We got married in a public park, on a Wednesday, with only about 15 people (parents, siblings, nieces and nephews). Then just went to a simple restaurant after. Cost about $1000 and I wouldn't change a thing. I couldn't imagine spending a ton of money. We just wanted to be married! Coming up on 9 years ❤
honestly that's what my ex and i wanted for our first wedding, but parents and family got involved. hopefully my next wedding, whenever that will be, will much small and simple.
I attended a wedding once, that was in the backyard of the couples house. They had put up a tent, rented a slush ice machine (this was in the middle of july, and total summer weather), invited the priest to their home and had the ceremony there, and the rented a hotdog truck that served everyone hotdogs for the rest of the day. It was awesome.
Invited the priest and had the ceremony there? You cannot do that as a Catholic. Holy Matrimony is a Sacrament and is to be done in God's House the Church. I love everything else though about the backyard celebration.
Bro, hot dogs?! I went to a friend's wedding last month, and I had to google part of every dinner option because they were so fancy. The food was great, but I was like, "Man, I honestly just want hot dogs at my wedding. I know what they are and I like them."
@@Bonsqueesquee Totally agree for most cases, the bride just wanna be queen And forgets that the point of a wedding is all about the couple, celebrating as a couple.
One of the best decisions my husband and I made was having some old ladies at our church plan our wedding. We sat down with them once, gave them an idea of what we wanted, told them to keep costs low. Then let them have fun so we didn't have to stress. We got to make sure we had the meaningful moments we wanted without having to worry about overwhelming details like decor. Getting married at our church was free, we just paid the people individually who provided services. About $250 total. The way they did food was a bunch of the ladies got together and cooked something in the church kitchen for us. The leftovers were used for the churches luncheon the next week, charging us only the cost of what was consumed. If you know midwestern church lady cooking, you know how yummy it was. We supplied them with a couple of bottles of wine to enjoy while cooking :) I bought my dress online second hand and it was gorgeous. Neither of us like dancing and didn't want our memories clouded by alcohol, which also cut down costs. I had a friend who's like a second mom take pictures and she wouldn't accept a penny for that and she even made a photo album and video for us. My mom baked cupcakes and even without a ton of frosting experience, you can make them look cute. All in all, we paid roughly 1k for our wedding in 2021. Oh yeah and we were only engaged for 3 months.
Sounds like what we did at our wedding. One of my wife's subtle helped organize, some of her other family made a simple but good cake, it was in her grandparent's church, and her uncle did the service. Then family on both sides pitched in to pull it off. We were also only engaged for about 7-8 months, and the only reason it was that long is because we waited till after my wife finished her last semester in college. Then for honeymoon went to the Vegas area (got timeshare cheap) to explore the parks/ history of the area. (We didn't care about the strip or usual Vegas stuff)
The pandemic saved us. We were only allowed 10 guests. We spent $500-$700 and have no desire to redo our wedding now. It was brilliant. No stress no real planning and done! Been married for 4 years now.
we did the same. We took advantage of pandemic so we can get married with my wife and best decision ever! It saved us from all the stress of preparations and gathering all our families together since we lived from differnt parts of the country. Cost us about less than $200 for everything and wouldn't want to redo it especially with the economy now and we just had our 1st baby.
For power hungry governments to tell you you could only have ten people at your wedding is so wrong. Not saying you should have had more but that’s a sucky reason
100% Brett. We got married this year and managed to spend only half of what we budgeted(which wasn't too exorbitant). We did it completely our way, despite many voices telling us it was virtually impossible to have the kind of wedding we desired with such a small budget. Cut to a month after and so many guests are still raving and saying it was one of the best weddings they've ever attended. Weddings are a celebration and celebrations are supposed to be fun, not stressful. Love your channel, Brett. Keep shining.
As long as you pay attention to your guests comfort (including ways to keep little ones quiet and entertained at their family's table) they will remember and rave about it. Some of our relatives are still raving about our wedding over 7 years later despite fancier family weddings since.
My husband and I got married during the 2008 recession. We said no to the wedding industry and had a courthouse wedding with our immediate family and closest friends. My side of the family wasn't happy and accused 18 year old me of being pregnant the entire time. 😂 We weren't having a shotgun wedding, we were just best friends and knew we wanted to be together forever. I have zero regrets. We just celebrated 16 years together last month. The wedding, itself, isn't the important part. It's the commitment to one another that matters.
My husband and I got married in 2008 too!! Kept it simple, just 70 guests, my aunt made my dress, just baby's breath and grapes for decorations, rented a very pretty park/villa for 200 euros: it was beautiful!! Everyone at my wedding too thought I was crazy because I was 21 😂 Celebrating our 16th anniversary on Columbus Day, 3 kids and going strong!!
2008 bride here too. But the recession did not hit Canada so hard at the time. We ended up with the big, white wedding even though I didn't really care either way. My mom and dad (well, my mom) had a blast planning everything and I just went along. It WAS fun. I know we're putting those down now and it was popular putting them down then too. I didn't want one but having had it....yeah, I had a great time. My mom was so worried her brothers would trash her for "being cheap" and I knew that was not an unfounded fear so I let her do what she wanted to make things easier for her. I knew I wanted to get married in the church I grew up in. That part was important.
I had a big wedding in a small way. We used the Ancient Spanish Monetary in Miami (beautiful venue) giant cake and dancing in the middle of a Friday with 20 of our closest friends & family. I wore the gorgeous gown & he wore a tux. It felt luxurious to be having this slow moving afternoon while everyone else was at work. This coming February will be 30 years. 💍🩷
I was going to jump in and say "well they were planning on a direct invasion since 1942 with operation Sledgehammer"... Oh wait, that was still only 2 years!!
My literal thought process. I was trying to explain to my boyfriend that weddings cost a lot depending on what you do. I haven't told him what I wanted and he already assumed that I want an expensive wedding.😒
I asked my church to prepare fancy finger food. They wanted to help, so I gave them something to do. I don't have stuck up family or friends, so it never occurred to me to worry what people thought. That was 23 years ago, but the weddings people were doing was more than we could afford even then, and I've never regretted it.
This spoke to me on such a personal level. We've been engaged for 9 months and I feel we've had very few moments we've been able to enjoy together stress free lately. We get married in 1 week and I'm so ready for it to be over!! Family members requiring us to comply and accommodate their opinions, thoughts and feelings on our dime and time will forever be my biggest regret.
I paid $89 to the county superior court to marry my husband, and that was all. We put our money into starting our life together. We want to have a reception once we hit 10 years when we renew our vows. No two weddings are alike and that's okay.
@@snappy_gilmore love your idea! My husband and I are planning something similar at 10 years. Only 4 years away now…probably should start thinking of saving for it lol
That seems to be a popular option. Less stress and very easy to do. At the 10 year anniversary, it's just a party at that point anyways. The wedding part is primarily for the couple, promising themselves to the other. And everything else is for everyone else.
25 years married here… met hubs online in 1998, married 11 months later in my home parish with about 100 family/friends… a small finger-food and cake reception in the church hall, followed by a dress-down barbecue at my parents’ home, where we stayed till almost midnight opening all our gifts in front of guests. My cheeks were sore from smiling ear to ear for so long; it was so much fun! It’s all about the people who care about you who are celebrating your union, and the life you are planning together.
I got married in the front yard of my dads business😅 Costco cake and flowers, dress online ($80), catered from a local restaurant that ended up being about $12/plate, and we just got snacks for before. We also had friends be our bar tenders and everyone said it was the funnest wedding they ever went to. Not many weddings also have a mechanical bull and archery tag😂
My cousins got married in her family's horse barn. My other cousins got married at their church. You don't have to go insane with the planning and location. Our fam runs a greenhouse, I'll just be getting my flowers from there.
the best part of our wedding day was the drive home to our new apartment and getting to lay down in bed next to each other and go to sleep! weddings are overrated. marriage is underrated.
Very unrelated but as a teenage girl, I love Brett so much, she literally is the reason I learned more about how to think, and I’m so glad I started watching. I don’t have to agree with everything she says, and I think that’s awesome! Please keep up the amazing work!!
May I ask how you found her videos? I didn't start getting reccomended content like this until after I reached adulthood and I'm very curious about how a teenager finds videos like this, and what draws a teenager to click on said videos. Sorry if that's a weird question, and it's ok if you don't remember, hahaha
@@MayBlake_Channel Oh, it’s not weird at all, there’s no reason to apologize!! I watch this other channel called Misha Petrov and Amala’s channel, and I really liked video essays about the rise of anti-intellectualism with the rise of modern feminism/liberalism! I just happened to see a video one day and thought it was interesting, and now I literally can’t stop watching them!!
i love how happy and joyful Brett was when she told us about her wedding day. i’m sure it was nothing but magical. i think it’s true that the wedding industry is getting out of hand but i do believe that there are still brides & grooms out there who don’t gaf about others and just focus on their own happiness and their own people. be like Brett. be happy and joyful on your wedding day. it’s your wedding day for goodness sake
My husband and I decided that we would not put on a big show for everyone and eloped to Las Vegas. It was I love you, you love me lets just do this and get on with our lives together. We were married for 20 years until he passed.
We were extremely blessed to have my parents pay for our wedding. We were married in our church for free, we held the reception in our community center that we decorated well, my cousin took the photos, and my dress was on clearance. The whole process was affordable for my parents, which was important to me, and it was perfect. The most important part were the moments with my husband and family that I will never forget.
We did the same but fewer people because of covid. Honestly it would have been cheaper without covid because my church venue canceled and I had to find a new one that was more expensive. It ended up nice though!
I might be in the minority but here is what I think. That big fancy wedding is for the guests, not the "happy" couple. Elope, go to the Courthouse, or, here in Kentucky we can get married by a Magistrate, in Florida a Notary can perform weddings. Do one of those. Have a family member or friend take photos. Then once you are married have a get together for family and close friends. Heck, make it a cookout, do something fun that everyone will enjoy. Stop going into debt just getting married. Save the money for a down payment on a house or save it for the future.
