No. Been with my girlfriend for almost 18 years now since we were 14 and she loves how smart and analytical I am and how I can make connections she cannot.
Agreed. I haven’t yet mastered it. I think we (I) have focused on other areas of my life and I’d say I’m very successful career wise but long term relationships are troublesome. I’m too critical of myself/ idealist and an idealist of my partners. Also, I don’t like letting people in, I’d say if intj’s strive to be a well oiled machine, letting someone into the motherboard and circuits is scary and we have to protect ourselves at all costs for fear of damage that they could do to us. I’m having therapy in this area of my life.
Absolutely I can 100% relate with this. Coach Corey Wayne How to be a 3% Man helps me to date more beautiful women but it is hard for me to find someone worth my time. Also, I think to myself - "I'm better than just a screw" so not into bar going or just messing around because it isn't something I value
Intj women ALWAYS follow their head and not their heart. If a guy is broke, with no plan to fix it , isnt compatible, a jerk , consistently looks at his phone during a date - do you think she wants a second date with him because hes cute?
Based. Society calls out INTJs, especially INTJ women, for not advancing/forming relationships, never realising that most of society doesn't even meet our expectations/standards.
This is a very false comment. I knew proud INTJ woman who got knocked up by 3 or 2 different dudes, single with 3 kids at 31, one of which she had recently. You INTJ people have the biggest egos. But many of you guys are just ignorant and foolish as everyone else.
How is it different from other relationships? I’ve wanted to know. I’m INTJ and I’m super curious and VERY happy to see it last so long So is it like Snape got hitched to Wednesday Addams or what?
@@kanedakent3880 I don't really know how other relationships are. My previous relationships were a long time ago and were not successful. There was a lot of miscommunication. With my wife and I, we're a team. We rarely argue, although it can get brutal when we do. We discuss things and work things out together. We work in the same basic field (Medical IT) but I'm more design and development and although she was originally a developer, she moved into management.
The irony: You care about someone and try to reason with them (coming from a true, honest place out of "care" and general conversation), then it comes across as an attack or critique.
So true. But i think the issue is that most people aren't prepared to receive the raw truth like we give/can easily receive. We can give it to them nicely, slowly, gently, and with much compassion, but all we know is raw truth. So no matter what, it comes across as an attack or critique simply because its not what they want to hear you say. They want you to agree with them. And oftentimes, to disagree with them is an attack.
Just remember - Human beings who aren't INTJs , Are the reason why INTJs are leaders , To prevent other INTJs from taking over... Also - It's possible that INTJs were released when Pandora's Box was opened ... Or when Adam consumed the forbidden fruit from the Tree of Knowledge
After dealing with the touchy-feely, spontaneous, anything-goes-type dude who turned out to be a covert narcissist, and interview where everything is upfront and clear cut would be quite refreshing.
@@saahil6624 he seemed like my type but it was only later during companywide testing with Myers Briggs that we found out we were both INTJs. But for successful relationships, like attracts like
As an INTJ with a string of failed relationships, this explains EVERYTHING! Yes, in most cases, I felt my partner pulling away and not wanting to be with me as much anymore. I've just given up on relationships.
I’m an INTJ and I am not single, but I will admit my personality is very hard to deal with. I found a man that I literally never argue with. He’s an awesome guy. Probably super rare for INTJs to find their soulmate. I’ll admit we don’t always agree with everything as far as having different opinions but we basically know how to calmly discuss our different opinions without ever getting upset.
My daughter recently discovered that she has a lot in common with my father. She told him he makes her feel less different and he keeps telling me how happy her statement made him, because he's always felt too different 🥰
@helgaioannidis9365 so happy for your daughter that she has a great father-daughter relationship (and happy for you too). I grew up so misunderstood. Still misunderstood. It can be lonely when people don't get you...and I don't mean that I need company (not lonely in that sense - but I'm sure you understand), just lonely in being misunderstood. I don't need more friends or company, I just need more intjs in the world - or, at least more introverts.
As an INTJ-T personality type, I have a huge problem with taking things personally, my life quality is suffering so much from that. I've been trying to solve that for years, but the only thing I "accomplished" is, I'm not showing my emotions anymore like i did when i was younger. I realized that showing them, only leads to even more pain and rejection from others.
I have had many relationships, and they usually end because I simply can't commit. I can't picture myself being married. On a scale from 0 - 100, my desire to be married is zero. I can't live with someone without feeling smothered. I need my space. I guess that I am destined to remain single.
I (INTJ) married at age 31 - and married a INFJ who was 33. We’ve been married happily 20 years. She is a middle child, so she is a peacekeeper, and not overly emotional.
I find people to be shallow, absent, lacks engagement, I feel like they’re there because they don’t have anything else better to do, they’re boring, bored. People talk lot of shit, annoying to be around, lacks passion or hobbies, self interested, self absorbed I can’t stand being around people who lack communication skills They constantly talk about themselves Yeah that’s why I’m still single
Don't worry love, there's plenty of similar people out there. Only you just have to get yourself past the loud mouths. I would also advise, maybe not to be as concerned in the future as to whether they talk about themselves or not such that it disqualified somebody, but more about where their tone is coming from. The real loud mouths talk about themselves and are abrasive to boot. Bottom line, don't hold talking about themself, against them, because lots of them can talk about all manner of things, but the most complete thing they can talk about is themselves, because they're probably the best expert at that subject, and if you end up dating them, the more you hear, probably the better (IOW, more red flags to see). If you don't understand that, look at the opposite. What if somebody were dating you, and you never would say anything about yourself? Why would they date you more then? They need to know a bit about you. As time passes, you and he, both own up more, spilling a bit more of self into the subject matter. The key isn't so much whether they talk about themselves, but whether they'll talk about anything else, and of course, where their tone is coming from.
Amen to that, it can be frustrating. I'm an INTP and I enjoy being single but I've enjoyed my intimate long term relationships as well. I won't even consider anything long term if I'm not mentally stimulated.
This is so accurate it's frightening. Been in many relationships. Not to mention 13 years of marriage. I understand myself better at 60 years of age. Not sure how I even pulled that off. Single now, staying single.
INTJ Guy here. This is spot on. It does feel pretty nice to be understood somewhere even if the majority of the people I’ve met often misunderstood me.
I dont bury my feelings, its just that its not relevant and a waste of time. I feel and feel hard. Ill have myself a good cry and then kinda talk to myself, saying, "ok thats enough of that" now time to focus on a solution
INTJ married for 12 years to a INFJ (borderline I borderline J). My good friend is an INFJ (borderline I) married to an INTJ for 17 years. Both our marriages are solid
@@SirenASMR_ Or they're actually an ENFP, that self diagnosed as INFJ. Because most people that are INFJ on the internet, aren't actually INFJ, and if she's "borderline I and J" that sounds a lot more like an ENFP to me.
Agree with all except being impatient. I'm super patient by default in most cases. The only times I'm not is when I'm irritated or someone's talking and I already know the answer and am waiting for the other to finish talking.
If I have to be patient, then I can be. But if there is a situation where I have the option to do something faster and it is being denied for no logical reason, I am impatient as hell.
You know what I would like to see, somebody leading an obvious joke, but then it's not a joke at all. For example, just in church a few minutes ago, the priest thought he would be funny with Mother's Day, and told a tale of him and his mother going to a movie "because she only wants to eat popcorn". That's a massive clue already as it turned out. I did predict the following punch line though, and as weak as it was, I hesitate to call it a punchline. He stated, I got mom a big bucket of popcorn and a drink, and we sat down to watch the movie (here comes the joke). I thought this was rather dumb to buy all that popcorn, because she's 82, and she's going to eat only a fistful. (here's the obvious punchline, see if you can figure it out before you read it) After the movie, I looked over, and saw her entire bucket was empty." And now for me to rip this apart. He presumes she ate it, but a really clever jokester, would have paused, and then said, and then I looked over to the seat next to her (another obvious punchline) and there was all the popcorn spilled into it. I was thinking to myself though, what if we take his joke, and then not make it a joke, such as "You know all she's going to eat is a fistful (pause) After the movie I looked over at her bucket, and what did I see? She had ate a fistful.🤣🤣🤣" Now that would be funny, but in a very odd way. He sets you up for an obvious joke, then says the complete opposite of what the punchline would be. I might had been rolling on the floor at that point. Only people seeing punchlines coming would have been laughing. That's what may be known as advanced comedy, or to most people as bad jokes. Can you imagine the guffaws from such a joke🤣🤣🤣? Everybody is looking around "Where's the punchline?"😛
This video is so accurate. I'm an INTJ that loves self-improvement and executing my long term goals to perfection. Social interaction drains me and I find it to be futile but it's a necessary evil in my profession. My ENTP husband tells me that small talks are essential for networking and making human connections. And I do get it, but somehow for me if the relationship is not deep or meaningful it's just not worth the effort. No wonder I have very few friendship and relationships to speak of but I honestly like it that way!
