a lot of folks in the autistic community (myself included) find ourselves relating heavily to francesca and the traits she exhibits that align with ASD (i.e. overwhelm at loud noises/environments, hyperfixating on a special interest, distaste for small talk, intense desire for peace, feeling alien in the company of others
@@mh-jg4tv i don’t see why my saying that autistic people relate to francesca upset you, unless you think that autistic people are lesser somehow or that neurotypical people can’t relate to autistic people the way autistic people are always made to relate to neurotypical people in that there are more of you than of us. take a breath and consider what’s triggering this reaction from you because honestly it’s ableist, and said to the wrong person, it’s hurtful.
Yeah i'm autistic and i can see a lot from myself in Francesca. It's really sweet that her husband made something for her, with her in mind so she can enjoy it.
Fun fact - Eloise hiding was NOT in the script, that was something the actress did on her own. I love Francesca and John's relationship, and I don't feel that bad for Lord Samadani. It was like he didn't want to or really care about getting to know her, learning about their shared love of music, etc. Meanwhile John listened to her even if he didn't say much - and I saw his having the music rearranged for her as a bold gesture, although his inviting her to dance at Colin and Penelope's wedding was also very sweet and bold in the way her family wanted.
@@juliaboskamp9666 it really is :( I haven't read the books but a friend of mine has and told me about what happens. I am curious as to what they have planned for Eloise, since I have a feeling it will definitely vary from the books. I can actually see her with Lord Debling if they change her story.
While it’s nice to have an engaging conversation from time to time, I too find more comfort in the silences my partner and I share. It’s comforting to know he is there and there’s no pressure to talk or do anything. I love to talk but I also need quiet and solace to think and relax. I am grateful my partner understands this. I can leave a party we are at and go sit in our car for 20-30 minutes and he knows I’m just recharging.
My parents both say that the moment they knew they were perfect for each other was when they realized they had spent an entire afternoon reading next to each other without feeling the need to say a word.
I spent 4 years in a relationship with a man I knew I didn't want to stay with, but all of my friends and family were excited for me and encouraged me to stick around. We had plenty in common and I would have otherwise called him a very good friend, but the truth was I wasn't in love with him and didn't see a future together. I stayed anyway because I thought that those feelings would come to me in time, but they didn't, and I left. Leaving was hard, but staying would have been harder. Immediately I knew I made the right decision because of the relief I felt. Eight months later, I started dating the love of my life, and we are now happily married. 😊
In a similar situation. But I am indecisive and am fearful of making the wrong decision. I constantly question and doubt if I genuinely love him or not, going back and forth whether I should leave or stay. I’ve just gotten so comfortable at this point, leaving him wouldn’t be easy. Do you have any advice for over-thinkers/indecision? Thanks.
Possibly unpopular opinion, but I don't think our society favors extroversion, necessarily, but rather outspokenness. You can be an outspoken and confident introvert, and people will still respect you. It's shy and reserved people who society disapproves of.
My parents wanted me to date my best friend. We had known each other since 8th grade. We got along great and are still very close friends to this day, but I never saw his as a romantic partner. He actually introduced my husband to me. My husband and I have dated for 28yrs and have been married for 20yrs. Just because you have great chemistry with someone, doesn’t necessarily make a good match.
Dated for 28 years???? Wow. That's a lot. Not judging or anything, just saying that in my perception 28 years of dating is a lot. Were you in a relationship or just casually date? Cause dating to me sounds like something casual (English isn't my 1st language so when I hear dating I don't think commitment or moving in together, dating isn't exclusive in my mind ).
I am a super introvert, my parents say that I used to crawl under tables or climb up trees to get out of group settings lol We had a big extended family growing up, mom once counted over 300 family members in a 30 mile radius. Everyone kept introducing me to these extremely extroverted guys in hopes that one would 'break me out of my shell' ... I remember having the exact same feeling as Francesca with the big family when one guy invited me to his families house to play games and he mentioned there would be like 20 people there (that was a no from me) LOL Thankfully I married someone who is an 'outgoing introvert' and will happily sit across the couch from me in silence and decompress together at the end of the day; and in group settings he'll chat with other people while I sit back and enjoy myself :)
I would really be interested in your take on Eloise and friendship, especially this season. Because as much as I love her independency and free spirit, I do think she was (is?) a terrible friend.
Yes! This! I feel like if she simply stopped one second and actually listened and thought about it, she would have been a much better friend. I have nothing against Eloise in general, but in season 3 when she asked Penelope after the engagement announcing how long those feelings have been there....like, girl, everyone has known! 😅
I agree, it’s always about herself. She does not really listen well and she only sometimes cares and supports her friends. It’s probably why she didn’t know that Pen was Lady WD.
Yeah, for someone who rants on and on about the way their society treats women, when Cressida was experiencing that mistreatment in real time and needed help, Eloise couldn't even be bothered to pay attention.
I heard on medcircle with Dr. Ramani who said that introverts are great leaders that are often overlooked because they are quiet and reserved, but they can be so wise (thinking introvert) because of what they observe in their silence others sort of enjoy socialising (social introvert), the message that I got from that video was that introverts can be great leaders because they know how to listen because they sit in silence when people talk about their problems and take everything in because they want to give good advice and that's what makes them such great leaders. They're so quiet but that just means that they know how to listen wholeheartedly to understand and then give valuable and wise advice to those who are in their company and I think we have much to learn from them
I've never been pressured to date or marry a person. However, every time I see family or friends that I haven't seen in a long time they always ask me if I'm dating someone, and when I say no they question me on it. It's not in a bad or disappointed way, but as an asexual introvert it can sometimes feel like they are pressuring me to date someone. And sometimes it can be tiring to explain that I'm not interested in dating, because it can feel like they don't hear me or listen, but I also know they are just asking because they are interested in my life. In that way I sometimes feel like Eloise, that I'm not interested in dating or getting married or having children, yet surrounded by people who think they are helping me find happiness by pushing me towards dating.
I was so excited by Francesca's love story. Not only do we get to see a neurodivergent couple but more importantly we finally get a relationship based in genuine connection and love as opposed to just lust and passion.... and then... devasated by the fact that they ruined it as it had just begun with: lust and passion. That was so sad! TV needs more diversity in the depiction of love and also show more what true love is like.
Yes, I am so happy to see an introvert's story told! And coming from a family of introverts, I completely understand the sitting in silence, spending quality time with someone, in the same room, to feel connected to them without needing much conversation or interaction (just reading next to each other, or, as you mentioned, just eating together). And yes, I LOVE Lady Bridgerton. She doesn't understand Francesca but she sees her and supports her.. what better show of love is there?!
JONO I love hearing you say “outgoing introvert” because that’s what I call myself all the time. I would call myself an ambivert because I do need somewhat frequent small interactions to function, but generally I love people but they exhaust me and I need ample time by myself. Having bipolar disorder doesn’t help because I get amped up when I’m around people sometimes (I like to call it situational mania 😂). I don’t always know how to turn myself and need to be alone in order to do that fully.
