One of my favorite moments is watching Colin accept Penelope’s implied “no” when she says, “Colin, we’re friends”. Such a beautiful example of handling rejection with grace and respect. No arguing, no pressure, no lashing out. Just a moment of crushing disappointment and disbelief, and then, “Of course. Forgive me. I don’t know what I was thinking.“ Massive green flag
I REALLY liked it when Debling said "I didn't ask if it was a possibility, I asked if you would like it be" because it shows that Debling really respects Pen & that he is capable of trusting her. In Colin's defense, yes he did interrupt their dance, angered Debling, and put Pen's proposal in jeopardy but that question centers around HER feelings (similar to when women say "I am not interested" when rejecting someone vs saying "I have a bf", assuming of course there's no immediate danger). So for Debling, even if Colin WERE to have feelings, if Pen doesn't reciprocate, then he can trust her to turn him down & not cheat. Ultimately, what ruined the proposal wasn't Colin, but Pen not being able to lie about having feelings for Colin. Debling is a GREAT & honest man, and I really do like it when there's a love triangle and nobody has to be a bad guy for them to not be chosen. Here, it's simply that Pen wants love and she's still in love with Colin. I do think Polin is a very healthy & loving relationship but as Jonathan will see later, they are still flawed characters living in a society that is extremely judgemental & restrictive. This something that I think people need to remember ALSO applies to Colin, who deep down is much more different than his brothers, not just Pen.
@@ru3144 Me too, but I have faith in Jono. I think he understands Colin. Though Pen is objectively in the wrong but I know he'll also get where she's coming from as well.
I love how in the carriage scene, Colin has no idea she feels the same. He just puts himself and his feelings out there, and when he thinks she's rejecting him, he immediately backs off and respects her boundaries. He considers trying to convince her but decides not to, and apologizes (for making her uncomfortable, possibly). He would have gotten out of that carraige and walked home if she wanted him to.
What i love the most about Penelope and Colin is exactly that, their bond as friends. It has a lasting quality to it. I also love how Colin always seeks for her consent, seeks to see how she feels.
I really liked Lord Debling. He helped and made space for Penelope to value her true self. Glad she had that chance before getting swept up into a well deserved love match ❤
I hope you get to therapize Cressida Cowper. I think it was society who molded her into a villain. All she did was due to her family’s toxic upbringing, and ultimately out of desperation to get out of a bad situation. While I don’t excuse her past actions, I think it was only because her mind was programmed to act in that way growing up and the antagonistic values were deeply embedded in her by her toxic family and by society in general.
I was disappointed in Eloise for abandoning Cressida. Cressida was truly in a very difficult position, and Eloise should have been wroth that her friend was being forced into an abusive marriage
@@chocolate11193 I was hoping Eloise would ask help from her family to offer Cressida protection. Colin should’ve went to the Cowpers and offered Cressida some kind of plan to help her instead of giving her that speech and saying that a family’s love is enduring because nobody has any idea how truly vile her family is.
Yes please! I really loved getting to see inside Cressida's life, as we know historically this was a far more common situation than happy marriages. Even Lady Danbury had this experience in marriage rather than a happy love-match. I actually want to see Cressida end up happy in some way, but how? One (who has not read any of the books) can only wonder!
I was Penelope a few months ago. I asked my male friend if I should date again (I'm divorced), a way to check if he had feelings for me because I had feelings for him. He gave me his blessing and wished me luck 💔 Fast forward and I'm about to go on a date with this guy I've been in contact with for weeks and who makes me excited, my friend tells me he has feelings for me too and he didn't realize until I started dating again. We have been together since then and we are very happy.
Why. Oh why. Does it take that for most men? My 2 great loves of my life both ended up with that same situation. Do they just never feel their feelings?
I love Colin and Penelope's relationship- for me it is the longest lasting and strongest most realistic (to an extent) relationship Bridgeton has given us. They have been best friends since they were kids and have been unconventionally courting for the past 2 seasons. This was the first season where I actually bought the relationship- that colin and Penelope were in love with each other. The consistent consent between both of them, and the way they communicate with each other, and continued to communicate and support each other even when they were not in a good place in their relationship was done so well and in away that felt believable and helped them come across atleasrt to me like a real couple
I will never forgive the writers for not making Debling a serious love match contender for Pen. His character was almost perfect, and I wish they’d written him to put Colin’s feet to the fire and make Penelope’s decision HARD. Not only do I think that would’ve made a better story, but their chemistry and repartee was profound. And he had SO many green flags. The emotional withholding was such a disappointment.
Yeah I was swooning hard for Debling. I think it was lazy writing that he was only looking for a wife so that he'd have someone at home minding his estate - that's what a steward is for. And maybe I'm reading too much into it, but I'm sick of the stereotype that people who are interested in science don't value human relationships.
Everything Colin did in episode 4 was initiated from a single moment in episode 3. During the ballroom scene at the end of episode 3 Colin is asked by one of his admirers about the balloon incident. Her question was “where ever did you find such courage?” As she is asking Colin the question, Penelope catches his eyes (as she always does) and he states “Courage is within us all, as long as we are honest with ourselves and about our feelings.” As he speaks he is transfixed on Penelope and he is talking more to himself then the ladies surrounding him, or even Pen herself. He is talking about being honest with himself about his incredible love for Pen. Penelope hears everything he is saying, but because of her low self-esteem she has no idea that he is talking to himself about his feelings for her. Pen pauses in a moment of contemplation, makes a decision, nods to herself, and in so doing choice to give up on Colin, and then turns her back on him and towards Lord Debling in a literal and symbolic effort to close the door on any hope of her and Colin. That moment was heartbreaking to me and I felt anger and sadness in equal measure. All of his angst, rudeness, and brooding during episode 4 stems from her turning away from him and his depression simply deepens until he decides he has nothing to lose and goes to the ball to talk Pen out of marrying Lord Debling. There are key moments in life that define who you become and what life you end up with for yourself. Colin running after Pen was him final finding the courage to put himself out there to get rejected or not. Fear is what stops most of us from living the life we wish we had. Colin stepping up made me proud of his character at that moment.
In those days romantic love was never factored into the relationship. I like lord Debling, but he really didn’t love Penelope. She wanted love. With Colin she had a head and a heart match!
I wouldn't say never, just it was a secondary thought after logical good matches etc.. So much of the time people would like each other well enough but not really be super in love or passionate and just over years of marriage build a deep love for one another. Like I think Fiddler on the Roof shows this. (Not that that's set this far in the past.) Other times you'd marry your childhood sweetheart or whoever and it'd be a decent pairing so people would let it happen. Maybe the occasional elopement. That's part of what Jane Austen did in her books, she'd show marriages to these rich men that the main characters were in love with and it would be aspirational, sure, but not unheard of. The financially OK girl would sometimes marry the super rich guy and sometimes they would be in love. She also showed (usually in the side characters) other matches that were good practically but often less full of love (some of the loveless elopements, some of the loveless practical marriages, etc.). So the practical aspects of a marriage were generally prioritized but love was certainly not absent from the whole affair.
Video idea: ongoing & enthusiastic consent on the example of Polin. After a disastrous marital r*pe plot point in season 1 (that has not been addressed properly afterwards, and Simon trauma never acknowledged) the show actually did something right this time: it showed us a couple that is constantly asking permission and checking up with one another. It was so refreshing to see.
@@constancep7632 Well, there was a lot wrong with this season, but Pen and Colin and their relationship was not part of the problem. Actually, if we got more of them and less of the other stuff, the season would have been so much better.
Call me strange but I absolutely loved Debling. He was so different from other men in the show, so fresh, honest, clever, interesting, calm. I do hope we will see more of him and that he will find his true love 🥰
He doesn’t want love though and that’s his downfall. He isn’t actually offering anything emotionally in a partnership. He wants someone to sit and tend his estate, he isn’t offering any romantic fulfilment but wants them to have eyes only for him. Ironically, he would have been a great fit for Cressida because all she wants is freedom and security away from her family
@@meinkanta I think love can work in mysterious ways. And he was truly interested in Penelope and hurt when realised her heart was taken. Love can grow from respect, friendship. It’s like Lord Grawley said in Downton abbey he started loved his wife when she was pregnant with his second child, if I am not mistaken))) it was quite common. It will be interesting to see this type of love in the show not the same passions from all crack😂😂
Bridgerton is a hit and miss with me, so i was surprised by how much i liked this season. Penelope and Colin are so interesting to me and i loved them together. And their feelings, insecurities is something i liked that it was explored.
The other thing that no one ever talks about with Debling vs Colin is how alone Penelope would’ve been if she’d married Debling. She wants to marry in part to escape her own family, this is before they finally learn to support one another, we know Debling doesn’t get along with his family so she wouldn’t have in-laws to be around, and her friendship with Colin wouldn’t be appropriate after she was engaged and married, so she’d have no one while Debling was travelling. With Colin, she not only gets a love match, she also gets the Bridgerton family. She’s a part of a family she always dreamed of being a part of, I love how she phrases it in the study, the family you’ve been so kind as to share with me. With Colin her life is so full of love, in so many different ways.
