Jordan. I grew up over the last 5 years watching lectures like these. You are one of the main contributors to the success in my life. Growing up without a stable father and a single mother was tough enough but I made it through well because of good men. *Men like you make up for the big gaping whole in the lives of people without a father.* I can’t thank you enough.
@@JeremyBrown-ip8qo keep grinding, brother! I don’t know you but myself and legions of people are proud of you. Keep aiming upward. I’d wish you the best but you’re on the path to discovering that in yourself so you don’t need my praise!
@@ジェフリーダーマー Then you aren't paying attention. Lol. No universe is worth jordan peterson. Some are merely better for his presence. Stop raising him up to a God among people... literally, that is one of his main lessons.
there is no reason to watch his newer stuff, or even read his books. He has dozens of full length Toronto psychology lectures to watch, and they're all you ever need. i watched them ALL back in 2017 multiple times and it was life changing, and nothing he's said since then is better in any way shape or form, imo
A long time ago, I fell in love with this woman who was my friend. We would pray together go to bible studies, etc. One time I invited her over for dinner and I told her how I felt, in my mind it was true love the greatest love I had ever for any woman before her. She did not reciprocate, about a year or two later she was married, and I heard of an incident, on her honeymoon, she angrily cursed the waiter because of bad service. At that very moment I realized I had fallen in love with a Fictional character a fantasy, the person I was in love with would have never done that. On the positive side it helped me get over her much faster, because I realized she never existed.
I just broke up with my girlfriend or I should say she broke up with me. We weren’t dating for a super long time or anything but the person she put out front was different than when you got to know her on a personal level. It’s hard because all I can remember is the good times but forget that every week or two she’d get upset about the silliest things and not communicate with me just simmer and say she was angry. Lots of things but yeah I get it.
Was blindsided by a divorce from a cheating wife, apparently involved in a 3 year affair. Was told right before Christmas. If it weren't for Dr. Peterson and his insights on meaning, purpose, and helping those who can no longer see any legitimate reason to continue on...I wouldn't be commenting right now. I'm not looking for sympathy or affirmation, just stating that he is making a difference in peoples lives.
@Thor-o1v no, fortunately. In Pennsylvania, we have a law that if marital misconduct occurs (which infidelity qualifies for) , she couldn't legally seek alimony. I was only on the hook for child support for my two sons.
I feel you. I hope everything works out for you. I hope you continue living and not give up on finding the suitable one (Gen 1:28)...this is a world where honest people were being disrespected...but pls continue moving forward...
It was truly a travesty when they pulled his license... Not that it will stop him from helping people however he can, within the confines of the law. And there are plenty of places basically standing in line to issue him one of their own if he moves there (from my understanding, anyway). However, I could be wrong about that last part. But I'm pretty sure there has been more than one to offer to do so.
@@vodkacannon The man truly saved my life in 2022. I could never possibly thank him enough. However, there's not much that I wouldn't give to actually meet him to tell him as much. Even though he gets a similar story constantly on the street.
I dont think that his latest content must be as good as this one is. People say that he has fallen to the end of right wing. I think that this was his prime thats why his delivery was good.
@@01_abhijeet49People say a lot of bullshit, and you're truly eager to eat it all up apparently. They've been basically calling him a Hitler reincarnation since day one and not once has he done or said anything that would prove this ridiculous and at the same time most serious of accusations, thrown at him so casually, to be anything but disgusting lies and blatant slander. There are, you know, easier ways of saying 'I'm so dumb, I can't be helped' than trying to paint Dr. Jordan Peterson a far-right figure.
7:32 There’s a great honour in serving people in their helpless last season of life. Obviously easier if they’re old, long suffering and when there’s no familial tie to the person. Cushioning that blow, caring, led by love and giving them comfort when fear and anxiety could be in the air instead. A listening ear. A pseudo forgiving ear to allow their spirit to rest and not be tormented by their wrong doings or regrets. A reassurance to the grieving family. It’s all any of us can hope for when our turn comes around.
Dreams and fantasy is crucial for Artists. But I agree that falling in love with your creation is madness. There's a difference in loving your creations and falling in love. I reserve the latter for a special person.
Well remember Socrates (in Plato) taught about that love that disregards sex, and works together toward a common creative goal, and he (they) talk of that creation being some sort of 'child'.
@ridethelapras I can tell you that women are also supposed to love their babies, anyway - No need to fall in love with your own child. That would just be weird
@ That’s… not what I meant. I meant when two people love each other, disregarding sex, and make a creation together (e.g. an album), non-human even. I don’t think it’s wrong to love what you create (and I am specifically talking about things like music and other works of art). Creating together brings people together.
I want to be useful, I want to be tough. But, the closer I get to the reality, the more I realize that I'm preparing to be absolutely crushed, pummeled and nearly destroyed. I don't know how we've made it this far with that burden. It's an ongoing process and struggle for me.
Remember that you don't have to be useful to everyone, just those that are worth being useful to. The few who are worth serving will be supportive and make sure that you aren't destroyed in your service to them.
You need more than bullets to succeed. No material strategy will be enough even when pushed to its limits wisely. The only way to save yourself is to draw your path of hope to the future. You must learn to take risks for positivity. It’s not brave to only sulk negatively.