"J" does not mean a type is organised, it simply tells which axis is used in dealing with the outside world and decision making: the Judging axis (Thinking or Feeling), or the Perceiving axis (Sensation and iNtuition). For "E" types this will use the first function, in "I" types, this will be the second. INTJs aren't necessarily very clean and organised (though we're usually much more so than INTPs), and may get annoyed at having to make lists. INTJ traits are often mixed up with ISTJs and ENTJs, and our Te is strongly overemphasised.
Nobody talks about being "clean", but INTJ is definitely better organized! Otherwise, how would you close the project and achive goals - and "J" means exactly that (See CG Jung Typology)
Jung didn't use MBTI's four letter system with J and P on the end. We achieve goals through vision and persistence. Between an INTJ and an ISTJ, an ISTJ will be much better organised - as will any type that is high in Si - while an INTJ has Si in the 8th slot, the most unconscious function.
That’s true, my idea of “organized” is not a traditional one. I have an “organized mess” I know where everything is, and why it’s there, 90% of the time I have things put in certain places out of practicality. You see a basket of clean laundry in the entryway and I see my clean work laundry that I cannot forget to take with me so I put it where I sit to put my shoes on each morning and that way I don’t have to carry it across the house either. My work clothes are on my bathroom counter because if I don’t put them there I’m gonna want to stay in bed longer wanting to avoid looking for them
As an INTJ When I’m doing a competitive project: I lock myself in my room and work on it for hours planning When I’m doing something I hate: I play with my cat to procrastinate as long as possible How organized am I? People call me messy but I organize things the way I would understand. For example I hate music notes so I created a new music language to listen to my favorite classical music at school by thinking
I am an INTJ male. Found the woman of my dreams in 1980 and we have been successfully married since 1982. Don’t give up, it can be done. She is good at things that I am not good at, I am good at things she isn’t good at. We make a good team and are better together.
I'm an INTJ and I've been married twice for a total of 46 years. It's tough to find someone who can take my weirdness and lack of social skills, but not impossible.
I like how you described exactly how I feel. It's extremely hard for people to understand me and how distant we are in crowded spaces because we want to be liked but it's hard for others to understand what we go through
I'm single because of the negative programming I suffered in my childhood. I'm curious if you could do a study to see if it's common for INTJ's to have had bad experiences in early life. Are there happy INTJ's?
yeah i would consider myself INTJ's, i am very longterm goal oriented, i am not stupid but also not a genius. Maybe thats why i never had problems socializing, thus i had a pretty good childhood. But you can definitely outgrow certain behaviors if you really want to...
@@manuelweichelt528 Yeah, could be. I am a genius and grew up among morons, so I had a lot of problems. That doesn't explain why my parents were such assholes, of course.
@@anonygent i understand i dont know your parents but if they where really intelligent they might just not value emotional support and if they are "stupid" they might see you as an alien...
I've tried the waters of the dating world just to know if I'm even able to get into a relationship, and it turns out I can. Even though I'm a 100% introvert. I even had a few people romantically interested in me. And all that is enough for my ego, because I really, truly do not want to ever be in a relationship with anyone. I see all the relationships in my family and friends and I never tell myself: "That's what I want.". My time and other resources are too precious to spend them on anyone else than myself or my close family and friends. Every time someone asks me about my love life, I always respond with: "Why would I intentionally make my life worse?". Does anyone else here have a similar opinion on this?
Find someone who’s similar to you and has the same view in life, it makes things so much easier. I’m an INFP and I’m very picky when it comes to relationship because I strive being single.
I'm a married INTJ, but it did take 13 years to go from dating to marriage, had to absolutely make sure the relationship was not going to fail and that we were both in the right space in our career, finances, etc.
31 INTJ here been with my wife for 10 years total its been great but she heavily persued me.Its been a challenge to adjust expectations for my wife we cant expect our spouse to think and feel exactly like us its a struggle and needs patience
It is not that all INTJs necessarily remain single in life.Obviously,some INTJs like to stay single their whole life.However,many INTJs are successfully settled in long-lasting relationships though.
@@ObsidianSpearhead If they call you a stalker you're doing it wrong :D. No one ever accused me though it's sometimes funny and sometimes kinda sad how I remember everyone and no one remembers me.
I would suggest that not all INTJs write everything in a calendar. I basically just memorize everything and do it. I never forget anything. So it would be a waste of time to write it down. My apartment is a chaos but I know where everything is. So there is no need to organize it. That's effective.
Are you sure you are an INTJ. I cannot handle clutter and chaos. It is not effective or efficient. I have always found engineers with messy desks to be lacking attention to detail and excellence in their work. They say they can find everything too.
@@run4cmt, that because you need order to find things. I don't need it. It would be a waste of energy to make order. No system is needed when you know where every single component lies.
Will be married for 29 years this coming January. My husband is an ENTP and I am the INTJ. He knows when to give me space, will have lively debates with me and understands my nuances and I his.
The video seems to be describing young INTJs who haven't done much personal development yet... because many of these issues can be worked on. We INTJs can learn to be more patient, and to accept our partners different ways of thinking (just like they can learn to accept ours!). And we certainly can learn to regard their capacity for working with feelings as a power that is complementary to our own logical-analytical power. (By the way it is pretty darn useful sometimes to have a loved one who is happy to deal with the small talk and messy interpersonal business while we space out to develop our latest theories!)
It’s sad.. I honk because I’m emotionally withdrawn. I lack emotional intelligence. One day I bought a book about “how to become emotionally intelligent “ my teenager found the book I was embarrassed.
I've said it all my life... "Being in a relationship is on the same level as natural childbirth; I'll NEVER understand either one!!!" My animals have more sense & respect...🖤
Well. they kind of are. That you feel a certain way is a factual thing most of the time. Also for 99% of things I agree that they aren't suitable for decision making, but, what about things that aren't rational, like love?
@@ZTRCTGuy yeah, can't imagine how many times I have screwed myself over because my heart pulled a mutiny on my head and I fell in love with someone who was obviously not a good match.
you kind of contradicted yourself there. if you choose something that feels more logical but will make you less happy than no making logical decisions is not connected to happiness. and if the stats of any intj romance is correct, the majority of intj-like relationships find a good marriage when they either find somebody else like them or find somebody a little similar but eventually stop being intj and slowly change into a different personality as they learn to navigate their marriage.
i wouldnt say INTJ are ALWAYS single... i mean im a INTJ and i have a fiance, weve been together for 7 years. Do we get along? not always. but then again what relationship doesnt have a few flaws?
It's so nice to hear that other people find social situations as vapid and empty; that crowds are only good for getting lost in; and that small talk is anathema.
Thanks for explaining about grip stress. That is a perfect explanation of my tendency to blow up occasionally. Thankfully as you mature the explosive reactions become less frequent and less violent.
Oh my god… the movie thing… oops. 🤣 the fact that I solved the game of clue in 2 minutes with my first guess and didn’t fully pay attention to “the glass onion” but was able to explain to my husband the entire plot and who did it in 5 minutes after the movie ended cause he said “I didn’t get it” 🤦🏻♀️ he goes “I just want to watch something without you telling me how it ends after only watching the first 10 minutes” that’s why I love movies with a lot of unexpected plot twists that keep me engaged but I get sad when they end cause they’re hard to find and I can’t watch it again without knowing the ending already.