This. Pen may often be alone, but she thrives on being a part of the action. It has taken so much for her to even get to the point of wanting to leave, despite the poor treatment from her family. She would wither away on Debling's estates.
This Her life is so full of love. She also got her best friend back and even healed her relationship with her family The bridgerton had been a family to her ever since she knew them and now she gets to be a real bridgerton! You could see how happy they were over their engagement. She would’ve been unbelievably lonely with deblin. I did not like him as a match for her at all although I liked the jealousy that my boy felt in all those scenes hahaha ❤
The only two things I have a problem with in Colin and Penelope's relationship are these: 1. Colin, while he loves Penelope platonically, seems to be driven toward her more by lust than by the love he already has towards her. Not to say sexual attraction isn't important in a relationship, but for that to move him more than actual love is concerning. 2. He does not propose to her before their *moment* in the carriage, meaning while she has confirmed she has feelings for him, she is still essentially obligated to accept the proposal. And while she's thrilled to, it seems a little low of Colin to think with his pants before his heart once again. I get that she consented, I get that she accepted the proposal, but the fact that he's like "well yeah, you're going to marry me" after after doing things to her that would "ruin" her in society leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
Honestly I think if you could mix universes Debling would have been better suited to Charlotte Lucas from Pride and Prejudice. Neither one terribly romantic very much practical, she had her own interests and all she really wanted was to run her own household. I think she'd have been much happier than with Mr Colin's. Re Penelope and Colin I do think they are an ideal match, they both struggle with insecurities, they both have similar interest and they both know and love each other on a deep level. Yes they have issues insecurities and secrets to deal with still, often brought about by trauma from their past, but once dealt with they can finally realise their love is true and lasting based on truly knowing each other. Would love to hear what you might think of a video called "Colin Bridgerton Character Analysis" It really delves into who Colin is and why. And his journey to knowing fully himself and Penelope.
Yup totally agree about Charlotte Lucas and Debling!! I did love the Colin character analysis... Pointed out several things I didn't think about. I think that's one of the things I really love about Polin is bcoz they've been friends for so long and know each other so well. Both have insecurities which the other helps to balance out or counteract along with similar senses of humor. I have always enjoyed the fact that they make each other laugh as much as they do. When the carriage stops in from if Bridgeton house and Colin says what he does, Penelope starts to laugh and he joins in. That scene wouldn't've been complete without it.
@@TammiTuthill Totally agree. Yes the fact that they share the same sense of humour is such a big thing. Plus they both love both speaking and listening to each other. It really is the after affects of other people's poor friends that have caused them not to trust their feelings for each other, but they tackle them ultimately head on even when they're angry and struggling and also really listen to each other then too. Definitely my favourite couple of the ones I've seen.
I've kept a tab open to that character analysis and watched it a few times. Incredible insight into Colin, his motivations and his insecurities, it's a great watch! The channel is Sammy Bates.
I like Lord Debling. He was a great match for Pen. The story never would have worked if he wasn't a great match. I loved Colin's panicked face when he thought Pen was friendzoning him 😂. After all the times he did it to her. I think Colin was oblivious to her feelings for him because his brothers told him love was like a thunderbolt. Colin himself tells us how he feels for Pen in season 2. He says something about "our friendship has developed quite naturally over the years," which is not a thunderbolt. Once she left him on read all summer, then she started to ignore him for other men he started to get jealous. Colin always asks about her chaperone, yet he completely ignores making sure she is chaperoned around him. He can not fathom anyone thinking he would be inappropriate with her. I also love the modern music they use. Yellow was the perfect song for their wedding. I also love how the kiss activated Chaos Colin. It was fun to watch. This was by far my favorite season. Polin 4ever ❤❤❤
I was honestly rooting for Lord Debling, right until he said that he was not looking for love. He was just consistently showing up from day one and he has been very clear about his intentions. His banter with Pen was also amazing and it was easy to see that he was growing fond of her. While I do love Colin, he ignored Pen for years... I wish he realized his feelings for her more naturally and not just at the moment other men became interested in her.
There's a poem called The Nantucket Girl's Song I have always loved. I really appreciate that Lord Debling wasn't turned into a stock villain just to make Colin look good. He offered something of value just as much as Colin did and it just wasn't what Pen needed. I think the story was better for not belittling her options.
Penelope and Colin’s story is my favorite love story portrayed in modern media. It has no pretense in trying to appear perfect, the characters have such trust for each other built on a years-long friendship, and both characters have shown immense growth inwardly and outwardly throughout the past three seasons. It’s great to see a healthy relationship in media, and even better to have a therapist analyze their relationship and dynamics to teach others about what healthy relationships look and feel like.
I actually liked Lord Debling and it was great to Penelope be courted and appreciated. I also loved seeing Colin jealous and tortured for a bit. However, Debling was not right for Penelope and that’s okay because she got her love match and security as Mama Featherington says. Colin and Pen are my favorite. I can’t wait to see you take on Part 2
I would love to see something about consent with Colin and Pen. Every time Colin initiates something, he asks permission. Which today, no one would bat an eye at, but 200 years ago was a bit of a foreign concept. The idea that Pen had the authority to say yes or no, and Colin gives her that.
I really did like Debling, but it’s like you said he was not a love match. It was a practical match that they both thought would work out in their favor at that time. But ultimately Colin and Pen are the true love match. Wishing all the best for Debling though, hope he is able to find someone to attend to his estate and let him backpack across Europe on his travels😂
I admit I'm a little confused as to why Debling wants to marry at all. He's not interested in romance, and he's a man so doesn't need to marry for money. He wants to travel on his own so it's not even a matter of loneliness or companionship. Did I miss something in the show?
@@360shadowmoon i believe that in all honesty he was looking for someone to take over the duties of his estate or his home since he was going to be leaving for a really long time. Even though his timing wasn’t the best I think he figured that he would try to find a wife before he left for his trip, and like any man in society I think he did genuinely have good intentions and tried to find a suitable wife despite him leaving. Someone that would be able to have their own interests, which led him to Penelope! But yeah I agree I don’t think he was seeking a love match, but he did genuinely like Penelope as a persons But yeah it was sad that when she asked him if love could grow he basically said no😭 but at least he was honest lmao
@@360shadowmoonhe’s a lord which implies that he’s a first born son so probably also wants to marry to produce an heir and continue his family line. I don’t know that he’d be interested in being a father since it sounds like he wants to travel a lot, and he’s more practical than emotionally driven, but likely understands that he need to produce an heir who can take over when he passes. He mentions his family and not getting along with them but it’s unclear whether he has any other brothers who could take over the estate should he pass without an heir.
What are your thoughts on when Colin learns about the Lady Whistledown secret, and how he navigates it with Penelope? This could be an interesting thing to discuss. :)
I am grateful to the actors and the creators of the film for making such a masterpiece out of this story and giving so much joy and hope to their viewers. It could have been very bad, but thank God it didn't happen.
Funny after hearing colin talk last season pen gave up on pining for this man. There was no hope so you might as well go for a practical match that treats you better than colin. But the moment she didn't think anything of it her actions kinda seduced him. She didn't intend to but her actions kinda had an effect. * he took her for granted for years but her basically gh^sting him all summer made him value what he had, cause he can lose it. The lose of pen made him put on the emotion arm*ur, cause it hurt him deeply. But still colin didn't realise why that hurt him so. * her expressing her anger towards him was her setting a bound*ry. She deserves to be treated with respect and his actions last season weren't ok. Pen lets everyone treat her badly but with colin she set a bound*ry. You see him start to think of her wellbeing. What does she want and how can I redeem myself? Guess what pen isn't an object but an actual person with feeling. Who knew?! * him having front row seats watching her date. Surprise she is a girl, who knew?! And seeing other men show an interest in her. These men are about to take away his pen for good. Made him feel a little territorial. He didn't like that feeling but still didn't realise why. * the kiss on the other hand. Well those are horm*nes and pretty hard to ignore. He tried to stick his head in the sand by going to the professionals and get pen out of his head. Thinking the cause is physical instead of emotional. But with the professionals he couldn't do anything cause it just felt wrong. He couldn't even look at other women anymore. Whoops. He is still trying to feel less though. Insecure about what he should do and if he should wreck his friendship. * but violet knows her boy. She basically told him, its wrecked either way. Do nothing and she will marry debling and you will lose her tonight. So if you like her, step up or move to the side and let debling marry her. That is how you get out of the friendzone. Also colin man-ed up this season. I won't spoil part 2 but you can clearly see a divide between part 1 and 2, boy and man. His thought process is totally different. 👍😃
They did Lord Debling dirty. I married MY "Lord Debling" & fell even more in love with him after we were married. If I'd ended up with my "Colin," it... would not have gone well.
I like Lord Debling, but his view on love, that it's finite and his work takes up all the space available, makes me very sad. One can love multiple people and things at once in so many different ways.
She also takes compliments as backhanded comments. Marina and Edwina (& probably others) both compliment her and it comes from genuine kindness and honesty but she doesn't believe that they actually mean it and aren't secretly laughing at her.
I adore Colin and Penelope! I think they have such a beatuiful, healthy relationship! And you can tell they just like spending time together which I think is the most important thing. Plus, their chemistry is crazy good! My favorite Bridgerton ship for sure!