You are all of those things all of the time, it's just our perception of how we view ourselves and the impact we have is usually shaded by the doubt and negative thoughts and feelings.if you can be honest with yourself about trying your best to be those things, regardless of outcome,you will be those things ,even when you fail or fall short.life is tough , but the tough things in life are what make you a better person.being optimistically pessimistic....seems to make my life more surprising and interesting and generally more positive than not .....also ,maybe I'm just great at lying to myself😅
Reality's a hell of a challenge, but the more you attempt to approach it, the more familiar you'll get with the problem, don't give up, its maybe all thats required
@@michaelslawrence1 if lying to ourselves can help us feel better and perform better. Why not lie to ourselves when it’s making the path to positivity and wellness easier
Man, this is the story of the last 2 years of my life. 2 years ago, I fell in love with a girl I met. I’ve thought about her almost everyday since. I even dreamt about her last night as I write this. We only dated a few months before she ended things. One of the reason was I wasn’t seeing her for her, I had an image of her in my mind that I was in love with. Only now am I really understanding what I did wrong. I’d give so much to go back, and get to know the real her.
If this makes you feel better I fell in love with a girl I had seen like 4 times and never even kissed her. And still knowing I was just obsessed with the ideal and not with her I had to grief her. I hadn't felt so pathetic in a lot of time. But in the end I'm glad I can learn from that experience
Mr. Peterson, I usually don’t like to participate online, but I find myself doing it again under one of your lectures. I just wanted you to know that I started working in a funeral house approximately two years ago. I lost my father when I was nine. Death became a lot more intriguing since then, with all its transformative aspects. No matter how many skins I felt under mine where all heat was gone, it is still a challenge to grasp how bodies so real to the touch can no longer be inhabited by anyone. My father didn’t want me to witness his burial, so my mother kept his word and his ashes were placed in our family grave while I was asleep during a cold afternoon of February. I now make amend one day at a time by helping others to stand where I could not. Thank you for sometimes giving me the slaps my father would have if he could. Your voice has been one of the few paternal figures I missed. If you read this and begin to take it too personal, please don’t. The part you played in my life mustn’t be a burden nor bring you to tears in any case, only at peace for someone who appreciates who you are. Gratitude from France, Math.
The other caution is seeing what you think/ hope/ believe is POTENTIAL. We can get hooked on it. Be convinced it's there. Keep working on it. But then it doesn't flesh out. I think potential and fantasy are related
Absolutely. You should never date someone for their potential. Sure you want their potential to be great but you should accept that if this is who they are for the long term, then you’re okay with that. If you keep thinking of their potential, you won’t be authentic with them.
God I would have loved to have had a professor like Peterson. Hard to believe they trashed his career over their left wing ideology. In the end he came out on top.
Yes, but … he absolutely seems to have taken on a great deal more anger and bitterness. That might be expected given the battles he had to fight. And continues to fight.
I had to learn to handle seeing dead people. I work as an EMT and one of my first calls was for someone who the Police needed to confirm that someone was dead. It was very mind opening, and made me appreciate how I was brought up. I put it into context by knowing that death is a common thing, and that God has a plan for everything.
The mind wants to want more than it wants to have. Accept this truth and it becomes so much easier to disregard its fantasies as nothing more than the illusions they are.
Fantasy keeps you going sometimes. I know what reality is, but i like to have a reason to keep going, so I will ignore harsh reality so I can enjoy my life as it is. it makes life good even when its bad.
Seeing this after a breakup where I did exactly what the title warns against: "Don't Fall In Love With A Fantasy". Thankfully through God I have been mourning appropriately and mostly in the right way. Dr. Jordan Peterson is a wealth of knowledge and wisdom and he explained what I made the mistake of doing, which is the main part of why it was not going to work out.
3:03 bro missed the opportunity to say "We fell in love with the fantasy of privacy online...And maybe it _could_ become a reality! With Express VPN....."
hi dr peterson, much love and appreciation from IRAN, hope best for you and family , the world is proud to having you, you have no idea how much my anxiety has become better by following your youtube . thanks a loooot
I didn’t fall in love with a fantasy although I will admit I have fantasized about her many many times. She is real and I also know she is not perfect but she is perfect for me -or so I thought. I honestly believe she cared once upon a time but she certainly does not care now. My main problem is being loyal -though Im proud of that - and having a never quit attitude until its literally dead and buried. I am almost able there as she does mot even know Im still alive and does not acknowledge me/anything I say or do. Years ago I would have already forgotten her and not even tried to resolve it but I thought she was HOME. I thought she was destiny. I thought she was the ONE. I was soooooo wrong. I think she actually enjoys hurting me which is extremely painful but also helpful in reaching the end of it. I am close. So close. Perhaps I can revisit this in 2025 and just say -its over. Have a great day whoever may read this.
You have the strength to break free from your bondage, I did it you can do it too. It's been 6 months now I took back my freedom from her and I can you tell life is beautiful. Get out, make connections, meets new people build genuine connection and you will see how lovely your life will be again. You are the prize 🏆 king 👑❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️. I love you bro
I can't wait to watch this! We often fall in love with fantasy and miss out on the even more exhilarating reality of it all. Even mid experience, we can be so distracted by what the experience could be likened to and not enough by what it actually looks and feels like and how we are being influenced by it and how we are influencing it. We have to have a relationship with reality. We interface with it. We are the nexus between imagination and the physical world and it is our jobs to keep a healthy relationship with reality. You can call reality God if that makes it easier or vice versa. Work with it. The reality in front of your face wants you to step into the game and stop hypothesizing from the sidelines in endless musings and procrastinations. I am moreso preaching at myself at this point but you get the point if you have read me this far.
