Why Men Don’t Dare to Dress Well: The Fear of Standing Out

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 3 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 203

  • @jlglo2011
    @jlglo2011 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +124

    Us as individuals who dress up in this society, we are the rebels in this generation. While society tends to dress down, we dress up as a sign of not conforms. Great video!!

    • @cheseburger0912
      @cheseburger0912 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +8

      I dressed like a metalhead in my teens (I still am on the inside though 😂) and now I do smart casual for leisure time and suit up for work. And boy, I feel more like a subculture now than before lol

    • @AllureSecretary
      @AllureSecretary  2 วันที่ผ่านมา +10

      Completely agree! dressing up today is the ultimate rebellion against conformity. It’s almost like the 'new punk,' where refinement challenges the norm. Thanks for the support and glad you enjoyed the video!

    • @AbuBakrAliHJ
      @AbuBakrAliHJ วันที่ผ่านมา

      I am starting to dress like this like old money

    • @gocarnivoretv1977
      @gocarnivoretv1977 7 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      That’s how I feel, I dress in a black coat that looks like a suit, with a stripe dressshirt and sand coloured khakis, with leather boots and leather backpack as a non-conformist of our modern decaying civilisation. And I live in a low income ghetto in Malmö too lmao, I don’t care I’ll still dress like a lawyer even if I’m low income.

    • @McCarthy1776
      @McCarthy1776 4 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      And they're either rich successful men who do it for work or autistic "sigma" nerds who aren't very fit, wealthy, or masculine and are trying to cover their shortcomings with fancy clothes. Dressing like you're in 20th century England in the 21st century is LARPing, it's weird. It will maintain your virginity forever. And if you can afford to do that at a young age then I imagine you were spoiled and born into wealth.

  • @kiwi9065
    @kiwi9065 23 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +47

    Ok, but i want to put on badass Knight armor tho.

    • @B31NG
      @B31NG 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +2

      normalize it😊

    • @pinarppanrapir9489
      @pinarppanrapir9489 18 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +3

      I was looking for this comment.

    • @lednevnik
      @lednevnik 13 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      Full plate armour with undergarment

    • @samaelauneor
      @samaelauneor 2 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      If I ever had the money to maintain a pair of full plates, I'd absolutely wear them the whole winter.

  • @istp1967
    @istp1967 10 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +20

    Since turning 50, I have raised the bar in my daily clothing. I got mocked for a bit. But I just smiled and said, "I want to dress my age, like a Man not a schoolboy". That was enough, and they backed off.

    • @wutangdunks
      @wutangdunks 3 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      No that’s not what a man dresses like, that’s how an office slave NPC dresses like. When you wear a suit you look like someone who’s never gotten their finger nails dirty in their life before. That’s not a man, that’s a corporate slave who’s scared to get his hands dirty.

  • @florianschaefer2527
    @florianschaefer2527 วันที่ผ่านมา +43

    There are many prejudices against elegant clothing:
    Suits, ties, dress shirts etc are stiff and uncomfortable
    elegant clothes are very expensive
    elegant clothes are you just showing off
    classical clothes means you are very conservative by default
    None of these prejudices are true however.

    • @hugomota3696
      @hugomota3696 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      you have not experienced good quality suits and dress shirts.

    • @meganoobbg3387
      @meganoobbg3387 14 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      Except the expensive part though - for an average Joe, it's truly unaffordable unless he's planning on wearing 1 or 2 same expensive outfits every day. Most men in this austerity ridden neo-liberal age simply can't afford an actual wardrobe with a good selection of elegant clothes for the week atleast.

    • @hugomota3696
      @hugomota3696 14 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      @@meganoobbg3387 quality is not necessary expensive. At least in the european market you have plenty of suit and shirt options that are perfectly affordable to low income people, sometimes cheaper that the cheapest casual clothing brands but with far better quality. Is a question of research, avoid marketing landmines and try in the shop.

    • @meganoobbg3387
      @meganoobbg3387 14 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      @@hugomota3696 That's one half of Europe - the other one even the cheapest formal clothes are too expensive. And don't forget the laundry expense - most elegant clothes require dry cleaning. Can't just throw em in the washing machine. (and the last thing a working man wants to do, is laundry many pairs of clothes every week)

    • @hugomota3696
      @hugomota3696 12 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      @@meganoobbg3387 I lived in a Balkan country with less than minimum wage available to cover my expensenves and I still find good elegant clothing in local weekend faires and was able to have them clean and manage with my other basic needs. Again, is a matter of quality vs quantity and know where to look, instead of going for casual because you assume is cheaper. And instead of having 20 casual shirts, have 5 proper shirts. etc. It is strategy.

