Aghh sta se pravis ko je ona I sta je ona bolja on nekog drugog. Imaju I druge cure sto ne puse I piju I zive normalan zivot. Ne mora se praviti da je bolja od nekoga to u islamu prvo nevalja da se divis nekome I da se pravis da si bolji od nekoga.
@@SaulGoodMan817 Kakve korelacije to ima bolan? Samo je rekla šta želi u muža i drugo ne prihvata. Ako ti se cini da se pravi, onda imaš neki kompleks inferioriteta
@@nunyabiznezz6038 Automatic turn off 🤣 pitam se kakva je ona prije bila. Sad kad je se pobulila ima neki standard u covjeku. I don't know what kind of patience her husband has I'm sure she has a lot of baggage that comes with that attitude. 🤣🤣👍
@@SaulGoodMan817 Ne znam. I ja sam takva osoba, a takvi su i moji standardi (osim dijela u kojem govori o poslu). Pobožna osoba i ima prava na to. Ali da, bilo bi prilično licemjerno tražiti nešto što nije sama. Kur'an 24:26. Ne smijemo spekulisati jer je haram. To sam htjela rec. Može biti ona i bolja od nas oboje. Allahu allam.
@@nunyabiznezz6038 odakle si ako mogu pitati ? Ja sam iz Srebrenice a zivim sad u Holandiji a zivio sam u Americi 25 godina. Vidim da si pametna I skolovama po tvojoj prici. 😃
Completely agree here! However this advice should also be told to men. Smoking, swear words and having had a lot of boyfriends are automatic turnoffs for us too.
Indeed but she should also say we women need to respect and stick up to our men and be real women We choose this criteria but the job can end would we go for another man !? Absolutely not All they do is to preach about what they want and never how they should be and in islam everyone has his own role so there would be no problems if everyone stick to the job he has to do but in this modern world feminist wrecked it all
well...personally i think this is common sense,but i guess there are women who need to hear it. She is just asking him to be religious,if he's a good Muslim he will own a good attitude and be aware of his actions you know
I genuinely cannot believe that there are muslim men in this comment section getting pissed off at the BARE MINIMUM this woman is asking for like u could be saying the same for a women wtf if y’all’s problem 💀
@@zainabk2866 am not mad her i actually agree with her except for the stable job part Allah is the razzaq I know of friend's who were poor when getting married and are now rich.( But that's her choice) money will come and leave in your life What you should look for in a man is his Deen(how he is with fallowing Islam does he pray ,does he read the Quran) and his khuluq(character , does he have a good character).
It's impermissible for a woman to show her face on social media platforms to do 'dawah' this is unanimously agreed on upon all the major scholars of Islam. It causes more fitna than good.
Don’t give up because of 1 bad experiences, I used to have a haram relationship Astagifurillah, but after that I realized that I want a halal relationship. And after searching through the mistakes and the hardships I faced I decided that this happens because god wants better for me and to realize what I truly want. You can get married again. Now your even more luckier since you truly know what you want. And don’t forget, get to know the person truly. In a halal manner, you should truly get to know eachother over a long period of time and talk over a long period of time, I’m talking about atleast 2 months before deciding. ❤
The question is what is a stable job? To the wives of the prophet peace be upon him a stable job was to live in a house where you could touch the ceiling, survive on dates and water and have one pair of clothing. In other words her standards would be too high for a prophet, ha. What if you are an automatic turn off, how about you throw your arrogance and attitude out the window. May Allah guide you , keep your preferences to yourself, and I assure you, you aren't every man's preference either.
@@gulrozkhan1037 You got mad because someone has diff preferences than you. You cannot be a provider or ask for a traditional wife if you don't have a stable job. May Allah guide you to be more realistic before pointing fingers at others. And you can't force ppl into silence or not having preferences. The same way no one can stop your whining on the internet 😂
@@gulrozkhan1037 Her standard would be too high for a Prophet? You are comparing 1400 years ago in the desert of Arabia with 2024. A woman who's used to a certain life (small "house", one clothe etc) is not the same as a woman who's used to sofas, bed, kitchen, more than one clothe etc (which is not a lot in this society)(and even if she wanted a lot, it's ok, like women I know who are used to luxury and it's perfectly fine to want a man who can give them that same lifestyle they grew up with). Be ambitious and try to achieve a STABLE job, if you want a good woman who will be a homemaker and raise your kids islamically, you have to provide her the comfort.
That's fair enough. You're asking for very simple things. If you've been bought up on deen and you're all practising, you're very blessed. The struggle is real for reverts.
Agreed! Settling will only result in regret. Also, when you set your standards aside, others can smell it. Best to wait and find a good match. I’m looking for similar things, sister! No smoking, no drinking unless it’s very occasional, like once a month with friends, no drugs, no cussing at least with me, no clubbing or going to the bar as a hobby, and no history of being a player. I’m not Muslim, but I am Chinese, and grew up with these social rules instead of religious rules. May you continue to enjoy a beautiful union with your husband 😊
Guys, before you start belittling her for her standards or making fun of them, are these standards not according to Islam and logic? Sure some are to her own preferences but she's a human being and has her own standards. Dont expect everyone to have dirt poor standards when it comes to marriage. Assume the best in people for sake of Allah SWT.
I'd Rather find a woman who accepts me for who I am and not accepts me for my past cause when I'm serious about something I'll try commiting to that but people like her I'd tend to avoid cause of their Ego.
@@everydayfun9531 it's assurity no big professional body accept men or women with bad past for job they have list if people are convicted of such crime you can never be in that organization and corruption is less to nothing in those organization. It's wisdom
Only one which I don't agree with is the stable job one cuz a good practicing Muslim brother might not have the best job because of reasons. Also you should have trust in Allah that Allah will provide if things get rough. Salaam❤
@Emperor Study My duty is not to be a money pit for a woman, where was this woman 15yrs ago when I was struggling to make money? Why does she have to come in my life when im successful? Women like money first then the man 5th
@@bekindyall5555 "His money is her money" - his money is his money. if she uses it without his permission, it is a major sin and she will be accountable on the day of judgement. men must only provide what is necessary we are not obligated to provide for other things
You should emphasis the lack of the Salah just as much as you emphasised the lack of job.. your hereafter is incomparably more important! May Allah guide all Ameen
Thank you for being a good person and actively trying to create a better world by sharing knowledge. This world needs this knowledge💯 I will always promote marriage because its worth it💯
I’m a 36 year old guy these are my ‘demands’ 1. She gotta/must be offering her Salah, I’m not a full conservative but I try my best in being humble and a good Muslim, but Alhamdulillah I complete my 5 daily Salah 2. For the sake of self-preservation of a marriage, we are going nuclear! (admittedly my side are extreme troublemakers, so a wife must respect a resolution that if I kept my side at bay cause they are trouble, then she got keep her own family in check, prevention is better than cure, so I’m very firm on privacy between a couple but in the south Asian community it’s one of the biggest challenges a marriage can face) 3. If she works that’s good for her, but it’s not of great importance to me. 4. She has to respect the Gender roles, considering how toxic everything has become, she got stick to her feminine role, and I keep up with my masculine role. I’m not speaking on modern social levels, im talking Sunnah, our prophet pbuh was leading and providing for his household and his wives were real women that prioritised him, the home, and the children, and yes in the modern age both husband and wife work, as long as there’s a respected system that maintains the roles. 5. I don’t have any Social Media, no IG, no Snap, no FB, no TikTok etc, I did have FB back in the day but couldn’t be asked with it, it’s lost it’s shine, I personally think it’s cesspit, and pure fitnah. Without me sounding controlling I have a stance that if I don’t have any Social Media, must a wife have it?