God i dont know how some of these students aren't fully locked in. On the laptop or writing or finishing up another course... I'd have loved to have this man as a teacher or psychologist. As im sure everyone watching would, but i have fantasys about finding the perfect man and being with him forever. He is that man. My man. My perfect little cupcake.
"Do you want to be useful in the face of tragedy, or do you want to be pathetic?" Good question. Most will probably answer honestly, but most of those will probably not succeed. Here's to hoping not all of us fail.
About 3 years ago I came to your videos in desperate need of help and I will never forget how much it helped me and by proxy now the people around me who I am finally able to take care of. This video reminded me of that and I keenly listened to it, just for my nostalgia to be rudely disrupted by an overly loud sponsorship Ad. It's fine for me as I don't need these videos anymore and to the Dr. Peterson of the past I am eternally thankful. But I think this is my Last time checking on this channel, maybe I am wrong or maybe I cannot stand a sellout. There could also be more to this. Thanks for everything tho
You are a hipocrite he helped you you said you where desperate that you really needed help many of his lectures are free do you know what he cost is if you whant help from a clinical psychologist to help you it can cost 100$ even more pr hour and jorden is one of the best in his field the way you can help him watching the Ads on TH-cam we all have to make money some How and many Ads you can skip after 5 seconds if you dont want to see them and the worst part about is you whoud do the same if you where in his situation you live in a fantasy like the video you Just watched
There is something about these old school lectures that just hit different. If he can figure out what it is and implement it on his new videos, that would be really helpful for the new audience.
Dr. Peterson is my biggest idol of them all. Without a single doubt in my mind. It’s crazy to me that a person on the internet and in books that I read (antidote to chaos is my favorite book of all time), is at this point in my life more than my father than my actual biological father. It saddens me deeply but then again I’m very grateful for at least my internet “dad”. I hope he wouldn’t mind me calling him that way if he saw this. Anyway, thank you for everything
It’s amazing how many people create a fantasy in their minds and are never satisfied with anything less. They’re denying what they need to grow right off the bat. In hindsight we rarely know or understand what we need until we take a leap of faith in each other.
I frequently dissociate this escape my current situation and it has me fantasizing about the potential of something false from 11 years ago. That’s how bad fantasy can be.
and your mind believes you could have been great only if you had made the right decisions. And you are only in this mess because you did this and this. When mess is just the real life. Yes, life could have been better but in the hindsight everything looks easy.
I agree with you. I've always been one that had trouble with fantasy, but I find myself allowing me to day dream a little bit here and there I even flirt with my very short lived fantasy sometimes it don't last long it can't because of the little knowledge I have lol. But I feel like I don't have much time left on this planet and it's all hell anyway,so I think that's why I have these moments of being childish. Thank u for sharing all ur wonderful knowledge. U help people and I no it's true .😊😊😊
We've done that, the happily ever after !!! Even though there was sort of that fantasy projection upon first meeting, she thought that's the handsomest man I ever laid eyes on. I thought damn if I was only 20 years younger !!! The next 2 years went from acquaintance to friend before the romance began. By time that happened most of the fantasy had been replaced with reality, but still some learning and heartache along the way
It was terrific to know so clearly about the Anima and Animus almost everyone has, and how they superimpose their own expectations onto the reality. I think every human being must be susceptible to this particular flaw. Thus, would it be a good idea to put your whole life, past and present on to a neutral video and expect the other party to draw their inferences from these ... A very high IQ person most probably would be able to do so, so the best of good luck to them. 🐬🌸🐬 I agree that the death of a parent is a growing up, that we must stand strong and carry on with strength, perception and peace at such a time. Again, a very strong person would be able to sail through despite their personal loss. Trusting that the person has gone back to his Maker is the only thing which would help. I cannot understand folks who are conditioned to think of a demise of one's closest as a natural inevitability. Thank you, Dr Jordan, for giving us such thought provoking videos, and a platform to record our own personal view. It is great. Lol. 🐬🌸🐬🌸🐬
Its so funny because i met this girl talked with her for 1 minutes, but made fantasies about her whole personality and I thought man she is perfect, ofc she is I created her by knowing what I mostly like :D
That makes sense considering that I have all the memories of another life quite like this one, where I created this Universe because everyone that originally lived with me died because instead of accepting who I am and what I need, they decided I should try to explain to them :P
I know I am not going back to my ex wife and what my future holds is up to me and I will never forget what happened in my marriage, and in the last year.
Asking your friends for insight can help you with this. I went on one date with this girl and I thought she was the one. I forget my metric but I was like she checked it off and so that’s it. I told my friend and he was like really dude? Just based on that? I didn’t marry this girl….took me a few more years to mature before I found the one. We just added one to our family.
Interesting how you mentioned people who work in palliative care and those who are morticians are 'tough'. I don't see it that way. If I was to pursue a career in those careers at this stage of my life, I could handle it but I wouldn't consider myself 'tough' because I'm spiritual and I'd be glad that those patients/clients are leaving prison planet matrix Earth and going to someplace better. Peace is what we need and it sure will never be on Earth.