  • @kisstheforest2463
    @kisstheforest2463 8 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +10

    A friend of mine worked in a small german tech company. He is quite small (around 5ft 3) but he chose to wear nice boots and a 3 piece suit) He did this for a few weeks until his Boss came to him (his boss is wearing casual clothes) and told him to stop wearing these clothes cause they make him (The Boss) look bad.

    • @McCarthy1776
      @McCarthy1776 4 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      Its weird, it's irrational, it's pointless. How does wearing a 3 piece suit objectively improve your productivity, or masculinity? It doesn't. If you have to rely on expensive clothing to feel secure about your masculinity then that's a problem.

  • @charlesf.roland542
    @charlesf.roland542 วันที่ผ่านมา +7

    I have never been afraid to stand out when it comes to style. Ever since I was a kid I have always had a respect for elegant dressing. My father was a very sharp well dressed man. That's probably where I get it from. Society has become to comfortable with what they call "Style" because they feel dressing up is old. The truth is fads grow old, "Style and Elegance"never grow old !!! 💯

  • @abulafia9834
    @abulafia9834 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +40

    Never seen such bad reactions here in Europe. Maybe the disregard against well dressed men is more an american perception.

    • @AllureSecretary
      @AllureSecretary  2 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      That’s a really interesting point. I think the pressure to conform to 'dressing down' exists in varying degrees globally, especially as casual wear continues to dominate. Thanks for sharing your perspective!

    • @pascalnorvins2187
      @pascalnorvins2187 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I get insulted in Paris by lefties with my sport jacket and a tie. It s fun y because you need a hell lot of income to get lodged there so you ´re a bourgeois, whatever how many Che or Mao badges you ´re displaying on your immaculate workwear .That city sucks btw

    • @DJRevan
      @DJRevan 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +7

      I remember when I visited the US last year (Boston, Manhattan mainly) and I worn my double breasted black corduroy overcoat and dress shoes all the time and people even in the NY metro (which is an otherwise brutal place) were polite and gave me the way during my whole visit. I have the same treatment here in Europe as well. People generally behave around you, when you radiate confidence and style. Don't believe me - go verify it yourself.

    • @iPlayOnSpica
      @iPlayOnSpica 6 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      I've consistently dressed up nicely when outside the US (mostly Europe and Japan). As soon as I step back into the US, I need to go somewhere specific if I want to go out dressed up, or else I settle for something inconspicuous in fear of being seen and targeted by a thief or robber. Nobody steals or breaks into a stick shift beater car, but a fancy new family SUV is a prime target for broken windows in a sketchy Walmart parking lot.

    • @garymontes1901
      @garymontes1901 4 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      @@abulafia9834 …more like an American infection…😁

  • @rlkinnard
    @rlkinnard 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +24

    I don't think that anyone is pushing against looking typically masculine; there is a tendency to dress more casually though well within the gender norms. I was shopping and stopped into Hermes, the ultimate in charging for clothes, and what was on display was fairly casual but nothing that would be wildly out of place in 1959 for a man. Nothing there was breaking gender norms. Ditto Armani, Bruno Cuccinelli. Clothes are less formal but still very masculine.
    Many suits cover up flaws, sure a few do require being pretty thin. But suits generally cover up your flaws and don't highlight them. Less formal clothes can be less forgiving.

    • @AllureSecretary
      @AllureSecretary  2 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Thanks for sharing your perspective! You bring up a great point: many high-end brands do maintain a traditionally masculine aesthetic, even as fashion trends lean more casual. However, I think the challenge arises in how these styles are perceived in everyday environments. While casual wear dominates, dressing in a more classic, refined way can often feel 'overdressed' in certain settings, making it harder for men to feel comfortable expressing that side of their style.
      Additionally, the growing trend of fluid fashion has introduced new dynamics that might challenge traditional expressions of masculinity for some. Thanks again for the thoughtful comment!

    • @rlkinnard
      @rlkinnard 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      @@AllureSecretary There may be some fashion companies that push the boundaries, and many actual homosexuals dress less traditionally in their spare time. But they account for only 2 or 3% of people though they may have more income to devote to appearance.
      i have an interest in fashion, but i never discuss it with any men. I don't think many men care about it.
      As I said before, the issue is that men are wearing more casual clothes. Even a blazer would be considered overdressed.

    • @AllureSecretary
      @AllureSecretary  2 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      @@rlkinnard You’re absolutely right that casualization has shifted norms so much that even a blazer can feel 'overdressed' in certain settings. This is a key part of the challenge I wanted to highlight: how these evolving norms can make men feel constrained in expressing themselves through more refined styles.

