what's toxic are when you have a workmate who makes issues about salary, workplace bully, gossiping & too competitive even no one is competing with him/her.
Coming earlier/later and leaving on time perception should be a secondary thought. The important thing here is whether your TASK is completed? Does your team member NEED your help? On the Gossip topic, just kill it when it becomes toxic. Some Gossip develops from a task or issues that requires a group effort as different colleagues takes on certain responsibilities. Somehow you will find someone slacking/pretending and contributing lesser than others. It becomes a frustratuion to those who have done their part and now have to cover the slacker(s). It escalates further when the Slacker is commended for Good work. Management does not realise this as they are looking at the end result and not on the process of how it got completed.
I just got let go from my previous company for admin issues, and all my colleagues from my department were trying to defend and fight for me to stay. Honestly really warmed my heart so much. Was a really hard goodbye to these people but they were telling me to just explore the world as in “still young”
It’s scary (in a good way) that you guys as colleagues of different hierarchies are able to speak so openly about these things ON CAMERA. I’d say my workplace has a pretty flat hierarchy, and a relatively open feedback loop between senior leaders, managers and execs but I just wouldn’t feel as completely comfortable speaking about a topic like workplace gossip with someone on the management team right in-front of me… probably wondering what/who are the people I’m referring to in my vague examples given to prove my point. Either way, you guys (especially so Jon) speak with such candour that’s admirable and makes for great listening experience. Thanks a ton!
First few times is definitely required to know who your colleagues are, what kind of vibes your team is emitting. Let them know you a little and just be neutral at the start! Dont be afraid of peer pressure. If you feel like you need alone time, tell them. They'll most likely say, "wah emo" "dont emo" but those are just reaction words, it doesnt hold any values Its a balance. If a company that enforces lunch together all the time, its a red flag too... once you find the rythmn, find your own peace Im not afraid to eat alone
Both the individual and company have a part to play. As someone who is new to the company, it is their responsibility to make themselves known for career benefits, but at the same time, similarly to how when you visit someone's house as a guest, they host you instead of you wandering on your own.
I stopped lunching with people at my new workplace because it got a bit boring/awkward after a while when they kept talking about things I wasn't a part of (each other's weddings, house renovations, gymming, etc.) and couldn't relate to. Also I'm a bit introverted (the only introvert at the place actually lol and the only member of my team in Asia the rest of my team in US but somehow I get along with them just fine LMAO) so I didn't dare to force them to change the conversation topic just for me (1 person). So it's easier for me to eat at my desk instead lol. Made me miss my previous workplace where the people were more inclusive/accepting and I could be more lively/rowdy.
Always been a fan of you guys, and i'm saying this with love - been a while since I've enjoyed a TDK this much. Great exchange on this topic from everyone on the panel.
This discussion is interesting in that you have inputs from a wide spectrum of persons in many positions in the firm, from Founder to Sr Management to Management and other leaders. Many of the points raised are poignant to the positions in which they are in.
I usually have late or very quick lunch in order to continue working. Sometimes i wish that my staffs can have my working style but i know it is impossible. I do not blame them because i know i can be quite a workaholic.
Agree about the toxic loop thing - essentially an echo chamber. I seldom rant but remember vividly once getting extremely pissed (straw that broke the camel’s back) and ranted about it to friends at work. Person in question is legit incompetent so everyone agreed (and had their own stories too lol). Problem is this doesn’t fix anything. If anything, it detracts from any potential solutions. I was focussed on my anger which was counterproductive. I should have spent the time working on damage control and putting in place measures to counter future occurrences (person in qn was a superior so…can’t do much) but instead i was just - pissed. Was the anger justified? Yes. Was it productive? No. How much should i have ranted? Once - like sherms said. Just once will do, move on, think of countermeasures. After the incident i thought about it and realised how much time i had wasted and how much unnecessary dislike i had built for this superior, who was a nice person but just not cut out for the role. So yeah. Learnt from that mistake. I think what JP does is pretty interesting re: identifying when it crosses the line.
It seems like it's easier to have lunch together when it's a smaller team, but when the company grows bigger, then it's harder to get everyone to have lunch at the same time - what happens then?