Yeah bro I understand and agree with a lot of these - but it’s gonna be impossible for you to find a girl who isn’t addicted to social media in some Way, even in a positive way. Women literally live for society even if they choose not to follow, most of them can’t help but know what society does or thinks. I haven’t gotten married myself but the social media thing is a common addiction in all of them - you just gotta settle for the one that doesn’t live her life on it but uses it healthily to follow good pages and talk to her ‘friends’ who are apparently always going to be as important as you in her life
@@zeenoskills5743 what you said is bang on! When FB started it was about connecting with people, but compare when social media started to today it’s fitnah and validation, but I agree we settle for what we get and it’s ok as long we got strong boundaries, Inshallah we find decent wives bro, good women.
@Zee No Skills I disagree right there. Not all women are on every social platforms. I, myself been away from all of the mentioned platforms for years. Nothing interesting to be honest. Just ppl showing off, and that attracts alot of hasad. Better to stay off it and keep your EIN 👁 to yourself 😅 Whatever the brother @themandarin said his what evey men should look for when searching for a spouse. And the sister in this video is asking for the bare minimum and that is exactly what I'm looking for
@@themandarin9539 Yeah bro, I feel you massively. It’s refreshing also to see your ‘full nuclear’ take - I also have an extremely toxic family that I keep out of my life, and this is something that worries me as well. But I don’t think you can stop or control how much her family is a part of her life. Obviously I think if they are constantly coming over and thinking they can dictate my life, I’m gonna have to put my foot down or suss this out early on & dip. So far for my own search, I’ve just put it down as if her family is remotely toxic, I’m out. I want to retain my own level of independence & own my time, life is stressful & toxic enough as it is. However I’ve had a real hard time. The girls I come across that express interest are either extremely materialistic, ignorant of religion, or expect total freedom to live and do whatever they want even after marriage. I haven’t given up hope because I believe in Allah, but if I didn’t have my faith or Allah to have hope in, I 100% would’ve decided on remaining a bachelor through life & just prioritising my own peace & contentment. Times are rough, family is toxic enough, can at least create our own positive reality to bide the time bro.
I really like your point of a nuclear family. I am a South Asian as well. In our culture it was very common for the wife to live with her husband and his parents. It created a lot of tension. All the points you are made are Islamic, reasonable and very important. InshALLAH you will find a wife that suits you perfectly!! May Allah bless you. I wish there where more Muslim men like you.
Good points here is my list: - If she actively uses social media to show off - if she is inmodest en walks around indecent - Doesn’t pray - Likes to show off - has a problem with everything i ask from her - Calles me insecure, toxic or controlling when i ask her something within the boundaries of islam - A past with boyfriends (unless she repents, who am i when Allah already forgave her) - When she is against my ambitions and life goals. All automatic turn offs❤
So many guys are parried about girls having standards. Yeah, it was much much better when girls were kept in the dark about their rights in Islam and law thus allowing guys to act as they liked with no accountability or duties Now girls are waking up, getting educated about their deen, being more visible and assertive in their wishes and expectations. They realize that marriage doesn't have to be a one way thing where you just resign to fate. Thy it's OK to want suitability nd compatibly. The internet opened a gateway to knowledge on everything also Islam. Nothing the girl said was objectionable but is the bare minimum. Of course you need to hold down a job as one of the obligations of a husband is to provide. You can't provide without a job You don't have to be millionaire. Similarly if you were out there dating and doing haram stuff then as Allah says, pure women for pure men and impure women for impure men. Smoking, drinking, zina are all prohibited. How many guys would accept girls who had many boyfriends (or even just one), who was into drinking, smoking etc? Zero. No room for double standards when Islam h's the same moral standard for both. Trough the masjid, I heard of boys refusing proposals of girls who were previously engaged because many people sadly use engagements as dating. But they forget, that many don't. When you pray you want somebody who also prays. Sharing the same morals is important. You can't build a future with fundamental differences in character and expectations. There has to be a common ground. The bottom line is just like boys are free to have their demands and standards, so are girls. Girls will have their standards. Boys can demand their wife move in to his parents home and serve all her inlaws 24 hours while also satisfying her husbands need at night. Similarly sisters can demand to have seperate housing according to her husbands means. Everybody has standards . Girls too. Nobody is forcing anybody to marry somebody they disagree with. So don't worry or behave as if a girl with standards and independent thinking is a threat.
No one even has a problem with her standards, it's how a married woman acts like a high and mighty, princess, while she's just average like the rest of humans. " if he doesn't have job stability, won't even look at his way" I don't want to insult her for that arrogant comment, but at least understand that if u present yourself in this manner, as a new wed wife, people will have a negative opinion of you. There's nothing wrong with standards. Because they're halal.
Narrated Thawban: The Prophet (ﷺ) said: If any woman asks her husband for divorce without some strong reason, the odour of Paradise will be forbidden to her.
If she has Tiktok, automatic turn off, if she's gonna be a influencer freak automatic turn off, if she want to wear make up, piercings and want to show off, if she want to work, automatic turn off. Your list is okay, no doubts about that, but we also have a list sister.
@@cybersmiley7154 yes, if she want to work is an automatic turn off, there's no way you can raise children in a islamic way when she's want to work, if she want to work is only because she's materialistic, ofc the man should give her money and take care of the family financially. We are taking about reak couples here not couple you see on tik tok, May Allah guard us.
If she wears makeup, piercings and want to work AUTOMATIC TURNOFF!!?? These things are totally halal (if done modestly) and you have a problem with it like bruhhh!!
@@SaulGoodMan817 those are the basics and we are allowed to have turn Offs. Someone who smokes, drinks, doesn’t pray 5x a day (which is required), doesn’t respect others, Isn’t atttractive to me..... the list goes on. You’re supposed to pick someone who YOU want to spend the rest of your life with and not someone who is ...ok...
@@SaulGoodMan817 I mean we men get their obedience. if she can't give that we can marry another woman or divorce them. another right is intimacy whenever we want. if she can't give that we can marry another woman or divorce them. just two rights of the man. The last point I don't agree with. Allah can take wealth and provision away whenever he wants. most of these women are old and will remain unmarried later in life anyways (because they are feminists). their standards will drop so low and still no one will want them. they try cause the husband and wife to compete with each other, which never works well
I agree with you sister. I would like to add couple more points that are important in a Muslim and in a relationship: Honestly and Trustworthiness (always says the truth, always does what he promises, always takes care of his parents and relatives), also being generous.
Sister I'm surpirsed you had to say it you are absolutely right. I'm not married but I say the same for the woman I want to marry Salah = non-negotiable (if you're not praying by the shariah you're not even muslim) Hijab = non-negotiable No swearing= non-negotiable Good values and friends = non-negotiable Islamic outlook on life = non-negotiable (lots of people pray but everything else you can't tell if they're even muslim) Make-up....you can't look different you need to look the way Allah made you. A little extra beautificationis fine but not a new face. Homemaker = non-negotiable
If she doesn't worship,never look at her if she's on tiktok runaway,if she can't cook then can't feed my kids,if she loves spending for no reason can't invest in her. If she can't take care of herself image then will always come to a dirty home. Iam the man always n for ever my way because I love n follow my nabi Muhammad s.a.w. for any woman listening to her you will defo go off track. Fear Allah n worship him alone n Fallow the example's of the wife's of your prophet Muhammad s.a.w.❤❤❤
I mean that’s fine you have your standards as long as your respectful. I believe this sister is older than me, when it comes to girl my age they can be very disrespectful and belittling. And when your looking for marriage your should try to be lenient. Your not going to find Prince Charming or Cinderella, they don’t exist. If you find someone with good deen and character, that’s all you really need everything else is a bonus and it comes and goes.
Lol these are literally the prerequisites for a man before he's permitted to marry, not sure why people catching feelings. I settled for less and regretted. I thought if he ticks all my other boxes, a man's paycheck isn't the most important thing, because some people have little luck in their work life. But when a man's habit is to constantly leave job after job, preferring to sit at home waiting for a non existant dream job. Reality check, he may just be lazy. And it quickly became problematic. At least be the kind of man who'd rather work a job you find utterly boring (but pays well/ and not tiring) than sit at home doing absolutely nothing while your wife is out working, and you're relying on your parents (and wife) to pay the bills. #1 stupidest thing I ever did.
