5179anonymous Funny thing for me with that is that I hadn't thought of it until half way through the writing. OR the trip 6es. My eyes popped out of my head when they occurred to me and I realised how perfect they were. It was divine intervention.
Desire to be worshipped? You got that all wrong. He created us out of love, not need. If God *needs* something then He wouldn’t be God. This is picturing God as an anxious dude needing acceptance and attention 😂 A sovereign God who created everything from nothing does not *need* anything from anyone. This whole video is the result of misinterpretation and misunderstanding, and making fun of “King James” English... guess you should make fun of Shakespeare too then.
@@heavnxbound "If God needs something then He wouldn’t be God." Ever read the Old Testament? or New Testament? No, NSC pretty much has it right. The stories in the Bible were written at a time BEFORE the "all-everything" god had evolved. See, back then, they didn't believe their gods were ALL powerful, just VERY powerful. And they believed in multiple gods. A very embarrassing passage in the OT ref god's "power" is the one where his chosen people could not defeat the tribe of people who had iron chariots. Quite strange for a god that supposedly CREATED IRON out of nothing! hahaha but poor Yahweh, he couldn't handle those iron chariots! but yes, "god" needs people to believe in him or he would cease to exist just like all the other ancient gods. No one believes in poor Zeus anymore. :( And he no longer exists! (psssst... he never really did anyway, only in the minds of people).
Sex isn’t a sin, but fornication and adultery are, along with all the perverted ways people have sex, like gay sex or bestiality, for example - some seriously sick and twisted stuff there. Sex is a gift and is holy, but we can make it perverted or pornographic. If we follow God’s law then we will have order in our life and interior peace that we all long for. Atheism will never provide that.
@@st.michaelthearchangel7774 whats wrong with 2 men doing it? I mean im not opposed to banning doing it to your dog but being gay still means youre doing it with another human. Also I think I get along just fine even without god's law-that-he'll-only-enact-on-me-after-i-die.
@@st.michaelthearchangel7774I mean, being homosexual was a sin, and there were many cases of god having no problem with child related acts… is that “interior peace” to you?
@@heavnxbound So your loving god punished all humanity for ever for the mistakes of two idiots with natural disasters, cancer, world hunger, all sorts of diseases..... What a great guy, quick, let's worship him!
"You designed me with free will!" "Yeah but you don't have to keep USING it!" Literally had tears coming out of my eyes laughing. Almost 10 years after you posted this, thank you for the creative content.
@@NonStampCollector I don't know if you did God's voice in this or had someone else do it, but that delivery was amazing. Flawless combination of whiney, narcissistic, and petty, and yet perfectly encapsulates the OT depiction of God.
@@NonStampCollector Wow, I've seen quite a few of your videos over the years, and I always assumed that you had friends help with the recording...Much respect and appreciation for putting in all of that work. Cheers.
@@NonStampCollector I'm pretty sure recently (2020) you admitted to having many voices of crowd sourced canned laughter in one of your videos #checkmateatheist 😉
well when you make beings that have there own free will you cant control them or he would have just made robots. the same way you can't control your children only show them the best path.If your child wants to hate you and tries to kick you out of your house and take over because they want to be you. what are you going to do?
***** People attack things they don't understand or don't want. People have to attack things they don't understand about God when he had given the law to men because there is no fault finding in Jesus Christ. They base there ideas on experiences they have had. When these experiences were never originally intended to be had. Men wouldn't be such pigs if we weren't exposed to constant sexually imagery. The bibles slavery is just modern day employment. Ones boss has complete control over a mans family and life even thought he doesn't "OWN" them. I have found in my many years of being a Christian and many years of not being a Christian it all boils down to people wanting to write there own code of wrong and write. Basically accountability. Most of the same people who hate God and deny he exist and created them. Would be fine with the idea of space aliens creating them because they would still get choose what they want to be wrong and write. They would have no problem being created by them or thanking or worshiping them for making us. I personally don't understand how someone can look at the universe and this planet and think that God is moron. Not to mention the fact that we are made of DNA coded programed living software that streaches to the moon and back. Life is beautiful when people choose to live like Jesus and listen to what he said. Yet people CHOOSE not to and wounder why we have hell on earth. Gods not a moron he just gave us the ability to be morons if we choose =0 Every person on the planet knows that they are important and not just a random process of zombie slim that started living millions of years ago and mutated into thinking,breathing, living beings capable of love, hate murder and kindness. This to me is truly silly notion yet Christians are the ones who get made fun of? All i can do is try and be like Jesus to the best of my ability and if Gods not real then cool. If he is even better and i say this dropping all of my personal experiences because i have had many encounters that would be classified as supernatural. Yet it is up to every person to choose there own path and walk out there own salvation with God. All i can do is try and point the way. Personaly i think everyone knows in there heart that life is no accident yet i can't go around calling people a liar who say they don't know. I think it boils down to people not wanting to do as they are told. Kinda like have good parents on earth. We don't always want to do as say. Yet what they are saying is best thing for us. I just hope in some way that i have helped you see that the God i love. Is not a moron because some guy on youtube makes a video about something he doesn't understand and doesn't want to try and understand. Lots of love and God Bless.
I think god would be a moron or sadistic if he intended for boys to have strong sexual desires by the age of 12 when they're going through puberty, and then tell them that lust, which comes naturally at that stage of life, is a sin! What! Nietzsche was right. Christianity is anti-nature. It takes what comes naturally and makes it a sin.
@@NonStampCollector I decided that I'd wait until she's asleep again and go back for more. I was holding in the laughter until Noah's Ark and "what are we going to do with the clean animals . Cut their throats and burn them once we reach land" part, but luckily she didn't wake up this time. I'm a fan.