I love watching and listening to you talk about ur wedding! It’s refreshing to see someone close to my age express what I’ve been thinking about on social media!
Oh, I will say one thing. The good thing about weddings being stressful is that you get to see how the other handles stress along with the in-laws. This is good because stressful things will happen in life, not all the time, but it will and it's good to have a glimpse before getting married. Just remember though, no one is perfect.
One of my favorite weddings ever was a lot like yours in that family and friends gave what they could and helped my then-roomie put together an amazing wedding/reception that was so her and her husband. That was nearly 30 years ago, and getting to be a part of the inner workings of that wedding and how beautiful it turned out, are still some of my most treasured memories. They are still happily married and their kids are now grown. It's sad that we've lost so much of that now. It's too much about the perfect IG wedding, and too little about prep for a lifelong commitment. Appreciate your sharing your story, Brett.
I have the answer: delete your social media account. You will live without it I promise. You may also find yourself healthier and happier for it. Go out and visit a friend, go to church, take a real, phone free hike. And please, for your own sake, have a social media free wedding and marriage.
This. I mean, I still like Facebook to stay connected to things happening locally, but I don’t follow everyone I went to school with anymore. And obviously TH-cam but for videos like this.
Just made me more pissed off and miserable. I'm still with Bae 13+ years and not married with 4 children while they're all 30 getting married and doing it "the right way" and not inviting me. So... gonna be a snob and not watch, not entertain their "special" moments and focus on making my own more meaningful.
100% agreed💯 I blame social media for all this. People are romanticizing unrealistic standards and if they are not met, they spend their time and even their wedding day being upset about it, it's ridiculous. social media is the reason for all this comparison of who did better and showoff.
Brett is just spitting facts out here!!! About a month into planning my wedding, I realized not only was the cost of everything literally insane and unaffordable for me and my now husband, but also the focus was no longer on us and our life together, but about this big party. Therefore, I decided I wanted a small, intimate wedding. When I told my now husband this, he said he felt a wave of relief and we agreed this was what we really wanted. We had a beautiful and intimate ceremony at our church and a stunning reception with our closest friends and family (20 people) at a local restaurant. To this day, we have no regrets and we only spent a FRACTION of what we would have had we planned the big elaborate wedding. And the best part was that I got to spend the whole wedding planning process just excited to be married to the love of my life and not stressed and angry all the time from planning. ❤️
I love reading this. I'm glad to see some people using common sense. I never wanted a big wedding myself, even as a youngster when other girls were looking at bridal magazines I knew that wasn't for me. It never made sense to me to spend so much money on a big party for everyone else. Whenever I went to big wedding receptions it never really seemed like the bride & groom were actually enjoying themselves. I wanted to enjoy my wedding day.
We planned our wedding in 3 months. We got engaged on Tuesday and by Saturday we had 1. My dress .2 Our bridal party 3. Our ceremony venue 4. Our reception venue 5. Our officiant 6. Our rings. It doesn’t have to be long and drawn out
It always makes me smile when I tell people that my mother and my cousins/aunts/gramma/great aunts homemade (or thrifted) almost my whole wedding. All the (fake) flower arrangements, all the signage and table settings, the seating chart, everything! My dad even made a badass Photo backdrop out of thrifted records. That made me proud and I felt so loved 💖 and very cost effective 😀
May 2020 bride here! All our wedding plans got thrown out the window because of COVID lockdowns and honestly... couldn't have been more grateful! Planning was getting really stressful and overwhelming. Ended up getting married in my in-laws backyard with only our Pastor and closest family members as witnesses. It was very special! :)
We had a beautiful wedding in the Catholic Church I grew up in this past spring. My parents were married there. I received all my sacraments there now including Holy Matrimony. My grandparents attended the same church and both of their funerals took place there. Very special.
My husband gave just about everyone who touched my sons wedding a check or a check with thank you gifts i hand made. Our donations went to support the poor and help turn a motel into family housing with a playground. Beats paying a wedding venue hands down.
Such a beautiful wedding story! I love that you had everyone in your life so involved! I planned my wedding in three months, and man, it was stressful. I didn’t really have time to shop around for a dress, so I got one that I felt like a princess in and called it good. 😅 I actually wish that my wedding had been a bit smaller! The day was so crazy and so packed with people and things to do that I kind of just got swept up in everything happening instead of just enjoying the day. But, my wedding was amazing! I love looking back at our pictures! 🥰
Hey Brett, Congratulations on you getting married!! I am a dj for (37 years) and I like what you said what you did with doing the Parents Dances before the The First Dance so you can go right in open dance floor. I think I'm gonna use that in my future weddings that I dj at.
My husband and I eloped about 3 months before my baby brother got married. I said something to him about eloping vs wedding and his partner had told him that if he wanted to elope, he could do it with someone else cause she wouldn't be hidden away like that. At the end of their reception, I asked how they were doing and they both wished they had eloped 😂😂
My cousin eloped with her hubby right after college and are still happy together with two handsome boys almost 2 decades later. her parents were strongly against her marrying interracially but have since reconciled after the grandkids were born.
@@ChelseaMilton yah, it's typically what happens. asian families can be really prejudiced against interracial relationships, but then reconcile once the grandchildren are born.
I got married in May. I am the oldest in my immediate family and am the first to get married. Wedding planning was so stressful!! I totally relate to you saying you'd stress and stress over how to save money or what you could do differently, etc. We got really lucky and my parents gave us a lot of money to pay for everything, and his parents covered flowers and our rehearsal dinner which was so nice!! Things add up so quickly and it got overwhelming fast.
I got married in my backyard greenhouse (which we built ourselves from locally sourced/thrown out supplies) with about 15 guests. I spent under $4,000 with many thrifted items and I live in CA. It was so much more intimate and beautiful this way.
I love this! Weddings are just the beginning of a wonderful life together. My husband and I got engaged at the end of June and got married in the middle of October. It was a pretty hectic time but two years later I’m still being told that people had so much fun. We had burgers and a Costco cake, I barely had time to eat so I did not care about the food! My only regret is not wearing my glasses or getting contacts, but my husband looks at me the same way he did at our wedding so that’s okay. Preparing for marriage and doing premarital counselling was much more important than any detail of the day
I resonate with a lot of what you said Brett. We got married in 2005 and we made our budget about $1500. I think we spent a little bit more than that, but my home church let us have the wedding and reception there for free. A lady in my church made our cake for free. We paid photographer that we knew, and it wasn’t much. It was a beautiful and very intentional wedding. And 19 years later, we are still happily married and have four wonderful children.
Same here! Our wedding was basically funded by our families but everything came out to like $20k for an average wedding in Los Angeles (we had a lot of friends and family we wanted there). And that was on the cheap side. It was insane!
Love how you kept it local, helping out the community you lived in and the people in your lives and they were all too happy to help you out, it seems. ❤😊😊❤
Got married in May during COVID and also used it as an excuse to invite fewer people (I see others have done that too in the comments). We paid for the entire day ourselves, had both the ceremony and the reception at an Airbnb, and like Brett, most of what we had done was by people we know and love. All in all, it was around $5k and I wouldn’t change a thing still to this day. Why start your marriage in stressful debt, esp when the #1 reason for divorce is finances?
We eloped on February 29, 2020 (2 weeks before the pandemic) outside of a random church because it had a ton of trees, and it was beautiful. We are military, so no family around us. I genuinely never "dreamed" about my wedding. I didn't care much about the idea of one. I'm so glad we eloped. So intimate and the officiant made our ceremony so special for us. We barely paid anything, just the marriage license and officiant, lol.
Wow, members of my church are so lucky! We tend to get married quickly after getting engaged, like, within 4 months. Why wait once you've committed? We get married in our temples, for free, with a maximum of 20-30 people in attendance. Then people typically have receptions in our church's gyms (decorated, to be sure, but still free as far as the location is concerned). Some people, like myself, rent a reception hall, but that's also much less than the price tags quoted here! We marry for the covenant we're making with our spouse and God, more than for the show. And thank Heaven we do, apparently! Side note: I heard once that the more expensive the wedding and reception, the less likely a couple is to stay together long-term. I'm unsure as to the veracity of that statement, but it's an interesting thing I've not been able to forget ever since hearing it.
I’m also LDS, and coming up to an age to be married soon. And I am literally so excited that my future wedding won’t be so expensive since we have such beautiful temples. And it’s so easy to make the church gyms look stunning! You are so right about this!
Memeber here! 👋 My Dad had a guy literally teach a lesson about how cost-effective it is to be married in the temple compared to the world. I have always loved the image 😂😂 Best part, my dad was on his mission!
Fellow Latter Day Saint and I feel the same way about the options we have for weddings. Our budget was $1500 for dresses, food, flowers, decorations, all of it 18 years ago. I’m Polynesian so most of the budget was to provide a feast for about 100 people. Most of the rest of the details were done on the cheap or from generous people who let us borrow things or gifted us stuff. I’m so grateful! We focused on the marriage covenant for that special day and then a fun, but low key party to celebrate with our family and friends. We planned it in 3 months too. It is possible! Simple is better. ❤️
My mother told me that weddings and building a home and picking out colors are the same, both are done for everyone else’s opinion but the person/s it’s actually for.