Understand, the things you ask for, must be equally and oppositely represented by you (the value he looks for) Everything that you (woman) miss of his quality list, you have to stripe 1 quality of aswell. Newtons 3rd law
The men in the comments are butthurt. Come on guys take it easy. These are her own turn off when it came to marriage. She is already married by now so no need to ask " what do you have to offer?". When you go to marry someone you may or may not have your own list of turn offs.
I agree with her but I also think the ideology she teaches could be bad if taken to an extreme. What she mentioned, like no cussing, no smoking, no drinking, 5 daily prayers, etc. These 100% make sense but don't shoot a guy down because he is making only enough to get by and not enough to go on vacay every year, for example. Get what I mean?
@@_4zad True, we must protect our religion of Islam, the Prophet and the sahaba from such a demonic dunya worship ideology, we must revive the sunnah of the Quran of marrieng christian woman again in the west if necessary eventhough thats the worst choice we have to consider it again.
The way she presents her message is absolutely toxic sure that man isn't perfect but are you literally gonna say to someone I regret marrying you and then you break their heart isn't that one of the biggest kuffar and sin one can make.
Ooh sister, One doubt for me? What job did Ali ibn Abu Talib RA do before marrying the daughter of Our prophet Muhammad PBUH? what asset he had except his Shield. I agree with your other opinion except that job. Provision is given by Allah , sometimes tomorrow morning your husband might lose his Job. Will you divorce him?
That’s such a stupid thing to say. Without no proper income how do u expect to provide for the family. You don’t need to be rich chill, you just need to have a stable job. You take the means and Allah (Ta’ala) provides accordingly. Don’t equate nowaday men to Ali (R.A), no one is anywhere near the faith he had of Allah ( Ta’ala) and in Rasul (s.a.w).
yea you are not Ali ibn Abi Talib so shut up, and neither are women Fatima Zahra(s.a). we are normal humans and we have normal standards. you seriously think a man should even ask for a girl's hand in marriage with no job or no intention to provide? how is that socially, morally, islamically acceptable? you don't want to do anything more than just exist and just get a girl, just like that?
If his earning is haram his clothes his haram his food is Haram his lifestyle is haram Some men pray yet everything else about is haram don’t marry him. Eid Muslim jummah Muslim maybe Ramadan Muslim Also check how he respects his mom and sisters
It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allah ibn ‘Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “I was shown Hell and I have never seen anything more terrifying than it. And I saw that the majority of its people are women.” They said, “Why, O Messenger of Allah?” He said, “Because of their ingratitude (kufr).” It was said, “Are they ungrateful to Allah?” He said, “They are ungrateful to their companions (husbands) and ungrateful for good treatment. If you are kind to one of them for a lifetime then she sees one (undesirable) thing in you, she will say, ‘I have never had anything good from you.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhari, 1052)
If he didn’t have a stable job?? I hope some people realize not everyone is blessed with ability to go to school or even receive a decent education. What happens to those who have deen yet they aren’t making a lot of money? Some people are born into circumstances they cannot control. They take care of their mothers and fathers and struggle to pay bills because of it. Some people need to wake up To this reality because it can happen to anyone. Be humble and look for deen and their character overall. If money is a major concern then so be it to each their own but don’t drag anyone for it.
Hi, I am making two Muslim characters for a book (a boy and a girl, siblings) I just have a couple of questions if that’s okay, if u don’t want to answer I completely understand: 1) can a Muslim boy or girl hug or kiss or touch in general a non Muslim girl or boy before marriage? 2) can Muslims marry outside of their religion? 3) can Muslims date? 4) can Muslims date the same gender? 5) are the rules different if Muslims live in a different country such as America? I hope these questions are okay to ask, thank you.
All of them are No, but men can date outside of their religion only because the children would be more likely exposed to Islam and the husband can’t really be that influenced by the wife and her religion. I’m a woman and I wouldn’t want to date someone with another religion because I think it would have a lot of issues and stressful moments. They can’t have physical contact before marriage or anything like that or date. People who make mistakes like this can always repent and they will be forgiven so is not something you will be going to hell for unless you don’t repent.
No dating or intimacy are allowed before marriage. (Nor come nigh to adultery: for it is a shameful (deed) and an evil, opening the road (to other evils).) Al-Isra, 17vs32 No Muslim is Allowed to Marry Non Muslim. Do not marry unbelieving women (idolaters), until they believe: A slave woman who believes is better than an unbelieving woman, even though she allures you. Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe: A man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever, even though he allures you. Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the Fire. But Allah beckons by His Grace to the Garden (of bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His Signs clear to mankind: That they may celebrate His praise. Al-Baqara, 2vs221 There is exception for Muslim men to marry Jewish or Christian Women with strictly conditions. This day are (all) things good and pure made lawful unto you. The food of the People of the Book is lawful unto you and yours is lawful unto them. (Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers, but chaste women among the People of the Book, revealed before your time,- when ye give them their due dowers, and desire chastity, not lewdness, nor secret intrigues if any one rejects faith, fruitless is his work, and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost (all spiritual good). Al-Maeda, 5vs5 Gay activities are extremely forbidden. "For ye practise your lusts on men in preference to women : ye are indeed a people transgressing beyond bounds." Al-Araf, 7vs81 Muslims must marry in traditional way so no dating is allowed even for marriage purpose
I agree with all points except the last, "stable job"... Jobs come and go, meaning if he has one when you meet and he loses it, you could also leave him? In my opinion, if a woman is willing to help you reach your full potential, even if it means taking you when there is nothing to show but something to build on, I'd say go for it. But I understand your thinking though... 👉🏾 Good video, thanks.
And let’s all also normalise doing all that with humility by advising with humility because we all have feelings and rejection sucks regardless because the person u advice or reject with harshness not understanding what life circumstances led them to all that sin maybe be staring back at you in the mirror one day Also if u reject them from marriage becuse if a sin don’t utter that reason to other becuse that’s also exposing ppl sins and Allah might just reveal what you conceal in that dark from all the skeletons in your closet. Just a rlly important warning cos as much as I agree - I hate the messaging that treats spouses like for sale furniture to be picked apart and judges WITH AN AUDIENCE.
Women must be willing to be cooperative, friendly, submissive, supportive, and stand by your husband's side to be his help meet. Being combative, argumentative, rude, fussing at a man all of time immediately disqualified you for being a wife!
Sister you are misguided about the last thing you said. It's not necessary for the man to have a stable job. You forget Allah's words. He says, "Get married first, I'll make you stable." So clear your misconception about that. Jazak'Allah
If you’re a feminist, automatic turnoff. If you have been having haram relationships, automatic turnoff. If you are an entitled gold digger, automatic turnoff. If you don’t wear hijab, automatic turnoff. If you are not high in trait agreeableness, automatic turnoff.
I am a Christian, and although these two religions are incompatible in my opinion, they do have many similar teachings. If a chaste Christian woman demanded all these things from me, I would respect her for having morals and consider it well worth having a good wife. By the way, don't conflate modern Western "Christianity" with actual Christianity.. those women have no idea what this woman is talking about.
Guys if you've money u can marry 1,2,3,4 not an issues because girl marry your money not you. if u dont have money unluckly and got married your wifey gonna spoil ur life.
