How (and why) I made Daisy Brown

แชร์
ฝัง
  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น •

  • @Kingsly9802
    @Kingsly9802 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7324

    Daisy Brown is about the monsters we made along the way.

    • @harley_bear1618
      @harley_bear1618 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Yes

    • @lavenderhuman
      @lavenderhuman 3 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      @@harley_bear1618 maybe the real Daisy Brown were the friends we made along the way

    • @fries5849
      @fries5849 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      @@lavenderhuman maybe the real brown daisy were friends we along way the

    • @Random-rv3us
      @Random-rv3us 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Pls is this referencing Gabbie Hanna ?💀

    • @ZombieGuy2401
      @ZombieGuy2401 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      And the ones that fell apart after

  • @DavidMChannel
    @DavidMChannel 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6591

    dying at "ALAN IS A METAPHOR!! THAT'S WHY HE DOESN'T POOP!!!"
    Thank you so much for this, I really love this story, thank you for answering these.

    • @magickaldust1213
      @magickaldust1213 3 ปีที่แล้ว +52

      "cuff me boys" had me cackling

    • @DarwinskiYT
      @DarwinskiYT 3 ปีที่แล้ว +47

      Metaphors don’t poop but they do eat cats

    • @waynecomeaux8611
      @waynecomeaux8611 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Strawberry :(

    • @TheCow-j1l
      @TheCow-j1l 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      To be fair, I don't know many characters that poop...
      like, I know some characters that go to the bathroom, but how can we know that they go there to poop?

    • @CaptainAwsome
      @CaptainAwsome 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      i guess that means Alan is full of shit

  • @bweebi
    @bweebi 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5889

    Yo, I didn’t know you were behind Daisy Brown AND Nettlebrook!! And you made Daisy Brown at 19?!? Purely out of spite!?! Absolutely fucking incredible. You have an amazing talent for this kind of content.

    • @myshreksbox
      @myshreksbox 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      How did you not know about nettlebrook? She's the main actress in it

    • @cranberryjuice3998
      @cranberryjuice3998 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      ok but... your pfp.. bweebi... i love how well they go together.

    • @charlieplaysgames541
      @charlieplaysgames541 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@myshreksboxbye it’s not there fault I also didn’t know they just didn’t know don’t be rude

    • @LenixxlindsayAndMelodyMelissa
      @LenixxlindsayAndMelodyMelissa 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      You tricked @DJLovesTurbo 😂

    • @Veshremy_fan1725
      @Veshremy_fan1725 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@LenixxlindsayAndMelodyMelissalol

  • @Paradee477
    @Paradee477 2 ปีที่แล้ว +500

    I personally like the “dead dad” ending. Because he would have been SO CLOSE to being able to at least START making it up to his daughter, and yet, he’d never be able to. So close, yet always out of reach. And Daisy just stepping over/on his corpse? Perfection.

    • @BrenAsh-c7k
      @BrenAsh-c7k 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      BnvdZ

    • @valentinemiller8680
      @valentinemiller8680 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I know this is a two year old comment, but I wanted to second this comment, I too prefer the Dead Dad ending! The idea that he came so close to beginning to make things right but fell victim to the very things he created during his mistreatment feels like a sad but somewhat satisfying ending? In the end he was a monster, and his monstrosity consumed him, just in a very literal sense with his creations killing him. Maybe he did want to make it up to Daisy, but in the end he still had to answer for what he did, and it resulted in his death.

  • @Bonklyboi
    @Bonklyboi 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +180

    Seeing her just holding baby Alan feels fucking crazy to me. Daisy Brown was so mysterious that just seeing him and her explaining so plainly feels insane.

  • @jonnyb.animationstutorials7119
    @jonnyb.animationstutorials7119 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1976

    I always thought Curtis Brown left daisy because he knew he was a terrible person, and father. Now that I know the 2 Canonical endings, I believe he was killed in the basement by one of his creations. It's a sad ending, but it makes the most sense to me. What makes it even sadder is when Daisy has a breakdown, wondering why he left her, because he didn't leave her. His remains are still in the basement.

    • @julesdapper5584
      @julesdapper5584  3 ปีที่แล้ว +658

      these are my two canon endings, but if your ending is your truth, then it's your truth, baby! there's nothing wrong with that!

    • @jonnyb.animationstutorials7119
      @jonnyb.animationstutorials7119 3 ปีที่แล้ว +230

      @@julesdapper5584 Ngl the tape he left for daisy made me cry lol. I think Curtis dying makes the most sense because, after the tape he made, It doesn't make sense to me that'd he'd leave her to die in the house.

    • @jimbomyboy9679
      @jimbomyboy9679 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      @@julesdapper5584 Just curious, how did Daisy miss his body (in that ending obviously)?

    • @speeklymaeve
      @speeklymaeve 3 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      @@jimbomyboy9679 hed probably be very very decomposed at that point, i forget how long ago daisy was left without him but it was when she was a child i think. assuming he died when she was 10, 9 years later he would probably be a skeleton and his bones would have been consumed by his creations

    • @marcsuraci7759
      @marcsuraci7759 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I think Curtis left because he realized how abusive he was and feared that Daisy would get hurt the more he was present in her life. Maybe he was monitoring her videos and maybe he was the one who sent Daisy the flowers in the video where Alan talks for the first time

  • @ieggsavior
    @ieggsavior 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4251

    If you don’t call the video of you making the monster “Alantutorial” I will do absolutely nothing.

    • @thoj1759
      @thoj1759 3 ปีที่แล้ว +81

      That is an amazing idea

    • @MinatheRaichu
      @MinatheRaichu 3 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      I'd cry inside

    • @nicolestewart2843
      @nicolestewart2843 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      But actually.... Yes. This must be done. Do it. Peer pressure is a bitch. In this case tho.... JUST DO IT!

