen the pillow cube?” I just need help not a damn pillow.
I've been kicking the s*it out of myself since early '21 after being pressured into getting the bivalent V. Have spent a ton of money on doctors, blood tests and supplements. I was reluctant from the get go, but after being pulled aside for the 4th time, I gave in like a bi*ch. Now I have severe tinnitus and an elevated IgG4 level. I feel doomed and am now changing careers in my 30's. I'll never work for another liberal owned business again. If I had known how dangerous it was, I would've quit. I would've been willing to lose my home, if it came down to that.
"If what you did was so horrible then you should never be let off the hook. If that's your criteria for judgment then everybody is doomed." Curious if Peterson believes this still stands in the corner cases. Stalin, Mao, Hitler? Could they ever be let off the hook?
I've been in plently of embarrassing, awkward situations. But I don't need forgiveness, because I did nothing wrong. I'm always aimed toward resolution. I'd just like to get much better at it. For that I need some kindling)
There is nothing that we can do to save ourselves! We are broken and we are useless. But God, who knows us, can use broken vessels like us to perform His will! If you feel useless, like I do most of the time, you need to know that you are special! As are we all!
God cannot "save" you, since, in rebelliousness and stubbornness, you will continue to make the same earthbound mistakes till the end of time-thus creating your own sicknesses and miseries. Those who have insight and understanding will recognize that Christ has RETURNED... explaining WHY he taught the principles of life-which people now need so urgently to save themselves and the planet from wholesale disaster. There will be those who will receive the TRUTH with joy, since in their soul, they have known that beyond the religions of the world has been TRUTH-the REALITY of existence. These are the people who will prosper and will eventually save the world from self-annihilation. You cannot ignore the problems inherent in your individualized existence and believe that God will "save" you from them. Your only hope of a final escape, of stepping off the treadmill of human experience, is to recognize and acknowledge them and then work minute-by-minute to transcend them and eventually merge, in purity of mind, heart and action, and become "one" with UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
so ppowerful! Many people are so hard on themselves its no wonder we face so many criticisms of our modern society. Peterson said that idea I just said with astonishing accuracy!
You can't atone by committing suicide, in fact it is another sin. The best you can do is restitution and repentance and the rest comes from God. One issue not discussed here it things people do that are not "accidents" but deliberate wrong decisions or in other words, they chose sin over righteousness.
You forgive yourself/others your/their mindset-your/their thoughts, words and actions-because you/they are in the world, restrained and blinded by the humanhood. People struggle bravely to adopt a more unconditionally loving way to think, feel and respond to every experience-but while people remain the single moving force within their consciousness, the humanhood will eventually win. As for forgiveness: Real/true forgiveness is the state of understanding yourself/others and your/their reasons for your/their behavior so clearly that you/they can say in all honesty-there is nothing to forgive.
If I could fix the problems I caused, I would. But nothing I can do will solve the problem. It's best if I just suffer in silence. Anything I do will just disturb the lives of people that I have hurt, and will not make me any less guilty. It's best if I suffer alone. No one cares about me anyway.
Not sure where your faith lies; I recommend praying for those you have wronged. Since it is not realistic to speak directly to them. Ask God to bless them and that they may find it in their heart to forgive you, even if you never reconcile on this earth.
I don't have a clue what you think you did, or actually did. You can work through guilt. Sometimes that means leaving the social circles that connect you and the offended parties. Start over and see who you really are. Sometimes we react badly to bad relationships. It's entirely possible that you were pushed into hurting others, because your parents or friends had normalized hurting you. Isolating yourself can stop the negative cycles long enough for you to realize what was happening. The situation Jocko was talking about... He regrets not pushing back harder against his commanders. He says he spent too much time writing battle plans to satisfy them, and not enough time working directly with the teams. He blames himself for the confusion that led to a friendly fire incident. He was pressured into doing something he didn't believe was helpful. He thinks that caving to their pressure is what got those men injured. He would have risked his career progression... He did the best he could. He had no way to know that was the point he would later regret. There's no way to know what would have happened if he acted otherwise. Consider the same for yourself. You may have had a failure in character, morality, or profession. The more you try to prove to them you've grown and changed, the less genuine it can seem. At least you feel guilt. Some people do not, and they're narcissists or psychopaths like Donald Trump. That's why people idolize him. Trump gives people an excuse to dispose of guilt and remorse as though it were admirable and healthy.