@@HigumaHoney huh? interesting. the ceremony where you celebrate the union of you and your spouse isn't about you, but rather about your parents, who may not be alive/active in your life. that's quite an interesting opinion
No one forces you to have a wedding though. Just have a wedding that you dream of and only invite the people who wish you well. And if you don’t want a wedding at all then just get married without it.:) But probably depends on what country you live in. I get if the culture is harsh and makes you do certain things. Anyways, good luck:)
We will be getting married in March of 2025. We got together at the beginning of 2022 and engaged within 7 months. The only reason we waited was because of the pressure from family and feeling like we had to spend so much and save so much to have this big, grand wedding. Now that we have been engaged for over 2 years, we are looking back and wishing we hadn't given into all of the pressure with feeling like we had to cater to our family and basically go into debt for something that will only last a day. We got fed up with all the waiting and choose a day that was good for our families and caterers. If people couldn't make it, we didn't mind one bit. We just want to be married and have a good time. We both love each other very much and wished we had gotten married sooner. We are now just going to have our wedding at our church where we met. We don't have to pay a penny to our church, but we still wanted some type of party where everyone can eat, mingle, and go crazy on coffee (we both love coffee and are having a coffee bar!!) and our church has a very large backyard that is perfect. I personally didn't want to spend more than $1k for a dress and found a lovely dress on Azazie for under $700 that is just my style along with an engagement party and bridal shower dress costing about $100 each. The wedding industry indeed has made weddings feel like it has to be big, grand, and expensive otherwise it's, "cheap." I'm glad to see a lot more people saying, "hey. I'm an average worker who isn't rich and just wants to be married. I can't spend $10-20k+ on a wedding. We are DIY'ing a lot of things and now it's under $8k!" Lots of caterers are insanely expensive. I had spoken with a wedding coordinator, and she was charging me about $12k for only the main wedding stuff after I had specifically told her we didn't want to spend more than $7-8k. After I had voiced my thoughts saying everything was expensive and I wouldn't be able to pay for it and would like cheaper alternatives, she ghosted me lol that was when I said to hec with it, and we are doing it our way. If I have to DIY, then I will. Loved your input! You were spot on with everything!
Crazzzzzyyy that Brett makes a video about this as I’ve been engaged for barely over a month and have had a few breakdowns because of wedding planning and how crappy the industry is. As my fiancée would say, it feels like cancer. 🙃 I’m thrilled to be engaged, but the costs are absurd.
maybe plan a destination wedding overseas where the venues and catering are much cheaper, and you can limit your guest list because people have to rsvp and pay for their own plane tickets and accommodation. i think only your real family and real friends would bother to attend.
@@HigumaHoney Unfortunately our families and friends would not be able to handle the cost of that. We would rather have the people we love surround us than make it harder for them to come. Thank you though!
@@HigumaHoneyI have been looking into international wedding to save on the cost but sadly, it is the same if not more expensive than getting married here. At this point I am lost and I just want to elope
I am single, but I lived through all my friends getting married 10-15 years ago and it was like, the ultimate one up Pinterest perfect competition. Mind you, these were couples and families that genuinely cared about the marriage, but there was so much pressure to do SO MANY things. All the cute decorations and hashtags and Photo Booths and on and on. A lot of it was driven by the mothers of the bride, perhaps because most of the brides were younger. At age 35, if I get married, the small elopement I’m paying for myself sounds lovely.
I love this. My wife and I got married in the backyard of one of her uncles. My wife comes from a creative family. It was such a blessing to have everyone use their creative talents to make our day special. It was also a blessing to not have to stress about it because I knew that everyone involved loved us and wanted to make our day special. Our wedding was small but the whole thing was perfect! Our biggest splurge was on the honeymoon.
Currently planning my wedding and def realizing all the unnecessary costs 😂 like just the paper alone, I’m only doing wedding invitations but the knot is trying to advertise 1) save the dates 2) wedding invites 3) RSVPs 4) wedding info cards 5) bridal shower invites 6) thank you cards Like what 😂 no, I’m doing invites and then the rest will be on our website or done in person. And let’s not forget the “budget venues” that cost $2500 BUT if you want the decor and everything else that makes the setting pretty to be included then it’s an extra $3800 🤣
I was just talking to my husband the other day about how cheap our wedding was (1995). We threw it together in 2 months and I sent out fill in the blank wedding invitations 😂😂 I think it cost under $10.
My husband and I got married in our first apartment. His parents, mine, and our siblings. Been happily married for 11 years. No regrets I honestly would’ve gotten eloped as well 😅
We had always joked about getting married on a Wednesday (I am a teacher and that is my "early day"). Anyway, we got married in the summer, at the courthouse, on a Wednesday- only parents allowed. Went to a nice dinner afterward and a week later had a BBQ for family and friends to celebrate. We have always done things our way and that just makes me love it more. Your wedding photos are so gorgeous and seeing the red bird, oh my goodness, how perfect! Blessings for you guys on this beautiful journey.
We got married in 2020 in our backyard under a big maple tree, then had the reception in our polebarn with dollar general decorations and fed everyone venison burgers. Our close friends and family were there, we played music and danced and ate cake. I did my own makeup, a friend did my hair, and I had no stress. I've never had more fun and it was the best day of my life. Every year I take a "propeller" seed from the maple tree and sprout it, I now have 4 tree saplings to plant at our forever home someday ❤️
My wife and I had a 100 guest wedding, planned in 9mo, for less than $25k in the middle of 2020. We had a great planning experience, fantastic time, and happy guests. It’s possible
Most people could never afford a wedding that expensive! (25k) I went into debt planning my wedding that was around 9k and regret it! If I could go back, I would forget the wedding and Elope. I would make it about only me and my husband and not about throwing our family and friends a party.
Me and my Fiancée are currently planning our wedding, with also around 100 guests, and we’re at around 25k. Thankfully we’re not in debt, but it is tiring and very stressful. Getting married May 30th next year, and we’re already feeling quite burnt out. That cost was the minimum of what we were looking for sadly. We’re both working jobs and doing school. It’s quite a handful
That sounds exactly like my best friends wedding! There were no bridesmaids or groomsmen other than the MOH (me) and the best man. I threw a bridal shower for her, but she didn’t want an engagement or bachelorette party. Her parents made ALL the food (including the cake) for the wedding and rehearsal dinner, and we did all the floral arrangements and decorations. There were maybe 75 people at the wedding, and it was truly a perfect day.
I was just praying to God about getting married and how I wanted Him to guide me in the process and then this video showed up! Confirmed my desire to have a cute courthouse wedding and go on an exciting honeymoon. I don’t want to wait months or years, I want it done in 6 months or less. I’m ready to have a marriage convanent with the love of my life and my savior. Nothing else matters. Not what others want, not a venue, not photos. Just the beginning of a beautiful and hopefully long journey with my husband.
We got married in April of 2020, COVID wedding, ten people in attendance. It was beautiful, perfect, and everything it needed to be. We didn’t have a photographer, we didn’t have a huge reception, we didn’t have a honeymoon. I do wish more people could’ve been there with us, but it was the most beautiful wedding experience ever. We got married in the small town church we dreamed of and our priest said recently that it is his favorite wedding ever.
Brett's wedding reminds me of that one scene from Father of the Bride where George imagines his daughter having a BBQ wedding and everyone gets so offended that he would even consider something like that. 😂
We had 22 guests on one long table and it was perfect 💜 We spent the money we would have had on catering for more people on having a 2 day wedding abroad. I couldn't get on board with the idea of having loads of people I'd hardly met staring at me at such an intimate moment, because "if you invite so and so you have to invite their nephew", and spending the reception going from table to table exchanging small talk. We've been married almost 10 years and our friends still talk about how much fun they had 😍
My wedding is coming up. Well, not a wedding. It’s just my fiancé and I going to Colorado to officiate our own wedding and exchange vows in the mountains. No one other than us two and God.
No shame in wanting a smaller intimate wedding. I'm in my late 30s and have bever been married. I absolutely want the larger more fancy wedding. Just the immediate family on my side would be almost 80 people, over 95% I know would be coming, so planning to do a 150 guest list as long as my future husband doesn’t have a huge family. I'm guessing we'll be spending around $30k. Since I know I want a nicer wedding, I have a wedding fund I put toward monthly as part of my savings. Still looking for Mr. right.
We had a back yard wedding! Rented a tent, I DIYed all the decorations, catered Mission BBQ and hired a local bartender. About 50 of our closest friends and family were there. It was beautiful. I didn’t even had a DJ. I rented a Bluetooth PA system and hooked up my iPad to it playing an already existing wedding playlist. Then I opened it up to the guests so they could select their own songs!
My husband and I did the same thing. We did a lot of things on our own and had our friends and family help. We splurged on a band. It was beautiful and a medium sized wedding but full of love and lots of fun. Not that expensive but we made it ours. And totally agree…STAY AWAY FROM TRADITIONAL WEDDING VENDORS. 😂 I swear the word wedding makes the price triple!!!
We're getting married in November. We both knew our wedding venue immediately because it has so much meaning to us. We chose a campground on the lake where we often camp. It's cheap and means so much more than a random fancy building. We are going small as well and doing a lot of DIY. My mom is making my dress with fabric from her dress and my my grandmother's dress. Again, it's a savings of thousands of dollars and has SO much more meaning!
My husband & I met at church last Fall. We were quick with serious & productive conversations & discussed life goals. We were engaged in june and married in august! An outdoor ceremony, ,a brunch reception, & a cabin honeymoon ♡ What God put His hand ppm never comes confusion. Send it!
I recently got engaged and my fiancé and I have been discussing the same thing-an outdoor ceremony, a brunch reception, and a cabin honeymoon in the mountains.
Eloped after 2 months in New Orleans in a chapel in the French quarter. Managed to get 40 of our immediate family and friends to join. We had a welcome party Friday, ceremony Saturday, a wonderful catered meal at a nearby restaurant then danced to the music in the streets for the rest of the day. Some people joined, others relaxed and explored on their own. It’s possible to plan a wedding in a short amount of time. ❤ near or far❤
I loooove that you answered some questions about your wedding! You’re such a level headed person I always imagined your wedding to reflect that. I’m getting married next your and this was such a good reassurance that my small hometown wedding will be exactly what my fiancé and I want. And I can’t wait for him to be my husband!
That's the root of why there are wedding celebrations. Back in the day, they'd throw huge wedding parties because the attendees would essentially be proof of the marriage. They didn't have marriage certificates back then. It's also the reason that Jesus turning water into wine, to keep the party raging, was considered a miracle.