Yo all men If your future wife had any type of Haram relationship before And especially she is not virgin if u found out Leave her immediately No sympathy whatsoever
wat u said is actually correct,however it should also be applicable for women as well ( apart from the condition of employed women) , women should also have good character , habits , and also the basic islamic fard we must do. i have seen many muslim sisters even from my own university where they are dating non-muslim men and into haram relationships and also other haram things, which makes me feel sad . so to all my muslim brothers and sisters, please do not go to haram for love, definetly allah has planned the best for us in the halal way, let us trust allah and his plan for us, ameen.
oh i have to mention for me as a man: girls speaking so arrogantly and showing their face for thousands of non mahram - automatic turn off not even looking in this direction :)
Agree with many points but if he doesn't have a stable job that's debatable. Don't be materialistic while choosing a partner. No job is technically stable. One can lose any job any time. If he has good character and good Deen, I think he's a guy you can easily marry. If he has good finances but not good character and Deen, then u may regret later on. It's more about a person than his finances. If the two who marry are good and pious, Allah will make them rich or give them enough to live a good enough life by HIS mercy if HE wills. So don't put money or job as an obstacle. It's already hard enough to marry when ppl have such high standards. Make Halal easy and Haram difficult. May Allah guide us all ameen
Stop gaslighting the comments section, a lot of the guys are saying her demands are reasonable. Where are these guys saying this sister os asking for a lot?
If you are planning to get married you need to have a stable job as a man! That’s their duty, to provide! Not to much to ask for. If they don’t have a job then their not husband material.
@@alishaaaax really inconsiderate keeping in mind how jobs are nowadays. I have a stable income and am married but I wouldn't write someone off like that based on something they can't control
If you can’t provide for the family , there is a lot of hardship coming your way bro. But I get you , Allah is the provider the bare minimum is what she mentioned
It’s not immature. It’s as good as wanting a woman who can cook for your kids or even for yourself. If that’s a woman’s role than a man’s role is to provide for his family and if he isn’t ready for that I guess it’s negotiable if he’s actually willing to work unlike some people.
We should appreciate a person if we feel good with that person regardless of the things they like to do.. just because they smoke.. or drink.. or use cuss words- doesn’t mean they should be a “turn off”. The more work, the less time you have with that person- I would never vouch for a life like that. 🤷♀️ - personal opinion.
If that's your personal preference, don't impose it on another woman. Every woman and man chooses the traits they want in a spouse. And besides she's married to the man that she wants, and what so bad about marrying someone who you are actually attracted to and respect.
It’s basic human nature that when you surround yourself with a person you’re more likely to pick up on their habits such as smoking or cussing. Plus, why would you want to devote yourself to someone who is plagued by bad habits and a lack of self discipline? If you respect yourself you will have boundaries and turn offs. Be careful of who you surround yourself with. Personal opinion 🙏
@@ceciliecerise if you respect yourself you will have more control over your own brain. You don’t need to cuss just because another person does. If you don’t like cussing you won’t cuss. That doesn’t mean you can’t love someone that does.
I love you, the only thing I agree with her is the job. Like how we supposed to make a family and have kids if we don’t have enough money for rent or food but not marrying someone because they smoke or don’t pray ? 😂 If you think like that you don’t deserve me any way that my personality and the thing I like to do as long as I’m good and responsible man and I’m not cheating on you, you don’t need to care about what I like to do
If you’re fine with someone who drinks or doesn’t pray, that doesn’t mean many others are fine with it. Idk if you’re a Muslim or not, but we don’t try to change bad guys or whatever. We Muslims look at how religious he is, his character and whether he’ll be responsible enough as a husband.
Can someone explain how some of these comments imply that she's asking for too much? It's literally all within the islamic principles...
Aghh sta se pravis ko je ona I sta je ona bolja on nekog drugog. Imaju I druge cure sto ne puse I piju I zive normalan zivot. Ne mora se praviti da je bolja od nekoga to u islamu prvo nevalja da se divis nekome I da se pravis da si bolji od nekoga.
@@SaulGoodMan817 Kakve korelacije to ima bolan? Samo je rekla šta želi u muža i drugo ne prihvata. Ako ti se cini da se pravi, onda imaš neki kompleks inferioriteta
@@nunyabiznezz6038 Automatic turn off 🤣 pitam se kakva je ona prije bila. Sad kad je se pobulila ima neki standard u covjeku. I don't know what kind of patience her husband has I'm sure she has a lot of baggage that comes with that attitude. 🤣🤣👍
@@SaulGoodMan817 Ne znam. I ja sam takva osoba, a takvi su i moji standardi (osim dijela u kojem govori o poslu). Pobožna osoba i ima prava na to. Ali da, bilo bi prilično licemjerno tražiti nešto što nije sama. Kur'an 24:26. Ne smijemo spekulisati jer je haram. To sam htjela rec. Može biti ona i bolja od nas oboje. Allahu allam.
@@nunyabiznezz6038 odakle si ako mogu pitati ? Ja sam iz Srebrenice a zivim sad u Holandiji a zivio sam u Americi 25 godina. Vidim da si pametna I skolovama po tvojoj prici. 😃
Its actually good to know as a man. Now we know how to be better men. Thanks sister.
Simp
May Allah bless you
Careful you settle for a hairy beast who will milk u for your wealth
No THANK YOU for being so understanding and respectful:)
Mashallah brother
No one should debate this! It’s not a lot to ask!
Now i will give the list..if she is feminist, not cook, not clean the house, wants to work outside, dont do hijab, automatically turn off..
@@thebacheafghan sure, that's within islamic rules yknow
What do you bring to the table?
@@baraji4653 what did your mom bring to the table?
@@Series_here12 my mom is special.
Completely agree here!
However this advice should also be told to men.
Smoking, swear words and having had a lot of boyfriends are automatic turnoffs for us too.
Yes same for both genders!!!
Not praying is also an automatic turn off. Since not praying is Kufr.
Indeed but she should also say we women need to respect and stick up to our men and be real women
We choose this criteria but the job can end would we go for another man !? Absolutely not
All they do is to preach about what they want and never how they should be and in islam everyone has his own role so there would be no problems if everyone stick to the job he has to do but in this modern world feminist wrecked it all
Bro even 1 boyfriend is a deal breaker for me. Plenty of chaste women out here
@@Andy-hi3ytdoes that mean you're also chaste and never had a girlfriend?
BARE MINIMUM FOR A MUSLIM
well...personally i think this is common sense,but i guess there are women who need to hear it. She is just asking him to be religious,if he's a good Muslim he will own a good attitude and be aware of his actions you know
and of course this also works for us women🌷
remove your profile picture
and she show off in tiktok with makeup
Women making tikitoki, automatic turned off 🚩❌
I genuinely cannot believe that there are muslim men in this comment section getting pissed off at the BARE MINIMUM this woman is asking for like u could be saying the same for a women wtf if y’all’s problem 💀
That's what I'm wondering. Goes to show how lacking some muslim men are now a days
This is not even the bare minimum a man who doesn't even pray isn't Muslim and you can't marry them
@@johncharles4146 … ok genius so why are you mad at her for making this video?
@@zainabk2866 am not mad her i actually agree with her except for the stable job part Allah is the razzaq I know of friend's who were poor when getting married and are now rich.( But that's her choice) money will come and leave in your life
What you should look for in a man is his Deen(how he is with fallowing Islam does he pray ,does he read the Quran) and his khuluq(character , does he have a good character).
It's impermissible for a woman to show her face on social media platforms to do 'dawah' this is unanimously agreed on upon all the major scholars of Islam. It causes more fitna than good.
FACTS. I settled at age 20 and I regretted at age 21 and have been single ever since. I am 25 now. Never going to make a mistake like that again.
Don’t give up because of 1 bad experiences, I used to have a haram relationship Astagifurillah, but after that I realized that I want a halal relationship. And after searching through the mistakes and the hardships I faced I decided that this happens because god wants better for me and to realize what I truly want. You can get married again. Now your even more luckier since you truly know what you want. And don’t forget, get to know the person truly. In a halal manner, you should truly get to know eachother over a long period of time and talk over a long period of time, I’m talking about atleast 2 months before deciding. ❤
remove your profile picture
Same sis
@@shadowstorm5261 advice her not order her to do something like you are husband or something!
