But divorce shouldn’t be the direct step “out” of marriage. Commitment also means learning to work things out together and sticking through thick and thin… getting counselling or therapy then if even with help the relationship is still tense or even abusive, it’s probably time to let go. But never directly to go for a divorce lah… the same problem might return with a different partner.
Usually not a podcast listener but I loved watching this and enjoyed listening to the discussion a lot! Each cast member brings something diff to the conversation👍🏻 GREAT JOB GUYS👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 hi John pls share the booklet ty HAHAHA
I super like the chemistry betw U 4, the flow is seamless and everybody is respectful with each other. Everyone contribute with ease. Subbing this channel!! Keep up the good content!
Counter question: Is there still a point to marriage IF married couples had NO additional benefits compared to non-married couples? (i.e. the right to declare oneself as family during hospital visits, tax claims, housing grants etc)
It is very similar to pre-marriage preparation courses or pre-marital counselling. Some of the courses out there are very superficial while others can be very very detailed. Not being religious but some of the best ones are those conducted by Catholic/Christian churches. Even though conducted by them, the courses are all very very worldly and not religious at all, and any member of the public can attend. I attended one before and decided to split with my gf after the course.
Love this show. Really really appreciate you guys for doing this. Its amazing how you guys who are of a similar generation, but walking on different paths of life bring different perspectives that represent our generation and voice em out, WITHOUT prejudice or judgement, and yet bring it across is such a light hearted and comedic tone is lovely. I rarely (almost never) comment on videos unless I feel strongly for something and I applaud your videos. The thumbs up ratios reflect that as well :) Jia you and keep up the good works guys :) Well done thus far!
I feel like part of why arranged marriages work may be because it comes from an agreement between families and as such familial support would be way higher
People who are willing to be subjected to arranged marriages already conform to what the families want from the beginning. Thus they are more likely to stay in a marriage even though they're unhappy just to please everyone else around them.
There is a very strong and powerful man who helped me bring back my ex-husband who left me a few months ago, and now my ex-husband is back. I am very grateful..
this is legit the best podcast ever, i love every one of the cast and its so balanced I love the different perspectives of different age groups, genders and everything! please keep it going!! you guys deserve to be huge!
Marriage is not only just a construct when the government has engineered it so that married couples enjoy more benefits in terms of housing, taxes, and government grants. This is why civil unions need to be a thing in Singapore. I don't see why areligious couple should be punished.
On the topic of diverging growth years down the road, isn't it a great thing? I mean both partners grow in their own ways and further strengthen the r/s with new stats. Like one could to super patient person who's great with kids, while the other could be a super planner that makes great family plans. Tackling life problems just like Maplestory party quest.
Engagement Encounter can only take you so far. Prior to marriage the couples' situation are different as compared to after 20-30 odd years of marriage where circumstances of each individual changes through time within their respective careers, child & parent care period, all these will manifest into problems over time that is difficult to resolve due to different values and respect for each other.
Does Jon say he doesn't care about marriage because he already knows the preconceived outcome? My mum has always told me the same and I thought it was pretty interesting to hear someone else in a similar sitch.
Ah Engagement Encounters! Glad my wife and I went through the 6 weeks version: Marriage Preparation Course It doesn't teach you how to love but what to expect. Basically there is a lot of sharings from couples on various aspects e.g. sex, pregnancy, money, etc [stuff that people tend to overlook before getting married] Of course there were couples who broke off their engagement during the course. However as what many people say better to end it before than after the marriage. Edit: the games that John mentioned were new. Mine had no songs. It lots of sharings + lessons Edit 2: the ring can be very reasonable if you make it yourself. I did a workshop where I designed and made the ring. Total cost: SGD 620 [Quite fun, my wife guessed it but didn't know the design nor when the proposal will be]
Marriage needs to be work on, like any other relationships, parent child, friends, siblings,..... it will not work out by itself. When you and your child has some problem, do u disown him? Walk out? Your partner is your family, your life partner. Both have to work it out.
Arranged marriages are less likely to end in divorce because it’s purely contractual. There doesn’t have to be love or happiness involved. And it’s normally one party that has to “give in”.
Brilliant topic and always awesome chemistry. Just wonder how topics are researched and then talked about before hand. Monogamy and the institution of marriage have not been around for as long as one might think. In fact, it is very unnatural in all mammal species and also practiced in a smaller percentage of all known human civilisation / culture throughout history.
Edit: Religion should not play apart and/ or influence on Marriage&Divorce laws. Just like how Quran law doesn't have a say in our M&D laws, Christianity shouldn't either. Here's the thing. Time together before marriage doesn't matter. How both parties handle it matters. Sometimes you marry fast and throughout the marriage you work out the difference. This is due to the fact that you're newly married you'll try to work it out and not just mention divorce so easily like breakups. Meanwhile being attached for so long, the feeling over time WILL fade and along the way the feelings that drift away will make you not feel obligated to make the marriage work
The fact that people allow arranged marriages already are putting others interest ahead of them. So they are more committed to the marriage for other reasons than their happiness and freedom
Who are you to judge another person's choice not to have children. Why do you assume it's trauma? Personally, I wouldn't have children myself because of how fucked the planet will be in my child's lifetime if I were to have one. I also believe that there are enough people on this planet as it is.