“I’ll provide SOME of them with ADEQUATE food, SOME of the time!” You’re a legend, the details you put in your scripts just ties everything together and I love it
"you designed me with free will." "That does not mean you have to use it!" I had that same argument with my grandmother where we argued about free will.
This is one of THE best and funniest anti-theist videos EVER. I really LOVE how you manage to make such a typically unlikable character seem like a victim and like he WAS truly benevolent but was tricked by Satan. Which is actually kind of ironic, since that's ACTUALLY what Christians try and argue is the truth. It's also just really insightful and intelligent. I still maintain that Darkmatter got his ideas from your videos. It's pretty obvious Jeffrey is based on your atheistic voice of reason Angel. Though his animation is most definitely superior and his artwork is much prettier, he doesn't have your cool British accent, and I really like your minimalistic design too.
Thanks Ken. One correction: Australian, not British. Indeed, DarkMatter has stated that my videos did give him some ideas at the start, but there's no doubt whatsoever that he overtook me in every respect pretty quickly. He is indeed the sempai. Thanks for the comment.
@@NonStampCollector I know this is years old, but I really can't get into the darkmatter videos as easily. On the other hand I'm currently in my yearly binge of all your videos oldest to newest.
@@NonStampCollector I saw him credit you in a comment on one of his videos which led me to discover your channel. Really like his stuff but must admit i love yours.
yeah but if he was all knowing he couldve just called off the poker game before it even started and smooth talked the devil out of the game. Either that or its a modified view where he isnt omniscient
@@youraveragerobloxkidThat's the funny thing with Christianity. God gives you free will to do evil (like he did to the angels or else Satan couldn't rebel) yet punishes them for choosing a path he KNOWS they will take. Like, the dude punishes Adam and Eve for eating a fruit he KNEW they would eat, so the obvious question is why not just make them have free will but resist the temptation to eat the fruit? I mean he did it with Jesus, dude had free will yet never sinned. So just make Adam and Eve like Jesus.
I have only recently become an atheist. I’ve felt like I was alone and I just wanted to say thank you for making these videos. They are a source of humor and inspiration.
I used to be an atheist who believed that life forms adapted and evolved and went extinct over long periods of time because of the principle of the survival of the fittest to randomly changing conditions and environments. Now I believe that there must be an Intelligent Designer, because it occurred to me that my legs are exactly the right length to reach down to the ground, and so are the legs of most other folks. It requires too much faith to believe that's just due to chance.
kemosabe1967 If there is too much water it does not fit the hole, it overflows, and if not enough it doesn't reach the top of the hole. Clearly, puddles are not Intelligently Designed. Puddles only exactly fit the hole they are in by chance, or for a temporary period of the puddle's changing existence. The apparent diameter of the Moon is not Designed to produce perfect eclipses of the Sun. You happen to be living in the brief period when the changing size of the Moon's orbit produces that effect. However, everybody with legs has a leg length that is Intelligently Designed to reach exactly down to the ground.
+NonStampCollector I do love your videos! I've been thinking of supporting you on patreon because I do really enjoy them. But damn, money is tight right now! Can you tell me what you consider a full NSC video? Would I expect them to be along the lines of this video or ones such as the "Context!" video(my favorite by the way)?
broland80917 If money's tight, then just don't go to the bother. My setting up a Patreon account is not intended to bring the slightest bit of stress to anyone ever. Your thumbs up and shares are enough to bring warmth to my bitter atheist heart.
If 1000 sperm cells per day was the breaking point for two testicles instead of one, then for 50 million sperm a day we should have at least 50.000 testicles. :D :D :D
Satan: Ha ha ha! I win! You know what, when you’re writing you’re book tell everybody that my number is 666 so that you’re always reminded of the three of a kind that I beat you with.
Your* You're = You are = You do be Your = of you = belonging to you Is that so hard? Can't you just tell the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit?
Tail bone, wisdom teeth, appendix, tonsils, auricular muscles(to wiggle ears), palmaris Longis(useless muscle found in some), fabella, plica semilunaris, palmar grasp reflex... No *intelligent* designer would add features that are useless. But sure enough, they all point to evolution and our animal ancestral tree.
Not to um actually, but the appendix actually has a store on gut bacteria just in case there is none in the intestines, basically just a kickstart of a (bacterial) culture. Still very prone to getting infected and rupturing then killing someone if its unnoticed. Especially to those who menstruate cus it could just feel like very heavy cramps (Source: my best friend thought their Appendicitis was just really debilitating period symptoms and almost didn't go the hospital cus of this), or just in general cus it can feel like just a really nasty stomach bug, I'd very much call that a flaw.
I was expecting God to be the unreasonable one like he always is to his Angels. also shouldnt God's omnipitence let him win :p, maybe he secretly wanted these things.
Yahweh is clearly not omnipotent. Never was. To me, Yahweh seems like a lesser god that took credit for the creation of the world, but didn't actually create anything other than angels; and that's really no different than the god Pan (also a lesser god) creating the satyrs. The true creator of the world would be Mother Nature herself (or as the Wiccans call her: The Mother Goddess).
Worst part is it's not _ever_ a useless flap of skin, it's actually pretty damn important to have, not to mention the metric tonne of pleasure receptors it has.