Pirates of the Caribbean annoyed the hell out of me because it was so formulaic and predictable. I was saying the lines with the characters about every third line without having seen it before. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, on the other hand, took me completely by surprise.
I HATE this ability to see how things will turn out, but as I watch tv shows much more, and very little movies, I'm really keen on seeing tv plots. Nothing could be more irritating, and that's to me. I can manage it much more with movies, where I deliberately try to shut my brain off for entertainment's sake. Hell, when things become predictable, I'm bored enough by that point, in a lot of cases I will absolutely refuse to forecast what will happen next, and instead think what I'm going to do when I get home, almost completely ignoring what is going on in front of me🤣. But I have a good one for you here. I have the entire X-Files series on blu-ray. You ever want to watch a series that will just about ruin your every forecast, watch that one. Nothing is safe. I go through entire episodes, sort of on edge, constantly wondering what will happen next, and coming up empty handed. Oh, I was making predictions for a while, and gave up, something I consider quite fantastic. I'll give you a clue how bad it was for me. There was an episode that ended up having a continuing at the end, and I didn't even see that coming, for it looked like it was shutting down the episode, but it wasn't. Once I thought I had that trick down, I had another instance of that, and again I failed to see it coming. Then I REALLY ran into it. I think I saw one that continued, where it was obvious it would, and I was right, so at the end of the continuing I'm content that's the end, but no, believe it or not, they had a trilogy or episodes, all continuing, and I never saw it coming, perhaps primarily because I never saw a trilogy of episodes directly connecting before, but only two parters. Let me tell you, when they're being that unpredictable just on whether the episodes are over or not at times, you know the episode content themselves is totally, directly trying to be unpredictable. I haven't got to the later seasons yet, but I think they're more predictable there. For crying out loud, they had one episode that started off like the Cops tv show, and I thought there was something wrong with my disc. They had a couple of flashes in the show intro, dumping their usual intro for a Cops one, where I saw Muldar and Scully, so at least it looked like it MIGHT be X-Files, but the whole episode was that way, where it was done exactly like Cops. I just can't believe those guys were so blasted unpredictable. It has to be in my top five of tv shows, just because it's virtually totally unpredictable, at least for the first six seasons. This gives off an air of creepinees throughout the show, because you never know what's coming next, in the immediate, or further down the road. Truly a wild ride AFAIC. It's one of the few tv series too, where I have any feelings whatsoever for the two main characters. Just feel for them - I don't know why. I think all the unpredictableness just leaves me in such unfamiliar territory, it opens me up to see other things than I usually would, and they do strive for some character development.
@@anonygent I got season seven I think it was, of The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriett. I've seen them before, and what I saw I liked, but maybe it was just their newness that got me at the time. That season was all but an absolute disaster by current standards, or any standards. During it, I experienced the Stockholm Syndrome, because everything about it was SOOOO bad, that when I hit a really good episode, I played it like seven times in a row. I thought to myself, why in the world wouldn't they make other episodes like that one? It was sheer genius. But the predictableness? Let me tell you, I've seen Gilligan's Island over and over, and other such shows, and despite us thinking that would have me seeing the jokes coming, which doubtlessly does happen some, I cannot predict jokes on that show, anywhere close to my first, and last viewing of Ozzie season seven. That's how bad the predictableness was. For example, on Ozzie, I knew the whole joke in advance, not just the punchline, it was that bad. Very old jokes. For example, if Ricky lost his mind, you could count on TWO, not one, not three, but two mind losing jokes later, and you always knew precisely when they were coming too, almost as if the screen lit up and said "Here comes the losing his mind joke" To make it worse, while canned laughter can be annoying, I grew up with it, so it's not so bad with me, but this show was the worst, because it seemed to have this prerequisite, that if nobody said anything funny for twenty seconds, the canned audience had to laugh. I'm dead serious. Naturally, with such an outlook, they had LOTS of times where their laughter wasn't even for jokes. The only thing that made this a "little" bit forgivable, was that Ozzie was such a loser, that he could do virtually anything and make a fool out of himself. You think all this is bad? You haven't heard anything yet. The show starts off with a commercial, which can go some 2.5 minutes, then there's the theme. Understand, this is a maybe 26 minute episode threshold. In top of that, a great many episodes was plugging for one of their kids singing, and this often meant TWO songs not just one (and I can't stand singing out of place like that). This means you lost maybe 2.5 minutes at the commercial, then another five minutes on the singing, for a grand total of like 19 minutes of show. This wasn't entirely bad, since I could skip over the singing and commercial, and the show was mostly terrible, so it being so ridiculously usefully short, was a blessing. I recall before the Stockholm episode happened, I kept hoping my dvds would catch on fire or something, so I wouldn't have to watch that slop.😆
@@charles2241 I don't know why you would subject yourself to that torture. 😬 I saw one episode, complete with old commercials, on a low powered TV station, and said, "Never again." I get that it was early TV and they didn't really know what they were doing yet, but it's like they weren't even trying.
I'm a 25 year old INTJ, never been in a relationship cuz I just can't seem to imagine being in a relationship. I think they will find me boring (which I am, kind of) and leave me eventually. Also I have a lot of pet peeves when it comes to relationships.
I am INTJ, so much so that the analyst said she hadn't seen anything like it - and I have been married over 40 years! No other friends, however, so you guys are partly right...
INTJ's are not always single. But it is harder to find someone who can deal with you. You need someone who is very tolerant, and can understand your desire to be somewhat independent with mindset being so different from everyone else.
It would be a lot easier to be in a relationship as an INTJ if so many other people didn't "CHOOSE" to be incompetent, unrealistic, and delusional... while also being devoid of accountability, responsibility, and discipline. I could go on, but I have found that many others with this personality type (INTJ) have dealt with similar situations involving people who choose to be their own downfall in life despite our effort in trying to help problem-solve their issues. Too many people would rather trust in their own delusions and unreasonable ideas than listen to sound advice. Can't really help anyone who doesn't want to help themselves. And thus, the single life it is. lol
Maybe I'm an extreme case, but in my 37 years I never even had a relationship. I just don't know how to meet or connect to people. The few friends I have left I see maybe 4-5 times in a year. We have a great time but that's it. I want to have connections, but it seems like I'm a ghost for society.
Omg, so very true... And this applies not only to romantic relationships. My daughter kind of hates me bec of my intj personality. I tried explaining that I sometimes don't have feelings or emotions or I block them off. I feel bad for her but I dunno wat to do. I think she's a feeling person and I think I am toxic to her 🥴
Yep, I am blunt and straightforward with my points, and there is a logical reason for that. Our touchy-feely society likes everything coated in sugar to the extent that the point gets lost under all the distracting honey drizzle. I guess it helps them feel better about whatever is being said, all the way to the point where they completely miss the message, or the impact is lost. Take away all the excess sweetener, and they have no choice but to see the message clearly for what it is (which is an improvement when you are used to being misunderstood to begin with). I don't aim to be rude, I just tell it as it is. If they have a problem with reality, that's on them.
I think your last two sentences revealed what is really going on here. Consider what you said about touchy-feely, then turn it around on yourself. Their message is getting lost on that drizzle you say, but since you are on an extreme here, the obvious is that you message is getting lost in the attitude. See, they don't see what you say, because they detect hostility easily, which is exactly what you have. You see lack of logic easily, so you don't see what they say. It's all very simple. What was that the Bible said that: If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a ringing gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have absolute faith so as to move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.… I think the touchy-feelies are looking for love as the first thing, so they don't see that out of you, so they turn away. Just a guess.