    • @skyco5395
      @skyco5395 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      still waiting for an alan diy

    • @pinkfedoras
      @pinkfedoras 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I TO, will do absolutely nothing, so go make it plz

  • @creepyspookyicky
    @creepyspookyicky 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1989

    I'm 52 yrs old, I've been into ARGs since I played the Blair Witch one as it was happening in real time.
    Daisy Brown touched me like very few things ever have in my life. ❤️
    It came at the perfect time for me (my extremely absent, abusive, talented Dad had just died after a horrible illness & sucking me back into contact with him after many yrs of staying the hell away for my own mental health)
    The story gave me feels like I can't describe.
    Thank you for this, Jules❣️
    Thank you so fucking much.

    • @creepyspookyicky
      @creepyspookyicky 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      @dormie basne HAHA!! I'm old lol.
      It was SCARY lol.
      I was living alone in an old Victorian house between a creek, a park, the woods & the train tracks & working nights in a bar coming home at 3am & getting right online to watch ghost cams & fool around with Blair witch stuff. It was spooky!! & A LOT of fun!!
      & Thank you for the condolences for my dad❣️

    • @patriciajin6206
      @patriciajin6206 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      That cool

    • @creepyspookyicky
      @creepyspookyicky 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @dormie basne
      exactly!! I used to watch the (pretty well known) ghost cam in a library & one that a girl had set up in her (IIRC) NYC apartment w cams in a couple old trunks & inside the platform her bed was set up on bc those places seemed to have the most activity. I don't think I ever rly saw anything but OMG was it scary & so much fun to not know what would possibly happen!!
      The Blair Witch site was so incredibly interactive, it was CRAZY!! I don't think any of us who played had ever experienced anything like that before.
      Once the guys realized we were obsessively combing thru EVERYTHING, they started doing stuff like adding messages into the HTML (common now but back then, it was mind blowing!!)& making the ARG story as we went along. We knew it wasn't 'real' but it was so much fun & genuinely creepy.
      I made an 'ate my balls' fan page (LOL it was a thing back then)
      en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ate_my_balls
      with all the names of the producers/cast/directors & they sent me an autographed poster!!
      Daisy Brown tho hmmmm idk how to explain it exactly. So many of the first videos were stuff I watched anyway like succulent plant videos, cooking tutorials, nail art, cosmetics videos & when I looked at her subscriptions, I subbed to many of the same channels she did so getting sucked in was EASY for me, not to mention the incredibly compelling story she was weaving little by little. I've messed around with many ARGs (the AI movie one was probably the biggest bc I missed out on the Batman one where they sent ppl stuff like cakes with phones in them & crazy shit like that) but Daisy's story touched me like nothing else ever has & I'm a huge media consumer: books, movies, music, magazines, internet. Literally only one other thing has ever done that for me: the book CRUDDY by Lynda Barry. If u can find it, I can't rec it highly enough. It's amazing!!!
      There were a few times where I legit wondered if Daisy was a real person with a severe mental illness & was making these videos bc she truly thought Alan was real or what. Jules acting was EFFORTLESS & so genuine, you couldn't help yourself getting wrapped up in it.
      (Also, bc I'm hard of hearing, I was watching w the CC on from the beginning so I was getting that other level of the story right off the bat. I think that might have helped with the immersion)
      I know I was particularly emotionally vulnerable at the time but I've watched the whole series again several times & there's so much you can get from it on so many levels. It speaks to so many issues in such a real way.
      I was afraid for a while that it would end with Daisy committing suicide & I think my heart would have broken if that happened. I'm so glad it didn't.
      I could talk about the series all day but I should go do my dishes lol.
      Jules, if u read this, I'm not a crazy fan, just a crazy fan LOL. & Thank you again. Yr artwork helped me thru a very shitty time in my life💚👾💚

    • @goatman4572
      @goatman4572 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      HAHA OLD

    • @selcouth444
      @selcouth444 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      damn u older than my parents

  • @swimmyswim417
    @swimmyswim417 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +113

    I came for the creepy book reviews and just now found out that you’re behind one of my favorite pieces of online horror media ever.
    15:28 This is hilarious 😂 because the most unrealistic detail of Daisy Brown isn’t the monsters living in her home, but the fact that those monsters don’t have the same biological systems as normal animals do.

  • @xath3nax
    @xath3nax 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +51

    WAIT A DAMN MINUTE. I found you for your review on The Playground but you MADE DAISY BROWN? That shit was so popular and bonkers to me! I loved it!!

    • @Revieee
      @Revieee 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

      SAME I am bamboozled

  • @gracebarber4496
    @gracebarber4496 3 ปีที่แล้ว +511

    Big Alan’s character and acting was amazing! To this day i can remember how chilling his voice was when saying, “Wheres dad DaisYYYY?!”

    • @Jabalaba47
      @Jabalaba47 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Yeah I love my boy shadow the hedgehog mereged with the two ladies who smoked from the simpsons

    • @Koi-hi2gf
      @Koi-hi2gf 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Amenord2015 L + ratio

    • @autisticaxolotlponies
      @autisticaxolotlponies ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Honestly his first words freaked me the fuck "It's fine I got it" Acting normal? It's fucking scary

  • @SuperSara924
    @SuperSara924 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3597

    Do you still have your Lithop puppet as well? Also please tell your cousin they did a beautiful job bringing her to life 🖤

    • @RunRabbitRUNRABBIT
      @RunRabbitRUNRABBIT 3 ปีที่แล้ว +66

      Oh I forgot about Lithop! I plan to watch Inside a Minds video on Daisy Brown and the videos for Daisy Brown since it's been so long

    • @swagmaster5103
      @swagmaster5103 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      The real question we should ask is where is Alan? Did he get left behind? Did he fake his death or is the beast still dead or has he been trying to find daisy for years

    • @chloeschronicals1020
      @chloeschronicals1020 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      @@swagmaster5103 daisy killed him in one of the last episodes

    • @swagmaster5103
      @swagmaster5103 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@chloeschronicals1020 but...is he really dead?