How can I forgive myself? Yes. Jordan is right. I probably could if making that mistake gave me the wisdom to see it coming in the future and avoid it. Too bad that's not the case. I wish it was. How can I not dwell on it? Well... Jocko said not to. Problem solved. Jocko... That freaking guy... Don't dwell on it, bruh... Why did I watch this? I'm going to spend the rest of the night again trying to think of ways to go out that aren't self-initiated.
Well... Fighting crime is dangerous. You could risk your life trying to save someone from harm. I believe if you think of "going out" that way, you'll find your life can be better sacrificed in service to those who have been harmed by others. The helpless need heroes. Incidentally, that is why I never really liked Superman. He is basically immortal so it's not really a danger to his life. At least, that's how he is written. The multiverse allows for heroes to die 1000 times in 1000 universes. But, you have one life to live. You can find redemption. Heal yourself, and deliver that cure to others. Or, find ways to help people with as little recognition as possible. Find a homeless camp and leave food and tools for them. Make it your mission to do that at least one time before you go. And, do not go without a fight. There are too many people who need a friend, a helping hand, just one minute of trust or encouragement... You can do that much, even if you are wracked with guilt.
You forgive yourself your mindset-your thoughts, words and actions-because you are in the world, restrained and blinded by the humanhood. You struggle bravely to adopt a more unconditionally loving way to think, feel and respond to every experience-but while you remain the single moving force within your consciousness, the humanhood will eventually win.
Regret has plagued me more in my lifetime than any other psychological condition.
I feel that brother but we discovered this video and I really believe what both of these brilliant guys said especially Jordan talking about how we should assume our innocence first. You will get through it brother, me and you both.
Everyone deserves a second and third chance in life brother , everyone . I just hope u make the best out of those chances
“People have two lives, the second starts when you realize you have one.”
Awareness is step 1
''tyranny starts with presumption of of guilt'' , best thing ive heard in a while
#metoo
@@jamannk And what they are and have been doing to Trump.
@@ziraprod6090Trump impeaches himself and creates his own trouble on a daily basis.
@@ziraprod6090 youre right thats exactly what theyre doing to trump. Attacking a guy thats doing nothing to them.
In Christianity forgiveness is the basis our our faith but many people tend to forget the most important part of it is the forgiveness of one self. It all starts with you
So I just decided to forgive myself tonight. I never want to forget but I do want to forgive. It will take a while but I will keep on reminding myself. I hope that will work.
@@earlofsandwich7884 It will man! That's the first step, realizing that you'll forgive yourself!
Jocko don't quit. There aren't many extraordinary people in the world, but these two strive to awaken the extraordinary in everyone.
Two of the wisest minds of our generation in dialogue. Phenomenal to hear from them together
One of them in the top 100... the other - maybe in the top several hundred.
How about the wisest, Well Known, minds of our generation.
Destructive self talk is brutal to everyone who suffers from that. One of my rules is, never talk to myself in my head, in a way that I wouldn't speak to a friend. Helped me a lot!
This pop up at the right moment , i am in my 20s and i have lost hope. I have being in alot of troubles and i have done miskates that are punishing me every day .Today being my birthday i hope my life will change as i forgive myself.
Wish me happy birthday guys 😢
Have a very happy on me, brother. Your going to make it.
Mark A. Pick, PhD
No one tells you and they should, your 20's are one of the most difficult ages to process and survive. You are still maturing, your brain hasn't quite fully developed and honestly you don't know who you are or who you want to be. Or what you want to be. I promise you can make it I hope you do! You are here and that's a great start! Happy Birthday!!