They told such a lovely love story away from the well trodden path of meaningful stares and untameable passions. Just two people realising they belong together and following their hearts. And then the writer decided to throw it all in the bin within the last few minutes of the season. 🙄
I'm an introvert that has trained herself to act like an extrovert if necessary. But it's not a coincidence I chose to marry and extreme introvert. My sister in law after the wedding asked what I like so much about her brother that I decided to move to Greece for him and I said that he's the only person I know I can spend 72 hours in the same room with and not feel bothered or exhausted.
This video is great, but the whole point of knowing yourself, accepting the introvert within you and being able to choose the right partner based off of that knowledge is a bit null and void when you have foreknowledge of Franchesca's story from the books... [BOOK SPOILER] I don't normally care all that much about adaptations being too far off from the source material, I love reading books, and part of that is the act of the written word being translated to my imagination as I read, and that is something no movie can take from me, but I was disappointed with this adaptation _because_ I really loved what they did with Franchesca's and John's story (which doesn't appear in her book at all, it is all about her second marriage to his cousin). I thought it was such an important and beautiful story to show, of people finding comfort and kinship in simplicity and a quiet sort of love, that doesn't rely on jealousy or anger to show passion, but rather on understanding - I loved it so so much when John's "big jesture" to try to show Violet he really cares about Franchesca was asking her to dance publically - no one else would have considered that as a big outgoing jesture, but he knew that for himself and for Franchesca it would be - But then they went ahead and introduced a genderswap - Michela, a female cousin instead of a male one, Michael, from the books. I don't care that the story is now of a gay coupling (although I truly wonder how that is going to play out...) - it's that I feel that now everything that was pointing towards John and Franchesca having a healthy loving relationship got turned on its head - Nope, it's not a validation for introverted people being true to themselves, it's not that quiet and tender romances can be just as strong as one who's fraught with challanges - it's that she's actually gay and doesn't know it yet, Violet was right all along, if you're not mad with passion and want to shout-kiss your partner and have violent sex in public places you're not really in love (which is I'm guessing what we'll see in the genderswapped version of Franchesca's story when the show turns to her..)
YES! I'm going to vent my spleen here because it's been bugging me. I really dislike that they introduced Michaela at the end of this season. Francesca's twitter-pated response undermines *everything* she argued to her mother about her love for John. I thought it was awful. It sounds like her book is a friends to lovers trope (is it?), but if so, doing it this way undermines her story structure AND her character development.
This. As an introvert myself I loved Francesca's and John's sweet, quiet relationship, I thought it was beautiful and it was so nice to see two introverts being represented as in love on screen. Then Micheala swoops in at the end and Francesca gives her this lingering look and I'm like, oh. Well never mind then :(
Same. I haven't read the books but heard about them and I love the start of their marriage here but it feels like they're going to underplay their love by saying she's gay and doesn't truly love him
@@wowkir Yep. Also, the only reason Franchesca even considers remarrying in the books is because she is desperate for a child (which she and John never had) so the gender swap makes no sense on _ANY_ level..
I love franchesca they say thats shes neurodivergent of ASD which i also love about her but i do relate to her all the way and i knew as soon as john came he was the one
@@voyance4elle Not if what some of us took for autism coding was Francesca having a more guarded personality because she was closeted. I heard from someone on here that was the case, but they didn’t have any citations or interview link so who knows… In either or neither event, I don’t like the way they capped the “quiet courtship” with Francesca falling in love with someone else at first sight.
@@kaylahensley1581 I agree. The whole "deep and true love can manifest in different ways" storyline fell flat the second they introduced Michaela. And they did a huge disservice to John.
@@trullatube in the books she unfortunately loses John a couple of years after marrying and falls in love with his cousin Michael after - which it appears that it has been changed from Michael to Michaela.
I love John and Franny! They're so cute and sweet and I can relate so much to the preferring to be by myself at times. I hope you cover the second half, because there is so much to discuss with all the storylines.
Yes, I am like this is as well. I have four other siblings (one is my twin). When we are all in a room with the nieces and nephews as well I dont talk as much because it is overwhelming. Especially, since all my siblings live with in an hour of each other and I am out of state. I tend to talk more on a one in one session. Its hard but I am trying to recognize and make peace with it. I'm just not as out going when there are to many people viding for attention and that's okay.
That sitting in silence was our thing with my late father. I miss him😢 That's how I decided on my husband. While we were dating in our 20s, I had a vision of us in our old age, sitting on a hilltop rock, in silence. That was my sign. When he proposed, all was sealed❤
When I was a child, my mum and sister were talking about me and a boy in my class and that we would look good together. I felt a certain expectation on their part for me to like that boy. And I eventually did start to like him. I didn't really like anything about him in particular, I just thought it would be nice to date him. So I tried to spend a lot of time with him and I waited for him response. He never said he liked me, so after a few years of my crush I talked and reasoned myself out of it. When I think about it now, I see that we wouldn't be a good fit for eachother and am glad I never asked him to date me. That is one choice I will never regret.
From the fee snippets of scenes, I don’t get bad vibes from Samadani and he seemed nice and respectful. He just wasn’t the right choice for Francesca and that is ok. Personality wise, I may choose John and I love his humor how he fit in with Francesca’s brothers and Will even though they are more outgoing than he is. But he got along with them in a gentle manner, contributed to the conversations because of his intelligence, and had his own sense of humor that meshed well with the other boys. I appreciated that.
I had a very manipulative cousin who wanted me to date the brother of her husband, one day, I found I broke up with my boyfriend and was close to dating him and I don't know what woke me up, but I realized what am I doing? I came to my senses and got back together with my boyfriend, and we been married for 13 years. I am so glad I didn't end up with that guy, and this also started the dissolve of my friendship with my cousin.
Pressure is pressure. I now realize my first marriage was actually running away from home to escape my parents with someone I thought was trying to do the same with theirs and their family trauma. Also, (at 19) I thought he was the only man who would ever ask.
I have never been pressured to date someone by family. I have been pressured to not date someone by friends. That someone is now my husband, 20 + years later, and they're no longer my friend.
I like, people, and like having conversations... but in a group I'll retreat before everyone else to he by myself. I'll be fine for a while, but I eventually become overwhelmed. I'm not in the autism spectrum, but i do have ADHD, and I tend to have sensory overload and need to retreat. As I've grown older I've thought myself certain tools to help myself, but when I was younger it was very hard for me.
I hope we get ALL the Mended Lights for Wicked! There are a lot of folks in that story who need more therapy than can be covered in one Cinema Therapy, and if the movies are even a tenth accurate to the musical there will be plenty to discuss.
