I feel like growing up is realizing that there is no "one true love" or "one true best friend," but that's because variety in your relationships is good actually
This is similar to what my therapist had to talk me through. I was frustrated a friend wasn’t trying to hang n make plans w/me that much anymore. So she said that you can only get certain things from certain ppl.. so I had to go find a friend who WOULD want to meet to do things.. Or who was good to confide in, or get advice from. You have to go out, meet ppl, and determine which of those people can provide the comfort/guidance/entertainment you need. Also have to accept that those ppls roles can sometimes change.
Love how you two aren't afraid to work through relationship stuff in "public"! It's such a helpful example of clear communication between very different personalities. It's hard to find good communication modeled so thanks for putting this out!
i relate to gabe’s view on what alison was calling “politeness.” it’s not that we think politeness is bad, it’s that it’s often just confusing. as direct communicators we literally don’t understand what alison’s intent is with the emoji. it doesn’t mean we want orders, just clearer communication like for allison in this example to literally just text “should we get microphones bc i don’t know, what do you think?” rather than using the confusing emoji and relying on gabe to understand layers of subtext
I think it would be Gabe's responsibility to ask a followup for clarity. Communication is a two way street after all, and texting is meant to be short so needs to have subtext. Otherwise we'd all be writing essays to eachother.
so nice to hear gabe acknowledge their past "we were in our twenties, we were girlies" :) Going forward doesnt always have to mean invalidating the past
It’s nice hearing y’all talk about the ebbs, flows, and shifts of your relationship over the years. It makes me think of my own relationships and how different relationships meet different needs. Love ya!! ❤
Different people fulfil different roles in our lives. Recognising that has helped me nurture long lasting relationships and a talent network of friends
i don’t usually comment on the youtube videos but just wanted to thank u for including the last conversation! it was really helpful to hear healthy communication :)
I liked the last section on communication styles and how we can misread others intent with messages. I have been in both situations where in work things I am a Gabe but with friend things I am an Allison.
this is a great video! friendships evolve and adapt and it’s so important to verbalize some of those changes! this helps me with future convos i’d hope to have with friends who are just being transparent on a couch love the channel more and more after all these years
I am so envious of this level of healthy communication. I wish I was at a point where I was able to mend old friendships to reflect the people we’ve become.
Heya Alison and Gabe - yes please use lav mics when recording. Will sounds 1000x better. Will always come back for the content. But better audio will retain more listeners.
That last part of the video reminded me of the difference in high context culture and low context culture (otherwise known as ask/guess cultures). Can you talk about that, and how that leads to a lot of misunderstandings?
Honestly my best friends (in terms of tiers) are just people that I trust and know will be there for me whenever I need them. It's the trust that put them in best friend tiers, but that doesn't mean we hang out a lot or talk every day, nope.
I can relate to this post a lot as i have never had one consistent best best friend thru my life, just a group of friends who i love dearly who at certain points i have been closer with and at other points less so. Ive even had a few who i stopped talking to eventually because there was no fixing the issues we had but in general i have had these friendships for 26 years, 21 years, going on 6 years, and my newest friend who i connect with the most tbh i have known a little less than 2 years. I look forward to growing and changing with these people as we go thru life. We havent always agreed or seen eye to eye but they have been there for me always and thats more than i can say for some of my own flesh and blood. Ive loved watching you two grow over the years and hope me and my own friends can achieve this level of platonic intimacy. 😊
I'd also like the point out that texting is a different kind of communication where you can't read facial expressions or voice tone. So, adding emojis is a way to try and express that. But it's def not perfect.
To answer what we can all agree is the most important point you either need lav mics or a bunch of soft furniture in the room. Lav mics get you closer to the mic so you can have it just pick up you and not the echo and furniture kills the echo Now, the extreme version of both solutions is handheld/boom microphones up in your face or acoustic treatment in the room but I feel like both of those aren’t solutions you want
I don't really know these people tbh I kind of accidentally stumbled upon this video. But I really relate to the not maybe not asking directly and apologizing thing. And I do get how that can be a female socialisation thingy that might not be the best thing in the world. And I do have some times people in my life challenging that and telling me not to do that. But part of it too is just yeah, like the one said, I think its more polite myself. And I'm kinda just more comfortable expressing myself that way. Because sometimes I want others input on something and dont want to be the one ordering anyone about.