    • @irisaferg2524
      @irisaferg2524 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@swagmaster5103 yes

  • @sarahfreakinlynn
    @sarahfreakinlynn 3 ปีที่แล้ว +619

    The sad ending hit me like a truck, the image of Daisy walking over her dads corpse is just so sad. Especially with the addition of him wanting to make amends with her it's just,, *chefs kiss*

    • @craneisthename
      @craneisthename 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @Aaron Murray he died in the basement

    • @sarahfreakinlynn
      @sarahfreakinlynn 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Aaron Murray 12:44

    • @alexliddell3171
      @alexliddell3171 3 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      I just had a horrible thought. We don't really know how all these creations survived that long down in the basement, there's limited water & I'm guessing no prepared sugar that Alan gets fed so... maybe one of the reasons the body was unrecognisable to Daisy was that it had... parts gone.
      They are part-plant after all, plants need fertilizer to survive if they don't have much of their regular food sources.

    • @sarahfreakinlynn
      @sarahfreakinlynn 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@alexliddell3171 Oh my God you're so right!!!

    • @lpstigerlily8506
      @lpstigerlily8506 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@alexliddell3171wait there was a body down there?

  • @dripdropyt
    @dripdropyt 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

    Oh man, I didn’t know this video existed.
    Daisy Brown is art, by definition. It’s an expression of pure, unrestrained, raw emotion, and it absolutely shows. Even rewatching it now, that is more than apparent. It’s uncomfortable, it’s real, it’s terrifying, and it’s awe inspiring. I could ramble on, but there’s only so many ways to say thank you. Daisy Brown is one of my favorite internet horror stories, and it’s an inspiration to us growing content creators to step it up a notch.

  • @fartyparty45
    @fartyparty45 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    “People are gonna laugh at you”
    *ended up becoming really famous for an extremely interesting+amazing story*

  • @afreshloafofgarlicbread6307
    @afreshloafofgarlicbread6307 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3134

    Your story about Big Alan “decomposing” reminds me of that one elaborate sans undertale mask i made in 2016 that now lies decaying on a shelf in my room- a decapitated, rotten visage of sans constantly watching my every move like the eyes of TJ Eckleberg’s billboard in the great gatsby
    edit: here it is th-cam.com/video/eWMKaOq_p6I/w-d-xo.html

  • @simonantonehie6392
    @simonantonehie6392 3 ปีที่แล้ว +984

    As a puppet builder I can confirm that they do sometimes just randomly start to decompose, it's because of the sweat or what the material you used was or both
    (RIP to my boi Chess who's just slowly turning to mush in my shed because I can't bring myself to throw him away)

    • @MinatheRaichu
      @MinatheRaichu 3 ปีที่แล้ว +83

      Decompose gracefully Chess

    • @KamenriderCrusher
      @KamenriderCrusher 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      That's so fucking scary jdhdjdhd,

    • @thegreedyworm3120
      @thegreedyworm3120 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      maybe dry him up with salt? idk if it works with puppets but it works on dead animals

    • @yippeeflowers
      @yippeeflowers 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@thegreedyworm3120 that's really not any decent way of preventing rot in an animal you're trying to preserve.

    • @thegreedyworm3120
      @thegreedyworm3120 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@yippeeflowers works fer me eheheh

  • @4threset251
    @4threset251 3 ปีที่แล้ว +485

    Your look makes me think of a goth woman who mysteriously never seems to age who's husband died under mysterious circumstances. You now live with your equally goth girlfriend in a haunted mansion on a hill and it turns out you were secretly a vampire.
    Thank you for Daisy Brown though, it's incredible that you came up with it at such a young age!

    • @TheAce736
      @TheAce736 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @Ty The Great talents take time to develop. Time younger people have had less of. It's more impressive to do something with a limited quantity of a necessary resource.

    • @TheAce736
      @TheAce736 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @Ty The Great it is. Literally every Olympian, famous musician, artist, world record holder etc (essentially anyone considered impressive by any reasonable metric) invested an atypical amount of time into developing their impressive skill or talent. Regardless of rate or improvement over time or the capacity to carry over other skills which are still factors in talent, the necessary time investment itself is part of what makes feats of skills impressive. A mediocre drawing on someone's first try is less impressive than a great one after years of practice, even if it would take a while for some other person to reach that level of mediocrity.
      You're full of shit.

    • @TheAce736
      @TheAce736 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @Ty The Greatyou are wrong by all definitions of the term excluding your own misguided one and that of as few other errant strangers that are likely such a small portion of the population as to make such a definition totally useless in communication. For all intents and purposes you're wrong and no longer using the English language. Feel free to repeat yourself but know the meaninglessness of what you say.

    • @TheAce736
      @TheAce736 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Ty The Great that which can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence.

    • @TheAce736
      @TheAce736 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Ty The Great "you have to stretch the definitions to the point of meaninglessness for that to be true" is more of an argument than "no" hypocrite.

  • @echocourtouke
    @echocourtouke 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    i've never heard of daisy brown but I still watched the entire video because of how passionate you were. this has inspired me to keep working on a storyline album that's been in the works for 3 years now

    • @julesdapper5584
      @julesdapper5584  3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      thank you this means a lot! Keep working on what you love, I'd love to hear what you make!