Hi Jonathan, so about your question... recently one of my mom's friends called me to talk about this guy who she wants to introduce me to. She assured, basically guaranteed me that he's a good guy and that it would be good to meet with him at least once since I'm getting older and I need to think about my family too as if it's my responsibility. After that, my mom and her friend talked about the guy and later, my mom told me her opinion about this situation. She told me that she wishes that it would turn out well for the reason that she doesn't want to see me struggle later and also it would take some of burden off her shoulder. I honestly felt that I had to choose to meet the guy just for my mom's expectation. My family and I are all asians, and I grew up as a people pleaser. BUT I also like to be alone. I don't see the point of being married or being with anyone (I saw my parents fight A LOT) sooner or later, I'll have to choose to meet him or not, at the moment, I'm just ignoring it 😅
It's your life. Let other people only interfere with it when it's ok for you, for example when you want advise or another opinion. If you are not ok with it make clear that interference is not appreciated (in a firm but friendly way of course). You have only one life. Don't let others guilt-trip you. Your life, you decisions. Nobody knows better what is good for you than you. And if you are wrong sometimes and regret a decision - you will grow from it and do better next time. Good luck, I know it's hard.
@@lisilein2 I wasn't completely ignoring it, but I got the advice to listen to my mom from so many people that I was just tired of it 😔 thanks for the advice! I appreciate it
I never felt pressure to date or marry someone my family picked, but....with the amount of marriages and children in my very, very Catholic family I felt the pressure at a young age to date, marry and have kids long before I was actually mature enough to do so. Now, I and my spouse are addressing that in our family, but I believe there is damage that cannot be reversed from that kind of upbringing.
Similar and different here - the pressure was not to date unless you got married not to marry unless you want planed not to use birth control. Not hating on my parents they were overzealous and honest - but they used birth control for years and regretted it. My rushing into marriage emotionally unprepared and immature during a pandemic was a side effect of good intentions paving a maladaptive life.
Yes, I was pressured. No, I didn't handle it well. At first, I flat out refused to go along with it. Then got emotionally blackmailed (apparently I HAD to go along with i because my mother was tensing up so much that my dad was afraid she'd have a heart attack. Shoulda ignored that.) and went along with it. Got absolutely bored to hell and back each time I went out with him and grew more and more impatient because he was behaving what he thought was as a friend (which he was,. He was a long time childhood friend) but according to our social sphere's standard was courtship (I still feel uncomfortable at this word).In the end, I cornered him and asked him to explain himself ("do you want a relationship or not because you're giving the fam that you want to"). He backed off and apologized for giving the wrong impression. From then on, I never forgave my mother for it and will hold that over her head the next time she starts getting ideas becaus she ruined a perfectly good casual friendship. I now can't be friends with this guy because, although he's nice, I know my mother is sweet on him and thinking about how close I was to being forced into that relationship against my will makes me want to cry.
I code Francesca and John as being neurodivergent. They seem to have ASD radar with each other, knowing a "kindred soul". Of course I do not know if the writers intended to code these characters this way, but I would not be surprised if they were intended to be autistic because this show tries very hard to give lots of different types of positive representation, such as the lord that is in a wheelchair. As an autistic person I would say that I disagree with the idea that introvert means that being social drains you. Lots of introverts are not drained by social interaction. If being social drains you of energy you might be somewhere on the autism spectrum. I am extroverted even though socializing drains me, and always has. I need time to recover from social activities even though I enjoy them. This is because I am constantly masking being autistic. What makes me think Francesca maybe autistic? She seems to become distressed with lots of external stimuli, such as her noisy siblings, which is a step above being introverted. She felt the need to leave the party after talking to Samadani because she was overwhelmed and was trying to emotionally regulate. It was the second time she fled social situations because she was overwhelmed. If you will remember she escaped to play piano, which seemed both a form of stim for her and her narrow special interests. In fact, that focus on music to where she could come up with direct ways to improve the song when she talked about it with John seemed like an autistic trait. John's ability to remember what she said to him was a little autistic as well. Their entire communication style was very neurodivergent. I point all of this out because I think autistic representation is extremely important, and I am hopeful that the writers will say that they were attempting to code these characters as neurodivergent. I also wanted to point this out under a video from a therapist that deals with patients. I am hoping the creator of this video will read this comment with an open mind with an eye towards positive criticism. We have a massive underdiagnosis problem for autistic people, particularly autistic women. Therapists are not taught how autism presents in women. We are diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, eating disorders, and other mental health problems while our autism goes undetected, and getting therapy while autistic is its own thing, without being a therapist that is knowledgeable about autism you can do real harm to autistic people. We know that 1 in 36 people are autistic, and that number keeps going up as we get better at screening and detecting autistic adults that escaped diagnoses as kids. And we use mental health services far more than our allistic counterparts. We are more depressed, anxious, have high comorbidities with a host of secondary conditions. So if you are a therapist it is highly likely that you're encountering autistic people, and because they seem "normal" to you from the outside you're not clocking them. If someone tells me that they require lots of alone time as a result of being around other people that is a huge tell that they could be on the spectrum and really value from having an assessment, and not an online assessment. That isn't going to help people who are highly masking and highly functioning
My mom wanted me to date a fellow highschooler and I had no idea how to make that happen😅. I also knew there would be some core beliefs that we'd have to talk out. Nothing happened from it
There have been at least a couple of times with a couple of different guys in my life where I wouldn't say there was an immediate romance, but the main identifiable reason was because of circumstances outside of our control, and I was in a position where I was still eager to have a friendship-connection if possible. I wasn't closed to the romantic possibilities but I didn't have high expectations either, but people saw how much we seemingly enjoyed being around each other & assumed we were definitely supposed to be headed in a romantic direction. The biggest problem I find with that situation is that all it takes is one mistake on my part for everyone (including the guy, who was perhaps stressed out from all the talk/social expectations) to blame me for the failed relationship, which tells me the guy was never really going to be my friend anyway; true friends aren't ashamed of you & don't try to scapegoat you the minute there's a problem or make out like all the social drama is your fault. Also, true friends are honest with you about their relationship-needs and/or boundaries.😕 I guess the good news is that we don't have to feel guilty about withdrawing from people when they get out of control; at no point in these situations was anyone asking me what MY relationship expectations/needs were & I've learned to object when people play around with things that are going to wind up hurting me and not them.
I love, LOVE that the moment Lord Samadani says he wanted eight children, all we saw of Francesca was a Road Runner puff of smoke left behind! 🤣😅😂😅😆 With me being an introvert of the first order, I related to Francesca and John Starling's meet cute, their courtship, and their marriage. I hate that the new showrunner ruined their love story by trying to pander because it was beautiful in the books. We who are introverts (and autistics, too) deserve to have a quiet love story. 😔
I can't say I'm being pressure to marry a lawyer that goes to my mother's church, but she strongly hinted that I should get to know him. Yet, I don't want to be reminded of ex's parents' work, which ironically same as this person.
