What Makes a Narcissist?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 พ.ย. 2024
- What causes a narcissist to be created?
Are we pulled fully formed from the spawning vat? Do we develop into narcissists over time, over what time period and why? HG Tudor provides the detail on what function narcissism serves and what makes a narcissist. You need to know this as part of building your defences.
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I grew up in a lack of control environment with dysfunctional parents. I would consider my mother to be a narcissist. She was malicious towards me. I didn't become like her.
Apparently you didn't inherit the gene. Smh
That's because the environment makes either a narc or empath.. thats why
My mother was a narcissist and I am an empath so not sure about environment.
If I recall correctly he says you have to have the genes and the treatment that causes someone to become a narcissist. By treatment, I mean that a parent or someone who is close to the child treats that child in an abusive way. It is usually a narcissist or sociopath that creates future generations of narcissists.
👍 Thumbs up.
I relate.
I have a genetic predisposition to narcissism, because at least one of my parents is a narcissist, and I suspect there's something wrong with the other parent too. I also grew up with a lack of control and experienced several of the examples that you gave. I'm definitely not a narcissist, though sometimes I can be arrogant, because I don't lack empathy for other human beings. Matter of fact, I think I empathize too much with others and that usually leads to my downfall. Eew, if 1 in 6 people are a narcissist, there's an epidemic of narcissism going on. Even my previous life coach was a narcissist which is beyond troubling, so you all have to be careful who you seek out for help. Better the devil you know than the devil you don't, at least we all know what HG Tudor is.
1 in 4 people are diagnosable NPD.
I think it's totally amazing that an actual Narc/psychopath/criminal is responsible for helping and educating so many people/victims of Narcs, to help them avoid being soul crushed by psychic vampires (tho I know you say you are only doing this for your own gain/legend). You've put an enormous amount of work into these videos. Thank you, H.G. I'm really sorry your Mom hurt you so badly. I think we all would like to give you a big hug although that will never happen nor probably well received.
He isn't a criminal dont know where you got that from?
It was his Mother he did a video on it @@keepitreal665
Highly intelligent narcs seek understanding then want to educate.
Not any, he is good actually he dives deeeeeper than the narcs themselves in his videos have no clue, I understand my ex now more than her lol…I got to that conclusion before tudor videos using logic and I told her to fuck off but he with his deep explanations and examples and….he confirms a lot about her and confirm a lot about how I came to my final conclusion to drop that shit.
Control is number one. Wish I knew this years ago!! Thank You HG 💕💕
Me too xx
Unbelievable and fascinating that this all occurs and cannot be changed between the ages of 0-9
Hence, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.
One would think that over time the disorder would evolve, understand, grow, adapt and become versatile.
One in six, how unfortunate.
No wonder our world is crumbling.
I'd argue that with the discovery of Neuroplasticity sheds a different light on this. The brain can change, so can personalities. However, you must identify what you'd want to change first and most likely won't be able to do it alone. Also finding someone who can help you with that and who's willing to do so might not be the easiest task.
And it’s only getting worse. Narcissists lack so much self awareness to begin with. And, acknowledging who they are and what they are is like annihilation. It’s like a self death. It’s like looking into the inner abyss. I’ve seen it right before my eyes with people who have had a narcissistic injury. Maybe one and 10,000 might change. But the world itself is becoming much more narcissistic and self-centered. Which does not bode well for us as a society.
Child protective services, family courts, schools, etc., are all abysmal failures at protecting young children from such harm. On the contrary, they are far more often enablers, especially where narcissistic abuse is involved. Consider that those over-worked services are already the last resort for desperate victims (for those with access to it in the first place). And that involves only one type of narc-developing environment.
The community impact of this needs some serious attention, in addition to the individual. One in six is indeed potent, then consider the number of co-conspiratorial "flying monkeys" and it really is no wonder....
I believe its 6 out of 100 but maybe 1 in 6 are narcissistic. Different than NPD.
People don't realise how important it is to treat young children with love and support because they think it doesn't matter because they're too young to remember. Most importantly, a lot of people don't even want to be parents or aren't actually ready to have kids, so they don't show enough attention or emotional support towards their child.
Simply brilliant! Yes indeed you are weaponizing this empath! This is helping me understand my very own brother and why he has to be the center of attention at family gatherings and all gatherings "must be" at his home. He has ALWAYS had a disdain for me as his younger brother when I never did anything but support him. This is a boatload of information! Even if this was the only video you ever made. Simply brilliant. Bravo
I have allso a brother... So much problem
I have a sister
My brother exactly. Sucks the oxygen out of the whole room. Loud, obnoxious, grandiose and so very charming to so many others.