    • @echocourtouke
      @echocourtouke 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@julesdapper5584 aw no problem! It might be a while before it comes out. The music videos will be animations with layers and Easter eggs. Only problem is I don't know how to animate. Theres a lot to do, but its all for fun so who cares lol

  • @danielsuraci1001
    @danielsuraci1001 2 ปีที่แล้ว +96

    We watched this with my twitch chat and we all loved it. Thank you so much for making Daisy Brown.
    They say:
    "she is amazing"
    "her nails are fire"
    "nice mommy goth look"
    "we are all potatoes"
    "Can she take over hollywood"
    "if i have to grow up, I want to be just like her"
    "we love alan" (the puppet not the non-pooping metaphor)

    • @julesdapper5584
      @julesdapper5584  2 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      OMFGGGG that actually means a lot

    • @Venomzaine
      @Venomzaine 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@julesdapper5584 Alan is fucking dead fuck yeah

  • @calzadomestica
    @calzadomestica 3 ปีที่แล้ว +887

    Daisy Brown was an extremely well written and produced experience, I can’t wait to see what you do next. This video also really motivated me to start working on an old project of mine, thanks a bunch.

    • @just-a-me1168
      @just-a-me1168 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Make sure to show us the result when you finish

  • @maggiemontgomery6667
    @maggiemontgomery6667 3 ปีที่แล้ว +582

    I discovered Daisy Brown shortly after my dad’s death. We had a really complicated and difficult relationship. I felt really numb after he died, but Daisy Brown gave me an outlet for my grief. It meant so much to me. I’m so glad you decided to spite your ex and tell your story. Thanks for everything ❤️

  • @joshhale9355
    @joshhale9355 3 ปีที่แล้ว +784

    That’s so shitty to tell someone you’re dating or even just care about that this idea you’ve poured your heart into is stupid and you’ll be laughed at. That’s not honest constructive criticism, that’s just being callous.

    • @adenowirus
      @adenowirus 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Doesn't seem like it was mean spirited, more like "You're obviously enthusiastic about that, but remember there are people who will make fun of you for doing that".

    • @Abigsnails
      @Abigsnails 3 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      @@adenowirus Still, even if you think that people will laugh you should NOT lead with that - especially if you care about the other person's emotions

    • @adenowirus
      @adenowirus 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@Abigsnails Yes of course you have to be careful when talking about stuff like that. Nonetheless I think you should at some point make sure that the person working on such big and personal project is aware that not everyone is going to like it and there will always be detractors. You just have to be tactful about all that.

    • @BelindaShort
      @BelindaShort 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Been through that. I've been working on a project for years now and it's so hard when people don't understand or they call things stupid

  • @HannahTheHorrible
    @HannahTheHorrible 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    you're my hero! they don't make ARGs like this anymore. It's classic and beautiful.

  • @melantaly
    @melantaly 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Wow, it's weird coming to see this video after how long it's been sense ive seen daisy brown. Ive just got to say, Im so glad your spite pushed you to make Daisy Brown. The story always managed to stay in the back of my mind, no matter how fuzzy the details got for me. It inspired me to make my own story, loosely based off of it. Thank you so much!

  • @emmaesta9444
    @emmaesta9444 3 ปีที่แล้ว +310

    The thought of Big Alan on the top shelf of your closet is absolutely fucking terrifying and i love it

  • @sabresister
    @sabresister 3 ปีที่แล้ว +669

    “It’s about the horror of realizing that you’re worthy of forgiveness” Ma’am I was not reADY 😭

  • @fernfossils
    @fernfossils 3 ปีที่แล้ว +188

    daisy brown is so important to me. its helped me not only learn that abuse isint my fault, but daisy herself as a character is so much like me and seeing her life is heartbreaking. the arg is such a comfort to me and ive watched it so many times

  • @here_for_the_Chaos
    @here_for_the_Chaos 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    This series scared the ever loving shit out of me and made me swear off horror for months because I would see Alan just looming at the end of the hall everytime I turned my lights off. This is the highest compilent I can give, i love your work and am happy to see you are doing a bit better!

  • @prettycringey
    @prettycringey 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This is one of the only ARGs that I would adore a fully fledged movie for because there’s so much mystery and lore that can be pieced together to make a coherent story.

  • @nyazz4122
    @nyazz4122 3 ปีที่แล้ว +340

    You're so cool, I may have come here for daisy brown but I'm staying for you ✨

  • @jessiecorvus9262
    @jessiecorvus9262 3 ปีที่แล้ว +124

    I was absolutely OBSESSED with Daisy brown. I heavily related to my own grief at the loss of an unhealthy parent, and recovering from an abusive relationship and the complicated feelings of that. My heart SOARED when Daisy won her freedom from Alan. Thank you for creating this beautiful, powerful, absolutely weird, piece of art.

    • @zmbwlf6288
      @zmbwlf6288 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes thank you

  • @magickaldust1213
    @magickaldust1213 3 ปีที่แล้ว +343

    ✨ Motivated by spite ✨ is a mood

  • @MommiesMilkers47
    @MommiesMilkers47 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I remember being a lot younger than I am now and being terrified by the series and locking myself in my bathroom to feel safe watching the rest 😭😭😭

  • @rhutabaga420
    @rhutabaga420 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I thought the acting in Daisy Brown was so very well done. Alan could have looked like anything and the whole thing would still be somehow believable because Daisy seemed so real to me.

  • @madib.2669
    @madib.2669 3 ปีที่แล้ว +553

    I spent about 7 hours watching and rewatching the basement episode because I had eaten like a whole pan of edibles and I just became OBSESSED with it and just kept watching

  • @misterdewott8766
    @misterdewott8766 3 ปีที่แล้ว +243

    I LOVE the energy that Julia has. She's soooo much fun

  • @REALCryptidChasers
    @REALCryptidChasers 3 ปีที่แล้ว +189

    As a young ARG/unfiction creator, I really appreciate the advice, and I really loved Daisy Brown as a series. Your creative potential is honestly overwhelming, and I can't wait to see what Nettlebrook has in store for the future. Also, you totally pulled off the "goth mommy" look BAHHAH

  • @Amethyst_Alien
    @Amethyst_Alien ปีที่แล้ว +3

    2 years later from this video, and I still go back through the series and this interview. Love Jules on her own even more so. 6 years... and a huge impact.
    ...so...that tutorial lol

  • @Minerveestar
    @Minerveestar 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I really like how the story came together. It was heartwarming near the end with Daisy and Lithop starting over together. You are amazing at storytelling, and someday I hope you make a continuation or a prequel in the form of a book of some kind.

