Love Yourself: Here’s How - or, The Four Pillars of Self-love

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 211

  • @amypie11
    @amypie11 4 ปีที่แล้ว +423

    Your insight is astounding. Finally a logical explanaition of self love that doesnt involve a bubble bath and lighting a candle.

    • @spro0077
      @spro0077 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      🤣

    • @KN-os1pv
      @KN-os1pv 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      I'm laughing too! :D

    • @natalijaslaidina7028
      @natalijaslaidina7028 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      😅

    • @YJ-et6xu
      @YJ-et6xu ปีที่แล้ว +5

      😂

    • @rabbit3212010
      @rabbit3212010 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      😂😂 This is my first time here. I haven't even listened to the upload yet but, from your comment, I already know it's for me!

  • @JesusChristIsKingIsGod
    @JesusChristIsKingIsGod 4 ปีที่แล้ว +470

    Self love; 3 tests
    1. See yourself as you are
    2. Need to pursue your
    happiness
    3. Pursue favorable outcomes
    4 conditions for self love
    1. Self-awareness
    A.Intimacy with self
    B.Detailed
    C.Compassionate
    2. Self-acceptance
    A. Unconditional
    B. Embrace core identity
    3. Self-trust, that you are pursuing your best interest
    4. Self-efficacy, that you are capable of setting goals and accomplishing them

    • @CocoMac
      @CocoMac 3 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      Thank you for delineating these so nicely.

    • @VigiliusHaufniensis
      @VigiliusHaufniensis 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Thanks a lot

    • @lifepsycleofficial24
      @lifepsycleofficial24 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Thanks a lot for this!

    • @hope-lu9rj
      @hope-lu9rj 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      thank you 🌟🌟🌟🌟

    • @angelakh4147
      @angelakh4147 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Thank you. I looked at your outline as I listened. It helped!

  • @pallysupatra
    @pallysupatra 2 ปีที่แล้ว +84

    I put this on my BOOKMARK that I will be listening to this every day after I just came out from a narcissistic relationship. I need to hug and trust my own rock. Thank you Prof. Sam

  • @Serbiasestra
    @Serbiasestra 3 ปีที่แล้ว +143

    It is really refreshing to hear Sam talking affirmative on positive matters, not only darkness of pathology.

    • @clarencegibbons6599
      @clarencegibbons6599 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you for outlining the talking points of the lecture.

  • @davidhatle5486
    @davidhatle5486 4 ปีที่แล้ว +97

    I hope 7 billion people will hear this

  • @brittneysmith1695
    @brittneysmith1695 4 ปีที่แล้ว +122

    Please make more videos like this!

  • @amyjohndro5746
    @amyjohndro5746 2 ปีที่แล้ว +55

    Thank you, as I sit here at what feels like my lowest point (I am diagnosed BPD) and was just discarded by my partner of 4 yrs. 4 days ago,I’m trying not to wallow In the rage I’m feeling. I know self love is important and in a moment of clarity I can see it’s my only way out of this. Thank you for not telling me to journal, take a walk, or find a hobby, but to dive deep into my own self awareness and take a stand to save my life literally.

    • @amyjohndro5746
      @amyjohndro5746 2 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      @@vixenxiiiv it’s been a couple weeks now, highs and lows and a couple attempted Hoovers. I haven’t folded, I got 2 DBT workbooks and have delved into them. I have been in therapy for a while so it’s a refresher because this triggered a lot of things I thought I had healed already. I’m proud that I haven’t spiraled completely, and that I haven’t attempted retaliation. I’ve been quiet and gone within, so that’s a start I guess.

    • @adamat4082
      @adamat4082 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hey, how's it going? Hope you're doing better @@amyjohndro5746

  • @RRP9860
    @RRP9860 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    People are extremely quick to remark, "just focus on your own happiness". The remark by itself means nothing, in this recording you actually explained to people HOW to do that. Much respect.

  • @quantised1703
    @quantised1703 3 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    Once you reach the core identity, you have to embrace it. This core is strong, reliable and will not be affected by anything that's happening. You're gonna cling to it, like you cling to a rock in a stormy sea to not sink. Everything else is a storm, you need to embrace and cling to your rock to live 🙌🏼

  • @rachangel1951
    @rachangel1951 4 ปีที่แล้ว +77

    Thank you so much for another life changing message, Mr Vaknin. You are saving lives.

