Thomas's family are lovely, they are all helping him get his own retreat room together. The relief on his parents faces when they had a definite diagnosis was profound. Thomas's Dad was already being proactive by taking Thomas to the special needs exercise class, something that Thomas was so excited to attend and where he felt comfortable. I enjoyed watching this, first time I've seen the show.
d3g3n3r4t3 just because you wouldn’t want their relationship, it doesn’t mean that you should call people gross. I imagine you’re young, but one day you’ll realise that what you think about others really doesn’t matter. Not everyone wants the same thing.
I used to refuse to eat green beans because they burned my mouth. My mom thought I was lying because they were cold. I'm actually very allergic to green beans. I'm glad they checked the kid first to be safe.
@@doeeyes2 🙁So sorry Ally. They are both delicious like you said. Now, I’m not allergic, but pineapple and some other citrus makes me get cracks on the corners of my mouth once in a while. I think, not sure though, that it’s because they’re so acidic. Try adding a bit of water to your pineapple juice. Or, maybe you can eat the fruit with plain yogurt or cottage cheese. Those help me because the dairy seems to balance the acid. Cheers from Boston 💚
I think it would help if they could keep the house tidy. It was a bit of a disaster. I don't mean this negatively but i think if the house was picked up and clean, he might be more at ease...
After seeing this, I’m going to do the same thing for my son. He’s on the spectrum, and almost identical to Thomas. However, my son is a technology WIZ! I love it!! I think he would do really well with his “time out space”.
I'm so happy for both boys and their families, especially Thomas. Poor Thomas was overloaded by stimuli, with no place to retreat. Both sets of parents were engaged with their children and on board with the specialists, and we are left with the sense that a huge load has been lifted for all. I wish that all children could have loving, fully-engaged parents and supportive specialists.
Teared up at 33:07 “This is my version of jogging”. And Thomas’ lovely giggle as a reaction. Happy for him that he feels everyone in that sports group is his friend.
Mairiam DeBron poor Thomas. It must be a lonely place for him with no friends who understand him. I grew up with epilepsy, and children can be cruel. They get afraid of what they don’t understand. I really hope Thomas is doing well.
My son has aspergers and recently told me as soon as kids realized he was different they didn't want to b his friend. I didn't know this when he was growing up. It broke my heart.
I love Thomas’s and his dad. His dad has such a big heart and it really tugs at his heart strings talking about Thomas’s struggles. It’s so good to see they have finally figured out Thomas’s issues and can help him now. Beautiful.
I am 61 years old and I just found out that I have high functioning Asperger and Autism. I was told that I am "retarded" at school when I was a kid. It took me a long time, right into adulthood to find out that I am not "retarded" However I knew something was off and I was always judged harshly by my family for that.I am often overwhelmed by noise and smell and I still have problems understanding some social clues etc, I did not know why I had certain difficulties I just thought I was a freak Therefore I suffered a lot. Now that it dawned on me what is really happening with me I can finally relax and know why I am the way I am.
AnnemieM I have sever social anxiety and sensory processing issues...my coworkers totally understand when I’m overwhelmed and need to go on a short break to calm myself down...I started crying today at work it sucked...all my teachers in high school always told me I was so stupid and said I’d never amount to nothing in life....my teachers hated me and made me well aware of it....and wanting to end my life and ended up dropping out of school a few months before graduation...now I’m 27 I went back to a school for adults with disability’s and was able to graduate....
AnnemieM we are all different and even if we don’t know it we might all have some sort of something “wrong or off” if that makes sense. Glad you were able to get help...family can be so mean sometimes
I love Jensen's penguin hat He's picking up his mother's anxiety. Kids can tell if you're scared, and they will learn abject terror of anything you're even a little nervous of
Because of my mom's disdain for mushrooms and her fear of bees, I've spent my childhood feeling the same. Only later I've grown to actually enjoy cooked mushrooms and not be afraid of spiders or bumblebees and know to recognize wasps and how to behave around them not to get stung. I agree that as kids we do get influenced by our parents' reactions and emotions. Just like I was told many times a baby will get fussy if the person holding them is nervous around babies. Don't know if it's true but it's like they can sense, with empathy I presume, someone's energy.
When I was working with kids like Thomas in the Schools, we explained to the classmates when the child in need ( let's call it child x,) was not around, that child x had difficulties knowing how to play etc. and then we ask the classmates if they would be the playmate for child x for the day. We made a chart with the names of the children who wanted to help child x and then we circulated through those names and then these children played with child x for that day. It worked wonders. When children in a classroom understand that they have a child with special need among them they become really helpful and loving towards that child.
that is very cool. please also bear in mind that autistic ppl can bring a lot to the table in social settings. they value fairness and other ppls feelings very high. another child getting hurt is worse for them than themselves being in pain. it makes us autistic ppl most of the time very happy to help others, especially of nobody is judging.
I was one of those kids that would be the playmate. My teachers/school had a similar idea. It lead to me being asked to help in the special education classroom and for their field trips. It was very fun.
I work in a mainstream senior school. The number of youngsters who arrive at senior school with a "reputation of bad behaviour ", when in reality there is undiagnosed autism is mind-blowing and utterly awful.
This got me crying within minutes. I’ve been that child, that autistic uncontrollerable child. And now I’m that parent, the parent desperate for a diagnosis of their child, the mother dreading the every day battle, not knowing what mood your child is gonna be in this day, is it going to be a day where everything’s a battle ? Or will it be a day where my daughter will act abnormally serene! You never know what you are gonna wake to ! Keep strong all people suffering with autism and all mothers trying to cope with the daily struggles x
Thomas' family is so sweet, to create a space for him, respond so well to his needs and reach out for help at school so quickly. It's not nice! Good parenting there
The saddest part of Thomas's story is that they tried for a diagnosis for so long and there is no specialized help for him until they actually get this diagnosis.
And not all people with an ASD will have all symptoms. As long as you have SEVERAL or ALL of them in terms of difficulties with Social Interaction & Communication, and a good enough chunk of them in Restricted/Repetitive Behaviors, you qualify.
Dr Ravi seems like such a lovely bloke. I'm glad there are guys like him out there to help these kids get through some of their most sensitive years and have the best chance at a happy life.
Thomas rubbing his face and trying to be alone on xmas day made me cry. It really must be horrible for him all that noise and stimulation. Lovely family.
So awesome, kudo's to Thomas' Dad for making him his own space and having him help with that process. My grandson is autistic, my son had him help build a chicken coope and other projects. Time spent together, learning new things, all giving the boy a sense of self accomplishment. Well done mom and dad for pursuing a diagnosis and solutions to help him along, he'll be fine.
It is a special interest. That is more extreme than a hobby and something you can get really got at and become a specialist in a special interest in the future. Many autistic people have one and these may change over the lifetime. My special interests are fish tanks.
To see Mark talking about his life and see how he has been able to live fairly normally gives me so much hope for my own life as I have the same diagnoses as him and have incredible support from my family, school extra
Thomas looked like he was smiling (as though he knew the doctor was having him on a bit) when the doctor suggested the LEGO plant could be a hairbrush. It wasn’t as though he got angered by it. Also the mum who keeps making different things like toast and fish fingers seems to be fuelling the boy.
@@LemonSte absolutely. fellow aspie here. just let the plant be a plant and a brush a brush. aspies can act as if a brush were a plant and the other way round if they want to, but if thats not the game then why waste time with this kind of sillyness :)
My daughter dated an an “aspie” as you call yourselves. If I tried to tease him, he would just roll his eyes at me and make a friendly face of “geesh!” And shake his head! Then we would ALL laugh! It was EXACTLY that! Why should he waste his time but he liked us so he wasn’t really angry ! Unfortunately he had never been diagnosed (he was in his 40’s.) so we were just working on what we “thought.” He ended up breaking up with my daughter and he has probably never gotten any help. It’s too bad. His obsession was weather. Can’t even tell you! It has been years but I think of him often....
I was quite similar to Thomas as a kid, I really feel for him honestly. I can still barely go to a stimulating store without having a mental meltdown, I couldn't imagining having to go home to a busy house as well.
Same, tho mines is not as bad, i actually found out in highschool when my paretns took me to a therapist for deppresion and stjff cause i was failing all my classes. Really crowded stores give me anxity and get me really angry. Like i get really angry for no reason and such and like oof
Them laughing at him for getting excited for simple things like building and vacuums. Hit the feels right there, don't get frustrated with him being different realize the benefits of his keen interest and give him books, bring him to people who can teach him more and how the world works with some one on one time, have him spend time with other adults instead of kids for awhile and have them explain what their doing and what other people are doingin public and why so they'll have a better understanding of socializing
Me too, everytime I have to go to Ikea and can't find what I want and get out within 20 minutes I want to throw myself on the floor in a proper temper tantrum, which unfortunately isn't acceptable for a 40 year old... I remember hiding under the bed when my mother's loud family came to visit and having my Mum tell me this wasn't normal for a 6 year old. I don't have autism, I'm introverted with sound colour synesthesia... But my point is, being social 24/7 just isn't for everyone, but our society seems to think it should be. Now I work from home as a translator and have enough energy left for an active social life. And I'm happy that my 3 year old can now express his needs and asks his friends "Can you please go now?" after they came over and have been playing for a while.