I’m also in my 20’s and have mistakes that HAUNT me to my core and it makes me terrified for the future. It will be okay, it has to be. Despite your past, if you dedicate your life to being better, you deserve a good life. Forgive yourself and learn to love yourself, Happy Birthday.
Hey youngster- keep yer head up. It will get easier I promise you. The 20’s are tough for most everyone, myself included. As you get older, you’ll get wiser. With that comes the ability to discriminate what to get upset about and what not to. In the meantime try and make good decisions, and work HARD. And if you don’t exercise, start. It will change your entire outlook, and make you proud of yourself for doing it. Stay strong!
God bless dude Jesus loves you and has a plan for your life.
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
John 3:16
It's probably fate that these two people I admire touched this topic today. This is EXACTLY what I'm struggling with. Regret. I regret a mistake I made 11 years ago and I'm trying to get over it.
Amor Fati “the love of fate”.
Seek god! He will forgive you and so will you forgive yourself 🙏🏻
I feel so lucky to have access to insights and discussions like this that can really help understand things better and (hopefully) orient my life in a better way.
Same, we truly are blessed to have access to this information.
Have them with friends.
I tried my best for years- slept 4-6 hours a night for years to make things happen. It still wasn't good enough, but it was my best. That has to mean something. Its a hard thing to let go.
God knows I did. Only ashamed of the times I got so angry.
Don’t be a prisoner in your own mind. Accept your flaws, learn, move on. 👏
Everyone makes mistakes, but I think there needs to be an important caveat added to that, which is the ability to recognize a recurring pattern of malice. People should be afforded opportunities to redeem themselves, but there are times where permanently severing ties is the appropriate decision.
Exactly!
What about your own repeated mistakes? You can cut ties with someone who hurts you but since you are stuck with yourself, you have to learn to forgive yourself for your bad intent and have the courage to realign and to try to do better... again and again i guess.
@oaktreedialogues - you missed the key factor: a recurring pattern of malice. Repeated mistakes are not the same as repeated pattern of malice. When there’s malice - severing ties is the needed and healthy thing to do. Forgiveness doesn’t mean maintaining any kind of relationship with the intentional, malicious “offender.
The level of PTSD people in war have to go through is absolutely mortifying.
Jocko's words were what I needed to hear the most when I didn't want to go to the gym. After a whole year of consistent training, I'm not just more healthy physically, but armed with the discipline to pick up on other skills I wanted to try, but I wasn't ready to commit to.
This was brilliant. I think 70-80% of my PTSD is wrapped around decisions made by senior leaders and politicians. Along with some folks who had gone off the range for personal reasons or glory. From a very young age i was taught that what matters was did you give everything you had, then do an honest AAR and seek to learn and never stop learning. For a long time i had nightmares about a guy I did not kill, I know from every point of view that I made the right decision, but could not let go of the anger that he "got away with it"... because it was very personal I had forgotten that once you've done your best, the results, the endstate is not yours, outcomes belong to creation.
Another big one, that i have spent a lot of time working through with a buddy vet and therapists is a time my senses were 'off' and an explosion sent myself and another through a wall. I can still see, vividly, a piece of wood sticking out of his thigh. And I had always had a feeling about things, but not this time... well, the truth is I was exhausted beyond belief and pushing hard and was doing the best I could under the circumstances.
We all have these and more, and we also need to give ourselves credit for our successes- for me most of my proudest are when I stood up to higher, even if I lost. And I did once, under fire, actually say "Follow Me".. which still makes me smile. Peace, mjb
Thank you for this. I have been suffering PTSD and intense regret for over two years. I have flashbacks and have been unable to sleep for more than an hour a day. When my eyes can no longer stay open, I fall asleep around 6 am... only to awaken at 7 am with an image of a tragic and traumatic incident. This conversation has helped me. Again, thank you. 🙏
I hope you find recovery from this terrible ptsd.
I've heard EMDR therapy or somatic experiencing can help your body process what happened so that you can complete the stress cycle, allowing your body to start living in the present day again instead of the stressful past of that tragic event.