Colin handled it better than I did when I made a move on my friend when we were 17. We'd been friends for over a year and he made me laugh really hard one day, then I just kissed him. In my mind I was screaming "what are you doing?!" it was so impulsive, I never do anything impulsive! But, luckily for me he liked me too and hadn't known how to approach it. I guess it worked ok, we've been together ever since and we're 37 now!! I think friendship is a solid way to build on a love relationship. I love him more than anything. When we argue we always go back to "you're my best friend. How do friends resolve this issue"
I really like Lord Debling, but I feel like he's going to have a very hard time finding a wife that is genuinely satisfied with having him away for years at a time and won't have a wandering eye, but is still happy to see him (and bed him) when he's back. That has to be incredibly rare. I think he'd have better luck finding an eccentric woman who loves animals and traveling and would go with him on his journey.
I'd take such a man in a heartbeat; to have the security of a grand estate, privacy from your toxic family, and the option to either live a private life (like Lady Danbury) or adventure with your handsome husband?! Dream life!
I don’t know; I think Cressida could have been a good match for him. She wasn’t looking for love either - she just wanted to be away from London and taken care of. Debling would have been good to her and treated her well, which is more than she could say about her parents. And she probably wouldn’t have minded if he was away for extended periods of time. And in regards to fidelity, while I can see Cressida looking elsewhere for companionship or friendship, since we never actually see her being sexually seductive (manipulative, yes. Seductive, no), I don’t know that she’d be the type to be unfaithful.
@@piratefrenchey6222that’s how most characters start in a romance show/movie, then they meet their person who they feel genuinely passionate about. It’s like a feeling you can’t know until you feel it
@@bethanyhait6880 Debling was looking for maturity, integrity and honor. He may have been a good match for Cressida, but Cressida was decidedly not what Debling was looking for in a partner.
I like how Colin and Penelope's story plays out like a romance novel more than a period piece because they always bonded over writing. The ketters to each other while Colin is away. When Pen reads Colin's journal and compliments him on his writing.
Polin, Penelope and Colin, are my favorites. Very much like what you said at the end the foundation of love on friendship because if you don't have, it wont work and they have it.
I don't think guys think about it, that pause...if she's as lost in your eyes as she is in yours, and a witness has to ahem at you to bring you both back to the rest of the world, and she slow blinks at you while smiling... you at least know it's time to ask her out. It's the pause that gives her the room to choose to see if you're compatable.
It was so hard for me to get into the Bridgerton world this season (maybe because of the costumes??)… I kept thinking for a woman in that era, Debbling really is an ideal match. I know Bridgerton has created a fantasy world where love matches were more attainable and desirable, but given the complete lack of rights women had within marriage, he’s offering essentially freedom. Pen ended up with a choice between two ideals in the Bridgerton world, but realistically Colin could at any time make Pen stop writing since she would be his property. But Debbling would be out of town for years without knowing or even caring while Pen ran the estate and her business.
Good grief, the algorithms have failed me for not showing me these sooner. I enjoy Bridgerton waaaaay too much (it's third behind Firefly and Ted Lasso.) So it's so fun to be able to geek out about it with someone else who has an accountability kink.
The Anakin-Padme and Colin-Pen comparison was spot on. Surly Ani was much more unstable mentally than Colin, having a very morphed idea of love, but this would have made his character better, made him more human and 3dimentional, making his turn to the dark side even sadder
At the beginning when Penelope meets Deblin it really looks like they're gonna be a fine match, especially because he made her feel seen for the first time, which was great for her self steem and also made Colin wake up 😂 but in the long term I believe it wouldn't work. Honestly, I think she would have married him anyway just to get rid of her family but she'd never be satisfied, wishing for the love he couldn't give her. That being said, thank God Colin did something! They're alike in many ways (their passions, their personalities, their insecurities) and the friendship they have only makes their love stronger. They were just meant to be ❤
The fact that Debling recognizes that and wants to ensure Pen's happiness is a testament to his integrity and character. Great writing; I hope we get to see Debling in future seasons.
First thank you for covering this triangle. I know Polin was endgame this season, but I actually liked Pen and Lord Debling as a better couple. Despite years if friendship, Colin in this season (to me) never say Pen in the same light as Lord Debling did. Lord Debling was interested in her passion for books while Colin called them "silly". And yes okay Lord Debling gave her a plant, but I saw that as him trying bring their two worlds (his of nature and her of books) together. And I think what people miss when asked about if Love could grow, Lord Debling didn't flat out say "No never", he said he wasn't sure. I believe there could be a slow burn love between Pen and Debling. And if we remember back in season 2, Anthony was very much like that too. And I think it would be nice for change where Pen lets go of her crush/love and let herself move on and find a different kind of love. From my understanding one of the other Bridgerton siblings falls in love though written letters, the same could be true for Pen and Debling if they were given the chance in an AU timeline of the show. That said I'm also glad they didn't make him secretly evil or anything, he just knew Pen's heart was elsewhere and accepted that like a gentleman. Anyway great analysis for this video.
Of course, Colin didn't see Pen the same as Debling. He's known her basically their whole lives. He called Eloise's romance book silly because that's what Eloise would have called it. How she has always felt about romance and such things. Colin likes books and is literally also a writer and very clearly a romantic. And in fact the writing of letters between Pen and Colin is part of the reason he fell in love with her. You can see the way he looks at her when he's back and the way he talks about her letters. The fact that she didn't write to him that summer is the catalyst for everything. He completely lost himself because of it. That's why he came back with an entirely different personality trying to be someone completely different unaffected by such things. But it's rereading the letters she's sent him throughout the years (which were in his travel bag mind you, he's carried them everywhere with him) that he realizes he's loved the side of her that is LW all along. That she's always been the same and he's known that part of her already. As for Debling it takes a year for him to get where he's going. It would take a year for the letter to get there and a another for it to get back. Also the voyage he's going on is famous for no one making back alive during those times. So not even letters would have saved the match of Pen and Debling.
Lord Debling was definitely a man who knew what he wanted didn't care what others thought and went for it no games. Penelope loved Colin too much to be happy with anyone else and he finally realized his feelings for Penelope and maned up.
The honest communication with Lord Debling likely gave her the courage and the knowledge that she had to take the risk. “I didn’t ask if it was a possibility, I asked if you’d like it to be one” is one of my favorite lines.
I was really sad that Debling and Cressida didn’t end up together in the end. She wasn’t always a mean girl, and she needs the freedom from her parents to grow into herself. Debling could give her the room to do that, but it sadly didn’t happen.
I wonder how Lord Debling would have reacted to learning she is Whistledown. While I want to like him more, he asks a great deal of the person he wants to marry. He should really be conducting interviews. He doesn't think he will fall in love; he will be away for years. I presume he wants an heir so he will be coming back to a woman he spends practically no time with the expectations she will go through the motions of sex to become pregnant. Will he give up his travels to see to the raising of his children? When he stops his explorations, he won't know his family at all. They would have created an entire life without him. He's not even a good match for Cressida because she is too much of what he doesn't like in society. He might be a good match for Eloise.
He's asking a lot for a MODERN woman. For a Regency-era woman, his expectations - sex without romantic love, children without him present as an active parent - are par for the course. The vast majority of women are already marrying into those expectations, BUT Debling is offering an extremely high degree of independence and self-determination in return. For a modern woman, that independence and self-determination is our birthright; we should rightly look askance at any partner who would try to take it away from us. But for an unmarried Regency woman, she's never had that and likely won't have that in any other relationship. Debling is actually an amazing catch... for the right person. As another commenter pointed out, he's essentially Charlotte Lucas from Pride and Prejudice's ideal man.
They were not in love 😔 Lord Dedling was about to leave her alone for three whole years. Furthermore, he told Penelope that he would probably never love her, because he already loved his life and being outdoors. Penelope would never be happy, being more alone than she already is.
I really liked Lord Debling. I thought he was sweet, thoughtful, kind, accepting, and handsome. He was genuinely an awesome guy! But I like Penelope and Colin's relationship because it was better FOR THEM. Penelope just didn't have that extra spark with Lord Debling, and that was something she really wanted. I also think that it's great to show a potential partner that isn't necessarily "bad", but just not right. Lord Debling is still a catch, but just not right for Penelope, which is a real thing that happens to real people, and I think that's a really mature and complex situation that unfortunately isn't represented in media as often as cheap, simple drama.
Lord Debling if he weren't galivanting off to the Arctic to die would be a good match for Penelope. They like one another, they are intellectual equals, he respects Penelope and he cares about what is best for her. Lord Debling is older and would be more patient with Penelope in a marriage of convenience. What I love about Colin Bridgerton is that once he makes a decision he doesn't hesitate and goes after what he wants. All the Bridgerton men and women have that character trait. That is why in the carriage scene Colin deliberately compromises Penelope by doing more than just kissing her. He has to convince Pen that he is serious about her and gives her a taste of what passion with him can be like. Otherwise, Penelope may find some else to marry her since Colin has shown no signs of wanting to be in a committed relationship with her.
I love Polin (I'm a huge sucker for friends to lovers), but I wish we could have gotten a flashback of their first meeting instead of just hearing about it!