  • @RyuEnGamer
    @RyuEnGamer วันที่ผ่านมา +13

    You hit the nail on the head when speaking about tech/startup/creative companies. Those are Peter Pan industries who thrive on staying in Neverland forever. In my previous role with a 20-year old startup, the amount of "Oh you're making me look bad," or "What are you doing? Trying to take over?" or "Oh. You dress so nice," passive aggressive comments I received was eye opening. Mind you, this was a client-facing role I was in. And it wasn't like I came in wearing a three piece suit. Just a collar shirt and some khakis. But man, the air of insecurity was breathtaking.
    Conversely, I was applauded and "respected" for wearing a hoodie and t-shirt.

    • @AllureSecretary
      @AllureSecretary  วันที่ผ่านมา +7

      Exactly, it's ironic how dressing well in those environments can spark insecurity instead of inspiration. Elegance truly exposes more than it hides!

    • @beholder2012
      @beholder2012 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      I like to wear three piece suit - and I don't care about opinion of those common ragamuffins. 🤣

    • @PapikinsAB
      @PapikinsAB วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      It's moreso because of jealousy than anything else. I can tell you that this also happens to women who dress well; pretty much anyone who stands out will get picked on by conformists. But if you are strong and don't pay any mind to the naysayers, you'll find people who like your individuality and respect you for having your own sense of style.

    • @spark300c
      @spark300c 13 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      Well in tech should embrace business causal look to stand out form crazy SJWs. Nerds were known to dress well to show off that they mean business. In fact because of hippies dressing low income was form of rebellion. Dressing low income when come white collar job in hoodie and T-shirt. Since a hoodie is at bottom of formality scale.
      When an engineer comes to work button shirt up and khakis should standard be standard. When cold out then a sport coat is added to mix. So when person want technical question answered they know exactly who to turn to. Also know that person are not a SJW too. Since SJW rarely ever dress well. You are right about Neverland thing because kids do not want dress well until they grow up. The hoodie and T-shirt should be left to people who do not do technical work or deal with clients. how ever engineer may get away with not wearing a suit because some times they have get their hand dirty in make prototypes or walk the factory floor.

  • @EttoreSAAB900
    @EttoreSAAB900 3 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

    Me and my buddy are used to dress well since the first years of high school.
    Recently I got a job as a warehouse/sales-office worker and always wear a shirt, tailored trousers and oxford shoes,which is basically as my manager dresses.
    The other day the owner's son came in and pointed out the way I was dressed and told me to put on jeans and "twenty-year-old shoes".
    The way I took it is that he feels so insecure that he wants me to dress down, and that's why I'll keep dressing well.

  • @pinarppanrapir9489
    @pinarppanrapir9489 18 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +5

    Another point is if you dress well where the average person wears shorts and flip-flops, you'll be seen as someone with money. Asking to be mugged.

    • @iPlayOnSpica
      @iPlayOnSpica 6 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      So this. I always dress down in the US but always dress up in Europe and Japan.

  • @danielcastilo1840
    @danielcastilo1840 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +16

    Class and elegance are a form of respect towards others not a form pf arrogance .This is the mistake most men make that causes great reluctance in wanting to dress up

    • @AllureSecretary
      @AllureSecretary  2 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Beautifully said! class and elegance truly are about respect, not arrogance. I think you’ve captured one of the core misunderstandings that hold many men back from dressing up. The fear of being seen as 'trying too hard' often overshadows the idea that dressing well is a way to honor both yourself and those around you. Thank you!

    • @jlglo2011
      @jlglo2011 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I am completely agree. I dress up for myself and respect towards others.

    • @garymontes1901
      @garymontes1901 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Dr. Peterson would certainly agree…😊👍

    • @McCarthy1776
      @McCarthy1776 4 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      You don't understand history and sociology very well. Fashion and wearing elegant clothing has always been to portray power and status. It has little to do with respect beyond the superficial.

    • @McCarthy1776
      @McCarthy1776 4 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      ​@@AllureSecretarylol the fact that you talk about this so casually like most men can afford to buy fitted elegant suits tells me a lot about you.

  • @Gaphalor
    @Gaphalor 6 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +2

    I am 28 and since I joined a historic student fraternity I dont wear T-Shirts and Jeans and casual stuff like this anymore (just in my own 4 rooms when I chill). I exclusively wear anything from a shirt and chino and up to full suite, for winter a long coat and leather mittens. Always clean shaven and fresh Hair. At first you feel overdressed, but you will get used to it. It also opens many doors I feel and I've got many compliments from women. But you need to know a bit about mens wear, you cannot combine just anything, there are certain rules, and I feel most people even in business space make a lot of terrible choices regarding this. Andone more thing: Its not that expensive actually, when I started out I just needed to know my sizes and I started by buying used stuff for cheap money. Most people use their suits one or two times and then sell them for cheap.

  • @samaelauneor
    @samaelauneor 2 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

    I'm 35 and decided to level up my clothing this year. People mock me saying it's mid-age crisis, but my wife's and other women looks says otherwise.