Forgive me Lord for the things I’ve done, and the things I’ve failed to do.
Very Powerful 🔥 🙏
Agree with this message and when people say you changed yes I hope so because it was necessary to succeed in life.
boy you can’t make this shit up. i needed this like TODAY… NEEDED this
Thank you!!! This was much needed to hear! Their is one thing extra I struggled with. Not sure if others did too. When you undergo psychological trauma and ALL of the men you respect in a spiritual/religious capacity are fighting it can also make your world feel it’s falling apart to the already unsteady terrain. My identity is in Christ but when Covid scared Pastors out of their pulpits. I was a scared woman left standing outside, but I was determined to get back in so to speak. It was terrifying. Men please never again let women feel forced to fight. God did not create us for for that type of warfare. Men lead with all tenacity, with all passion with all endurance and bravery. You all were called to defend our country and us women and children. God bless y’all.
You have made it perfectly, devastatingly clear, you do not want us.
You do the best with the Skills, Tools and abilities they have with the best information they have. If you look back and regret you've 1. Grown. Now release it because you can only move forward
This coming from a guy like Jocko Willnick means a lot.
My two favorite people!!! Well and Alex of course ❤
Lovely to see real content from JP again! And w/ Jocko no less. True GOATs
Speaks to me. Thanks, gentlemen.
This video is seriously what I needed to watch
This video is very helpful...i could have done with it a year or two ago
Thank you Jordan Peterson for pitching in with your point. A good one 💯
I know you have both strived. To be better than what is expected
Intent is really the cornerstone of this video. Because it's the intent that gives it the moral standing of deserving forgiveness. Even christians know that people who ask for forgiveness with the intent to get off the hook and go back to doing whatever it is they were doing will not be forgiven on judgement day
Excellent conversation about PTSD and mistakes in life.
Jockos bad boss clip still helps me to this day
"You want to learn, but not dwell" Jocko the man
Two legends
Great advice & workplan... thank you so much
At the end of the day the one who knows if you gave everything you have is you.
Jocko Willink's words remind me of Kurosawa's movie "The Tunnel".
I talked with another girl while i was in a relationship, my girlfriend was great, loyal, never wronged me, i ask the the other girl out, regrated almost immediately and ended the date before it even happened, my girlfriend found out after sometime and end it all, i thought of myself as a moral person at least on "i will never cheat", i really hate myself right now, i really hurt her, badly, i wish i was never born tbh.
eddit: i'm not gonna end myself but man i wish i had the balls
you feeling better?
When Satan reminds you of your past remind him of his future.
Facts!
What does that like, i didnt get it
@@SphericalShadessatan was a anjel once, he betrail god and became satan because of his egoism, and recetiment he and his demons atorment people until this day, but just, until the final days! After that he will burn forever ,he is detiny to comdemid.. he is alredy doom. And we are too if we sick his way or lissen to him insted of god.
99% of people half ass it and claim they did they're best. Very few people even try hard much less give their best effort.
Brilliant advice
Power duo
All of this sounds extremely logically and if we were completely rational robots this would work 100% of the time. The problems is as humans we do have emotions. That’s what’s hindering healing/letting go. So the question for me is, why are some people more able to deal with the emotions and others are just overwhelmed and get stuck? I think that’s the important question that could have tremendous benefit.
When you are broken and paralyzed with regret, the first step as part of your healing process might just be to reach out to God and ask for His forgiveness. Because He forgives everything if you ask for it. And if He can forgive you, then you can start to forgive yourself. You may never be the same person you were before, but He just may be leading you to be a better person.
The Humpty Dumpty effect...when you feel like no one on this earth can put you back together again. Only God can.