I really enjoy this format for you two but I am really struggling with the audio, is there some way to adjust the sound clarity/echoing? I'm using closed captioning, headphone, and lipreading and it still takes deep concentration. I'd really rather concentrate on what you folks are saying than whether or not I can hear it!
I have a question that I think would be good for the couch show - I know I'm not the only longtime fan who likes to binge watch all your old videos for comfort, and I often wonder how Gabe feels about us doing that. I think if he was uncomfy with it, ya'll would take the videos down, but I wonder about it any time I go back to my old faves. Can't wait for the live show tonight!
Love you guys, any chance you can get a different audio set up? It's like the old movies where it's really quite when it's quite and REALLY loud when it's loud. He he
No, I'd call if youth or even immaturity. You are not the same person you were at 27 when you are in your mid 30s. They're both in their mid 30s now and they've matured appropriately, I think. It's called getting older and it happens to all of us.
It's like watching a little boy hit puberty with the voice change. 😂 It feels so weird to see a grown ass adult inside a teenage boy's body. Gabe the babe ftw!
I wish you would stop saying "like, like, like, like, like, like, like" all the time. It's something that irritates my ears. Otherwise you make great, cogent points in these honest videos about friendship. I love that.
I really appreciate this episode🫶🏻I love how vulnerable you both got and went into how your mental health affected your relationship but still worked through it to get to the point you are now
Having just gone through a friendship breakup it's nice to see you guys communicating so healthily around your friendship! Wish my ex-friend and I could've done that 🥲
Friendship breakups are sometimes necessary so don't feel like that's the wrong way to go about it, but also don't forget they also went through a few friendship breakups too over the years.
@@writerchick94 the breakup wasn't my choice so I kinda do feel it was the wrong way to go about it in this case lol. But thanks for the reminder I know it happens some times (not sarcastic!)
I don’t think we acknowledge Allison’s insanely good dog owner skills nearly enough
Literally only realized a dog was in her lap when reading this lol
she has potato breeds not to take credit away but they’re not hard dogs to own…they’re lap dog breeds 😂
@catcat Ok wait r they actually called potato breeds or r u just doing a silly. Love it either way
@@abbyz13 What kind of dogs are they?
I feel like growing up is realizing that there is no "one true love" or "one true best friend," but that's because variety in your relationships is good actually
One day, they'll make a special called the 100th friendship status with Allison and Gabe. I'll be watching ❤
I love the way y’all communicate at this point in your friendship. It’s so healthy and refreshing.
+
I love normalizing close friendships that don't always call or confide about everything
“I think we’re getting along really well now.” They both say with arms crossed 😂
Then Gabe noticed and released their arms 😭♥️
This is similar to what my therapist had to talk me through. I was frustrated a friend wasn’t trying to hang n make plans w/me that much anymore. So she said that you can only get certain things from certain ppl.. so I had to go find a friend who WOULD want to meet to do things.. Or who was good to confide in, or get advice from. You have to go out, meet ppl, and determine which of those people can provide the comfort/guidance/entertainment you need. Also have to accept that those ppls roles can sometimes change.
Love how you two aren't afraid to work through relationship stuff in "public"! It's such a helpful example of clear communication between very different personalities. It's hard to find good communication modeled so thanks for putting this out!
Yes 💖
i relate to gabe’s view on what alison was calling “politeness.” it’s not that we think politeness is bad, it’s that it’s often just confusing. as direct communicators we literally don’t understand what alison’s intent is with the emoji. it doesn’t mean we want orders, just clearer communication like for allison in this example to literally just text “should we get microphones bc i don’t know, what do you think?” rather than using the confusing emoji and relying on gabe to understand layers of subtext
not to speak for gabe here but it seems like he and i have similar communication styles
I think it would be Gabe's responsibility to ask a followup for clarity. Communication is a two way street after all, and texting is meant to be short so needs to have subtext. Otherwise we'd all be writing essays to eachother.
I say this with all the love in the world but this made me think Gabe might be a little on the spectrum?
@@ratata365 my first thought as well
so nice to hear gabe acknowledge their past "we were in our twenties, we were girlies" :) Going forward doesnt always have to mean invalidating the past
This is the JBU content I crave
It’s nice hearing y’all talk about the ebbs, flows, and shifts of your relationship over the years. It makes me think of my own relationships and how different relationships meet different needs. Love ya!! ❤
Gabe's voice is getting so deep! I've watched this video right after watching one from a few weeks back and woah, was I blown away by that!