We got engaged during 2020 and purposely planned a wedding in 3 months during 2020. We had 49 people including us, rented an Airbnb on a piece of property and had a pizza truck. After the ceremony we changed into jeans and a sweatshirt and had a bonfire and ate our pizza and desserts under a tent with twinkle lights and music playing lightly in the background. We loved it and our guests said they did too. It was intimate and sacred and we wouldn’t have don’t it any other way ❤
Got married on a Tuesday in March barefoot on a California beach for free with just siblings, parents, and grandparents two months before baby arrived. 💗So sweet and stress-free, wouldn’t change a thing. My dad covered a really nice dinner for us all, his mom covered a honeymoon night for us in a historical boutique hotel. My brother was our videographer, sister in law photographer, and brother in law officiated. Basically, our family really showed up for us 💗
My husband and I spent $25 each on the marriage license and that was it. Our college campus pastor married us with the school photographer offering to take pictures and two of our friends as witnesses. One of the friends brought a small cake and we all had a good time. No regrets! My mom later held a small drop-in reception for us which was also fantastic. Very small and so personal. People loved it and like Brett said, people were able to be involved and feel part of our day in ways we couldn't have achieved going traditional.
Weddings and receptions are a waste of money. Think simple, focus on your new spouse instead of yourself. Weddings reveal how self centered brides and grooms can be.
No, not necessarily. Wedding ceremony and "receptions" or celebrating is as old as marriage itself. It outdates legal marriage, and was the epitome of officiating marriage for the majority of the people until very very recent history. It is a way for everyone to celebrate an important life change, the uniting of two souls forever as one, the uniting of two families into one, in front of and with the families and loved ones and communities, incorporating the religious and spiritual beliefs as well. And after, the loved ones would celebrate together, and this differed depending on the region and part of the world and time period, but across all regions there was a celebration after, sometimes for WEEKS, to support and celebrate such an amazing and permanent change, the start of a new family and the binding of 2 forever. We as humans have Ceremonialized and celebrated important moments and changes since before it could even be documented in writing. Hell, we even celebrated good harvests every year! We celebrated children becoming adults, we celebrated people becoming parents, men becoming warriors, and so on. It's a part of human nature and a way that we express and share and revel in our important and life changing moments socially, sharing these moments with our loved ones via fun, happy memories and ceremonies signifying the start of something new and good. I believe what YOURE referring to, is specifically the materialistic approach some take to weddings, not wedding ceremonies and receptions as a whole. There has never been anything wrong with ceremony and reception, as it has been around since the dawn of marriage itself, and is an inherent part of beginning a marriage and has been for nearly everyone for all of marital history. The issue is a separate one all together, and is rather one of putting on a show to impress others and show off, to try to one up the next person, to fit into an aesthetic, and present yourself a certain way, to see a wedding ceremony as a social stepping stone rather than a ceremony and party celebrating a lifelong bond between a couple and a families, and the start of a new family all together.
Wedding can be simple but you need great food. An BBQ is where it's at. Lite the smoker and low and slow beef brisket and beef ribs. Make coleslaw, potatoe salad, have fresh fruit, and serve strawberry shortcake. Basically make sure all the food is an ten and you pick an time an place that's not hot or full of mosquitoes. Get married in the morning and have an fun lunch reception. Have it outside with a few activities for people to do and an area for the kids to run-around blowing bubbles. Have hay rides or something. Don't serve alcohol just tea, juice and lemonade. And if there's a body of water nearby it better be somewhere where people can fish. Be a wonderful day outside for everyone.
Lol. I asked my husband whether our fairly expensive wedding was a reflection of my selfishness, and he about bit my head off, because his family enjoyed it so much.
My husband and I got married last year at the courthouse, two weeks after being engaged. It was great and I loved that we were able to do it on a specific and special day that meant a lot to both of us. But afterwards we decided to do a little ceremony and party to share with our friends and family, and the whole thing stressed me out so much we decided to just do a dinner with our close family and it was the best option for us.
Love that people are talking about this! My husband and I were married 10 years ago. We got engaged in the summer and were married less than 7 months later in the winter. We booked one of the simple halls in the area for only $500. It has tons of windows with a beautiful view of the city and river. Our total wedding cost, including my dress was around $6000. We never felt a need to compete or do anything other than be ourselves. So many family and friends blessed us by using their talents from making the bouquets, decorating the church, DJ’ing, to singing at our reception, and all the things in between from setting up to tearing down. We’ve gotten complemented for years about how beautiful our wedding was and how it’s one of the most memorable people have been to. We just let it be a relaxed celebration! And it was!
We got married on the lawn at church. 50 people in attendance. Made all the food, did all the flowers, set up/tear down. Biggest splurge was a photog for $1,200. Only $2,200 for the WHOLE wedding total.
I just got married, and I cannot tell you enough that planning a wedding was the most stressful time of my life. I loved spending time with my wife (now), but there were stressful discussions, and we almost had a postponement. We were able to pull it off, thanks to our family and friends. I will work my ass off to make sure that my wife and I spend the rest of our lives together because I love her, and I never want to plan another wedding again.
Best piece of advice I ever heard “do you want the wedding day or the marriage?” A lotttttt of ladies need to ask themselves this when discerning being together with their boyfriend FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES!!!! 😮💨😪
utilizing personal relationships and friends to help with food, setup, decor, etc. was such a huge benefit for us! We were amazed by how willing people were to step up and contribute to our day, and it really made the day so much more meaningful for us to know we had so many people who loved us enough to pull it off. Also, some advice: food would have been the major tipping point of our budget, but we settled on soup, salad, and bread for our guests! Bought some soup from Costco, made two different varieties at home, and rented some big tureens. Super cost-effective and aesthetic! There are ways around this crazy industry.
Ya the number one thing that causes divorces is financial troubles. Over spending on the wedding starts your marriage literally on divorce potential grounds.
Brett and I align so much on wedding planning values! We had 100 attendees because I wanted all the people we were closest to there but we had people that we knew provide as many of the services as possible according to their specialties. It was so special and attendees told us it was the best party ever.
Got married in a church at a cost about $6000 (including honeymoon) where the wedding dress and bridesmaids dresses were sewn and food - photography done by friends and family. Did the same for my 4:28 daughter as well for about the same cost. The higher the cost, greater chance for divorce.
We got married in a public park, on a Wednesday, with only about 15 people (parents, siblings, nieces and nephews). Then just went to a simple restaurant after. Cost about $1000 and I wouldn't change a thing. I couldn't imagine spending a ton of money. We just wanted to be married!
Coming up on 9 years ❤
This sounds so beautiful, praying for your lasting love.
I actually love that, having a small wedding plus I'm an introverted person. I think that I will had done the same thing.
honestly that's what my ex and i wanted for our first wedding, but parents and family got involved. hopefully my next wedding, whenever that will be, will much small and simple.
If I could go back, I would have gone this route. The number of people who attended my wedding that I don't even talk to is crazy.
Beautiful. I wish you happiness and strength for the hard times, hang on and always, trust each other and be honest.
I attended a wedding once, that was in the backyard of the couples house. They had put up a tent, rented a slush ice machine (this was in the middle of july, and total summer weather), invited the priest to their home and had the ceremony there, and the rented a hotdog truck that served everyone hotdogs for the rest of the day. It was awesome.
Invited the priest and had the ceremony there? You cannot do that as a Catholic. Holy Matrimony is a Sacrament and is to be done in God's House the Church. I love everything else though about the backyard celebration.
@@ashleyslack5960 well I guess not everyone has the same faith 🙃
Bro, hot dogs?! I went to a friend's wedding last month, and I had to google part of every dinner option because they were so fancy. The food was great, but I was like, "Man, I honestly just want hot dogs at my wedding. I know what they are and I like them."
@@ashleyslack5960 Every house should be Gods house
@@ashleyslack5960
Came to point out the same thing, but remembered the celebrant could have been an Episcopal or Anglican priest. Not Roman Catholic.
I think some women want a wedding more than they want a marriage.
a wedding is like a first birthday, it's the mark in life that's supposed to lead to happily ever after.
27 dresses yo
Easy, hold wedding themed and bachelorette's parties. They're fun.
I'm still replaying my spouse's mother's words "I loved my wedding, it was all about ME!" Well, she's divorced now.
@@Bonsqueesquee Totally agree for most cases, the bride just wanna be queen
And forgets that the point of a wedding is all about the couple,
celebrating as a couple.
One of the best decisions my husband and I made was having some old ladies at our church plan our wedding. We sat down with them once, gave them an idea of what we wanted, told them to keep costs low. Then let them have fun so we didn't have to stress. We got to make sure we had the meaningful moments we wanted without having to worry about overwhelming details like decor. Getting married at our church was free, we just paid the people individually who provided services. About $250 total. The way they did food was a bunch of the ladies got together and cooked something in the church kitchen for us. The leftovers were used for the churches luncheon the next week, charging us only the cost of what was consumed. If you know midwestern church lady cooking, you know how yummy it was. We supplied them with a couple of bottles of wine to enjoy while cooking :) I bought my dress online second hand and it was gorgeous. Neither of us like dancing and didn't want our memories clouded by alcohol, which also cut down costs. I had a friend who's like a second mom take pictures and she wouldn't accept a penny for that and she even made a photo album and video for us. My mom baked cupcakes and even without a ton of frosting experience, you can make them look cute. All in all, we paid roughly 1k for our wedding in 2021. Oh yeah and we were only engaged for 3 months.
I would love being one of those older women!
@@lelamaciolek1166 They had a blast. All their kids were already married but they got the chance to have that fun experience again
Now that's a beautiful story.... :D
You guys were ready to rock so soon, but you guys were smart about it for sure and glad for ya!
Sounds like what we did at our wedding. One of my wife's subtle helped organize, some of her other family made a simple but good cake, it was in her grandparent's church, and her uncle did the service. Then family on both sides pitched in to pull it off.
We were also only engaged for about 7-8 months, and the only reason it was that long is because we waited till after my wife finished her last semester in college.
Then for honeymoon went to the Vegas area (got timeshare cheap) to explore the parks/ history of the area. (We didn't care about the strip or usual Vegas stuff)
That is so beautiful ❤
The pandemic saved us. We were only allowed 10 guests. We spent $500-$700 and have no desire to redo our wedding now. It was brilliant. No stress no real planning and done! Been married for 4 years now.
we did the same. We took advantage of pandemic so we can get married with my wife and best decision ever! It saved us from all the stress of preparations and gathering all our families together since we lived from differnt parts of the country. Cost us about less than $200 for everything and wouldn't want to redo it especially with the economy now and we just had our 1st baby.