@@ajax1472 i did advise her
So many people in theses comments are so unnecessarily critical.
The question is what is a stable job? To the wives of the prophet peace be upon him a stable job was to live in a house where you could touch the ceiling, survive on dates and water and have one pair of clothing. In other words her standards would be too high for a prophet, ha. What if you are an automatic turn off, how about you throw your arrogance and attitude out the window. May Allah guide you , keep your preferences to yourself, and I assure you, you aren't every man's preference either.
Women making tiktoks, listening to music, automatic turned off 🚩❌
@@gulrozkhan1037 You got mad because someone has diff preferences than you. You cannot be a provider or ask for a traditional wife if you don't have a stable job. May Allah guide you to be more realistic before pointing fingers at others. And you can't force ppl into silence or not having preferences. The same way no one can stop your whining on the internet 😂
@@gulrozkhan1037 Her standard would be too high for a Prophet? You are comparing 1400 years ago in the desert of Arabia with 2024. A woman who's used to a certain life (small "house", one clothe etc) is not the same as a woman who's used to sofas, bed, kitchen, more than one clothe etc (which is not a lot in this society)(and even if she wanted a lot, it's ok, like women I know who are used to luxury and it's perfectly fine to want a man who can give them that same lifestyle they grew up with). Be ambitious and try to achieve a STABLE job, if you want a good woman who will be a homemaker and raise your kids islamically, you have to provide her the comfort.
That's fair enough. You're asking for very simple things. If you've been bought up on deen and you're all practising, you're very blessed. The struggle is real for reverts.
As a man 100 percent agreed! Especially the job stability!! Men must provide inshallah May Allah Help us become excellent providers Ameen
Agreed! Settling will only result in regret. Also, when you set your standards aside, others can smell it. Best to wait and find a good match. I’m looking for similar things, sister! No smoking, no drinking unless it’s very occasional, like once a month with friends, no drugs, no cussing at least with me, no clubbing or going to the bar as a hobby, and no history of being a player. I’m not Muslim, but I am Chinese, and grew up with these social rules instead of religious rules. May you continue to enjoy a beautiful union with your husband 😊
Hi how are you doing today can we be friends here please
As a single man and a father, i find that very reasonable.
I agree and that’s very simple things to ask for
Your list is very reasonable sister. Problem with many of today’s sisters are too many unrealistic expectations.
Guys, before you start belittling her for her standards or making fun of them, are these standards not according to Islam and logic? Sure some are to her own preferences but she's a human being and has her own standards. Dont expect everyone to have dirt poor standards when it comes to marriage. Assume the best in people for sake of Allah SWT.
yeah, men should raise their standards too and avoid women like this, starting with don't marry a woman who displays themselves on social media
I'd Rather find a woman who accepts me for who I am and not accepts me for my past cause when I'm serious about something I'll try commiting to that but people like her I'd tend to avoid cause of their Ego.
@@everydayfun9531 it's not ego it's Islamic standards
@@everydayfun9531 it's assurity no big professional body accept men or women with bad past for job they have list if people are convicted of such crime you can never be in that organization and corruption is less to nothing in those organization.
It's wisdom
@@shadowstorm5261looks like you got angry because you don't have a "stable job " 😂😂😂
Only one which I don't agree with is the stable job one cuz a good practicing Muslim brother might not have the best job because of reasons. Also you should have trust in Allah that Allah will provide if things get rough. Salaam❤
But you see in the end you are just a resource for a woman and nothing more.
@@tajwalikhan9995 lol that's what these women think ik. Alot of them just want a rich husband so they can enjoy his money
@Emperor Study My duty is not to be a money pit for a woman, where was this woman 15yrs ago when I was struggling to make money? Why does she have to come in my life when im successful? Women like money first then the man 5th
@@tajwalikhan9995 isn't it a husbands responsibility to provide for his wife in islam? His money is her money.... Again the women should also be good
@@bekindyall5555 "His money is her money" - his money is his money. if she uses it without his permission, it is a major sin and she will be accountable on the day of judgement. men must only provide what is necessary we are not obligated to provide for other things
We all sinners we aren’t supposed to be perfect. But I’m happy for you regardless inshallah many more happy years with your spouse.
but the salah condition is a MUST. yes we sin but to miss your salah and still wanna get married is a no no.
What she mentioned is no where near being perfect. She listed simple things every Muslim should be practicing regardless of marital status
You should emphasis the lack of the Salah just as much as you emphasised the lack of job.. your hereafter is incomparably more important! May Allah guide all Ameen
You go girl! I settled and had to basically provide for my husband for several years. We are now divorced.
I'm sorry, girl. I know many cases where the men don't provide. It's not fair.
Masha Allah ,may Allah bless you
These are facts I would tell my daughter the same .
do you even have a daughter and if not then how can you 100% sure that you'll have one since its Allah who decides what's to and what's not to
Thank you for being a good person and actively trying to create a better world by sharing knowledge. This world needs this knowledge💯 I will always promote marriage because its worth it💯
I’m a 36 year old guy these are my ‘demands’
1. She gotta/must be offering her Salah, I’m not a full conservative but I try my best in being humble and a good Muslim, but Alhamdulillah I complete my 5 daily Salah
2. For the sake of self-preservation of a marriage, we are going nuclear! (admittedly my side are extreme troublemakers, so a wife must respect a resolution that if I kept my side at bay cause they are trouble, then she got keep her own family in check, prevention is better than cure, so I’m very firm on privacy between a couple but in the south Asian community it’s one of the biggest challenges a marriage can face)
3. If she works that’s good for her, but it’s not of great importance to me.
4. She has to respect the Gender roles, considering how toxic everything has become, she got stick to her feminine role, and I keep up with my masculine role. I’m not speaking on modern social levels, im talking Sunnah, our prophet pbuh was leading and providing for his household and his wives were real women that prioritised him, the home, and the children, and yes in the modern age both husband and wife work, as long as there’s a respected system that maintains the roles.
5. I don’t have any Social Media, no IG, no Snap, no FB, no TikTok etc, I did have FB back in the day but couldn’t be asked with it, it’s lost it’s shine, I personally think it’s cesspit, and pure fitnah. Without me sounding controlling I have a stance that if I don’t have any Social Media, must a wife have it?
Yeah bro I understand and agree with a lot of these - but it’s gonna be impossible for you to find a girl who isn’t addicted to social media in some
Way, even in a positive way. Women literally live for society even if they choose not to follow, most of them can’t help but know what society does or thinks. I haven’t gotten married myself but the social media thing is a common addiction in all of them - you just gotta settle for the one that doesn’t live her life on it but uses it healthily to follow good pages and talk to her ‘friends’ who are apparently always going to be as important as you in her life
@@zeenoskills5743 what you said is bang on! When FB started it was about connecting with people, but compare when social media started to today it’s fitnah and validation, but I agree we settle for what we get and it’s ok as long we got strong boundaries, Inshallah we find decent wives bro, good women.
@Zee No Skills I disagree right there. Not all women are on every social platforms.
I, myself been away from all of the mentioned platforms for years. Nothing interesting to be honest. Just ppl showing off, and that attracts alot of hasad. Better to stay off it and keep your EIN 👁 to yourself 😅
Whatever the brother @themandarin said his what evey men should look for when searching for a spouse.
And the sister in this video is asking for the bare minimum and that is exactly what I'm looking for
@@themandarin9539 Yeah bro, I feel you massively.
It’s refreshing also to see your ‘full nuclear’ take - I also have an extremely toxic family that I keep out of my life, and this is something that worries me as well. But I don’t think you can stop or control how much her family is a part of her life. Obviously I think if they are constantly coming over and thinking they can dictate my life, I’m gonna have to put my foot down or suss this out early on & dip. So far for my own search, I’ve just put it down as if her family is remotely toxic, I’m out. I want to retain my own level of independence & own my time, life is stressful & toxic enough as it is.