  • @RealRed03
    @RealRed03 6 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

    I would say 99% of the reason for casual clothes is convenience and practicality. Especially for someone who is quite active. It’s hard to beat jeans and boots for most outdoor situations. I prefer clothes I can rely on and not worry about getting dirty or damaged. While it’s nice to dress up for occasions, I don’t think there is anything masculine about being overly fussy with clothing, especially if your clothing prevents you from wanting to get your hands dirty.

    • @McCarthy1776
      @McCarthy1776 4 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      These kids aren't thinking rationally. They're young boys who watched Peaky Blinders and thought it was cool, and they see wealthy business men wearing suits and having women, nice cars, respect etc. And they are virgins who everyone thinks are weird. Then they start wearing suits and fedoras in casual environments and wonder why everyone thinks they're even more weird after that. So then they make videos like this saying society is wrong and that they are actually more masculine and superior 😂. Notice these people never show their face or use their real voice in these videos. Cause they're insecure, they're nobodies who have this artificial self perceptive persona that copies Thomas Shelby but in real life they are nothing like that

  • @jt.8144
    @jt.8144 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

    Bottomline, how you dress reflects your personality. You have to EARN your way to start wearing suits.
    Today's simps can only google "how they should look and feel" but TRULY won't get that way .. till they look within themselves and address every issue in order to move on.

    • @AllureSecretary
      @AllureSecretary  วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      Absolutely, personal growth is key, but dressing well doesn’t have to wait. Sometimes, embracing a classy style can help reinforce your confidence and character as you grow!

    • @caesarortega5249
      @caesarortega5249 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      You can pull off anything if you you are a success/have supreme confidence or if you can kick people's asses.

    • @kisstheforest2463
      @kisstheforest2463 8 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      Your will probably dig this quote from Ernest Hemingway: "There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.” :)

    • @wutangdunks
      @wutangdunks 3 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      A simp is someone who does everything in his life for the sake of chasing women. If you wear a suit because it impresses women, but your body is telling you your body is more comfortable in jeans and a hoodie, you’re behaving like a simp.

  • @viktorkabrt5513
    @viktorkabrt5513 4 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

    I started to dress well everywhere, especially in my working place, many people judge me or even called me on that: "I'm overdress and asked me if I'm going somewhere - like wedding" and btw I'm working in office, so this thing should be normal, but it's not, even our high manager don't dress that well, in my eyes, most of the times I overshadow him with my clothes. Most of my colleagues wear simple clothes, nothing to stand out. After some time, most of my colleagues get used to my new style, but they will always judge you. For all guys, that want to wear something better, it's hard from the beginning, but you will get used to it and after some time, you will never want to wear those "simple" clothes again.

    • @McCarthy1776
      @McCarthy1776 3 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      Because your value as a worker is in how well you do your job not in how you dress. Y'all are being shallow and acting like women obsessing over fashion

  • @AbuBakrAliHJ
    @AbuBakrAliHJ วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Im starting to dress like this like old money

  • @danielcastilo1840
    @danielcastilo1840 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +12

    Elegance never goes out style

  • @9cross
    @9cross วันที่ผ่านมา +5

    I dress nice and someone where I work though I was gay

    • @AllureSecretary
      @AllureSecretary  วันที่ผ่านมา +7

      Lol! Sounds like someone might be projecting their own insecurities onto your sharp, masculine style. Keep owning it!

    • @Mamba0809
      @Mamba0809 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      That is his problem not yours.

  • @beholder2012
    @beholder2012 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    4:30 „they fear they may be labelled old-fashioned” etc. - I don't care. I wear „old-fashioned” suit, tie and trilby/fedora/panama hat (depending on the season and weather), sometimes also a vest in addition, and I get much of positive response from the ladies (and even from teenage girls). So the others, these fearing „to be labelled old-fashioned” may still dress like a hobos, I'll have less competition. 🙃

  • @FatNorthernBigot
    @FatNorthernBigot วันที่ผ่านมา +6

    I can't stand billionaires that dress down. They're not the same as us, so why do they pretend they are? I miss the billionaire that was honest enough to wear a top hat and monocle, and pushed a wheelbarrow full of money, whilst shouting "out of my way, prole!" 😂

    • @locks4
      @locks4 3 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      Ok mister " monopoly"😂

  • @Ticklethapicklealil
    @Ticklethapicklealil วันที่ผ่านมา +6

    I resist wearing a suit on my off days because my day job requires a suit 😅

    • @coastliner5848
      @coastliner5848 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      I wore suit & tie every workday for 36 years. Now I've retired they've all gone to charity. I've earned my dress down time.

    • @spark300c
      @spark300c 13 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      with me I do not own a suit but would like job where could. I degree in engineering but fail to land that kind of job.