Both narcissists and empaths are exposed to early developmental trauma, it depends how they cope and who they identify with, the empath identifies with the victim and would never imagine inflicting such horrors on another cos they know how it feels the narcissist identifies with the oppressor and vows never to be treated that way. Narcissists are essentially weak minded the only difference is choice an empath isn't naive they know how to hurt and manipulate but they choose not to, the narcissists derive joy from abuse cos it's easier.
I definitely identified with the victim. And I always wanted justice.
Narcissists do not experience joy. They experience power.
Perfectly explained!
Narcs can certainly identify with the victim. In fact, they probably feel and even are victims a lot more often than empaths. Moreover, Narcs I think in most instances either don't think or realize that they are hurting people, or they see is as justified because the think that they are defending themselves. And sometimes they are defeinding themselves, but they overreact. More often, they create conflicts where there is none.
And since narcs view their environment as a threat, they lash out at everything and everybody, creating the very threat that they try to control.
So true.
Listening to this - I recognize the B grader construct - whatever I did was not good enough -I only did well in sports. In fact, my grades were so bad I barely graduated from high school - I didn't think I was very smart. I think my mother was a narcissist - she was not nurturing, in fact, my parents let me know that I was a "mistake" - unplanned pregnancy. When they got divorced my freshman year in college (yes, even with those grades!) I was so glad to be away from them. After graduation, I moved across the country to get away from them. My dad had no boundaries - he would show up without warning. I was out of touch for years on end....They are both gone now - and I was relieved when they passed. I felt the pressure from a distance. Anyway, I don't know what I am but I have spent my life healing and working through all this emotional pain that I had in my body. I'm good now - went to graduate school (college was a refuge for me during the divorce) - so academia became a place I felt safe and, shall we say it, in control...I mourn the lost years of wandering in the darkness - otherwise, I am grateful I made it out alive and am happy now.
The empath in me understand this coping mechanism and coming from a dysfunctional family, I became an empath and I seem to only attract narcissistic men.
I had the same problem.
After doing alot of research and speaking to highly spiritual people, I realised that we carry our mother's energy.
Especially if she is a narc.
It starts in the womb phase.
We hear every thought of theirs when we r in the womb.
So we attract the narc.
Everything operates from an energy point of view and frequency.
We carry narc energy...so we attract them.
You have to heal your wounds on a DEEP level. If u do this ...u will attract positive energy.
Remember that u would have changed your frequency but not your family.
There will now be a lack of resonance.
Good luck 😊
You probably radiate that you are an easy mark.
Control comes out of FEAR
Omg if u grow in a family of Schycopaths & Narcs& sociopaths
U may end up empath like my self & hv the soul sucked out of u by Narcs
As i awakened Ie--- took power back
Worked thru issues did deep dives
Found out iam fully awake now & realise iam Empath but climb tht mountain a lot bit of Narc schycopath in me
But my Empathic traits tke over
My bro whos only 16 months older is a quite brutal Narc due to our upbringing
Recreated it all again in his own family me (NO)
@@sparkelsdiamond2699 they are more afraid of you!
My parents were both narcissists: my mother was a covert malignant narcissist/food addict and my father was an overt narcissist/sex addict/alcoholic. There was a complete lack of control for us as children in this family environment. My fraternal twin sister (mother's golden child) inherited the narcissist gene and she modeled her behavior after my mother's; so she became a covert malignant narcissist and a carbon copy of my utterly vile and evil mother. My younger sister inherited the narcissist gene and became a covert narcissist/martyr. My brother did not inherit the narcissist gene and became a rescuer of narcissistic women and empathic but not an empath. I was the scapegoat of the family and I have been clinically diagnosed as an empath and I tend to attract narcissists as romantic partners, friends, co-workers, neighbors, and I tend to want to rescue them and I am easily ensnared by narcissists through their pity ploys and sad sack stories. I am recovery now from decades of narcissistic abuse and I am distancing myself from those individuals.
Similar scapegoat story here, I attract narcissists but then they get quickly disenchanted as I don't follow orders. This gives me lots of trouble. At least I know this now, which helps.
Love the way you explain what, how, and why a narcissist is formed. So helpful thank you.
I had all these Ingredients growing up. I believe I was heading in the direction of becoming one, my traits were high, but I didn't turn out to be one. My empathy is also extremely high too. And moreso. I have a sense of deep justice. I do not like bullies. I have had those narcissistic traits and thoughts that I know if I choose it I prob could have become one and at times have definitely seemed like one. But I also felt guilt and a conscience and desire to be good and care for others. Its weird having both traits. Because I feel the ability is definitely there if that's the path I choose. But I didn't. I went the opposite way. I consciencely choose better. I feel in control of any narcissistic traits and kept pulling myself back when I became that way. I know everyone has the traits. Mine were quite high which is why I felt it was easy to challenge a narcissist, going supernova at times, not too harsh, just enough to show I have the ability to give them a taste of their own medicine. I have never allowed myself to truly hurt someone to full capacity because that is not who I want to be. I allow natural consequences for their actions once they cross that line, because that is having healthy boundaries. Once I'm done, I'm done!