Amen
PTSD isn't primarily military related. I think Jordan knows this of course. But my only point is you cannot go back and think next time I'm in the grip of ptsd I will stop being ptsd traumatized. Best you go do is train the rest of your life..is when you are in that grip..remind your self that was then this was now its just that old war injury acting up. And it's family war history. I believe ptsd hurts the person the most. Forgive yourself for carrying ptsd
I feel I do the best I could but I can't help it when I start having health problems at times that are out of my control I learned to deal with my heart condition I have me having congestive heart faluire
I think you also have to be able to conceive a life where everybody is NOT just doomed. If you grew up around negative thought patterns (everything is hard, life is tough, what’s the point of anything), then you may sit in that doom and complain and not do anything to actively move forward. I think two preconditions of actively moving forward are (1) believing that you can or are capable and (2) believing things in life are capable of being good, and they’re capable of being good for you in particular. You may need to work on those beliefs before conceiving that you are capable of moving past this issue and are not doomed by any one single thing. Life keeps moving forward and you need to realise that it can for you too
Sometimes no matter how many times that’s been said, time will heal wounds. Peace of mind is on the way, just a little longer, each day is another day to learn and do better if the situation ever happens again. But it probably won’t happen again to us personally and unfortunately it’s going to happen to all future generations just as it did with us, so chill my dudes! It’s our time to relax now.
감사합니다 교수님!
영상으로 열심히 배우겠습니다!
1:57
다시 한번 죄송합니다.
다시 처음부터 시작하겠습니다.
전 바보입니다.
너무 어린 아기 였습니다.
감사합니다.
3:19
저는 몇일간 혼란 속에서 고민하다가, 뒤로 물러나 생각을 하여야 된다는 사실을 깨닫고, 혼란 속에서 저를 바로 잡았습니다.
그리고, 교수님께서 말씀하신 [글의 작성]으로 제가 잘못한 것이 무엇인지 파악을 하였습니다.
항상 본인과 진심 어린 대화는 도움이 되는 것 같습니다.
저를 만드신 분들은 모든 선배님들의 기도와 응원과 응원으로 가능하게 되었습니다.
다시 작성하지만, 모든 것은 제 잘못 입니다. 저는 너무 반성 중이며, 앞으로 속죄하며 살 예정 입니다.
마지막의 혼란 속에서 [성경]을 읽고, 보잘것 없는 한 명이라는 사실을 깨달으며, 저를 바로 잡을 수 있었습니다.
4:34 🎉🎉🎉
6:34
제 과거 속의 저의 모든 잘못들은, 제가 살아가면서 하나씩 속죄하며 풀어가겠습니다. 걱정 시켜 드린만큼, 더 열심히 노력하겠습니다.
감사합니다. 정말 한 마디 한 마디가 너무 현재 저의 상황에서 값집니다.
Thanks for honoring my freedom of speech.
For those in religion it's not a matter of forgiving your self. It's a matter of whether you can convince your self that "God" forgives you for being a sinner.
Atheists don't suffer from that self mental torture.
I can't speak for other Atheists, but I believe that if I am as kind to others as each circumstance allows, I can't do any better than my best.
What do you do when you know truly that you wouldn't really do anything different? Knowing in your heart that you would want to do it differently but that you wouldn't, and you wont do it in the future either? The way I feel now is the price for my actions.
It's like investing in stocks. One or two will surely beat inflation by a factor of two or more. But, to really get anything out of it you'd have to invest a majority of your wealth. You'd do it in a heartbeat if you somehow knew which one was right. It's the inverse of investing in Microsoft or Apple in the past. It's obvious to everyone now, but it wasn't back then.
We're all doing the best we can. Well, some do better than others. It seems you've got a solid foundation.
Would love to hear JP's psycho analysis of Jocko.
How do you properly assess the situation, and answer the question "did you do the best you could?" After the fact it's easy to see mistakes. Easy to see how to improve things.
You have to be really honest with yourself. Even your assessment of a situation can be flawed.
Personally I did as much research as I could stand. There were facts I could not confirm. In the end, I realized I was past my limits. I could have helped that woman had I known more about common pharmaceuticals. But, I spent my time learning engineering. Thus, I did the best I could to prepare for the problems I could see coming.
Had I studied psychology sooner, I might have been able to help my parents. But, I was too busy being a toddler.