  • @mariaalforque6430
    @mariaalforque6430 4 ปีที่แล้ว +87

    This lecture should be teached in this world rather than teaching religion.

    • @evaweiss132
      @evaweiss132 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Thank you for sharing your insight and deeply felt knowledge of the human condition.

    • @mariaalforque6430
      @mariaalforque6430 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@evaweiss132 You're welcome. I had this big question for such a long time. Why we've been studying about God so much and yet we barely know about ourselves.

    • @iamk5686
      @iamk5686 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@mariaalforque6430 this is basically the premise of eastern philosophy and spirituality

  • @elmtree33
    @elmtree33 4 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    Who else here has done so much therapy/work on yourselves, thought you were near to fully healing childhood traumas, listened to this, and realized you still have so much more to go? 😭

  • @milosander5249
    @milosander5249 4 ปีที่แล้ว +59

    Seriously brilliant and well articulated. 🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆

  • @drkknath
    @drkknath ปีที่แล้ว +12

    This is the most valuable message I got in internet till date. Heathy self love is the basis of all interaction we have in the universe. 🙏

  • @benngatier1058
    @benngatier1058 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Sam this is the most important 30 minute video I have watched on YT. I have come out of a marriage with a cluster B personality and to listen to these wise words which reassure my core is intact and I just need to engage fully with myself again.

  • @alessandrajouberteix4663
    @alessandrajouberteix4663 4 ปีที่แล้ว +107

    Thank you. I experienced many of these unhealthy traits most of my life. After 12 years of inner work I am beginning to love myself. Thank you for your explanations. This particular one touches a bit on gender dysmorphia. I have a 17 year old daughter that told me she hates her body and she “feels” she is a man. Of course there was plenty of toxicity all her life: narcissistic father, codependent narcissistic mother. It is so painful for me to look back and see how much psychological damage I caused on my children. I pray they forgive me for all the toxicity I brought them to.

    • @jastity8646
      @jastity8646 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      I’m sorry for what you’ve been through. But this gender dysmorphia might have happened anyway. You’ve got a son, help him.

    • @jastity8646
      @jastity8646 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Kristin D Why yikes?

    • @alessandrajouberteix4663
      @alessandrajouberteix4663 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@gaynorbishop9749 thank you for your kind words

  • @tashacook2451
    @tashacook2451 4 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    I TRUST MYSELF NOW. I ACCEPT MYSELF, NOW. THANK YOU MR. VAKNIN DEAR SIR.

    • @tashacook2451
      @tashacook2451 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I AM INDEPENDENT. I CAN POLICE MYSELF.

  • @kyliereef7664
    @kyliereef7664 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    I was so dumb before this video.
    Loosing core identity.
    Growing up in embellishment.
    You just changed my life.
    ‼‼💗😄
    Thankyou Sir

  • @GJS-live
    @GJS-live 4 ปีที่แล้ว +65

    Superb stuff Sam, thanks. So few of us realise that without a good, nurturing relationship with our 'selves' - our relationships with others will always be challenging, disappointing and fragile.

  • @tashacook2451
    @tashacook2451 4 ปีที่แล้ว +82

    I LOVE MYSELF, I FORGIVE MYSELF. AMEN. THANKS MR. VAKNIN DEAR SIR. SHALOM TO YOU

  • @jena7456
    @jena7456 3 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    Wow! This is such a wealth of information and so important . This would have been so much better than any counseling I have received beginning in my early twenties ! Now at 49 yrs old I am finally healing from childhood traumas and divorcing a toxic narcissistic attorney - I had great relationships that came to me in my earlier years and yet I sabotaged them. I realize that now - so maybe just maybe there is 1 more great relationship in my future !

  • @jacqielee2744
    @jacqielee2744 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    Wow, that part where you tied together the external locus of control, feeling like you have no say in the outcomes of your own life, and how then, your attention and energy is directed outwardly really was eye opening, and extremely helpful for me on my journey out of the role of being a narcissists ideal victim. I'm no longer a slave, but I have a lot of things to learn still.