You'll get more hate for this than for saying a given god doesn't exist on a predominantly theist forum. Hitchens responds to a joke about male genital mutilation by shaming the guy, demanding an apology, and asks him what if a muslim person were in here had made that joke about his little girl not missing the piece of skin they cut away? Would the audience have laughed and applauded? How is it at all different? And 99% of the apologia in favor of male infant genital mutilation boils down to "My daddy was ignorant and he had it done to me as it had been done to him, so I'm gonna have it done to my son, too." As to women saying they like men better if part has been cut off, fu
This is some of the most sophisticated humor I've ever encountered. Spot on and well researched and thought out. Brilliant. I'm going to show this to my 13 year old son and watch him cackle laughing. I can't wait.
"But I designed them to reabsorb their uterine lining for reuse, it's just biochemically wasteful to have them painfully bleed it out!" "I'll tell everyone that you love them so much they should hate themselves to compensate." "Ooh, I do love unfounded deference and groveling..."
i find it halarious that God is kinda getting turned on by the thought of having his name hallowed and getting a goat killed for him.... with words like thee and thou and don't forget shalt
This is hands down my favorite video you’ve made. I hate you’re not making content anymore, but understand the life can get in the way. Thanks for helping me realize that religion wasn’t for me.
Gabriel Philips man, all Im going to say is that i hope you find the truth. Living in fear of hell for the rest of your life is not worth it, because it’s not real. Angels aren’t real, either, no are they described that way in the Bible. Also, the earth is not flat. There is proof, you just need to seek it out.
Gabriel Philips and that’s all well and good friend. I’m glad you can see some of the plot holes. That being said, I can’t tell you what you (or anyone else) have seen, but the sheer fact that you can’t prove it beyond what you’ve seen doesn’t lend credence to it having actually happened. Grief is difficult and can make your brain go haywire. I know, as I’ve been there. Again, I cant tell you what you believe you saw, but There’s no reason for me to think it was anything but a hallucination. Same with anyone else whose claimed to have seen an angel. either that, or they’re lying.
12 years later and I'm still dying to see the sequel about the female reproductive system. Seriously dude, this is the only anti-theistic channel I ever watch just because your videos and ways of phrasing things are fucking hilarious. Love all your stuff, man
This God character created by you, Stampy, is such an awesomely hilarious being. I love his evil, ignorant stupidity and the way he moans: "I love being reminded of my existence." Your writing and voicing are superb. Okay, the paintjob is generally crappy but who gives a shit. :D Laughing my ungodly ass off to your videos. You make me happy, divine video maker. Praise to you!
Friggin HELLarious! And so very DUH! Yet BRILLIANT 'tis the maker of this film. I can't imagine how far one's head would have to be up one's tushy to NOT SEE this.
"I mean, I REALLY, REALLY don't want there to be a flap of skin over the end of his thing!" 🤣 You're killing me! I love your videos. They're pure gold!
My brother and I recently deconstructed and that makes particularly these videos extra funny. We were both in tears. Thanks for these timeless epics man
All Humans need to repent & Believe in Jesus as their God. Why? Because all Humans have sinned (lied, lusted sexually, stolen, dishonoured parents, unbelief etc). Avoid the fires of Hell (justice of God) and choose Heaven today. Jesus defeated death by rising from the dead. GOD IS HOLY
Absolutely genius. I cannot believe I just found this 8 years later. Whoever downvoted this, must be some serious mental fuck up. Even if you're a die hard bible-fundamentalist you need to recognize the train of thought that explains all these aspects of human sexuality in the context of intelligent design. But I guess that's just it... just keep avoiding to think about how to make fucking sense about your own beliefs.
Unfortunately nonstamp won't care, he'll still treat every Christian like shit just for being a believer in something, character doesn't matter to this bias prick
I have literally watched this so many times I cant count. Liked, shared, even downloaded (legally). I only now have realized for yahwizzle to have still gotten his requests, Lucy was the compassionate one.
All Humans need to repent & Believe in Jesus as their God. Why? Because all Humans have sinned (lied, lusted sexually, stolen, dishonoured parents, unbelief etc). Avoid the fires of Hell (justice of God) and choose Heaven today. Jesus defeated death by rising from the dead. GOD IS HOLY
@@thereisnonegoodbutgodjohn363 Hard pass. Besides, have you even considered that it's just as likely that jesus is using me to talk sense into you, but now he's stopped because you're not hearing anything he's saying? When I stop replying to or even acknowledging your comments, will that be all the proof you need, or will you rationalise it away as an impossibility that the conduit could be me?
0:29 "You designed me with free will" *whining like a 3 year old* "But you dont have to keep useing it!" Hilarious!! :D I never grow tired of Nonstampcollector! And the "ohhh, you like that, dont you.. ;)" is so darn good! Bring the popcorn, I'm watching this again
Awesome! Great piece NSC. I like this approach to ID, not just pointing at its lack of scientific credulity but actually showing how illogical it is to think that we were created intelligently. Creationists always go on about how perfect the human species is, but when you really examine the subject we are far from perfect, very far. The imbalances noted in this vid rightly suggest a very UNintelligent designer. Good work NSC! You can attack the anthropic principle the same way; the universe wasn't created in such a way that is perfect for humans, the universe is NOT a great place for humans. We only thrive on this incredibly small portion of an emmense volume that is almost entirley uninhabitable.
Just remembered, the term i was looking for was "fine tuned". The universe is not "fine tuned" for human life, as so many people like to say. It's a harsh unihabitable vacuum. And the earth is not "fine tuned" for humans either. We, via evolution and natural selection, are fine tuned to it. And even that is subjective. If i was truly fined tuned to earth (or visa versa) i wouldn't get cold in the winter and have to wear clothes to survive, etc. etc.
