To the Women That Don't Want Kids, This is a Safe Space | Let's talk about not wanting kids
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 มิ.ย. 2024
- I apologize for the audio quality! I got too passionate lol!
Let's talk about not wanting kids, living a child-free life, DINKs, and being married with no kids.
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✿ ABOUT HOUSEWARMIN ✿
Welcome to my channel. I'm Mars, a black, 28-year-old, queer, first-time homeowner. My pronouns are she/her and I'm Aries.
I make content for people like me. Young adults just trying to figure out how to live their best life. We know everything you see on social media isn't the full picture. Just because I may seem like I have it all together, couldn't be further from the truth! I want to show the realistic side of homeownership, houseplants, and honest living (on a budget).
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All opinions are my own and I am not a professional. Please complete all projects at your own risk, as I am not responsible for any damages that may occur in connection with the information in this video. Please consult a professional. - แนวปฏิบัติและการใช้ชีวิต
Hi 👋🏽. I’m a black, 44 year old, childfree, divorced, cat mom, preschool teacher. I have never wanted children. Even as a little girl, I never played mommy with my dolls. I played teacher lol. So here we are lol.
I truly enjoy my fairly quiet, peaceful, safe, affordable life. I love being supportive to the families I serve, but I do not want to trade places.
It seems that a lot of people have kids to use them as a retirement plan, to keep a man that doesn’t want them, to fill a void that comes from lack of love, as something to do bc they don’t have hobbies or never developed an identity or to see what a copy of themselves would look like. Most people who choose not to have children see children as an entire human being and addition to the world. These people thought through the state of the world and what a child’s life would be like with the circumstances they have. They’ve made the decision not to bring another being into a situation to suffer. It’s the most selfless and honorable thing a human can do.
Being a mother is the hardest job in the world which is why i wont apply for that job !
If it was a job there would be a school education for it.
@@CordeliaWagner1999
So all the jobs that don’t require college must not exist XD
I’m 26 and have never been excited about having kids. Even when I got dolls as a kid, I was excited about the clothes they wore and not the actual doll. I looked up to the women in sex and the city (LOL truth) for being businesswomen and free. Finally admitting to myself that I may end up child free has been a weight off my mfing shoulders!!
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 Absolutely!
I’m 31 and I don’t have kids. I’m so glad I don’t 😮💨 I love kids but I do not have the energy to run around taking care of any for the rest of my life. That and my anxiety is already horrible. I don’t need a huge consistent reason to be having a panic attack for the rest of my life.
A friend of mine has 3 kids and I love them but I see how draining it is for her. I can’t help but feel like I made the right decision for myself. I’m always here for her (and anyone else close to me) if they need anything with their kids but that’s only because I have the energy to spare. Energy that they need to recharge.
A lot of women are brainwashed by the patriarchy that we must get married have kids and cook and clean to please a man. That's not reality! In fact a lot of women who do have kids are single moms, not by choice. I'm 27 & don't want kids either. I was always told, you'll change your mind when you grow up.
They're a liability, expensive & I just don't want to be a parent. To the women that are single moms, shoutout to you cus that's hard work!
Girl yes! -yes to all of it. Thank you for making this video,I felt like this too when I was in middle school I never questioned anything and thought I wanted kids when I was older (in highschool) I started to question if it would be good for me with my mental health, by the time I graduated I knew I didn’t want kids and have stuck by that I knew I wanted a partner but I needed them to be on the same page as me as I’m not willing to have kids for anyone. I’m happy I found someone who agrees with me. And that I’m not weird or broken for not wanting kids. I’m so happy I am able to just be myself more women need to speak out on this so that we’re not trapped in the idea that motherhood is our only option. So often it’s painted like it is and we have no value outside of motherhood and it’s not true. I’m so glad more of us are saying no and choosing what we want and not just what society tells us to do
I feel the same way! I’m 23 and have reasons of my own similar to yours as to why I don’t want kids. Though lately I wonder if I do. I feel Im grounded more in that I don’t want biological kids. I do have mother-like, caregiving tendencies, but I don’t want to ruin my body giving birth and whatnot. I been feeling open to adopting once I’m financially stable and mentally ready and gotten therapy. I sure would like to be more like a mentor to a parent-less teen already existing and taking them in as my own kid. But I would also love to not have to worry about anyone else but me and my partner/husband and enjoy each other till we die. Idk, I never imagined having a family of my own, and I think it’s becus I don’t want a chance that it could follow a dysfunctional family dynamic like mine and end up being a separated family.