My partner and I are similar in some ways, but way more different. However, it's been almost 10 years and everyone who has known us since the beginning clocked the fact we were (somehow) a perfect match 😅 Honestly, a running joke between us is how do we work? 😂
You described this really well. I guess I'm an outgowing introvert too. With the right people, and in doses. I can really enjoy it to be around and connect on shared interests (also I have that extremely rarely nowadays), but it still wear's me out. In a good way in that case, maybe comparable to being physically exhausted and feeling good about it after for example a workout. Actually, physical and social often went hand in hand for me: entomogist in all-day-long (or even night for some specialties like moths and bats) (and this up to 3 days in a row) field work with peers. And all the ID and mounting and labeling and feeding the data-base that follows. (There's "Biodiversity Weekend" organized every two years in Luxembourg, where I live. And workED (invalidity pension because of my desastrout mental health) for the national research center linked to the Natural History Museum. Sorry, hard to make this all short. Friday is ateliers for shool classes. Saturday and Sunday is for the biologists, professional or not. Goal is to prove occuence of as many species as possible in a chosen municipality. The the more experts of different groups are present, the longer the list have a chance to get. I love this with all my heart. But it's hard work. I haven't taken part in years, sadly. Long digression... (Funny also one year with bad weather (like raining all day long), one of the botanists stated that they have no excuse other than lack of motivation, because the plants can't hide away (as animals and especially insects do). I miss when I was functionable enough to work... As for socialising wiht the "wrong" people or when forced to: even more draining.
The pressure has kinda tailed off for now. I can honestly say I can't see myself with anyone or having that life. Do I hope for it? Kinda. Will I be disappointed if I don't have a husband and kids? Not sure. But I know I'll regret not having adventures before it. My friend wanted me to have kids within a year of her having hers but I think it was fear and loneliness that drove that pressure, no one else was having kids at her age at the time and I knew I wasn't ready and I wasn't going to subject a child to the upheaval I was about to face. She said to me once that I was more career orientated than family orientated, I disagree. I want all my ducks in a row before bringing children into the world. She's now facing the issues I didn't want and dreaded for myself if I got pregnant before I was ready. My ducks are nearly in a row, she's still trying to order hers with the chaos that is life ongoing.
Jonathan: “Have you ever been in a situation where there was pressure from loved ones to date or marry a certain person and how did you handle that?” Me: “Since you like’em so much, YOU marry’em! 😭”
I haven't watched the second part yet (BG3 for the Xbox *finally* got here, so it has CONSUMED ME), but I *really* hope they don't turn Samadani into a villain....
My step parents tried to convince me to date my best friend, and like an idiot, I did, hoping it would make them happy. Turns out as a partner, he was neglectful, abusive, and dishonest. Absolutely would never recommend.
I relate to the traits Francesca exhibits and I'm not autistic but an introvert (turned ambivert). Maybe an unpopular opinion on my part, but I didn't like her relationship with John. It felt somehow empty, like they could be great friends but it didn't give any more elements to be anything else 🤷 as a side note I could sense the autistic in John but not necessarily in Francesca, to me she was more of an introvert.
That sort of thing is actually fairly typical in my experience. One forgets a word that already exists and makes up one from the same root to serve the same function. English in particular is very flexible this way. The original word is still more correct, but the newer ones serve the same function because they are still understood.
@@adedow1333 Not sure because he used both words and didn't he even use them more than once? I guess I was hoping someone would actually confirm my only logical explanation: it seems we call extrovertism to the preference or tendency to be an extrovert. Maybe?
I wish I could reap the benefits of this society that supposedly favors extroversion 🙄 as a woman in STEM, I feel too extroverted for science, steeped in an environment of introverts (INTJs specifically 🙄). It’s so freaking lonely and soul sucking and crushing and draining. Being able to buckle down and just chug away at lab work for hours on end is what’s valued, and I can’t wait to leave science so that I can be in an environment where my extroversion will be a gift like apparently it is in the rest of society.
I love that they teased a potential WLW storyline for Francesca, by having her showing brief interest in her husband's cousin Michaela, a gender swap from the original novels.
@@kaylahensley1581 Yes! I was so here for the "There are different ways to express love" story line, and this just made it seem like ACTUALLY only one feeling is valid. If you're not feeling fireworks, it not "real".
XD I did that. I have enjoyed silence with ppl from time to time even though I'm overall the socially comforrtable type introvert. I love when it's possible. I need that for my brain. If ppl cannot bear their own mind without making their mouth work, I'm starting to struggle on the long run.
Well, that's an easy question. Nobody has ever wanted me to marry anyone. Nobody has ever wanted to marry me. The myth that everyone has good qualities that others find appealing is totally disproven. After a half century of rejection any hope of True Love or other fairy tales would be pure delusion. And yet I have a pretty good life. I have raised the art of introversion to a high pathology.yy social needs are modest, to say the least. I can't have what I want, but what I have is actually pretty good. I know plenty of people who aren't doing as well, even when they have more.
a lot of folks in the autistic community (myself included) find ourselves relating heavily to francesca and the traits she exhibits that align with ASD (i.e. overwhelm at loud noises/environments, hyperfixating on a special interest, distaste for small talk, intense desire for peace, feeling alien in the company of others
After Corona,all of us introverts have to he autistic. No,we aren't necessarily!
@@mh-jg4tv i don’t see why my saying that autistic people relate to francesca upset you, unless you think that autistic people are lesser somehow or that neurotypical people can’t relate to autistic people the way autistic people are always made to relate to neurotypical people in that there are more of you than of us. take a breath and consider what’s triggering this reaction from you because honestly it’s ableist, and said to the wrong person, it’s hurtful.
Yeah i'm autistic and i can see a lot from myself in Francesca. It's really sweet that her husband made something for her, with her in mind so she can enjoy it.
@@juliaboskamp9666 yessss! and it was so cute and relatable how she was like “mom we need to go home right now” so she could go play it ASAP 🥹🫶🏻
I relate to all those traits and I'm not autistic. 🤔
Fun fact - Eloise hiding was NOT in the script, that was something the actress did on her own. I love Francesca and John's relationship, and I don't feel that bad for Lord Samadani. It was like he didn't want to or really care about getting to know her, learning about their shared love of music, etc. Meanwhile John listened to her even if he didn't say much - and I saw his having the music rearranged for her as a bold gesture, although his inviting her to dance at Colin and Penelope's wedding was also very sweet and bold in the way her family wanted.
Yeah it's kinda sad what will happen to him if they will follow the path of the book
@@juliaboskamp9666 it really is :( I haven't read the books but a friend of mine has and told me about what happens. I am curious as to what they have planned for Eloise, since I have a feeling it will definitely vary from the books. I can actually see her with Lord Debling if they change her story.
Claudia is simply iconic 👌🏼
Came here to say this too lol (about Eloise hiding)
I love the more quiet, understated, introverted love of this couple. I never expected a TV couple to speak to me so much! 🙂
While it’s nice to have an engaging conversation from time to time, I too find more comfort in the silences my partner and I share. It’s comforting to know he is there and there’s no pressure to talk or do anything. I love to talk but I also need quiet and solace to think and relax. I am grateful my partner understands this. I can leave a party we are at and go sit in our car for 20-30 minutes and he knows I’m just recharging.