You must love China a lot then.....
Everyone I know who had a quiet covid wedding (me included) loved it. The only sad part was my mom couldn’t make it
Same though we had most everybody we wanted at the ceremony, we just did a small family party at my in-laws afterword.
For power hungry governments to tell you you could only have ten people at your wedding is so wrong. Not saying you should have had more but that’s a sucky reason
100% Brett. We got married this year and managed to spend only half of what we budgeted(which wasn't too exorbitant). We did it completely our way, despite many voices telling us it was virtually impossible to have the kind of wedding we desired with such a small budget. Cut to a month after and so many guests are still raving and saying it was one of the best weddings they've ever attended. Weddings are a celebration and celebrations are supposed to be fun, not stressful. Love your channel, Brett. Keep shining.
As long as you pay attention to your guests comfort (including ways to keep little ones quiet and entertained at their family's table) they will remember and rave about it. Some of our relatives are still raving about our wedding over 7 years later despite fancier family weddings since.
My husband and I got married during the 2008 recession. We said no to the wedding industry and had a courthouse wedding with our immediate family and closest friends. My side of the family wasn't happy and accused 18 year old me of being pregnant the entire time. 😂 We weren't having a shotgun wedding, we were just best friends and knew we wanted to be together forever. I have zero regrets. We just celebrated 16 years together last month. The wedding, itself, isn't the important part. It's the commitment to one another that matters.
My husband and I got married in 2008 too!! Kept it simple, just 70 guests, my aunt made my dress, just baby's breath and grapes for decorations, rented a very pretty park/villa for 200 euros: it was beautiful!! Everyone at my wedding too thought I was crazy because I was 21 😂 Celebrating our 16th anniversary on Columbus Day, 3 kids and going strong!!
😭😭👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾💛💛
@@lexiefdf123👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
2008 bride here too. But the recession did not hit Canada so hard at the time. We ended up with the big, white wedding even though I didn't really care either way. My mom and dad (well, my mom) had a blast planning everything and I just went along. It WAS fun. I know we're putting those down now and it was popular putting them down then too. I didn't want one but having had it....yeah, I had a great time. My mom was so worried her brothers would trash her for "being cheap" and I knew that was not an unfounded fear so I let her do what she wanted to make things easier for her. I knew I wanted to get married in the church I grew up in. That part was important.
🙋🏼♀️Eloped 2015. Happily ever after!
I had a big wedding in a small way. We used the Ancient Spanish Monetary in Miami (beautiful venue) giant cake and dancing in the middle of a Friday with 20 of our closest friends & family. I wore the gorgeous gown & he wore a tux. It felt luxurious to be having this slow moving afternoon while everyone else was at work. This coming February will be 30 years. 💍🩷
Two years to plan a wedding? It took less time to plan the D-day invasion of Normady. Your not liberating France ladies.
😂☠️
Spot on
The marriage will not last 2 years...
I was going to jump in and say "well they were planning on a direct invasion since 1942 with operation Sledgehammer"... Oh wait, that was still only 2 years!!
they dont know where normandy is
This is the best response I've seen😂😂
We ran away to get married. My dad always said “why spend all that money for a party and get a $5 toaster?” I agree.
My literal thought process. I was trying to explain to my boyfriend that weddings cost a lot depending on what you do. I haven't told him what I wanted and he already assumed that I want an expensive wedding.😒
Got married in my back yard. And made a taco bar for the food. Only close family used covid as an excuse to limit the invites. Lol 10 10 2020
Nice! I wanted 8.8.2020 but it was too close to graduation
Married in a tiny chapel right before covid, reception at a bar/grill. I feel ya, tbh taco bar sounds amazing.
@@ontheraggedy I'd make the taco meat. Both my chicken and beef taco meat is f-in delicious. Well seasoned and hearty.
I got married on the same day!!! 😁
I asked my church to prepare fancy finger food. They wanted to help, so I gave them something to do. I don't have stuck up family or friends, so it never occurred to me to worry what people thought. That was 23 years ago, but the weddings people were doing was more than we could afford even then, and I've never regretted it.
This spoke to me on such a personal level. We've been engaged for 9 months and I feel we've had very few moments we've been able to enjoy together stress free lately. We get married in 1 week and I'm so ready for it to be over!! Family members requiring us to comply and accommodate their opinions, thoughts and feelings on our dime and time will forever be my biggest regret.
I paid $89 to the county superior court to marry my husband, and that was all. We put our money into starting our life together. We want to have a reception once we hit 10 years when we renew our vows. No two weddings are alike and that's okay.
@@snappy_gilmore love your idea! My husband and I are planning something similar at 10 years. Only 4 years away now…probably should start thinking of saving for it lol
Be careful. We were planning on the same thing, but covid lockdowns ruined it.
That was me too!
That seems to be a popular option. Less stress and very easy to do. At the 10 year anniversary, it's just a party at that point anyways. The wedding part is primarily for the couple, promising themselves to the other. And everything else is for everyone else.
@@DisplacedUnderDog yes for sure. I’m glad it was just me and my husband with a couple of friends to witness.
25 years married here… met hubs online in 1998, married 11 months later in my home parish with about 100 family/friends… a small finger-food and cake reception in the church hall, followed by a dress-down barbecue at my parents’ home, where we stayed till almost midnight opening all our gifts in front of guests. My cheeks were sore from smiling ear to ear for so long; it was so much fun! It’s all about the people who care about you who are celebrating your union, and the life you are planning together.
I got married in the front yard of my dads business😅 Costco cake and flowers, dress online ($80), catered from a local restaurant that ended up being about $12/plate, and we just got snacks for before. We also had friends be our bar tenders and everyone said it was the funnest wedding they ever went to. Not many weddings also have a mechanical bull and archery tag😂
Sounds like a blast 😅
Last commenter took the words right out of my mouth
My cousins got married in her family's horse barn. My other cousins got married at their church. You don't have to go insane with the planning and location. Our fam runs a greenhouse, I'll just be getting my flowers from there.
the best part of our wedding day was the drive home to our new apartment and getting to lay down in bed next to each other and go to sleep!
weddings are overrated. marriage is underrated.
Yeeeeeeessssssss!!!!!!!!!
Absolutely!!
Very unrelated but as a teenage girl, I love Brett so much, she literally is the reason I learned more about how to think, and I’m so glad I started watching. I don’t have to agree with everything she says, and I think that’s awesome! Please keep up the amazing work!!
She tells a lot of truth. The mainstream Media has an AGENDA, and has no problem lying to you to manipulate you.
May I ask how you found her videos? I didn't start getting reccomended content like this until after I reached adulthood and I'm very curious about how a teenager finds videos like this, and what draws a teenager to click on said videos. Sorry if that's a weird question, and it's ok if you don't remember, hahaha
@@MayBlake_Channel Oh, it’s not weird at all, there’s no reason to apologize!! I watch this other channel called Misha Petrov and Amala’s channel, and I really liked video essays about the rise of anti-intellectualism with the rise of modern feminism/liberalism! I just happened to see a video one day and thought it was interesting, and now I literally can’t stop watching them!!
i love how happy and joyful Brett was when she told us about her wedding day. i’m sure it was nothing but magical. i think it’s true that the wedding industry is getting out of hand but i do believe that there are still brides & grooms out there who don’t gaf about others and just focus on their own happiness and their own people. be like Brett. be happy and joyful on your wedding day. it’s your wedding day for goodness sake
My husband and I decided that we would not put on a big show for everyone and eloped to Las Vegas. It was I love you, you love me lets just do this and get on with our lives together. We were married for 20 years until he passed.
so sorry to hear about your loss
So sorry about your loss🙏🏽 Sounds like you had such a beautiful wedding day and beautiful marriage ❤️
I am so sorry for your loss.
A las Vegas wedding sounds awesome ❤
We were extremely blessed to have my parents pay for our wedding. We were married in our church for free, we held the reception in our community center that we decorated well, my cousin took the photos, and my dress was on clearance. The whole process was affordable for my parents, which was important to me, and it was perfect. The most important part were the moments with my husband and family that I will never forget.
My wedding was 5k including my dress and food. We had 120 people. It wasn’t big and flashy. It’s doable
Same budget, 50 people, but we were engaged for 20 days 😂 most of that went to the venue
What year and location did you have your wedding?
@@hello1943what year and location? Just curious as these all sound great but I know the year and location play a huge factor to the costs
Our budget exactly, including honeymoon!
We did the same but fewer people because of covid. Honestly it would have been cheaper without covid because my church venue canceled and I had to find a new one that was more expensive. It ended up nice though!
I might be in the minority but here is what I think. That big fancy wedding is for the guests, not the "happy" couple. Elope, go to the Courthouse, or, here in Kentucky we can get married by a Magistrate, in Florida a Notary can perform weddings. Do one of those. Have a family member or friend take photos. Then once you are married have a get together for family and close friends. Heck, make it a cookout, do something fun that everyone will enjoy. Stop going into debt just getting married. Save the money for a down payment on a house or save it for the future.
Issue is people want to be THE bride and not THE wife
Exactly! They dream about their wedding day and not the following days.
you have issues, man.
Look at the sad Incel hijacking a story on the high cost of weddings to put down women he doesn’t know.
This is so true
Men want a wife and a baby but they don’t want to be a husband and father !!!
I love watching and listening to you talk about ur wedding! It’s refreshing to see someone close to my age express what I’ve been thinking about on social media!
Oh, I will say one thing. The good thing about weddings being stressful is that you get to see how the other handles stress along with the in-laws. This is good because stressful things will happen in life, not all the time, but it will and it's good to have a glimpse before getting married. Just remember though, no one is perfect.
One of my favorite weddings ever was a lot like yours in that family and friends gave what they could and helped my then-roomie put together an amazing wedding/reception that was so her and her husband. That was nearly 30 years ago, and getting to be a part of the inner workings of that wedding and how beautiful it turned out, are still some of my most treasured memories. They are still happily married and their kids are now grown. It's sad that we've lost so much of that now. It's too much about the perfect IG wedding, and too little about prep for a lifelong commitment. Appreciate your sharing your story, Brett.