@@charles2241 yeah good points, it's about having compassion and patience for those who don't see life the same way as you do. There's definitely more to life than logic and efficiency
The problem I have is that my being critical is part of me being radically honest with those close to me. I have learned to tone it down and smooth out how I put things, but people do a lot of dumb things constantly. I also try to explain that I’m not attacking them or have any malicious intent and to take what I say strait, but most people can’t handle criticism and take things very personally. I probably have too thick skin as I love when people give me criticism, because I weigh it to determine its level of validity and learn from it. (Not all criticism is accurate, some people are just mean). Empathy is also very hard for me. I understand very well how others are feeling, but it does not make me feel that way most the time. Example: my best friend gets fired from a lame job. I can try to soothe him, but honest to god, I don’t care and I just hope he finds a new better job soon and I’ll try to be extra nice to him while he’s down. When I have problems, I deeply consider their causes and possible solutions. DO feel, but I THINK about what and why I’m feeling what I’m feeling. Idk what to say when others are feeling something I’m not, but I can give you a thousand possible solutions or things that might help improve the situation.
Oh...dear. I have been a serial monogamist. Nothing lasts. Several partners have mentioned that their friends and loved ones refer to me as a "snob" or "arrogant". I am actually open minded...just shy and logical. In the last 10 years I have done better at masking/acting more like an extrovert. That seems to make things easier for all.
At age 61, only now do I understand the importance of small talk. I’m getting better at it now, but I am now at my age having an even harder time dealing with family get togethers
Found my INFJ out of nowhere, we are finding it troubling and assuring at the same time that both of us are speedrunning through our relationship vs or previous exes (3 months in).. i hope we can keep it together although not gonna lie, the sex is absolutely sensual and crazy.. i literally have to use my brain to keep myself in tune with her feelings and base logic towards her feelings to better understand her. She brings me to my feeling side and i take her towards her thinking side... we compliment so much and we started as best friends although she wanted to confess first by letting me see where it was going. It feels like such a mature relationship..
Today I even had a nightmare that I was misunderstood by a group of people, and they started judging me and lecturing me publicly, raving about their moral superiority... Then I couldn't sleep anymore. Life sucks for INTJs, even if we are good at everything... Unfortunately, if we can't express ourselves and be accepted, everything ends up in the toilet.
I can relate to this. Been on a few dates with another INTJ whom I actually like, but I just don't have it in me to go through with it at the moment. I don't want to have to rely on anyone or have anyone rely on me. I just want to work and then go home alone, thinking about what I did. That's all I'm committed to for now.
As a more mature and experienced INTJ, (many LTRs and STRs, married and divorced), my current logical conclusion is that being in a relationship is simply not worth the effort...highly inefficient use of my time and resources for very little reward. As the saying goes, the juice is simply not worth the squeeze. In general, this concept also applies to the concept of having 'friends'.
My last potential relationship was with an emotionally needy codependent person. It lasted two weeks. That was my longest two weeks in a while. I kept telling her that I need a few days before to be alone and that I hate surprises. But the next day, she'd surprise me at my morning coffee.
I have only one relationship during my first year in HS more because I was curious how was it feels like to have a boyfriend and broke up after about 2 weeks because my curiosity been satisfied. And never in seroius relationship with anyone whole of my life 😅 There's always a reason or two to not jump into one. Especially because I always put myself first when I am still very much in cold headed conditions and refused to compromise with my basic boundary. I don't want to change for anyone but myself or children around me (necessarily) and I dont want any man change for me or for the sake of our relationship. I wish we both match and accepted whatever each other version. Therefore, it's important to truly find the one or better not at all 😂
INTJ have a patience duality. Small trivial stuff that should not be troublesome frustrates the tar out of me when it doesn't go right. However if I'm solving a problem, especially a tough problem, I have more patience than Job.
Every time I hear INTJ stereotypes I find myself in them, except one: for the love of all that is holy I cant keep up with the planner thing. I have my process through the day as I planned it in my head, I have no time, energy nor thinking space for useless writing all of that down. I am always tempted to buy those planners because I like the idea, so I have couple, each one completely empty to this day😂
Do you agree with our reasoning? Let us know!
Add SARCASM...
It's my "go to" to frame anything that doesn't fit into my logical stacks...🖤
The last point. Are you talking about violence?
@@elshinobitv Its related to being reckless in the way of instant gratification and pleasure for example
No. Been with my girlfriend for almost 18 years now since we were 14 and she loves how smart and analytical I am and how I can make connections she cannot.
No, these are all good looking people. Fuck you.
Relationships: the only thing I'm not excellent at.
Ifrī'fr'though
Word
Agreed. I haven’t yet mastered it.
I think we (I) have focused on other areas of my life and I’d say I’m very successful career wise but long term relationships are troublesome. I’m too critical of myself/ idealist and an idealist of my partners. Also, I don’t like letting people in, I’d say if intj’s strive to be a well oiled machine, letting someone into the motherboard and circuits is scary and we have to protect ourselves at all costs for fear of damage that they could do to us. I’m having therapy in this area of my life.
That is a crazy thing to say
Absolutely I can 100% relate with this. Coach Corey Wayne How to be a 3% Man helps me to date more beautiful women but it is hard for me to find someone worth my time. Also, I think to myself - "I'm better than just a screw" so not into bar going or just messing around because it isn't something I value
Small talk is an endurance sport.
Lol
Boring and useless. Sort of like a walking competition where the one who cheats the most wins.
Me: preparing for my phone call with my mom 😬
My mom: how's the weather?
Omg lol
I agree, but you have to start somewhere sometimes.
I literally can't envision myself being in a long term relationship with anyone.
Because of some of the reasons in the video?
I always had a bad habit of overthinking the possible downsides of a relationship, and used those as an excuse... until I met my Entp gf
same i’ve never had a relationship before and all my friend always drift away after a year or two
Tbh, I can definitely envision it. It’s more a matter of “do I really want this?”
Quite literally not very INTJ of you.
Intj women ALWAYS follow their head and not their heart. If a guy is broke, with no plan to fix it , isnt compatible, a jerk , consistently looks at his phone during a date - do you think she wants a second date with him because hes cute?
Based. Society calls out INTJs, especially INTJ women, for not advancing/forming relationships, never realising that most of society doesn't even meet our expectations/standards.
I don't want to be a bang maid. Sue me. 🤷🏽♀️
I don't think these types of guys could be "cute"
This is a very false comment. I knew proud INTJ woman who got knocked up by 3 or 2 different dudes, single with 3 kids at 31, one of which she had recently. You INTJ people have the biggest egos. But many of you guys are just ignorant and foolish as everyone else.
Intj men do the same thing with women. If she doesn't have the things you're looking for, no point in asking her out in the first place.
My wife and I are INTJs. We've been married for 35 years now, and together for 37.
How is it different from other relationships? I’ve wanted to know. I’m INTJ and I’m super curious and VERY happy to see it last so long
So is it like Snape got hitched to Wednesday Addams or what?
@@kanedakent3880 I don't really know how other relationships are. My previous relationships were a long time ago and were not successful. There was a lot of miscommunication.
With my wife and I, we're a team. We rarely argue, although it can get brutal when we do. We discuss things and work things out together. We work in the same basic field (Medical IT) but I'm more design and development and although she was originally a developer, she moved into management.
I want to know as well
I'd assume other stories didn't work out long enough to leave (comparatively contrasting) traces..
Sure. That's why you clicked this video, right?
The irony: You care about someone and try to reason with them (coming from a true, honest place out of "care" and general conversation), then it comes across as an attack or critique.
I’m an INTJ, married for 25 years. It’s *still* an issue, virtually every day. 😑
So true. But i think the issue is that most people aren't prepared to receive the raw truth like we give/can easily receive. We can give it to them nicely, slowly, gently, and with much compassion, but all we know is raw truth. So no matter what, it comes across as an attack or critique simply because its not what they want to hear you say. They want you to agree with them. And oftentimes, to disagree with them is an attack.
@@ChaiSpicyPerfectly said!!
Female INTJ here. I'm a failure in a relationship. I expect men to be as logical as me. Nothing exposes emotions better than an INTJ.
An*
@@diegorojas9737 Of course. My disenchantment with auto correct is why I'm not looking forward to AI and robots
Just remember - Human beings who aren't INTJs , Are the reason why INTJs are leaders ,
To prevent other INTJs from taking over...