What a wonderful relationship! Happy for you :)
My parents both say that the moment they knew they were perfect for each other was when they realized they had spent an entire afternoon reading next to each other without feeling the need to say a word.
I spent 4 years in a relationship with a man I knew I didn't want to stay with, but all of my friends and family were excited for me and encouraged me to stick around. We had plenty in common and I would have otherwise called him a very good friend, but the truth was I wasn't in love with him and didn't see a future together. I stayed anyway because I thought that those feelings would come to me in time, but they didn't, and I left. Leaving was hard, but staying would have been harder. Immediately I knew I made the right decision because of the relief I felt.
Eight months later, I started dating the love of my life, and we are now happily married. 😊
In a similar situation. But I am indecisive and am fearful of making the wrong decision. I constantly question and doubt if I genuinely love him or not, going back and forth whether I should leave or stay.
I’ve just gotten so comfortable at this point, leaving him wouldn’t be easy.
Do you have any advice for over-thinkers/indecision?
Thanks.
Possibly unpopular opinion, but I don't think our society favors extroversion, necessarily, but rather outspokenness. You can be an outspoken and confident introvert, and people will still respect you. It's shy and reserved people who society disapproves of.
Great insight 😮
That gets viewed as being extroverted though.
My parents wanted me to date my best friend. We had known each other since 8th grade. We got along great and are still very close friends to this day, but I never saw his as a romantic partner. He actually introduced my husband to me. My husband and I have dated for 28yrs and have been married for 20yrs. Just because you have great chemistry with someone, doesn’t necessarily make a good match.
Dated for 28 years???? Wow. That's a lot. Not judging or anything, just saying that in my perception 28 years of dating is a lot. Were you in a relationship or just casually date? Cause dating to me sounds like something casual (English isn't my 1st language so when I hear dating I don't think commitment or moving in together, dating isn't exclusive in my mind ).
I am a super introvert, my parents say that I used to crawl under tables or climb up trees to get out of group settings lol We had a big extended family growing up, mom once counted over 300 family members in a 30 mile radius. Everyone kept introducing me to these extremely extroverted guys in hopes that one would 'break me out of my shell' ... I remember having the exact same feeling as Francesca with the big family when one guy invited me to his families house to play games and he mentioned there would be like 20 people there (that was a no from me) LOL Thankfully I married someone who is an 'outgoing introvert' and will happily sit across the couch from me in silence and decompress together at the end of the day; and in group settings he'll chat with other people while I sit back and enjoy myself :)
I would really be interested in your take on Eloise and friendship, especially this season. Because as much as I love her independency and free spirit, I do think she was (is?) a terrible friend.
Yes!!
Yes! This!
I feel like if she simply stopped one second and actually listened and thought about it, she would have been a much better friend.
I have nothing against Eloise in general, but in season 3 when she asked Penelope after the engagement announcing how long those feelings have been there....like, girl, everyone has known! 😅
I agree, it’s always about herself. She does not really listen well and she only sometimes cares and supports her friends. It’s probably why she didn’t know that Pen was Lady WD.
Yup
Yeah, for someone who rants on and on about the way their society treats women, when Cressida was experiencing that mistreatment in real time and needed help, Eloise couldn't even be bothered to pay attention.
I heard on medcircle with Dr. Ramani who said that introverts are great leaders that are often overlooked because they are quiet and reserved, but they can be so wise (thinking introvert) because of what they observe in their silence others sort of enjoy socialising (social introvert), the message that I got from that video was that introverts can be great leaders because they know how to listen because they sit in silence when people talk about their problems and take everything in because they want to give good advice and that's what makes them such great leaders.
They're so quiet but that just means that they know how to listen wholeheartedly to understand and then give valuable and wise advice to those who are in their company and I think we have much to learn from them
I've never been pressured to date or marry a person. However, every time I see family or friends that I haven't seen in a long time they always ask me if I'm dating someone, and when I say no they question me on it. It's not in a bad or disappointed way, but as an asexual introvert it can sometimes feel like they are pressuring me to date someone. And sometimes it can be tiring to explain that I'm not interested in dating, because it can feel like they don't hear me or listen, but I also know they are just asking because they are interested in my life.
In that way I sometimes feel like Eloise, that I'm not interested in dating or getting married or having children, yet surrounded by people who think they are helping me find happiness by pushing me towards dating.
I was so excited by Francesca's love story. Not only do we get to see a neurodivergent couple but more importantly we finally get a relationship based in genuine connection and love as opposed to just lust and passion.... and then... devasated by the fact that they ruined it as it had just begun with: lust and passion. That was so sad! TV needs more diversity in the depiction of love and also show more what true love is like.
The way they just sit in silence and are completely happy with it is exactly how me and my best guy friend are like (we are both autistic)
Yes, I am so happy to see an introvert's story told! And coming from a family of introverts, I completely understand the sitting in silence, spending quality time with someone, in the same room, to feel connected to them without needing much conversation or interaction (just reading next to each other, or, as you mentioned, just eating together).
And yes, I LOVE Lady Bridgerton. She doesn't understand Francesca but she sees her and supports her.. what better show of love is there?!
Yes! You are totally right about the love Lady Bridgerton shows to Francesca. It's beautiful. 💜
JONO I love hearing you say “outgoing introvert” because that’s what I call myself all the time. I would call myself an ambivert because I do need somewhat frequent small interactions to function, but generally I love people but they exhaust me and I need ample time by myself. Having bipolar disorder doesn’t help because I get amped up when I’m around people sometimes (I like to call it situational mania 😂). I don’t always know how to turn myself and need to be alone in order to do that fully.
I love this! Nobody believes me when I tell them I'm an introvert because I'm outgoing. Thank you for explaining this!
They told such a lovely love story away from the well trodden path of meaningful stares and untameable passions. Just two people realising they belong together and following their hearts. And then the writer decided to throw it all in the bin within the last few minutes of the season. 🙄
I'm an introvert that has trained herself to act like an extrovert if necessary. But it's not a coincidence I chose to marry and extreme introvert. My sister in law after the wedding asked what I like so much about her brother that I decided to move to Greece for him and I said that he's the only person I know I can spend 72 hours in the same room with and not feel bothered or exhausted.
This video is great, but the whole point of knowing yourself, accepting the introvert within you and being able to choose the right partner based off of that knowledge is a bit null and void when you have foreknowledge of Franchesca's story from the books...
[BOOK SPOILER]
I don't normally care all that much about adaptations being too far off from the source material, I love reading books, and part of that is the act of the written word being translated to my imagination as I read, and that is something no movie can take from me, but I was disappointed with this adaptation _because_ I really loved what they did with Franchesca's and John's story (which doesn't appear in her book at all, it is all about her second marriage to his cousin).
I thought it was such an important and beautiful story to show, of people finding comfort and kinship in simplicity and a quiet sort of love, that doesn't rely on jealousy or anger to show passion, but rather on understanding - I loved it so so much when John's "big jesture" to try to show Violet he really cares about Franchesca was asking her to dance publically - no one else would have considered that as a big outgoing jesture, but he knew that for himself and for Franchesca it would be - But then they went ahead and introduced a genderswap - Michela, a female cousin instead of a male one, Michael, from the books.