Can you talk about change of perspective? And like how to be more self disciplined? Like I feel like leaving my workplace but I am unfortunately bonded for another year. It was gotten so bad that I drag myself to work and is getting late more frequent. I know it's irresponsible and I've been trying to change it. But subconsciously I think I just hate gg to work so bad I miss my alarms and completely sleep thru it. I've been in my workplace for 3 yrs and only in the recent months I start to be tardy. I've tried self help books, many alarms and journalling but still escaping reality in my sleep 😊
Ok but what if I just don’t want to lunch with the colleagues? The convos are just not interesting. I don’t want to hear about your husband, daughter etc. And then there are those who will keep talking about work during lunch time 😩
My company went from a S tier (2020) to a B tier (2023). All that because they rejected all the "out of the box, bold" ideas that other companies are doing, is really unfortunate. Think I'm packing up my desk at the end of the year.
The last i know that only in kindergarten you have to eat together with everyone from your class. Cmon, we are all grown up and can choose who do we wna eat with during lunch time. Why so clingy? Sometimes you just wna zen out from your annoying colleagues whom you alr spent the entire day with for that one hour is not a lot to ask for.
My opinion is to put in much effort to join your colleagues for meals during work hour even if you can't make it for after-work events. Use these mealtime to let people learn the genuine you so that they understand and not misunderstand why you might not be able to join other activities. 😊 And you should take the lead in planning lunch too. It doesn't need to be posh or boutique restaurant at all. Suggest cheaper alternatives or volunteer to takeaway these food for your colleagues so that everyone doesnt need to burn a hole in their pockets. I'm pretty sure many colleagues will be thankful to you for that. I'm always help my colleagues takeaway caipeng and they are so so grateful. And lastly, it is so so important to say hi/ good morning to your colleagues every day! It's the bare minimum to acknowledge their presence.
Dining with coworkers can be a source of concern for the younger generation. It’s no surprise that contemporary individuals frequently experience anxiety. Delving into “Romance of the Three Kingdoms” and historical studies sheds light on how the erosion of traditional values and the influence of Western culture have contributed to diminished self-assurance and bravery among young people.
Not sure if anyone encountered this before, but i felt that the culture became toxic if the bosses knows about the grievances and decided not to do anything about it, everything just sweep under the carpet. And even after trying out weeks of countless meetings and discussions about grievances, it still doesn’t have a solution to it, and is all about emotions and cover up. Especially when we pointing out facts, but the other party just use emotions till they burnt out everyone and get what they wants. Finally they stop the nonsense but still spreading, showing the other colleagues that they are the true victim. Is just disgusting, yet the more disgusting fact is the boss is not doing anything.
If a company value you on how much you participate in company events than how much values you bring to the company, is a toxic place to me. Why can’t an employee just bring their best to company in executing all the work to bring in value and money and go home to their family on time?
clearly John is not an introvert nor does he understand that there is a range of introvertedness. Some introverts are ok with a bit of attention, others aren't. It's something that extroverts will NEVER understand no matter how much they like to claim, 'I get it', because the minute you say 'I get it, but...' it means you don't and you will never. For introverts there is never a but.
![[LIVE] : ONE ลุมพินี 88 | คู่เอก "ป้อมเพชร vs อัสลามจอน"](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/1ZqTVVbMgbo/mqdefault.jpg)
These longer pods are amazing. Please keep it up. Just upload your work meetings at this point, we will watch it all
workplace gossip should be an entire episode on it’s own!
I stopped going to lunch when they spend $20 for lunch. I prefer my cai peng.
Same
Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people 💯
Love the insights and end quote 👌👌
Good idea sending this out at 6 pm! Something to listen to on the way home
what's toxic are when you have a workmate who makes issues about salary, workplace bully, gossiping & too competitive even no one is competing with him/her.
The depth and wisdom in this episode ❤ Pretty much covered most of the common social issues and gave really good framework to deal with it.
Coming earlier/later and leaving on time perception should be a secondary thought. The important thing here is whether your TASK is completed? Does your team member NEED your help?
On the Gossip topic, just kill it when it becomes toxic. Some Gossip develops from a task or issues that requires a group effort as different colleagues takes on certain responsibilities. Somehow you will find someone slacking/pretending and contributing lesser than others. It becomes a frustratuion to those who have done their part and now have to cover the slacker(s). It escalates further when the Slacker is commended for Good work. Management does not realise this as they are looking at the end result and not on the process of how it got completed.
You know this podcast will be good if John is here! ❤
I just got let go from my previous company for admin issues, and all my colleagues from my department were trying to defend and fight for me to stay. Honestly really warmed my heart so much. Was a really hard goodbye to these people but they were telling me to just explore the world as in “still young”
Really enjoyed this episode! More of workplace topics pls! Loved the quote Jon shared at the end!