This video is so amazing that it must have been created by intelligent design. Only God could've created something so perfect. In the future, when Christians conquer the world with peaceful and loving wars, they will use this video for further proof that God exists. They will say that God took the form of atheists so he could make this perfect video to test the faith of his believers. They will say, "How else could something so intelligently designed exist without a God?"
im honestly ashamed i didnt see 666 coming
With bets like he was laying down, you HAD to know he'd hit something on the flop, surely.
i knew he would win, i just didnt pay attention to his hand
That's no way to win the world series of poker.
NonStampCollector I agree lol
5179anonymous Funny thing for me with that is that I hadn't thought of it until half way through the writing. OR the trip 6es. My eyes popped out of my head when they occurred to me and I realised how perfect they were. It was divine intervention.
This is the funniest anti-theistic video I've seen so far. "I love being reminded that I exist." LMAO
+Erik Kartman - You are just a figment of my reality.
+Evol Bob -- Yeah, bro. This is just a dream. Wake up, Bob!!!
I'd love for my name to be hallowed!
Like the Deathly hallows, or Halloween with Jamie Lee Curtis?
This comment has 666 likes
"Sex is supposed to make people come together!"
I see what you did there... ;)
Not-yet-Dr. Zandi 169 likes nice..
284 likes
569 likes, nice.
I'll reraise
this comment has 666 likes, please no one ever like it again
"I love being reminded I exist." My favorite.
Timothy Owens I want to like the comment but the counter is sitting at 666
Ryan Asson I want to love your comment. Neither of us is getting what we want.
As the video progresses I'm just like HOW MANY SPERM AM I PRODUCING EVERY DAY?!
It's a number of which you can be very proud.
Rpodnee a few quantillion.
Jesus fucking Christ, no wonder. @Brennan Herring
Now I’m self conscious of my measly one egg cell a month.
Let's see...beginning at age 11....my lifetime output so far is....[gets out calculator]
I love how god was so easily manipulated due to his infinite desire to be worshiped. hahaha
Desire to be worshipped? You got that all wrong. He created us out of love, not need. If God *needs* something then He wouldn’t be God. This is picturing God as an anxious dude needing acceptance and attention 😂 A sovereign God who created everything from nothing does not *need* anything from anyone. This whole video is the result of misinterpretation and misunderstanding, and making fun of “King James” English... guess you should make fun of Shakespeare too then.
@@heavnxbound "If God needs something then He wouldn’t be God." Ever read the Old Testament? or New Testament? No, NSC pretty much has it right. The stories in the Bible were written at a time BEFORE the "all-everything" god had evolved. See, back then, they didn't believe their gods were ALL powerful, just VERY powerful. And they believed in multiple gods. A very embarrassing passage in the OT ref god's "power" is the one where his chosen people could not defeat the tribe of people who had iron chariots. Quite strange for a god that supposedly CREATED IRON out of nothing! hahaha but poor Yahweh, he couldn't handle those iron chariots! but yes, "god" needs people to believe in him or he would cease to exist just like all the other ancient gods. No one believes in poor Zeus anymore. :( And he no longer exists! (psssst... he never really did anyway, only in the minds of people).
@Eris Socratou YT sends emails on comments sometimes if someone replies so I sometimes see them. :)
Stephanie R. S. If he doesn’t want/need us to worship him why does he want us to? And then sends us to hell if we don’t?
@@TruthSurge greek mythos i think of cool little stories that i like reading.
> "Ten million sperm per day, and you have to make sex a sin!"
That is one of the funniest lines I have ever heard. It deserves historic remembrance.
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Sex isn’t a sin, but fornication and adultery are, along with all the perverted ways people have sex, like gay sex or bestiality, for example - some seriously sick and twisted stuff there. Sex is a gift and is holy, but we can make it perverted or pornographic.
If we follow God’s law then we will have order in our life and interior peace that we all long for. Atheism will never provide that.
@@st.michaelthearchangel7774
whats wrong with 2 men doing it? I mean im not opposed to banning doing it to your dog but being gay still means youre doing it with another human. Also I think I get along just fine even without god's law-that-he'll-only-enact-on-me-after-i-die.
@st.michaelthearchangel7774 your God doesn't exist
@@st.michaelthearchangel7774I mean, being homosexual was a sin, and there were many cases of god having no problem with child related acts… is that “interior peace” to you?
I love how god gets off to worship xD
TZR I can get u off ;)
JordinoJordano, o-oh... >.>
So hot, horny guys hitting on strangers
*Looks at bulge* OwO what’s going on here?
I want in on the orgy happening in this thread
We're so intelligently designed we have mass varieties of brain disorders, including mass delusion.
Steve Harvey i guess the fact that humans are capable of beliving Christianity is a sort of argument for intelligent design. Lol
NA yea humans are so intelligent that we created a bunch of fake stories and said they’re real heh
Stephanie R. S. th-cam.com/video/RqQGUJK7Na4/w-d-xo.html
@@heavnxbound So your loving god punished all humanity for ever for the mistakes of two idiots with natural disasters, cancer, world hunger, all sorts of diseases..... What a great guy, quick, let's worship him!
We're so intelligently designed we have several useless and leftover parts
I'm offensive and I find this religious
+JIGGLYKID
I'm offended that your joke is so unoriginal.
I'm offended that you called me out on my unoriginal joke
I'm joke that your original is so offended.
damn Ytube
I'm unoriginal and offended your joke.
so that's why 666 is associated with the devil.
*beats god*
"i will make that number an evil sin"😠
its derived from the book of revelation
@@kfkf6569 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
Or was it sex, sex, sex ? That’s always the winning hand.
"You designed me with free will!"
"Yeah but you don't have to keep USING it!"
Literally had tears coming out of my eyes laughing. Almost 10 years after you posted this, thank you for the creative content.