Different people fulfil different roles in our lives. Recognising that has helped me nurture long lasting relationships and a talent network of friends
This is unrelated to the conversation but I hope one day I can achieve the level of chill and cozy that Allison‘s dog is giving off.
My rejection sensitivity is exploding watching this lol
exposure therapy fr lmao
right
i don’t usually comment on the youtube videos but just wanted to thank u for including the last conversation! it was really helpful to hear healthy communication :)
:~) how special to be friends for so long, even if past stages were unpleasant
them laughing together
I liked the last section on communication styles and how we can misread others intent with messages. I have been in both situations where in work things I am a Gabe but with friend things I am an Allison.
this is a great video! friendships evolve and adapt and it’s so important to verbalize some of those changes! this helps me with future convos i’d hope to have with friends who are just being transparent on a couch
love the channel more and more after all these years
I am so envious of this level of healthy communication. I wish I was at a point where I was able to mend old friendships to reflect the people we’ve become.
Heya Alison and Gabe - yes please use lav mics when recording. Will sounds 1000x better. Will always come back for the content. But better audio will retain more listeners.
Yeees. I actually stopped this one cause the audio quality
That last part of the video reminded me of the difference in high context culture and low context culture (otherwise known as ask/guess cultures). Can you talk about that, and how that leads to a lot of misunderstandings?
Honestly my best friends (in terms of tiers) are just people that I trust and know will be there for me whenever I need them. It's the trust that put them in best friend tiers, but that doesn't mean we hang out a lot or talk every day, nope.
Current status: on the couch together again 🤩
you guys are so cool for talking about this
I can relate to this post a lot as i have never had one consistent best best friend thru my life, just a group of friends who i love dearly who at certain points i have been closer with and at other points less so. Ive even had a few who i stopped talking to eventually because there was no fixing the issues we had but in general i have had these friendships for 26 years, 21 years, going on 6 years, and my newest friend who i connect with the most tbh i have known a little less than 2 years. I look forward to growing and changing with these people as we go thru life. We havent always agreed or seen eye to eye but they have been there for me always and thats more than i can say for some of my own flesh and blood. Ive loved watching you two grow over the years and hope me and my own friends can achieve this level of platonic intimacy. 😊
i absolutely love the expressions that it froze on at the end.
I was so happy to see Gabe at the bachelorette party! It makes me really happy that y'all are close again
I’ll forever love couch jbu ❤️
I really love this insight into the changes with you guys' relationship 🥰
This was awesome :) and I think its cool to go through stages in friendships- who knows what the future has for you guys
Couch jbu brings me ✨joy✨
I'd also like the point out that texting is a different kind of communication where you can't read facial expressions or voice tone. So, adding emojis is a way to try and express that. But it's def not perfect.
Maybe Allison just wanted a boy best friend 😂
To answer what we can all agree is the most important point you either need lav mics or a bunch of soft furniture in the room.
Lav mics get you closer to the mic so you can have it just pick up you and not the echo and furniture kills the echo
Now, the extreme version of both solutions is handheld/boom microphones up in your face or acoustic treatment in the room but I feel like both of those aren’t solutions you want
I could just watch these for the dogs. They’re the best.
such a blessed video and great convo. love the way you actively listen and seek to understand one another. exquisite.
this was a great video. loved all the honesty :)
love the jbuniverse updates
Gabe your voice is coming in amazing ❤
Thanks for sharing with us. It’s so true and honest
Seeing this video threw me for a loop because jsut the other day I got recommended a video from five years ago on the same topic
I don't really know these people tbh I kind of accidentally stumbled upon this video. But I really relate to the not maybe not asking directly and apologizing thing. And I do get how that can be a female socialisation thingy that might not be the best thing in the world. And I do have some times people in my life challenging that and telling me not to do that.
But part of it too is just yeah, like the one said, I think its more polite myself. And I'm kinda just more comfortable expressing myself that way. Because sometimes I want others input on something and dont want to be the one ordering anyone about.
I really enjoy this format for you two but I am really struggling with the audio, is there some way to adjust the sound clarity/echoing? I'm using closed captioning, headphone, and lipreading and it still takes deep concentration. I'd really rather concentrate on what you folks are saying than whether or not I can hear it!