I don't care that the story is now of a gay coupling (although I truly wonder how that is going to play out...) - it's that I feel that now everything that was pointing towards John and Franchesca having a healthy loving relationship got turned on its head - Nope, it's not a validation for introverted people being true to themselves, it's not that quiet and tender romances can be just as strong as one who's fraught with challanges - it's that she's actually gay and doesn't know it yet, Violet was right all along, if you're not mad with passion and want to shout-kiss your partner and have violent sex in public places you're not really in love (which is I'm guessing what we'll see in the genderswapped version of Franchesca's story when the show turns to her..)
YES! I'm going to vent my spleen here because it's been bugging me. I really dislike that they introduced Michaela at the end of this season. Francesca's twitter-pated response undermines *everything* she argued to her mother about her love for John. I thought it was awful. It sounds like her book is a friends to lovers trope (is it?), but if so, doing it this way undermines her story structure AND her character development.
This. As an introvert myself I loved Francesca's and John's sweet, quiet relationship, I thought it was beautiful and it was so nice to see two introverts being represented as in love on screen. Then Micheala swoops in at the end and Francesca gives her this lingering look and I'm like, oh. Well never mind then :(
Same. I haven't read the books but heard about them and I love the start of their marriage here but it feels like they're going to underplay their love by saying she's gay and doesn't truly love him
Omg… it’s a gender swap?! BARF! (didn’t read the books obviously)
@@wowkir Yep. Also, the only reason Franchesca even considers remarrying in the books is because she is desperate for a child (which she and John never had) so the gender swap makes no sense on _ANY_ level..
I love franchesca they say thats shes neurodivergent of ASD which i also love about her but i do relate to her all the way and i knew as soon as john came he was the one
I was honestly rooting for John and Francesca to be a neurodivergent couple. LGBTQ+ representation isn’t the only representation that matters.
@@kaylahensley1581 but we have both now and that's wonderful :)
@@voyance4elle Not if what some of us took for autism coding was Francesca having a more guarded personality because she was closeted. I heard from someone on here that was the case, but they didn’t have any citations or interview link so who knows… In either or neither event, I don’t like the way they capped the “quiet courtship” with Francesca falling in love with someone else at first sight.
@@kaylahensley1581 I agree. The whole "deep and true love can manifest in different ways" storyline fell flat the second they introduced Michaela. And they did a huge disservice to John.
@@trullatube in the books she unfortunately loses John a couple of years after marrying and falls in love with his cousin Michael after - which it appears that it has been changed from Michael to Michaela.
I love John and Franny! They're so cute and sweet and I can relate so much to the preferring to be by myself at times. I hope you cover the second half, because there is so much to discuss with all the storylines.
Speaking of being an introvert with a special interest, I'm obsessed with the mantle behind you. Both the millwork and the marble are gorgeous.
Nope. My family told me I was going to be an unmarried, childless, crazy old cat lady. I said screw you, I can do both! Now I have children AND a cat!
So yeah, my friend convinced me that I should marry someone she thought was ideal for me. I regretted taking her advice. It ended in disaster.
Yes, I am like this is as well. I have four other siblings (one is my twin). When we are all in a room with the nieces and nephews as well I dont talk as much because it is overwhelming. Especially, since all my siblings live with in an hour of each other and I am out of state. I tend to talk more on a one in one session. Its hard but I am trying to recognize and make peace with it. I'm just not as out going when there are to many people viding for attention and that's okay.
True. Being comfortable with one's silence isn't just relevant for couples but everyday relationships too.
That sitting in silence was our thing with my late father. I miss him😢 That's how I decided on my husband. While we were dating in our 20s, I had a vision of us in our old age, sitting on a hilltop rock, in silence. That was my sign. When he proposed, all was sealed❤
When I was a child, my mum and sister were talking about me and a boy in my class and that we would look good together. I felt a certain expectation on their part for me to like that boy. And I eventually did start to like him. I didn't really like anything about him in particular, I just thought it would be nice to date him. So I tried to spend a lot of time with him and I waited for him response. He never said he liked me, so after a few years of my crush I talked and reasoned myself out of it. When I think about it now, I see that we wouldn't be a good fit for eachother and am glad I never asked him to date me. That is one choice I will never regret.
From the fee snippets of scenes, I don’t get bad vibes from Samadani and he seemed nice and respectful. He just wasn’t the right choice for Francesca and that is ok.
Personality wise, I may choose John and I love his humor how he fit in with Francesca’s brothers and Will even though they are more outgoing than he is. But he got along with them in a gentle manner, contributed to the conversations because of his intelligence, and had his own sense of humor that meshed well with the other boys. I appreciated that.
I had a very manipulative cousin who wanted me to date the brother of her husband, one day, I found I broke up with my boyfriend and was close to dating him and I don't know what woke me up, but I realized what am I doing? I came to my senses and got back together with my boyfriend, and we been married for 13 years. I am so glad I didn't end up with that guy, and this also started the dissolve of my friendship with my cousin.
Aww, I'm glad that you reconciled with your boyfriend (now husband)! I'm a sucker for reconciliation stories lol
Pressure is pressure. I now realize my first marriage was actually running away from home to escape my parents with someone I thought was trying to do the same with theirs and their family trauma. Also, (at 19) I thought he was the only man who would ever ask.
I have never been pressured to date someone by family. I have been pressured to not date someone by friends. That someone is now my husband, 20 + years later, and they're no longer my friend.
Violet is *Lady* Bridgerton, please 🙈
I like, people, and like having conversations... but in a group I'll retreat before everyone else to he by myself. I'll be fine for a while, but I eventually become overwhelmed. I'm not in the autism spectrum, but i do have ADHD, and I tend to have sensory overload and need to retreat. As I've grown older I've thought myself certain tools to help myself, but when I was younger it was very hard for me.
That fireplace makes it look like Jono has angel wings haha. Coincidence? I think not!
Samadani was the hottest one imo, I’m sad no one picked him
I luv this series of Bridgerthon ❤
I would definately love to see your take on Miss Haversham of Great Expectations.
I had a long distance relationship before we married and frequently during our marriage. Can't say it was wonderful. Glad she chose Colin
I hope we get ALL the Mended Lights for Wicked! There are a lot of folks in that story who need more therapy than can be covered in one Cinema Therapy, and if the movies are even a tenth accurate to the musical there will be plenty to discuss.