Know your limits... Know that most of us are not fully prepared for every situation we face. Do not hold your future / current growth against your past self. I think that's why many people choose to stop learning. Learning can be extremely painful in that way.
true stuff. nice.
Rumor has it, Jocko wakes his watch up at 4:30 every morning…
I stopped being able to keep up adequate breathing to the point of gasping for air as I snap out of an altered state. I'm 40 and I've had 2 Ablations, a fake heart surgery aimed at curing a crippling guilt complex through the act of death by flaming arrow to the heart 😅
Perfect
The wisdom coming from Jordan and Jocko are truly spitting wisdom ... I know from my own 60 years personally.
I really f-ed up the first sentence ... Leaving as is to teach myself a lesson. Embarrassing a all hell.
@@briandonovan1584nah not embarrassing. It’s okay
@@briandonovan1584 forgive yourself bro
@@g-dawgbush6681 Cheers!
It would be one heck of an episode with Goggins
You forgive yourself your mindset-your thoughts, words and actions-because you are in the world, restrained and blinded by the humanhood. You struggle bravely to adopt a more unconditionally loving way to think, feel and respond to every experience-but while you remain the single moving force within your consciousness, the humanhood will eventually win.
You can't just say you are going to forgive yourself 2:00 but you want to set things right by following a process of laying out what went wrong, giving a defense, seeing what you did wrong, and then swearing not to repeat the mistake. It looks like you'll be just saying things though.
Forgive yourself and ask Christ for forgiveness. We are all flawed people by nature. We are all tempted and fall for sun in life. Learn about Christ and what He did for all of us. Accept His love and ask for forgiveness and watch as your life transforms. He will help you want to be a better person.
He just explained steps 8, 9, and 10 from 12 step fellowships.
Jocko for President of the United States.
I have a responsibility that I hold as above
G-D
What happens when you know you didn't do the best you could, while you were doing it, for 25 years? Some sins are unforgivable.
God can do all things, including forgiving you. Go to Him and He will show you the path to redemption. The guilt you experience will be your punishment. The change you make will be your salvation.
Same. How to forgive myself while knowing I did the opposite of what I wanted to do.
@@sebastienmorand2479It’s hard man but try your best to treat yourself as you would someone you love. All is possible with God 🙏🏼 you’ll get there
How should people live? What should I do now?
I just found out my cousin was in the hospital she has congestive heart faluire like I do it runs I feel in our family jeans my cousin was in hospital for congestive heart faluire and water in her heart and my blood pressure was 98 over 68 was very very low why I was very very sick for a while throwing up every thing I eat and drink and throwing up my blood pressure medicine and my antibiotics for stomach flu and pneumonia I am sad because how I have congestive heart faluire and how I feel short out of breath all the time because my heart condition I have me having congestive heart faluire
Does the same process of assessing one’s self judgment and forming a corrective experience apply for someone who did something horrible as a reaction to trauma? In van der bolks book on trauma he talks about a Vietnam vet who after seeing his squad all killed in front of him went to a town, killed a bunch of innocent people including children, and raped a women. I don’t meant to be crude but it is difficult to think about how this process would apply to that man.
It is miraculous everyone doesn't react the same way
Jockos jaw could break stone.
So what?
@@greebo7857 so he can break stone with his jaw silly
@greebo7857 What kind of reply are you expecting here lol
Jockos head is stone
@@StatueofGuyThinking I think someone being able to laugh at something is more mature than someone who can't find humor even in serious situations. I'd much rather laugh than not laugh. No ill intentions.
Try having OCD and having mistakes/regret.
Jocko 🥂
I enjoy listening to and learning from both of these men. But Dr. Peterson was on a different level from Jocko.
Jocko and his philosophy are useful on a surface level. But Dr P just runs so deep.
Jordan. You will not go to hell
I had that realization 5 years ago. What helped me get out of my own head was using a voice recorder. It's a role playing thing. Imagine that you can send the data card back in time for your younger self to hear.
Or, tell your future self what you really feel. You might live with regret for decades. You'll know if you were lying.