Aww the OG Jordan! Love his lectures. They took away his license and it seems as though he’s gotten crazy. Or just old! Lots of love either way grandpa.
Finally.. something about creativity / openess. My strongestt aspect of the Big 5. I dont know if i am intelligent, but i know damn well that i scold myself and my world harshly on an hourly basis. I am super lazy though to begin stuff when i dont see the immediate benefit from it. Anyway.. "you got to be high in openess to like my lectures, because i jump from topic to topic" indeed he does. The title of the video is about 2 minutes of the the content. Of course the rest is interesting, but it simply has nothing to do with the topic of the video.
Sometimes I miss Douglas Adams: "Ford, can't we just lay on our sides for a while?" I left my motherland 18 years ago, traveled the world. Been to Africa, Asia, most of the Arab Middle East, Eastern Europe, and am now living in Russia. You know, I am tired. I have been beaten up, shot, had stomach cancer, been married and divorced. Now I am in Russia. Been here 2 years, and in my opinion it is the best country in the world. I am willing to discuss this.
Why is he doing the seminar in Charles Luther Burtons classroom 😅😁 Whenever I feel down, I listen to Dr. Peterson and just feel great afterwards! It really makes my day ❤
No shit, you are so right!! I fell in love with what I thought was a beautiful man with a beautiful mind only he wasn't... what a weird creep. I never spent enough time with him... he wasn't available. Lesson learned!
I was useful in the face of death. I handled my father's funeral. I was the only one that could do it. I don't like to be that cold I wish sometimes I can feel more, I'm always the one that needs to be the strong one, Is exhausting
Half of them are there to do the bare minimum to pass in order to become bare minimum useless psychologists/mental health "professionals". Not much passion detected.
So far, my fantasy has been a woman who works a job and is not irresponsible with money, has never cheated or slept around alot, and doesn't expect it to be all give on my part and all take on hers. Someone open and honest with herself, and me. Too much to ask nowadays.
Does not surprising that it's inevitable development, people tried to win something at life and realised that's that require something high-level later they found war with themselves and found that lag with their older versions is too huge to handle that it's having not fight but fall in love, so that is kinda weird timeline.. with wonders from nature..
Jordan. I grew up over the last 5 years watching lectures like these. You are one of the main contributors to the success in my life. Growing up without a stable father and a single mother was tough enough but I made it through well because of good men. *Men like you make up for the big gaping whole in the lives of people without a father.* I can’t thank you enough.
@@JeremyBrown-ip8qo keep grinding, brother! I don’t know you but myself and legions of people are proud of you. Keep aiming upward.
I’d wish you the best but you’re on the path to discovering that in yourself so you don’t need my praise!
Protect this man at all costs!!
@@ジェフリーダーマー
Then you aren't paying attention. Lol. No universe is worth jordan peterson. Some are merely better for his presence. Stop raising him up to a God among people... literally, that is one of his main lessons.
@@nicewhenearnedrudemostlyel489 I’m only showing him appreciation. you’re right he’s not God.
I don't see him as a God. I see him as a man who makes sense. I respect his views.❤@@nicewhenearnedrudemostlyel489
I love old-school Jordan. He connects to people with his love of stories and of telling them.
He was great
New one is a bit unhinged, after his addiction that is
there is no reason to watch his newer stuff, or even read his books. He has dozens of full length Toronto psychology lectures to watch, and they're all you ever need. i watched them ALL back in 2017 multiple times and it was life changing, and nothing he's said since then is better in any way shape or form, imo
I wish he never blew up to the degree that he did.
@@JWStreeter I'm thoroughly enjoying his new book. But I agree with your general sentiment.
A long time ago, I fell in love with this woman who was my friend. We would pray together go to bible studies, etc. One time I invited her over for dinner and I told her how I felt, in my mind it was true love the greatest love I had ever for any woman before her. She did not reciprocate, about a year or two later she was married, and I heard of an incident, on her honeymoon, she angrily cursed the waiter because of bad service.
At that very moment I realized I had fallen in love with a Fictional character a fantasy, the person I was in love with would have never done that. On the positive side it helped me get over her much faster, because I realized she never existed.
Wow... Deep words. Something similar happened to me.
Well said. ❤
@@henry23z Please tell me, I wanna hear it.
You weren’t still pining for her a year or two later, were you?
I just broke up with my girlfriend or I should say she broke up with me. We weren’t dating for a super long time or anything but the person she put out front was different than when you got to know her on a personal level. It’s hard because all I can remember is the good times but forget that every week or two she’d get upset about the silliest things and not communicate with me just simmer and say she was angry. Lots of things but yeah I get it.
imagine how cool and special it would have been to be in Jordan Peterson's class. So well spoken, well thought, gets you thinking
i wonder if they know they got someone special at the time.
Was blindsided by a divorce from a cheating wife, apparently involved in a 3 year affair. Was told right before Christmas. If it weren't for Dr. Peterson and his insights on meaning, purpose, and helping those who can no longer see any legitimate reason to continue on...I wouldn't be commenting right now. I'm not looking for sympathy or affirmation, just stating that he is making a difference in peoples lives.
Lose half your stuff?
