Max Payne - Caravan Of Garbage
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 ต.ค. 2024
- We're kicking off a brand new series with a look at four terrible video game movies that are bad and did badly. Starting with 2008's Max Payne starring Mark Wahlberg. Aiming to capture the tragedy, action and frenetic energy of the original two games it absolutely does not. But at the same time as discussed it certainly takes the franchise to a new level. In a way. Thanks for watching our Caravan Of Garbage review
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#MadMax
If Max Payne was ten minutes earlier he could have stopped those terrorists
Would’ve been a lotta blood in that cockpit
Too bad he lost track of time brewing a single pot of coffee for four hours.
Wouldn't have gone down the way it did, I tell ya
A friend in high school left this movie at my house and when I asked him if he wanted it back he said No, I'm good.
I’m not sure he’s your friend…
Did he ask you to say hello to your mother for him?
The games were sick though. But yeah, movie was a bit of a dumpster fire. You don’t need to stare at a dumpster fire, and wonder if said dumpster is on fire. 😂😅👍
Sounds like a jerk
@@tomtripp5417 not after that burden 🤣
Mark Walberg has never done a sequel before.....until Daddy's home 2 that script must have really moved him.😂
And Transformers The Last Knight.
He also did Ted 2 before daddys home 2.
Whaa? You're saying he's some kind of daddy being home??? Again?? Whadda heck is goin on????
@@bigkmoviesandgames Wha? He was in a movie about a talking bear and then did it again???? But he don't even like family guy?? This is crazy!!
What no.
I’m here in fits of laughter because I’ve never heard Mason swear before… but the passion with which he very kindly informs us he hates Mark Wahlberg is iconic.
"It makes you feel invincible, but you're not" That's alcohol.
Lol yeah, it's just a shot of tequila
@@adamjagg If you feel invincible after one shot of tequila, you really need to step up your alcoholism.
@@floijd maybe don't take everything so seriously 🙃
@@adamjagg Loosen up! Take another tequila shot.
't was just a joke, of course.
"Hold my beer"
It's weird how Dredd is a better Max Payne adaptation than Max Payne is.
It did the drug effects great and actually made it part of the story!
A way better movie.
I thought the same thing for Sin City..mostly because of the narrating..that movie is so good
@@pkvanderzee6226 I would also add that the movie Payback is a better Max Payne than the movie as well.
@@schtive81 Payback was in the days the first movie wich I also thouht of when Max Payne 1 came out..that movie is amazing
Probably one of my favorite CoG moments where Mason calls Mark Wahlberg “a loathsome asshole”. That bit had me dying from laughter.
Truly a man of the people. Mason that this, not Wahlberg, he's a loathsome asshole
Can we get Maso saying he hates Mark over the Kendrick euphoria track
Drake has entered the chat, and he is not happy eh
I HATE THE WAY THAT YOU TALK THE WAY THAT YOU WALK I HATE THE WAY THE YOU DRESS🗣️‼️
I made it with the Not Like Us beat. (I posted it on r/weeklyplanetpodcast)
@@ayrtonsilva316 thanks I'll have a look
What I really want, is for James and Mason to break down every line in Not Like Us, analyze them completely wrong, and tie every line back to Blue Harvest.
RIP James McCaffrey, talk about becoming a legend with one role. tremendous talent
Unfortunate that there won’t be any more Alex Casey scenes without James
thank you, james :)
@@engbang3517 There's a DLC for Alan Wake 2 on the way that's all but confirmed to have Alex Casey as a playable character for a segment. Assuming development on this started before the game's launch (which is pretty common practice in game development for DLC) it's likely he already recorded lines for it.
@@icantthinkofagoodusername4464 It got cut. The only thing they got recorded is the monolouge at the end of episode 3.
@@avocadothecat I noticed when I played it.
The 'it takes it another level' 'a level below?' had me crying xD
Max Payne 100% feels like a movie that was something else but got shoehorned into an adaptation. Everything about it is generic except for a few isolated moments. The Valkyries were pretty cool though
They wanted it to be a movie like Dredd, I think. Dredd wasn't made yet, but I wouldn't be surprised to learn that some of the crew who worked on Max Payne were also involved in Dredd. Not a terrific adaptation, but Karl Urban did his best and it made a few waves with fans and non-fans of Judge Dredd
Mark Wahlberg definitely brings the energy of someone who committed several violent hate crimes in their teens and got away with it but says he feels really bad about it.
