this kind of stand up is so difficult to succeed with - to be that prolific in writing brilliant, original one liners and use wordplay so ingeniously - just fantastic!
Agree w last comment so much. Instead of scraping the barrel with four-letter words and pathetic profanity Milton is non-stop witty and hilarious. He gets huge laughs from huge audiences, giving sheer delight to all rather than making us wince. That is true comedy. Good on you, Milton. X
Yes, great ones don't need to go there. - Johnny Carson: I went to a riot, and a hockey game broke out. - Emo Phillips: I was pushing a baby through Central Park and it kept crying and crying so I finally had to go back and get the carriage. - Jerry Seinfeld: Laundry is party time for your clothes, they're all in the washing machine dancing together.
@@deanmoore4337 You mean he didn't just walk onto a stage and come up with these jokes on the spot, but instead meticulously crafted them in advance over a period of months if not years? Balderdash!
I love that, like Tom Vine and Frank Skinner, he is a devout Christian. That takes guts in today's "culture" when you have the likes of Ricky Gervais smirking at you in contempt. Good on ya, Milton; and you're bloody funny too❤
I actually did that when i was arrested for shoplifting...they said anything you say will be taken down in evidence...Do you have anything to say? I said, Stop hitting me, please OWWWW, why are you hitting me. They let me go with warning!
When I was younger I remember seeing tents in a graveyard and thinking there must be some merit badge for sleeping in a graveyard, I was reassured to find they just didn't wand all the dirt to get washed back into the hole.
When he mentions recording the interview he's talking about audio recording (not video), so on the recording clapping your hands and saying ouch will sound like you're being hit by the police
Milton the genius comedian ! Like a good wine he just gets better and better ! Wonderfully incisive but never offensive . He never disappoints .
Typical ex British teacher scrapping the bottom of the barrel of comedy 😮 as funny as a stage four cancer diagnosis
Love Milton Jones, good old fashioned humour, not watched him for years, this cheered me up.
this kind of stand up is so difficult to succeed with - to be that prolific in writing brilliant, original one liners and use wordplay so ingeniously - just fantastic!
Had the pleasure of meeting this man a few years ago in Dublin. He’s very quiet would you believe
Lots of comedians are - lots of people use humour as a defence mechanism ❤
I saw him here in London once. He was wearing a smart grey suit.he looked normal.
That. Opening.
This man finished the comedic quest for the greatest opening of all time.
wrong.... see - George Carlin 'Modern Man'. Without doubt the best start to a stand-up routine, of all time.
Craig Dow Indeed. Carlin is an absolute god. Jerry Seinfeld amongst others owes his career to the man. 'More shit from the bogus captain...' !
NURSE !!!! HE'S ESCAPED AGAIN !!
I saw Lee Evans do this exact thing a few years ago.
th-cam.com/video/-ZYCAlZD9cU/w-d-xo.html
Have seen Milton 3 times brilliant, about time he released a new DVD
What is a DVD :-)
@@albertusmagnus5829 A DVD is a silver round disc which contains a video
@@whufciironworkes COYI!
he is truly amazing, he speaks alot less than most comedians, but keeps the audience with him the whole way through
The very best British comedian.
That beginning sums up Milton perfectly.
Random, yet hilarious.
That was the opposite of random.
Like music, the interesting bit is always in the space between the notes. Very clever guy!
Agree w last comment so much. Instead of scraping the barrel with four-letter words and pathetic profanity Milton is non-stop witty and hilarious. He gets huge laughs from huge audiences, giving sheer delight to all rather than making us wince. That is true comedy. Good on you, Milton. X
He’s great but profanity can be funny and appropriate in the right context
@thegraciefighter102 Is the wrong answer.
11¹qqqqqqqqqq
Yes, great ones don't need to go there.
- Johnny Carson: I went to a riot, and a hockey game broke out.
- Emo Phillips: I was pushing a baby through Central Park and it kept crying and crying so I finally had to go back and get the carriage.
- Jerry Seinfeld: Laundry is party time for your clothes, they're all in the washing machine dancing together.
.......
It's nice to have alternative comedy, we all have our favourites, difficult to make people laugh
I just adore him. His deranged take on the English language has me in paroxyms.
Saw him live he was brilliant.
Great audicence. Made him very welcome
One of the best all round comedians I've heard.
He is more oblong than round. Very edgy.
@@bartonseagrave9605 clever, very clever - and accurate to
Fantastic comedian, good old fashioned comedy, love it ,
I would describe this as God level Dad jokes.
Thanks for the laughs here in the Philippines.
Are you in the Philippines? Wow that’s amazing!
So so funny. He makes me laugh every time ♥️
Funny.... thanks for sharing!!
National treasure.
"..My other grandfather"
Had them crying
To some he is an acquired taste, to others he can be annoying. To me he is just the best.
He's a very cleaver man ,and a very funny man too ,I just love the one liners
yes he's hilarious but be careful of his cleaver
He cuts me up.
The deadpan look is funny as fook too. That’s a very confused looking man. Good God he’s good.
Fantastic 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
That "massive head injuries" bit had me rolling.
il never get over how much of a genius milton is lol
The man is a genius. So quick witted
Quick ????
@@deanmoore4337 You mean he didn't just walk onto a stage and come up with these jokes on the spot, but instead meticulously crafted them in advance over a period of months if not years? Balderdash!