@@blueraspberrylemonade32 Right? I hated the way Thomas's family talked about him - "But Tom, why do you think they pick on ya?" Instantly putting the blame on the victim. Living in the clutter and chaos must have been horrible for him, it's no wonder he was getting so stressed out. Poor little boy, I hope he's doing well now.
@Mister Squiggles Yep. My 4 year old son is on the spectrum ( I knew since he was 1 and even was different as an infant and even pictures you can see his eyes change to looking through or off the the side of you) and my sister (PDD-NOS which is on the spectrum again in the US but was told if she was tested a few years earlier than 9 she would’ve been actually diagnosed as Autistic Disorder) but I do believe I may have it also but masked a lot. Never had any friends or 1 then she moved and I had none from when she moved in elementary school up till 10th grade but my parents insisted I had friends and I was lying. I always played alone at recess and didn’t really talk to other kids at all. I also had speech issues where even at 4 and 5 a lot of people couldn’t understand me but my parents could. When other kids had stopped playing with certain toys like Barbies (no one played with them even at 8 in 3rd grade but I did). I hated skirts and dresses because of how they felt by 8 or 9 but ironically when I was younger than that I would only wear skirts or dresses because I didn’t like shorts or pants. I was bullied really bad and by 9 was depressed 25% of the time and by 11 50% of the time and by 12 almost 100% of the time (which I’ve heard depression can be a sign in girls but obviously not all at all). I never got along with other kids and even now I can talk and talk and talk to someone about the same thing forever and I know people get annoyed sometimes but it takes a while for me to pick it up. Plus an extremely high pain tolerance.
@@pincel64 true, the boy is rude and badly spoiled, but not actually is in the spectrum, my niece ABSOLUTELY loves something and completely change after 6 months or so.
Lesley Allinson I what’re. He reminds me of my little cousin (he was more like a nephew to me) unfortunately he passed away unexpectedly at 13. Can’t wait to see Thomas thrive and change the world
Honestly I wouldn't hope for it. Sure, some autistic people are amazing at certain things but most I've met have a special interest that isn't really very useful for an adult.
I disagree. I’m also high-functioning autistic, as I grew up I typically kept to myself and poured my heart into building things whether it was a fort in the forest, a sand castle with its own little village, or my own lego design. In my teens I focused more on drawing and painting. I now make dentures. He can absolutely do many great things as an adult!
The way Thomas takes everything *SO* literally reminds me of my sister, who has Asperger's. The whole family calls her "Techy Tech" not only because she's hilariously literal and technical, but also because she's really interested in computer science. It fits XD
I really enjoyed this video.Thomas is just delightful young man.. so smart and I’m surprised he wasn’t diagnosed earlier .. but I’m very glad he has his own space and he should be happier now that everyone knows what’s up..
Thomas told us that he doesn’t like noises and certain situations. He has trouble with social cues. I thought - autism. Thanks for sharing these stories! I find them extremely fascinating !
Not anymore! It’s being phased out, you see it more in lower class families. It’s against policy in lots of nurseries to use the word naughty as it’s labelling the child rather than the behaviour
@@lindagray1809 I found an autistic book, as I call such as the following, in my local library called George and Sam. It's by a mother with 2 sons who are autistic and 1 who isn't. They live in England and the book was published in 2003, but the last time I went to the library I saw it there still. I'm not British, but since I've read that book and Daniel Isn't Talking, another autistic book, but fictional about a little boy who's autistic with an older sister who isn't, I know they got some diagnostics. This channel became known to me when a video from them was mentioned on my sidebar.
Thomas's family are doing their best and being very lovely, but their house seriously needs to be tidied. There are way too many people, pets and just THINGS everywhere. Just looking at all the messy things is making me nervous.
I was thinking along these same line - I know both parent's are busy, esp with a newish little one, but that place could have used a good tidy up. A place for everything and everything in it's place. Esp with all the ppl who live there, organization is key.
I wish both of you a lifetime of pure happiness. I believe that people with autism and Asperger’s syndrome are extremely special people. There is a book that I’ve read about a young man with Aspergers called House Rules, written by Jodi Piccoult. I was intrigued by the character in this book. Maybe you’d both be interested. 🌸
I'm seeing a lot of me in the kids with Asberger's syndrome. I'm almost sure I've got it. I get very explosive anger over nothing. I have major social anxiety. 90% of people my age I don't get along with at all. They usually end up bulling me. I totally shut down, and just sit and stare at nothing at all. Can do this hours at a time not moving. When my anxiety gets up I end up shutting down as well as can have a seizure. I have a lot of other things that are hand in hand with Asberger's. ADHD, OCD, ADD, are just a few of them.
My experience with Essex County Council's assessment and support for my special needs son was 100% positive, absolutely wonderful. I couldn't rate them more highly. When I moved to Norfolk, the exact opposite was true. Techniques were poor, old-fashioned and staff extremely biased. Things became so very bad, I reported the doctor in charge of our case and my family was forced to move in order to escape the constant intimidation and threats issued by this doctor and her inadequate team.
Oh my goodness!!! That is outrageous!!! I don’t understand how the service can vary so much from one area to the other. Don’t they all fall under the responsibility of the same minister at the national level? That is absolutely shameful!!! So sorry for you and your family!!!
unfortunately most of the research on autism is done on cis males so the traits that are unique to girls are less known and so girls go undiagnosed or not taken seriously
My son got his diagnosis of ASD with learning difficulties just 2 short years ago at 14 years old. I think all staff in every school should be trained to spot behaviours that may lead to a diagnosis of Autism, A.D.H.D etc so that instead of fobbing parents off and saying, they don't believe that (which happened to us 6 years previously in a different school), that they would support the family as a whole. That way specialist support is put in place early, to give that brighter future to kids on the spectrum. My son is doing fantastic with his education now after supports have been put in place to us as a family but more importantly to him. He is attaining much better in a smaller school for children with specialist needs.
I struggled to get my ADHD diagnosis. All through school I struggled and hated class work. The teachers thought I was just slacking off in class and I spent way to many evenings arguing with my parents about my grades. Only two teachers picked up on it my year 10 science teacher and my year 11 English teacher. My science teacher picked up on the fact that I had top grade (excellence) answers and understanding but was writing them out a a fail or basic pass grade (achieved or not achieved). The way my English teacher would describe me was "hi, I'm and I've got 20 tabs open on my laptop, doing crotchet, talking and concentrating on classwork." As well as that I was incredibly impulsive. I would do things ( start making another project while there were another 3 in the corner) In august last year I had ADHD testing done and got the results of it saying that I had ADHD. Although looking at me, most people wouldn't realize it (apart from a few twitches which happen throughout the day). My ADHD affects me more when it comes to processing info and writing tests and exams. I whole heartedly agree that teachers need to be more aware of people with learning issues rather than just labeling them as "problematic"
As a teacher with ADHD, I do confront parents with this kind of information, but so many of them don't want to acknowledge it. I have had a 7 year old who clearly has ASD, but the father is in denial because the mother died and he thinks she babied him. He is in major denial... as are my own parents!
With me I’d avoid social situations and parties, high frequency sounds, and want to be alone a lot. Others did bully me as well at school, but I’d find a way to get back at them for doing so Mind used to feel a lot of things at once and be difficult to concentrate on certain things Resulting in walking away or only doing or working on one subject
I relate to Thomas sooo much. Been like that my whole life but I've been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and ADHD. Tough world, I wish everyone could have the opportunity to get care like is provided to the kids in this show.
I have a 6-year-old grandson with Asperger's and is a lot like Thomas. My son and daughter-in-law knew he was different right from the start. He is highly intelligent and struggles to fit in at school but has a wonderful support group within the school, he also has anxiety about certain things and can become violent if that anxiety builds up but he also benefits so much from time with his cousins. All in all, he's a gorgeous kid.
I cannot tell you the relief I felt when I finally saw Thomas's mother smile at him at 40:42... Until that moment she had seemed almost totally detached emotionally. It was heartbreaking. When I saw how she looked at him then, I was able to exhale. I still found myself constantly wishing she would put her arm around him, or touch his hand... just attempt even some small gesture of physical connection to, and affection for, this beautiful boy she gave birth to...
@Janine M I understand what ur saying, but we have no idea what the mother has gone through or what she has/hasn’t tried in the past. Could also be anxious because there are cameras there… Also, touching or hugging someone on the spectrum may or may not be helpful, depending on their individual sensitivities. The important thing is that the father certainly seems to be supportive, Mom is coming around and things are improving for Thomas…
Awesome families! Their love and care, will be rewarded! My granddaughter graduated last year in Child Psychology. Her desire was to understand better, the condition of her own children, who are autistic! I admire all the parents for responding to their children's needs! May you all have the victory, so deserved... God bless! 🌹
Poor Thomas. Too many kids in the home with all those animals. Why do parents have so many kids when there's really not enough room for them to thrive? Surely it's aggravated Thomas' condition.