We should be thankful no Vietnamese store owners were featured in the movie
Whalberg "Whaaaatnooooo"
Actually mate, he doesn't even claim to feel bad about it (currently. Presumably he did at one point, even if he was only regretting it for the damage it does it his image.) Full quote: "I did a lot of things that I regretted and I certainly paid for my mistakes. You have to go and ask for forgiveness and it wasn't until I really started doing good and doing right, by other people as well as myself, that I really started to feel that guilt go away. So I don't have a problem going to sleep at night." Btw, who did he ask forgiveness from? The families he harmed? Nope. God. Y'know, a famously personal thing.
Absolutely vile human being. Another quote about this is "I've apologised many times...the first time was in that courtroom when I was being led away in handcuffs to serve my time" (somewhat paraphrased, I didn't want to read it again.) Except... he's never apologised publicly, and his only apology other than that that he's ever spoken about was *after* he had asked for a pardon and that the good that came from it was that he could apologise in person. We don't really know if he did, though.
I don't know why this turned into such a long rant. I absolutely hate this guy and the false piety he has. "stay prayed up" aite bro. Thanks for reading.
Lmao I never once heard about this. That's amazing to me 😆 Staff Sgt Dignam in The Departed is just mask off Marky Mark. "SOME GUYS just wanna smash a nibba's head through a plate glass window."
Why do I get notifications after YT shadowbans every comment of mine? I can't say Marky Mark is hilarious as a racist? Holy shit, how does YT even exist with only like 350 words from the English language allowed?
You should have titled this "Mad Max Payne". You've abstained for red circles for so long, you lads have earned some SEO 😌
The bit about knowing this is PG-13 because the drugs arent injected or snorted, but drank, made me realize the genius stroke of making the key drugs EYEDROPS in the 2022 Batman film. Edgy but not "rated R" edgy. Clever clever.
Or how Dark Knight is only barely PG-13 because there aren’t any drugs at all and nobody ever swears
As someone that suffers from hallucinations in my daily life and a lot of that can be broken down to "shadows" that move like creatures, I can say that the fear response associated with it is involuntary. I know better but it still triggers a fight or flight response, recoil, and heart palpitations.
that makes perfect sense. ive no diagnosis for a schizoaffective disorder etc, but have been on my fair share of days-long IV meth binges - can definitely relate to *some* of what you experience. the rational part of your brain reminds you that you're being a bit silly, but you have to triple check that those voices weren't real/that figure isn't a human
He didn't say he could stop 9/11. He said "Nine a level" and then blinded a Vietnamese man.
Perhaps it's splitting hairs, but Johnny Trinh was already partially blinded during the war in Vietnam and has forgiven Wahlberg.
@@storiesfromtheabyss9808 sure. But it's the most impressive of his hate-crimes, on paper.
Slurs and throwing rocks at black kids just doesn't have the same ring to it.
Also, if I remember, there was a really suspicious connection between the public forgiveness, and a liquor licence he was applying for.
@@myautobiographyafanfic1413 Maybe I dunno or care enough about the guy to go over my head defending him, but I just feel as one fellow white trash youth who did a lot of terrible (granted not as terrible as his actions) things, I'd like to be naively optimistic that people can indeed change and become better.
@@storiesfromtheabyss9808 My requirements for supporting an actor: 1) be cool, 2) be funny 3) if they commit a hate crime, at least get forgiveness for it.
2:34 A few days ago I bruised a few of my ribs. James describing how it felt to watch this movie made me burst out laughing, putting me in agonizing pain. Dear Mr. Sunday movies: please stop being so God damn funny! XD
Or at least put a warning label on the videos!
I was waiting for the 9/11 joke, but I wasn't prepared for it. God damn, guys.
After seeing Olga Kurylenko get turned down by Max Payne, Agent 47 and James Bond...i was like wtf is wrong with poor Olga?!
The boardroom shootout in The Other Guys shows that a Mark Wahlberg Max Payne movie could have worked.
Terrible video game movies? This series will still be running in 2026
I'm reminded of 'The Spirit' that came out the same year, another "let's try to do sin city but let the studio executives make all of the creative decisions"
oh god "The Spirit" was atrocious, what an utter failure
Max Payne, Burton's Apes, the last two Bayformers, Uncharted
Has Marky Mark ever lead a good blockbuster?
Lots of Ms. Kurylenko in the video, but they never mention her, and I appreciate the editor. Thank you.
The subway is station in “lower bay station” in Toronto. A real working subway turned permanent film set.
Fun fact: I went to a club once where the bathroom attendant gave me this weird little candy with a name I wasn't familiar with, and I thought was just wanting a tip. Turns out, there was no bathroom attendant, and I'd accidentally bought some drug I'd never heard of. Then I got real paranoid. So I told my friend I was drugged with something Blue, and was afraid they were going to Harvest my organs, which is kinda the original name for Star Wars.