I loved that he narrated it because it showed how important pen was to him even if he didn’t know his own feelings… All the while we saw pen pine for him, so having him remember such a beautiful encounter warmed my heart
While I loved Colin and Penelope together, I wish that they'd been more central in their own season, and not played second fiddle to the other characters.
If I'd been born in a time and class wherein I had to basically get married or run away (which I'd totally do if I didn't love my fam) AND there was nobody I was in love with (such as Colin) then I think I'd be more than alright to wed someone like Debling. Someone patient, kind, and who respects who I am and also finds me interesting and I feel likewise towards them. Pen is such a romantic though. Even if Colin weren't in the story she'd always have wanted a true and passionate love story to be hers. And I can't fault her for that. I ship Polin, obviously but I think Lord Debling deserves his props.
I think Lord Debling turned out to be not a match in the plot just because it is written Pen just has stronger feelings for Colin. But in real life, I think he would be a better match because Colin never really respected Pen as a romantic equal, so even if Pen had stronger feelings for Colin, the relationship dynamic is not as good. I'm Team Debling!
I loved lord Debling. I was worried about a love triangle when I first saw the trailer but they didn’t make him the bad guy. I love the way hé left, telling her he homes she’ll be happy. I was very sad that we disn’t him in thé 2nd part of thé season!
The "I won't fall in love with you" from Debling was only thrown in, so we wouldn't all find him superior to Colin, you can't change my mind. #LordDeblingSupremacy
My problem with Lord Debling was when he learned that she's had feelings for Colin -- and what he says is essentially that he doesn't know if he can ever love her but he doesn't want her to ever love anyone else. To me, that's a huge problem.
He's honest with her in that he doesn't know if he can love her, but he's also honest in the fact that he's looking for someone in the same boat. Pen is not in that boat. You're assuming that whomever he marries will be in Pen's same situation, and fall in love. Thus if he doesn't fall in love with them, then they should be free to love another. There are many women out there who would be content to marry for security and practicality, and would be able to get along just fine if he didn't fall in love with them. Pen is not one of those people, and we know that. When he sees that, he breaks it off. It would be more problematic if he did not. He's willing to take a chance with Pen that the love might grow (before Colin interrupts), but once it becomes clear that she's settling for him, and there is actually a possibility of her dream (as demonstrated by Colin's actions), regardless of whether she sees it or not, he let's her go.
I actually really like Lord Debling. He seems super kind, he has a sense of humor about himself and he’s smart. He cares about the world. I hope he ends up with a happy ending, idk if the books ever elaborated on his story. If Cressida wasn’t such a butt head, I would’ve said I’d like them together even because they had a few moments that were genuine. But ultimately she’s a jerk lol
I read a take that said Debling is perfect for Lady Whistledown, but Colin is perfect for Penelope. Pen always wanted a love match. Debling couldn’t promise that. And would likely try to keep her from her friend Colin because of their history.
I really liked Debling, and I think he and Pen would have been a good match. Sure, Colin is her true love, so I am of course happy they got together, but still. I think Debling and Pen could have made it work. Maybe not love, but at least deep and honest friendship. But it also reminded me of Queen Charlottes line in, well 😄, "Queen Charlotte", when she told her son before his wedding that love is something you can choose: "Love is determination. Love is a choice one makes. You take someone in marriage, and you choose to love them. You do not give yourself any other option." I think both Pen and Debling would have been able and willing to do that. --- The music in the carriage scene was so absolutely gorgeous and perfect and fitting. I don't think this could have been done any better. --- "This is a much better version of Anakin's fireside speech to Padme." God, you are such a nerd! 😄🥰
"Backseat carriage groping.." haha I love it so so much! This is the first season I've actually yelled at the screen and had so much invested. Just wished they gave them more time and really developed their personal relationship but it felt so rushed.
It would be great if you talked about Colin and all his insecurities this season.. From Pen no longer writing to him and feeling alone coming back with a whole new fake persona to his insecurities anout Pen loving him back to before finding out about LW to them being compounded After he finds out. And his jealously about her being a writer. We dont focus too much on Colin unfortunately but his whole emotional journey this season is so good.
I find Debling selfish. She tells him she enjoys love stories but he sees that as her hobby? Eww, his behavior would make more sense if he knew she was lady whistledown. That is why it makes sense from her perspective but to want a wife for the sole purpose of running the estate? Nope pay someone to do your work while you are off living your best life.
I’ve always been a firm believer that a good marriage is a combination of a sold friendship and those “love feelings” (sexual attraction, affection, etc) because you need a strong relationship beyond that initial honeymoon phase and sex if you want the relationship to succeed! Of course a dash of practical thinking is needed too, because you can truly love someone but then come to the sad conclusion and truth that because of certain factors your relationship just isn’t going to work! (And those factors can be a lot of things.)
My one issue with Colin was that he did not see Penelope as a viable option in the beginning. It wasn't because they were "just friends," but he friend-zoned her based off of her looks/level of attraction. Her perception by society dictated his desire to do this. I don't think there's anything wrong with not being attracted to someone. I think it's important for your partner to be excited about you from the beginning. When you tell your kids about how you met and knew this person was the one, you want to say "I knew from the moment I met her that she was special." You don't want to hear, "yeah I friend zoned her because she was short and chubby and society taught me that tall, thin girls are supposed to be the prettiest. I think Penelope deserve to be cherished and given attention/affection. Lord Debling couldn't meet that requirement due to his insular nature and desire to be away constantly. I really liked how genuine he was and how he liked Penelope from the get go. There was no disgust, awkward staring, etc...he just thought she was special from the beginning. I feel like he respected her from the moment he met her and you really need that. I'm not 100% team Colin/Penelope, but also don't think Debling was the right match.
I really like what you said about how you need love but really you need, trust, respect, safety and similar wants in life. I broke off a relationship of 2.5 years with my BF. I loved him, but he did not respect me how I needed (and he said sorry and wanted to fix it) but I didnt want to have to teach someone how they should teach me. And secondly, I want a family in my life, and although he does too, it's more a secondary thought. He wants lots of $ and cars first. And I decided, even if he had treated me well, the fact we have separate goals in life was a good sign we were not compatible
I don't think debling and Penelope would have made it in the long run. I'm so much happier with Colin, but if debling is still available... I'll take him. He's my perfect person 😅
Hey, I saw a clip in this video from one day at a time and there is so much to therapize in that series, which would be amazing to see. Especially the Lydia/Penelope relationships and Lydias view on the divorce. Maybe when you are done with Bridgerton?
One thing I would say is for me there is an entirely different set of 'rules' and expectations for friendship and for romantic relationship. It is NOT as simple as friendship + passion = true love.
I love this channel and all you do--may I suggest with the best of intentions that a visible chair (something with a back) would make the frame look a little more structured? You seem ill at ease on the stool sometimes THANK YOU for your thoughtful work in any seat!
![ทุกครั้งที่หลับตา (Lucid Dream) - AYLA's [ Official MV ]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/4i1OBAQyv58/mqdefault.jpg)
One of my favorite moments is watching Colin accept Penelope’s implied “no” when she says, “Colin, we’re friends”. Such a beautiful example of handling rejection with grace and respect. No arguing, no pressure, no lashing out. Just a moment of crushing disappointment and disbelief, and then, “Of course. Forgive me. I don’t know what I was thinking.“
Massive green flag
@@mecohano Colin is a walking green flag to me - best partner so far imo
@@rubysmolen5155 No question. Such the best egg.
That man is the greenest of all the green flags!
It can’t get no better than him!!!!❤
I REALLY liked it when Debling said "I didn't ask if it was a possibility, I asked if you would like it be" because it shows that Debling really respects Pen & that he is capable of trusting her. In Colin's defense, yes he did interrupt their dance, angered Debling, and put Pen's proposal in jeopardy but that question centers around HER feelings (similar to when women say "I am not interested" when rejecting someone vs saying "I have a bf", assuming of course there's no immediate danger). So for Debling, even if Colin WERE to have feelings, if Pen doesn't reciprocate, then he can trust her to turn him down & not cheat. Ultimately, what ruined the proposal wasn't Colin, but Pen not being able to lie about having feelings for Colin. Debling is a GREAT & honest man, and I really do like it when there's a love triangle and nobody has to be a bad guy for them to not be chosen. Here, it's simply that Pen wants love and she's still in love with Colin.
I do think Polin is a very healthy & loving relationship but as Jonathan will see later, they are still flawed characters living in a society that is extremely judgemental & restrictive. This something that I think people need to remember ALSO applies to Colin, who deep down is much more different than his brothers, not just Pen.
The fact that Jonathan loves Colin and Pen makes me so happy ❤
Hopefully he loves thenm in part 2, I am scared 😭😭
@@ru3144 Me too, but I have faith in Jono. I think he understands Colin. Though Pen is objectively in the wrong but I know he'll also get where she's coming from as well.
I love how in the carriage scene, Colin has no idea she feels the same. He just puts himself and his feelings out there, and when he thinks she's rejecting him, he immediately backs off and respects her boundaries. He considers trying to convince her but decides not to, and apologizes (for making her uncomfortable, possibly). He would have gotten out of that carraige and walked home if she wanted him to.