Why would you want a child when you're married. I think its really sad that this society likes to think that it is a must and some "blessing". No thanks..i'd rather have a dog. Less hassle.
To me, it makes no logical sense to have children now. The earth's resources can barely keep up with the ridiculous amount of consumption by humans, there's a lot of people already, holistically raising a child well is very expensive, time consuming and tiring, etc
its not about the trauma but the reason why you do not want kids. its too expensive to have kids plus the world is overpopulated or maybe the couple just wants to enjoy their time together and to do their own things without children. different people have different hopes, dreams and aspirations and kids could be the road block in achieving it. plus kids do not equal to happiness for some people and just because you decide to not have kids do not mean that you are a failure.
i too dont want kids for pretty much the same reasons: i never like kids, i like cats or animals in general better. the world is so messed up. look at our planet and humanity, so much conflicts. the world can barely sustain its resources to feed every human beings. bringing another life to this planet would only bring suffering to the child. i value my freedom. everything is so expensive and its gonna get even more expensive.
Seriously love how all 4 have such strong and different opinions but YET so humble and willing to learn at the same time. So satisfying to watch!!!
YES. The exact reason why i love this podcast also.
But divorce shouldn’t be the direct step “out” of marriage. Commitment also means learning to work things out together and sticking through thick and thin… getting counselling or therapy then if even with help the relationship is still tense or even abusive, it’s probably time to let go. But never directly to go for a divorce lah… the same problem might return with a different partner.
Usually not a podcast listener but I loved watching this and enjoyed listening to the discussion a lot! Each cast member brings something diff to the conversation👍🏻 GREAT JOB GUYS👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 hi John pls share the booklet ty HAHAHA
I second this
I super like the chemistry betw U 4, the flow is seamless and everybody is respectful with each other. Everyone contribute with ease. Subbing this channel!! Keep up the good content!
I am a Singaporean living in Australia now and you guys are one of my sources to feel closer to Singapore. I thoroughly enjoy this panel!!!
Counter question: Is there still a point to marriage IF married couples had NO additional benefits compared to non-married couples? (i.e. the right to declare oneself as family during hospital visits, tax claims, housing grants etc)
More on engagement encounter!
It is very similar to pre-marriage preparation courses or pre-marital counselling. Some of the courses out there are very superficial while others can be very very detailed. Not being religious but some of the best ones are those conducted by Catholic/Christian churches. Even though conducted by them, the courses are all very very worldly and not religious at all, and any member of the public can attend. I attended one before and decided to split with my gf after the course.
The dramatic pause before “…a Kazakhstan wife” HAHAHA I just can’t 🤣💀
Love this show. Really really appreciate you guys for doing this. Its amazing how you guys who are of a similar generation, but walking on different paths of life bring different perspectives that represent our generation and voice em out, WITHOUT prejudice or judgement, and yet bring it across is such a light hearted and comedic tone is lovely. I rarely (almost never) comment on videos unless I feel strongly for something and I applaud your videos. The thumbs up ratios reflect that as well :) Jia you and keep up the good works guys :) Well done thus far!
I feel like part of why arranged marriages work may be because it comes from an agreement between families and as such familial support would be way higher
People who are willing to be subjected to arranged marriages already conform to what the families want from the beginning. Thus they are more likely to stay in a marriage even though they're unhappy just to please everyone else around them.
There is a very strong and powerful man who helped me bring back my ex-husband who left me a few months ago, and now my ex-husband is back. I am very grateful..
@@Nahduge yes and that's more sad
india has the lowest divorce rates in the world of only 1% this is because more than 90% marriages there are arranged marriages
this is legit the best podcast ever, i love every one of the cast and its so balanced I love the different perspectives of different age groups, genders and everything! please keep it going!! you guys deserve to be huge!
I like how John Paul shares stories and insights that he has after meeting people ☺️☺️
Pretty mature and balanced viewpoints. I'm a boomer and I liked this. "Marriage own-self choose" is so very funny.
Marriage is not only just a construct when the government has engineered it so that married couples enjoy more benefits in terms of housing, taxes, and government grants. This is why civil unions need to be a thing in Singapore. I don't see why areligious couple should be punished.
"conclusion is, parents know best la"
"noONONoNNOooo"
On the topic of diverging growth years down the road, isn't it a great thing? I mean both partners grow in their own ways and further strengthen the r/s with new stats. Like one could to super patient person who's great with kids, while the other could be a super planner that makes great family plans. Tackling life problems just like Maplestory party quest.
married for 17years.
if you guys overthink it like that, it wont last more than a year
Engagement Encounter can only take you so far. Prior to marriage the couples' situation are different as compared to after 20-30 odd years of marriage where circumstances of each individual changes through time within their respective careers, child & parent care period, all these will manifest into problems over time that is difficult to resolve due to different values and respect for each other.