@Thor-o1v no, fortunately. In Pennsylvania, we have a law that if marital misconduct occurs (which infidelity qualifies for) , she couldn't legally seek alimony. I was only on the hook for child support for my two sons.
Sorry to hear that brother. Hope this Christmas is a good one
Same
I feel you. I hope everything works out for you. I hope you continue living and not give up on finding the suitable one (Gen 1:28)...this is a world where honest people were being disrespected...but pls continue moving forward...
I can’t believe they took away this man’s clinical license.
Ohhhh, don't be surprised by that in Canada. It's not like there's any interest in helping people. Perpetual patients is the true goal. 😕
It was truly a travesty when they pulled his license... Not that it will stop him from helping people however he can, within the confines of the law. And there are plenty of places basically standing in line to issue him one of their own if he moves there (from my understanding, anyway). However, I could be wrong about that last part. But I'm pretty sure there has been more than one to offer to do so.
@ I know, he helped so many people.
@@vodkacannon The man truly saved my life in 2022. I could never possibly thank him enough. However, there's not much that I wouldn't give to actually meet him to tell him as much. Even though he gets a similar story constantly on the street.
They tried, but thankfully it is difficult to punish Peterson for telling the truth. The man has very solid integrity.
I miss this kind of content from Jordan, and I want more
Second this.
I dont think that his latest content must be as good as this one is. People say that he has fallen to the end of right wing.
I think that this was his prime thats why his delivery was good.
@@01_abhijeet49 Maybe because of the change in audience. This clip is from when he was a lecturer, talking to students mostly.
@@01_abhijeet49People say a lot of bullshit, and you're truly eager to eat it all up apparently. They've been basically calling him a Hitler reincarnation since day one and not once has he done or said anything that would prove this ridiculous and at the same time most serious of accusations, thrown at him so casually, to be anything but disgusting lies and blatant slander. There are, you know, easier ways of saying 'I'm so dumb, I can't be helped' than trying to paint Dr. Jordan Peterson a far-right figure.
He really should have stuck to his special team instead of Going into politics for the money
7:32 There’s a great honour in serving people in their helpless last season of life. Obviously easier if they’re old, long suffering and when there’s no familial tie to the person.
Cushioning that blow, caring, led by love and giving them comfort when fear and anxiety could be in the air instead.
A listening ear. A pseudo forgiving ear to allow their spirit to rest and not be tormented by their wrong doings or regrets.
A reassurance to the grieving family.
It’s all any of us can hope for when our turn comes around.
Yes, well said.
Dreams and fantasy is crucial for Artists. But I agree that falling in love with your creation is madness.
There's a difference in loving your creations and falling in love.
I reserve the latter for a special person.
Well remember Socrates (in Plato) taught about that love that disregards sex, and works together toward a common creative goal, and he (they) talk of that creation being some sort of 'child'.
@ridethelapras I can tell you that women are also supposed to love their babies, anyway - No need to fall in love with your own child. That would just be weird
@ That’s… not what I meant. I meant when two people love each other, disregarding sex, and make a creation together (e.g. an album), non-human even. I don’t think it’s wrong to love what you create (and I am specifically talking about things like music and other works of art). Creating together brings people together.
Reserve it for God
Ok
I want to be useful, I want to be tough. But, the closer I get to the reality, the more I realize that I'm preparing to be absolutely crushed, pummeled and nearly destroyed. I don't know how we've made it this far with that burden. It's an ongoing process and struggle for me.
Remember that you don't have to be useful to everyone, just those that are worth being useful to. The few who are worth serving will be supportive and make sure that you aren't destroyed in your service to them.
You need more than bullets to succeed. No material strategy will be enough even when pushed to its limits wisely. The only way to save yourself is to draw your path of hope to the future. You must learn to take risks for positivity. It’s not brave to only sulk negatively.
You are all of those things all of the time, it's just our perception of how we view ourselves and the impact we have is usually shaded by the doubt and negative thoughts and feelings.if you can be honest with yourself about trying your best to be those things, regardless of outcome,you will be those things ,even when you fail or fall short.life is tough , but the tough things in life are what make you a better person.being optimistically pessimistic....seems to make my life more surprising and interesting and generally more positive than not .....also ,maybe I'm just great at lying to myself😅
Reality's a hell of a challenge, but the more you attempt to approach it, the more familiar you'll get with the problem, don't give up, its maybe all thats required
@@michaelslawrence1 if lying to ourselves can help us feel better and perform better. Why not lie to ourselves when it’s making the path to positivity and wellness easier
Man, this is the story of the last 2 years of my life.
2 years ago, I fell in love with a girl I met. I’ve thought about her almost everyday since. I even dreamt about her last night as I write this.
We only dated a few months before she ended things. One of the reason was I wasn’t seeing her for her, I had an image of her in my mind that I was in love with. Only now am
I really understanding what I did wrong. I’d give so much to go back, and get to know the real her.
If this makes you feel better I fell in love with a girl I had seen like 4 times and never even kissed her. And still knowing I was just obsessed with the ideal and not with her I had to grief her. I hadn't felt so pathetic in a lot of time. But in the end I'm glad I can learn from that experience
Mr. Peterson,
I usually don’t like to participate online, but I find myself doing it again under one of your lectures. I just wanted you to know that I started working in a funeral house approximately two years ago.