I do believe my faith in and fear of God changed me to become more aware and empathic. 😊🙏
Reminds me of me. It sucks having dysfunctional families. But that's alright, we turned ourselves into something better consciously.
@@gaminartube Sorry you grew up in that environment 🙏 Proud of you for putting in the conscious effort to improve yourself. Its not easy but definitely worth it! 😊 You are doing amazing! Hope you were able to get some inner healing from it all🙏💜
That's because you had insight into your own potential shadow(dark) side. When one does their shadow work which is a necessity today, acknowledging that it is potential only you will recognize it because it's scary. If one has no repulsion to harming another and it wasnt frightening, therein lies a latent personality disorderTwo sides to the same coin its imperative to know both exist within.
You sound like a super empath.
I was the B grader and an attempt was made to mold me in the narcissist’s image. I was also the scapegoat for years and asked to lie about our family history. Instead, I told the truth. Periodically, people come to my defense. Strangers and family members. I have accepted my family as they are. They will not live forever, and they are the only family that I have. I don’t wonder how things would’ve turned out with all of the what ifs. I can only move forward from here knowing everything that I know. My father is also a narcissist, and he abandoned me before I was ever born. The only time I’m really ever bothered by having two parents for narcissists is on my birthday. Neither parent acknowledges me on the day I was born. And, I was told I was worthless and useless into my early thirties and that I should have been aborted “jokingly”. So, I don’t allow anyone around on that day that acts like they aren’t glad that I was born. It’s definitely one of my core wounds.
Wow. You matter.
Very understandable you would feel this way. It really hurts to be abandoned. Best to you on your healing journey.♥️
Aww, blessings to you. You matter. I’m so sorry you had to grow up in that environment with a lack of care and love. We all deserve love and care.
Isn't it amazing that a human being (& I don't believe they are fully functioning humans - they're defective) can say "You should have been aborted" & think it's humorous? Mine used to say cruel things & add, "Can't you take a joke?" Irresponsible, immature, & unempathetic - not fully functioning humans.
Sending you a virtual hug 🤗 … So many people aren’t equipped to be parents. Congratulations to you for NOT becoming like them. I too was a B grader… Set my site on a perfect semester grade in HS science class & achieved it with a computer generated 100 in science on my report card. When I showed my incessantly belittling father, his response was: “Why can’t you do that in all your subjects?” I was crushed. He never graduated from HS; finished through 10th grade I think. Heard “I hate you” from mother regularly; never heard her tell anyone she loved them. 🤷🏻♀️
No wonder the world is in such a mess.
I stayed for so long as we are different expressions of the same lived abuse, as with siblings who became abusers rather than the abused. Thanks for this incredible description of it all HG. Breathtaking insight.
I grieve your experience, not that you would desire that but in acknowledgement that you were robbed. Every soul has inherent worth and value.
I grew up in a no control environment where people were always ready to bash me up. Both my parents were narcissists -- mother, a vulnerable narcissist and father, a grandiose narcissist. They quarrelled like a cat and mouse. Never got along. There used to be physical assault occasionally and verbal assault was the norm. The energy around the house always used to be so tense. I didn't become a narcisst of any type. Perhaps because I had my grandparents with me & I was sent to a boarding school at the age of 9.
But I will tell you what I did though. I cut myself off fromt he whole family. Everyone. It has been magical. I have recovered so much. I have grown and evolved. More courageous now. Have a deeper understanding of the world and life in general. Honestly, I have never felt this amount of satisfaction my whole life. I finally feel at peace. I don't feel the need to go about proving myself to everyone so that I can get some love and acceptance. I feel free. I am so much more secure.
Narcissism is anything to keep the primal screams of agony being expressed and truly resolving the narcissism.
Well written. So much wisdom in such short line. Respect! EPIC!
Wat
The most concise explanation I have heard out of many gurus on youtube.
This is the answer I have been looking for. I will need to listen several times in order to process..... to put into a thought order. Thank you for this information. What a terrible situation for a child...heartbreaking.
Thank you for sharing all that, HG. It was one of your best videos.
Thank you.
I agree!