Also - It's possible that INTJs were released when Pandora's Box was opened ...
Or when Adam consumed the forbidden fruit from the Tree of Knowledge
OMG yes!
@@cheriemonami I'm an INTJ too and I really hate stupid girls especially my ex .
When I was dating a lot, my dates would tell me that the date felt more like an interview than a date...
What's the point of dating besides finding out about the other person? 🤨
After dealing with the touchy-feely, spontaneous, anything-goes-type dude who turned out to be a covert narcissist, and interview where everything is upfront and clear cut would be quite refreshing.
This is how I feel. What can you bring to our organization, and how long do you plan on staying here?
I thought I was the only one lmao who got told talking to me felt tense and more like an interview. I definitely need to let go and relax a bit
You're not an intj if you've dated a lot lol
I’ve been married to another INTJ for over 30 years. We understand each other
Really how did you find her?
@@derekcrans9899 at work. I found him. That’s where you find the best people
@@riohenry6382your type ?
@@tanjaeubanks sheer luck. And it leaves us exposed on the fronts we’re not strong on. But I still feel like the luckiest person alive
@@saahil6624 he seemed like my type but it was only later during companywide testing with Myers Briggs that we found out we were both INTJs. But for successful relationships, like attracts like
As an INTJ with a string of failed relationships, this explains EVERYTHING! Yes, in most cases, I felt my partner pulling away and not wanting to be with me as much anymore. I've just given up on relationships.
I’m an INTJ and I am not single, but I will admit my personality is very hard to deal with. I found a man that I literally never argue with. He’s an awesome guy. Probably super rare for INTJs to find their soulmate. I’ll admit we don’t always agree with everything as far as having different opinions but we basically know how to calmly discuss our different opinions without ever getting upset.
Intj female here. It's pretty damn sh!t sometimes when you feel so very different from most people in the world
Me too but I'm male and I too love bikes
My daughter recently discovered that she has a lot in common with my father. She told him he makes her feel less different and he keeps telling me how happy her statement made him, because he's always felt too different 🥰
Me too 😢
@helgaioannidis9365 so happy for your daughter that she has a great father-daughter relationship (and happy for you too). I grew up so misunderstood. Still misunderstood. It can be lonely when people don't get you...and I don't mean that I need company (not lonely in that sense - but I'm sure you understand), just lonely in being misunderstood. I don't need more friends or company, I just need more intjs in the world - or, at least more introverts.
😢 it is fucked UP... I grew up without all these informations, always feeling mis... Misplaced, misunderstood...
As an INTJ-T personality type, I have a huge problem with taking things personally, my life quality is suffering so much from that. I've been trying to solve that for years, but the only thing I "accomplished" is, I'm not showing my emotions anymore like i did when i was younger. I realized that showing them, only leads to even more pain and rejection from others.
So relatable. Thank you for sharing.
I think this is what destroyed Elon Musk. He can't take criticism.
I feel you man
I have had many relationships, and they usually end because I simply can't commit. I can't picture myself being married. On a scale from 0 - 100, my desire to be married is zero. I can't live with someone without feeling smothered. I need my space. I guess that I am destined to remain single.
You might have trouble communicating that you need space from the start
I love being alone, having a relationship is a problem for me because its very draining.
I (INTJ) married at age 31 - and married a INFJ who was 33. We’ve been married happily 20 years. She is a middle child, so she is a peacekeeper, and not overly emotional.
I am glad for you. I do think NFs are the best complement to NTs.
INFJs are my favorite. They're on the same wave which makes them easy to understand each other, while providing different perspectives.
I find people to be shallow, absent, lacks engagement, I feel like they’re there because they don’t have anything else better to do, they’re boring, bored. People talk lot of shit, annoying to be around, lacks passion or hobbies, self interested, self absorbed
I can’t stand being around people who lack communication skills
They constantly talk about themselves
Yeah that’s why I’m still single
It’s better to be single than to be with someone you don’t like/someone that does not improve you.
i do that too, but more importantly lack of passion in the other makes every conversation really boring for me...
You mean you like stimulating, intellectual conversation that actually feeds your mind?! You don't say!
Don't worry love, there's plenty of similar people out there. Only you just have to get yourself past the loud mouths. I would also advise, maybe not to be as concerned in the future as to whether they talk about themselves or not such that it disqualified somebody, but more about where their tone is coming from. The real loud mouths talk about themselves and are abrasive to boot. Bottom line, don't hold talking about themself, against them, because lots of them can talk about all manner of things, but the most complete thing they can talk about is themselves, because they're probably the best expert at that subject, and if you end up dating them, the more you hear, probably the better (IOW, more red flags to see).
If you don't understand that, look at the opposite. What if somebody were dating you, and you never would say anything about yourself? Why would they date you more then? They need to know a bit about you. As time passes, you and he, both own up more, spilling a bit more of self into the subject matter. The key isn't so much whether they talk about themselves, but whether they'll talk about anything else, and of course, where their tone is coming from.
Amen to that, it can be frustrating. I'm an INTP and I enjoy being single but I've enjoyed my intimate long term relationships as well. I won't even consider anything long term if I'm not mentally stimulated.
This is so accurate it's frightening. Been in many relationships. Not to mention 13 years of marriage. I understand myself better at 60 years of age. Not sure how I even pulled that off. Single now, staying single.
Yeah we're in the same boat. Never again😊
INTJ Guy here. This is spot on.
It does feel pretty nice to be understood somewhere even if the majority of the people I’ve met often misunderstood me.
INTJ with childhood trauma and abandonment issues. I’m doomed with relationships but have learned to enjoy my solitude.
I need the freedom. I hate being control.
Cousin’s wife to me: why are you single? Me: I don’t want the drama
Fair point
Can relate. I HATE drama. Massive waste of time and annoying.
I dont bury my feelings, its just that its not relevant and a waste of time. I feel and feel hard. Ill have myself a good cry and then kinda talk to myself, saying, "ok thats enough of that" now time to focus on a solution
Can relate! Emotions get you nowhere except into a quagmire.
INTJ married for 12 years to a INFJ (borderline I borderline J). My good friend is an INFJ (borderline I) married to an INTJ for 17 years. Both our marriages are solid
Seems like this pairing is super common!
INFJ is just tolerating your rude insensitive behaviors
@@SirenASMR_ Or they're actually an ENFP, that self diagnosed as INFJ. Because most people that are INFJ on the internet, aren't actually INFJ, and if she's "borderline I and J" that sounds a lot more like an ENFP to me.
The concept of grip stress as a function of Meyers Briggs was a new, key concept for me! So, Thank You for including that in this video!
Agree with all except being impatient. I'm super patient by default in most cases. The only times I'm not is when I'm irritated or someone's talking and I already know the answer and am waiting for the other to finish talking.
That makes sense
I'm impatient when we're supposed to meet at 6pm and you're still not here
If I have to be patient, then I can be. But if there is a situation where I have the option to do something faster and it is being denied for no logical reason, I am impatient as hell.
You know what I would like to see, somebody leading an obvious joke, but then it's not a joke at all. For example, just in church a few minutes ago, the priest thought he would be funny with Mother's Day, and told a tale of him and his mother going to a movie "because she only wants to eat popcorn". That's a massive clue already as it turned out. I did predict the following punch line though, and as weak as it was, I hesitate to call it a punchline.
He stated, I got mom a big bucket of popcorn and a drink, and we sat down to watch the movie (here comes the joke). I thought this was rather dumb to buy all that popcorn, because she's 82, and she's going to eat only a fistful. (here's the obvious punchline, see if you can figure it out before you read it) After the movie, I looked over, and saw her entire bucket was empty."