I have the answer: delete your social media account. You will live without it I promise. You may also find yourself healthier and happier for it. Go out and visit a friend, go to church, take a real, phone free hike. And please, for your own sake, have a social media free wedding and marriage.
The real answer right there. Seeing as how most of the complaints about expectations are centered around social media
This. I mean, I still like Facebook to stay connected to things happening locally, but I don’t follow everyone I went to school with anymore. And obviously TH-cam but for videos like this.
Gotta have a phone on a hike in case of a serious emergency
Just made me more pissed off and miserable. I'm still with Bae 13+ years and not married with 4 children while they're all 30 getting married and doing it "the right way" and not inviting me. So... gonna be a snob and not watch, not entertain their "special" moments and focus on making my own more meaningful.
100% agreed💯 I blame social media for all this. People are romanticizing unrealistic standards and if they are not met, they spend their time and even their wedding day being upset about it, it's ridiculous. social media is the reason for all this comparison of who did better and showoff.
Brett is just spitting facts out here!!! About a month into planning my wedding, I realized not only was the cost of everything literally insane and unaffordable for me and my now husband, but also the focus was no longer on us and our life together, but about this big party. Therefore, I decided I wanted a small, intimate wedding. When I told my now husband this, he said he felt a wave of relief and we agreed this was what we really wanted. We had a beautiful and intimate ceremony at our church and a stunning reception with our closest friends and family (20 people) at a local restaurant. To this day, we have no regrets and we only spent a FRACTION of what we would have had we planned the big elaborate wedding. And the best part was that I got to spend the whole wedding planning process just excited to be married to the love of my life and not stressed and angry all the time from planning. ❤️
I love reading this. I'm glad to see some people using common sense. I never wanted a big wedding myself, even as a youngster when other girls were looking at bridal magazines I knew that wasn't for me. It never made sense to me to spend so much money on a big party for everyone else. Whenever I went to big wedding receptions it never really seemed like the bride & groom were actually enjoying themselves. I wanted to enjoy my wedding day.
We planned our wedding in 3 months. We got engaged on Tuesday and by Saturday we had 1. My dress .2 Our bridal party 3. Our ceremony venue 4. Our reception venue 5. Our officiant 6. Our rings. It doesn’t have to be long and drawn out
It always makes me smile when I tell people that my mother and my cousins/aunts/gramma/great aunts homemade (or thrifted) almost my whole wedding. All the (fake) flower arrangements, all the signage and table settings, the seating chart, everything! My dad even made a badass Photo backdrop out of thrifted records. That made me proud and I felt so loved 💖 and very cost effective 😀
May 2020 bride here! All our wedding plans got thrown out the window because of COVID lockdowns and honestly... couldn't have been more grateful! Planning was getting really stressful and overwhelming. Ended up getting married in my in-laws backyard with only our Pastor and closest family members as witnesses. It was very special! :)
Not me tearing up about the barn raising description 😭 as if I didn’t already love your videos, I love them even more now
Me and my future wife will be getting married in a Catholic Church. Beautiful and extremely affordable.
$100 to the church, probably another $100 to rent the parish hall... $200 for a venue.
@@brigidwenner6847 That's extremely affordable.
We had a beautiful wedding in the Catholic Church I grew up in this past spring. My parents were married there. I received all my sacraments there now including Holy Matrimony. My grandparents attended the same church and both of their funerals took place there. Very special.
Tuesday church wedding for son. I held it together until even the priest got teary eyed.
My husband gave just about everyone who touched my sons wedding a check or a check with thank you gifts i hand made. Our donations went to support the poor and help turn a motel into family housing with a playground. Beats paying a wedding venue hands down.
I love that you’re talking about this. “People over product.” Beautiful!
I’d rather have a small wedding that happens sooner in an old American church, but maybe that’s my anti-social guy nature lol
I don't think marriage and antinsocial guy go together bud, but I might be a contrarian
Not anti social you just don’t need to show off
YES - get married in the CHURCH.
Brett always speaks exactly what I’m feeling. These opinions are so refreshing to listen to because sometimes I feel alone in how I feel
Such a beautiful wedding story! I love that you had everyone in your life so involved!
I planned my wedding in three months, and man, it was stressful. I didn’t really have time to shop around for a dress, so I got one that I felt like a princess in and called it good. 😅 I actually wish that my wedding had been a bit smaller! The day was so crazy and so packed with people and things to do that I kind of just got swept up in everything happening instead of just enjoying the day. But, my wedding was amazing! I love looking back at our pictures! 🥰
Hey Brett, Congratulations on you getting married!! I am a dj for (37 years) and I like what you said what you did with doing the Parents Dances before the The First Dance so you can go right in open dance floor. I think I'm gonna use that in my future weddings that I dj at.
My husband and I eloped! It was the best decision ever!
My husband and I eloped about 3 months before my baby brother got married. I said something to him about eloping vs wedding and his partner had told him that if he wanted to elope, he could do it with someone else cause she wouldn't be hidden away like that. At the end of their reception, I asked how they were doing and they both wished they had eloped 😂😂
My cousin eloped with her hubby right after college and are still happy together with two handsome boys almost 2 decades later. her parents were strongly against her marrying interracially but have since reconciled after the grandkids were born.
@@steph3098 that’s honestly hilarious! Eloping is the WAY to go!
@@HigumaHoney so glad to hear that there was reconciliation between the family!
@@ChelseaMilton yah, it's typically what happens. asian families can be really prejudiced against interracial relationships, but then reconcile once the grandchildren are born.
I got married in May. I am the oldest in my immediate family and am the first to get married. Wedding planning was so stressful!! I totally relate to you saying you'd stress and stress over how to save money or what you could do differently, etc.
We got really lucky and my parents gave us a lot of money to pay for everything, and his parents covered flowers and our rehearsal dinner which was so nice!! Things add up so quickly and it got overwhelming fast.
My future husband and I are having a traditional, Greek Orthodox wedding in Greece!!
I got married in my backyard greenhouse (which we built ourselves from locally sourced/thrown out supplies) with about 15 guests. I spent under $4,000 with many thrifted items and I live in CA. It was so much more intimate and beautiful this way.
I love this! Weddings are just the beginning of a wonderful life together. My husband and I got engaged at the end of June and got married in the middle of October. It was a pretty hectic time but two years later I’m still being told that people had so much fun. We had burgers and a Costco cake, I barely had time to eat so I did not care about the food! My only regret is not wearing my glasses or getting contacts, but my husband looks at me the same way he did at our wedding so that’s okay. Preparing for marriage and doing premarital counselling was much more important than any detail of the day
I resonate with a lot of what you said Brett. We got married in 2005 and we made our budget about $1500. I think we spent a little bit more than that, but my home church let us have the wedding and reception there for free. A lady in my church made our cake for free. We paid photographer that we knew, and it wasn’t much. It was a beautiful and very intentional wedding. And 19 years later, we are still happily married and have four wonderful children.
Yeah i just got married in June and the whole thing was insane. The whole insustry is crazy.
Congratulations on the marriage!!
Congratulations! My husband and I also got married in June
@@felicityengel8812 congrats to you as well!!!
🎶 🎵 They say when you marry in June, you're a bride all your life, and the bridegroom who marries in June gets a sweetheart for a s wife. 🎵 🎶
Same here! Our wedding was basically funded by our families but everything came out to like $20k for an average wedding in Los Angeles (we had a lot of friends and family we wanted there). And that was on the cheap side. It was insane!
Love how you kept it local, helping out the community you lived in and the people in your lives and they were all too happy to help you out, it seems. ❤😊😊❤
A marriage is a metaphor for Christ Jesus relationship to the church.
It’s a reflection of that, yes. Not just a metaphor.
They need a divorce. The Catholic Church made that assumption. Jesus doesn’t need a church. Nature is his ‘church’
Not really. When I had sex with my husband, I can assure you that I didn't imagine me as a "metaphor" for a church and him as a "metaphor" for Jesus.
In your mind maybe, but Mariage has been a thing waayyyy before Christianity, and it many different cultures around the world.
Also, women have to be natural and dress modestly, not only men.
Got married in May during COVID and also used it as an excuse to invite fewer people (I see others have done that too in the comments). We paid for the entire day ourselves, had both the ceremony and the reception at an Airbnb, and like Brett, most of what we had done was by people we know and love. All in all, it was around $5k and I wouldn’t change a thing still to this day. Why start your marriage in stressful debt, esp when the #1 reason for divorce is finances?
17:19 my grandma made my cake and it was so special to me! I actually got to help her do it. It was such a fun process!!
We eloped on February 29, 2020 (2 weeks before the pandemic) outside of a random church because it had a ton of trees, and it was beautiful. We are military, so no family around us.
I genuinely never "dreamed" about my wedding. I didn't care much about the idea of one. I'm so glad we eloped. So intimate and the officiant made our ceremony so special for us. We barely paid anything, just the marriage license and officiant, lol.
Wow, members of my church are so lucky!
We tend to get married quickly after getting engaged, like, within 4 months. Why wait once you've committed?
We get married in our temples, for free, with a maximum of 20-30 people in attendance.
Then people typically have receptions in our church's gyms (decorated, to be sure, but still free as far as the location is concerned). Some people, like myself, rent a reception hall, but that's also much less than the price tags quoted here!
We marry for the covenant we're making with our spouse and God, more than for the show. And thank Heaven we do, apparently!
Side note: I heard once that the more expensive the wedding and reception, the less likely a couple is to stay together long-term. I'm unsure as to the veracity of that statement, but it's an interesting thing I've not been able to forget ever since hearing it.
I’m also LDS, and coming up to an age to be married soon. And I am literally so excited that my future wedding won’t be so expensive since we have such beautiful temples. And it’s so easy to make the church gyms look stunning! You are so right about this!
Fellow church member! Hello friend! I have thought about the avoided costs I will have for my eventual wedding.