I agree as well. It makes the most sense as to why they are maladaptive and cannot change. I have never believed in the whole demonic possession thing and was glad when HG addressed that theory. I listened to a video a few years ago from The Little Shaman and it made so much sense to me. She said there have been studies of brain scans on individuals diagnosed with NPD and have found that they are born with less gray matter in the brain. Gray matter in the brain is where empathy is formed in most children around the ages of 5. She also talked about brain schemas. Brain schemas are a preconceived set of ideas that once they are formed are most likely to remain unchange. When I hear people say Narcissists have arrested development around this age I never understood why, but it makes sense to me now. They never had it to begin with! How can you hold them accountable for something they never had any control over. This also makes sense to me when people say they all operate from the same rule book, no matter where in the world they are. I saw the frustration at times in the narcissist I dated. If it weren't for HG I would have never known I was dealing with an upper lesser or possibly lower mid-range, because I felt he was not aware a lot of the times of the things that he did and on top of that I never had a golden period...I only had the bronze. I also never felt he was calculating in his punishment. It was always out of left field and I knew he didn't have bipolar disorder. I am not excusing any of his behavior. I'm just trying to give myself the closure I will never get from him and move on with my life.
I think HG explained that the power his parents used and abused him with became a potential attraction to him to be like them,in control at all times.The thoughts that can be passing through a child's mind when they suffer abuse can be shocking even to them.I attended a private school where a terrifying teacher of art ridiculed my distinction in exams and tore up my exam papers.My thoughts were so intense about wishing the demise of my tormentor that it scared me witless when a terrible accident had occurred.A passing lorry carrying concrete had off loaded onto their car and the teacher had not survived.I vowed never to think like that again because being a child,I was convinced, my thoughts had influenced the outcome.
I have seen so many channels on narcissism and this one right here, by HG, is the BEST I have come across. Thank you. Really.
HG, that’s the most brilliant and concise explanation I’ve ever heard.
Thank you.
Wow your the first to make narcissism make sense!!
Thank you.
@@hgtudor-theultra I'm not sure I get it HG. When both parents are narcissists , why is it that one sibling is a total empath and the other a full blow narcissist just like the parents ? As kids of two narcs, they are subjected to lack of control environment one as golden child where whatever he does is brilliant and the scapegoat whatever she does always falls short. So lack of control is a given for both kids and also genetic predisposition from both the narc parents is guaranteed.
So why does one child turn out to be an empath and the other a narc ?
What horrible irony. The need to control everything is an impossible task. There are so many narcissists I know whose lives are absolute train wrecks. The more they try to control, the more they sabotage their own lives even if they don't or can't see it that way. The only saving grace (if you can call it that) is that they are survivors. They manage to talk, worm, force their way out of really bad situations. I used to kind of admire that "skill" but have since realized I don't have the "skill" because I would never get myself into that type of jam in the first place.
Truly enlightening; thank you. Lack of control --due to hurricanes, illness, human incompetence--makes me very anxious. But I deal with the situation; I don't prey on others. I try to restore order. If I can't, I become very vrry anxious, but...I was raised to suck it up and carry on. Complaining, tantrums, lack of self control were not part of my family culture.
The best explanation ever... Thank you. I still am boggled from time to time as to the absolute madness that Narcissists live in, and must be reminded.
this has really blown me away, so much so that I have had to listen a few times. I'm beginning to understand just how the dynamics worked within my own dysfunctional family as I was growing up. Pure gold, thank you HG
I grew up in abuse . I was abandoned and neglected. I wasn’t wanted and never felt loved and it's messed me up and not understanding why but I never turned into a predator. I'm not a Narcissist.
Genetic predisposition & lack of control = nothing can be done!!! ... wow 1 in 6 .... shit !!! I’m staying single forever !!!
😆👏👏👏
Just be aware of red flags and bolt !!
Yes, scary and sad ..isn't it? 😟
😂 yeah that statistic shocked me too!
That explains a lot to me right there.
I'm sorry you had to cope alone and then be labelled as if your more of a problem. I hope deep down hg tudor you can believe that you were always important and can't thank you enough for giving me the information to help understand why it is this way for alot of people. Thank you😉
So informative. I wish children had better guarantees of the solid nurturing they deserve.
Intriguing.....
You are the ying to my yang in terms of coping. I had the loss of control too in formative years. I feel VERY uncomfortable with regard to lack of control, especially if the circumstances result in embarrassment and apparently, for you, it sounds utterly unthinkable. One difference is that I risk vulnerability to take contol. It feels empowering and brave. If I own my vulnerability and let go of the fear of losing control, it is harder for enemies to weaponize weakness against me. I am not saying I never falter, but I have worked to not fear vulnerability, for most of my life really. Very interesting....
Painful to listen, but so true. My “feelings” remember those early days with my family, father was an overt, oh Lord! I made it, and at this point in my life I can tell those unfortunate souls. Listening to your lectures helps so much. I am learning how to “shed” (hopefully) those painful memories. Thank you.
My mother was a covert narcissist. She was never abused. I knew her whole family, so I have good evidence she was never in an unsafe environment. BTW neglect is a form of child abuse.
Please do a video on how narcissism forms in the cases where abuse is absent.