It's a joy of my life these days that so long after creating these old vids they're still funny to new people. Thanks for the comment :)
@@NonStampCollector I don't know if you did God's voice in this or had someone else do it, but that delivery was amazing. Flawless combination of whiney, narcissistic, and petty, and yet perfectly encapsulates the OT depiction of God.
Nobody but me has done voices in my vids. Trust me though, every line goes take after take after take.
@@NonStampCollector Wow, I've seen quite a few of your videos over the years, and I always assumed that you had friends help with the recording...Much respect and appreciation for putting in all of that work. Cheers.
@@NonStampCollector I'm pretty sure recently (2020) you admitted to having many voices of crowd sourced canned laughter in one of your videos #checkmateatheist
😉
Almost makes me feel sorry for Yahweh... oh well, his fault for designing defective angels that would rebel.
well when you make beings that have there own free will you cant control them or he would have just made robots. the same way you can't control your children only show them the best path.If your child wants to hate you and tries to kick you out of your house and take over because they want to be you. what are you going to do?
That'll teach those little bastards to rebel against me!
*****
Fell sorry for who?
*****
People attack things they don't understand or don't want. People have to attack things they don't understand about God when he had given the law to men because there is no fault finding in Jesus Christ. They base there ideas on experiences they have had. When these experiences were never originally intended to be had. Men wouldn't be such pigs if we weren't exposed to constant sexually imagery. The bibles slavery is just modern day employment. Ones boss has complete control over a mans family and life even thought he doesn't "OWN" them.
I have found in my many years of being a Christian and many years of not being a Christian it all boils down to people wanting to write there own code of wrong and write. Basically accountability. Most of the same people who hate God and deny he exist and created them. Would be fine with the idea of space aliens creating them because they would still get choose what they want to be wrong and write. They would have no problem being created by them or thanking or worshiping them for making us.
I personally don't understand how someone can look at the universe and this planet and think that God is moron. Not to mention the fact that we are made of DNA coded programed living software that streaches to the moon and back. Life is beautiful when people choose to live like Jesus and listen to what he said. Yet people CHOOSE not to and wounder why we have hell on earth. Gods not a moron he just gave us the ability to be morons if we choose =0
Every person on the planet knows that they are important and not just a random process of zombie slim that started living millions of years ago and mutated into thinking,breathing, living beings capable of love, hate murder and kindness. This to me is truly silly notion yet Christians are the ones who get made fun of? All i can do is try and be like Jesus to the best of my ability and if Gods not real then cool. If he is even better and i say this dropping all of my personal experiences because i have had many encounters that would be classified as supernatural. Yet it is up to every person to choose there own path and walk out there own salvation with God. All i can do is try and point the way.
Personaly i think everyone knows in there heart that life is no accident yet i can't go around calling people a liar who say they don't know. I think it boils down to people not wanting to do as they are told. Kinda like have good parents on earth. We don't always want to do as say. Yet what they are saying is best thing for us. I just hope in some way that i have helped you see that the God i love. Is not a moron because some guy on youtube makes a video about something he doesn't understand and doesn't want to try and understand. Lots of love and God Bless.
I think god would be a moron or sadistic if he intended for boys to have strong sexual desires by the age of 12 when they're going through puberty, and then tell them that lust, which comes naturally at that stage of life, is a sin! What! Nietzsche was right. Christianity is anti-nature. It takes what comes naturally and makes it a sin.
I love the fact that God had a king and a jack in his hand. Was that short for 'King James'?
nice eye
oooh
TheIronwil king of jews
TheIronwil kill Jesus
Could have got a Diamond on the River.
*god objects to foreskin, satan: “you can always fold”
Big fan.
What will I do if men have a higher sex drive than women? Check ur hand
So now we know what 666 is the number of the beast. It all makes sense now. it was the poker hand that screwed up the world.
michalchik
we got foreskin and massive loads of jizz out of it. the period thing was unfortunate
michalchik
The number of MAN for those who have wisdom to understand the logic behind it.
@@kevinstorey6287 This Satan is easily one of the smartest fictional characters of all time.
Woke the wife up by busting out laughing and desperately trying to hide it under the covers. She's angry. Worth it.
@@NonStampCollector I decided that I'd wait until she's asleep again and go back for more. I was holding in the laughter until Noah's Ark and "what are we going to do with the clean animals . Cut their throats and burn them once we reach land" part, but luckily she didn't wake up this time. I'm a fan.
Excellent as usual. What better way to show religion for the joke that it is than to use comedy.
@Hehe Hehe there's that superior morality again....
“I’ll provide SOME of them with ADEQUATE food, SOME of the time!”
You’re a legend, the details you put in your scripts just ties everything together and I love it
I'm not sure which is better-how badly God played his poker at the end, or how strongly Lucifer stroked His ego.
not the only thing he stroked ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
@@thedancingmoonfoxy7272 LMAO
"you designed me with free will."
"That does not mean you have to use it!"
I had that same argument with my grandmother where we argued about free will.
This is one of THE best and funniest anti-theist videos EVER. I really LOVE how you manage to make such a typically unlikable character seem like a victim and like he WAS truly benevolent but was tricked by Satan. Which is actually kind of ironic, since that's ACTUALLY what Christians try and argue is the truth. It's also just really insightful and intelligent. I still maintain that Darkmatter got his ideas from your videos. It's pretty obvious Jeffrey is based on your atheistic voice of reason Angel. Though his animation is most definitely superior and his artwork is much prettier, he doesn't have your cool British accent, and I really like your minimalistic design too.
Thanks Ken. One correction: Australian, not British.