Love Milton!❤
i think he's great
no profanity, no filth, no controversy....just good old fashioned humour
You nailed it !!
***** he is a christian
arrgh garry I think thats why i like him so much!!
+fruitcake4t sum up: boring!
spot on fruitcake
Brilliant, as always
You are more likely to be injured if you've got a massive head. Spoken like a true comedian - who works with Dara O'Briain
This is amazing.
*_Dave's One Night Stand_* (S2, Ep4; May 5, 2011)
Olympic Theater Dublin
Pt.3: Milton Jones
Here's a picture of me with REM. That's me in the corner.
How did you manage to take photos of yourself while you were dreaming?
I love that, like Tom Vine and Frank Skinner, he is a devout Christian. That takes guts in today's "culture" when you have the likes of Ricky Gervais smirking at you in contempt. Good on ya, Milton; and you're bloody funny too❤
That entry.
Lionel Richie: “I sometimes see your pants outside my door”. 🧐
BRILLIANT!
I actually did that when i was arrested for shoplifting...they said anything you say will be taken down in evidence...Do you have anything to say?
I said, Stop hitting me, please OWWWW, why are you hitting me.
They let me go with warning!
Amazing funny Man
Pure genius 👍
I almost died of an overdose of puns!
This guy is hilarious!!!
Didn't expect to see you here. Rock on 🤘🤘
When I was younger I remember seeing tents in a graveyard and thinking there must be some merit badge for sleeping in a graveyard, I was reassured to find they just didn't wand all the dirt to get washed back into the hole.
Just discovered this guy he's brilliant should be filling out arenas like Gervais Carr and may 😅
May?
Living proof that you don't have to use profanity to be funny.
Fuck no fuck ya dont fuck no das ray das fuckin rait oh fuck
It helps though!
You have to be good not to use profanity! And he's good.
No it f*king isnt
"My other grandfather was a genetic engineer who specialized in cloning. How else do you think I'd have so many grandfathers?"
Super super super excellent ! Gréât humour !!!!!!
I nearly died at the hepatitis lines!
You liked the lines about hepatitis, eh?
Red
You should have got vaccinated, then.
Never thought I'd hear Milton Jones tell a 30 year old Bernard Manning gag!
Class!!
No. It is "Danny Bhoy Funny Opening" on youtube :)
Milton never fails to make me laugh!
Hello *crowd laughs* that's when you know this guy is good
Not necessarily good. 'Hello' is the next word in the song that was played. That was the joke, not him just randomly saying 'hello'.
I once saw a T-shirt with a Where's Wally picture on the front but Wally's face was Lionel Ritchie
great comedian :) loved it
But what about his other grandfather?
Or the other?
Ayy!
@MichaelKingsfordGray deep
Reminds me of Stephen Ireland who has lots of grand mothers!
so good no swearing just wit.
Milton Jones in Dublin Over With Laughter.
Brilliant!
I love this guy.
The daughter joke is so funny 😂
This guy....should write the penguin jokes.
True
Love how he breaks character at around 4:50
Genius advice that last one haha.
gorgeous
loooool at the Melony joke xD
Most of those grandfathers died if you pay attention so CONTINUITY!!
funny funny funny man
ive heard half of his jokes on mock the week
+michael jagger ...and they are still funny!
so good as somebody said no swearing just funny.
Jeez that takes balls to stand up in front of all those people and make them laugh.
Donald Trump does that all the time.
Cheerios joke is superb
At 5:38 the lady with red long curly hair is SO beautiful!!!
Who would go to the trouble of writing this....weird.
he should have done his "English theme pub" joke there
My surname is Jones I wonder if we are related? And my favourite cheese is Stilton which rhymes with Milton... Yeah I reckon I must be related
so is every recording
Proof that you can be funny without swearing.
You can be funny in any away if you are funny....
Have you seen Danny Bhoy open a show with "bagpipes"?
My other grandfather...
He's like a deadpan Tim Vine.
Except when he's not, obviously.
Douche Bag hi douche bag
robert shelton Hello
@@hazahaxa Can't believe he didn't come back with, "is it me you're looking for?"
Genius!
King of the one liners .. but this was 12 years ago .. i've seen him twice in recent years and he's still using the same material now! C'mon Milton! 🙄
He included a disparaging "joke" about underprivileged people once, and his biases shone through. Never saw him in the same light after that
If it ain't broke...
If the audience love it, why not! Ultimately they decide.
Brilliant.
can someone explain the last joke about the police interrogation? thank you!
When he mentions recording the interview he's talking about audio recording (not video), so on the recording clapping your hands and saying ouch will sound like you're being hit by the police
thanks! got it now
Very funny guy.
Michael Douglas' long lost brother lol.
Its called material, every comedian dose it,,
A genius
Was that chris slade from ac/dc in the audience
Anybody know if milton jones is married, because if he is single then I am going to marry him myself, if I can stop laughing long enough, xxxx
Married with three children. I'm telling you now before Wikipedia disappoints you.
You must be joking!
its a part of his act
What is?
@@davidcopson5800
The middle bit.
One of the best all round comedians I've heard.
Ahahah I love him
Finally. A comedian who actually tells jokes and not stupid anecdotes.
5:38 Is that Derek Muller?