WHY dont people eat round a table with their chidren anymore? Breast or bottle, just eat around your children and include them! Its not Rocket Science...
I think it is down to how expected it is to have children if you're partnered up. But......not everyone finds interacting with children to be enjoyable or interesting especially when you want to eat and they're at an age where you have to assist them. You can't really focus on your own food. So a habit gets started of helping them eat and then making a separate eating time for yourself. Then when they're old enough to feed themselves, people will eat in front of the TV because children can be quite boring for some people in the same way a very intelligent adult might not enjoy hanging out with someone quite dim. I think a lot of people who don't really enjoy kids go ahead and have kids anyway.
@@ThePimmy11 That might explain it sometimes but in this case they seem to like doing stuff with him and playing and seem really happy with him. Which makes it even weirder that he has to eat alone, and that he eats in the living room. How can he learn how to behave at a meal if no one's eating with him?
I have three math intelligent boys all along the austism spectrum the middle one was finally diagnosed at 18;we had seen lots of people over the years and still he was not diagnosed
My doctor told me there was no point having my son diagnosed at 14 when his teachers told me. This was NOT the right advice. After high school ended things were very difficult for my son. He was diagnosed at 18 with aspergers. It's extremely frustrating when medical professionals r wrong!
I am glad to see families who love and support their children and recognize that there is a need that is not being met and have found a way to get them the tools that will help them function and strive. What a beautiful video. It was done quite well with class and respect. I believe that it is important to educate people who are oblivious to things like this and who have no experience with things like this because they might not need to know this information but if they cross paths with someone who could benefit from it, they can relay it like a message and inevitably help someone else by passing on the information, that they otherwise may have never gotten, had this video not been made. This is brilliant. Bravo! Maybe they could supply a phone number at the end of the video for people who might like to contact someone who could point them in the right direction.
My sister was a terrible eater. Mum saw the doctor. "She's not losing weight so she's fine", said the doctor, and that was that. She's now 60 and hasn't starved to death. Take it or leave it was the 1960s ethos.
Urgh. I hope the GP's who were refusing to entertain the idea that Thomas had learning issues/autism weren't being bigoted about the family's working class background. If Nicola had a posh accent would she have been dismissed? I just find it strange because Thomas is so extremely textbook.
44:08 "Don't like it!" "OK, I'll have it...(walks away)" lol I do this to one of my dogs when he's being picky. Not that I'll eat his food, but I show him that I'm offering it to one of my other dogs. If he's still not interested, then I know he's really not feeling well.
Good Lord that mum is causing a real fuss about food. Make him a mini buffet bits of cheese slices of fruit cucumber etc. Leave it on the coffee table, put on his favourite tv show and leave him alone. Poor boy what a fuss
Even better, ditch the highchair, get a booster seat which slips on a dining chair seat, hooks over the back of a dining chair or clips to the table. They fold up very small as well so you can travel the world with them, use them anywhere.
Jen And Urwin agreed. Part of the problem is he was sill being treated like a baby. Bottles of milk like are baby formula meal replacement, pacifiers, hichair. He needs to feel like a big boy. Sippy cups, silverware, table and chair, remove the pacifier.
@@jutta3782 hardly any families in the UK eat together at the table other than special occasions like Christmas and New Years Day. It's just an outdated tradition that's been replaced by food on the go and meals infront of the TV
Hello fellow Autistics stalking the comment section :) What are your special interests? Mine are sci fi (especially Doctor Who and the Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy;, and theatre, especially acting
I love sci fi, but more like the Trekkie part I think. I also love to collect lighters (have no clue why, but I want them) And all the books from Stephen King.
Video games, sounds really typical for a interest. But I could write a book on the plots/history/social contexts of games just from memory. I am also into architecture and royal family trees
It is so irritating to see parents giving bottles to a child that can drink from a cup. I wonder if they are trying to keep the child a baby. Most children can hold a sippy cup by the age of 6 months. Two year old for sure don't need a bottle.
Thomas’s parents need to watch what they are saying in front of him because even though he’s autistic, he’s not stupid! I’ve worked with children who have autism and I don’t really understand why people are so upset if their child has autism. You’re always on a journey with any child and your journey with a child with autism is just a new different journey than you expected. Little Jenson, I’ve had exactly the same problem as this family with my first child and I did the same as these parents. Thankfully mine are all successful, healthy adults now.
They ought to mention that girls sometimes have entirely different symptoms, as the symptoms are based on boys alone. Many girls don't get their diagnosis for many years, often not until in adulthood, just like ADD/ADHD.
It's crazy that Jensen's regular pediatrician didn't refer him for allergy testing after peanut butter sent him to the emergency room at only one year old. My child's pediatrician referred him for full allergy screening just based on rashes. If he wouldn't have, I could have, on my own accord, brought him to a specialist for testing. It sounds like the medical system in Jensen's area is severely lacking.
I find it a shame it took so many years before Thomas being diagnosed. To anyone that is around children to know normal behavior would ergo see he had an underlying issue of the brain. It shouldn't have taken him being seen by specialist at age 10. by five at most he should have been tested of the doctors had given parents any trust in knowing he was behaving differently. As a nurse I work with doctors of many personalities and I find those that think because they went to medical school and a patent hasn't they know nothing. I am a huge believer in listening to the parents as they are with this child all the time, they tend to have that insight when a child isn't "normal" compared to others of the same age or along with sibling behaviour. At least now they have a place to start in getting him extra help and changing things at home so he isn't so stressed. He's a handsome young man with a very bright future ahead of him and extremely loving parents and siblings to help him along. I wish both families well
Does anyone remember Thomas' family from supernanny on the road?? They went to the shopping centre where Jo Frost gave tips. They were already asking for advice.
My son is also on the Autism Spectrum, and high functioning. Watching Thomas was just like watching my Dustin. I can tell you, once you get that diagnosis, it’s SO MUCH EASIER to handle. I still get very frustrated trying to deal with Dustin’s rigid thinking, but that is to be expected. I do not have the help I need with him, as it is difficult to get through the community. (We are in the USA, and we live in California. Since he was born in Alaska, the help is more difficult to get. He would be privy to all sorts of help, had he been born in California.) we do have a 504 plan for his school, but that was such a fight. The teachers and school psychologist don’t have enough experience with Autism to know how to treat them without shaming them for reacting in ways that “aren’t normal”. I have explained that Dustin’s reactions to being overstimulated are indeed, normal in his world. My thought and prayers are with Thomas and his family. They have a very special young man, and to have the opportunity to see the world through Thomas’s eyes is such a blessing and a true gift!
The older boy is amazing I reckon he will make an engineer or something working with hands a carpenter I think with help he will go far Thomas is amazing with all the help he will go far 5his will make a big difference with the help
This made my eyes fill with tears because thomas made me remember my own childhood and how I never had any friends and how all the kids were so cruel to me, I'm 28 now and i was diagnosed with aspergers when I was 26 and i finally understood so much about my life but it also made me sad that I got the diagnosis so late in life because I suffered so much thruout it i wish I could've gotten help younger
Mary Jane Love YES...so did I. I just couldn’t place them. It’s a fair few kids for a man of his years. He must have the patience of a saint. But, they’re still together and I think that’s wonderful.
My 27 year old daughter was an extremely difficult child. At the age of 17 she had a massive breakdown set off by the breakup of her first boyfriend. She eventually was seen by CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service) and diagnosed with Pure O OCD. With hindsight when I look back the signs were all there from the age of 2, but I obviously had no experience of what to look for. She did get the help she needed, but it will never go away, she just learns to manage it. The important thing is getting a diagnosis as I know people who haven’t been diagnosed until their 40’s, at which time it has been allowed to fester, become too deep seated, making it much more difficult to be treated.
My son would only eat a few foods when he was small. He used to smell everything and I think he genuinely couldn’t handle the taste of a lot of things. He grew out of it thankfully . My little brother was the same but mum made meals into a nightmare trying to force feed him, he grew from a tiny prem baby into a healthy 6 foot man who will eat anything and loves food!