  • @TheAnettitta
    @TheAnettitta 4 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    Amazing lecture. Your knowledge and wisdom is life-changing for many! 🙏

  • @sakshichopra645
    @sakshichopra645 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    This is the best self help advice I've had in a long long while. Thank you Dr Vaknin for this gem.

  • @liza5026
    @liza5026 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    Dear Sam, you give me SO much wisdom and Light, after recoverring from narcistic abuse.
    Thank you SO much

  • @sandrameander69
    @sandrameander69 4 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    Thank you so much for this talk. This went right to my core. It made me realize things about myself that I have been struggling with, and made me feel not so alone. I will need to listen to this video more from time to time to really learn the valuable lessons. This was brilliant!

  • @nothingnew765
    @nothingnew765 4 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    Well put Sam! A comprehensive look at positive/true self-love, was great listening!

  • @Giyuo
    @Giyuo 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    I feel one can be critical of themselves but compassionate at the same time. Seeing full well how we can be an idiot, corrupt, insane, but embracing that fact instead of shunning it. So that when we fail it is seen as a learning process instead of defeat.

  • @CandyLove0722
    @CandyLove0722 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    i always thought self love is just taking a break when you are tired of this and that. I now completely understand in my inmost what self love really means.. thank you

  • @Cobyin17
    @Cobyin17 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Im going to love myself by now. With all my flaws and good sides. Thank you so much

  • @dhawkins78412
    @dhawkins78412 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Self love and self acceptance are my biggest challenges. Accepting the good and bad without conditinal love. Thank you!

  • @abovetheroses-3799
    @abovetheroses-3799 4 ปีที่แล้ว +237

    This is much better than wallowing in understanding/overthinking/self-doubting/analysis-paralysis. Thank you.

    • @briggsjaxon8059
      @briggsjaxon8059 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      you prolly dont care at all but does anyone know a method to get back into an instagram account??
      I was stupid lost my login password. I love any tips you can offer me

    • @marcoroy5209
      @marcoroy5209 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Briggs Jaxon instablaster ;)

    • @AnimosityIncarnate
      @AnimosityIncarnate ปีที่แล้ว +1

      True 😂

  • @hasnasoliman6722
    @hasnasoliman6722 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Genius talk. To the point and very helpful. He actually summarized my issues completely. How destructive conditional love and overly citicizm and rejection in childhood and relationships can be. I wish everyone would learn this at school. We live in an emotionally illiterate world.

  • @dande_lion
    @dande_lion 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Wow, this is superb! Never heard all of that together in such a clear way.

  • @believer9258
    @believer9258 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    This is amaizing im actually glad there is something known as healthy narcissism. Thankyou professor

  • @shashwat1006
    @shashwat1006 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Goals should be-
    1) Rational
    2) Realistic
    3) Beneficial

    • @thendebele
      @thendebele ปีที่แล้ว +1

      But the SMART model they teach you in MBA. Terrible 😂😂😂

  • @oluwaseeniolabode-odebunmi6864
    @oluwaseeniolabode-odebunmi6864 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    First time I saw this, I was so depressed, wasn’t sure what I was doing and was devastated that I might have NPD. This video has been part of my journey, and now I feel a lot better actually. It works.

  • @katherinew2189
    @katherinew2189 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    That was an extremely helpful talk Thank you. . Have all those internal self critical voices and will continue to work on it. Can’t change my experiences, mistakes, failures or that I have PTSD however, I can change how i view my life and learn to accept myself.

  • @crackmassage
    @crackmassage 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Once again Mr Vaknin provides a very clear explanation without resort to mystical concepts. In this video he takes on how many of us have been thwarted, from our very childhood, from achieving even some of the basic elements of happiness. What he's calling self-love here is actually the basic formation for healthy functioning in life. He explains how to attain this ourselves in a measured step-wise manner, demystifying the language of the psychological concepts in clear English immediately, in each case . Thank you once again, sir.

  • @janicegeorge-allen1924
    @janicegeorge-allen1924 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Thank you Sam Vaknin.

  • @gracetrindade6335
    @gracetrindade6335 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you a million for this clear and direct explanation of this problem.