What i love the most about Penelope and Colin is exactly that, their bond as friends. It has a lasting quality to it. I also love how Colin always seeks for her consent, seeks to see how she feels.
I like Lord Debling: He took the rejection like a true gentleman.
I really liked Lord Debling. He helped and made space for Penelope to value her true self. Glad she had that chance before getting swept up into a well deserved love match ❤
I hope you get to therapize Cressida Cowper. I think it was society who molded her into a villain. All she did was due to her family’s toxic upbringing, and ultimately out of desperation to get out of a bad situation. While I don’t excuse her past actions, I think it was only because her mind was programmed to act in that way growing up and the antagonistic values were deeply embedded in her by her toxic family and by society in general.
I was disappointed in Eloise for abandoning Cressida. Cressida was truly in a very difficult position, and Eloise should have been wroth that her friend was being forced into an abusive marriage
@@chocolate11193 Its what she do. Did the same to Penelope 😏
@@chocolate11193 I was hoping Eloise would ask help from her family to offer Cressida protection. Colin should’ve went to the Cowpers and offered Cressida some kind of plan to help her instead of giving her that speech and saying that a family’s love is enduring because nobody has any idea how truly vile her family is.
She seems inspired by Miss Bingley…
Yes please! I really loved getting to see inside Cressida's life, as we know historically this was a far more common situation than happy marriages. Even Lady Danbury had this experience in marriage rather than a happy love-match. I actually want to see Cressida end up happy in some way, but how? One (who has not read any of the books) can only wonder!
I was Penelope a few months ago. I asked my male friend if I should date again (I'm divorced), a way to check if he had feelings for me because I had feelings for him. He gave me his blessing and wished me luck 💔 Fast forward and I'm about to go on a date with this guy I've been in contact with for weeks and who makes me excited, my friend tells me he has feelings for me too and he didn't realize until I started dating again. We have been together since then and we are very happy.
I too married my best friend after long time being friends.
Why. Oh why. Does it take that for most men? My 2 great loves of my life both ended up with that same situation. Do they just never feel their feelings?
I love Colin and Penelope's relationship- for me it is the longest lasting and strongest most realistic (to an extent) relationship Bridgeton has given us. They have been best friends since they were kids and have been unconventionally courting for the past 2 seasons. This was the first season where I actually bought the relationship- that colin and Penelope were in love with each other. The consistent consent between both of them, and the way they communicate with each other, and continued to communicate and support each other even when they were not in a good place in their relationship was done so well and in away that felt believable and helped them come across atleasrt to me like a real couple
I will never forgive the writers for not making Debling a serious love match contender for Pen. His character was almost perfect, and I wish they’d written him to put Colin’s feet to the fire and make Penelope’s decision HARD. Not only do I think that would’ve made a better story, but their chemistry and repartee was profound. And he had SO many green flags. The emotional withholding was such a disappointment.
Yeah I was swooning hard for Debling. I think it was lazy writing that he was only looking for a wife so that he'd have someone at home minding his estate - that's what a steward is for. And maybe I'm reading too much into it, but I'm sick of the stereotype that people who are interested in science don't value human relationships.
@@earthaforester3141 preach!!
Everything Colin did in episode 4 was initiated from a single moment in episode 3. During the ballroom scene at the end of episode 3 Colin is asked by one of his admirers about the balloon incident. Her question was “where ever did you find such courage?” As she is asking Colin the question, Penelope catches his eyes (as she always does) and he states “Courage is within us all, as long as we are honest with ourselves and about our feelings.” As he speaks he is transfixed on Penelope and he is talking more to himself then the ladies surrounding him, or even Pen herself. He is talking about being honest with himself about his incredible love for Pen. Penelope hears everything he is saying, but because of her low self-esteem she has no idea that he is talking to himself about his feelings for her. Pen pauses in a moment of contemplation, makes a decision, nods to herself, and in so doing choice to give up on Colin, and then turns her back on him and towards Lord Debling in a literal and symbolic effort to close the door on any hope of her and Colin. That moment was heartbreaking to me and I felt anger and sadness in equal measure. All of his angst, rudeness, and brooding during episode 4 stems from her turning away from him and his depression simply deepens until he decides he has nothing to lose and goes to the ball to talk Pen out of marrying Lord Debling. There are key moments in life that define who you become and what life you end up with for yourself. Colin running after Pen was him final finding the courage to put himself out there to get rejected or not. Fear is what stops most of us from living the life we wish we had. Colin stepping up made me proud of his character at that moment.
Wow. You blew my mind with this. Very true. Thank you for broadening my perspective regarding Colin's feelings for my beloved Penelope.
In those days romantic love was never factored into the relationship. I like lord Debling, but he really didn’t love Penelope. She wanted love. With Colin she had a head and a heart match!
I wouldn't say never, just it was a secondary thought after logical good matches etc.. So much of the time people would like each other well enough but not really be super in love or passionate and just over years of marriage build a deep love for one another. Like I think Fiddler on the Roof shows this. (Not that that's set this far in the past.) Other times you'd marry your childhood sweetheart or whoever and it'd be a decent pairing so people would let it happen. Maybe the occasional elopement. That's part of what Jane Austen did in her books, she'd show marriages to these rich men that the main characters were in love with and it would be aspirational, sure, but not unheard of. The financially OK girl would sometimes marry the super rich guy and sometimes they would be in love. She also showed (usually in the side characters) other matches that were good practically but often less full of love (some of the loveless elopements, some of the loveless practical marriages, etc.). So the practical aspects of a marriage were generally prioritized but love was certainly not absent from the whole affair.
Video idea: ongoing & enthusiastic consent on the example of Polin.
After a disastrous marital r*pe plot point in season 1 (that has not been addressed properly afterwards, and Simon trauma never acknowledged) the show actually did something right this time: it showed us a couple that is constantly asking permission and checking up with one another. It was so refreshing to see.
YES! I loved that so much.
True. It was beautiful to see.
Thank you for bringing it up. I see so many people in the fandom hating on season 3, saying that season 1 was the best... which I find horrifying.
@@constancep7632 Well, there was a lot wrong with this season, but Pen and Colin and their relationship was not part of the problem. Actually, if we got more of them and less of the other stuff, the season would have been so much better.
YES! That is an awesome idea! 🤩
Call me strange but I absolutely loved Debling. He was so different from other men in the show, so fresh, honest, clever, interesting, calm. I do hope we will see more of him and that he will find his true love 🥰
He doesn’t want love though and that’s his downfall. He isn’t actually offering anything emotionally in a partnership. He wants someone to sit and tend his estate, he isn’t offering any romantic fulfilment but wants them to have eyes only for him. Ironically, he would have been a great fit for Cressida because all she wants is freedom and security away from her family
Yes! Debling was the most interesting part in this season, to me personally. So many of the characters seemed so silly in this season.
@meinkanta while Debling may not be offering a love match, I'm sure he isn't looking for a cold hearted b*tch.
@@meinkanta I think love can work in mysterious ways. And he was truly interested in Penelope and hurt when realised her heart was taken. Love can grow from respect, friendship. It’s like Lord Grawley said in Downton abbey he started loved his wife when she was pregnant with his second child, if I am not mistaken))) it was quite common. It will be interesting to see this type of love in the show not the same passions from all crack😂😂
That's why he should've married Cressida.
Bridgerton is a hit and miss with me, so i was surprised by how much i liked this season. Penelope and Colin are so interesting to me and i loved them together. And their feelings, insecurities is something i liked that it was explored.
The other thing that no one ever talks about with Debling vs Colin is how alone Penelope would’ve been if she’d married Debling. She wants to marry in part to escape her own family, this is before they finally learn to support one another, we know Debling doesn’t get along with his family so she wouldn’t have in-laws to be around, and her friendship with Colin wouldn’t be appropriate after she was engaged and married, so she’d have no one while Debling was travelling.
With Colin, she not only gets a love match, she also gets the Bridgerton family. She’s a part of a family she always dreamed of being a part of, I love how she phrases it in the study, the family you’ve been so kind as to share with me. With Colin her life is so full of love, in so many different ways.
This. Pen may often be alone, but she thrives on being a part of the action. It has taken so much for her to even get to the point of wanting to leave, despite the poor treatment from her family. She would wither away on Debling's estates.
This
Her life is so full of love. She also got her best friend back and even healed her relationship with her family
The bridgerton had been a family to her ever since she knew them and now she gets to be a real bridgerton! You could see how happy they were over their engagement.
She would’ve been unbelievably lonely with deblin. I did not like him as a match for her at all although I liked the jealousy that my boy felt in all those scenes hahaha ❤
The best match for Debling is someone looking for a lavender marriage. 😏
The only two things I have a problem with in Colin and Penelope's relationship are these:
1. Colin, while he loves Penelope platonically, seems to be driven toward her more by lust than by the love he already has towards her. Not to say sexual attraction isn't important in a relationship, but for that to move him more than actual love is concerning.
2. He does not propose to her before their *moment* in the carriage, meaning while she has confirmed she has feelings for him, she is still essentially obligated to accept the proposal. And while she's thrilled to, it seems a little low of Colin to think with his pants before his heart once again. I get that she consented, I get that she accepted the proposal, but the fact that he's like "well yeah, you're going to marry me" after after doing things to her that would "ruin" her in society leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
Honestly I think if you could mix universes Debling would have been better suited to Charlotte Lucas from Pride and Prejudice. Neither one terribly romantic very much practical, she had her own interests and all she really wanted was to run her own household. I think she'd have been much happier than with Mr Colin's.