Indeed, DarkMatter has stated that my videos did give him some ideas at the start, but there's no doubt whatsoever that he overtook me in every respect pretty quickly. He is indeed the sempai.
Thanks for the comment.
@@NonStampCollector I know this is years old, but I really can't get into the darkmatter videos as easily. On the other hand I'm currently in my yearly binge of all your videos oldest to newest.
@@NonStampCollector I saw him credit you in a comment on one of his videos which led me to discover your channel. Really like his stuff but must admit i love yours.
yeah but if he was all knowing he couldve just called off the poker game before it even started and smooth talked the devil out of the game. Either that or its a modified view where he isnt omniscient
@@youraveragerobloxkidThat's the funny thing with Christianity. God gives you free will to do evil (like he did to the angels or else Satan couldn't rebel) yet punishes them for choosing a path he KNOWS they will take.
Like, the dude punishes Adam and Eve for eating a fruit he KNEW they would eat, so the obvious question is why not just make them have free will but resist the temptation to eat the fruit?
I mean he did it with Jesus, dude had free will yet never sinned. So just make Adam and Eve like Jesus.
Human childbirth proof of intelligent design...sadistic intelligent design.
Patrick Ramsey thank you for the great picture
lol that winning hand, should've seen that one coming.
Heh, 66 likes
Thanks for teaching me how to play poker
+Jason Qin yes, just get three 6's and you'll always win.
I have only recently become an atheist. I’ve felt like I was alone and I just wanted to say thank you for making these videos. They are a source of humor and inspiration.
I used to be an atheist who believed that life forms adapted and evolved and went extinct over long periods of time because of the principle of the survival of the fittest to randomly changing conditions and environments.
Now I believe that there must be an Intelligent Designer, because it occurred to me that my legs are exactly the right length to reach down to the ground, and so are the legs of most other folks. It requires too much faith to believe that's just due to chance.
And puddles *exactly* fit the hole they are in.
kemosabe1967 If there is too much water it does not fit the hole, it overflows, and if not enough it doesn't reach the top of the hole. Clearly, puddles are not Intelligently Designed. Puddles only exactly fit the hole they are in by chance, or for a temporary period of the puddle's changing existence.
The apparent diameter of the Moon is not Designed to produce perfect eclipses of the Sun. You happen to be living in the brief period when the changing size of the Moon's orbit produces that effect.
However, everybody with legs has a leg length that is Intelligently Designed to reach exactly down to the ground.
And many people are born without use of their legs or with legs at all. Also, vestigial organs disprove intelligent design.
sidd harth 🤣 yes, he’s being hella sarcastic 😝
Is this a joke
Sex is ok between a married couple - it's only a sin if one of them enjoys it.
The graphics aren't state-of-the-art but whoever wrote the script is a genius!
joey rodham and that’s one of the reasons his videos are so great.
The "graphics" in fact are perfect!
No the graphics are clearly perfectly designed. Can't you tell?
"I love being reminded that I exist."
Pure gold, my friend. Pure gold.
Man you were on a roll with videos in 2009-10 :D Amazing video!
+Morgoth Bauglir
Ah yes, the Golden Age.
+NonStampCollector Could I request you to make part-2 of this contest?
+NonStampCollector I do love your videos! I've been thinking of supporting you on patreon because I do really enjoy them. But damn, money is tight right now! Can you tell me what you consider a full NSC video? Would I expect them to be along the lines of this video or ones such as the "Context!" video(my favorite by the way)?
broland80917 If money's tight, then just don't go to the bother. My setting up a Patreon account is not intended to bring the slightest bit of stress to anyone ever. Your thumbs up and shares are enough to bring warmth to my bitter atheist heart.
+NonStampCollector There you go being all thoughtful and shit...typical atheist
This video should belong to a museum.
Holy molly, I don't laugh so hard in AGES
dANG this channel is just a paradise!!
Over the many years, I’m pretty sure that I’ve repeat watched this more than any other video of TH-cam. Absolute classic!
If 1000 sperm cells per day was the breaking point for two testicles instead of one, then for 50 million sperm a day we should have at least 50.000 testicles. :D :D :D
cuz he had to put em outside IG??
Jillum89 yay math
"You're gonna invent it, then conquer it? That'll be impressive."
Thumbs up if you'd like to see part two for women! XD LMAO
We already know how that ends.
666 likes 😈
The story of Job pretty much started off like this... God and Satan having a bet. Awesome story, all for shits n giggles.
I see you watch darkmatter2525 too. man with good taste.
Satan: Ha ha ha! I win! You know what, when you’re writing you’re book tell everybody that my number is 666 so that you’re always reminded of the three of a kind that I beat you with.
Your*
You're = You are = You do be
Your = of you = belonging to you
Is that so hard?
Can't you just tell the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit?
Tail bone, wisdom teeth, appendix, tonsils, auricular muscles(to wiggle ears), palmaris Longis(useless muscle found in some), fabella, plica semilunaris, palmar grasp reflex... No *intelligent* designer would add features that are useless. But sure enough, they all point to evolution and our animal ancestral tree.
Not to um actually, but the appendix actually has a store on gut bacteria just in case there is none in the intestines, basically just a kickstart of a (bacterial) culture. Still very prone to getting infected and rupturing then killing someone if its unnoticed. Especially to those who menstruate cus it could just feel like very heavy cramps (Source: my best friend thought their Appendicitis was just really debilitating period symptoms and almost didn't go the hospital cus of this), or just in general cus it can feel like just a really nasty stomach bug, I'd very much call that a flaw.
Excuse me? Auricular muscles aren't useless. They are EXCELLENT for comedy and party tricks!