The attendant's name? Juan. But it would have been weird if he was named Rodney...
Nice
Oh no it's evolving
Okay that was good.
The Max Payne PS2 manual bragged about how a movie was in the works and to look out for so much more max Payne to come any day now. I was very excited. Cut to 7 years later and we get......
I liked it
I played the first two Max Payne games for the first time in like 2015 and i was blown away by them. The second one especially. Just incredible games.
Yeah the 2nd one is my personal favorite. They're just awesome.
Fall of Max Payne was in improvement on every level, what an incredible videogame
My one and only memory of this movie is that back flip slow motion shotgun scene, because the slow motion seemed obnoxiously slow. Slowest slow motion I've ever seen. I remember him firing a shot, and then glacially pumping the shotgun over the course of about 30 seconds.
That "Revolver Shotgun" is called The Judge and it was originally only made by Taurus Firearms. It is a 5 shot revolver and can fire 410 bore shotgun shells usually containing bird shot which is currently the smallest size shot for shotgun shells, and can also fire standard .45 calibur pistol rounds.
Was baller to use that in Battlefield Hardline
The Judge, while a cool concept, is actually a pretty shit gun. Horribly inaccurate as a 45 caliber revolver, horribly underpowered as a shotgun. But it seems like a cool gimmick so put it in a movie and make it seem like a hand cannon.
YEEEAAAAHHHH GUNS!!!!
It actually shoots .45 Colt, not .45 ACP (which is what most people think when you mention .45 and is far more common now). They are very different rounds and are in no way interchangeable.
When you guys told the 9/11 joke, it was 9:11am on my watch. Perfect timing.
Okay, that settles it: James and Maso MUST be the chosen ones, right?
this might be one of the funniest CoG. I almost died from laughing multiple times. Or maybe I'm on Valkyrie and I'm bad at time management
I played max payne recently, and that game is almost a parody of the genre, it's openly and gleefully ridiculous, which this film could never be.
I remember my friends and i went to go see john wick 2 in theaters and one of my friends was like if you thought that was good you should see max payne so we all went to his place afterwards to see it and we laughed so hard at how bad it was, our friend destroyed the disk with a hammer afterwards
Well since Ted has mark whalburg and Mila Kunis in it I just thought that was the max Payne sequel
It genuinely baffles me how they messed this up. The game is so easily transferable to the big screen - just make an engaging crime flick like your John woo stuff - why are there supernatural angels in it?!
I remember watching it as a child and thinking "I don't think I really liked that" 😂😂
A CGP Grey cameo was not what I was expecting in a Max Payne video, but I ain’t mad about it.
Maxwell Payne,
Some get high and others stand in rain,
Maxwell Payne,
This is bad and nothing like the game
Like I told you, we're all just NPCs in James' LSD-fueled hallucination. Also, in the Mark Wahlberg Hierarchy, this is just below the Truth about Charlie, but just above The Happening... And there is nothing below the Happening, in any hierarchy.
Whaaaat? Noooooo
That montage of wallburgers was like that homelander scene in the boys s3
One of my favourite clips the channel uses
I enjoyed Mason calling Wahlberg a loathesome arsehole. It’s so rare to hear him swear it’s always a treat when he does 😂
Everyone knows that the REAL Max Payne adaptation is Man on Fire
to me max payne 3 looks inspired by man on fire so we also have that
I feel like I’m experiencing Max Pain whenever I’m watching Mark Walhberg
I want a Punisher Max Payne game. Max Payne is two strokes away from being the Punisher basically. Somebody make that.
They already made that
They already did back in the PS2-era
@BigBoy-ok3eg 3 times actually. And the punisher made a max Payne rip off which was quite good during the ps2 era
@@raphaelturtle4146 yeah but...I want Remedy to do it now lol...
@@MinorityGamerReport1 Nah I know that one was solid, but I need Remedy to make it now lol.
My favourite thing about this film is that interview Sam Lake did with Eurogamer admitting he could've better.
Maso's hatred of Mark Wahlberg makes me yell stay prayed up!
oh man -- i am the guy. The guy who liked the World of Warcraft movie. I only saw it once, back when it came out like 8 years ago. I wonder if it holds up, or if literally everyone else on Earth was right and it's actually crap. Wait it only came out 8 years ago? It seems like 20.
I saw it too, and it was fine! Not incredibly memorable, but not atrocious!
How they missed Payne-full Trivia! , we'll never know.
The "you're on acid right now" edit is so funny. Thanks, Ben and Lawrence
Absolutely amazing they got through this entire video without doing their Marky Mark impersonations....