Now we need an update on your friendship with Igor please ❤🙏
They are not friends anymore
@@הראלאגמון Sorry ior asking so long after you left a comment but what makes you think that, if you don't mind?
Loving Gabe’s tie-dye! 💙
Yessss give us the tea 🍵 👀
loved this
My favorite couch show ❤
Seems like just yesterday I was watching the "IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT" era
I have a question that I think would be good for the couch show - I know I'm not the only longtime fan who likes to binge watch all your old videos for comfort, and I often wonder how Gabe feels about us doing that. I think if he was uncomfy with it, ya'll would take the videos down, but I wonder about it any time I go back to my old faves. Can't wait for the live show tonight!
Loved this
Love you guys, any chance you can get a different audio set up? It's like the old movies where it's really quite when it's quite and REALLY loud when it's loud. He he
Sugar has to be a couch pod regular!
phantom looks like the barbie dancing dogs (as a compliment)
look at that happy dowgee
I adore you both.
Thanks for your videos over the years, guys. Ever thoughtful and funny
So this sparklingly joyful between-us connection and energy from the days was just theater and the lack of meds?
No, I'd call if youth or even immaturity. You are not the same person you were at 27 when you are in your mid 30s. They're both in their mid 30s now and they've matured appropriately, I think. It's called getting older and it happens to all of us.
Gabe’s forearms look great 😍
gabe looks so handsome i love it
Gabe’s voice is suuuper hot
This is an interesting listen
I apologize if this is not the forum for troubleshooting but anyone else sign up for 4/20 show and not get a link to the recording?
I’m glad you guys are doing well
Were yall not friends for a bit? I feel like I am missing something
Yeah, they weren't friends for a while a few years ago, I think they have a podcast episode dedicated to it
Ok I haven't watched this show in YEARS....has gaby transitioned?!?
HELLO ALISON'S MOM
When did bbno$ get on the podcast?
Couch, couch, couch, couch
Wait gabe isn’t getting married anymore?
No their relationship ended in, I believe, November.
@@getknittywithit thank you now I got to go looking for podcast episode around that time to figure out what happen
@@sheeps_ ep 216
@@krystal_senem you are amazing
@@krystal_senem do you know what the episode name is? i’m getting confused looking for it like an idiot
Does it mean you are not bestie anymore? 😢
Did you hear about buzzfeed closing?
Buzzfeed News is closing. Not buzzfeed entirely.
im 98% sure that dog is dead.
If artificial intelligence needs to understand friendship I hope it uses you two as a style model ❤❤❤❤❤
Are y’all roomies too or no?
were they ever?
They are not
Is that dog alive
I always Hedge
you two remind me of me and my ex
Haven’t seen them in a while and ….. wtf
No sound? Or user error on my part lol
User error lol got it to work
Growing up is just weird, isn’t it.
The asking as a question instead of just saying it directly feels like the allistic vs autistic communication.
I think it’s also a thing between “asking” households and “telling” households
Ok it was so uncomfortable to watch.
I can/want be Friends with both of you, if you want 👉👈
Instant click!!
It's like watching a little boy hit puberty with the voice change. 😂 It feels so weird to see a grown ass adult inside a teenage boy's body. Gabe the babe ftw!
First!!!
I wish you would stop saying "like, like, like, like, like, like, like" all the time. It's something that irritates my ears.
Otherwise you make great, cogent points in these honest videos about friendship. I love that.
I really appreciate this episode🫶🏻I love how vulnerable you both got and went into how your mental health affected your relationship but still worked through it to get to the point you are now
Bad, no terrible, sound makes good video look bad.
Well, they changed... to worse...
unfortunately
Jesus. When did Gabi start believing she's a man? Scary to check back in with people after so much and see they're more lost than ever.
yikes!
Allison got so chunky omg
Having just gone through a friendship breakup it's nice to see you guys communicating so healthily around your friendship! Wish my ex-friend and I could've done that 🥲
Friendship breakups are sometimes necessary so don't feel like that's the wrong way to go about it, but also don't forget they also went through a few friendship breakups too over the years.
@@writerchick94 the breakup wasn't my choice so I kinda do feel it was the wrong way to go about it in this case lol. But thanks for the reminder I know it happens some times (not sarcastic!)