Was never diagnosed, but I’m Thomas. I never did understand the facial expression pictures. I need to see some context, ie. , If I have the person’s words, the environment, the setting, only then can make a reasonable assessment. I was the weird kid at school who had no close friends. I played alone, and differently than the other children. I enjoyed highly inventive building, designed, and created art out of natural materials around the play yard. I liked playground equipment, but in and of itself. The main pleasure of play wasn’t social, although I felt badly because I knew I was a misfit. I was afraid my parents would find out and be angry I’d let them down. There was a great deal of shame. To compensate, I dedicated myself to solo studies and hobbies. Yet, there are some differences. I love and understand humor. What may be mistaken for rigid thinking on the surface often turns out to be revolutionary thinking for which my peers give me credit. Unlike Thomas, I didn’t have tantrums as that sort of behavior wasn’t tolerated by my Depression-era parents. I would have gotten a beating I’d not soon forget. I kept such feelings to myself as was expected. Crowds and commotion overwhelm me. My parents, strangely, seemed not to recognize or acknowledge I was not like others my age. When the senior prom came and went, and I expressed no interest, no comment was ever made, although my mother’s friend’s teens were all abuzz with their dates, gowns, limos, after-parties... I knew no boy was going to ask me and that if one did, it would because he’d been forced into it. I had enough social awareness to realize I’d be the laughingstock even worse than I already was. So I asked my parents if we could go on a family camping trip to Connecticut that weekend, never mentioning the prom. I did the planning and packing and we had a great time, hiking with my Dad to the top of a mountain for a picnic lunch. Given my choice of a crowded, noisy social event or a hike with one friend for a picnic in nature, I’d still choose the latter in a heartbeat. I can imagine myself being friends with Thomas as adults. We’d enjoy common activities, but would maintain a certain distance between ourselves. It’s too bad society seems to have no awareness or acceptance of people like Thomas. From the late teen years on, you are expected to be either “with” a partner, or “single,” nothing in between.
I know what you mean. In other TH-cam videos, I learned that females on the autistic spectrum can often go undiagnosed when they a develop peculiar coping mechanism that could be called "Fake it until you make it". Not being able to instinctively decode other people's emotions and behaviors, we observe them, formulate "rules", then implement/"fake-it" to mimic the normal behavior. I wonder if I come under the ASD tag myself, but then again, what benefit is there now of having an official diagnosis when I've obviously adapted pretty well? Still single tho, lol.
@@SaBoTeUr2001 Are you past middle age? I'm in my sixties, still working, and I really can't complain. I may have "missed out" on the usual human pleasures of dating, parties, marriage, children, but I've gone places and done things my peers and colleagues will never experience. I belong to a "third order" Catholic religious group, (Franciscan), and have found acceptance for how God made me. Overall, I consider myself well-compensated. I've gone down "The Road Not Taken," and it has made all the difference. A diagnosis would be of no benefit to me, personally, but I'd consider it if it were part of research into ASD, to help others who are struggling. Best of luck. Marie
I feel like that too.. even now in my late 20s I'm still the weird one, have problema with social interaction, but adapted fairly well in a "Falke it till you make it"-style...
also kids should not be watching TV while eating. Video games shoulod be limited (too stimulating for some kids) also addictive and obviously NO violent video games.
My oldest son was a challenging child to around the age of 6. He loved causing mayhem including wanting to do the food drama but my husband and I refused to participate. He didn’t have to eat everything on his plate. He had to try a new food before refusing it. Throwing your food on the floor got him removed from the table and there was no more food until the next meal. We didn’t make a big deal about it. No chastising, yelling, or begging him to eat. We always ate dinner together as a family. When it sunk in that he would be in his room while his older and younger sisters were at the table with us, eating, talking, and laughing seeming not to miss him at all, he stopped with his food nonsense. He created more drama in other areas and we just dealt with him with firmly but with love.
Can I just say those children are fabulous little painters. So much better than I am and I am grown. 💘💘💘 this family and their support for their beloved brother and son.
I am not a medical doctor but I have taught in education for over 35 years. I can spot a student on the autism spectrum within one day. It is ridiculous that it took the family over four years to get a diagnosis and special Ed placement for their son.
It does seem to be surprising it took so long. By the age of 9 he must have had 4 or 5 different teachers, I would have thought that one might have noticed. The other children have certainly spotted something is not quite right.
Thomas's father is ancient. Studies show paternal age may increase the odds of autism in their children. Very sad, because there is a lot of that in the UK.
Why is it so sad to be autistic? Apart from people being annoying regarding my sensory needs, meltdowns, and executive functioning problems it hasn't been as terrible as some people make it out to be for me at least
I have always felt sick after eating foods that break down to sugars breads and pastas candy and such. My daughter is the very same we eat proteins fats veggies fruit and yoghurt. Jensen threw away anything bread related but readily ate the veggies and chicken...
As a mom of two now teenagers if I have learned anything it is to trust your gut when it comes to your kiddos and push until you find somebody to help. Both of my kids would have died as toddlers had i not taken this to advice to heart from those with much more wisdom than myself.
Older men have babies who have health problems. My dad was 63 when my brother was born. My mom was 36. MY brother was born with a heart defect and mental defect as well as short stature. Just because a man can impregnate a woman doesn't mean he should.
@@sharynkoren2744 i totally agree. We have family friends who had a boy/girls twins at 49. One twin is very intelligent and functions perfectly normally. The boy twin is on par with a 2 year old and is nonverbal autistic. Their doctors warned them of their increased risk to have children with mental or physical disabilities. They are overly stressed out 24/7 and their autistic child is becoming to large to control and violent.
Thomas is just like my little brother. He had so many behavioral issues at home and school and it took 13 years to get an autism diagnosis. I wish we got it sooner.
Thomas's family are lovely, they are all helping him get his own retreat room together. The relief on his parents faces when they had a definite diagnosis was profound. Thomas's Dad was already being proactive by taking Thomas to the special needs exercise class, something that Thomas was so excited to attend and where he felt comfortable. I enjoyed watching this, first time I've seen the show.
hah i thot his dad was his moms dad....thats gross
d3g3n3r4t3 just because you wouldn’t want their relationship, it doesn’t mean that you should call people gross. I imagine you’re young, but one day you’ll realise that what you think about others really doesn’t matter. Not everyone wants the same thing.
They were both on an age gap relationship programme, I think it was channel 5?
d3g3n3r4t3 grow up
Thomas's father need to be sensitive to his son but be firm with him too.
I used to refuse to eat green beans because they burned my mouth. My mom thought I was lying because they were cold. I'm actually very allergic to green beans. I'm glad they checked the kid first to be safe.
LadyLenaki Damn I’m sorry, green beans are one of my favourite vegetables
LadyLenaki his name is Jensen
@@keegan2207 I can’t stand green beans but my son loves them.
Im allergic to pineapple and kiwis. It sucks cuz they tatse good.... but my mouth burns and throat closes up
@@doeeyes2 🙁So sorry Ally. They are both delicious like you said. Now, I’m not allergic, but pineapple and some other citrus makes me get cracks on the corners of my mouth once in a while. I think, not sure though, that it’s because they’re so acidic. Try adding a bit of water to your pineapple juice. Or, maybe you can eat the fruit with plain yogurt or cottage cheese. Those help me because the dairy seems to balance the acid. Cheers from Boston 💚
I love how his family made him his own little play house to get away from noise and stimulations.
Yeah, that almost made me tear up. So sweet and loving.
I think it would help if they could keep the house tidy. It was a bit of a disaster. I don't mean this negatively but i think if the house was picked up and clean, he might be more at ease...
After seeing this, I’m going to do the same thing for my son. He’s on the spectrum, and almost identical to Thomas. However, my son is a technology WIZ! I love it!! I think he would do really well with his “time out space”.
@@lianealbert7728 perhaps its messy because of the child.
That really touched me! What a loving family
I'm so happy for both boys and their families, especially Thomas. Poor Thomas was overloaded by stimuli, with no place to retreat. Both sets of parents were engaged with their children and on board with the specialists, and we are left with the sense that a huge load has been lifted for all. I wish that all children could have loving, fully-engaged parents and supportive specialists.
Teared up at 33:07 “This is my version of jogging”. And Thomas’ lovely giggle as a reaction. Happy for him that he feels everyone in that sports group is his friend.
Mairiam DeBron poor Thomas. It must be a lonely place for him with no friends who understand him. I grew up with epilepsy, and children can be cruel. They get afraid of what they don’t understand. I really hope Thomas is doing well.
Pommie bears hoping the same for you.
Mairiam DeBron thank you, that’s lovely 🌸
This is so wholesome. Its so sweet he is understanding to them, such a precious kid 😭
My son has aspergers and recently told me as soon as kids realized he was different they didn't want to b his friend. I didn't know this when he was growing up. It broke my heart.
So thrilled for wee Thomas and his family on his diagnosis! And im so glad Jensons mum has been able to let go of her worries regarding his health!
I love Thomas’s and his dad. His dad has such a big heart and it really tugs at his heart strings talking about Thomas’s struggles. It’s so good to see they have finally figured out Thomas’s issues and can help him now. Beautiful.
I agree 100% these kids and their parents are Amazing
As a preschool teacher it is very concerning that no one picked up on Thomas' diagnosis earlier! Shocking!
Jo Mc I’m a preschool teacher as well...it seemed pretty to pick up on his diagnosis
I am 61 years old and I just found out that I have high functioning Asperger and Autism. I was told that I am "retarded" at school when I was a kid. It took me a long time, right into adulthood to find out that I am not "retarded" However I knew something was off and I was always judged harshly by my family for that.I am often overwhelmed by noise and smell and I still have problems understanding some social clues etc, I did not know why I had certain difficulties I just thought I was a freak Therefore I suffered a lot. Now that it dawned on me what is really happening with me I can finally relax and know why I am the way I am.