Love love love 4 of your dynamics!! Please keep it going 💕
Does Jon say he doesn't care about marriage because he already knows the preconceived outcome? My mum has always told me the same and I thought it was pretty interesting to hear someone else in a similar sitch.
Really love the podcast
Ah Engagement Encounters! Glad my wife and I went through the 6 weeks version: Marriage Preparation Course
It doesn't teach you how to love but what to expect. Basically there is a lot of sharings from couples on various aspects e.g. sex, pregnancy, money, etc [stuff that people tend to overlook before getting married]
Of course there were couples who broke off their engagement during the course. However as what many people say better to end it before than after the marriage.
Edit: the games that John mentioned were new. Mine had no songs. It lots of sharings + lessons
Edit 2: the ring can be very reasonable if you make it yourself. I did a workshop where I designed and made the ring. Total cost: SGD 620 [Quite fun, my wife guessed it but didn't know the design nor when the proposal will be]
Dying from a stroke is pain-free. I know because I had a stroke and survived it.
Nice topic. Warren Buffet has some wisdom for long term marriage "Low Expectation".
Divorce has a bad rep because it hurts your reputation regarding your ability to solve interpersonal problems and trustworthiness.
Marriage needs to be work on, like any other relationships, parent child, friends, siblings,..... it will not work out by itself. When you and your child has some problem, do u disown him? Walk out? Your partner is your family, your life partner. Both have to work it out.
super awesome stuff fellas!!!!
Solid discussion
Arranged marriages are less likely to end in divorce because it’s purely contractual. There doesn’t have to be love or happiness involved. And it’s normally one party that has to “give in”.
Brilliant topic and always awesome chemistry. Just wonder how topics are researched and then talked about before hand. Monogamy and the institution of marriage have not been around for as long as one might think. In fact, it is very unnatural in all mammal species and also practiced in a smaller percentage of all known human civilisation / culture throughout history.
Edit: Religion should not play apart and/ or influence on Marriage&Divorce laws. Just like how Quran law doesn't have a say in our M&D laws, Christianity shouldn't either.
Here's the thing. Time together before marriage doesn't matter. How both parties handle it matters. Sometimes you marry fast and throughout the marriage you work out the difference. This is due to the fact that you're newly married you'll try to work it out and not just mention divorce so easily like breakups. Meanwhile being attached for so long, the feeling over time WILL fade and along the way the feelings that drift away will make you not feel obligated to make the marriage work
is it just me or is there a weird audio thing that keeps ticking in the background
i thought Singapore statistics show that less than 10% divorced? Very different from USA stats
16:30 engagement encounter
2/10 decide not to get married
debt, conflict resolution, upbringing, trauma, porn addiction, masturbation
The fact that people allow arranged marriages already are putting others interest ahead of them. So they are more committed to the marriage for other reasons than their happiness and freedom
Can I suggest captions? Sometimes it’s hard to understand what they are saying when the hosts speak very fast. ESP the 2 Johns 😅
My engagement ring was $2.70, I told my partner don't spend so much on the proposal c:
11:28 despite a lover of Jesus
For guys, Divorce is the START of a bigger problem cos half of your assets will go to your ex-wife!
We paid 300 ringgit for my marriage ring
Why marry? So that you can divorce?
Before marriage, she look like barbie Doll
After marriage, she look like Annabelle.
why am I so bothered by him wearing shorts?
Its the slides too! So ugly!
@@velerieyeong7547 why so judgy sia.
Can get Jon Paul off the show? He’s too dumb for me. Kills the conversation vibe
It’s really sad to hear people say they don’t want children. What traumatised you?
Who are you to judge another person's choice not to have children. Why do you assume it's trauma? Personally, I wouldn't have children myself because of how fucked the planet will be in my child's lifetime if I were to have one. I also believe that there are enough people on this planet as it is.
Why would you want a child when you're married. I think its really sad that this society likes to think that it is a must and some "blessing". No thanks..i'd rather have a dog. Less hassle.
To me, it makes no logical sense to have children now. The earth's resources can barely keep up with the ridiculous amount of consumption by humans, there's a lot of people already, holistically raising a child well is very expensive, time consuming and tiring, etc
its not about the trauma but the reason why you do not want kids. its too expensive to have kids plus the world is overpopulated or maybe the couple just wants to enjoy their time together and to do their own things without children. different people have different hopes, dreams and aspirations and kids could be the road block in achieving it. plus kids do not equal to happiness for some people and just because you decide to not have kids do not mean that you are a failure.
i too dont want kids for pretty much the same reasons:
i never like kids, i like cats or animals in general better.
the world is so messed up. look at our planet and humanity, so much conflicts.
the world can barely sustain its resources to feed every human beings.
bringing another life to this planet would only bring suffering to the child.
i value my freedom.
everything is so expensive and its gonna get even more expensive.