My father is a narcissist and so is my sister. He was not raised in an abusive home. He did not raise us, he took off when we were very small children. She is an absolute horror of a human being. She has destroyed more lives than I count. I went no contact close to a decade ago and do not regret my decision. Of course, she waged a war over it, and still tries to light fires whenever the mood hits her. However, I simply ignore it and keep on with my life. Drives her absolutely insane. She has told some outrageous lies about me, my children, my parents, and my sisters all hoping to get a response and I will not play along. It's fascinating to me how the mind works and I'm curious to know if narcissists are born, raised, a combination of that. None of my children, my sister's children or her children are narcissistic in any way.
Agreed. Would love to know the answer to this as well HG 👌🏽
My ex is a covert narcissist. He was not abused, or neglected (in the traditional sense). However he was coddled. His caregivers were afraid to hold him accountable for anything due to their own unprocessed trauma. I view this as a form of neglect, because they were not in tune with his developmental needs, only with their own misplaced fear and shame which drove them to not see him fully.
They thought he was so brilliant, they helped him graduate high school two years early and move right on to college. After that he started to rebel. He started going out when he wanted, as late as he wanted, doing what he wanted. His father began to worry about his grades and asked to see them. My ex responded by pushing his father into a bookcase, causing his head to bleed. His father was horrified- everyone was like "How did this happen? Where did our boy go?"
I was raised by two alcoholic narcissists. I was enmeshed with my father. I was probably on my way to being a narcissist myself, but instead veered off and became a codependent. When my ex met me, I was both desperate to be seen and valued and conditioned to respond to vulnerable narcissist tactics by giving in to whatever they wanted out of guilt and obligation.
My ex abused me in every way for 12+ years. I didn't even realize I was being abused for the first six years.
Anyway, perhaps your mother was coddled. Perhaps it felt suffocating to her. Perhaps she was enmeshed with a codependent parent. Unless you understand how unprocessed trauma can cause codependent/empathic people to be toxic and neglectful to others as well, you cannot understand how your mother was still abused/neglected.
I could not see other people for their real selves for most of my life. I was wrapped up in my own insecurities and shame, I just didn't take it out on other people the way a narcissist might. Still, it left a void in me that I have been working very hard to fill for myself. I must put myself first, I actually need to learn to have a small degree of healthy narcissism, to know where I end and other people exist. Otherwise I become nothing but fuel for narcissists around me, and a vulnerability and burden to those who aren't.
The fact that they think they have control over anything is sooo funny
Seriously! 🤣😂🤣.
That's why it is a personality disorder. It is disfunctional and harmful and false. It is a wound in the psyche, it is sad because it happened to an innocent child and it can't be fixed anymore.
It’s sad for those who are the primary source. Those who are children of narcs. Spouses as well.
You're joking yeah?
😢
This is insightful.. I’ve realised that I’m probably a narcissist.. I really don’t like my traits, but listening to this video- it makes sense.. I’ve probably made my children narcissists too… my mother is definitely one.. my father was a nice person, that I didn’t see often due to work
I've said it before and I'll say it again. You simply the best Sir Tudor.
I see HUMILIATION as a common denominator of all abuse. Humiliation and betrayal. Humiliation therefore feelings of unworthiness therefore destructive rage with no chance of relief. Ever.
Wow you read my life. I'm not sure if being an empath is any better than being a narcissist. I do appreciate your prepectives. My narcissistic traits have lessoned with age as well as my empathic ones after dealing with several narcissists. This video in particular puts a period on so many aspects of my life and relationships. I wish that I'd learned emotional intelligence decades ago. Well better late than never. Thanks.
Thanks HG. The way you explain it makes it easy to understand. Having a better understanding of it means I’ll be less likely to be triggered into anger. It’s not a guarantee that I won’t be brought to a reaction but it sure does give me a feeling that I’ll have more patience.
What about people that had great families and still turned into a Narcissist? I've seen loving families where they're child is a evil nightmare.
When I distanced myself from the ex narc it was my coping mechanism, when I told him more than once how disappointing he is, I was causing him to fade. That's what I learned with the video.
'Lack of controlled environment' now makes sense to me. I had some issues as a teen and a psychologist said the reason I acted in the way I did was for control. She explained the things in my past that likely caused me to act out (I didn't tell her everything). Narcissists just cope differently to others dealing with a lack of controlled environment.... I feel like I can relate more now.
"Crying"... the way he says it sounds like he really loaths the thing 😂.
Welp, I found the right video. It was a bit like finding a needle in a haystack, but I now know how I raised a narcissist. After it was too late I knew something was wrong with the father I had chosen for him, but just as I'd chosen to reject my mother's frequently abusive childrearing tendencies, and then later on she was a STELLAR grandmother, I thought he could use me as an example of how TO be, and his father of how NOT to be, but I gave him all of the necessary ingredients to end up a narcissist, and for my own financial and possibly my literal survival I had to excise him from my life a couple of years ago when he turned thirty. Getting rid of cancer was easier. Thank you, Mr. Tudor.