I said a lot of the same things. I did the best I could with the information I had, the education, the friends, the money... If I knew what way to go, the things to say, the places to be, that would have given my future self the life he wanted... I would have done it. He knows that, even if I don't. The life he deserves is the one I'm giving him.
It takes time, patience, and humility to realize who you will become... Haha.
Unfortunately when I hear people say they made a mistake is that they mean is they didn't like the outcome. (I am referring to non battle situations here) It's not their behavior they have issues with but that their actions didn't produce the desired result. I think I need to be around better people. 😂
Could I add "You make the best (most honest) decision that you can, with the information that you have at that time AND with the experience you have gained up until that time"? Next time you have a little more experience in your arsenal to draw from.
Gooooood damn
I really need advice that isn’t interrupted every 2 minutes by a fuggin commercial.
“And if you want to learn to let go you should ……..have you seen the pillow cube?”
I just need help not a damn pillow.
Yeah…forget about it!
I've been kicking the s*it out of myself since early '21 after being pressured into getting the bivalent V. Have spent a ton of money on doctors, blood tests and supplements. I was reluctant from the get go, but after being pulled aside for the 4th time, I gave in like a bi*ch. Now I have severe tinnitus and an elevated IgG4 level. I feel doomed and am now changing careers in my 30's. I'll never work for another liberal owned business again. If I had known how dangerous it was, I would've quit. I would've been willing to lose my home, if it came down to that.
Why are we harder on ourselves than others? I am anyway.
"If what you did was so horrible then you should never be let off the hook. If that's your criteria for judgment then everybody is doomed."
Curious if Peterson believes this still stands in the corner cases. Stalin, Mao, Hitler? Could they ever be let off the hook?
Both of these men should be in politics, but they’re too smart to be politicians.
Poly tician = liar professional
Telaat komen is geen misdrijf. Je kan veel ergere dingen doen die Wrong zijn, mistakes. Iemand anders schade aan doen. Of al je geld vergokken
Our next SecDef.
“Jesus - reveal to me - who do I need to forgive?”
I've been in plently of embarrassing, awkward situations. But I don't need forgiveness, because I did nothing wrong.
I'm always aimed toward resolution. I'd just like to get much better at it. For that I need some kindling)
... everyone makes unforgivable mistakes. Wow .... !
Hrakthy sende of pride (pide)
Try it
There is nothing that we can do to save ourselves!
We are broken and we are useless.
But God, who knows us, can use broken vessels like us to perform His will!
If you feel useless, like I do most of the time, you need to know that you are special!
As are we all!
God cannot "save" you, since, in rebelliousness and stubbornness, you will continue to make the same earthbound mistakes till the end of time-thus creating your own sicknesses and miseries.
Those who have insight and understanding will recognize that Christ has RETURNED... explaining WHY he taught the principles of life-which people now need so urgently to save themselves and the planet from wholesale disaster.
There will be those who will receive the TRUTH with joy, since in their soul, they have known that beyond the religions of the world has been TRUTH-the REALITY of existence. These are the people who will prosper and will eventually save the world from self-annihilation.
You cannot ignore the problems inherent in your individualized existence and believe that God will "save" you from them.
Your only hope of a final escape, of stepping off the treadmill of human experience, is to recognize and acknowledge them and then work minute-by-minute to transcend them and eventually merge, in purity of mind, heart and action, and become "one" with UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
You didn't even know who I was talking about
so ppowerful! Many people are so hard on themselves its no wonder we face so many criticisms of our modern society. Peterson said that idea I just said with astonishing accuracy!
You can't atone by committing suicide, in fact it is another sin. The best you can do is restitution and repentance and the rest comes from God. One issue not discussed here it things people do that are not "accidents" but deliberate wrong decisions or in other words, they chose sin over righteousness.
But… if someone commits an incredibly evil act then how can one reconcile forgiveness within themselves? Is evil just a form of ignorance then?
Hypothetically, do you mean if person A commits an evil act, how can person A forgive themselves? Or, how can their victim forgive them?