  • @katiemcdonald547
    @katiemcdonald547 3 ปีที่แล้ว +828

    Alan has literally been an inside joke for my friend group for 3 years😂 our healthy friend tried to make blueberry health muffins (they tasted awful) and they were a bright blue color so we called them “Alan muffins”. To this day we still have the Alan inside joke. The whole series was a ✨✨masterpiece✨✨

    • @Jusachi21
      @Jusachi21 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      U cringy

    • @lengovanatalia
      @lengovanatalia 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@Jusachi21 have you ever had friends?

    • @Jusachi21
      @Jusachi21 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@lengovanatalia You get off the subject lol, why are you talking about friends XD?
      Dumb people are so funny

    • @lengovanatalia
      @lengovanatalia 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@Jusachi21 they're talking about an inside joke in their friend group and you just say you're cringy. Go touch grass

    • @Jusachi21
      @Jusachi21 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@lengovanatalia but is cringy lol,she used that stypid "✨✨✨" thats so cringy

  • @g.p.2006
    @g.p.2006 3 ปีที่แล้ว +131

    daisy brown is to this day one of my favorite alternate reality stories. i cant wait for how youll develop the nettlebrook story. if it turns out anything like daisy brown its gonna be something that will be remembered for years.
    also i cant believe youre a capricorn youre so cheery lol /j

    • @the-experiment
      @the-experiment 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Some of my favorite args are daisy brown, pizza time pizza, cloverField and seventybroad (may seventybroad series get its last episodes)
      Edit: and I forgot the “sky has vanished” arg

  • @chalk9782
    @chalk9782 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1233

    Baby Alan is honestly really cute to me, too bad he turned into a sleep paralysis demon

  • @clumsybugg
    @clumsybugg 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I saw a little familiar looking monster in the background of your video and I had an immediate thought of "I've seen this before, where have I seen this doll before?" Then coming across this video, I immediately remembered I saw the Daisy Brown videos years ago. I've always been very fascinated with the story and watching channels trying to explain or give their theories on the whole thing. I'm happy you decided to let spite take control, and I'm happy I get to hear about it from the creator!

  • @OkamiWSDwarrior
    @OkamiWSDwarrior 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Solid advice. I just found out about the Daisy Brown series and devoured it all in a day. As an artist myself and a CSA/trauma survivor with an abusive father, I am was very touched by your work.
    Also your mentioning of self doubt is so relatable. I understand the ‘doing it for your character(s)/world’ so so deeply. Thank you, this really inspired me.

  • @ethanhong5466
    @ethanhong5466 3 ปีที่แล้ว +100

    I’ve literally been searching for about an hour typing in “blue alien baby vlogger arg” tryna find the og arg but now that I found this video it makes it sm better, one of the best and most deep “args” on yt to this day, love the story and symbolism and how u made it so well with such little resources

    • @dawidek4267
      @dawidek4267 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      "blue alien baby vlogger arg" sounds funny

  • @allisonfields3108
    @allisonfields3108 3 ปีที่แล้ว +56

    "Tell a story you love so much that quitting is impossible" literally changed my life and the way I persue my goals.

  • @kellyalves756
    @kellyalves756 3 ปีที่แล้ว +206

    I think you have a “ Stockard Channing in her 1982 Vogue interview “ vibe going on, which is way better than Goth Mommy, imo.

  • @dolowres
    @dolowres 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you so much for making daisy brown. You’re an inspiration. Seriously, thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

  • @BluGuyMyco
    @BluGuyMyco 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Your series actually left a profound impact on me in a good way.

  • @optikaros
    @optikaros 3 ปีที่แล้ว +73

    i honestly think your "sad" ending for the father is better than what i concluded, which was that he committed suicide from being so overwhelmed at not being able to create his wife and instead these horrific monsters, and left the tape there as a suicide note. he didnt want to completely leave her, so he left part of his dna in alan as a "rebirth" to be better to her, which obviously didnt work.
    if i had to choose i would go with him being killed by his monsters rather than him leaving, but i'm sticking to my version because it makes me understand the narrative that i see better.
    i loved alan's death though, there's something funny about thinking about him exploding

  • @maemirabell5570
    @maemirabell5570 3 ปีที่แล้ว +89

    I´m just on the edge of my seat for everything you put out. I love Daisy Brown so much although Alan gives me Nightmares. The Story was very intense for me and I still think about it from time to time.
    Art is a special way to connect with others. Especially for me as an Autitistic Person. I can just vibe with it.
    Thank you for putting your Heart and your Feelings out there! Much Love to you and your loved ones!

  • @dog8438
    @dog8438 3 ปีที่แล้ว +86

    The two seperate endings for daisy's dad are both really cool. I like that there's two of them so it's still up in up in the air to me

  • @lavacakez
    @lavacakez 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    the whole Daisy Brown story was being uploaded while I was going through similar shit in my life, so on top of it being just entertaining, it was also kinda cathartic to watch in a weird way and helped me through some shit, and I can't thank you enough for that
    btw you nailed the goth vibe :)

  • @mr.dalerobinson
    @mr.dalerobinson 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    this is why YT is so hot right now.. Authenticity is such a rarity in corporate media, but we all seek it, its innate to our 'spidey senses.
    A story told for the sake of establishing a character arc of the protagonist and author, played out in RT!
    I wish i experienced these ARG social events as they happened, but at least I got to appreciate the art of it all.
    Kudos! You done some good cultural mythology!

  • @sleepysmartboy6287
    @sleepysmartboy6287 3 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    As somebody who grew up in a restrictive and isolating household I related a lot to Daisy Brown. And I found the channel around the same time that I left my home for the first time for college and that kind of shock sort of hit me. It was a nice reminder that the world is strange but nobody is alone in it.