Hi Jonathan, so about your question... recently one of my mom's friends called me to talk about this guy who she wants to introduce me to. She assured, basically guaranteed me that he's a good guy and that it would be good to meet with him at least once since I'm getting older and I need to think about my family too as if it's my responsibility. After that, my mom and her friend talked about the guy and later, my mom told me her opinion about this situation. She told me that she wishes that it would turn out well for the reason that she doesn't want to see me struggle later and also it would take some of burden off her shoulder. I honestly felt that I had to choose to meet the guy just for my mom's expectation. My family and I are all asians, and I grew up as a people pleaser. BUT I also like to be alone. I don't see the point of being married or being with anyone (I saw my parents fight A LOT) sooner or later, I'll have to choose to meet him or not, at the moment, I'm just ignoring it 😅
It's your life. Let other people only interfere with it when it's ok for you, for example when you want advise or another opinion. If you are not ok with it make clear that interference is not appreciated (in a firm but friendly way of course). You have only one life. Don't let others guilt-trip you. Your life, you decisions. Nobody knows better what is good for you than you. And if you are wrong sometimes and regret a decision - you will grow from it and do better next time. Good luck, I know it's hard.
Ignoring is not the answer. You don't need to chose what your parents want from you. But make a choice and own up to it.
@@chrissiesbuchcocktail thank you so much for the advice 🙏
@@lisilein2 I wasn't completely ignoring it, but I got the advice to listen to my mom from so many people that I was just tired of it 😔 thanks for the advice! I appreciate it
I never felt pressure to date or marry someone my family picked, but....with the amount of marriages and children in my very, very Catholic family I felt the pressure at a young age to date, marry and have kids long before I was actually mature enough to do so. Now, I and my spouse are addressing that in our family, but I believe there is damage that cannot be reversed from that kind of upbringing.
Similar and different here - the pressure was not to date unless you got married not to marry unless you want planed not to use birth control. Not hating on my parents they were overzealous and honest - but they used birth control for years and regretted it. My rushing into marriage emotionally unprepared and immature during a pandemic was a side effect of good intentions paving a maladaptive life.
You didn't pronounce it well 🤣 you forgot the end Samadani 😂 made me laugh
Thanks for what you're doing, I love it🎉
Fair. I'm trying, hahaha.
Yes, I was pressured. No, I didn't handle it well. At first, I flat out refused to go along with it. Then got emotionally blackmailed (apparently I HAD to go along with i because my mother was tensing up so much that my dad was afraid she'd have a heart attack. Shoulda ignored that.) and went along with it. Got absolutely bored to hell and back each time I went out with him and grew more and more impatient because he was behaving what he thought was as a friend (which he was,. He was a long time childhood friend) but according to our social sphere's standard was courtship (I still feel uncomfortable at this word).In the end, I cornered him and asked him to explain himself ("do you want a relationship or not because you're giving the fam that you want to"). He backed off and apologized for giving the wrong impression. From then on, I never forgave my mother for it and will hold that over her head the next time she starts getting ideas becaus she ruined a perfectly good casual friendship. I now can't be friends with this guy because, although he's nice, I know my mother is sweet on him and thinking about how close I was to being forced into that relationship against my will makes me want to cry.
4:33-5:50 Thank you!!!
You're welcome!
I'm an ambivert, a sprinkle of both!
I have nothing to add. Just commenting for the algorithm.
Francesca my bisexual autistic queen ❤
🏳️🌈💙💜💖😸
I code Francesca and John as being neurodivergent. They seem to have ASD radar with each other, knowing a "kindred soul". Of course I do not know if the writers intended to code these characters this way, but I would not be surprised if they were intended to be autistic because this show tries very hard to give lots of different types of positive representation, such as the lord that is in a wheelchair. As an autistic person I would say that I disagree with the idea that introvert means that being social drains you. Lots of introverts are not drained by social interaction. If being social drains you of energy you might be somewhere on the autism spectrum. I am extroverted even though socializing drains me, and always has. I need time to recover from social activities even though I enjoy them. This is because I am constantly masking being autistic.
What makes me think Francesca maybe autistic? She seems to become distressed with lots of external stimuli, such as her noisy siblings, which is a step above being introverted. She felt the need to leave the party after talking to Samadani because she was overwhelmed and was trying to emotionally regulate. It was the second time she fled social situations because she was overwhelmed. If you will remember she escaped to play piano, which seemed both a form of stim for her and her narrow special interests. In fact, that focus on music to where she could come up with direct ways to improve the song when she talked about it with John seemed like an autistic trait. John's ability to remember what she said to him was a little autistic as well. Their entire communication style was very neurodivergent.
I point all of this out because I think autistic representation is extremely important, and I am hopeful that the writers will say that they were attempting to code these characters as neurodivergent. I also wanted to point this out under a video from a therapist that deals with patients. I am hoping the creator of this video will read this comment with an open mind with an eye towards positive criticism. We have a massive underdiagnosis problem for autistic people, particularly autistic women. Therapists are not taught how autism presents in women. We are diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, eating disorders, and other mental health problems while our autism goes undetected, and getting therapy while autistic is its own thing, without being a therapist that is knowledgeable about autism you can do real harm to autistic people. We know that 1 in 36 people are autistic, and that number keeps going up as we get better at screening and detecting autistic adults that escaped diagnoses as kids. And we use mental health services far more than our allistic counterparts. We are more depressed, anxious, have high comorbidities with a host of secondary conditions. So if you are a therapist it is highly likely that you're encountering autistic people, and because they seem "normal" to you from the outside you're not clocking them. If someone tells me that they require lots of alone time as a result of being around other people that is a huge tell that they could be on the spectrum and really value from having an assessment, and not an online assessment. That isn't going to help people who are highly masking and highly functioning
Susan Cain's book, Quiet is a good book about and for introverts.
Do Cressida next!!!
Are we getting a Colin and pen video or did I miss it?! 😅
I would love to see you do a series on crazy ex girlfriend. it's right up your alley on talking about mental health and relationships.
My mom wanted me to date a fellow highschooler and I had no idea how to make that happen😅.
I also knew there would be some core beliefs that we'd have to talk out. Nothing happened from it
Well, I think it can be really dangerous. Basically Francesca doesn't know him at all. He could be an abuser in marriage just like that.
Roast in the comments..
MRS Bridgerton?! Hahaha
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE consider therapizing Bones. Specifically, Brennan and Booth!!!!!!
There have been at least a couple of times with a couple of different guys in my life where I wouldn't say there was an immediate romance, but the main identifiable reason was because of circumstances outside of our control, and I was in a position where I was still eager to have a friendship-connection if possible. I wasn't closed to the romantic possibilities but I didn't have high expectations either, but people saw how much we seemingly enjoyed being around each other & assumed we were definitely supposed to be headed in a romantic direction. The biggest problem I find with that situation is that all it takes is one mistake on my part for everyone (including the guy, who was perhaps stressed out from all the talk/social expectations) to blame me for the failed relationship, which tells me the guy was never really going to be my friend anyway; true friends aren't ashamed of you & don't try to scapegoat you the minute there's a problem or make out like all the social drama is your fault. Also, true friends are honest with you about their relationship-needs and/or boundaries.😕
I guess the good news is that we don't have to feel guilty about withdrawing from people when they get out of control; at no point in these situations was anyone asking me what MY relationship expectations/needs were & I've learned to object when people play around with things that are going to wind up hurting me and not them.
completely unrelated but i NEED you to therapize challengers
I love, LOVE that the moment Lord Samadani says he wanted eight children, all we saw of Francesca was a Road Runner puff of smoke left behind! 🤣😅😂😅😆 With me being an introvert of the first order, I related to Francesca and John Starling's meet cute, their courtship, and their marriage. I hate that the new showrunner ruined their love story by trying to pander because it was beautiful in the books. We who are introverts (and autistics, too) deserve to have a quiet love story. 😔
Yes, I still am
I can't say I'm being pressure to marry a lawyer that goes to my mother's church, but she strongly hinted that I should get to know him. Yet, I don't want to be reminded of ex's parents' work, which ironically same as this person.