AnnemieM I have sever social anxiety and sensory processing issues...my coworkers totally understand when I’m overwhelmed and need to go on a short break to calm myself down...I started crying today at work it sucked...all my teachers in high school always told me I was so stupid and said I’d never amount to nothing in life....my teachers hated me and made me well aware of it....and wanting to end my life and ended up dropping out of school a few months before graduation...now I’m 27 I went back to a school for adults with disability’s and was able to graduate....
AnnemieM we are all different and even if we don’t know it we might all have some sort of something “wrong or off” if that makes sense. Glad you were able to get help...family can be so mean sometimes
@@AnnemieM I'm so sorry you had to go through that! Glad you know what's happening now, its great to have a little clarity
I love Jensen's penguin hat
He's picking up his mother's anxiety. Kids can tell if you're scared, and they will learn abject terror of anything you're even a little nervous of
Because of my mom's disdain for mushrooms and her fear of bees, I've spent my childhood feeling the same. Only later I've grown to actually enjoy cooked mushrooms and not be afraid of spiders or bumblebees and know to recognize wasps and how to behave around them not to get stung. I agree that as kids we do get influenced by our parents' reactions and emotions.
Just like I was told many times a baby will get fussy if the person holding them is nervous around babies. Don't know if it's true but it's like they can sense, with empathy I presume, someone's energy.
I thought this as well. They don't help the situation whatsoever projecting their fears. They should hide them in front of their kids.
When I was working with kids like Thomas in the Schools, we explained to the classmates when the child in need ( let's call it child x,) was not around, that child x had difficulties knowing how to play etc. and then we ask the classmates if they would be the playmate for child x for the day. We made a chart with the names of the children who wanted to help child x and then we circulated through those names and then these children played with child x for that day. It worked wonders. When children in a classroom understand that they have a child with special need among them they become really helpful and loving towards that child.
that is very cool. please also bear in mind that autistic ppl can bring a lot to the table in social settings. they value fairness and other ppls feelings very high. another child getting hurt is worse for them than themselves being in pain. it makes us autistic ppl most of the time very happy to help others, especially of nobody is judging.
I think schools need to educate children about not only autism but all types,of needs
dark shadow children are allowed to exclude other children which I think is not on
Especially when there is a kind, understanding and knowledgeable teacher!
I was one of those kids that would be the playmate. My teachers/school had a similar idea. It lead to me being asked to help in the special education classroom and for their field trips. It was very fun.
I work in a mainstream senior school. The number of youngsters who arrive at senior school with a "reputation of bad behaviour ", when in reality there is undiagnosed autism is mind-blowing and utterly awful.
Bless these doctors and families for loving these precious children and helping them reach their full potential.
It's great they can actually see them in their own homes and discuss their diagnoses with each other. It should always be like this.
This got me crying within minutes. I’ve been that child, that autistic uncontrollerable child. And now I’m that parent, the parent desperate for a diagnosis of their child, the mother dreading the every day battle, not knowing what mood your child is gonna be in this day, is it going to be a day where everything’s a battle ? Or will it be a day where my daughter will act abnormally serene! You never know what you are gonna wake to ! Keep strong all people suffering with autism and all mothers trying to cope with the daily struggles x
Thomas' family is so sweet, to create a space for him, respond so well to his needs and reach out for help at school so quickly. It's not nice! Good parenting there
The saddest part of Thomas's story is that they tried for a diagnosis for so long and there is no specialized help for him until they actually get this diagnosis.
And not all people with an ASD will have all symptoms.
As long as you have SEVERAL or ALL of them in terms of difficulties with Social Interaction & Communication, and a good enough chunk of them in Restricted/Repetitive Behaviors, you qualify.
Well, at least 2 of them in RRB
Dr Ravi seems like such a lovely bloke. I'm glad there are guys like him out there to help these kids get through some of their most sensitive years and have the best chance at a happy life.
Thomas rubbing his face and trying to be alone on xmas day made me cry. It really must be horrible for him all that noise and stimulation. Lovely family.
So awesome, kudo's to Thomas' Dad for making him his own space and having him help with that process. My grandson is autistic, my son had him help build a chicken coope and other projects. Time spent together, learning new things, all giving the boy a sense of self accomplishment. Well done mom and dad for pursuing a diagnosis and solutions to help him along, he'll be fine.
Better to be obsessed with legos then hurting himself or others. It might just be his hobby, like reptiles are mine. I have 4 lizards.
It is a special interest. That is more extreme than a hobby and something you can get really got at and become a specialist in a special interest in the future. Many autistic people have one and these may change over the lifetime. My special interests are fish tanks.
TWDSUPERFAN2010 1986
My special interest is the environment
My special interests are comics and reptiles
My hobbies and special interests are orchestral music and producing it.
@@bfbvouabeorbvoaervure963 8 I I 9 by n
B k0j0 NJ NJ hi
To see Mark talking about his life and see how he has been able to live fairly normally gives me so much hope for my own life as I have the same diagnoses as him and have incredible support from my family, school extra
Thomas looked like he was smiling (as though he knew the doctor was having him on a bit) when the doctor suggested the LEGO plant could be a hairbrush. It wasn’t as though he got angered by it. Also the mum who keeps making different things like toast and fish fingers seems to be fuelling the boy.
yeah, aspie here - it doesn't always cause a meltdown, it's more of us aspies thinking 'wow you're silly, that's clearly a plant.'
@@LemonSte absolutely. fellow aspie here. just let the plant be a plant and a brush a brush. aspies can act as if a brush were a plant and the other way round if they want to, but if thats not the game then why waste time with this kind of sillyness :)
@@lizvlx yep exactly
My daughter dated an an “aspie” as you call yourselves. If I tried to tease him, he would just roll his eyes at me and make a friendly face of “geesh!” And shake his head! Then we would ALL laugh! It was EXACTLY that! Why should he waste his time but he liked us so he wasn’t really angry ! Unfortunately he had never been diagnosed (he was in his 40’s.) so we were just working on what we “thought.” He ended up breaking up with my daughter and he has probably never gotten any help. It’s too bad. His obsession was weather. Can’t even tell you! It has been years but I think of him often....
maybe the pyjamas are scratchy or the label feels horrible
I was quite similar to Thomas as a kid, I really feel for him honestly. I can still barely go to a stimulating store without having a mental meltdown, I couldn't imagining having to go home to a busy house as well.
Same, tho mines is not as bad, i actually found out in highschool when my paretns took me to a therapist for deppresion and stjff cause i was failing all my classes. Really crowded stores give me anxity and get me really angry. Like i get really angry for no reason and such and like oof
Them laughing at him for getting excited for simple things like building and vacuums. Hit the feels right there, don't get frustrated with him being different realize the benefits of his keen interest and give him books, bring him to people who can teach him more and how the world works with some one on one time, have him spend time with other adults instead of kids for awhile and have them explain what their doing and what other people are doingin public and why so they'll have a better understanding of socializing
Me too, everytime I have to go to Ikea and can't find what I want and get out within 20 minutes I want to throw myself on the floor in a proper temper tantrum, which unfortunately isn't acceptable for a 40 year old... I remember hiding under the bed when my mother's loud family came to visit and having my Mum tell me this wasn't normal for a 6 year old. I don't have autism, I'm introverted with sound colour synesthesia... But my point is, being social 24/7 just isn't for everyone, but our society seems to think it should be. Now I work from home as a translator and have enough energy left for an active social life. And I'm happy that my 3 year old can now express his needs and asks his friends "Can you please go now?" after they came over and have been playing for a while.
@@blueraspberrylemonade32 Right? I hated the way Thomas's family talked about him - "But Tom, why do you think they pick on ya?" Instantly putting the blame on the victim. Living in the clutter and chaos must have been horrible for him, it's no wonder he was getting so stressed out. Poor little boy, I hope he's doing well now.
amazing how much a difference a professional educators can make...no child is hopeless...all can learn to enjoy and learn and thrive
Immediately knew the first boy is on the spectrum.
Everybody seems to be on the spectrum lately.
His stilted manner of speech, along with the very even tone, are pretty indicative. At least in my (NONprofessional) experience.
@Mister Squiggles Yep. My 4 year old son is on the spectrum ( I knew since he was 1 and even was different as an infant and even pictures you can see his eyes change to looking through or off the the side of you) and my sister (PDD-NOS which is on the spectrum again in the US but was told if she was tested a few years earlier than 9 she would’ve been actually diagnosed as Autistic Disorder) but I do believe I may have it also but masked a lot. Never had any friends or 1 then she moved and I had none from when she moved in elementary school up till 10th grade but my parents insisted I had friends and I was lying. I always played alone at recess and didn’t really talk to other kids at all. I also had speech issues where even at 4 and 5 a lot of people couldn’t understand me but my parents could. When other kids had stopped playing with certain toys like Barbies (no one played with them even at 8 in 3rd grade but I did). I hated skirts and dresses because of how they felt by 8 or 9 but ironically when I was younger than that I would only wear skirts or dresses because I didn’t like shorts or pants. I was bullied really bad and by 9 was depressed 25% of the time and by 11 50% of the time and by 12 almost 100% of the time (which I’ve heard depression can be a sign in girls but obviously not all at all). I never got along with other kids and even now I can talk and talk and talk to someone about the same thing forever and I know people get annoyed sometimes but it takes a while for me to pick it up. Plus an extremely high pain tolerance.