    • @wutangdunks
      @wutangdunks 3 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      Exactly. People who wear suits on a casual day off work are trying too hard, it’s kind of cringe. People who wear suits to work because they have to, get tired of it. I hate the way suits look, so thankfully I work in an engineering blue collar setting where I never have to put one on.

    • @wutangdunks
      @wutangdunks 3 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      And let’s be real these fashion MFs are talking about wearing suits for fashion, not for workwear attire. And that’s even more cringe.

  • @bossman4799
    @bossman4799 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I began to get into the idea of more classic clothing and higher quality clothing a few years back. At the time I worked outside in manual labor so wearing suits or even just dress shirts and shoes didn’t make sense, so I started with more casual heritage style items. Now I work at a bank and can wear my nicer clothing every day and get compliments from the customers. Sometimes it just takes a small change in lifestyle to get that push.

  • @its_nathaniel5409
    @its_nathaniel5409 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    Tell me why when I wore a black polo and green chinos with a black belt and some simple sneakers someone asked me why I was dressed up 😭

    • @AllureSecretary
      @AllureSecretary  วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      Because in today’s world, looking put-together is practically formalwear! 😅 You’re redefining 'dressed up,' one outfit at a time.

    • @zachtine4404
      @zachtine4404 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Welcome to the club...same happened to everyday in the office

    • @jamesjameason8348
      @jamesjameason8348 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      People are so goddamn pathetic and stupid sometimes. Keep your style. Make them feel uncomfortable. You are… you’re challenging men to step up. Unfortunately, they never will because they are too sorry assed to do so. You just hold the line… there are others like you. Salute!

    • @jamesjameason8348
      @jamesjameason8348 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      People are so goddamn pathetic and stupid sometimes. Keep your style. Make them feel uncomfortable. You are… you’re challenging men to step up. Unfortunately, they never will because they are too sorry assed to do so. You just hold the line… there are others like you. Salute!

  • @ondrejdolnicek865
    @ondrejdolnicek865 15 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    In industry is ultra casual really dress code. I work in factory in central Europe and I am standing out simply by wearing classic casual jackets and dark jeans.
    Wearing vintage long overcoats which I love is unimaginable. So, curretly I can use more refined clothes in church and theatre.

  • @AlexMig
    @AlexMig วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I’ve been dressing nicer on my days off but i work a job where I’m outside all day and have to basically wear dirty work clothes and a lot of people I know are in the same position but for me when I look good I feel good so I dress as nice as I can when I go on dates or just go out in general but I think a lot of people don’t see the point if they are just going to have to throw on work clothes monday

  • @pallasathena1555
    @pallasathena1555 13 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +2

    Suiting has its roots in the army, suit coats come from a soldiers tunic, the cut of the trouser and formal shoes from riding jompers and boots. Suiting therefore is the uniform of the patriot, the king is always in suiting because he is the head of the military, for example.
    School uniforms are modelled on adult clothing not the reverse because dressing formally is an indication of respect and discipline from military ideals, which schools are aiming towards.
    In the early to mid 20th century patriotism was emphasised however with the rise of globalisation and the decline of empire i believe those ideas has fallen away by most, this is why conservatives tend to dress smarter, to show consolidation with those previously widespread patriotic ideas. It’s apt that mark zuckerburg rejects the suit, his business is all about social global unity.

    • @McCarthy1776
      @McCarthy1776 4 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      Fashion is completely subjective. There's no objective value to any kind of dress. Your value comes from yourself not your clothes.

  • @chief6541
    @chief6541 16 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

    I am 21 attending a Community College but will be attending UC Berkeley BioEngineering next year. My advice is to embrace consistency and your values, even if steady at first. Draw upon inspiration from suit silhouttes (etc.) but adjust the formality as appropriate.
    Here are some of what I started with:
    Shirts: Polos < Oxfords
    Pants: jeans (esp. dark navy or grey) < chinos < wool flannel
    Outerwear: waxed jackets < peacoats < trenchcoats < various overcoats
    Footwear: minimalist sneakers < loafers (gum sole < rubber < leather sole) < Chelsea boots < brogued derbies

  • @DavidAnthony-m4s
    @DavidAnthony-m4s วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    Hi from Brisbane, Australia: What a great video, and oh so very true. In the current men's fashion "athleisure" arena / uniform of t-shirt, shorts, sneakers and baseball cap - The gent who wears a manly button-down shirt, linen trousers, leather belt, proper shoes and a fedora hat is indeed the modern rebel. Cmon guys, let's stop dressing like schoolboys, up our game a little, and be proud to stand out from the crowd....

    • @AllureSecretary
      @AllureSecretary  วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Greetings to Brisbane! Absolutely, dressing sharp today is the ultimate way to stand out. Let’s bring back that pride and redefine modern masculinity!