@@Ali-e5h1b both lol
You forgive yourself/others your/their mindset-your/their thoughts, words and actions-because you/they are in the world, restrained and blinded by the humanhood. People struggle bravely to adopt a more unconditionally loving way to think, feel and respond to every experience-but while people remain the single moving force within their consciousness, the humanhood will eventually win.
As for forgiveness:
Real/true forgiveness is the state of understanding yourself/others and your/their reasons for your/their behavior so clearly that you/they can say in all honesty-there is nothing to forgive.
If I could fix the problems I caused, I would.
But nothing I can do will solve the problem.
It's best if I just suffer in silence.
Anything I do will just disturb the lives of people that I have hurt, and will not make me any less guilty.
It's best if I suffer alone.
No one cares about me anyway.
Not sure where your faith lies; I recommend praying for those you have wronged. Since it is not realistic to speak directly to them. Ask God to bless them and that they may find it in their heart to forgive you, even if you never reconcile on this earth.
I don't have a clue what you think you did, or actually did.
You can work through guilt. Sometimes that means leaving the social circles that connect you and the offended parties. Start over and see who you really are. Sometimes we react badly to bad relationships.
It's entirely possible that you were pushed into hurting others, because your parents or friends had normalized hurting you.
Isolating yourself can stop the negative cycles long enough for you to realize what was happening.
The situation Jocko was talking about... He regrets not pushing back harder against his commanders. He says he spent too much time writing battle plans to satisfy them, and not enough time working directly with the teams. He blames himself for the confusion that led to a friendly fire incident. He was pressured into doing something he didn't believe was helpful. He thinks that caving to their pressure is what got those men injured. He would have risked his career progression... He did the best he could. He had no way to know that was the point he would later regret. There's no way to know what would have happened if he acted otherwise.
Consider the same for yourself. You may have had a failure in character, morality, or profession. The more you try to prove to them you've grown and changed, the less genuine it can seem. At least you feel guilt. Some people do not, and they're narcissists or psychopaths like Donald Trump. That's why people idolize him. Trump gives people an excuse to dispose of guilt and remorse as though it were admirable and healthy.
@@gelliebeane6789
This has been done!
God grants mercy to those who ask!
Thank you for your response!
@jacob.tudragens Amen, yes He does. You're welcome!
I don’t even believe in jebus
Isn't this the "Good" speech?
How can I forgive myself? Yes. Jordan is right. I probably could if making that mistake gave me the wisdom to see it coming in the future and avoid it. Too bad that's not the case. I wish it was.
How can I not dwell on it? Well... Jocko said not to. Problem solved. Jocko... That freaking guy... Don't dwell on it, bruh...
Why did I watch this? I'm going to spend the rest of the night again trying to think of ways to go out that aren't self-initiated.
Well... Fighting crime is dangerous. You could risk your life trying to save someone from harm.
I believe if you think of "going out" that way, you'll find your life can be better sacrificed in service to those who have been harmed by others. The helpless need heroes.
Incidentally, that is why I never really liked Superman. He is basically immortal so it's not really a danger to his life. At least, that's how he is written. The multiverse allows for heroes to die 1000 times in 1000 universes.
But, you have one life to live. You can find redemption. Heal yourself, and deliver that cure to others. Or, find ways to help people with as little recognition as possible. Find a homeless camp and leave food and tools for them. Make it your mission to do that at least one time before you go. And, do not go without a fight. There are too many people who need a friend, a helping hand, just one minute of trust or encouragement... You can do that much, even if you are wracked with guilt.
You forgive yourself your mindset-your thoughts, words and actions-because you are in the world, restrained and blinded by the humanhood. You struggle bravely to adopt a more unconditionally loving way to think, feel and respond to every experience-but while you remain the single moving force within your consciousness, the humanhood will eventually win.
Get a psychologist and psychiatrist. Try ERP for pure rumination OCD. If you're thinking about how to die, that's not how normal humans think.
Jordan Peterson i dont think its good to interrupt your guests, its sometimes impossible to watch your podcasts