I lost my father when I was nine. Death became a lot more intriguing since then, with all its transformative aspects. No matter how many skins I felt under mine where all heat was gone, it is still a challenge to grasp how bodies so real to the touch can no longer be inhabited by anyone. My father didn’t want me to witness his burial, so my mother kept his word and his ashes were placed in our family grave while I was asleep during a cold afternoon of February. I now make amend one day at a time by helping others to stand where I could not.
Thank you for sometimes giving me the slaps my father would have if he could. Your voice has been one of the few paternal figures I missed. If you read this and begin to take it too personal, please don’t. The part you played in my life mustn’t be a burden nor bring you to tears in any case, only at peace for someone who appreciates who you are.
Gratitude from France,
Math.
This made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I hope you are met with the strength you need in life my friend x
The other caution is seeing what you think/ hope/ believe is POTENTIAL.
We can get hooked on it. Be convinced it's there. Keep working on it. But then it doesn't flesh out. I think potential and fantasy are related
Absolutely. You should never date someone for their potential. Sure you want their potential to be great but you should accept that if this is who they are for the long term, then you’re okay with that. If you keep thinking of their potential, you won’t be authentic with them.
Can't believe this is showing up as I'm currently falling in love with a woman that I barely started texting 😅
God works in mysterious ways 💫
@@carolflann2927if by God you mean the TH-cam algorithm, then yes, it does
@@DonJeevy No, we mean what we said. Everything is downstream of Him, even the Enemy's schemes against Him.
@@KopperNeoman him? God told me she's a lady though
Ahh just enjoy it buddy - don’t go ruining life’s experiences by intellectualising them.
God I would have loved to have had a professor like Peterson. Hard to believe they trashed his career over their left wing ideology. In the end he came out on top.
Yes, but … he absolutely seems to have taken on a great deal more anger and bitterness. That might be expected given the battles he had to fight. And continues to fight.
I had to learn to handle seeing dead people. I work as an EMT and one of my first calls was for someone who the Police needed to confirm that someone was dead. It was very mind opening, and made me appreciate how I was brought up. I put it into context by knowing that death is a common thing, and that God has a plan for everything.
The mind wants to want more than it wants to have. Accept this truth and it becomes so much easier to disregard its fantasies as nothing more than the illusions they are.
Fantasy keeps you going sometimes. I know what reality is, but i like to have a reason to keep going, so I will ignore harsh reality so I can enjoy my life as it is. it makes life good even when its bad.
Reconciling yourself to harsh reality is the only way to overcome it. Keep going.
how long?
yeah i am always sensitive about this topic because for example if i am overweight, should i focus on the fatness or be driven by the ideal
Seeing this after a breakup where I did exactly what the title warns against: "Don't Fall In Love With A Fantasy". Thankfully through God I have been mourning appropriately and mostly in the right way. Dr. Jordan Peterson is a wealth of knowledge and wisdom and he explained what I made the mistake of doing, which is the main part of why it was not going to work out.
3:03 bro missed the opportunity to say "We fell in love with the fantasy of privacy online...And maybe it _could_ become a reality! With Express VPN....."
Bloody comment
Riight
Great advice you need to see things as they are and not think someone is perfect
"Ya know, wherever the hell things like that come from" - had be cracking up JP talks about the unconscious like I would
I love Dr. Peterson's podcast and a lot of the topics he discusses these days, but there's something really special about these early lectures
I hate that woke society tried to break this man. He's a special person.
5:03 this is legit the first time I've heard JP use the word 'stuff' in hundreds of hours of videos of him that I've watched.
hi dr peterson, much love and appreciation from IRAN, hope best for you and family , the world is proud to having you, you have no idea how much my anxiety has become better by following your youtube . thanks a loooot
I didn’t fall in love with a fantasy although I will admit I have fantasized about her many many times. She is real and I also know she is not perfect but she is perfect for me -or so I thought. I honestly believe she cared once upon a time but she certainly does not care now. My main problem is being loyal -though Im proud of that - and having a never quit attitude until its literally dead and buried. I am almost able there as she does mot even know Im still alive and does not acknowledge me/anything I say or do. Years ago I would have already forgotten her and not even tried to resolve it but I thought she was HOME. I thought she was destiny. I thought she was the ONE. I was soooooo wrong. I think she actually enjoys hurting me which is extremely painful but also helpful in reaching the end of it. I am close. So close. Perhaps I can revisit this in 2025 and just say -its over. Have a great day whoever may read this.
You have the strength to break free from your bondage, I did it you can do it too. It's been 6 months now I took back my freedom from her and I can you tell life is beautiful. Get out, make connections, meets new people build genuine connection and you will see how lovely your life will be again. You are the prize 🏆 king 👑❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️. I love you bro
@ thanks and all the best to you.
I can't wait to watch this! We often fall in love with fantasy and miss out on the even more exhilarating reality of it all. Even mid experience, we can be so distracted by what the experience could be likened to and not enough by what it actually looks and feels like and how we are being influenced by it and how we are influencing it.
We have to have a relationship with reality.
We interface with it. We are the nexus between imagination and the physical world and it is our jobs to keep a healthy relationship with reality. You can call reality God if that makes it easier or vice versa. Work with it. The reality in front of your face wants you to step into the game and stop hypothesizing from the sidelines in endless musings and procrastinations.
I am moreso preaching at myself at this point but you get the point if you have read me this far.