  • @cookiedough7660
    @cookiedough7660 3 ปีที่แล้ว +156

    “You know why you’re here”
    Me who’s never heard of this or seen this: *are you sure about that?*

    • @WildHeart378
      @WildHeart378 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Me who doesn’t know what Daisy brown is: *same*

    • @ladypinetree1820
      @ladypinetree1820 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@WildHeart378 I third that. Praise the Algorithm!

    • @Snail_kids
      @Snail_kids 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Fourth I was confused

    • @kkeio
      @kkeio 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I fifth that, I don't know what is this but I am now concerned and curious about this.

    • @areyoulostbabygorl231
      @areyoulostbabygorl231 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      If you guys wanna learn about it, I’d highly recommend watching ‘inside a mind’s video

  • @paigejohnson2999
    @paigejohnson2999 3 ปีที่แล้ว +68

    Daisy is frankly one of the best pieces of media I've consumed in like the last 5 years. Also I had to watch it twice back to back because my dumb ass didn't turn on the captions the first watch through

  • @nostalgia5031
    @nostalgia5031 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I have been searching for Daisy Brown since I first watched it years ago. I'm so happy I found it again, and it was just as great as I remember before :)

  • @sk3llyb0nes
    @sk3llyb0nes 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I saw the first Daisy Brown video around the time it came out, but I didnt realize it was going to be a series. I found it last year and watched the whole thing TWICE in one night. It is, by far, my FAVORITE series. Its AMAZING!!

  • @maybemaddy407
    @maybemaddy407 3 ปีที่แล้ว +41

    my friend talked about how daisy brown terafied her and how bad it was but i watched it and it gave me a sense of comfort and understanding of people and has helped me accept my mom which has been a huge battle so thankyou because daisy brown helped me so much i cant even put it into words

  • @madi7178
    @madi7178 3 ปีที่แล้ว +63

    Honestly hearing about how Big Alan still terrifies you makes me feel so much better about being absolutely horrified by Big Alan to this day myself.

  • @Dilemma998
    @Dilemma998 3 ปีที่แล้ว +64

    "it's called method acting, sweaty, look it up" SENT ME

  • @StarvinMarvin828
    @StarvinMarvin828 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The fact you did this all by yourself is what has blown me away the most, usually it takes a team of people to do what you have done, i'm very upset I was super duper late to this video but now watching it. It wants to inspire me to make my own thing someday, so thank you for making such a wonderful series!

  • @TalexTheLich
    @TalexTheLich 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    i wacthed daisy brown since around the middle of the story and loved it all. now that i hear the story behind it all i just want to say (even if its never seen by you). im proud of you. You did something when everyone else said you couldn't and that takes strength. I hope you can be proud of what amazing things you have made friend :)

  • @liulfrmcshane
    @liulfrmcshane 3 ปีที่แล้ว +63

    It's so wonderful that you've made this explanatory video. Daisy Brown felt, to me, like a really important page-turn in a certain type of media, and it was overall an amazing creation.

  • @austinberry5696
    @austinberry5696 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    Daisy Brown is one of the only horror webseries I actually finished by myself because I was so into the story. I'm usually a coward, so I try and avoid anything horror related but the mystery, secret messages, and most importantly the story kept me going with each episode, and never watching an analysis until I finished the very last episode. Amazing work!

  • @chantolove
    @chantolove 3 ปีที่แล้ว +87

    Realism: Oh, shit, he’s got magic? How is that possible?!
    Magical Realism: Oh, shit, he’s got magic? We don’t have anything to fight magic!

  • @hoyitsmiguel
    @hoyitsmiguel 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I had totally forgotten about Daisy Brown since it's been a while because of the channels that covered it (a la the Nexpo/Reignbot/Night Mind channels etc.) , but it did leave its mark! This totally came up in my recommendations randomly and brought me back to the series, but I'm glad to hear about Alan and other miscellaneous things like perspective and inspiration, always an interesting thing to learn about and I think you did a good job with how Daisy Brown ended

  • @katya4271
    @katya4271 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Dude i know this video is years old but ive been obsessed with your disturbing book reviews and i decided to scroll back. I watched daisy brown when i was a pre teen and it inspired me so much to create and was the first "arg" story i was really in love with. I want to just say that your past work and your channel are just so unique and thank you for sparking my love of internet horrors. (So crazy to me i watched you for so long and just now found this video)

  • @crabbypattyy
    @crabbypattyy 3 ปีที่แล้ว +82

    “ALAN IS A METAPHOR!! THATS WHY HE DOESN’T POOP”

  • @sirbeary6438
    @sirbeary6438 3 ปีที่แล้ว +41

    Alan was one of the first things I drew when I started digital art, thanks for making the series :)

  • @Nirax3
    @Nirax3 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    "it's about the horror of realizing that you're worthy of forgiveness, whether you've committed a crime or not"
    ... I'm crying like a baby. I've never interacted with Daisy Brown the way you're supposed to with ARGs. But let me just say thank you. For making these series' but also and especially for making this video, which takes a different kind of courage. Thank you for sharing your stories, thoughts and experiences, thank you for making me feel understood.
    Bless your kind soul.

  • @megasonikega
    @megasonikega 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I dont want to lore/trauma dump and my writing has never been that good when trying to do this sort of thing but I wanted to say a few words about how much I love Daisy Brown and how it has impacted my life without getting too specific
    I discovered daisy brown when I was fairly young, i had always loves creepy and macabre themes and imagery (my favorite author has always shifted between lovecraft and edgar allen poe since I was probably younger than 8?). I think i found your series through Night Mind's video on it in 2018 and had always felt a sort of connection to it. I had always knew to some extent that myself and my family werent exactly normal, and while im happy to say that its better than the majority; I had to grow up pretty fast, looking back I wish i had more time to just be a child.
    When I found Daisy Brown i believe I had been diagnosed with depression for about 3 years despite only being 11-10 years old. At the time I was coming to terms with the fact I would never be a normal kid without really knowing what that even meant.
    Daisy Brown helped me feel like I wasn't alone. I'm not even sure how. But i remember seeing it and despite being a little scared of the creature designs, I remember relating to Daisy in a way I don't think I could ever concisely describe.
    I've never been good at conclusions or goodbyes, so I wanted to Thank you; Thank you for creating this beautiful and touching piece of horror media; Thank you for being Daisy Brown, and Thank you for helping me feel a little less alone.