And now for me to rip this apart. He presumes she ate it, but a really clever jokester, would have paused, and then said, and then I looked over to the seat next to her (another obvious punchline) and there was all the popcorn spilled into it. I was thinking to myself though, what if we take his joke, and then not make it a joke, such as "You know all she's going to eat is a fistful (pause) After the movie I looked over at her bucket, and what did I see? She had ate a fistful.🤣🤣🤣"
Now that would be funny, but in a very odd way. He sets you up for an obvious joke, then says the complete opposite of what the punchline would be. I might had been rolling on the floor at that point. Only people seeing punchlines coming would have been laughing. That's what may be known as advanced comedy, or to most people as bad jokes. Can you imagine the guffaws from such a joke🤣🤣🤣? Everybody is looking around "Where's the punchline?"😛
I have little to no patience for incompetence. 😁
forget architect - INTJs are just Vulcans. Live long & prosper.
🤣 hell yeah. Live king and prosper, brother
When I was a kid I wished Star Trek were real so Vulcans would kidnap me and bring me back to their planet.
This video is so accurate. I'm an INTJ that loves self-improvement and executing my long term goals to perfection. Social interaction drains me and I find it to be futile but it's a necessary evil in my profession. My ENTP husband tells me that small talks are essential for networking and making human connections. And I do get it, but somehow for me if the relationship is not deep or meaningful it's just not worth the effort. No wonder I have very few friendship and relationships to speak of but I honestly like it that way!
We could probably be friends. 😅
Frequently single? Na na na always single 😂
sequential singlehood (zero-gamy), so to say.
no
"J" does not mean a type is organised, it simply tells which axis is used in dealing with the outside world and decision making: the Judging axis (Thinking or Feeling), or the Perceiving axis (Sensation and iNtuition). For "E" types this will use the first function, in "I" types, this will be the second. INTJs aren't necessarily very clean and organised (though we're usually much more so than INTPs), and may get annoyed at having to make lists. INTJ traits are often mixed up with ISTJs and ENTJs, and our Te is strongly overemphasised.
As an INTJ I couldn't agree more
Nobody talks about being "clean", but INTJ is definitely better organized! Otherwise, how would you close the project and achive goals - and "J" means exactly that (See CG Jung Typology)
Jung didn't use MBTI's four letter system with J and P on the end. We achieve goals through vision and persistence. Between an INTJ and an ISTJ, an ISTJ will be much better organised - as will any type that is high in Si - while an INTJ has Si in the 8th slot, the most unconscious function.
That’s true, my idea of “organized” is not a traditional one. I have an “organized mess” I know where everything is, and why it’s there, 90% of the time I have things put in certain places out of practicality. You see a basket of clean laundry in the entryway and I see my clean work laundry that I cannot forget to take with me so I put it where I sit to put my shoes on each morning and that way I don’t have to carry it across the house either. My work clothes are on my bathroom counter because if I don’t put them there I’m gonna want to stay in bed longer wanting to avoid looking for them
As an INTJ
When I’m doing a competitive project:
I lock myself in my room and work on it for hours planning
When I’m doing something I hate:
I play with my cat to procrastinate as long as possible
How organized am I?
People call me messy but I organize things the way I would understand. For example I hate music notes so I created a new music language to listen to my favorite classical music at school by thinking
I'm an INTJ in a 34 year marriage and am exhausted and miserable from years of constantly compromising logic for feelings to make it last.
Divorce babes, divorce
I am an INTJ male. Found the woman of my dreams in 1980 and we have been successfully married since 1982. Don’t give up, it can be done. She is good at things that I am not good at, I am good at things she isn’t good at. We make a good team and are better together.
I'm an INTJ and I've been married twice for a total of 46 years. It's tough to find someone who can take my weirdness and lack of social skills, but not impossible.
I like how you described exactly how I feel. It's extremely hard for people to understand me and how distant we are in crowded spaces because we want to be liked but it's hard for others to understand what we go through
I'm single because of the negative programming I suffered in my childhood. I'm curious if you could do a study to see if it's common for INTJ's to have had bad experiences in early life. Are there happy INTJ's?
yeah i would consider myself INTJ's, i am very longterm goal oriented, i am not stupid but also not a genius. Maybe thats why i never had problems socializing, thus i had a pretty good childhood. But you can definitely outgrow certain behaviors if you really want to...
@@manuelweichelt528 Yeah, could be. I am a genius and grew up among morons, so I had a lot of problems. That doesn't explain why my parents were such assholes, of course.
@@anonygent i understand i dont know your parents but if they where really intelligent they might just not value emotional support and if they are "stupid" they might see you as an alien...
I did. Bullied, depression, social anxiety and still have emotional barriers.
I'm an intj who went to jail last year and pummeled someone's face in there too.
I love learning new skills so much that I feel a relationship will take me away from that.
Despite the blatant mistyping of people at the beginning of this video, the content that follows is very valuable and accurate
We like to learn, recharge, observe and experience new things.
quintessence
I've tried the waters of the dating world just to know if I'm even able to get into a relationship, and it turns out I can. Even though I'm a 100% introvert. I even had a few people romantically interested in me. And all that is enough for my ego, because I really, truly do not want to ever be in a relationship with anyone. I see all the relationships in my family and friends and I never tell myself: "That's what I want.". My time and other resources are too precious to spend them on anyone else than myself or my close family and friends. Every time someone asks me about my love life, I always respond with: "Why would I intentionally make my life worse?". Does anyone else here have a similar opinion on this?
Find someone who’s similar to you and has the same view in life, it makes things so much easier. I’m an INFP and I’m very picky when it comes to relationship because I strive being single.
This video describes my entire ordeal with dating. The more effort you put into it, the more you fail. I eventually gave up. It is what it is.
I'm a married INTJ, but it did take 13 years to go from dating to marriage, had to absolutely make sure the relationship was not going to fail and that we were both in the right space in our career, finances, etc.
I recently did a personality test and I'm an INTJ-T and the video is an accurate depiction of my personality.
Oh dear god how I hate small talk. It’s agonising.
Relatable
It's the hardest part during social interaction, by far!!
Intj female here. Rational decision-making for the win 👏 rather that than make stupid mistakes.
31 INTJ here been with my wife for 10 years total its been great but she heavily persued me.Its been a challenge to adjust expectations for my wife we cant expect
our spouse to think and feel exactly like us its a struggle and needs patience
It is not that all INTJs necessarily remain single in life.Obviously,some INTJs like to stay single their whole life.However,many INTJs are successfully settled in long-lasting relationships though.
I believe you summed this up perfectly
Settled… but happy?🤔🤷🏻♀️
I like learning about others a lot more than talking about myself. INTJ female
And my friends call me stalker when all I do is keep that information with me and never misuse it .
They don't understand the difference
@@ObsidianSpearhead If they call you a stalker you're doing it wrong :D. No one ever accused me though it's sometimes funny and sometimes kinda sad how I remember everyone and no one remembers me.
@@Epifairos they just tease me , they don't mean it and being an intj I don't feel bad about people not knowing me
I would suggest that not all INTJs write everything in a calendar. I basically just memorize everything and do it. I never forget anything. So it would be a waste of time to write it down. My apartment is a chaos but I know where everything is. So there is no need to organize it. That's effective.
Are you sure you are an INTJ. I cannot handle clutter and chaos. It is not effective or efficient. I have always found engineers with messy desks to be lacking attention to detail and excellence in their work. They say they can find everything too.
Organized chaos
@@sustainablerenewableintegr8311exactly!! Same here
@@run4cmt, that because you need order to find things. I don't need it. It would be a waste of energy to make order. No system is needed when you know where every single component lies.
I'm an INTJ male. I'm in a relationship with an older, INFP female, and we get along famously.
Been with the same girl for almost 18 years now since we were 14.
Thought you said, "we are 14" and was genuinely confused for a moment
Will be married for 29 years this coming January. My husband is an ENTP and I am the INTJ. He knows when to give me space, will have lively debates with me and understands my nuances and I his.
The video seems to be describing young INTJs who haven't done much personal development yet... because many of these issues can be worked on. We INTJs can learn to be more patient, and to accept our partners different ways of thinking (just like they can learn to accept ours!). And we certainly can learn to regard their capacity for working with feelings as a power that is complementary to our own logical-analytical power. (By the way it is pretty darn useful sometimes to have a loved one who is happy to deal with the small talk and messy interpersonal business while we space out to develop our latest theories!)