However I’ve had a real hard time. The girls I come across that express interest are either extremely materialistic, ignorant of religion, or expect total freedom to live and do whatever they want even after marriage.
I haven’t given up hope because I believe in Allah, but if I didn’t have my faith or Allah to have hope in, I 100% would’ve decided on remaining a bachelor through life & just prioritising my own peace & contentment. Times are rough, family is toxic enough, can at least create our own positive reality to bide the time bro.
I really like your point of a nuclear family. I am a South Asian as well. In our culture it was very common for the wife to live with her husband and his parents. It created a lot of tension.
All the points you are made are Islamic, reasonable and very important.
InshALLAH you will find a wife that suits you perfectly!!
May Allah bless you. I wish there where more Muslim men like you.
I needed to hear this!!! Thank u! ♥️👌🏽
Good points here is my list:
- If she actively uses social media to show off
- if she is inmodest en walks around indecent
- Doesn’t pray
- Likes to show off
- has a problem with everything i ask from her
- Calles me insecure, toxic or controlling when i ask her something within the boundaries of islam
- A past with boyfriends (unless she repents, who am i when Allah already forgave her)
- When she is against my ambitions and life goals.
All automatic turn offs❤
So many guys are parried about girls having standards. Yeah, it was much much better when girls were kept in the dark about their rights in Islam and law thus allowing guys to act as they liked with no accountability or duties Now girls are waking up, getting educated about their deen, being more visible and assertive in their wishes and expectations. They realize that marriage doesn't have to be a one way thing where you just resign to fate. Thy it's OK to want suitability nd compatibly. The internet opened a gateway to knowledge on everything also Islam. Nothing the girl said was objectionable but is the bare minimum. Of course you need to hold down a job as one of the obligations of a husband is to provide. You can't provide without a job You don't have to be millionaire. Similarly if you were out there dating and doing haram stuff then as Allah says, pure women for pure men and impure women for impure men. Smoking, drinking, zina are all prohibited. How many guys would accept girls who had many boyfriends (or even just one), who was into drinking, smoking etc? Zero. No room for double standards when Islam h's the same moral standard for both. Trough the masjid, I heard of boys refusing proposals of girls who were previously engaged because many people sadly use engagements as dating. But they forget, that many don't. When you pray you want somebody who also prays. Sharing the same morals is important. You can't build a future with fundamental differences in character and expectations. There has to be a common ground.
The bottom line is just like boys are free to have their demands and standards, so are girls. Girls will have their standards. Boys can demand their wife move in to his parents home and serve all her inlaws 24 hours while also satisfying her husbands need at night. Similarly sisters can demand to have seperate housing according to her husbands means.
Everybody has standards . Girls too. Nobody is forcing anybody to marry somebody they disagree with. So don't worry or behave as if a girl with standards and independent thinking is a threat.
thanks for saying the truth !
No one even has a problem with her standards, it's how a married woman acts like a high and mighty, princess, while she's just average like the rest of humans. " if he doesn't have job stability, won't even look at his way" I don't want to insult her for that arrogant comment, but at least understand that if u present yourself in this manner, as a new wed wife, people will have a negative opinion of you. There's nothing wrong with standards. Because they're halal.
Many girls nowadays are getting educated in kufr and shirk.
Alhamd Lilhi as a Muslim man, I see these to be the absolute minimum standard. Honestly, no righteousful sister should expect lower than these 🤷♂️
Yes I agree. This isn’t up for debate. This is what a regular Muslim shouldn’t do.
Narrated Thawban:
The Prophet (ﷺ) said: If any woman asks her husband for divorce without some strong reason, the odour of Paradise will be forbidden to her.
Not praying
Smoking, drugs
Zina
Can't provide
Are all valid reasons for divorce.
If she has Tiktok, automatic turn off, if she's gonna be a influencer freak automatic turn off, if she want to wear make up, piercings and want to show off, if she want to work, automatic turn off. Your list is okay, no doubts about that, but we also have a list sister.
If she works 💀
Wow “If she want to work” is a turn off?? 💀 As well as having a simple mobile app?
@@cybersmiley7154 yes, if she want to work is an automatic turn off, there's no way you can raise children in a islamic way when she's want to work, if she want to work is only because she's materialistic, ofc the man should give her money and take care of the family financially.
We are taking about reak couples here not couple you see on tik tok, May Allah guard us.
I like it but she needs to work with modesty around her ✨
If she wears makeup, piercings and want to work AUTOMATIC TURNOFF!!??
These things are totally halal (if done modestly) and you have a problem with it like bruhhh!!
Agree 100%!!!!!
Sure u agree, but what do you have to offer If we man can't do no wrong what is in it for us ?
@John Kramer hahah no thx we all find a woman that has something to offer us men. Not just the 🐈 or claiming to be a virgin lol
@@SaulGoodMan817 those are the basics and we are allowed to have turn Offs. Someone who smokes, drinks, doesn’t pray 5x a day (which is required), doesn’t respect others, Isn’t atttractive to me..... the list goes on. You’re supposed to pick someone who YOU want to spend the rest of your life with and not someone who is ...ok...
@@SaulGoodMan817 I mean we men get their obedience. if she can't give that we can marry another woman or divorce them. another right is intimacy whenever we want. if she can't give that we can marry another woman or divorce them. just two rights of the man.
The last point I don't agree with. Allah can take wealth and provision away whenever he wants. most of these women are old and will remain unmarried later in life anyways (because they are feminists). their standards will drop so low and still no one will want them. they try cause the husband and wife to compete with each other, which never works well
@@shadowstorm5261 you don’t get obedience she’ll only listen to you in Islamic matters and intimacy is a right of both
I agree with you sister. I would like to add couple more points that are important in a Muslim and in a relationship: Honestly and Trustworthiness (always says the truth, always does what he promises, always takes care of his parents and relatives), also being generous.
Sister I'm surpirsed you had to say it you are absolutely right. I'm not married but I say the same for the woman I want to marry
Salah = non-negotiable (if you're not praying by the shariah you're not even muslim)
Hijab = non-negotiable
No swearing= non-negotiable
Good values and friends = non-negotiable
Islamic outlook on life = non-negotiable (lots of people pray but everything else you can't tell if they're even muslim)
Make-up....you can't look different you need to look the way Allah made you. A little extra beautificationis fine but not a new face.
Homemaker = non-negotiable
This is a great list, even I wouldn't make the cut. Congratulations to this good sister.
Basics bro
If she doesn't worship,never look at her if she's on tiktok runaway,if she can't cook then can't feed my kids,if she loves spending for no reason can't invest in her. If she can't take care of herself image then will always come to a dirty home. Iam the man always n for ever my way because I love n follow my nabi Muhammad s.a.w. for any woman listening to her you will defo go off track. Fear Allah n worship him alone n Fallow the example's of the wife's of your prophet Muhammad s.a.w.❤❤❤
Follow the example of somebody who had sex with a 9 yr old? I’ll pass
I'm not married, but I don't do all of those things you have said ,but I have a work I do my prayers 🙏 but I can't find a wife .
Maybe someone loves and they pray for any body to have any attraction for you because they want u their one and only lol
This is the bare minimum for a potential husband. Similarly, a girl should also be firm on her deen and live a life that pleases allah
Her children will grow up knowing their worth. And excellent Muslims. In shaa Allah.
I agree. You need to pray. You need to have a stable job. No curse words. And of course, no drinking, or a string of girlfriends in his past. Bye. ❤️💕
Absolutely, Allah-U-Akbar As-Salaam Alaikum.😍❤️
Hi how are you doing today can we be here please
Jazak Allah Khairan! ❤
Ma sha Allah.. Well done habibti, good advice , jazaki Allahu khairan ❤
I mean. As a man. These points should be your bare minimum requirement for yourself. Just speaking as a muslim. Not even related to marriage
Women aren't obligated to work in Islam. The other points are valid.