Wisdom teeth not so much though, as I have found out.
I was expecting God to be the unreasonable one like he always is to his Angels. also shouldnt God's omnipitence let him win :p, maybe he secretly wanted these things.
D D If you know that your cards are worse than those of the other person you still cant win
Bl4ck St0rm
Exactly. so why would he keep accepting the raise?
D D I dunno... Because hes dumb af?
Its because they were playing Texas holdem and Texas hadnt been discovered yet
Yahweh is clearly not omnipotent. Never was.
To me, Yahweh seems like a lesser god that took credit for the creation of the world, but didn't actually create anything other than angels; and that's really no different than the god Pan (also a lesser god) creating the satyrs.
The true creator of the world would be Mother Nature herself (or as the Wiccans call her: The Mother Goddess).
Worst part is it's not _ever_ a useless flap of skin, it's actually pretty damn important to have, not to mention the metric tonne of pleasure receptors it has.
Cellidor It's useless and looks fucjing disgusting.
@@williamwade9779 wrong wrong wrong
@@Cryptickiller-ry2os It does look funny tho
@@dame3323 dicks look funny/weird in general.
You'll get more hate for this than for saying a given god doesn't exist on a predominantly theist forum.
Hitchens responds to a joke about male genital mutilation by shaming the guy, demanding an apology, and asks him what if a muslim person were in here had made that joke about his little girl not missing the piece of skin they cut away? Would the audience have laughed and applauded? How is it at all different?
And 99% of the apologia in favor of male infant genital mutilation boils down to "My daddy was ignorant and he had it done to me as it had been done to him, so I'm gonna have it done to my son, too."
As to women saying they like men better if part has been cut off, fu
Finally a biblical origin of life story that makes a little sense.
This is some of the most sophisticated humor I've ever encountered. Spot on and well researched and thought out. Brilliant. I'm going to show this to my 13 year old son and watch him cackle laughing. I can't wait.
This explains SO much.
Ohhh.... I love being reminded that I exist....
thanks stalin
I’m Rick
9:25 Having just finished my period, that hit hard 😖😂
War after war, after war, after war, after war,… LMAO
I know this will probably never happen, but I would always love to see the sequel to this video
"You never sing songs about my inherent properties!"
Bahaha I'm dying over here.
I couldn't stop laughing, great job on this one.
Laughing all the way through the video. One of the funniest videos I have ever seen.
Although it's obvious who won the rematch, thumbs up if you also want to watch the video on their rematch for the female reproductive organ.
"But I designed them to reabsorb their uterine lining for reuse, it's just biochemically wasteful to have them painfully bleed it out!"
"I'll tell everyone that you love them so much they should hate themselves to compensate."
"Ooh, I do love unfounded deference and groveling..."
i find it halarious that God is kinda getting turned on by the thought of having his name hallowed and getting a goat killed for him.... with words like thee and thou and don't forget shalt
These are so insanely good. You kinda changed my life with them.
and after this he commanded “ye shall not gamble”
This is hands down my favorite video you’ve made. I hate you’re not making content anymore, but understand the life can get in the way.
Thanks for helping me realize that religion wasn’t for me.
Gabriel Philips man, all Im going to say is that i hope you find the truth. Living in fear of hell for the rest of your life is not worth it, because it’s not real. Angels aren’t real, either, no are they described that way in the Bible.
Also, the earth is not flat. There is proof, you just need to seek it out.
Gabriel Philips and that’s all well and good friend. I’m glad you can see some of the plot holes. That being said, I can’t tell you what you (or anyone else) have seen, but the sheer fact that you can’t prove it beyond what you’ve seen doesn’t lend credence to it having actually happened.
Grief is difficult and can make your brain go haywire. I know, as I’ve been there. Again, I cant tell you what you believe you saw, but There’s no reason for me to think it was anything but a hallucination. Same with anyone else whose claimed to have seen an angel. either that, or they’re lying.
@SedeDeConhecimentoCanal when you have sleep paralysis, you hallucinate, so It really is no proof of anything.
@SedeDeConhecimentoCanal Hallucination.
12 years later and I'm still dying to see the sequel about the female reproductive system.
Seriously dude, this is the only anti-theistic channel I ever watch just because your videos and ways of phrasing things are fucking hilarious. Love all your stuff, man
This God character created by you, Stampy, is such an awesomely hilarious being. I love his evil, ignorant stupidity and the way he moans: "I love being reminded of my existence." Your writing and voicing are superb. Okay, the paintjob is generally crappy but who gives a shit. :D Laughing my ungodly ass off to your videos. You make me happy, divine video maker. Praise to you!
Friggin HELLarious! And so very DUH! Yet BRILLIANT 'tis the maker of this film. I can't imagine how far one's head would have to be up one's tushy to NOT SEE this.
Eye Of Saige why do you talk like this
14 years on this is great writing and convincing performances
"ooo I love being reminded that I exist" :D... My new favourite channel. I cant believe I only found this out now.
"I mean, I REALLY, REALLY don't want there to be a flap of skin over the end of his thing!" 🤣
You're killing me! I love your videos. They're pure gold!
It would be abominable. Surely you agree?