It’s sad.. I honk because I’m emotionally withdrawn. I lack emotional intelligence. One day I bought a book about “how to become emotionally intelligent “ my teenager found the book I was embarrassed.
Loving someone is an art, skill.
INFJ
I've said it all my life...
"Being in a relationship is on the same level as natural childbirth; I'll NEVER understand either one!!!"
My animals have more sense & respect...🖤
Emotions are not facts, and cannot be used as a decision making tool. This leads to unhappiness, conflicts and wars.
Definitely some truth here
Well. they kind of are. That you feel a certain way is a factual thing most of the time.
Also for 99% of things I agree that they aren't suitable for decision making, but, what about things that aren't rational, like love?
@@ZTRCTGuy yeah, can't imagine how many times I have screwed myself over because my heart pulled a mutiny on my head and I fell in love with someone who was obviously not a good match.
If you dont use any emotions in your decision making you might end up selling your grandmother.
you kind of contradicted yourself there. if you choose something that feels more logical but will make you less happy than no making logical decisions is not connected to happiness.
and if the stats of any intj romance is correct, the majority of intj-like relationships find a good marriage when they either find somebody else like them or find somebody a little similar but eventually stop being intj and slowly change into a different personality as they learn to navigate their marriage.
i wouldnt say INTJ are ALWAYS single... i mean im a INTJ and i have a fiance, weve been together for 7 years. Do we get along? not always. but then again what relationship doesnt have a few flaws?
I tried marriage. Worst ten years of my life.
Thanks for letting us know
As an INTJ, this might explain why I've been single (and okay with it) since 2008.
It's so nice to hear that other people find social situations as vapid and empty; that crowds are only good for getting lost in; and that small talk is anathema.
Because we value peace and quiet, that’s why.
Thanks for explaining about grip stress. That is a perfect explanation of my tendency to blow up occasionally. Thankfully as you mature the explosive reactions become less frequent and less violent.
Oh my god… the movie thing… oops. 🤣 the fact that I solved the game of clue in 2 minutes with my first guess and didn’t fully pay attention to “the glass onion” but was able to explain to my husband the entire plot and who did it in 5 minutes after the movie ended cause he said “I didn’t get it” 🤦🏻♀️ he goes “I just want to watch something without you telling me how it ends after only watching the first 10 minutes”
that’s why I love movies with a lot of unexpected plot twists that keep me engaged but I get sad when they end cause they’re hard to find and I can’t watch it again without knowing the ending already.
Pirates of the Caribbean annoyed the hell out of me because it was so formulaic and predictable. I was saying the lines with the characters about every third line without having seen it before. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, on the other hand, took me completely by surprise.
Yep. I too have been frequently accused of "writing the script" lol
I HATE this ability to see how things will turn out, but as I watch tv shows much more, and very little movies, I'm really keen on seeing tv plots. Nothing could be more irritating, and that's to me. I can manage it much more with movies, where I deliberately try to shut my brain off for entertainment's sake. Hell, when things become predictable, I'm bored enough by that point, in a lot of cases I will absolutely refuse to forecast what will happen next, and instead think what I'm going to do when I get home, almost completely ignoring what is going on in front of me🤣.
But I have a good one for you here. I have the entire X-Files series on blu-ray. You ever want to watch a series that will just about ruin your every forecast, watch that one. Nothing is safe. I go through entire episodes, sort of on edge, constantly wondering what will happen next, and coming up empty handed. Oh, I was making predictions for a while, and gave up, something I consider quite fantastic.
I'll give you a clue how bad it was for me. There was an episode that ended up having a continuing at the end, and I didn't even see that coming, for it looked like it was shutting down the episode, but it wasn't. Once I thought I had that trick down, I had another instance of that, and again I failed to see it coming. Then I REALLY ran into it. I think I saw one that continued, where it was obvious it would, and I was right, so at the end of the continuing I'm content that's the end, but no, believe it or not, they had a trilogy or episodes, all continuing, and I never saw it coming, perhaps primarily because I never saw a trilogy of episodes directly connecting before, but only two parters. Let me tell you, when they're being that unpredictable just on whether the episodes are over or not at times, you know the episode content themselves is totally, directly trying to be unpredictable. I haven't got to the later seasons yet, but I think they're more predictable there.
For crying out loud, they had one episode that started off like the Cops tv show, and I thought there was something wrong with my disc. They had a couple of flashes in the show intro, dumping their usual intro for a Cops one, where I saw Muldar and Scully, so at least it looked like it MIGHT be X-Files, but the whole episode was that way, where it was done exactly like Cops. I just can't believe those guys were so blasted unpredictable. It has to be in my top five of tv shows, just because it's virtually totally unpredictable, at least for the first six seasons. This gives off an air of creepinees throughout the show, because you never know what's coming next, in the immediate, or further down the road. Truly a wild ride AFAIC. It's one of the few tv series too, where I have any feelings whatsoever for the two main characters. Just feel for them - I don't know why. I think all the unpredictableness just leaves me in such unfamiliar territory, it opens me up to see other things than I usually would, and they do strive for some character development.
@@anonygent I got season seven I think it was, of The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriett. I've seen them before, and what I saw I liked, but maybe it was just their newness that got me at the time. That season was all but an absolute disaster by current standards, or any standards. During it, I experienced the Stockholm Syndrome, because everything about it was SOOOO bad, that when I hit a really good episode, I played it like seven times in a row. I thought to myself, why in the world wouldn't they make other episodes like that one? It was sheer genius. But the predictableness?
Let me tell you, I've seen Gilligan's Island over and over, and other such shows, and despite us thinking that would have me seeing the jokes coming, which doubtlessly does happen some, I cannot predict jokes on that show, anywhere close to my first, and last viewing of Ozzie season seven. That's how bad the predictableness was. For example, on Ozzie, I knew the whole joke in advance, not just the punchline, it was that bad. Very old jokes. For example, if Ricky lost his mind, you could count on TWO, not one, not three, but two mind losing jokes later, and you always knew precisely when they were coming too, almost as if the screen lit up and said "Here comes the losing his mind joke" To make it worse, while canned laughter can be annoying, I grew up with it, so it's not so bad with me, but this show was the worst, because it seemed to have this prerequisite, that if nobody said anything funny for twenty seconds, the canned audience had to laugh. I'm dead serious. Naturally, with such an outlook, they had LOTS of times where their laughter wasn't even for jokes. The only thing that made this a "little" bit forgivable, was that Ozzie was such a loser, that he could do virtually anything and make a fool out of himself.
You think all this is bad? You haven't heard anything yet. The show starts off with a commercial, which can go some 2.5 minutes, then there's the theme. Understand, this is a maybe 26 minute episode threshold. In top of that, a great many episodes was plugging for one of their kids singing, and this often meant TWO songs not just one (and I can't stand singing out of place like that). This means you lost maybe 2.5 minutes at the commercial, then another five minutes on the singing, for a grand total of like 19 minutes of show. This wasn't entirely bad, since I could skip over the singing and commercial, and the show was mostly terrible, so it being so ridiculously usefully short, was a blessing. I recall before the Stockholm episode happened, I kept hoping my dvds would catch on fire or something, so I wouldn't have to watch that slop.😆
@@charles2241 I don't know why you would subject yourself to that torture. 😬 I saw one episode, complete with old commercials, on a low powered TV station, and said, "Never again." I get that it was early TV and they didn't really know what they were doing yet, but it's like they weren't even trying.
problem solver yes but feelings solver.. no.
i mess so many things up.
We are romantically doomed.
You came here for answers.
Here ya go
I'm a 25 year old INTJ, never been in a relationship cuz I just can't seem to imagine being in a relationship. I think they will find me boring (which I am, kind of) and leave me eventually. Also I have a lot of pet peeves when it comes to relationships.
And I was thinking, I'm just ugly. 🤷♂
There is a lot of ugly ppl out there and they seem to have partners💁🏻♀️
@@casstay4499 And there are a lot of quite fine looking that do not.