Re Penelope and Colin I do think they are an ideal match, they both struggle with insecurities, they both have similar interest and they both know and love each other on a deep level. Yes they have issues insecurities and secrets to deal with still, often brought about by trauma from their past, but once dealt with they can finally realise their love is true and lasting based on truly knowing each other.
Would love to hear what you might think of a video called "Colin Bridgerton Character Analysis" It really delves into who Colin is and why. And his journey to knowing fully himself and Penelope.
Yup totally agree about Charlotte Lucas and Debling!! I did love the Colin character analysis... Pointed out several things I didn't think about. I think that's one of the things I really love about Polin is bcoz they've been friends for so long and know each other so well. Both have insecurities which the other helps to balance out or counteract along with similar senses of humor. I have always enjoyed the fact that they make each other laugh as much as they do. When the carriage stops in from if Bridgeton house and Colin says what he does, Penelope starts to laugh and he joins in. That scene wouldn't've been complete without it.
@@TammiTuthill Totally agree. Yes the fact that they share the same sense of humour is such a big thing. Plus they both love both speaking and listening to each other. It really is the after affects of other people's poor friends that have caused them not to trust their feelings for each other, but they tackle them ultimately head on even when they're angry and struggling and also really listen to each other then too.
Definitely my favourite couple of the ones I've seen.
I've kept a tab open to that character analysis and watched it a few times. Incredible insight into Colin, his motivations and his insecurities, it's a great watch! The channel is Sammy Bates.
Charlotte Lucas and Debling! I'm so onboard! 🙌🏻
That would leave Mr. Collins with Mary. Another Benet-sister married! ❤️
Colin and Penelope are so adorable together
I like Lord Debling. He was a great match for Pen. The story never would have worked if he wasn't a great match. I loved Colin's panicked face when he thought Pen was friendzoning him 😂. After all the times he did it to her. I think Colin was oblivious to her feelings for him because his brothers told him love was like a thunderbolt. Colin himself tells us how he feels for Pen in season 2. He says something about "our friendship has developed quite naturally over the years," which is not a thunderbolt. Once she left him on read all summer, then she started to ignore him for other men he started to get jealous. Colin always asks about her chaperone, yet he completely ignores making sure she is chaperoned around him. He can not fathom anyone thinking he would be inappropriate with her. I also love the modern music they use. Yellow was the perfect song for their wedding. I also love how the kiss activated Chaos Colin. It was fun to watch. This was by far my favorite season. Polin 4ever ❤❤❤
my favorite season too
Mine too ❤😊
I like Debling but Penelope wanted love and Colin loves her. And i like Colin more too. Lol
I was honestly rooting for Lord Debling, right until he said that he was not looking for love. He was just consistently showing up from day one and he has been very clear about his intentions. His banter with Pen was also amazing and it was easy to see that he was growing fond of her. While I do love Colin, he ignored Pen for years... I wish he realized his feelings for her more naturally and not just at the moment other men became interested in her.
Fair point.
There's a poem called The Nantucket Girl's Song I have always loved. I really appreciate that Lord Debling wasn't turned into a stock villain just to make Colin look good. He offered something of value just as much as Colin did and it just wasn't what Pen needed. I think the story was better for not belittling her options.
Pen's options weren't the weak characters her sisters married. Both suitors were smart, wealthy and handsome.
We all like Lord Debling, and we're hoping he'll meet someone soon he'll be happy with.
I love how the fireplace behind Jono makes it look like he has wings. In many ways, he is an angel.
Penelope and Colin’s story is my favorite love story portrayed in modern media. It has no pretense in trying to appear perfect, the characters have such trust for each other built on a years-long friendship, and both characters have shown immense growth inwardly and outwardly throughout the past three seasons. It’s great to see a healthy relationship in media, and even better to have a therapist analyze their relationship and dynamics to teach others about what healthy relationships look and feel like.
I actually liked Lord Debling and it was great to Penelope be courted and appreciated. I also loved seeing Colin jealous and tortured for a bit. However, Debling was not right for Penelope and that’s okay because she got her love match and security as Mama Featherington says. Colin and Pen are my favorite. I can’t wait to see you take on Part 2
I can't wait for you to watch and go over part, but there is so much to discuss and therapize with Polin and Pen/Eloise.
Yesssssss!!! I love that you’re talking about these two! They’re my favorite couple of Bridgerton haha
I would love to see something about consent with Colin and Pen. Every time Colin initiates something, he asks permission. Which today, no one would bat an eye at, but 200 years ago was a bit of a foreign concept. The idea that Pen had the authority to say yes or no, and Colin gives her that.
I really did like Debling, but it’s like you said he was not a love match. It was a practical match that they both thought would work out in their favor at that time. But ultimately Colin and Pen are the true love match. Wishing all the best for Debling though, hope he is able to find someone to attend to his estate and let him backpack across Europe on his travels😂
I admit I'm a little confused as to why Debling wants to marry at all. He's not interested in romance, and he's a man so doesn't need to marry for money. He wants to travel on his own so it's not even a matter of loneliness or companionship. Did I miss something in the show?
@@360shadowmoon i believe that in all honesty he was looking for someone to take over the duties of his estate or his home since he was going to be leaving for a really long time. Even though his timing wasn’t the best I think he figured that he would try to find a wife before he left for his trip, and like any man in society I think he did genuinely have good intentions and tried to find a suitable wife despite him leaving. Someone that would be able to have their own interests, which led him to Penelope! But yeah I agree I don’t think he was seeking a love match, but he did genuinely like Penelope as a persons But yeah it was sad that when she asked him if love could grow he basically said no😭 but at least he was honest lmao
@@360shadowmoonhe’s a lord which implies that he’s a first born son so probably also wants to marry to produce an heir and continue his family line. I don’t know that he’d be interested in being a father since it sounds like he wants to travel a lot, and he’s more practical than emotionally driven, but likely understands that he need to produce an heir who can take over when he passes. He mentions his family and not getting along with them but it’s unclear whether he has any other brothers who could take over the estate should he pass without an heir.
Or… he just not into women, but needs a cover and an heir.
What are your thoughts on when Colin learns about the Lady Whistledown secret, and how he navigates it with Penelope? This could be an interesting thing to discuss. :)
I am grateful to the actors and the creators of the film for making such a masterpiece out of this story and giving so much joy and hope to their viewers. It could have been very bad, but thank God it didn't happen.
Funny after hearing colin talk last season pen gave up on pining for this man. There was no hope so you might as well go for a practical match that treats you better than colin. But the moment she didn't think anything of it her actions kinda seduced him. She didn't intend to but her actions kinda had an effect.
* he took her for granted for years but her basically gh^sting him all summer made him value what he had, cause he can lose it. The lose of pen made him put on the emotion arm*ur, cause it hurt him deeply. But still colin didn't realise why that hurt him so.
* her expressing her anger towards him was her setting a bound*ry. She deserves to be treated with respect and his actions last season weren't ok. Pen lets everyone treat her badly but with colin she set a bound*ry. You see him start to think of her wellbeing. What does she want and how can I redeem myself? Guess what pen isn't an object but an actual person with feeling. Who knew?!
* him having front row seats watching her date. Surprise she is a girl, who knew?! And seeing other men show an interest in her. These men are about to take away his pen for good. Made him feel a little territorial. He didn't like that feeling but still didn't realise why.
* the kiss on the other hand. Well those are horm*nes and pretty hard to ignore. He tried to stick his head in the sand by going to the professionals and get pen out of his head. Thinking the cause is physical instead of emotional. But with the professionals he couldn't do anything cause it just felt wrong. He couldn't even look at other women anymore. Whoops. He is still trying to feel less though. Insecure about what he should do and if he should wreck his friendship.
* but violet knows her boy. She basically told him, its wrecked either way. Do nothing and she will marry debling and you will lose her tonight. So if you like her, step up or move to the side and let debling marry her.
That is how you get out of the friendzone. Also colin man-ed up this season. I won't spoil part 2 but you can clearly see a divide between part 1 and 2, boy and man. His thought process is totally different. 👍😃
Absolutely 👍 but ❤
They did Lord Debling dirty. I married MY "Lord Debling" & fell even more in love with him after we were married. If I'd ended up with my "Colin," it... would not have gone well.
I like Lord Debling, but his view on love, that it's finite and his work takes up all the space available, makes me very sad. One can love multiple people and things at once in so many different ways.
Doctor can we examine the effects of emotional abuse on Penelope? So often when Colin says he loves she asks are you sure? This has to be trauma based
She also takes compliments as backhanded comments. Marina and Edwina (& probably others) both compliment her and it comes from genuine kindness and honesty but she doesn't believe that they actually mean it and aren't secretly laughing at her.
@@brighidmcmullen9577 Great point. That has to be examined
I think the Bridgerton Polin fans should be therapized next to figure out how we got sooooo obsessed with this season. 😅
I adore Colin and Penelope! I think they have such a beatuiful, healthy relationship! And you can tell they just like spending time together which I think is the most important thing. Plus, their chemistry is crazy good! My favorite Bridgerton ship for sure!