Maso calling Marky Mark a "loathsome arsehole" has gotta be one of the highlights of the pod for this year.
What I find most baffling about the 14:08 scene is that he takes a "shoot first and ask questions later" approach to entering his baby's room. Clearly this cop is on a different level.
That just sounds like regular cop level to me.
I'm Irish, I was raised Catholic here in dublin. But Mark Whalberg genuinely makes me genuinely uneasy...
Donnie is the best though!
I'm not trying to point fingers at anyone (I'm Polish and trust me I have seen Things as well) but he sounds like some of these north american protestants and they're on... a different level
He’s got a northern Irish free Presbyterian energy about him lol
Wahlberg moves with a rabbi so don't worry. he's a fake Catholic.
True nothing against relegion
But modern days it's used as a veil for the wicked
I'm Christian by the way and I've changed churches 3 times it's just filled with hypocrites and genuinely cruel ppl @@krystina662
Huge Max Payne fan I remember seeing this in the theater when it came out and I knew it was going to be a huge departure from the games But I was so excited when he pulled out the Taurus Judge and started shooting those bathroom stalls LOL
1.) Olga's character had one of my all time favorite put downs: "O.K., let's hear the boring story about your dead wife." (Stopped watching after she died, spared me most of the movie !) 2.) Another Level. 3.) Agree with Mason about Marky Mark. 4.) #BMMTDBATBO
an indelible memory of this movie exists within me- when i was but a wee child in the philippines, my father took us to a nice steakhouse that had just recently opened. the tv that was there was on the local film channel, and the movie that was playing at the time was none other than mark wahlberg's max payne (2008). at the age i was, watching it was a very morbid experience. coupled with the fact that the steak was not very good, i did not have the best time.
that steakhouse has been long closed now, but every time we pass by the building it used to be in, my brothers and i look to each other, and say "haha. the max payne place, remember?". it's a reminder that though material things are fleeting, the memories we make with those around us will last forever. thank you mark "if i was on that plane" wahlberg
I've had an absolute stinker if a weekend you guys are bringing light back to my blue harvest which was actually the working title
Am I correct in observing that marky walburgers broke his no sequels rule for Transformers?
A sequel of other folks work, followed by a sequel of his sequel of other folks work!
RIP James McCaffrey.
Loved his performance in Control.
I always thought that Michael Shannon would have played a great Max Payne. He has the same look and demeanor and is a good gritty actor. That wouldn’t have made the movie any better but if the movie was actually done properly I think Shannon could’ve killed it in that role.
I had to pause on Mason's tweet. Holy shit!! I've read it aloud 3 times now and I am laughing so hard I cried. "...I hat his stupid schedule that cannot possibly be real."
You must do chronicles of Reddick. Actually pretty fun sci-fi movies with some great visuals
RIP James McCaffrey
The best Max Payne movie is the live action segments with Sam Lake in Alan Wake II
Its not a departure from the games , its a departure from the john woo films in general ..
The film " The Big Hit" had more action and gunplay in it , And Mark starred in that as well..
The fact that Remedy and Rockstar didn't want anything to do with the production, says alot. m
I remember modding Max Payne 1 with a Matrix mod that added the Neo skin, the music and let you do proper bullet time bending backwards. As a teen being 100% invested in the Matrix that was about as cool things could get! Believe there was also a Blade mod that was just as crazy. These were the glory days!
there's a scene in there that has James McCaffrey (the original Max) as some random detective named Jack Taliente saying a line or two, but somehow it just makes this all so much worse
Maximilian Payne is my favorite Mark Wahlberg character that wears a turtleneck.
Maximus Paynus
Production: We only have one phone so don't throw it too hard; we don't want it to break.
[Sort of throws phone]
Production: Yeah... I guess that's alright.
This movie should have been like John Woo’s “Hard Boiled” where it’s a reckless cop running through hallways gunning down bad guys which is exactly what the games are. But instead it’s like they saw the cutscenes and went, “Oh, the detective pulp trappings are the crux.” No, it isn’t. That’s the window dressing. Gunning down bad guys in a hallway and diving through doors in bullet time is the meat.
I watched “Hard Boiled” again the other night and it’s a way better Max Payne movie than Max Payne. It’s out of print, but it’s been uploaded to TH-cam in the original Cantonese with English subtitles or the English dub. Download it while you still can because the company that produced it refuses to release or license it because they only do real estate now and refuse to budge.