  • @Hotlips313
    @Hotlips313 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Thank you again Professor Sam Vaknin yet again another masterpiece of a video from you. You are the best I've come across in helping me with my way forward in healing and finding myself again to get on the journey to love myself again. Plus realizing i was part of the problem and I take responsibility in that in wanting to be in the fantasy that was sadly sold to me with my Ex narcissist.

  • @PookaFey11
    @PookaFey11 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you, Mr. Vaknin.

  • @irislind5313
    @irislind5313 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Very clear and helpfull. My father told me I was stupid and difficult and I sufferd from that all my live.

  • @matthewgardner1712
    @matthewgardner1712 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Sam is so right: Why love someone who doesn't love him/herself ...(?) Learned the answer the hard way.

    • @GalickGon
      @GalickGon 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I have to disagree only because I do think love should be unconditional. Shouldn’t be under the condition they love themselves either. But his point does still stand

    • @matthewgardner1712
      @matthewgardner1712 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@GalickGon I think you misinterpret the idea of unconditional love here: for me unconditional love refers to the dyade, and thus the loved one has not to love back. But if they do not love themselves, that's a general condition, beyond the dyadic love. In this respect, your point of view on unconditional love seems to be easily compatible with Sam's point about the self-love of the other person. eg: I can love a tree unconditionally. But I should not expect to be loved back by this tree, because the general conditions for being loved back are simply not given with a tree. Nonetheless, there speaks nothing against unconditional love from my side. ;-) What do you think of this?

  • @somethingsomething2541
    @somethingsomething2541 21 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Part 1
    Be aware of yourself in every way you can be, basically be honest with yourself, dont distance yourself from yourself, and just like how if aomeone opened upto u, u would be compassionate, try to be compassionate yo yourself too.

  • @shashwat1006
    @shashwat1006 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Very true. Many people act in a self sabotaging and self destructive ways.

  • @sucheta8619
    @sucheta8619 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thanks, it is so useful in understanding the real meaning of self-love it's not limited to telling you how awesome, you are but includes lots of groundwork which might take months or years to complete

  • @keeganmcintosh7353
    @keeganmcintosh7353 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Thank you Sam

  • @janejeffery2615
    @janejeffery2615 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    oh and i love to listen and write down notes ,,,, this one is awesome going to add it to my self care agenda during this great opportunity of isolating into oneself love love love thyself be true

  • @acasyd
    @acasyd ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thankyou, Professor Vaknin, for sharing your wise words. Excited to practice being the hugged and the hugger 😊

  • @Nandaksilva
    @Nandaksilva 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Thank you so much for sharing this knowledge! I’m glad to be sure now watching this video that I’m in the right way on my recovery from childhood trauma and abuse. An year ago I started self therapy, it has changed my life so much! I can notice most of these things that you related to self love as being part of my healthy self.

    • @justamama5167
      @justamama5167 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Will you please share some details about how you are doing your self therapy. Can't afford therapy and I am in bad need for it. Currently I am going through a divorce with a personality disorder man. Thank you.

  • @gracetrindade6335
    @gracetrindade6335 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Looking back I see that after all life works exactly for our own good.You nail that in my case.Thanks Sam....

  • @Ganaremoslosbuenos
    @Ganaremoslosbuenos 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    You just put me in the way of truly healing. Thank you profesor Sam.

  • @Starlightndust
    @Starlightndust ปีที่แล้ว

    Yes, i used loveyself only if i achieved or worked for something. I used to be a "human doing" and not a "human being". Now I'm learning Self Love is unconditional.

  • @millicentfullwood2733
    @millicentfullwood2733 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank so much Prof Sam…this has been a mind blowing and extremely helpful detailed teaching and very grateful for sharing with us such valuable professional knowledge and guidance!!!🙏❤️🥰

  • @jeannew4957
    @jeannew4957 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Hi Dr. I work as a therapist in a male prison with the severely mentally ill. Im constantly blocking to keep from being compromised plus I'm constantly scrutinized and threatened. In this, I lost myself and almost my core self to survive this toxic environment. Im fighting to get that back. Your videos are helping me get back to myself. I know I need to leave this environment. Do you do consultations? Thank you.