I am not going to ruin my body to give the capitalism I despise another victim. And earth is overpopulated so I am not contributing to this problem.
And I see motherhood as slavery.
I want to do so many things, not life my life on "Extra Hard"mode.
when reality hit me that’s when i slowly started to take back wanting kids. i started paying attention to people around me and their family dynamic/ relationship and don’t like what i see. not only am i seeing this from people close to me but even online! on top of that it’s the aftermath of having children. your relationship crumbles, losing friends, postpartum etc. its just the complete turn around of your normal life and i just don’t want to give that up to be a caregiver to a child.
and all this stuff going on in the world, you expect me to raise i child in this climate?? 😂
This! Most people I know have at least a gripe or two with their parents that can’t be explained away with “they’re doing their best”. A lot of family dynamics are unhealthy, and even if they’re not everyone has at least a few sour memories of their parents. A lot of it seem break down starting age 12. Parents want cute younglings that are easy to control, not adolescents who are messy and can be a pain in the ass.
@@Sofiaode18 yesss! love my parents to death but the things they have said/ did will forever be stuck in my mind! i was that age when reality set in, i felt the switch from cute to i see i can’t get away w/ this (control) anymore.
I am a 30 year old and have never wanted kids. Knew this from since I was about 14 and it solidifyed in my 20's. I have never felt maternal and have an extreme fear of throwing up so I can't be around kids. Thankyou for making this video I applaude you ❤
I don't want kids because I don't, and have never enjoyed being around them (even when I was a kid myself) and I also dislike being a caregiver for anyone, period. Like, I'll take care of my relatives when they need it but I do not enjoy an ounce of it. It's just a chore that needs to be done. I hate being restricted by others, interrupted while I'm doing something or having to adapt to someone else's needs and schedule. I'd hate to unwittingly repeat the same parenting techniques that lead me to resent my mother to this day. In the end, nothing about having kids is appealing to me and I have always known that.
Even if I loved them, I would end up having a lot of resentment towards any potential children and no child deserves to grow up with that weight. I love that people are being more critical of the social norms imposed on us and realizing that they don't in fact, need to have children. There are amazing parents out there but also countless people who should never have been allowed to raise children at all. We do NOT need people to be popping out babies they don't want just so they can tick it off their to-do list.
I don't think that's "women's nature" to be caretakers and servants. That's one of the many lies of patriarchy.
Yes!🙌 preach girl I’m the same way!
I never wanted kids. When I was younger, I wanted to adopt... I never thought I would find someone who would stick around to have a kid with. I think if you adopt, you have to be in a couple so..... single and alone spinster to this day...
You can be single & still adopt. Also it may be a good idea to consider fostering a child
Adding to person above you could find another woman who shares similar goals to raise a kiddo together. Old tribe method!
(I'd like to preface this with: I'm notably young, male and a Multi Level Marketer (gay))
Ok, I'm only halfway through the video, but I want to give my thoughts before I go to sleep and forget about this video completely.
I don't want children because I know for a fact I would not be a good father. Why? Well, because I'm severely mentally ill, I don't like children in the first place (it's not their fault, I just don't like stupid people and children are young and thus lacking in knowledge) and frankly? I doubt I'll ever make enough to take care of them. I know "nothing new under the sun" and all that, but I'd like to also share my experience as a child of a mother.
My mother - quite frankly - shouldn't have had children, but I don't blame her for at least my existence... my brothers? I'm not sure. But for me, I was brought into this existence through... uh... My dad was in a relationship with my mother, but he's abusive and manipulated her into "accidentally" getting pregnant with me (it's not really my story to share, so I'll leave it there). She does her best, but she's never quite been cut out for the role, and frankly she has numerous issues that she's only started working on now, not least of which was my narcissist Grandma who I grew up with. My family has *many* issues, so it's never been a place for children whatsoever. I'm proud of my mom for all she's done for me and my brother and how hard she tries, but I am also disappointed she had us at all. She's a good woman ultimately, and I'm proud to call her my mother and she works hard to take care of me. But my childhood was not good, at all. My narcissist grandma would argue with me about everything, and my Mom would always side with her because we were both being abused by that woman. My mom has had a bad hand dealt to her, and I'm so proud of her for everything she's accomplished... I just wish some of it could've been accomplished *before* I grew up mentally abused. Ultimately, she's a bad mother, but a good person who I admire, and who's earned that admiration and most of the issues with her being a mother were from the people around her, but her place here is not to be forgotten.
P.S: sorry if this is long winded or incoherent, I am notably tired and just wanted to get this out before I forgot.