As a massive, massive Remedy games fan, to see these 2 talk about Max Payne is a dream collab I could've only wished for
Have you guys done this with the lethal weapon movies, just done a rewatch of all 4, apparently a fifth in the works. Cos like he’s Riggs and he’s mad and the guy was also max 😅. Love theese vids by the way you guys are the GOAT
i dont understand how you can go this whole review without mentioning Damon Wayans once.. He’s the star of the movie. Also way more violence than I remember and no little kids. Im beginning to think you watched a different movie than the rest of us.
Their mistake here was major.
Bloody Got Em
That's Winifred Payne... 😉
What are you looking at ass eyes?
Wrong film. That’s not a video game movie, it’s a military classic and deserves the same reverence as films like Saving Private Ryan, Glory , Platoon, or Full Metal Jacket.
as someone who lives in Wisconsin, where it snows 9 months out of the year - the Hollywood version of snow NEVER NEVER NEVER looks or acts like snow IMO.
I want the Mark Wahlberg sequel compilation to be the new guy shouting Rodney.
I loved the show Terriers too! No one has ever heard of it! Let’s see a Caravan of Garbage on Great TV Series that got canceled after only one season… Strange Luck, Firefly, Pushing Daisies, Night Sky…
i remember that guy from Blade from that MTV ad that made fun of allanis morriset's "ironic' music video. "it's like meeting the girl of your dreams and then finding out she's only five." lol
This was the first time I have ever almost walked out of a movie theater. I wanted to leave some many times but I kept falling back into a sunk cost fallacy thinking, “well surely the movie is almost over?”. But it wasn’t. It wasn’t almost over.
So was "Ted 2" the first sequel Marky Mark has made?
Yes and no. Ted 2 is the first sequel to one of his own movies. However, he was in Transformers 4 the year prior.
The part where you mentioned Donal Logue in Terriers was my favorite part.
Mark Wahlberg angrily spitting out a Bud Light somewhere while watching this
As someone who's seen Ted 2 and Daddys Home 2, I wish he'd never made a sequel.
"Put in Conker from Conker's Bad Fur Day"
Don't do that. Don't give me hope.
You know who could have saved Max Payne's family? THAT GUY WHO YELLS RODNEY! #JusticeForThatGuyWhoYellsRodney
These are never too long and usually fly by way too fast, love em
The problem is the audience doesn't u detatand Mark Wahlbegs tragic backstory. You see, as a young man, he went by the alias Marky Mark and released a song that was nit intended as a sequel, but was nonetheless unfavorable compared to the Beach Boys' hit "Good Vibrations" Since then, he has viewed never to make a sequel worse than the original- then he made several transformers movies in a row, so I guess he took off the turtleneck.
I didn't hate this anywhere near as much as the boys clearly do... also Olga was in it, which so far appears to have been tactically overlooked.
As a fan of the games, I still haven’t seen this one just because it never felt right. Mark Wahlberg felt like a miscasting from the onset as he looked like he had the personality of wet toast. You don’t get someone who has a tragic past, but someone who was inconvenienced by the events around him.
18:13 Well... he got over THAT hang-up apparently... how many Transformers movies did he do again?
I have been playing World of Warcraft for over a decade but I’ve never seen the Warcraft movie. Guess I’ll finally have to watch it before the Caravan leaves me behind!
"....would have been worse" 13:20
Jesus guys my beer came out my nose.
I didn't know this movie existed, yet it really makes me FEEL like I'm Jerry O'Connell and Marky Mark is half-heartedly tossing my phone at the wall 10/10
Or Chris O'Donnell, rather. Same guy, pretty much. Wait is that racist?
I don't know if the Shotgun Revolver is this, but there is a real pistol called The Judge that can hold smaller shells. It's illegal here in California because it's actually considered a "sawed- off"
you guys mentioning Mean Machines magazine is the most exciting ive ever felt watching your channel
“Are you bad at time management? Is that why your family are dead?”
Dead 😵
James watching Marky Mark interviews and discovering the patterns is the same as wearing those sunglasses from They Live!
The turtleneck breakdown is true. How sad there’s some character development symbology there
HBO should release a Max Payne TV series
I would definitely watch Caravan of Garbage: HBO's Max Payne
@@TheNotoriousMrDee Mickey Rourke could of been the perfect pick for max Payne back in the day
@@GunrunnerTactical Before he got really jacked, yeah, that'd be cool
The Max Payne games are some of my favorite games ever and I never saw this film. Mainly because it had Mark Wahlberg in it as Max.. luckily it was total shit so I dodged a bullet there.
Great freaking video! And you mention maybe Mark wahlberg's turtle played the video game for him? There is literally a scene like that if I can remember in Entourage, wear turtle plays a video game for a movie that Vinny Chase was up for, lol! You guys are freaking detectives great job!