11 years and dis still don’t got a mili. You hate to see it, dis shit is a masterpiece. *chef’s kiss*
This is so brilliant :D If there is a god he totally got taken for a ride by satan with his design
My brother and I recently deconstructed and that makes particularly these videos extra funny. We were both in tears. Thanks for these timeless epics man
All Humans need to repent & Believe in Jesus as their God. Why? Because all Humans have sinned (lied, lusted sexually, stolen, dishonoured parents, unbelief etc). Avoid the fires of Hell (justice of God) and choose Heaven today. Jesus defeated death by rising from the dead. GOD IS HOLY
Absolutely genius. I cannot believe I just found this 8 years later. Whoever downvoted this, must be some serious mental fuck up. Even if you're a die hard bible-fundamentalist you need to recognize the train of thought that explains all these aspects of human sexuality in the context of intelligent design. But I guess that's just it... just keep avoiding to think about how to make fucking sense about your own beliefs.
Dude, I just found your videos, they are all hilarious.
i pray! for your videos to go viral so i can laugh to this with everybody, your videos are great and the jokes are god like
“If you design them gullible, they’ll worship you for that I suppose” 😭
To whoever made this; fuckin cheers mate. I needed this.
I feel like I just watched an older brother coax his younger brother into fucking up his school project.
I''m actually shocked at how well this has aged.
I come to these videos every once in awhile. It’s like a pilgrimage
I'm disgusted and insulted at this video's suggestion that God keeps his word!
This is 100% exactly how it happened and that's exactly how I'm going to explain to my kids when they ask after school 😂😂
“Ugly hairy bag made from chicken skin”. I could have died laughing right there. This is great.
I showed this to my dad who's a pastor, he loved this
This is your friendly reminder not all religions people are assholes with no sense of humor.
Unfortunately nonstamp won't care, he'll still treat every Christian like shit just for being a believer in something, character doesn't matter to this bias prick
Of course not.
But many are, though. :)
Omniscient but didn’t know Satan’s hand.
"I love to be reminded I exist"
- the point of the internet
God, it's been a while since I watched this. Broke out laughing in a public computer lab. Good stuff, if ever stuff was good!
I have literally watched this so many times I cant count. Liked, shared, even downloaded (legally). I only now have realized for yahwizzle to have still gotten his requests, Lucy was the compassionate one.
Sorry I just discovered this channel, but that is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time.
Just now seeing this 9 years after the fact, but thank you for creating such an entertaining video.
"....you never sing songs about my inherent properties!"
Amazing.
I love your videos. I watched this one when it came out. Very memorable. I hope you come up with a new series soon!
I just found your channel yesterday and I've since watched all of your videos. Fucking hilarious. Thank you
Its actually 80 million per day per testicle.
LarlemMagic Oh no, did God gamble on this AGAIN?
@@KTC88 This time Yahweh was a bit luckier :D
"And I'm gonna provide *some* of them with adequate food, *some* of the time!"
😂😂😂😂
All Humans need to repent & Believe in Jesus as their God. Why? Because all Humans have sinned (lied, lusted sexually, stolen, dishonoured parents, unbelief etc). Avoid the fires of Hell (justice of God) and choose Heaven today. Jesus defeated death by rising from the dead. GOD IS HOLY
@@thereisnonegoodbutgodjohn363 oh, it's you again 🙄
@@noone3216 Hey man how are you> Clearly Jesus is purauing you using me. He loves you so love Him back
@@thereisnonegoodbutgodjohn363 Hard pass. Besides, have you even considered that it's just as likely that jesus is using me to talk sense into you, but now he's stopped because you're not hearing anything he's saying? When I stop replying to or even acknowledging your comments, will that be all the proof you need, or will you rationalise it away as an impossibility that the conduit could be me?
Still one of my favorites. Had to come see it again. "By the time I'm done with you, I'll have them, I don't know, bleeding out of it or something." 🤣
0:29 "You designed me with free will"
*whining like a 3 year old* "But you dont have to keep useing it!"
Hilarious!! :D I never grow tired of Nonstampcollector!
And the "ohhh, you like that, dont you.. ;)" is so darn good!
Bring the popcorn, I'm watching this again
Woo,I love being reminded that I exist!
“Oooh, I love being reminded that I exist”. “Oooh, I’d love for my name to be hallowed”. Great lines.
I'm glad you managed to get the correct colours for the playing card suits 🙏
Awesome! Great piece NSC. I like this approach to ID, not just pointing at its lack of scientific credulity but actually showing how illogical it is to think that we were created intelligently. Creationists always go on about how perfect the human species is, but when you really examine the subject we are far from perfect, very far. The imbalances noted in this vid rightly suggest a very UNintelligent designer. Good work NSC!
You can attack the anthropic principle the same way; the universe wasn't created in such a way that is perfect for humans, the universe is NOT a great place for humans. We only thrive on this incredibly small portion of an emmense volume that is almost entirley uninhabitable.
Just remembered, the term i was looking for was "fine tuned". The universe is not "fine tuned" for human life, as so many people like to say. It's a harsh unihabitable vacuum.
And the earth is not "fine tuned" for humans either. We, via evolution and natural selection, are fine tuned to it. And even that is subjective. If i was truly fined tuned to earth (or visa versa) i wouldn't get cold in the winter and have to wear clothes to survive, etc. etc.
I'm fucking dying here...
NonStampCollector your videos are so great!
I'm so glad I found this channel. Haven't had such a good laugh in years.
Out of all atheist videos on TH-cam this is by far my favorite one! I keep coming back to it just to laugh. It’s just hilarious
This video is so amazing that it must have been created by intelligent design. Only God could've created something so perfect.
In the future, when Christians conquer the world with peaceful and loving wars, they will use this video for further proof that God exists. They will say that God took the form of atheists so he could make this perfect video to test the faith of his believers. They will say, "How else could something so intelligently designed exist without a God?"
Yup, NonStampCollector kicks ass! This is BRILLIANT!!!
I think this is your best video, watched it nearly 10 years ago and it's still gold.