Before any of the gentlemen get offended, this whole list except for a stable job ofc, is a list necessary to be in a potential wife ❤
Alot of dusties in the comments 😅
Women saying men here are complaining. Where tf are we complaining! 😂
Y'all just wanna portray us in a bad way.
This is the bare minimum anyways.
I mean that’s fine you have your standards as long as your respectful. I believe this sister is older than me, when it comes to girl my age they can be very disrespectful and belittling. And when your looking for marriage your should try to be lenient. Your not going to find Prince Charming or Cinderella, they don’t exist. If you find someone with good deen and character, that’s all you really need everything else is a bonus and it comes and goes.
Lol these are literally the prerequisites for a man before he's permitted to marry, not sure why people catching feelings.
I settled for less and regretted.
I thought if he ticks all my other boxes, a man's paycheck isn't the most important thing, because some people have little luck in their work life. But when a man's habit is to constantly leave job after job, preferring to sit at home waiting for a non existant dream job. Reality check, he may just be lazy.
And it quickly became problematic.
At least be the kind of man who'd rather work a job you find utterly boring (but pays well/ and not tiring) than sit at home doing absolutely nothing while your wife is out working, and you're relying on your parents (and wife) to pay the bills.
#1 stupidest thing I ever did.
Understand, the things you ask for, must be equally and oppositely represented by you (the value he looks for)
Everything that you (woman) miss of his quality list, you have to stripe 1 quality of aswell. Newtons 3rd law
Agreed sister. Brothers you all should have negotiable terms before marriage.
The men in the comments are butthurt.
Come on guys take it easy. These are her own turn off when it came to marriage. She is already married by now so no need to ask " what do you have to offer?".
When you go to marry someone you may or may not have your own list of turn offs.
I agree with her but I also think the ideology she teaches could be bad if taken to an extreme. What she mentioned, like no cussing, no smoking, no drinking, 5 daily prayers, etc. These 100% make sense but don't shoot a guy down because he is making only enough to get by and not enough to go on vacay every year, for example.
Get what I mean?
@@_4zad True, we must protect our religion of Islam, the Prophet and the sahaba from such a demonic dunya worship ideology, we must revive the sunnah of the Quran of marrieng christian woman again in the west if necessary eventhough thats the worst choice we have to consider it again.
her husband allows her to show herself openly in public and reveal herself. that is not a man.
The way she presents her message is absolutely toxic sure that man isn't perfect but are you literally gonna say to someone I regret marrying you and then you break their heart isn't that one of the biggest kuffar and sin one can make.
May the almighty bless you sister ❤I learned so much from your videos on TikTok
Don't take marriage advise from a woman who's on social media looking for validation.
Thank you
True
she’s already married
@@maryamyousaf4727 You seriously missed my point.
@@unknownunknown6101 cry about it
Ooh sister, One doubt for me?
What job did Ali ibn Abu Talib RA do before marrying the daughter of Our prophet Muhammad PBUH?
what asset he had except his Shield.
I agree with your other opinion except that job. Provision is given by Allah , sometimes tomorrow morning your husband might lose his Job. Will you divorce him?
She’s still single 😂
That’s such a stupid thing to say. Without no proper income how do u expect to provide for the family. You don’t need to be rich chill, you just need to have a stable job. You take the means and Allah (Ta’ala) provides accordingly.
Don’t equate nowaday men to Ali (R.A), no one is anywhere near the faith he had of Allah ( Ta’ala) and in Rasul (s.a.w).
That was Ali (RA)
Why you comparing yourself to him?
yea you are not Ali ibn Abi Talib so shut up, and neither are women Fatima Zahra(s.a). we are normal humans and we have normal standards. you seriously think a man should even ask for a girl's hand in marriage with no job or no intention to provide? how is that socially, morally, islamically acceptable? you don't want to do anything more than just exist and just get a girl, just like that?
If his earning is haram his clothes his haram his food is Haram his lifestyle is haram
Some men pray yet everything else about is haram don’t marry him.
Eid Muslim jummah Muslim maybe Ramadan Muslim
Also check how he respects his mom and sisters
Alot of incels in the comment section AJAJAJAJAJAJA ladies and gents these ain't high standards these are THE STANDARDS peace!
Calling people incels then talking about peace lol
@@ibrahimzulfiquar668 whooosh lmao
Such an NPC. 🤖: Incel bip boop bap
Thank sister, i can remain single for ever, i will be happy forever.
Shalom💞🧸sweet lady...good advice. my list 📃 is shorter. new list is: Godly, harmless, generous, kind, faithful
Very reasonable demands. It helps us men to be better men
This is BASIC.
It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allah ibn ‘Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) said:
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “I was shown Hell and I have never seen anything more terrifying than it. And I saw that the majority of its people are women.” They said, “Why, O Messenger of Allah?” He said, “Because of their ingratitude (kufr).” It was said, “Are they ungrateful to Allah?” He said, “They are ungrateful to their companions (husbands) and ungrateful for good treatment. If you are kind to one of them for a lifetime then she sees one (undesirable) thing in you, she will say, ‘I have never had anything good from you.’”
(Narrated by al-Bukhari, 1052)
How in the world is a man who smokes, drink, uses curse words, having girlfriends etc, going to treat his wife well according to Islam?
If he didn’t have a stable job?? I hope some people realize not everyone is blessed with ability to go to school or even receive a decent education. What happens to those who have deen yet they aren’t making a lot of money? Some people are born into circumstances they cannot control. They take care of their mothers and fathers and struggle to pay bills because of it. Some people need to wake up To this reality because it can happen to anyone. Be humble and look for deen and their character overall. If money is a major concern then so be it to each their own but don’t drag anyone for it.
I think what she said is here is fine except the last one what if you love someone at 17-18 etc
Hi, I am making two Muslim characters for a book (a boy and a girl, siblings) I just have a couple of questions if that’s okay, if u don’t want to answer I completely understand:
1) can a Muslim boy or girl hug or kiss or touch in general a non Muslim girl or boy before marriage?
2) can Muslims marry outside of their religion?
3) can Muslims date?
4) can Muslims date the same gender?
5) are the rules different if Muslims live in a different country such as America?
I hope these questions are okay to ask, thank you.
All of them are No, but men can date outside of their religion only because the children would be more likely exposed to Islam and the husband can’t really be that influenced by the wife and her religion. I’m a woman and I wouldn’t want to date someone with another religion because I think it would have a lot of issues and stressful moments. They can’t have physical contact before marriage or anything like that or date. People who make mistakes like this can always repent and they will be forgiven so is not something you will be going to hell for unless you don’t repent.
There’s no difference if we are in a different country because Islam is one religion and it doesn’t change for anyone or any country.
@@chaeun-woon8405 okay thank you.
Yes, Muslim men can marry Christian or Jewish women. They are people of the book. All other questions is a no
No dating or intimacy are allowed before marriage.
(Nor come nigh to adultery: for it is a shameful (deed) and an evil, opening the road (to other evils).)
Al-Isra, 17vs32
No Muslim is Allowed to Marry Non Muslim.
Do not marry unbelieving women (idolaters), until they believe: A slave woman who believes is better than an unbelieving woman, even though she allures you. Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe: A man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever, even though he allures you. Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the Fire. But Allah beckons by His Grace to the Garden (of bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His Signs clear to mankind: That they may celebrate His praise.
Al-Baqara, 2vs221
There is exception for Muslim men to marry Jewish or Christian Women with strictly conditions.
This day are (all) things good and pure made lawful unto you. The food of the People of the Book is lawful unto you and yours is lawful unto them. (Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers, but chaste women among the People of the Book, revealed before your time,- when ye give them their due dowers, and desire chastity, not lewdness, nor secret intrigues if any one rejects faith, fruitless is his work, and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost (all spiritual good).