Saaaaame I love them ❤
Colin handled it better than I did when I made a move on my friend when we were 17. We'd been friends for over a year and he made me laugh really hard one day, then I just kissed him. In my mind I was screaming "what are you doing?!" it was so impulsive, I never do anything impulsive! But, luckily for me he liked me too and hadn't known how to approach it. I guess it worked ok, we've been together ever since and we're 37 now!! I think friendship is a solid way to build on a love relationship. I love him more than anything. When we argue we always go back to "you're my best friend. How do friends resolve this issue"
I really like Lord Debling, but I feel like he's going to have a very hard time finding a wife that is genuinely satisfied with having him away for years at a time and won't have a wandering eye, but is still happy to see him (and bed him) when he's back. That has to be incredibly rare. I think he'd have better luck finding an eccentric woman who loves animals and traveling and would go with him on his journey.
I'd take such a man in a heartbeat; to have the security of a grand estate, privacy from your toxic family, and the option to either live a private life (like Lady Danbury) or adventure with your handsome husband?! Dream life!
I don’t know; I think Cressida could have been a good match for him. She wasn’t looking for love either - she just wanted to be away from London and taken care of. Debling would have been good to her and treated her well, which is more than she could say about her parents. And she probably wouldn’t have minded if he was away for extended periods of time. And in regards to fidelity, while I can see Cressida looking elsewhere for companionship or friendship, since we never actually see her being sexually seductive (manipulative, yes. Seductive, no), I don’t know that she’d be the type to be unfaithful.
@@piratefrenchey6222that’s how most characters start in a romance show/movie, then they meet their person who they feel genuinely passionate about.
It’s like a feeling you can’t know until you feel it
@@bethanyhait6880 Debling was looking for maturity, integrity and honor. He may have been a good match for Cressida, but Cressida was decidedly not what Debling was looking for in a partner.
I like how Colin and Penelope's story plays out like a romance novel more than a period piece because they always bonded over writing.
The ketters to each other while Colin is away. When Pen reads Colin's journal and compliments him on his writing.
Polin, Penelope and Colin, are my favorites. Very much like what you said at the end the foundation of love on friendship because if you don't have, it wont work and they have it.
I don't think guys think about it, that pause...if she's as lost in your eyes as she is in yours, and a witness has to ahem at you to bring you both back to the rest of the world, and she slow blinks at you while smiling... you at least know it's time to ask her out. It's the pause that gives her the room to choose to see if you're compatable.
It was so hard for me to get into the Bridgerton world this season (maybe because of the costumes??)… I kept thinking for a woman in that era, Debbling really is an ideal match. I know Bridgerton has created a fantasy world where love matches were more attainable and desirable, but given the complete lack of rights women had within marriage, he’s offering essentially freedom. Pen ended up with a choice between two ideals in the Bridgerton world, but realistically Colin could at any time make Pen stop writing since she would be his property. But Debbling would be out of town for years without knowing or even caring while Pen ran the estate and her business.
Good grief, the algorithms have failed me for not showing me these sooner. I enjoy Bridgerton waaaaay too much (it's third behind Firefly and Ted Lasso.) So it's so fun to be able to geek out about it with someone else who has an accountability kink.
The Anakin-Padme and Colin-Pen comparison was spot on. Surly Ani was much more unstable mentally than Colin, having a very morphed idea of love, but this would have made his character better, made him more human and 3dimentional, making his turn to the dark side even sadder
Debling's a good dude but Colin and Penelope are endgame for sure. I'm a huge Polin fan!
At the beginning when Penelope meets Deblin it really looks like they're gonna be a fine match, especially because he made her feel seen for the first time, which was great for her self steem and also made Colin wake up 😂 but in the long term I believe it wouldn't work. Honestly, I think she would have married him anyway just to get rid of her family but she'd never be satisfied, wishing for the love he couldn't give her. That being said, thank God Colin did something! They're alike in many ways (their passions, their personalities, their insecurities) and the friendship they have only makes their love stronger. They were just meant to be ❤
The fact that Debling recognizes that and wants to ensure Pen's happiness is a testament to his integrity and character. Great writing; I hope we get to see Debling in future seasons.
@@piratefrenchey6222 for sure. But also I think he might be worried she would cheat on him while he was away
Margarita Life is my go-to fan editor for various fandoms. Her work is superb.
I haven’t watched any of ML’s videos yet, but subscribed on the strength of this video and your comment alone!
First thank you for covering this triangle. I know Polin was endgame this season, but I actually liked Pen and Lord Debling as a better couple. Despite years if friendship, Colin in this season (to me) never say Pen in the same light as Lord Debling did. Lord Debling was interested in her passion for books while Colin called them "silly". And yes okay Lord Debling gave her a plant, but I saw that as him trying bring their two worlds (his of nature and her of books) together. And I think what people miss when asked about if Love could grow, Lord Debling didn't flat out say "No never", he said he wasn't sure. I believe there could be a slow burn love between Pen and Debling.
And if we remember back in season 2, Anthony was very much like that too. And I think it would be nice for change where Pen lets go of her crush/love and let herself move on and find a different kind of love. From my understanding one of the other Bridgerton siblings falls in love though written letters, the same could be true for Pen and Debling if they were given the chance in an AU timeline of the show.
That said I'm also glad they didn't make him secretly evil or anything, he just knew Pen's heart was elsewhere and accepted that like a gentleman.
Anyway great analysis for this video.
Of course, Colin didn't see Pen the same as Debling. He's known her basically their whole lives. He called Eloise's romance book silly because that's what Eloise would have called it. How she has always felt about romance and such things. Colin likes books and is literally also a writer and very clearly a romantic. And in fact the writing of letters between Pen and Colin is part of the reason he fell in love with her. You can see the way he looks at her when he's back and the way he talks about her letters. The fact that she didn't write to him that summer is the catalyst for everything. He completely lost himself because of it. That's why he came back with an entirely different personality trying to be someone completely different unaffected by such things. But it's rereading the letters she's sent him throughout the years (which were in his travel bag mind you, he's carried them everywhere with him) that he realizes he's loved the side of her that is LW all along. That she's always been the same and he's known that part of her already.
As for Debling it takes a year for him to get where he's going. It would take a year for the letter to get there and a another for it to get back. Also the voyage he's going on is famous for no one making back alive during those times. So not even letters would have saved the match of Pen and Debling.
Lord Debling was definitely a man who knew what he wanted didn't care what others thought and went for it no games. Penelope loved Colin too much to be happy with anyone else and he finally realized his feelings for Penelope and maned up.
Penelope and Colin are perfect for each other so i couldn't really care about Lord Debling. He is a nice guy, though.
I love Polin and glad they ended up together. Friendship is the best way to build a relationship. ❤
The honest communication with Lord Debling likely gave her the courage and the knowledge that she had to take the risk. “I didn’t ask if it was a possibility, I asked if you’d like it to be one” is one of my favorite lines.
I was really sad that Debling and Cressida didn’t end up together in the end. She wasn’t always a mean girl, and she needs the freedom from her parents to grow into herself. Debling could give her the room to do that, but it sadly didn’t happen.
I wonder how Lord Debling would have reacted to learning she is Whistledown. While I want to like him more, he asks a great deal of the person he wants to marry. He should really be conducting interviews. He doesn't think he will fall in love; he will be away for years. I presume he wants an heir so he will be coming back to a woman he spends practically no time with the expectations she will go through the motions of sex to become pregnant. Will he give up his travels to see to the raising of his children? When he stops his explorations, he won't know his family at all. They would have created an entire life without him. He's not even a good match for Cressida because she is too much of what he doesn't like in society. He might be a good match for Eloise.
He's asking a lot for a MODERN woman. For a Regency-era woman, his expectations - sex without romantic love, children without him present as an active parent - are par for the course. The vast majority of women are already marrying into those expectations, BUT Debling is offering an extremely high degree of independence and self-determination in return. For a modern woman, that independence and self-determination is our birthright; we should rightly look askance at any partner who would try to take it away from us. But for an unmarried Regency woman, she's never had that and likely won't have that in any other relationship. Debling is actually an amazing catch... for the right person. As another commenter pointed out, he's essentially Charlotte Lucas from Pride and Prejudice's ideal man.
Colin & Penelope make me happy.
Pen and Colin are my roman empire. My choice is obvious. Lol Head and heart! That carriage scene is so hot, i still catch my breath watching it.
Honestly, I was seriously crushing on Lore Debling. I was a little mad that Colin interrupted their relationship.
I wanted Lord Dedling and Penelope to work. They really seemed like a beautiful match
They were not in love 😔 Lord Dedling was about to leave her alone for three whole years. Furthermore, he told Penelope that he would probably never love her, because he already loved his life and being outdoors. Penelope would never be happy, being more alone than she already is.
I really liked Lord Debling. I thought he was sweet, thoughtful, kind, accepting, and handsome. He was genuinely an awesome guy! But I like Penelope and Colin's relationship because it was better FOR THEM. Penelope just didn't have that extra spark with Lord Debling, and that was something she really wanted.