  • @justdoitsolutions269
    @justdoitsolutions269 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Never follow the dictates of society. If everybody says the same thing, then you know you must be right. I am sigma

    • @McCarthy1776
      @McCarthy1776 4 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      Sigma is synonymous for autistic, I've come to learn. You're also very young and naive and get your knowledge from other kids on TH-cam. Sigma is not a real thing. Its completely made up by other gen z nerdy kids who feel insecure. If you don't conform to basic social norms you will forever be an outcast and a loser. Humans are social animals that natural conform to basic culture. Those who don't have mental disorders preventing them from understanding social norms. Society will reject you if you LARP all the time. When you're 35 with a shitty job, still a virgin, no friends except a couple other loser virgins then hopefully you'll understand.

  • @voornaamachternaam5745
    @voornaamachternaam5745 3 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

    AS A BLACKMAN ITS EVEN WORSE ,YOU SUPPOSE TO WEAR HIPHOP CLOTHING !

  • @blueguy97
    @blueguy97 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    There are elegants items in american styles as well , nice boots and relaxed jeans with types of jackets

  • @attroenergizer8115
    @attroenergizer8115 8 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +2

    i love dressing as a drug dillah nobody wants to mess with me

  • @locks4
    @locks4 2 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

    I have personal issues about when men go out with their women to important gatherings and wear street wear while she is dressed in a dress and heels..it urks me

  • @MrSteve_Luddite.
    @MrSteve_Luddite. วันที่ผ่านมา +5

    I have been on a sartorial journey for the last few years and i wish I had done it sooner.
    Typically when going out for the evening i wear chinos or trousers, quality shoes or boots, a shirt and tie or cravat, sports coat or blazer and a trilby or fedora. Also a long wool overcoat or rainmac in cooler or wetter weather.
    Not that i do it for comments but i often get positive comments from friends and strangers.
    I don't spend much on clothing (other than for a well fitting shirt) and many of my clothing items are from eBay.
    If a male can walk down the street wearing Womens clothing without worrying about what other people think or say, we can each feel comfortable by looking smart, masculine and elegant.

  • @darkphotographer
    @darkphotographer 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    often the way you dress depend on what music you lessen , what job you do , were you go out , were you are locate ,and your age . i really like the john wick black on black style , and the peaky blinders look , and often dress like that , and wear hats , from fendora trilby and flat caps ,, even if is to formal for were i go out , i don t care ,, looks good , and also am freelace photographer so i can wear whatever i want , and more often than not has a positive effect on my clients ,

    • @McCarthy1776
      @McCarthy1776 4 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      These kids don't have jobs. The fact that they are talking about wearing multiple thousand dollar fitted suits everyday tells me, they have rich mommies and daddies and don't have real jobs. Because any young person who isn't born into wealth will typically have a job that requires physical activity and also won't be able to afford fitted suits. And a middle class responsible adult who can kinda afford to dress nice WOULDNT because they're mature and responsible and would rather invest their money into growth rather than LARPing.

  • @Thexorex
    @Thexorex 13 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    Personnally its not because I'm afraid to stand out, its because I don't care enough to wear or buy something stylish. Clothes are clothes for me, I just pick something random in my closet that seems good enough and thats it.

  • @510baysharkantthizzle4
    @510baysharkantthizzle4 20 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    My style is like a frat boy preppy look. Polos,Cardigans,Khakis,etc. With a strapback cap is the finishing touch. Also leather jackets and pea coats.I notice I get treated better when I dress like that. 🤷🏽‍♂️ I dig it though.

  • @Mamba0809
    @Mamba0809 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    Awesome video. Thanks

    • @AllureSecretary
      @AllureSecretary  2 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Thank you so much! I’m glad you enjoyed it.

  • @AA-tb7rg
    @AA-tb7rg วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I saw a Boston police man smiling at me in disrespect while waiting for my cab in a tweed sports coat and corduroy pants. It was clearly judgemental, although I did not care. In Europe, I usually experience increased respect when I dress more classy.

    • @MrSteve_Luddite.
      @MrSteve_Luddite. วันที่ผ่านมา

      Are you sure he was smiling at you in disrespect ? Could it have been in admiration ?

    • @AllureSecretary
      @AllureSecretary  วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Sounds like a touch of envy disguised as a smile. Tweed and corduroy command respect, even if not everyone knows how to show it!

    • @jazzman1626
      @jazzman1626 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      A few years ago, I saw a gentleman wearing a brown tweed three piece suit, with a cream shirt and blue tie, tan overcoat brown mirror polished brogues and a brown fedora. As he passed a group of young women, they laughed mockingly at him. Their impertinence incensed me. The gentleman went into a shop and I had to get to my work, so couldn’t have a conversation with him about his excellent taste and style. I admired his self confidence and good taste. Hopefully young men will learn from this much needed excellent video.