Are you still watching Gilmore Girls? I'm looking forward your reactions to season 03.
My partner and I are similar in some ways, but way more different. However, it's been almost 10 years and everyone who has known us since the beginning clocked the fact we were (somehow) a perfect match 😅
Honestly, a running joke between us is how do we work? 😂
You described this really well. I guess I'm an outgowing introvert too. With the right people, and in doses.
I can really enjoy it to be around and connect on shared interests (also I have that extremely rarely nowadays), but it still wear's me out. In a good way in that case, maybe comparable to being physically exhausted and feeling good about it after for example a workout.
Actually, physical and social often went hand in hand for me: entomogist in all-day-long (or even night for some specialties like moths and bats) (and this up to 3 days in a row) field work with peers. And all the ID and mounting and labeling and feeding the data-base that follows. (There's "Biodiversity Weekend" organized every two years in Luxembourg, where I live. And workED (invalidity pension because of my desastrout mental health) for the national research center linked to the Natural History Museum. Sorry, hard to make this all short. Friday is ateliers for shool classes. Saturday and Sunday is for the biologists, professional or not. Goal is to prove occuence of as many species as possible in a chosen municipality. The the more experts of different groups are present, the longer the list have a chance to get. I love this with all my heart. But it's hard work. I haven't taken part in years, sadly. Long digression... (Funny also one year with bad weather (like raining all day long), one of the botanists stated that they have no excuse other than lack of motivation, because the plants can't hide away (as animals and especially insects do). I miss when I was functionable enough to work...
As for socialising wiht the "wrong" people or when forced to: even more draining.
Well, she shows John Sterling mainly because she’s helpless was in love
The pressure has kinda tailed off for now. I can honestly say I can't see myself with anyone or having that life. Do I hope for it? Kinda. Will I be disappointed if I don't have a husband and kids? Not sure. But I know I'll regret not having adventures before it. My friend wanted me to have kids within a year of her having hers but I think it was fear and loneliness that drove that pressure, no one else was having kids at her age at the time and I knew I wasn't ready and I wasn't going to subject a child to the upheaval I was about to face. She said to me once that I was more career orientated than family orientated, I disagree. I want all my ducks in a row before bringing children into the world. She's now facing the issues I didn't want and dreaded for myself if I got pregnant before I was ready. My ducks are nearly in a row, she's still trying to order hers with the chaos that is life ongoing.
I can relate to her.
Jonathan: “Have you ever been in a situation where there was pressure from loved ones to date or marry a certain person and how did you handle that?”
Me: “Since you like’em so much, YOU marry’em! 😭”
I haven't watched the second part yet (BG3 for the Xbox *finally* got here, so it has CONSUMED ME), but I *really* hope they don't turn Samadani into a villain....
My step parents tried to convince me to date my best friend, and like an idiot, I did, hoping it would make them happy. Turns out as a partner, he was neglectful, abusive, and dishonest. Absolutely would never recommend.
Im extrovert 99% n it irritate me, when im to together with my significat other n they cant be silence n just chill when we are in nature
Autism and PTSD, together at last...
I relate to the traits Francesca exhibits and I'm not autistic but an introvert (turned ambivert). Maybe an unpopular opinion on my part, but I didn't like her relationship with John. It felt somehow empty, like they could be great friends but it didn't give any more elements to be anything else 🤷 as a side note I could sense the autistic in John but not necessarily in Francesca, to me she was more of an introvert.
Introvertism and extrovertism are now words? Why are extroversion and introversion not good enough words in this context?
That sort of thing is actually fairly typical in my experience. One forgets a word that already exists and makes up one from the same root to serve the same function. English in particular is very flexible this way. The original word is still more correct, but the newer ones serve the same function because they are still understood.
@@adedow1333 Not sure because he used both words and didn't he even use them more than once? I guess I was hoping someone would actually confirm my only logical explanation: it seems we call extrovertism to the preference or tendency to be an extrovert. Maybe?
It’s not that deep
NOT the one who wants 8 babies but WON’T be the one carrying/ birthing ALL THOSE KIDS 🤬
Who we will choose 🤔A lady 🤭😏
I wish I could reap the benefits of this society that supposedly favors extroversion 🙄 as a woman in STEM, I feel too extroverted for science, steeped in an environment of introverts (INTJs specifically 🙄). It’s so freaking lonely and soul sucking and crushing and draining. Being able to buckle down and just chug away at lab work for hours on end is what’s valued, and I can’t wait to leave science so that I can be in an environment where my extroversion will be a gift like apparently it is in the rest of society.
No matter what, never choosing a sindhi😂 JK💀
I keep hearing fans say Francesca is on the neurodivergent spectrum
I love that they teased a potential WLW storyline for Francesca, by having her showing brief interest in her husband's cousin Michaela, a gender swap from the original novels.
I don’t mind the gender flip, but the way they teased it was an absolute disservice to the story they told this season.
@@kaylahensley1581 Yes! I was so here for the "There are different ways to express love" story line, and this just made it seem like ACTUALLY only one feeling is valid. If you're not feeling fireworks, it not "real".
The wlw storyline actually changes her story DRASTICALLY. They should have made El into women
Ewwww disgusting
video importee dans ma tete.
XD I did that. I have enjoyed silence with ppl from time to time even though I'm overall the socially comforrtable type introvert. I love when it's possible. I need that for my brain. If ppl cannot bear their own mind without making their mouth work, I'm starting to struggle on the long run.
The real answer is Michaela Sterling lmaoo
Well, that's an easy question. Nobody has ever wanted me to marry anyone. Nobody has ever wanted to marry me. The myth that everyone has good qualities that others find appealing is totally disproven. After a half century of rejection any hope of True Love or other fairy tales would be pure delusion.
And yet I have a pretty good life. I have raised the art of introversion to a high pathology.yy social needs are modest, to say the least.
I can't have what I want, but what I have is actually pretty good. I know plenty of people who aren't doing as well, even when they have more.
The empty space on the bookshelves indicate that Alicia got the guardianship of a lot of books in the divorce.
Incorrect. This is not either of our homes. We both still have a lot of books.
Are you renting a studio for these videos?
let’s be kind and not speculate on people’s private lives 🙏🏻