  • @marlenr8691
    @marlenr8691 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Thank you, Sam! Very useful 🙏🏻

  • @snezanajuricevic1000
    @snezanajuricevic1000 ปีที่แล้ว

    Most important lessons and video for helty and fruitful life, thank you Dr. Vaknin, so much, God bless you 🙏 ❤❤❤❤

  • @candacesmith4832
    @candacesmith4832 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Thank you!! This really helped me.

  • @juliannawood4088
    @juliannawood4088 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This is absolutely fantastic!! Thanks Sam, I really needed to hear this..
    I've saved it to listen to again and to share with others..💖👌

  • @lizameila7090
    @lizameila7090 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 thank you!

  • @cveta4
    @cveta4 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Fantastic explanations. Finaly a solid definition

  • @user-vi3sz3fg2r
    @user-vi3sz3fg2r 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Sam, you are the best. Thank you.

  • @inpursuitofhappiness9441
    @inpursuitofhappiness9441 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Thank you for this! Your most impactful lecture/teaching yet.
    I've shared this video widely and I come back to it a lot. These four pillars of self love have become part of my daily Intent and Goal State statement/mantra. Thank you! :-)

  • @SKW-12
    @SKW-12 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Thank you, Professor. Of all your videos I've listened to so far, this is my favorite.

  • @clarabel868
    @clarabel868 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you Sam. That was very deep and moving and it is something I may need to listen to on a regular basis. Really gets to the core of everything.

  • @geraldinecurry755
    @geraldinecurry755 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you so much for this informative video. Holding the mirror up to yourself. Oh theres a big one. And then accepting what you are. This is such important work. God bless sam. 🤗

  • @nasheeheed4756
    @nasheeheed4756 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you for sharing your knowledge. This information is so powerful and touched my core.

  • @kimalexander8276
    @kimalexander8276 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank You Sam.

  • @redsunflower5328
    @redsunflower5328 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    this is excellent. very much what I'm learning on my current path. Thank you so much. I will listen to this several times. I see how living with a critical mom has kept me from trusting my self and being what I've called "other-ated"..... something I dearly want to move on from.

  • @serendipityjayne6162
    @serendipityjayne6162 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you Sam. This video has helped me so much. I will be putting your advice into action. And look forward to the healthy changes.

  • @candycamus
    @candycamus 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thanks Sam. Great timing much appreciated.

  • @emcee3209
    @emcee3209 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Excellent content, thanks Sam. Deeply profound. Please post more like this.

  • @jodyhing8557
    @jodyhing8557 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Aloha🌺 Thank you so much Prof. Sam! I’m going through the healing discard process 3 weeks now, struggling through the hurt, and this talk about self love helps me so much..Mahalo for Kona, Hawaii🌋 Jody

  • @leahboynton1280
    @leahboynton1280 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This should be taught in every school in the world

    • @elmtree33
      @elmtree33 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Should be a required parenting class

    • @leahboynton1280
      @leahboynton1280 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      elmtree33 Yes!!! Both

  • @KN-os1pv
    @KN-os1pv 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Wow, I'm impressed!

  • @Julie-md3og
    @Julie-md3og ปีที่แล้ว

    The true self, not so much a rock but a hollow bamboo that allows consciousness to flow through when the work is done

  • @lucillegrant8522
    @lucillegrant8522 ปีที่แล้ว

    This is so sooo good! Thank you Dr. Vaknin! 🙏🏾🙏🏾

  • @mariobrandsma9830
    @mariobrandsma9830 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Wish i could ( as a codep) could send This video to my friend , who is borderline , but the became angry me getting prof help . The video about borderline woman on mrt 17th i want to send but every day i stop my self to do it . Sam you HELPED me a lot ! Thanks

  • @dutchblackgirl6247
    @dutchblackgirl6247 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    this video is a bonus ~~ thank u for expaining! Dear Sam Vaknin Tank u !