@@Cofeeman911 agree with that!
I am INTJ, so much so that the analyst said she hadn't seen anything like it - and I have been married over 40 years! No other friends, however, so you guys are partly right...
INTJ's are not always single. But it is harder to find someone who can deal with you. You need someone who is very tolerant, and can understand your desire to be somewhat independent with mindset being so different from everyone else.
It would be a lot easier to be in a relationship as an INTJ if so many other people didn't "CHOOSE" to be incompetent, unrealistic, and delusional... while also being devoid of accountability, responsibility, and discipline. I could go on, but I have found that many others with this personality type (INTJ) have dealt with similar situations involving people who choose to be their own downfall in life despite our effort in trying to help problem-solve their issues.
Too many people would rather trust in their own delusions and unreasonable ideas than listen to sound advice.
Can't really help anyone who doesn't want to help themselves. And thus, the single life it is. lol
Calous? And what about all these histrionic characters producing drama all the time? The should pull themselves together or go see a shrink.
Maybe I'm an extreme case, but in my 37 years I never even had a relationship. I just don't know how to meet or connect to people. The few friends I have left I see maybe 4-5 times in a year. We have a great time but that's it. I want to have connections, but it seems like I'm a ghost for society.
i am a self-destructive, volatile wreck and it sucks.
You can change and get better. It may seem difficult at times but you can fix the things you dont like and you can become your best self
@@mindscopechannel Thank you.
🤪💯
Omg, so very true... And this applies not only to romantic relationships. My daughter kind of hates me bec of my intj personality. I tried explaining that I sometimes don't have feelings or emotions or I block them off. I feel bad for her but I dunno wat to do. I think she's a feeling person and I think I am toxic to her 🥴
Well this makes a lot of sense. I have had many long term relationships but none have ever worked out.
Well, that's why I prefer machines. Way better partners for life.
I'm INTJ and single because I can't stand the idiocy of partners.
The examples of INTJs in the beginning are all married aren't they?
I can definitely express my needs... but no-one gaf...
I just did my mbti test today and found out I'm an INTJ. Now I know why it's so hard for me to find love.
Yep, I am blunt and straightforward with my points, and there is a logical reason for that. Our touchy-feely society likes everything coated in sugar to the extent that the point gets lost under all the distracting honey drizzle. I guess it helps them feel better about whatever is being said, all the way to the point where they completely miss the message, or the impact is lost. Take away all the excess sweetener, and they have no choice but to see the message clearly for what it is (which is an improvement when you are used to being misunderstood to begin with). I don't aim to be rude, I just tell it as it is. If they have a problem with reality, that's on them.
I think your last two sentences revealed what is really going on here. Consider what you said about touchy-feely, then turn it around on yourself. Their message is getting lost on that drizzle you say, but since you are on an extreme here, the obvious is that you message is getting lost in the attitude. See, they don't see what you say, because they detect hostility easily, which is exactly what you have. You see lack of logic easily, so you don't see what they say. It's all very simple. What was that the Bible said that:
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a ringing gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have absolute faith so as to move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.…
I think the touchy-feelies are looking for love as the first thing, so they don't see that out of you, so they turn away. Just a guess.
@@charles2241 yeah good points, it's about having compassion and patience for those who don't see life the same way as you do. There's definitely more to life than logic and efficiency
Can relate.
i am going through a divorce and my partner is an INTJ and most, if not all, of these points hit the nail on the head.
I know two INTJs. Both women, both married. One of them to me.
The problem I have is that my being critical is part of me being radically honest with those close to me. I have learned to tone it down and smooth out how I put things, but people do a lot of dumb things constantly. I also try to explain that I’m not attacking them or have any malicious intent and to take what I say strait, but most people can’t handle criticism and take things very personally. I probably have too thick skin as I love when people give me criticism, because I weigh it to determine its level of validity and learn from it. (Not all criticism is accurate, some people are just mean).
Empathy is also very hard for me. I understand very well how others are feeling, but it does not make me feel that way most the time. Example: my best friend gets fired from a lame job. I can try to soothe him, but honest to god, I don’t care and I just hope he finds a new better job soon and I’ll try to be extra nice to him while he’s down.
When I have problems, I deeply consider their causes and possible solutions. DO feel, but I THINK about what and why I’m feeling what I’m feeling. Idk what to say when others are feeling something I’m not, but I can give you a thousand possible solutions or things that might help improve the situation.
Oh...dear. I have been a serial monogamist. Nothing lasts. Several partners have mentioned that their friends and loved ones refer to me as a "snob" or "arrogant". I am actually open minded...just shy and logical. In the last 10 years I have done better at masking/acting more like an extrovert. That seems to make things easier for all.
Absolutely agree. Thanks for the video.
At age 61, only now do I understand the importance of small talk. I’m getting better at it now, but I am now at my age having an even harder time dealing with family get togethers
Found my INFJ out of nowhere, we are finding it troubling and assuring at the same time that both of us are speedrunning through our relationship vs or previous exes (3 months in).. i hope we can keep it together although not gonna lie, the sex is absolutely sensual and crazy.. i literally have to use my brain to keep myself in tune with her feelings and base logic towards her feelings to better understand her. She brings me to my feeling side and i take her towards her thinking side... we compliment so much and we started as best friends although she wanted to confess first by letting me see where it was going. It feels like such a mature relationship..
Today I even had a nightmare that I was misunderstood by a group of people, and they started judging me and lecturing me publicly, raving about their moral superiority... Then I couldn't sleep anymore. Life sucks for INTJs, even if we are good at everything... Unfortunately, if we can't express ourselves and be accepted, everything ends up in the toilet.
Since every time I restarted my life and social circle from zero, love is always the most difficult thing because I can't control the others feelings
I have been married to an ISTP for 14 years. Not always easy but at least he is a rational being, 97% of the time.
I think those types are pretty compatible
I can relate to this. Been on a few dates with another INTJ whom I actually like, but I just don't have it in me to go through with it at the moment. I don't want to have to rely on anyone or have anyone rely on me. I just want to work and then go home alone, thinking about what I did. That's all I'm committed to for now.
As a more mature and experienced INTJ, (many LTRs and STRs, married and divorced), my current logical conclusion is that being in a relationship is simply not worth the effort...highly inefficient use of my time and resources for very little reward.
As the saying goes, the juice is simply not worth the squeeze.
In general, this concept also applies to the concept of having 'friends'.
I'm an INTJ and my husband is ENTJ. We are menaces who plan together and get stuff done. We schedule intimacy because if we didn't, we wouldn't.
My last potential relationship was with an emotionally needy codependent person. It lasted two weeks. That was my longest two weeks in a while. I kept telling her that I need a few days before to be alone and that I hate surprises. But the next day, she'd surprise me at my morning coffee.
I have only one relationship during my first year in HS more because I was curious how was it feels like to have a boyfriend and broke up after about 2 weeks because my curiosity been satisfied. And never in seroius relationship with anyone whole of my life 😅 There's always a reason or two to not jump into one. Especially because I always put myself first when I am still very much in cold headed conditions and refused to compromise with my basic boundary.
I don't want to change for anyone but myself or children around me (necessarily) and I dont want any man change for me or for the sake of our relationship.
I wish we both match and accepted whatever each other version. Therefore, it's important to truly find the one or better not at all 😂
I am an INTJ and have been married to an ISTJ for 40 years. He is the list maker, neater, and more organized
INTJ have a patience duality.
Small trivial stuff that should not be troublesome frustrates the tar out of me when it doesn't go right.
However if I'm solving a problem, especially a tough problem, I have more patience than Job.
Every time I hear INTJ stereotypes I find myself in them, except one: for the love of all that is holy I cant keep up with the planner thing. I have my process through the day as I planned it in my head, I have no time, energy nor thinking space for useless writing all of that down. I am always tempted to buy those planners because I like the idea, so I have couple, each one completely empty to this day😂
Not that I need to say it, but this is absolutely me, EXCEPT being destructive- this is NOT me at all. Thank you for this video.