  • @mochasucculent
    @mochasucculent 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I first started getting into online horror in 2021 when I was doing late night crunch sessions for months on end for a grueling job (I'm a 3D artist). When I did personal art in my few precious moments of spare time, I was just drawing for validation online. I was isolated and sick and in a bad relationship and hating life. That summer, I came upon Daisy Brown and subsequently this video, and both rattled me far more than I was prepared for.
    I remember sobbing the first time I watched this video as you discussed the reasons you kept creating. I realized how much effort I was putting into things that didn't have a true and passionate reason behind them. I have no doubt that your words, both through this video and the series, played a huge role in me turning my life around after that. I deleted my social media, took a medical leave from work, got out of that relationship, started making art and stories for myself again. Not everything's perfect, but it's so much better than it was, and I'm eternally grateful that Daisy Brown exists for all it did to inspire and connect with me during one of the worst times in my life. Thanks so much for making it and sharing it with the world.
    This is the first time I've revisited the series since, and I'm so glad I did so. It's fuckin banger

  • @blestemat4426
    @blestemat4426 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    thank u so much for Daisy Brown. it brought me so much comfort as a 14-15 year old kid going through some... horrible things. i remember seeing a notification for a new upload and how happy and excited id get every time. i loved the story, the ending, everything about it. and i still do. im now 17, turning 18 in just a few days. and i still think about ur story very often and it always brings me so much joy. again, thank u. ur amazing and a huge inspiration for me. stay safe, much love.

    • @karak962
      @karak962 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Happy early birthday!!

    • @blestemat4426
      @blestemat4426 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@karak962 thank u so much! :'] 💞

  • @SupGoddo
    @SupGoddo 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    9:07 - 12:16
    Thank you. I really needed this, all this time I haven't realized what had changed and why I stopped having motivation. I realized the reason why my younger self had so much motivation to create was because she was passionate. And now, here I am, it all fucking changed when I started caring about how people liked my art, was it likeable? Would it get noticed? After people started to stop noticing it, I just- I basically stopped drawing, making stories. And for so long I wished I had the motivation I once had, but now I see what had truly happened with myself. Thank you so much, this really opened my perspective on one keeps me motivated to create. And for now on I'll try to undo what wasn't supposed to be done, the motivation for likes and recognition, and try to find that motivation, that passion, I once had when I was young.
    But once again, thank you. I'm truly grateful for these words.

  • @flaviapetrorossidefigueire6044
    @flaviapetrorossidefigueire6044 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    For me Alan can symbolize 3 things :
    An Abusive relationship that you feel like you can’t let go , that it’s your fault , that you need the person the hurts you for no reason
    The monsters we create inside our own head ,the haunt ourselves , specially at night like sleep paralysis and self doubt
    The depression the we refuse to accept that is there , or choose to live with but not fight it , the depression that sucks all the life from our life .
    I have the 2 sometimes and the 3 e everyday.
    Thank you for making this piece of art, you’re really talented as an creator and actress

  • @gguioa
    @gguioa 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Yes I'm extremely happy you talked about it
    I stopped watching Daisy Brown early on, kinda forgot about it, and it hurt to realize years later that it had gone on without me because I forgot.
    And now I see that it did go on and it finished and you even worked on Echo Rose and you're ok!
    You didn't exactly save my life, I wasn't abused, but this was such a beautiful story and I'm so glad it got made. It touched me, deep. Thank you so much.

  • @uh7656
    @uh7656 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    just wanna say I remember so vividly watching the video where daisy gets locked in the basement and being at a LOSS FOR WORDS and later just ranting to my mom about this crazy TH-cam series I was watching and how it had just given me the most guy punching sense of dread. That’s some ART RIGHT THERE. Thank u sm for making something with so much emotion that induces so much emotion

  • @MoondustManwise
    @MoondustManwise 3 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    We stan the entire story. I loved it so much that I felt a bit inclined to do something similar on my own, but I do realize that I'm not really up to the task. Instead, I just let it be an inspiration for my written works! If I get wild and decide on a story to do an arg on, I won't be able to resist tossing in a Daisy easter egg

  • @Leboston547
    @Leboston547 3 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    I found daisy brown from inside a mind, then I went to watch the entire story. It was an emotional trip. It was one the most interesting things I've ever seen.

  • @Nastee-The-Slug
    @Nastee-The-Slug 3 ปีที่แล้ว +46

    the fact that you made daisy brown out of spite, gives me life

  • @channelnamehere8924
    @channelnamehere8924 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Dunno if you need to hear this, but you are an amazing creator, and I love Daisy Brown, it's such an awesome story! And now I'm gonna go and watch Nettlebrook cuz it's made by the same person who made Daisy Brown and I have complete faith that you did amazing. You are an amazing creator and you seem like a very great person, please never stop doing what you love doing

  • @DrummerGiraffe
    @DrummerGiraffe 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    You're the illest! I love your work and thank you for answering everybody's questions about your art, you definitely didn't have to do that and I think it's real cool.

  • @plagueguy1862
    @plagueguy1862 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Daisy brown was the doorway to my arg obsession, although I've always been into horror art. it's totally inspired me to write my own stuff arg style! It's always something I seem to come back to and recommend to my friends or just doodle sometimes, and I'm so glad it's a staple in the whole community.