I’m learning from you . I always knew that I can get a phone call at 3 am and life’s on a different track. So don’t worry about it . I’m now realising my being easy going is pos not always good.
Brilliant! Always wondered what happened to bring this about. He told me he remembered his mom telling him to quit whining that he was bothering her. Like he was wanting to be picked up, fed, whatever from a crib. She was busy reading a book. They gave him everything he wanted, Harley Davidson motorcycle, new cars every few years, whatever instead of affection. He ran away from home at age 12, because he was given everything as the golden child. This man was physically gorgeous. Looked quite like Robert Redford in The Sting days. Mom was 16 when she had him, just a child herself.
I know she's said the same thing to me about not bothering her since I have been around her for 20 years. It hurts. Emotionally. She's a covert, dad is empathic, sister, all aunts, the nephews and nieces in this family are all one type or another of narc. It's so fascinating to get to figure them all out now.
HG Tudor, esq and mentor, groover and philosopher ,analyst and expert, you have my respect and gratitude 🙏, for the brilliant work you share, thankyou.
Dear HG,
This video is extremely interesting. Offering insight into the psyche and the forming/making of a narcissist. Genetic predisposition and lack of control (environmental circumstances). Again, very informative. Thank you for sharing. Food for thought, yes.
My ex’s daughter self harmed while he was abusing her mother verbally ... maybe like he did me with threats of physical abuse as-well .... I didn’t eat when it was bad here my eldest son left & my youngest just stayed in his room after 5 years of abuse we are going no contact with him ... we are starting to heal ... my little boy is improving every day as am I x.
🙏
Excellent video! HG. I love the way you explain everything in detail! i m learning a lot! Best teacher!!
Thank you, thank you!
You have self awareness. You are very intelligent. This tells me you know what your doing and could change if you wanted to . If it is a coping mechanism. You can change . So why would you still continue to prey on women . I came from a highly abusive family with drug addiction. So you just have no feelings or care for others ?? No empathy at all ? If you can’t feel it you are still intelligent enough to know how much you hurt others . Shouldn’t that be enough to change behavior. Emotions aside ? So you have never experienced feelings or love or compassion for others ? My mother was a narcissistic. I was abused in every way . It made me more compassionate. I am no better than you as having to much compassion for others is also torment .My stepfather was a monster and I was taken out of the home by child protective services . Became a adult at 16 living on my own . I don’t understand it is a choice isn’t it ? To care for others . Knowing right or wrong . So you have no moral compass ?
No they can’t they can put on a facade once they learn the errors in there ways.
I'm beginning to understand, my behaviours as a child, adolescent and as adult. It is an overwhelming thing
This makes so much sense to me . Thanks again for your wisdom.
HG your wisdom 🎯 I always believed that we as people was supposed to be taught , to government over ourselves.
The last narcissist (out of a lifelong row) looks 20 years older than he really is).
All this stress of losing control.
Now, this time, "no contact" will be really fun. 😆 You do everything by doing nothing.
I'm getting laaarge amounts of thought fuel .
Thank you.
I'm not certain but my ex narc always needed a realationship it was like she couldn't be alone. When we broke up she got into new relationships quickly and she also love bombed them to and if he or she didn't give her attention in the love bombing she took it as criticism and became irritated. I remember when she smiled at me when I was crying one time and I could tell she enjoyed it.
How do you know so much about her new relationships?
@@dishonest-corset4942 she told me
When my ex exploded on me for the first time I was in so much shock I couldn't believe this side of him! I wanted to leave but he quickly took control of the situation and wouldn't let me and calmed down because he needed a ride from me and then jokingly asked me if I wanted to fight. Then when I got home, I let it all out and cried in secrecy. He asked me later if I he had made me cry and I didn't give him the satisfaction of letting him know he did because something inside told me that that was exactly what he was looking for. This was just the beginning of his torment.
My coping medicine was slapping myself in the face while witnessing violent acts of rage, and your kind made me look like the crazy 1!
Gosh ! I truly think it can go either way...A narcicist or an empath....
Like a 'see saw' that leans one way or the other...
@pinkandlavender 👏👏👏
💯
Yes Ultra. I agree with everything. Accept. Now it's not one in 6. We are finding out it's 6 in 10. Now are user's of Narcissism. The upper mid ranger is completely aware . And we'll of course the upper and the Ultra. Fabolous. Thank you.
Narcissism is a real pandemic.
My ex's mother was a horrible drug addicted malignant narcissist and he grew up in a out of control environment where he was abused and neglected at home and in the foster care system.
Because the development occurred during the formative years, I believe therapy can help to modify behavior but is not curative.