  • @kristyiivaudais8490
    @kristyiivaudais8490 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I have a question about core identity. Can you break that down more please? What if someone gets to their core but realizes it is not something they want to embrace? or How do you identify your core identity? I understand personality, character, relationships, experiences and life circumstances but what if a person finds that they have no identity? How can we figure that out now or build it now as adults? Is that the re-parenting? Is this possible at 40 years of age? Thank you

  • @jcarlson204
    @jcarlson204 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you! This jolted me awake from a corona virus hypnotic state. So much time to do unfavorable things during this lock down.

  • @liuba8477
    @liuba8477 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank You for this excellent lecture!

  • @dutchblackgirl6247
    @dutchblackgirl6247 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Dear Sam Vaknin, Tank u for the audio!

  • @caupainregina9948
    @caupainregina9948 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Very informative. Thank you so much!

  • @ybellemoine500
    @ybellemoine500 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I can't thank you enough!!! I needed this🙏🙏🙏🙏. I appreciate you more than you KNOW💕

  • @shelleybain705
    @shelleybain705 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Excellent

  • @adrianataffuri8507
    @adrianataffuri8507 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Bravo Sam!! When i learned self love everything changed!!

  • @anasanabria3192
    @anasanabria3192 ปีที่แล้ว

    Amazing words! Thank you! Gracias!

  • @bigrockydennis4216
    @bigrockydennis4216 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    This lecture reminds me of a homeless woman who used to push around a baby stroller with a pumpkin in it. She did that because she had such a low opinion of herself and believed that nobody could ever love her. So she would talk to the pumpkin as though it were a real person. And anytime someone asked her why she did that, her response was always the same. She would say "I'm a stupid, ugly person and I don't deserve for anyone to love me." She would beg for money in the street and use it to buy bottles of "Night Train" which is a horrible bum wine that winos drink. One day she walked into the liquor store to buy a bottle and she unknowingly walked in during the middle of a holdup. The robber shot her and she died instantly. It was a sad ending to a sad life!

    • @AndreaWanting
      @AndreaWanting 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      That poor soul

    • @onikin
      @onikin 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Maybe for her, it was a relieving ending. Saved her from many more years of pain, potentially a slower more painful end.

  • @juliallorente2719
    @juliallorente2719 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I am studying psychology...I wish he could be my mentor.....I just love all his content.

  • @janejeffery2615
    @janejeffery2615 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    very helpful !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!thank you amazed at the non stop brilliance and dedication to your work thank you for the very awesome literacy which helps me unpack these complicated topics and I resonate with so much of it thank you again

  • @gabrielabarsan5168
    @gabrielabarsan5168 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Amazing! Very welcome and very well explained! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

  • @sunnysmile4642
    @sunnysmile4642 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you Sam!!

  • @BigSky000
    @BigSky000 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you. This is it.

  • @chalah775
    @chalah775 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I have never understood the concept of self-love. Strapping myself in for some learnin' -!

    • @chalah775
      @chalah775 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      4 mins in .... ahhh, nuts. 😅 How did I miss this for 30+ years? Explains a lot.
      Thank you, Dr. Vaknin.

    • @timp2315
      @timp2315 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@chalah775 Yeah i felt the same way this let me understand the false / true self. Seem so alien if you have never spend time with the true self. Nuts.

  • @Umbear
    @Umbear ปีที่แล้ว

    So good! Thanks for sharing your intelligence!

  • @barbarachappuis5262
    @barbarachappuis5262 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Superb, what a gift and what a lifetime challenge!

  • @katjahleb2163
    @katjahleb2163 4 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    Prof. Vaknin, the most useful and sensemaking description of self love I have ever come across. (I read a lot on the subject for 35 ys.)
    How can I cite this? Is there anything similar (by you) in writing?
    Thank you very much.

    • @sherryjaouad4656
      @sherryjaouad4656 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Katja Hleb
      If you have to prove this to someone you are already answering your question. I’ve been there and understand .

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      You must refer to the video. There is no full text anywhere, except for a brief summary on my new Instagram instagram.com/narcissismwithvaknin

    • @katjahleb2163
      @katjahleb2163 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@samvaknin
      Thank you Prof. Vaknin.

    • @sugarsnap1000
      @sugarsnap1000 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@samvaknin I think, if you haven’t already, transcribe and elaborate on the pillars and sell as a little book, I would buy and keep in my handbag