@@pincel64 true, the boy is rude and badly spoiled, but not actually is in the spectrum, my niece ABSOLUTELY loves something and completely change after 6 months or so.
I still build Lego.....
Dr. Ravi is a darling... juggling just to distract Jensen from the blood being drawn
Trrrruuueeee
I think, all pediatricians are like that - having a kid in their hearts :) :) :)
The older boy is amazing I reckon he will make an engineer or something working with hands a carpenter I think with help he will go far
Lesley Allinson I what’re. He reminds me of my little cousin (he was more like a nephew to me) unfortunately he passed away unexpectedly at 13. Can’t wait to see Thomas thrive and change the world
Honestly I wouldn't hope for it. Sure, some autistic people are amazing at certain things but most I've met have a special interest that isn't really very useful for an adult.
I disagree. I’m also high-functioning autistic, as I grew up I typically kept to myself and poured my heart into building things whether it was a fort in the forest, a sand castle with its own little village, or my own lego design. In my teens I focused more on drawing and painting. I now make dentures. He can absolutely do many great things as an adult!
I should have added...BUT IT CAN BE DONE !
A you’re an idiot
The way Thomas takes everything *SO* literally reminds me of my sister, who has Asperger's. The whole family calls her "Techy Tech" not only because she's hilariously literal and technical, but also because she's really interested in computer science. It fits XD
The sad thing is nobody even wants to be friends with Thomas. If I was in his class, I’d be more than happy to be his friend.
Thomas has such an amazing father. God bless this family.
I really enjoyed this video.Thomas is just delightful young man.. so smart and I’m surprised he wasn’t diagnosed earlier .. but I’m very glad he has his own space and he should be happier now that everyone knows what’s up..
Poor Thomas , he is just reacting to a world that he doesn't understand . 💕
I wonder if theres a local Lego enthusiast club he could join? Kindred spirits.
@Shawnee Scorpion no there isnt these days im autistic too
Thomas told us that he doesn’t like noises and certain situations. He has trouble with social cues. I thought - autism. Thanks for sharing these stories! I find them extremely fascinating !
I love people in the UK genuinely and earnestly use the word "naughty"
he's a bit norty innit
Would you like a biscuit? Oh go on I'll be naughty...
lol yes we do haha
@@labrat7999 that's exactly what a teacher would say in primary school when you were upset and they let you have their biscuits
Not anymore! It’s being phased out, you see it more in lower class families. It’s against policy in lots of nurseries to use the word naughty as it’s labelling the child rather than the behaviour
So happy for Thomas's parents. Getting that diagnosis is a HUGE relief after fighting so long for support!
Are there not ASD diagnostics in the UK?
@@lindagray1809 I found an autistic book, as I call such as the following, in my local library called George and Sam. It's by a mother with 2 sons who are autistic and 1 who isn't. They live in England and the book was published in 2003, but the last time I went to the library I saw it there still. I'm not British, but since I've read that book and Daniel Isn't Talking, another autistic book, but fictional about a little boy who's autistic with an older sister who isn't, I know they got some diagnostics. This channel became known to me when a video from them was mentioned on my sidebar.
Thomas's family are doing their best and being very lovely, but their house seriously needs to be tidied. There are way too many people, pets and just THINGS everywhere. Just looking at all the messy things is making me nervous.
I was thinking along these same line - I know both parent's are busy, esp with a newish little one, but that place could have used a good tidy up. A place for everything and everything in it's place. Esp with all the ppl who live there, organization is key.
Well kids make messes and people with asd have more needs....
My son has Aspergers, he's taught me so much in life, he's amazing! Really enjoyed this, thank you for sharing :)
I have aspergers syndrome
I wish both of you a lifetime of pure happiness. I believe that people with autism and Asperger’s syndrome are extremely special people. There is a book that I’ve read about a young man with Aspergers called House Rules, written by Jodi Piccoult. I was intrigued by the character in this book. Maybe you’d both be interested. 🌸
My son has aspergers and I have always accepted him for who he is.
I'm seeing a lot of me in the kids with Asberger's syndrome. I'm almost sure I've got it. I get very explosive anger over nothing. I have major social anxiety. 90% of people my age I don't get along with at all. They usually end up bulling me. I totally shut down, and just sit and stare at nothing at all. Can do this hours at a time not moving. When my anxiety gets up I end up shutting down as well as can have a seizure. I have a lot of other things that are hand in hand with Asberger's. ADHD, OCD, ADD, are just a few of them.
So I have a cousin with Aspergers and don’t exactly know what it is, do you think you could explain it to me???
My experience with Essex County Council's assessment and support for my special needs son was 100% positive, absolutely wonderful. I couldn't rate them more highly.
When I moved to Norfolk, the exact opposite was true. Techniques were poor, old-fashioned and staff extremely biased. Things became so very bad, I reported the doctor in charge of our case and my family was forced to move in order to escape the constant intimidation and threats issued by this doctor and her inadequate team.
Oh my goodness!!! That is outrageous!!! I don’t understand how the service can vary so much from one area to the other. Don’t they all fall under the responsibility of the same minister at the national level? That is absolutely shameful!!! So sorry for you and your family!!!
Thomas just absolutely melts my heart, what a sweet & special boy he is💕
I have autism and wasn't diagnosed until this year- I'm 33 and as a child, I showed all the classic behaviours
unfortunately most of the research on autism is done on cis males so the traits that are unique to girls are less known and so girls go undiagnosed or not taken seriously
My son got his diagnosis of ASD with learning difficulties just 2 short years ago at 14 years old.
I think all staff in every school should be trained to spot behaviours that may lead to a diagnosis of Autism, A.D.H.D etc so that instead of fobbing parents off and saying, they don't believe that (which happened to us 6 years previously in a different school), that they would support the family as a whole. That way specialist support is put in place early, to give that brighter future to kids on the spectrum. My son is doing fantastic with his education now after supports have been put in place to us as a family but more importantly to him. He is attaining much better in a smaller school for children with specialist needs.
I struggled to get my ADHD diagnosis. All through school I struggled and hated class work. The teachers thought I was just slacking off in class and I spent way to many evenings arguing with my parents about my grades. Only two teachers picked up on it my year 10 science teacher and my year 11 English teacher. My science teacher picked up on the fact that I had top grade (excellence) answers and understanding but was writing them out a a fail or basic pass grade (achieved or not achieved). The way my English teacher would describe me was "hi, I'm and I've got 20 tabs open on my laptop, doing crotchet, talking and concentrating on classwork." As well as that I was incredibly impulsive. I would do things ( start making another project while there were another 3 in the corner)
In august last year I had ADHD testing done and got the results of it saying that I had ADHD. Although looking at me, most people wouldn't realize it (apart from a few twitches which happen throughout the day). My ADHD affects me more when it comes to processing info and writing tests and exams.
I whole heartedly agree that teachers need to be more aware of people with learning issues rather than just labeling them as "problematic"
As a teacher with ADHD, I do confront parents with this kind of information, but so many of them don't want to acknowledge it. I have had a 7 year old who clearly has ASD, but the father is in denial because the mother died and he thinks she babied him. He is in major denial... as are my own parents!
With me I’d avoid social situations and parties, high frequency sounds, and want to be alone a lot.
Others did bully me as well at school, but I’d find a way to get back at them for doing so
Mind used to feel a lot of things at once and be difficult to concentrate on certain things
Resulting in walking away or only doing or working on one subject
I did the same. Hate the crowd, no paties, can't hear high frequency sounds, but I do love party music, mostly avicii song. And yes I better alone
Same with me....
I relate to Thomas sooo much. Been like that my whole life but I've been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and ADHD. Tough world, I wish everyone could have the opportunity to get care like is provided to the kids in this show.
I have a 6-year-old grandson with Asperger's and is a lot like Thomas. My son and daughter-in-law knew he was different right from the start. He is highly intelligent and struggles to fit in at school but has a wonderful support group within the school, he also has anxiety about certain things and can become violent if that anxiety builds up but he also benefits so much from time with his cousins. All in all, he's a gorgeous kid.
I cannot tell you the relief I felt when I finally saw Thomas's mother smile at him at 40:42... Until that moment she had seemed almost totally detached emotionally. It was heartbreaking. When I saw how she looked at him then, I was able to exhale. I still found myself constantly wishing she would put her arm around him, or touch his hand... just attempt even some small gesture of physical connection to, and affection for, this beautiful boy she gave birth to...