It’s scary (in a good way) that you guys as colleagues of different hierarchies are able to speak so openly about these things ON CAMERA. I’d say my workplace has a pretty flat hierarchy, and a relatively open feedback loop between senior leaders, managers and execs but I just wouldn’t feel as completely comfortable speaking about a topic like workplace gossip with someone on the management team right in-front of me… probably wondering what/who are the people I’m referring to in my vague examples given to prove my point. Either way, you guys (especially so Jon) speak with such candour that’s admirable and makes for great listening experience. Thanks a ton!
i love the quote that Jon brought up 49:06. Well done team for bring up another entertaining topic.
but people who discuss people are the ones who get promoted. No ?
First few times is definitely required to know who your colleagues are, what kind of vibes your team is emitting. Let them know you a little and just be neutral at the start!
Dont be afraid of peer pressure. If you feel like you need alone time, tell them. They'll most likely say, "wah emo" "dont emo" but those are just reaction words, it doesnt hold any values
Its a balance. If a company that enforces lunch together all the time, its a red flag too... once you find the rythmn, find your own peace
Im not afraid to eat alone
Both the individual and company have a part to play. As someone who is new to the company, it is their responsibility to make themselves known for career benefits, but at the same time, similarly to how when you visit someone's house as a guest, they host you instead of you wandering on your own.
which in context, means that the company has a responsibility to connect with you too through various means.
I stopped lunching with people at my new workplace because it got a bit boring/awkward after a while when they kept talking about things I wasn't a part of (each other's weddings, house renovations, gymming, etc.) and couldn't relate to. Also I'm a bit introverted (the only introvert at the place actually lol and the only member of my team in Asia the rest of my team in US but somehow I get along with them just fine LMAO) so I didn't dare to force them to change the conversation topic just for me (1 person). So it's easier for me to eat at my desk instead lol. Made me miss my previous workplace where the people were more inclusive/accepting and I could be more lively/rowdy.
13:48 JP processing the joke is the funniest part of the video 😂😂
Always been a fan of you guys, and i'm saying this with love - been a while since I've enjoyed a TDK this much. Great exchange on this topic from everyone on the panel.
This discussion is interesting in that you have inputs from a wide spectrum of persons in many positions in the firm, from Founder to Sr Management to Management and other leaders. Many of the points raised are poignant to the positions in which they are in.
I usually have late or very quick lunch in order to continue working. Sometimes i wish that my staffs can have my working style but i know it is impossible. I do not blame them because i know i can be quite a workaholic.
Agree about the toxic loop thing - essentially an echo chamber. I seldom rant but remember vividly once getting extremely pissed (straw that broke the camel’s back) and ranted about it to friends at work. Person in question is legit incompetent so everyone agreed (and had their own stories too lol).
Problem is this doesn’t fix anything. If anything, it detracts from any potential solutions. I was focussed on my anger which was counterproductive. I should have spent the time working on damage control and putting in place measures to counter future occurrences (person in qn was a superior so…can’t do much) but instead i was just - pissed.
Was the anger justified? Yes. Was it productive? No. How much should i have ranted? Once - like sherms said. Just once will do, move on, think of countermeasures. After the incident i thought about it and realised how much time i had wasted and how much unnecessary dislike i had built for this superior, who was a nice person but just not cut out for the role. So yeah. Learnt from that mistake. I think what JP does is pretty interesting re: identifying when it crosses the line.
i surround myself with lunch buddies who eats ~$5 caipeng in CBD
It seems like it's easier to have lunch together when it's a smaller team, but when the company grows bigger, then it's harder to get everyone to have lunch at the same time - what happens then?
WE LOVE LONG VIDEOS!!!!!❤
Same
JP is my spirit animal in this episode.. wew.
really like John's quote at the last part
Can you talk about change of perspective? And like how to be more self disciplined? Like I feel like leaving my workplace but I am unfortunately bonded for another year. It was gotten so bad that I drag myself to work and is getting late more frequent. I know it's irresponsible and I've been trying to change it. But subconsciously I think I just hate gg to work so bad I miss my alarms and completely sleep thru it. I've been in my workplace for 3 yrs and only in the recent months I start to be tardy. I've tried self help books, many alarms and journalling but still escaping reality in my sleep 😊
Ok but what if I just don’t want to lunch with the colleagues? The convos are just not interesting. I don’t want to hear about your husband, daughter etc. And then there are those who will keep talking about work during lunch time 😩
28:40 JP is getting scolded by Boss almost entire episode 😂😂😅
My company went from a S tier (2020) to a B tier (2023).