Memeber here! 👋
My Dad had a guy literally teach a lesson about how cost-effective it is to be married in the temple compared to the world. I have always loved the image 😂😂
Best part, my dad was on his mission!
Fellow Latter Day Saint and I feel the same way about the options we have for weddings. Our budget was $1500 for dresses, food, flowers, decorations, all of it 18 years ago. I’m Polynesian so most of the budget was to provide a feast for about 100 people. Most of the rest of the details were done on the cheap or from generous people who let us borrow things or gifted us stuff. I’m so grateful! We focused on the marriage covenant for that special day and then a fun, but low key party to celebrate with our family and friends. We planned it in 3 months too. It is possible! Simple is better. ❤️
@@lisaroper421that is awesome!
My mother told me that weddings and building a home and picking out colors are the same, both are done for everyone else’s opinion but the person/s it’s actually for.
weddings aren't about you, it's about your parents.
@@HigumaHoney huh? interesting. the ceremony where you celebrate the union of you and your spouse isn't about you, but rather about your parents, who may not be alive/active in your life. that's quite an interesting opinion
@@HigumaHoneyWeddings are about the couple, AND their parents, AND extended family, AND friends, AND the local community.
No one forces you to have a wedding though. Just have a wedding that you dream of and only invite the people who wish you well. And if you don’t want a wedding at all then just get married without it.:)
But probably depends on what country you live in. I get if the culture is harsh and makes you do certain things.
Anyways, good luck:)
We will be getting married in March of 2025. We got together at the beginning of 2022 and engaged within 7 months. The only reason we waited was because of the pressure from family and feeling like we had to spend so much and save so much to have this big, grand wedding. Now that we have been engaged for over 2 years, we are looking back and wishing we hadn't given into all of the pressure with feeling like we had to cater to our family and basically go into debt for something that will only last a day. We got fed up with all the waiting and choose a day that was good for our families and caterers. If people couldn't make it, we didn't mind one bit. We just want to be married and have a good time. We both love each other very much and wished we had gotten married sooner. We are now just going to have our wedding at our church where we met. We don't have to pay a penny to our church, but we still wanted some type of party where everyone can eat, mingle, and go crazy on coffee (we both love coffee and are having a coffee bar!!) and our church has a very large backyard that is perfect. I personally didn't want to spend more than $1k for a dress and found a lovely dress on Azazie for under $700 that is just my style along with an engagement party and bridal shower dress costing about $100 each. The wedding industry indeed has made weddings feel like it has to be big, grand, and expensive otherwise it's, "cheap." I'm glad to see a lot more people saying, "hey. I'm an average worker who isn't rich and just wants to be married. I can't spend $10-20k+ on a wedding. We are DIY'ing a lot of things and now it's under $8k!" Lots of caterers are insanely expensive. I had spoken with a wedding coordinator, and she was charging me about $12k for only the main wedding stuff after I had specifically told her we didn't want to spend more than $7-8k. After I had voiced my thoughts saying everything was expensive and I wouldn't be able to pay for it and would like cheaper alternatives, she ghosted me lol that was when I said to hec with it, and we are doing it our way. If I have to DIY, then I will.
Loved your input! You were spot on with everything!
Crazzzzzyyy that Brett makes a video about this as I’ve been engaged for barely over a month and have had a few breakdowns because of wedding planning and how crappy the industry is. As my fiancée would say, it feels like cancer. 🙃 I’m thrilled to be engaged, but the costs are absurd.
maybe plan a destination wedding overseas where the venues and catering are much cheaper, and you can limit your guest list because people have to rsvp and pay for their own plane tickets and accommodation. i think only your real family and real friends would bother to attend.
@@HigumaHoney Unfortunately our families and friends would not be able to handle the cost of that. We would rather have the people we love surround us than make it harder for them to come. Thank you though!
SAME! Even trying to find blogs on "micro" weddings or budget weddings is stressful!
@@HigumaHoneyI have been looking into international wedding to save on the cost but sadly, it is the same if not more expensive than getting married here. At this point I am lost and I just want to elope
@@laryleidys Then elope & jist plan a reception/party at a local brewery or park! Provide cake & just have fun!!
the way you described your wedding; would love to see video...normally im not a fan of weddings, but it sounded amazing.
I am single, but I lived through all my friends getting married 10-15 years ago and it was like, the ultimate one up Pinterest perfect competition. Mind you, these were couples and families that genuinely cared about the marriage, but there was so much pressure to do SO MANY things. All the cute decorations and hashtags and Photo Booths and on and on. A lot of it was driven by the mothers of the bride, perhaps because most of the brides were younger. At age 35, if I get married, the small elopement I’m paying for myself sounds lovely.
simple weddings are the best
I love this. My wife and I got married in the backyard of one of her uncles. My wife comes from a creative family. It was such a blessing to have everyone use their creative talents to make our day special. It was also a blessing to not have to stress about it because I knew that everyone involved loved us and wanted to make our day special. Our wedding was small but the whole thing was perfect! Our biggest splurge was on the honeymoon.
Currently planning my wedding and def realizing all the unnecessary costs 😂 like just the paper alone, I’m only doing wedding invitations but the knot is trying to advertise
1) save the dates
2) wedding invites
3) RSVPs
4) wedding info cards
5) bridal shower invites
6) thank you cards
Like what 😂 no, I’m doing invites and then the rest will be on our website or done in person.
And let’s not forget the “budget venues” that cost $2500 BUT if you want the decor and everything else that makes the setting pretty to be included then it’s an extra $3800 🤣
I was just talking to my husband the other day about how cheap our wedding was (1995). We threw it together in 2 months and I sent out fill in the blank wedding invitations 😂😂 I think it cost under $10.
Right?! I'm advocating for PDF invitations that I'll make on Canva and emailing them out to people. "Click to RSVP" 😅
Don't you and 99% of everyone you know have email addresses?
@@ambersolomon7942A PDF ? Why not just plain text readable in anything.
@@gaiuszeno1331 Exactly.
Wow! $100k? we spent 10k and I thought that was a lot! here in NZ weddings aren't such a crazy thing. 100% right Brett.
My husband and I got married in our first apartment. His parents, mine, and our siblings. Been happily married for 11 years. No regrets I honestly would’ve gotten eloped as well 😅
We had always joked about getting married on a Wednesday (I am a teacher and that is my "early day"). Anyway, we got married in the summer, at the courthouse, on a Wednesday- only parents allowed. Went to a nice dinner afterward and a week later had a BBQ for family and friends to celebrate. We have always done things our way and that just makes me love it more. Your wedding photos are so gorgeous and seeing the red bird, oh my goodness, how perfect! Blessings for you guys on this beautiful journey.
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Commenting for engagement so this gets attention
Not all heroes wear capes 👏🏾
Laughing in TH-cam Vanced auto Skip 😏 😈
Brett is the queen of repeating too much in her ads 😩
@@ArcherMVMaster saaameee
We got married in 2020 in our backyard under a big maple tree, then had the reception in our polebarn with dollar general decorations and fed everyone venison burgers. Our close friends and family were there, we played music and danced and ate cake. I did my own makeup, a friend did my hair, and I had no stress. I've never had more fun and it was the best day of my life. Every year I take a "propeller" seed from the maple tree and sprout it, I now have 4 tree saplings to plant at our forever home someday ❤️
My wife and I had a 100 guest wedding, planned in 9mo, for less than $25k in the middle of 2020. We had a great planning experience, fantastic time, and happy guests. It’s possible
Im planning my wedding, and I don't think it will cost us more than $4k. 😅
Most people could never afford a wedding that expensive! (25k) I went into debt planning my wedding that was around 9k and regret it! If I could go back, I would forget the wedding and Elope. I would make it about only me and my husband and not about throwing our family and friends a party.
Me and my Fiancée are currently planning our wedding, with also around 100 guests, and we’re at around 25k. Thankfully we’re not in debt, but it is tiring and very stressful. Getting married May 30th next year, and we’re already feeling quite burnt out. That cost was the minimum of what we were looking for sadly.
We’re both working jobs and doing school. It’s quite a handful
That sounds exactly like my best friends wedding! There were no bridesmaids or groomsmen other than the MOH (me) and the best man. I threw a bridal shower for her, but she didn’t want an engagement or bachelorette party. Her parents made ALL the food (including the cake) for the wedding and rehearsal dinner, and we did all the floral arrangements and decorations. There were maybe 75 people at the wedding, and it was truly a perfect day.
25k ? Um… not sure that’s possible for the average person today but ok
I was just praying to God about getting married and how I wanted Him to guide me in the process and then this video showed up! Confirmed my desire to have a cute courthouse wedding and go on an exciting honeymoon. I don’t want to wait months or years, I want it done in 6 months or less. I’m ready to have a marriage convanent with the love of my life and my savior. Nothing else matters. Not what others want, not a venue, not photos. Just the beginning of a beautiful and hopefully long journey with my husband.
Waited 22 yrs for my wedding, just a small personal intimate wedding. Backyard BBQ with close friends and family
We got married in April of 2020, COVID wedding, ten people in attendance. It was beautiful, perfect, and everything it needed to be. We didn’t have a photographer, we didn’t have a huge reception, we didn’t have a honeymoon. I do wish more people could’ve been there with us, but it was the most beautiful wedding experience ever. We got married in the small town church we dreamed of and our priest said recently that it is his favorite wedding ever.
Brett's wedding reminds me of that one scene from Father of the Bride where George imagines his daughter having a BBQ wedding and everyone gets so offended that he would even consider something like that. 😂
I was thinking of that movie the entire time she was talking.
We had 22 guests on one long table and it was perfect 💜 We spent the money we would have had on catering for more people on having a 2 day wedding abroad. I couldn't get on board with the idea of having loads of people I'd hardly met staring at me at such an intimate moment, because "if you invite so and so you have to invite their nephew", and spending the reception going from table to table exchanging small talk. We've been married almost 10 years and our friends still talk about how much fun they had 😍
My wedding is coming up. Well, not a wedding. It’s just my fiancé and I going to Colorado to officiate our own wedding and exchange vows in the mountains. No one other than us two and God.