@Janine M I understand what ur saying, but we have no idea what the mother has gone through or what she has/hasn’t tried in the past. Could also be anxious because there are cameras there… Also, touching or hugging someone on the spectrum may or may not be helpful, depending on their individual sensitivities.
The important thing is that the father certainly seems to be supportive, Mom is coming around and things are improving for Thomas…
I'm the only one who is thinking the mom is also on the spectrum?
Autistic children sometimes only want cuddles on their terms, sometimes my son wants cuddles sometimes not.
She was exhausted I think. Lot of love there.
Awesome families! Their love and care, will be rewarded! My granddaughter graduated last year in Child Psychology. Her desire was to understand better, the condition of her own children, who are autistic! I admire all the parents for responding to their children's needs! May you all have the victory, so deserved...
God bless! 🌹
Poor Thomas. Too many kids in the home with all those animals. Why do parents have so many kids when there's really not enough room for them to thrive? Surely it's aggravated Thomas' condition.
Doctors really need to listen and watch out for signs. Being diagnosed makes life so much easier for the child and the family
WHY dont people eat round a table with their chidren anymore?
Breast or bottle, just eat around your children and include them!
Its not Rocket Science...
Yeah, that's what I thought
I think it is down to how expected it is to have children if you're partnered up. But......not everyone finds interacting with children to be enjoyable or interesting especially when you want to eat and they're at an age where you have to assist them. You can't really focus on your own food. So a habit gets started of helping them eat and then making a separate eating time for yourself. Then when they're old enough to feed themselves, people will eat in front of the TV because children can be quite boring for some people in the same way a very intelligent adult might not enjoy hanging out with someone quite dim. I think a lot of people who don't really enjoy kids go ahead and have kids anyway.
@@ThePimmy11 As much as I wish it wasn't like this... I think I agree with you.
@@ThePimmy11 That might explain it sometimes but in this case they seem to like doing stuff with him and playing and seem really happy with him. Which makes it even weirder that he has to eat alone, and that he eats in the living room. How can he learn how to behave at a meal if no one's eating with him?
Exactly
“This is my version of jogging.”
I really freaking love that young man!
Gorgeous too!
Having gone through the same thing I could totally relate to Thomas's parents, knowing there's something not right and the long road to diagnosing it.
Yes! A documentary with a happy ending! I especially enjoy when the story is about troubled children who end up doing well!
So happy for Thomas & his family, may their journey continue to flourish😊
I have three math intelligent boys all along the austism spectrum the middle one was finally diagnosed at 18;we had seen lots of people over the years and still he was not diagnosed
My doctor told me there was no point having my son diagnosed at 14 when his teachers told me. This was NOT the right advice. After high school ended things were very difficult for my son. He was diagnosed at 18 with aspergers. It's extremely frustrating when medical professionals r wrong!
I am glad to see families who love and support their children and recognize that there is a need that is not being met and have found a way to get them the tools that will help them function and strive. What a beautiful video. It was done quite well with class and respect. I believe that it is important to educate people who are oblivious to things like this and who have no experience with things like this because they might not need to know this information but if they cross paths with someone who could benefit from it, they can relay it like a message and inevitably help someone else by passing on the information, that they otherwise may have never gotten, had this video not been made. This is brilliant. Bravo! Maybe they could supply a phone number at the end of the video for people who might like to contact someone who could point them in the right direction.
My sister was a terrible eater. Mum saw the doctor. "She's not losing weight so she's fine", said the doctor, and that was that. She's now 60 and hasn't starved to death. Take it or leave it was the 1960s ethos.
Thomas’ parents are so good! They pushed for a diagnosis and you can see how much they love their family
Urgh. I hope the GP's who were refusing to entertain the idea that Thomas had learning issues/autism weren't being bigoted about the family's working class background. If Nicola had a posh accent would she have been dismissed? I just find it strange because Thomas is so extremely textbook.
Was it working class or just West Country? (American here, so I really don't know)
Working class. Essex is a county east of London
Completely agree!
44:08 "Don't like it!"
"OK, I'll have it...(walks away)" lol
I do this to one of my dogs when he's being picky. Not that I'll eat his food, but I show him that I'm offering it to one of my other dogs. If he's still not interested, then I know he's really not feeling well.
Good Lord that mum is causing a real fuss about food. Make him a mini buffet bits of cheese slices of fruit cucumber etc. Leave it on the coffee table, put on his favourite tv show and leave him alone. Poor boy what a fuss
Even better, ditch the highchair, get a booster seat which slips on a dining chair seat, hooks over the back of a dining chair or clips to the table. They fold up very small as well so you can travel the world with them, use them anywhere.
Jen And Urwin agreed. Part of the problem is he was sill being treated like a baby. Bottles of milk like are baby formula meal replacement, pacifiers, hichair. He needs to feel like a big boy. Sippy cups, silverware, table and chair, remove the pacifier.
But why should he eat alone in front of tv? Why don‘t they have mealtime together?
@@jutta3782 hardly any families in the UK eat together at the table other than special occasions like Christmas and New Years Day. It's just an outdated tradition that's been replaced by food on the go and meals infront of the TV
Hello fellow Autistics stalking the comment section :) What are your special interests? Mine are sci fi (especially Doctor Who and the Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy;, and theatre, especially acting
I love sci fi, but more like the Trekkie part I think.
I also love to collect lighters (have no clue why, but I want them) And all the books from Stephen King.
I am obsessed with Puddles pity party and I have autism
Video games, sounds really typical for a interest. But I could write a book on the plots/history/social contexts of games just from memory. I am also into architecture and royal family trees
Building and creating
Hey good on all you guys you are just perfect the way you are !!
I wanna be friends with Thomas, we have so much in common
It is so irritating to see parents giving bottles to a child that can drink from a cup. I wonder if they are trying to keep the child a baby. Most children can hold a sippy cup by the age of 6 months. Two year old for sure don't need a bottle.
Thomas’s parents need to watch what they are saying in front of him because even though he’s autistic, he’s not stupid! I’ve worked with children who have autism and I don’t really understand why people are so upset if their child has autism. You’re always on a journey with any child and your journey with a child with autism is just a new different journey than you expected.
Little Jenson, I’ve had exactly the same problem as this family with my first child and I did the same as these parents. Thankfully mine are all successful, healthy adults now.
LOL Thomas' mum and dad actually spoke to Jo Frost in season 2 of Extreme Parental Guidance when she went on tour...
I thought I saw them at that mall on that show and how interesting was they problem the time was Thomas sleeping?
My heart broke for Thomas 😢😢 I really hope his future is a bright and happy one!
Diagnose is the first thing. His family loves him and takes care of him, and he is a bright little boy; I've lots of hope he will turn out well.
@@dudanunesbleff I really hope so 😊
They ought to mention that girls sometimes have entirely different symptoms, as the symptoms are based on boys alone. Many girls don't get their diagnosis for many years, often not until in adulthood, just like ADD/ADHD.
It's crazy that Jensen's regular pediatrician didn't refer him for allergy testing after peanut butter sent him to the emergency room at only one year old. My child's pediatrician referred him for full allergy screening just based on rashes. If he wouldn't have, I could have, on my own accord, brought him to a specialist for testing. It sounds like the medical system in Jensen's area is severely lacking.
I find it a shame it took so many years before Thomas being diagnosed. To anyone that is around children to know normal behavior would ergo see he had an underlying issue of the brain. It shouldn't have taken him being seen by specialist at age 10. by five at most he should have been tested of the doctors had given parents any trust in knowing he was behaving differently. As a nurse I work with doctors of many personalities and I find those that think because they went to medical school and a patent hasn't they know nothing. I am a huge believer in listening to the parents as they are with this child all the time, they tend to have that insight when a child isn't "normal" compared to others of the same age or along with sibling behaviour. At least now they have a place to start in getting him extra help and changing things at home so he isn't so stressed. He's a handsome young man with a very bright future ahead of him and extremely loving parents and siblings to help him along. I wish both families well
Does anyone remember Thomas' family from supernanny on the road?? They went to the shopping centre where Jo Frost gave tips. They were already asking for advice.
My son is also on the Autism Spectrum, and high functioning. Watching Thomas was just like watching my Dustin. I can tell you, once you get that diagnosis, it’s SO MUCH EASIER to handle. I still get very frustrated trying to deal with Dustin’s rigid thinking, but that is to be expected. I do not have the help I need with him, as it is difficult to get through the community. (We are in the USA, and we live in California. Since he was born in Alaska, the help is more difficult to get. He would be privy to all sorts of help, had he been born in California.) we do have a 504 plan for his school, but that was such a fight. The teachers and school psychologist don’t have enough experience with Autism to know how to treat them without shaming them for reacting in ways that “aren’t normal”. I have explained that Dustin’s reactions to being overstimulated are indeed, normal in his world. My thought and prayers are with Thomas and his family. They have a very special young man, and to have the opportunity to see the world through Thomas’s eyes is such a blessing and a true gift!