It's so much fun falling in love with a fantasy. It's hilarious when you're fantasy closely resembles your spouse. 😂
God i dont know how some of these students aren't fully locked in. On the laptop or writing or finishing up another course...
I'd have loved to have this man as a teacher or psychologist. As im sure everyone watching would, but i have fantasys about finding the perfect man and being with him forever. He is that man.
My man. My perfect little cupcake.
"Do you want to be useful in the face of tragedy, or do you want to be pathetic?"
Good question. Most will probably answer honestly, but most of those will probably not succeed. Here's to hoping not all of us fail.
About 3 years ago I came to your videos in desperate need of help and I will never forget how much it helped me and by proxy now the people around me who I am finally able to take care of. This video reminded me of that and I keenly listened to it, just for my nostalgia to be rudely disrupted by an overly loud sponsorship Ad. It's fine for me as I don't need these videos anymore and to the Dr. Peterson of the past I am eternally thankful. But I think this is my Last time checking on this channel, maybe I am wrong or maybe I cannot stand a sellout. There could also be more to this.
Thanks for everything tho
You are a hipocrite he helped you you said you where desperate that you really needed help many of his lectures are free do you know what he cost is if you whant help from a clinical psychologist to help you it can cost 100$ even more pr hour and jorden is one of the best in his field the way you can help him watching the Ads on TH-cam we all have to make money some How and many Ads you can skip after 5 seconds if you dont want to see them and the worst part about is you whoud do the same if you where in his situation you live in a fantasy like the video you Just watched
Love this version of JP. Could listen indefinitely
There is something about these old school lectures that just hit different. If he can figure out what it is and implement it on his new videos, that would be really helpful for the new audience.
He Talk more freely in the old Videos, without the chip on His shoulders and all the stuff He Had to endure the Last few years.
Dr. Peterson is my biggest idol of them all. Without a single doubt in my mind. It’s crazy to me that a person on the internet and in books that I read (antidote to chaos is my favorite book of all time), is at this point in my life more than my father than my actual biological father. It saddens me deeply but then again I’m very grateful for at least my internet “dad”. I hope he wouldn’t mind me calling him that way if he saw this. Anyway, thank you for everything
I needed this in 2019 lmao
I needed it now too though, thank you JP 🙏🏾
I got entrapped into the worst state of mind because of this for an insanely long time 😊
It’s amazing how many people create a fantasy in their minds and are never satisfied with anything less.
They’re denying what they need to grow right off the bat.
In hindsight we rarely know or understand what we need until we take a leap of faith in each other.
"If you can't even think about that, man you've got some thinking to do."
that's something to think about
One of the most powerful messages I've listened to in a long time.
This is absolute gem 💎 i cried when he explained about death
I absolutely love these lectures!
I frequently dissociate this escape my current situation and it has me fantasizing about the potential of something false from 11 years ago. That’s how bad fantasy can be.
and your mind believes you could have been great only if you had made the right decisions. And you are only in this mess because you did this and this. When mess is just the real life. Yes, life could have been better but in the hindsight everything looks easy.
Listening to JP's voice is comforting to say the least
As always, superb quality lecture Sir!
Absolutely incredible lecture. Not sure if this was all of it, but I definitely took plenty of notes.
I agree with you. I've always been one that had trouble with fantasy, but I find myself allowing me to day dream a little bit here and there I even flirt with my very short lived fantasy sometimes it don't last long it can't because of the little knowledge I have lol. But I feel like I don't have much time left on this planet and it's all hell anyway,so I think that's why I have these moments of being childish. Thank u for sharing all ur wonderful knowledge. U help people and I no it's true .😊😊😊
We love you Jordan
Absolutely LOVE this man!!!
We've done that, the happily ever after !!! Even though there was sort of that fantasy projection upon first meeting, she thought that's the handsomest man I ever laid eyes on. I thought damn if I was only 20 years younger !!! The next 2 years went from acquaintance to friend before the romance began. By time that happened most of the fantasy had been replaced with reality, but still some learning and heartache along the way
It was terrific to know so clearly about the Anima and Animus almost everyone has, and how they superimpose their own expectations onto the reality. I think every human being must be susceptible to this particular flaw. Thus, would it be a good idea to put your whole life, past and present on to a neutral video and expect the other party to draw their inferences from these ... A very high IQ person most probably would be able to do so, so the best of good luck to them. 🐬🌸🐬
I agree that the death of a parent is a growing up, that we must stand strong and carry on with strength, perception and peace at such a time. Again, a very strong person would be able to sail through despite their personal loss. Trusting that the person has gone back to his Maker is the only thing which would help. I cannot understand folks who are conditioned to think of a demise of one's closest as a natural inevitability.
Thank you, Dr Jordan, for giving us such thought provoking videos, and a platform to record our own personal view. It is great. Lol.
🐬🌸🐬🌸🐬
Love Jordan ❤
Its so funny because i met this girl talked with her for 1 minutes, but made fantasies about her whole personality and I thought man she is perfect, ofc she is I created her by knowing what I mostly like :D
Sometimes for the fixed mindset it's best to LET GO Jordan.. to find their peace.. that stubborn fixed mindset that can't adjust to 'change'...
Absolutely correct. You are so right!