    • @beholder2012
      @beholder2012 วันที่ผ่านมา

      The uniform of that police man most probably was the one and only decent suit he ever wore. 😂

    • @beholder2012
      @beholder2012 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@jazzman1626 weren't these young „ladies” tattooed and wearing ripped and torn jeans? 😁

  • @JamesW7723
    @JamesW7723 6 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    I don’t think it’s mostly about standing out and looking different from the rest of the crowd. I think it’s because many men are overweight and don’t think they would look good in a tailored outfit.

    • @McCarthy1776
      @McCarthy1776 4 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      Its because most men can afford to blow thousands of dollars on suits. You guys are all very young aren't you? Its also not a cultural norm. Its always been weird to dress like the previous century. Formal clothing is for formal occasions. It makes no sense to dress up on a regular day. It's just LARPing. Thats why only autistic kids do it

  • @DavidBerger-g2h
    @DavidBerger-g2h 4 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    You whats works having a Group dressing similair makes everything wearable.

  • @blackbird0147
    @blackbird0147 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    that's all true, but it's repeated over and over again. I believe I'm just watching a KI script. The subject deserves a more serious approach.

    • @gonasjoss
      @gonasjoss วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      from the first second of this video i was sceptical. everything about this screams AI. man such a shame. you're hyped to watch a well made 20 minute video and it's an AI voice with stock fotage. dead internet is becoming more and more real.

  • @ifcinvestor569
    @ifcinvestor569 6 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

    One who thinks for himself is an Alpha Male!

    • @McCarthy1776
      @McCarthy1776 3 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      Thats not what alpha male means

  • @patrickpregiato1794
    @patrickpregiato1794 7 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    You mean elegantly!

  • @Fueled_By_Boba
    @Fueled_By_Boba 17 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    very good video, Allure Secretary. however i do see more potential in this channel if the use of AI is toned down a bit. i believe it would make your projects sound less redundant, while still emphasizing the main ideas that are being presented. my two cents, good day! 🍻

    • @AllureSecretary
      @AllureSecretary  14 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      Thank you for your constructive feedback. It helps me improve. Best regards!

  • @the_gentleman_04
    @the_gentleman_04 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Exactly!

  • @liljuanito123
    @liljuanito123 22 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

    I despise how casual clothing is the norm for anything now. I see men wearing a suit and sneakers to prom.. wtf... while the girl is full dress and heels. The sneakers look dumb "bro".
    Even in my workplace, the younger Engineers wear joggers and a beanie while the others wear at least a collared shirt and shoes.

    • @spark300c
      @spark300c 12 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      To engineers show wear collared shits and khakis to show they are not an sjw and is professional who can do very technical work. Engineers should dress like nerds to show they are professionals. Since image of nerd is a man who dress in business cuasial.

    • @McCarthy1776
      @McCarthy1776 4 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      Not everyone has mommy and daddies money to blow on a bunch of suits for no reason. You kids are so naive and coddled it's unbelievable. I highly doubt that all of you are already successful making 6 figures or more and can afford to wear fitted expensive suits everyday unless your parents are paying for it. And if that's the case it explains a lot about why you're all so naive and weird

  • @ponderbot34
    @ponderbot34 4 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    In a nutshell: We're afraid of being labeled a "dandy man" if you know what i mean

  • @neonhologram2077
    @neonhologram2077 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Based

  • @bakulubaka8661
    @bakulubaka8661 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    It's not enough time in a day for elegant fashion.

    • @AllureSecretary
      @AllureSecretary  วันที่ผ่านมา

      It’s not about fashion, it’s about timeless elegance! Style doesn’t need extra hours, just intention.

    • @jazzman1626
      @jazzman1626 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Fashion comes and goes at the whim of the majority sheeple. Style lasts and is the mark of a man of independent mind. I’m in my late 60s, I don’t ask permission for things.

    • @McCarthy1776
      @McCarthy1776 3 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      ​@@AllureSecretaryit needs extra hours, and a ton of money. You really are spoiled and coddled aren't you? What do you do for work? Or do you even have a job?

  • @chrislaid214
    @chrislaid214 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Well it depends on your profession. If you have a white collar job like if you're a doctor, lawyer, finance bro, then you have no choice but to dress smart clothing at work, so might as well dress up classy and elegant.

    • @beholder2012
      @beholder2012 วันที่ผ่านมา

      …if you don't have „a white collar job” then you still have a choice. You're free to choose. 😉 What's YOUR choice?

    • @chrislaid214
      @chrislaid214 17 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      well i wouldn't dress up if i go to work at the construction, shipyard etc. that's for sure. It's not practical

    • @beholder2012
      @beholder2012 15 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      @@chrislaid214 that's for sure 😅

    • @McCarthy1776
      @McCarthy1776 3 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      ​@@beholder2012god you kids are ignorant. Have you ever had a job before kid? You can't just wear whatever you want. And most people need to be able to move around and shit. And when you're working all day and need to workout, nobody wants to take the time to change in and out of a fancy suit. Its obvious you kids are very young and have experienced much yet. You all sound extremely naive. Most people are too concerned with getting their work done, and growing themselves to have time to LARP.