The older boy is amazing I reckon he will make an engineer or something working with hands a carpenter I think with help he will go far
Thomas is amazing with all the help he will go far 5his will make a big difference with the help
So happy to see both families get the the supportive, guided help they need for their children. ❤️
thomas breaks my heart...hes just like my two kids xx
This made my eyes fill with tears because thomas made me remember my own childhood and how I never had any friends and how all the kids were so cruel to me, I'm 28 now and i was diagnosed with aspergers when I was 26 and i finally understood so much about my life but it also made me sad that I got the diagnosis so late in life because I suffered so much thruout it i wish I could've gotten help younger
I saw Thomas family on another television show about age gap love.
omg thank you!! I KNEW they looked familiar!
Oh yeah!
Mary Jane Love YES...so did I. I just couldn’t place them. It’s a fair few kids for a man of his years. He must have the patience of a saint. But, they’re still together and I think that’s wonderful.
At times the wife looked as if she were Thomas' older sister.
What's the show called
Both of these children had wonderful, loving parents.
Thomas's dad seems much older then the mom. Like well over 20 years older.
Some kids are so lucky to have mothers who are loving and sympathetic.
Thomas' baby sister is just the cutest little thing!
My 27 year old daughter was an extremely difficult child. At the age of 17 she had a massive breakdown set off by the breakup of her first boyfriend. She eventually was seen by CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service) and diagnosed with Pure O OCD. With hindsight when I look back the signs were all there from the age of 2, but I obviously had no experience of what to look for. She did get the help she needed, but it will never go away, she just learns to manage it. The important thing is getting a diagnosis as I know people who haven’t been diagnosed until their 40’s, at which time it has been allowed to fester, become too deep seated, making it much more difficult to be treated.
My sister was 12 when she finally stopped believing in Santa, but we just let her be and live like a child.
My son would only eat a few foods when he was small. He used to smell everything and I think he genuinely couldn’t handle the taste of a lot of things. He grew out of it thankfully . My little brother was the same but mum made meals into a nightmare trying to force feed him, he grew from a tiny prem baby into a healthy 6 foot man who will eat anything and loves food!
Was never diagnosed, but I’m Thomas. I never did understand the facial expression pictures. I need to see some context, ie. , If I have the person’s words, the environment, the setting, only then can make a reasonable assessment. I was the weird kid at school who had no close friends. I played alone, and differently than the other children. I enjoyed highly inventive building, designed, and created art out of natural materials around the play yard. I liked playground equipment, but in and of itself. The main pleasure of play wasn’t social, although I felt badly because I knew I was a misfit. I was afraid my parents would find out and be angry I’d let them down. There was a great deal of shame. To compensate, I dedicated myself to solo studies and hobbies. Yet, there are some differences. I love and understand humor. What may be mistaken for rigid thinking on the surface often turns out to be revolutionary thinking for which my peers give me credit. Unlike Thomas, I didn’t have tantrums as that sort of behavior wasn’t tolerated by my Depression-era parents. I would have gotten a beating I’d not soon forget. I kept such feelings to myself as was expected.
Crowds and commotion overwhelm me. My parents, strangely, seemed not to recognize or acknowledge I was not like others my age. When the senior prom came and went, and I expressed no interest, no comment was ever made, although my mother’s friend’s teens were all abuzz with their dates, gowns, limos, after-parties... I knew no boy was going to ask me and that if one did, it would because he’d been forced into it. I had enough social awareness to realize I’d be the laughingstock even worse than I already was. So I asked my parents if we could go on a family camping trip to Connecticut that weekend, never mentioning the prom. I did the planning and packing and we had a great time, hiking with my Dad to the top of a mountain for a picnic lunch. Given my choice of a crowded, noisy social event or a hike with one friend for a picnic in nature, I’d still choose the latter in a heartbeat. I can imagine myself being friends with Thomas as adults. We’d enjoy common activities, but would maintain a certain distance between ourselves. It’s too bad society seems to have no awareness or acceptance of people like Thomas. From the late teen years on, you are expected to be either “with” a partner, or “single,” nothing in between.
I know what you mean. In other TH-cam videos, I learned that females on the autistic spectrum can often go undiagnosed when they a develop peculiar coping mechanism that could be called "Fake it until you make it". Not being able to instinctively decode other people's emotions and behaviors, we observe them, formulate "rules", then implement/"fake-it" to mimic the normal behavior. I wonder if I come under the ASD tag myself, but then again, what benefit is there now of having an official diagnosis when I've obviously adapted pretty well? Still single tho, lol.
@@SaBoTeUr2001 Are you past middle age? I'm in my sixties, still working, and I really can't complain. I may have "missed out" on the usual human pleasures of dating, parties, marriage, children, but I've gone places and done things my peers and colleagues will never experience. I belong to a "third order" Catholic religious group, (Franciscan), and have found acceptance for how God made me. Overall, I consider myself well-compensated. I've gone down "The Road Not Taken," and it has made all the difference. A diagnosis would be of no benefit to me, personally, but I'd consider it if it were part of research into ASD, to help others who are struggling. Best of luck. Marie
I feel like that too.. even now in my late 20s I'm still the weird one, have problema with social interaction, but adapted fairly well in a "Falke it till you make it"-style...
Fantastic episode. My grandson is high functioning autistic and this was helpful in understanding a lot of similar issues. Thank you.
Watching the other aspie kids reminds me of my childhood as an undiagnosed aspie
I've fallen in love with this boy! I love this program.
I think a BIG help would be to not have a tv in his bedroom! Geesh.....
also kids should not be watching TV while eating. Video games shoulod be limited (too stimulating for some kids) also addictive and obviously NO violent video games.
Thomas does not pick up on social ques.
My oldest son was a challenging child to around the age of 6. He loved causing mayhem including wanting to do the food drama but my husband and I refused to participate. He didn’t have to eat everything on his plate. He had to try a new food before refusing it. Throwing your food on the floor got him removed from the table and there was no more food until the next meal. We didn’t make a big deal about it. No chastising, yelling, or begging him to eat. We always ate dinner together as a family. When it sunk in that he would be in his room while his older and younger sisters were at the table with us, eating, talking, and laughing seeming not to miss him at all, he stopped with his food nonsense. He created more drama in other areas and we just dealt with him with firmly but with love.
Can I just say those children are fabulous little painters. So much better than I am and I am grown. 💘💘💘 this family and their support for their beloved brother and son.
I am not a medical doctor but I have taught in education for over 35 years. I can spot a student on the autism spectrum within one day. It is ridiculous that it took the family over four years to get a diagnosis and special Ed placement for their son.
It does seem to be surprising it took so long. By the age of 9 he must have had 4 or 5 different teachers, I would have thought that one might have noticed. The other children have certainly spotted something is not quite right.
Something is questionable about that family...
Loving caring parents, just want the best for their children.
Thomas's father is ancient. Studies show paternal age may increase the odds of autism in their children. Very sad, because there is a lot of that in the UK.
@Gina Davis 10 more years and he's at retirement age, 15 more years and he fits the definition for elderly. Not exactly ancient, but very close.
no way is he in his 50s, definitely over 60.
Why is it so sad to be autistic? Apart from people being annoying regarding my sensory needs, meltdowns, and executive functioning problems it hasn't been as terrible as some people make it out to be for me at least
@@carryonmywaywardsam7513 I think it's just because people still don't fully understand it.
@@selobee4831 Yeah I know, it's just annoying when people think my existence is a bad or sad thing. There's just so much misinformation out there.
I saw Thomas as an astrophysicist stationed on the top of a mountain observing the stars. Or as a lecturer on a brilliant subject that interests him
I have always felt sick after eating foods that break down to sugars breads and pastas candy and such. My daughter is the very same we eat proteins fats veggies fruit and yoghurt. Jensen threw away anything bread related but readily ate the veggies and chicken...
As a mom of two now teenagers if I have learned anything it is to trust your gut when it comes to your kiddos and push until you find somebody to help. Both of my kids would have died as toddlers had i not taken this to advice to heart from those with much more wisdom than myself.
Thomas’s dad has to be at least in his 60s.
maybe he is, maybe he isn't; how is that at all relevant to anything?
Love is Love
Older men have babies who have health problems. My dad was 63 when my brother was born. My mom was 36. MY brother was born with a heart defect and mental defect as well as short stature. Just because a man can impregnate a woman doesn't mean he should.
@@sharynkoren2744 i totally agree. We have family friends who had a boy/girls twins at 49. One twin is very intelligent and functions perfectly normally. The boy twin is on par with a 2 year old and is nonverbal autistic. Their doctors warned them of their increased risk to have children with mental or physical disabilities. They are overly stressed out 24/7 and their autistic child is becoming to large to control and violent.
He's 92
Thomas' baby sister is a-frikkin-dorable.
Suuuper adorable!!!
I totally agree!! She looks like a little doll 😍
I need a Dr Ravi in my life, he’s amazing!
Thomas is just like my little brother. He had so many behavioral issues at home and school and it took 13 years to get an autism diagnosis. I wish we got it sooner.