All that because they rejected all the "out of the box, bold" ideas that other companies are doing, is really unfortunate. Think I'm packing up my desk at the end of the year.
The last i know that only in kindergarten you have to eat together with everyone from your class. Cmon, we are all grown up and can choose who do we wna eat with during lunch time. Why so clingy? Sometimes you just wna zen out from your annoying colleagues whom you alr spent the entire day with for that one hour is not a lot to ask for.
pretty awesome discussion for the fellow young senior management ~ great insights too!
It will be great if the audio volume can go up a little
My opinion is to put in much effort to join your colleagues for meals during work hour even if you can't make it for after-work events. Use these mealtime to let people learn the genuine you so that they understand and not misunderstand why you might not be able to join other activities. 😊
And you should take the lead in planning lunch too. It doesn't need to be posh or boutique restaurant at all. Suggest cheaper alternatives or volunteer to takeaway these food for your colleagues so that everyone doesnt need to burn a hole in their pockets. I'm pretty sure many colleagues will be thankful to you for that. I'm always help my colleagues takeaway caipeng and they are so so grateful.
And lastly, it is so so important to say hi/ good morning to your colleagues every day! It's the bare minimum to acknowledge their presence.
I like this post totally !
oh godddd… THIS IS INTERESTING 🔥🌚
wah recently reddit alot of post asking this, just refer them here HAHA
Dining with coworkers can be a source of concern for the younger generation. It’s no surprise that contemporary individuals frequently experience anxiety. Delving into “Romance of the Three Kingdoms” and historical studies sheds light on how the erosion of traditional values and the influence of Western culture have contributed to diminished self-assurance and bravery among young people.
I saw u guys all walk past me going back for lunch. Unknown location 😅
If it's free !
Hey TDK crew!
Sounds like the word for culture here is actually just being hospitable to new people
250 episode!!! 2500 next💕💪😊
this episode too sensitive I not in the room also uncomfortable lmao
Company has this survey to feedback on the company, but was asked to give perfect scores. 😐
Not sure if anyone encountered this before, but i felt that the culture became toxic if the bosses knows about the grievances and decided not to do anything about it, everything just sweep under the carpet.
And even after trying out weeks of countless meetings and discussions about grievances, it still doesn’t have a solution to it, and is all about emotions and cover up.
Especially when we pointing out facts, but the other party just use emotions till they burnt out everyone and get what they wants. Finally they stop the nonsense but still spreading, showing the other colleagues that they are the true victim. Is just disgusting, yet the more disgusting fact is the boss is not doing anything.
Omg JP is that a Patek?
isit me or the video could be smoother? good vid and relatable.
But I saw u guys walking to ARC 380 for lunch couple of times leh
If a company value you on how much you participate in company events than how much values you bring to the company, is a toxic place to me.
Why can’t an employee just bring their best to company in executing all the work to bring in value and money and go home to their family on time?
clearly John is not an introvert nor does he understand that there is a range of introvertedness. Some introverts are ok with a bit of attention, others aren't. It's something that extroverts will NEVER understand no matter how much they like to claim, 'I get it', because the minute you say 'I get it, but...' it means you don't and you will never. For introverts there is never a but.
long episode, but just to summarise in 1 word, "EQ"
drinking sessions become ranting sessions. yay or nay?
Why y’all leaving at 6pm? Working in a korean company, to leave at 6pm, you better apply for half day leave 😉
Erm sherms the shirt very nice, where you buy and what size? 😅😅
Thank you!! Somehow TH-cam removes my comment when I share but it’s size M and from a shopping platform that starts with S and ends with E 🤣🤣😭
@@Justshermz found it. Thankiew 🫶🏻
I know how to describe Shermane’s voice. Sounds like got a layer of phlegm…
OH!! I’ve always had quite bad sinus congestion. Sounds about right
why Shermane wearing a torn in half shirt? xD
It’s not torn in half 😭😭
@@Justshermzjust cleaved in half 👀
@@Justshermz hello just wanna say i love you stan gojo. i love jujutsu kaisen lolol
@@fur.anderenuuuuuu 😭😭 don’t break my heart like that
@@kk-gb7fqgojo sensei is slay 🔥
Nobody owes you a living. Especially your co-workers who are already settled in.
Algoooo
Algooooooooooooooo