Going No Contact with Your Ex (and Trusting Your Decision)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ก.ย. 2022
- Going No Contact with your Ex (and trusting your decision) You went No Contact with your ex for your mental health. Now, a trusted friend says you’re overreacting. Who do you trust? Your friend, or yourself? Here’s the answer: #nocontact #trust #friends
Angela writes, “I shortly dated a guy, and I was totally hooked. It didn't work out and I went no contact when he wanted to stay friends. Our mutual friend admits his behaviour was not ok, but she can't stand that I think he didn't care, even if I know he's not a bad guy, and she says I'm overreacting. What do you do when the opinion of someone you trust makes you doubt yourself and prevents you from letting go?”
It's never easy going no contact and even more so when you're not sure that you're doing the right thing. How do you know what you should do and when? Should you trust your friends advice? Or should you trust your own intuition and inner guidance?
Getting to know contact doesn't happen easily especially if it's somebody that you really have cared for. It is a decision that has been made due to the negative effect that you experience by staying in contact.
Has staying in contact kept you living in hope and waiting for them to return? Has staying in contact hurt you as you have learned more about their new partner? Or are they abusive and each time they reach out to you and you accept a call or text, you are now engaging in their chaos, abuse, and narcissism.
This is how we choose whether we go no contact or not. The reasons must be solidly formed and makes sense to you in order for this to stick and for you to benefit from it.
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If someone hurts you deeply, go “no contact” immediately and don’t look back. If you leave a crack in the door, you will be used and taken further advantage of and most importantly, give power and control back to them.
That does happen quite frequently. By going No Contact with someone that was toxic, it allows the universe to redirect that energy to a healthier situation
Love you Susan !😘
I've stopped asking anyone for their opinion. I don't want the advice of friends or family anymore. I trust my own decisions.
That’s wonderful! Your soul knows what it wants and needs
❤
Some friends are jealous will give you a bad advice.
That is true Thomas. Everyone comes with their own baggage. Sometimes well-meaning friends are seeing through their own fears or their own naïveté
Family members can give you bad advice too. They might even want to 'force' you to do what they say and they get mad if you want to make your own desicions of what's best for you. Toxic family.
You don’t have to go and explain yourself so much to someone who just suddenly says let’s just be friends now.
Just be mysterious and in your own power to leave & disappear without explanation. They don’t deserve to know that you are hurt.
Thank you Susan. I’ve had the exact situation. Guy approached me twice, first really incorrectly, he tried a second time, made a bunch of promises, but we had an amazing connection and planned lots of things, after being intimate he pulled away and proposed to be friends. With my head I understood but with my heart it was hard, so I pulled back. After three months o have finally calmed down.
Love this video! It surprised me, like it represents so much more, than just what title discloses. Trusting in yourself, having confidence, believing in your Individualismus and intuition is so much important, it can be applied to every discipline in life. I am glad I heard this video today and were reminded by this powerful message!
Thank you Karolina!! I truly appreciate your beautiful commentary. And I’m really glad that the video was a value to you
Love that expression … individualismus!! 😀
My gf recently broke up with me very suddenly saying we were to different after what I thought was a very good relationship. We had been talking about marriage and the future. I tried to fight it at the moment, but was able to calm down and leave ammicably. We haven't spoken since which has been a week. This has hit me pretty hard as I loved her. She was great until she wasn't. It really sucks.
Hang in there for now. Expect to hit by myriad of emotions for the next few weeks. Stay strong. It does appear she’s thought through this a lot, so turning around for her isn’t going to be super quick.
Only you know what works for you.
Hi Jean. Nikka sends her love!!
@@SusanWinter Much love back to the sweet baby of yours. 🥰
Thank you for this video! It definitely can get overwhelming and all these opinions have stunted my process. Glad I came across this video.
Great content 👍
Disrespect and abuse is closure.
Yep, at the end of the day, you gotta make your decisions. Advice is nice, guidance can be helpful to teach you something you didn't think of. But you gotta figure out what works for you. Been following this channel for awhile and the best advice has been developing your own love model, which no one else can really do for you.
So true!! I appreciate this share.
Heya Susan. I don't know how you do it but your videos are so timely. Much love from the UK 🧡
Hi Drea. I absolutely love it when I read commentary like this. And I praise the universe for hooking us all up with synchronicity
You are so wise. I respect you immensely 💕🙏🏼
Thank you!
Favorited this to watch over and over. Exactly what we need to hear! 👍🏻❤️
thank you!!
Never ever push a friend to make decisions because if the decisions made one day be your fault in regret.
Great advice thank you for that!
How to get out of that loop I left a year and a half ago ,still feel the routine with ex narc like home comming home at 6,@12 he's having lunch,what time he goes to sleep. Ughhhhhh
Going no contact works when you have to take time away for yourself. If you don’t feel like yourself and you know a course correction needs to happen for you, no contact can be great to allow healing to occur for yourself. Rely on your friends and their advice when you know something is wrong and you can’t take action on your own to change.
Beautiful advice! It’s very important to have a solid support system in place to help you navigate a challenging time
Thank you for everything susan! Will you ever do a video about going into healthy relationship after only being in toxic ones?
I think it is nice topic, you can ask Susan for video Request on her page and then under contact tab, you can type your request video
Wow!
4:06-9:00 best thing I EVER HEARD ON TH-cam
Susan, you have a gift to feel the pulse of relationships.
What happens if you casually reach out to your ex (after a few weeks of no contact) and they are still harboring negativity towards you for things you may have done to cause them to break up.
What did you do?, don't casually reach out. Go cold turkey and she will reach out to you when you least expected. You need to make your life so busy that you won't have time to worry about them and what they are doing, the minute you master that, is the when they reach out. Trust you, trust no contact, trust the universe.
@@mickeyn757 I’d made mistakes , she felt hurt and broke up. I reached out after a few days and apologized. She appreciated that but didn’t want to come back. Then I casually contacted again after a few weeks and she was mad I was on a dating site.
@@speed0383 ask Susan for video Request on her page under contact tab. Sometimes she answers per email immediately. If she answers your comment here, would be also great.
I don't know, unfortunately I made similar mistake as you did, and have no solution to that.
If you truly loved someone you can’t make yourself that busy that you forget … it’s like An alcoholic trying to escape issues… one needs time to cry, mourn, heal.
@@speed0383 ya, i dont blame her, if you really wanted to fix it you would have changed your behavior and showed her you were willing to fight for her love a bit. Not been looking to date other people. She wants to know youve done the work to make sure you wont repeat those mistakes again. See a therapist and tell her you are seeing one and that you are going to change.
As always, a great video. Maybe one of your best ever. Wise words.
Thanks dude...and you're not boring!
Thank you for the kind words. I know I'm not boring.
Why do I have this feeling that you maybe the Indigo child? The first wave volunteers ~ Dolores Cannon
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