I also think that it's great to show a potential partner that isn't necessarily "bad", but just not right. Lord Debling is still a catch, but just not right for Penelope, which is a real thing that happens to real people, and I think that's a really mature and complex situation that unfortunately isn't represented in media as often as cheap, simple drama.
Lord Debling if he weren't galivanting off to the Arctic to die would be a good match for Penelope. They like one another, they are intellectual equals, he respects Penelope and he cares about what is best for her. Lord Debling is older and would be more patient with Penelope in a marriage of convenience.
What I love about Colin Bridgerton is that once he makes a decision he doesn't hesitate and goes after what he wants. All the Bridgerton men and women have that character trait. That is why in the carriage scene Colin deliberately compromises Penelope by doing more than just kissing her. He has to convince Pen that he is serious about her and gives her a taste of what passion with him can be like. Otherwise, Penelope may find some else to marry her since Colin has shown no signs of wanting to be in a committed relationship with her.
Great job! Love to see the second half of season 3 therapized, as it is A LOT!
I love Polin (I'm a huge sucker for friends to lovers), but I wish we could have gotten a flashback of their first meeting instead of just hearing about it!
I loved that he narrated it because it showed how important pen was to him even if he didn’t know his own feelings…
All the while we saw pen pine for him, so having him remember such a beautiful encounter warmed my heart
While I loved Colin and Penelope together, I wish that they'd been more central in their own season, and not played second fiddle to the other characters.
If I'd been born in a time and class wherein I had to basically get married or run away (which I'd totally do if I didn't love my fam) AND there was nobody I was in love with (such as Colin) then I think I'd be more than alright to wed someone like Debling. Someone patient, kind, and who respects who I am and also finds me interesting and I feel likewise towards them. Pen is such a romantic though. Even if Colin weren't in the story she'd always have wanted a true and passionate love story to be hers. And I can't fault her for that. I ship Polin, obviously but I think Lord Debling deserves his props.
I think Lord Debling turned out to be not a match in the plot just because it is written Pen just has stronger feelings for Colin. But in real life, I think he would be a better match because Colin never really respected Pen as a romantic equal, so even if Pen had stronger feelings for Colin, the relationship dynamic is not as good. I'm Team Debling!
Debling & Eloise would be a great match IMO on a practical and personality level.
I totally agree that she's a full match with Collin.
I loved lord Debling. I was worried about a love triangle when I first saw the trailer but they didn’t make him the bad guy. I love the way hé left, telling her he homes she’ll be happy. I was very sad that we disn’t him in thé 2nd part of thé season!
The "I won't fall in love with you" from Debling was only thrown in, so we wouldn't all find him superior to Colin, you can't change my mind.
#LordDeblingSupremacy
My problem with Lord Debling was when he learned that she's had feelings for Colin -- and what he says is essentially that he doesn't know if he can ever love her but he doesn't want her to ever love anyone else. To me, that's a huge problem.
He's honest with her in that he doesn't know if he can love her, but he's also honest in the fact that he's looking for someone in the same boat. Pen is not in that boat. You're assuming that whomever he marries will be in Pen's same situation, and fall in love. Thus if he doesn't fall in love with them, then they should be free to love another. There are many women out there who would be content to marry for security and practicality, and would be able to get along just fine if he didn't fall in love with them. Pen is not one of those people, and we know that. When he sees that, he breaks it off. It would be more problematic if he did not. He's willing to take a chance with Pen that the love might grow (before Colin interrupts), but once it becomes clear that she's settling for him, and there is actually a possibility of her dream (as demonstrated by Colin's actions), regardless of whether she sees it or not, he let's her go.
This edit was better than that entire season! Goes to show how everything going on in this season really watered it down
I actually really like Lord Debling. He seems super kind, he has a sense of humor about himself and he’s smart. He cares about the world. I hope he ends up with a happy ending, idk if the books ever elaborated on his story. If Cressida wasn’t such a butt head, I would’ve said I’d like them together even because they had a few moments that were genuine. But ultimately she’s a jerk lol
I read a take that said Debling is perfect for Lady Whistledown, but Colin is perfect for Penelope.
Pen always wanted a love match. Debling couldn’t promise that. And would likely try to keep her from her friend Colin because of their history.
So sad that Cressida ended the season that way. I loved seeing her perspective this season. Cressida and Debling would've been a great match!
"Prom night flashbacks" 😂😂😂
I really liked Debling, and I think he and Pen would have been a good match. Sure, Colin is her true love, so I am of course happy they got together, but still. I think Debling and Pen could have made it work. Maybe not love, but at least deep and honest friendship.
But it also reminded me of Queen Charlottes line in, well 😄, "Queen Charlotte", when she told her son before his wedding that love is something you can choose: "Love is determination. Love is a choice one makes. You take someone in marriage, and you choose to love them. You do not give yourself any other option."
I think both Pen and Debling would have been able and willing to do that.
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The music in the carriage scene was so absolutely gorgeous and perfect and fitting. I don't think this could have been done any better.
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"This is a much better version of Anakin's fireside speech to Padme." God, you are such a nerd! 😄🥰
Im so happy to see Jono has a decent microphone now. X3
"Backseat carriage groping.." haha
I love it so so much! This is the first season I've actually yelled at the screen and had so much invested. Just wished they gave them more time and really developed their personal relationship but it felt so rushed.
I have an idea: therapize Johnny Bravo! Yes, the cartoon. I'd love to hear your take on men like that :)
Bring it… and more, the rest of the season with Polin! Lol
Her “What” is be best What in the history of What’s!😂
It would be great if you talked about Colin and all his insecurities this season.. From Pen no longer writing to him and feeling alone coming back with a whole new fake persona to his insecurities anout Pen loving him back to before finding out about LW to them being compounded After he finds out. And his jealously about her being a writer. We dont focus too much on Colin unfortunately but his whole emotional journey this season is so good.
I find Debling selfish. She tells him she enjoys love stories but he sees that as her hobby? Eww, his behavior would make more sense if he knew she was lady whistledown. That is why it makes sense from her perspective but to want a wife for the sole purpose of running the estate? Nope pay someone to do your work while you are off living your best life.
Prom night flashbacks! 😂 Omg!
I’ve always been a firm believer that a good marriage is a combination of a sold friendship and those “love feelings” (sexual attraction, affection, etc) because you need a strong relationship beyond that initial honeymoon phase and sex if you want the relationship to succeed! Of course a dash of practical thinking is needed too, because you can truly love someone but then come to the sad conclusion and truth that because of certain factors your relationship just isn’t going to work! (And those factors can be a lot of things.)
Please! More of Polin's relationship! Can you do Ep 5/6/7/8 - with the romance & secrets/reveal and how Colin copes with his anger/how Pen copes, etc.
Not "prom night flashbacks" 💀🤣
My one issue with Colin was that he did not see Penelope as a viable option in the beginning. It wasn't because they were "just friends," but he friend-zoned her based off of her looks/level of attraction. Her perception by society dictated his desire to do this.
I don't think there's anything wrong with not being attracted to someone.
I think it's important for your partner to be excited about you from the beginning. When you tell your kids about how you met and knew this person was the one, you want to say "I knew from the moment I met her that she was special." You don't want to hear, "yeah I friend zoned her because she was short and chubby and society taught me that tall, thin girls are supposed to be the prettiest.
I think Penelope deserve to be cherished and given attention/affection. Lord Debling couldn't meet that requirement due to his insular nature and desire to be away constantly. I really liked how genuine he was and how he liked Penelope from the get go. There was no disgust, awkward staring, etc...he just thought she was special from the beginning. I feel like he respected her from the moment he met her and you really need that.
I'm not 100% team Colin/Penelope, but also don't think Debling was the right match.
I really like what you said about how you need love but really you need, trust, respect, safety and similar wants in life.
I broke off a relationship of 2.5 years with my BF. I loved him, but he did not respect me how I needed (and he said sorry and wanted to fix it) but I didnt want to have to teach someone how they should teach me. And secondly, I want a family in my life, and although he does too, it's more a secondary thought. He wants lots of $ and cars first. And I decided, even if he had treated me well, the fact we have separate goals in life was a good sign we were not compatible
I love all of your videos ❤
I don't think debling and Penelope would have made it in the long run. I'm so much happier with Colin, but if debling is still available... I'll take him. He's my perfect person 😅
Hey, I saw a clip in this video from one day at a time and there is so much to therapize in that series, which would be amazing to see. Especially the Lydia/Penelope relationships and Lydias view on the divorce. Maybe when you are done with Bridgerton?
One thing I would say is for me there is an entirely different set of 'rules' and expectations for friendship and for romantic relationship. It is NOT as simple as friendship + passion = true love.
Oohhh, I can’t wait to hear the therapy of the 2nd part
I love this channel and all you do--may I suggest with the best of intentions that a visible chair (something with a back) would make the frame look a little more structured? You seem ill at ease on the stool sometimes
THANK YOU for your thoughtful work in any seat!
I would have wanted to se Deblin with Eloise...
Ooooh now that's a match!!!
VERY solid choice.
🤯
We spent a lot of the time speculating about who Lord D would be best suited for, and vice versa. Eloise was definitely a possibility.