It's a fact of life one can't control everything...and I say this with visceral pain, because I thrive in order and discipline. But, reality is full of land mines.
Bad part I believe HG's opinion over doctor's.
I wanted this information. I'm sorry if they had negative experiences but I did not do it. I will not pick up the tab for their experiences.
What a gift you continually give. Thank you for all of the video's you have shared!
How narcissist react if she/he sees that we are with new partner and totally ignore the narcissist. What goes in their mind and how they react ? Can you make video on this topic .
I did a small experiment and sent this to 7 suspected narcissist in my circle looking for how they respond. This will be interesting. I'm expecting them to brush it off as, "Ohh well."
Have you heard back from any of the suspected mars? Curious as to their reaction, if any.
I love whoever does your graphics.
Thank you. I select the images and I have a talented graphic designer who sprinkles some magic on top.
Ha ha. No he does not know my true identity. He knows me as HG Tudor, our collaboration is online only.
Hold up... A Narcissist giving someone else credit?
Only since it suits me to do so. You do realise that we use benign AND malign manipulations.
@@hgtudor-theultra
Do the images belong to you or are they the graphic designers?
Thank you. Watching and Listening from Alaska.
Amazing vid 😊 put in such a way you cannot not understand narcissism. If only for one day, it would be good for you to see the other side and FEEL what life would have been like otherwise.
Thankyou for this vid HG.
You are the most accurate I have ever listened too!!!!!
Chilling!!!….this made me realize many things….my sister is a narcissist, I knew that already, and I went in no contact with her for past four years, but listening to this….our mom is most likely one as well and that I can’t cope with at the moment….I feel like I lost something and I want to cry…..thank you anyway….although I feel like I do not want that to be the truth, the signs are there!…how did I not noticed…..God I hope I am just overthinking and misreading and wrong….
Some aspects of what you have described bears remarkable similarities to borderline personality disorder or to a lesser extent, borderline traits. I’ve been binge watching some of your videos here at 5 AM in the morning in the more I listen to what you have to say the more it seems as though the unhealthy traits and character disorders overlap so much with one another from antisocial personality disorder, to NPD, to borderline, to histrionic and so. And, then there is the proverbial empath. The empath who can turn cold and revengeful as a defense fragment comes out and interacts with people subconsciously or unconsciously and retreats when the threat of lack of control is over. It’s as if you have a wheel, in the center hub is a person and the spokes are various personality traits or disorders on a scale. Person 1: Dial up the narcissism to an eight, dial up the borderline to a four, dial up the factor one psychopathy to a five, histrionic at zero. Person 2: dial up the schizoid to an eight. Dial up the narcissism to a seven. Dial up the avoidant personality disorder to a seven. No other traits presenting. As if those present are not enough LoL.
That all said, these maladaptive coping mechanisms to childhood trauma and attachment traumas, which may even create PTSD, or CPTSD, should be required teaching for young adults in high school. This along with what healthy functioning relationships look like and how to set boundaries with people and stick up for yourself. And most of all, to learn to be OK when people are not OK with you. Self-love. Self-esteem. Don’t leave home without it.
That was brilliant HG.
Thank you. One might say Ultra Brilliant.
Always ULTRA EXTRA BRILLIANT! 🖤
Thank you for helping me understand me
I have a situation with a narcissistic control freak that is a blood family member. There is nothing to be done about it, except to try to avoid being murdered when he goes to Crazy Town. He just continues to get worse, & listening to you I realize just how hopeless it is. It is like being a perpetual hostage.
Im surrounded with 5 narcissists siblings as a middle child, growing up they cant manipulate me,let alone i never support them. Physically im tall, the slender, the most beautiful sister with beautiful legs and they are so jealous and envious of me. And i fight back and they cant bully me because they fear my fury. I lived very far away where they cant reached me. They tried to reach out BUT i never responded . I blocked them and i use aliases and no real pic profile in my socmed. Am happy and dont miss them mentals.
Thank you for this clinically precise interpretation. I am pleasantly surprised by the direction you moved into.
This is on POINT! thank you
Listening to this talk I can see I created a narcissistic son, who is now in his 40s! Pity I didn't know all this 40 years ago, my life would have been much easier.
Maybe it's because I have a teenage son myself...but hearing everything that you've just said about what causes someone to become a narcissist....it has me feeling pretty sad for everything that they've gone through. I had a pretty out of control childhood once my dad died and it's made me somewhat controlling (but not a narcissist...as far as I know anyway!)
You solved two issues. First in talking about children it now helps me with my clients which are children primarily teenagers and parents. Second of all most important USoft my childhood I was adopted I heard once that my mother was probably diagnosed with Munchausen syndrome and if I had up my childhood from one year to 17 Bullseye you got me
Genetic deposition means I want to stay the hell away from people. Seems like I tend to attract them.