Al-Maeda, 5vs5
Gay activities are extremely forbidden.
"For ye practise your lusts on men in preference to women : ye are indeed a people transgressing beyond bounds."
Al-Araf, 7vs81
Muslims must marry in traditional way so no dating is allowed even for marriage purpose
She is asking for Minimum
My requirement is to not marry a sister from the West 😂
I agree with all points except the last, "stable job"... Jobs come and go, meaning if he has one when you meet and he loses it, you could also leave him?
In my opinion, if a woman is willing to help you reach your full potential, even if it means taking you when there is nothing to show but something to build on, I'd say go for it. But I understand your thinking though... 👉🏾 Good video, thanks.
Stop making excuses.
A man should be financially stable for him to marry !?
And let’s all also normalise doing all that with humility by advising with humility because we all have feelings and rejection sucks regardless because the person u advice or reject with harshness not understanding what life circumstances led them to all that sin maybe be staring back at you in the mirror one day
Also if u reject them from marriage becuse if a sin don’t utter that reason to other becuse that’s also exposing ppl sins and Allah might just reveal what you conceal in that dark from all the skeletons in your closet.
Just a rlly important warning cos as much as I agree - I hate the messaging that treats spouses like for sale furniture to be picked apart and judges WITH AN AUDIENCE.
Must Prayor, not smoke, no bad language. Those are all things said in the Holly Quran. But remember jobs come and go and Allah will test us.
Women must be willing to be cooperative, friendly, submissive, supportive, and stand by your husband's side to be his help meet. Being combative, argumentative, rude, fussing at a man all of time immediately disqualified you for being a wife!
She seems to be a good wife. Why did you bring those points up?
Simply the truth 😊
Sister you are misguided about the last thing you said. It's not necessary for the man to have a stable job. You forget Allah's words. He says,
"Get married first, I'll make you stable."
So clear your misconception about that.
Jazak'Allah
If you’re a feminist, automatic turnoff. If you have been having haram relationships, automatic turnoff. If you are an entitled gold digger, automatic turnoff. If you don’t wear hijab, automatic turnoff. If you are not high in trait agreeableness, automatic turnoff.
I understand this reaction akhi and I agree with everything you said. But let us not be like many entitled, self righteous women.
@@abelievereverrising283 i mean what he listed is bare minimum. even lower than that
I am a Christian, and although these two religions are incompatible in my opinion, they do have many similar teachings.
If a chaste Christian woman demanded all these things from me, I would respect her for having morals and consider it well worth having a good wife. By the way, don't conflate modern Western "Christianity" with actual Christianity.. those women have no idea what this woman is talking about.
Guys if you've money u can marry 1,2,3,4 not an issues because girl marry your money not you. if u dont have money unluckly and got married your wifey gonna spoil ur life.
Yo all men
If your future wife had any type of Haram relationship before
And especially she is not virgin if u found out
Leave her immediately
No sympathy whatsoever
“Stable job” is myth nowadays you can get fired anytime, But Hardwork to provide for family is must(wajib).
It's just her personal automatic turn offs.
🤣
wat u said is actually correct,however it should also be applicable for women as well ( apart from the condition of employed women) , women should also have good character , habits , and also the basic islamic fard we must do. i have seen many muslim sisters even from my own university where they are dating non-muslim men and into haram relationships and also other haram things, which makes me feel sad .
so to all my muslim brothers and sisters, please do not go to haram for love, definetly allah has planned the best for us in the halal way, let us trust allah and his plan for us, ameen.
this applies to us brothers aswell. Do not settle for a lower tier woman, just because you are trying to get married or laid.
She's speaking facts
oh i have to mention for me as a man:
girls speaking so arrogantly and showing their face for thousands of non mahram - automatic turn off
not even looking in this direction :)
that's true tho, it can be fitna showing herself
I wouldn't like as a man for my woman to show herself in front of non mahram people
@@akabigz4204 well done. you qualify as a man in this department.
Another turn of men not lowering their gaze and looking at women online
@@ldrago6031 another turn off, people who commit and support tabarruj like you
Us boy be hearing this years before our marriage 😂. But its good to hear this and im not that young. Im pretty close to the age where i get engaged.
she isn’t asking for too much tbh
Your list is short, but you did mention the most important stuff.
I start writing down the basic turn off first and turns on since im21 and not married
You were always gonna marry who ever you end up marrying that written for you so is your Rizq
No matter how much advise n suggestions 1 can give. But no one can change the destiny.
Agree with many points but if he doesn't have a stable job that's debatable. Don't be materialistic while choosing a partner. No job is technically stable. One can lose any job any time. If he has good character and good Deen, I think he's a guy you can easily marry. If he has good finances but not good character and Deen, then u may regret later on. It's more about a person than his finances.
If the two who marry are good and pious, Allah will make them rich or give them enough to live a good enough life by HIS mercy if HE wills. So don't put money or job as an obstacle. It's already hard enough to marry when ppl have such high standards. Make Halal easy and Haram difficult.
May Allah guide us all ameen
Ma sha Allah yes girl ❤
Good for you sister....May Allah bless you...
Stop gaslighting the comments section, a lot of the guys are saying her demands are reasonable.
Where are these guys saying this sister os asking for a lot?
Agreed with everything until she mentioned "stable job", that's an immature thing to say.
If you are planning to get married you need to have a stable job as a man! That’s their duty, to provide! Not to much to ask for. If they don’t have a job then their not husband material.
@@alishaaaax really inconsiderate keeping in mind how jobs are nowadays. I have a stable income and am married but I wouldn't write someone off like that based on something they can't control
If you can’t provide for the family , there is a lot of hardship coming your way bro. But I get you , Allah is the provider the bare minimum is what she mentioned
@@prettygirlclub.7719 you missed the point. Allah is the provider, but he can also take things away
It’s not immature. It’s as good as wanting a woman who can cook for your kids or even for yourself. If that’s a woman’s role than a man’s role is to provide for his family and if he isn’t ready for that I guess it’s negotiable if he’s actually willing to work unlike some people.
Mashallah allah bless you❤
We should appreciate a person if we feel good with that person regardless of the things they like to do.. just because they smoke.. or drink.. or use cuss words- doesn’t mean they should be a “turn off”. The more work, the less time you have with that person- I would never vouch for a life like that. 🤷♀️ - personal opinion.
If that's your personal preference, don't impose it on another woman. Every woman and man chooses the traits they want in a spouse. And besides she's married to the man that she wants, and what so bad about marrying someone who you are actually attracted to and respect.
It’s basic human nature that when you surround yourself with a person you’re more likely to pick up on their habits such as smoking or cussing. Plus, why would you want to devote yourself to someone who is plagued by bad habits and a lack of self discipline? If you respect yourself you will have boundaries and turn offs. Be careful of who you surround yourself with. Personal opinion 🙏
@@ceciliecerise if you respect yourself you will have more control over your own brain. You don’t need to cuss just because another person does. If you don’t like cussing you won’t cuss. That doesn’t mean you can’t love someone that does.
I love you, the only thing I agree with her is the job. Like how we supposed to make a family and have kids if we don’t have enough money for rent or food but not marrying someone because they smoke or don’t pray ? 😂
If you think like that you don’t deserve me any way that my personality and the thing I like to do as long as I’m good and responsible man and I’m not cheating on you, you don’t need to care about what I like to do
If you’re fine with someone who drinks or doesn’t pray, that doesn’t mean many others are fine with it. Idk if you’re a Muslim or not, but we don’t try to change bad guys or whatever. We Muslims look at how religious he is, his character and whether he’ll be responsible enough as a husband.
This is a good video.
when our prophet was poor khadijah made him rich ♥️✨
If he doesn't treat his parents right is the first flag
I already told myself at 17 to never get married, l'm now a 47yo Muslim woman , and I still don't want to get married.