My mentor and “guru”. Jordan B. Peterson 🧑🏻🚀❤️🚀
This is spot on. I wish I would have learned this 5 years ago. Thank is Dr.Jordan.
That makes sense considering that I have all the memories of another life quite like this one, where I created this Universe because everyone that originally lived with me died because instead of accepting who I am and what I need, they decided I should try to explain to them :P
Your drugs are really strong 😂
I know I am not going back to my ex wife and what my future holds is up to me and I will never forget what happened in my marriage, and in the last year.
Sorry to hear that. I made it, you’ll make it!
thanks Jordan this one is right on point for my fantastical heart 😆
well said, i can totally understand this
thank you Dr. Peterson
“You want to be the strongest person at your father’s funeral” - Jordan Peterson
I can confirm with what the good doctor is saying. For I am quite high in openness
Asking your friends for insight can help you with this. I went on one date with this girl and I thought she was the one. I forget my metric but I was like she checked it off and so that’s it.
I told my friend and he was like really dude? Just based on that?
I didn’t marry this girl….took me a few more years to mature before I found the one. We just added one to our family.
Yup I’ve done this trying to reprogram my mind
This was great professor, thank you!
This man changed my life
Thanks for the wisdom, Dr. P! 💯🙏🏻🦞
Interesting how you mentioned people who work in palliative care and those who are morticians are 'tough'. I don't see it that way. If I was to pursue a career in those careers at this stage of my life, I could handle it but I wouldn't consider myself 'tough' because I'm spiritual and I'd be glad that those patients/clients are leaving prison planet matrix Earth and going to someplace better. Peace is what we need and it sure will never be on Earth.
Like this comment if Jordan made your life better.
he definitely did and i am grateful for that. however that doesnt give him any credibility when talking about climate change or politics.
@@AK-by7nx He has more credibility than you for the simple reason that he is getting punished for his views.
@@KopperNeoman he's a good guy bot no expert of all kinds of things sadly
If only I could understand what he was saying 😭
“Climate change”? A much more accurate and honest term is ‘Weaponized Weather”.
Bring the original Jordan back. Great video.
"If you can't even think about that, man you got some thinking to do." So true.😂
It happens to me all the time
Aww the OG Jordan! Love his lectures. They took away his license and it seems as though he’s gotten crazy. Or just old! Lots of love either way grandpa.
Benzos literally melt the brain, and we got to see it first hand
Youre awesome JBP ❤
This man is brilliant
Finally.. something about creativity / openess.
My strongestt aspect of the Big 5. I dont know if i am intelligent, but i know damn well that i scold myself and my world harshly on an hourly basis.
I am super lazy though to begin stuff when i dont see the immediate benefit from it.
Anyway.. "you got to be high in openess to like my lectures, because i jump from topic to topic" indeed he does.
The title of the video is about 2 minutes of the the content. Of course the rest is interesting, but it simply has nothing to do with the topic of the video.
Sometimes I miss Douglas Adams:
"Ford, can't we just lay on our sides for a while?"
I left my motherland 18 years ago, traveled the world. Been to Africa, Asia, most of the Arab Middle East, Eastern Europe, and am now living in Russia.
You know, I am tired. I have been beaten up, shot, had stomach cancer, been married and divorced.
Now I am in Russia. Been here 2 years, and in my opinion it is the best country in the world.
I am willing to discuss this.
Just curious…what’s your motherland?😊
Useful! Thanks for this
Why is he doing the seminar in Charles Luther Burtons classroom 😅😁
Whenever I feel down, I listen to Dr. Peterson and just feel great afterwards! It really makes my day ❤
No shit, you are so right!! I fell in love with what I thought was a beautiful man with a beautiful mind only he wasn't... what a weird creep. I never spent enough time with him... he wasn't available. Lesson learned!
He could take some classes about people's sensitivity. But I'm glad he's saying good stuff
I was useful in the face of death. I handled my father's funeral. I was the only one that could do it. I don't like to be that cold I wish sometimes I can feel more, I'm always the one that needs to be the strong one, Is exhausting
Great clip!
The kids in there look so unenthused. They just don’t know how lucky they are.
Seriously..this is the truth
Half of them are there to do the bare minimum to pass in order to become bare minimum useless psychologists/mental health "professionals". Not much passion detected.
The ad in the middle is wild.
Just by hearing him speak I start playing inspirational slideshows in my head lol! 😂
Centered ❤
Man that took a turn towards the end but he was right
Only good thing from Canada
So far, my fantasy has been a woman who works a job and is not irresponsible with money, has never cheated or slept around alot, and doesn't expect it to be all give on my part and all take on hers. Someone open and honest with herself, and me.
Too much to ask nowadays.
I was a mortician for twenty years. Brutal. Brutal brutal. Lots of ptsd type feelings. Mostly smells are the trigger.
He needs to market his talks as Come to Jordan! 🇯🇴 😅😂
Back when Canadian university students were actually from Canada.
Stand still.....
Does not surprising that it's inevitable development, people tried to win something at life and realised that's that require something high-level later they found war with themselves and found that lag with their older versions is too huge to handle that it's having not fight but fall in love, so that is kinda weird timeline.. with wonders from nature..
I saw the video title and I was like...YUP. I call it falling in love with an IDEA.
done that!
so you have to have some sort of imagination of the person you have fallen for but not dwell in the fantasy of that love.