Great video. It explains alot of things. My Dad was a Naval Officer/Recon pilot. We alway's had to run a tight ship at Home.
I grew up in a home with a lack of control ,abuse .i was sexually molested , i suffured child abuse and more. I didn't turn out to be a narcissist teacher. God's grace and mercy is the most powerful on ,above and blow the earth, that includes in and out of the spirit realm. 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥😡😡😡😡🔥😡😡😡 Teacher God the father gives us the keys of victory over your kind
the enemy. God is not a man that shall lie teacher. I assure you.# your number one student "the super nova empath.".😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤
I was abused growing up. My husband had a great life besides his brother dying when he was 14. He has NPD & I’m an empath.
I always always wonder why he ended up this way. We grew up together & I rem his dad being so crazy about his mom & then he just left her one day. I see where he gets it
(Also all his siblings all hate his mom & are obsessed w their dad... guess he’s a good manipulator too)
Cain (murderer) & Abel. “ Predisposition” = Canaanite blood line. Eve’s forbidden fruit = sex with the serpent Satan= Offspring Cain. Free will = ability to CHOOSE good vs evil. Siblings of narc mother: one becomes narc & one does not. Same bloodline, different choices. One is lost & the other is able to recover, integrate, become healthy. Choose wisely🍃🌷 Peace & Love ...Thank you HG
Powerful. Wow.
Thanks for mentioning this video today. Been looking for this.
I know a few narcs that hide behind the church religious type very deceiving but isn't it all
Narcissists can also be formed by putting them on a pedestal idolizing but I truly feel bad for the victims of abuse my ex narc was spoiled rotten golden child creating the Peter pan guy he is today
My creature was a golden haired boy, and his mother laid out his clothes, told when to eat, when to go to the toilet, when to go to bed, when to brush his teeth.
Now I know why he was, what became.
A narcissist creature.
And after 20 years apart I have no emotion about him.
But still I'd like to know why he ran out of the door that night when I had finished the relationship, after that argument when I got up off the floor????.
We where together for 11 year's.
I've learnt all his life lessons, and am happy within myself.
Best explanation YET!
Absolutely brilliant. I wonder how would the lesser or mid ranger react to this video?
. This is such good priceless information !!! Admittedly, it pulled at my heart strings. Darn emotional thinking!! It sickens me that anyone could hurt another human especially a child to the extent that the child has to develop such a coping mechanism as narcissism. Hurt people hurt people. So… here we are being weaponized by the Ultra.
U R TEACHING!! WOW! U R THE ULTRA!! Thank U! ☮️♥️😀
My Father got dental insurance for me. My mother let me go one time to take casts to get braces. Never took me to the dentist again. I spent my entire adult life fixing the damage. It is sick what the malignant does to their kids.
Great content and appreciate your work!!!
You are welcome. Keep using it.
💯👏👏👏
Befor this begins, I really feel I have become this way, taught..
Wow! Some of the most insightful information I’ve heard on the “why?” I’m curious & have always suspected “empaths” really being not that much different then the narcissist. It seems they both are born out of a loss of control & you either end up a “control freak” (narcissist) or a “martyr” (empath). Both are a survival adaptation & both require manipulation & assuming an identity of a “false-self.” The only real difference that I can see is one is perceived as being the “good guy” & the other the “bad guy.” Could it be both have good qualities & bad? Could it be both types need to integrate the trauma & wounding from the past to find balance & authenticity? Thank You!
Plenty of empaths are narcissistic especially covert narcissist. Some are borderlines Who have a great capacity to feel the emotions of others and the energy of others. Almost in an uncanny way. I’m sure I’m going to upset some of the empath reading this but based on my own experience of observing people in my own family for decades and people in the same workplace for decades it does on further inspection appear to be any way that many empath have narcissistic traits underneath the empath umbrella.
@@LinYouToo having narcissistic traits does not make one a narcissist.
An empath will not destroy your life like a narc
Sure it can be argued they're not always as sensitive or considerate as they seem. But a narc can literally put you in a psych ward with their antics with zero remorse
I'd hesitate in saying they're two sides of the same coin
Children are the most beautiful gifts on earth. Knowing that children become narcissists due to such cruel mental and physical abuse is so satanic, it makes me sick to my stomach.
Excellent video HG! I had the seed and the LOCE yet became an empath. I’m looking forward to the upcoming video regarding this scenario.
You must not have inherited the seed.
a child with the seed within a LOCE is different. Their narcissistic traits will be more obvious than the rest of the kids in the family. They are usually a bully.
2 of my sisters displayed more narcissistic traits as children than the rest of us. One I suspect is a narcissist, she was the most narcissistic.
The other a normal with stronger narcissistic traits than the empaths but she can be reasoned with, her narcissistic traits are not out of control.
But both were more manipulative as children than the rest of us.