4:50 Brett, you are proving my belief that the more you spend on a wedding factor into a how successful your marriage will be.
No shame in wanting a smaller intimate wedding. I'm in my late 30s and have bever been married. I absolutely want the larger more fancy wedding. Just the immediate family on my side would be almost 80 people, over 95% I know would be coming, so planning to do a 150 guest list as long as my future husband doesn’t have a huge family. I'm guessing we'll be spending around $30k. Since I know I want a nicer wedding, I have a wedding fund I put toward monthly as part of my savings. Still looking for Mr. right.
We had a back yard wedding! Rented a tent, I DIYed all the decorations, catered Mission BBQ and hired a local bartender. About 50 of our closest friends and family were there. It was beautiful.
I didn’t even had a DJ. I rented a Bluetooth PA system and hooked up my iPad to it playing an already existing wedding playlist.
Then I opened it up to the guests so they could select their own songs!
My husband and I did the same thing. We did a lot of things on our own and had our friends and family help. We splurged on a band. It was beautiful and a medium sized wedding but full of love and lots of fun. Not that expensive but we made it ours. And totally agree…STAY AWAY FROM TRADITIONAL WEDDING VENDORS. 😂 I swear the word wedding makes the price triple!!!
Same
We're getting married in November. We both knew our wedding venue immediately because it has so much meaning to us. We chose a campground on the lake where we often camp. It's cheap and means so much more than a random fancy building. We are going small as well and doing a lot of DIY. My mom is making my dress with fabric from her dress and my my grandmother's dress. Again, it's a savings of thousands of dollars and has SO much more meaning!
My husband & I met at church last Fall. We were quick with serious & productive conversations & discussed life goals. We were engaged in june and married in august! An outdoor ceremony, ,a brunch reception, & a cabin honeymoon ♡
What God put His hand ppm never comes confusion. Send it!
I recently got engaged and my fiancé and I have been discussing the same thing-an outdoor ceremony, a brunch reception, and a cabin honeymoon in the mountains.
Eloped after 2 months in New Orleans in a chapel in the French quarter. Managed to get 40 of our immediate family and friends to join. We had a welcome party Friday, ceremony Saturday, a wonderful catered meal at a nearby restaurant then danced to the music in the streets for the rest of the day. Some people joined, others relaxed and explored on their own. It’s possible to plan a wedding in a short amount of time. ❤ near or far❤
5:57 Brett takes a sip ☕️
I loooove that you answered some questions about your wedding! You’re such a level headed person I always imagined your wedding to reflect that. I’m getting married next your and this was such a good reassurance that my small hometown wedding will be exactly what my fiancé and I want. And I can’t wait for him to be my husband!
Highly recommend watching some indian weddings. No one cares about the couple they are there just for their enjoyment.
That's the root of why there are wedding celebrations. Back in the day, they'd throw huge wedding parties because the attendees would essentially be proof of the marriage. They didn't have marriage certificates back then. It's also the reason that Jesus turning water into wine, to keep the party raging, was considered a miracle.
We got engaged during 2020 and purposely planned a wedding in 3 months during 2020. We had 49 people including us, rented an Airbnb on a piece of property and had a pizza truck. After the ceremony we changed into jeans and a sweatshirt and had a bonfire and ate our pizza and desserts under a tent with twinkle lights and music playing lightly in the background. We loved it and our guests said they did too. It was intimate and sacred and we wouldn’t have don’t it any other way ❤
Social media has made so much toxic
Got married on a Tuesday in March barefoot on a California beach for free with just siblings, parents, and grandparents two months before baby arrived. 💗So sweet and stress-free, wouldn’t change a thing. My dad covered a really nice dinner for us all, his mom covered a honeymoon night for us in a historical boutique hotel. My brother was our videographer, sister in law photographer, and brother in law officiated. Basically, our family really showed up for us 💗
I always wanted a huge wedding but its not worth it. Just get married and be together for life
My husband and I spent $25 each on the marriage license and that was it. Our college campus pastor married us with the school photographer offering to take pictures and two of our friends as witnesses. One of the friends brought a small cake and we all had a good time. No regrets! My mom later held a small drop-in reception for us which was also fantastic. Very small and so personal. People loved it and like Brett said, people were able to be involved and feel part of our day in ways we couldn't have achieved going traditional.
Weddings and receptions are a waste of money. Think simple, focus on your new spouse instead of yourself. Weddings reveal how self centered brides and grooms can be.
i wanted a small and simple wedding, but oftentimes weddings are more about your parents than yourself.
No, not necessarily. Wedding ceremony and "receptions" or celebrating is as old as marriage itself. It outdates legal marriage, and was the epitome of officiating marriage for the majority of the people until very very recent history.
It is a way for everyone to celebrate an important life change, the uniting of two souls forever as one, the uniting of two families into one, in front of and with the families and loved ones and communities, incorporating the religious and spiritual beliefs as well.
And after, the loved ones would celebrate together, and this differed depending on the region and part of the world and time period, but across all regions there was a celebration after, sometimes for WEEKS, to support and celebrate such an amazing and permanent change, the start of a new family and the binding of 2 forever.
We as humans have Ceremonialized and celebrated important moments and changes since before it could even be documented in writing. Hell, we even celebrated good harvests every year! We celebrated children becoming adults, we celebrated people becoming parents, men becoming warriors, and so on.
It's a part of human nature and a way that we express and share and revel in our important and life changing moments socially, sharing these moments with our loved ones via fun, happy memories and ceremonies signifying the start of something new and good.
I believe what YOURE referring to, is specifically the materialistic approach some take to weddings, not wedding ceremonies and receptions as a whole.
There has never been anything wrong with ceremony and reception, as it has been around since the dawn of marriage itself, and is an inherent part of beginning a marriage and has been for nearly everyone for all of marital history.
The issue is a separate one all together, and is rather one of putting on a show to impress others and show off, to try to one up the next person, to fit into an aesthetic, and present yourself a certain way, to see a wedding ceremony as a social stepping stone rather than a ceremony and party celebrating a lifelong bond between a couple and a families, and the start of a new family all together.
Wedding can be simple but you need great food. An BBQ is where it's at. Lite the smoker and low and slow beef brisket and beef ribs. Make coleslaw, potatoe salad, have fresh fruit, and serve strawberry shortcake. Basically make sure all the food is an ten and you pick an time an place that's not hot or full of mosquitoes. Get married in the morning and have an fun lunch reception. Have it outside with a few activities for people to do and an area for the kids to run-around blowing bubbles. Have hay rides or something. Don't serve alcohol just tea, juice and lemonade. And if there's a body of water nearby it better be somewhere where people can fish. Be a wonderful day outside for everyone.
Lol. I asked my husband whether our fairly expensive wedding was a reflection of my selfishness, and he about bit my head off, because his family enjoyed it so much.
It's not just about you. It's about community
My husband and I got married last year at the courthouse, two weeks after being engaged. It was great and I loved that we were able to do it on a specific and special day that meant a lot to both of us. But afterwards we decided to do a little ceremony and party to share with our friends and family, and the whole thing stressed me out so much we decided to just do a dinner with our close family and it was the best option for us.
10:50
The way she says, “ObScEnelLY overpriced”. Is the the most dramatic way I have seen her say something. lol
But she's so right! I got quoted 11k for catering for 50 guests!! 😂😂
Love that people are talking about this!
My husband and I were married 10 years ago. We got engaged in the summer and were married less than 7 months later in the winter. We booked one of the simple halls in the area for only $500. It has tons of windows with a beautiful view of the city and river. Our total wedding cost, including my dress was around $6000. We never felt a need to compete or do anything other than be ourselves. So many family and friends blessed us by using their talents from making the bouquets, decorating the church, DJ’ing, to singing at our reception, and all the things in between from setting up to tearing down. We’ve gotten complemented for years about how beautiful our wedding was and how it’s one of the most memorable people have been to. We just let it be a relaxed celebration! And it was!
We got married on the lawn at church. 50 people in attendance. Made all the food, did all the flowers, set up/tear down. Biggest splurge was a photog for $1,200. Only $2,200 for the WHOLE wedding total.
My favorite wedding so far that I have been to was in someone’s backyard with a self-serve soup and salad bar under the porch. So peaceful and lovely.
YESSSSS 20 MINUTE BRETT COOPER VIDEO
I just got married, and I cannot tell you enough that planning a wedding was the most stressful time of my life. I loved spending time with my wife (now), but there were stressful discussions, and we almost had a postponement. We were able to pull it off, thanks to our family and friends. I will work my ass off to make sure that my wife and I spend the rest of our lives together because I love her, and I never want to plan another wedding again.
Best piece of advice I ever heard “do you want the wedding day or the marriage?”
A lotttttt of ladies need to ask themselves this when discerning being together with their boyfriend FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES!!!! 😮💨😪
utilizing personal relationships and friends to help with food, setup, decor, etc. was such a huge benefit for us! We were amazed by how willing people were to step up and contribute to our day, and it really made the day so much more meaningful for us to know we had so many people who loved us enough to pull it off.
Also, some advice: food would have been the major tipping point of our budget, but we settled on soup, salad, and bread for our guests! Bought some soup from Costco, made two different varieties at home, and rented some big tureens. Super cost-effective and aesthetic! There are ways around this crazy industry.
Ya the number one thing that causes divorces is financial troubles. Over spending on the wedding starts your marriage literally on divorce potential grounds.
Brett and I align so much on wedding planning values! We had 100 attendees because I wanted all the people we were closest to there but we had people that we knew provide as many of the services as possible according to their specialties. It was so special and attendees told us it was the best party ever.
Got married in a church at a cost about $6000 (including honeymoon) where the wedding dress and bridesmaids dresses were sewn and food - photography done by friends and family. Did the same for my 4:28 daughter as well for about the same cost. The higher the cost, greater chance for divorce.
No joke! An expensive wedding and extended engagement show the couple's priorities are askew from the outset!
Thanks for sharing your special day with us! Such a lovely window into your world - thanks for allowing us to share in your joy.😊