  • @BrennaDraws
    @BrennaDraws 3 ปีที่แล้ว +51

    Spite fuels all artists. I think people telling me I'd never make anything worthwhile as an artist is why I went 'Fuck you I'm not going to be a lawyer and devote my life to this thing' I mean.....that and I failed highschool LOL

  • @ximegdur7000
    @ximegdur7000 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    NO WAYYYY I LOVE THAT SERIESS. This made me so happy, I'm glad you did this. Thank you, your story meant a lot to me and helped me get through some tough times.

  • @241Cookies__
    @241Cookies__ 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I’ve watched two coverages for Daisy Brown, by both ‘Inside A Mind’ and ‘Night Mind’, and honestly, I just fell in love with the story
    It was just a real work of fiction that made me both scared and proud for its fictional protagonist, and really got my head working. So thank you for making this story, it is truly amazing

  • @billepperson2662
    @billepperson2662 ปีที่แล้ว

    10:10 Not only are you going to drive yourself crazy; your "Art" will suffer. Tremendously... I'm obviously going to be paraphrasing, but 1 of the most inspiring things I've ever heard, that made the most sense to me was: You have to figure out what you love (more than anything & anyone), dedicate your life to it, THEN figure out a way to sell the love

  • @itsrainingagan3772
    @itsrainingagan3772 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Daisy Brown was seriously one of my favorite web series ever. You responded to one of my comments and like, it made my whole year and it still makes me happy to this day. I’m sorry that it was a rough time in your life, but it was a beautiful product and it touched so many people. Cant wait for the rest of Nettlebrook!

  • @Sedric-and-Charlie
    @Sedric-and-Charlie 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    spite is an evergreen good reason to do anything. I loved your series, I thought it was utterly unique in its field, and I was glad it went in a more poetic direction instead of a super-literal sci-fi quest to find Daisy's dad and unravel how Alan is made and whatever

  • @m.nic.5080
    @m.nic.5080 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Yesss you’ve got a Gorillaz mug! I’ve followed Daisy Brown since it began and it’s amazing to hear all the questions answered. I could definitely tell there was real emotion behind the series, and in my opinion making a movie/series like that is a really good way to work through things. I can’t wait to hear how you created the Alan puppet as well! I’m an amateur sfx/costume maker and Alan was always an inspiration, he looks so unique.

  • @sarahcondy8790
    @sarahcondy8790 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I had only known about daisy brown from creepypasta/Internet urban legend videos and always took it at face value because of how spooky it is. Watching this made me wanna look into the series again from a new perspective, thank u for talking about this!

  • @medusahail
    @medusahail 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    stop I watched daisy brown in 2017 and havent heard about it since and just started watching ur disturbing book reviews, this is wild. I love you, such a good series, from such a good creator

  • @adivorcee2357
    @adivorcee2357 3 ปีที่แล้ว +145

    I was honestly confused at why your neighbors didn't care about anything until you said you live in the Midwest (where it is common courtesy if you get caught staring at someone to avert your gaze and start looking at trees as if you've never seen them before)

    • @alicered4198
      @alicered4198 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      I recently moved to the Midwest and I found people are a lot friendlier than where I came from. Geez, my home must be brutal.

    • @adivorcee2357
      @adivorcee2357 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@alicered4198 people in the Midwest aren’t too mean but more polite to a fault

    • @alicered4198
      @alicered4198 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@adivorcee2357 Ooooh, I see. That makes a lot more sense. Thanks!

  • @lavorre_
    @lavorre_ 3 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    i cant put into words how much i love the story you’ve made, it’s something i’ll never forget. thank you so much for sharing it with the world and for all of the hard work you put into it. much love always and forever

  • @mae2268
    @mae2268 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    The fact that I got recommended this right after telling my friend I wanted to make my own web series, but felt it was kinda dumb and too personal for it to touch another soul...
    The way you talk about Daisy like a loving parent (aided by the goth mommy look) feels like I am looking through the eyes of my friends when I talk about my characthers. I am charmed.
    I am determined to make it. I hope this child inspires plenty as the story of Daisy Brown did to me, much love, and thank you! 💕

  • @missperuniverso
    @missperuniverso 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    i remember watching the daisy brown videos and getting an immediate sense of dread, as if something, some feelings were coming to the surface, lonelyness, fear... And then towards the end an overwhelming need to stand up and take control of everything, more so, to take the control away from abusive people. It's amazing what you did so young, truly a powerful and beautiful work of art.

  • @cannedrabies
    @cannedrabies 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    ik im 4 months late but i just wanna say, 10:37-12:15 really hit home for me bc i experience that exact feeling at least once a month.
    ive had the same cast of characters for abt 4-5 years now (im 18 so thats a lot for me lol) but bc i have a nasty habit of editing and revising over and over they've changed so much that i hardly consider them the same characters, and unfortunately that habit has prevented me from ever being able to fully flesh out and execute their story.
    tbh i doubt i ever will, mainly bc i dont really have an overarching plot in mind nor do i want to create one, i dont really want their stories to end, id rather have them live on for as long as id like in the form of short little snippets of their everyday interactions, and slowly morph and change into different characters as i also grow and change myself.
    i have really low self esteem and i struggle a lot with something i call "obsessive jealousy," where i get hyper focused on everyone else's art and stretch myself thin in a bunch of directions trying to emulate what i see-- and "obsessive" isnt an exaggeration, ill spend weeks staring at an artist's work and wishing i could make the things they do. i often set my standards too high, and then beat myself up when i inevitably fall short. i want to be too many things at once, and i think it all boils down to me wishing i could be anyone except myself.
    and i think thats why itd be best if i let my story and characters remain fluid, forever a work in progress, never finalized or finished bc i know ill never be satisfied with any ending i could ever come up with. as my expectations continue to climb out of reach, i wanna retain the ability to continue to grow and chase after them, and until i catch up with them (which i doubt i ever will) ill be dragging my cast of characters along with me.