  • @wutangdunks
    @wutangdunks 3 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    Because I don’t want to look like an office slave NPC. A tie literally looks like a leash. I will never wear a suit unless I’m getting paid for every minute that suit is on my body.

  • @Yayadays111
    @Yayadays111 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Biggest issue is overdressed for many occassions.

  • @esteveericmendez8826
    @esteveericmendez8826 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    My work colleague made fun of me for dressing fine classy and not so casual....his not part of my social group anymore

  • @jt.8144
    @jt.8144 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I love how "These groups are a bunch of Teenagers". LMAO.. NOT ENOUGH weight. 4:13.

  • @locks4
    @locks4 4 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    We havevto make the distinction between men and boys. Men dress how they want. Boys dress to fit in and for validation.

    • @McCarthy1776
      @McCarthy1776 3 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      Actually all humans except for one's with disorders like Autism for example, naturally conform to a culture. Its what holds society together. You haven't noticed the ones who always dress completely different and wear fedoras and all are always very weird socially awkward kids, usually overweight or underweight, acne, live at home until 30...

    • @locks4
      @locks4 3 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      ​@@McCarthy1776understood, but there does come a point as to where conforming suppresses an individual

  • @lednevnik
    @lednevnik 13 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    Tipping my fedora to all the supreme gentlemen out there

    • @McCarthy1776
      @McCarthy1776 4 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      Autism levels over 9000

    • @lednevnik
      @lednevnik 3 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      @McCarthy1776 limited humor processing is a sign of autism my dude

    • @lednevnik
      @lednevnik 3 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      @McCarthy1776 you mean your inability to detect humor?

  • @chunkymilk
    @chunkymilk 5 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    define ‘dress well’.

  • @pio4362
    @pio4362 17 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

    AI VOICE

  • @Methodsaimon
    @Methodsaimon วันที่ผ่านมา

    It's always the excuse it's too expensive or uncomfortable don't wanna type a whole guide here but if you do your research it doesn't have to be believe me you can wear fine silks and quality cashmere without being rich also people say i live in a hot climate well? Ever heard of seersucker or linnen or a very thin cotton weave?

    • @McCarthy1776
      @McCarthy1776 3 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      So you wear cheap shit pretending to be expensive shit. The whole point of dressing elegantly is to display your wealth and status. If you don't have wealth and status you shouldn't portray yourself as having wealth and status.

    • @McCarthy1776
      @McCarthy1776 3 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      What do you gain from doing that anyway? Casual clothes are much more practical. And a polo is nice enough for most things. Suits are for formal occasions or white collar business.

    • @Methodsaimon
      @Methodsaimon 3 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      @McCarthy1776 don't talk like you know if you don't!

  • @princesslithium
    @princesslithium วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    17 minutes of repeating the same things over and over again.

  • @sentiasatransformasi
    @sentiasatransformasi วันที่ผ่านมา

    in my country “old money style” is now being ridiculed bcs a fishy n cringe motivational speaker made it go viral n created a “fashion community” out of it

  • @kevinericsongs
    @kevinericsongs วันที่ผ่านมา

    men who dress classically these days look like they are wearing a costume

    • @beornkhan2736
      @beornkhan2736 วันที่ผ่านมา

      That is very sad

    • @Nightdiver20
      @Nightdiver20 7 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      Really? I think that way about people I see out in public wearing a hoodie, pajama pants and Crocs. Feels like I'm surrounded by extras on the set of Idiocracy

    • @kevinericsongs
      @kevinericsongs 6 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      @@Nightdiver20 it's just out-dated-old fashioned..like it or not modern style is casual-even millionaires are dressing down now-dress up to the nines now and you do look like you're trying too hard to impress..plus,i think there is a perception now that just wearing a suit doesn't mean you are a better person(despite what the 'influencers' tell you!)

    • @Nightdiver20
      @Nightdiver20 6 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      @@kevinericsongs Actually, you don't have to try hard at all to impress when everyone looks like slobs.
      Wearing a suit doesn't make you a better person but it does show that someone has at least some self respect. If the person wearing pajamas around doesn't have the bare minimum of self respect to get dressed, why should I respect them?

    • @kevinericsongs
      @kevinericsongs 6 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      @@Nightdiver20 that's my point though-just putting on a pair of trousers instead of pajama bottoms doesn't make you a better person-you just think it does!

  • @McCarthy1776
    @McCarthy1776 4 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    You have to somewhat conform to social norms or everyone will just think you're autistic. And you probably are if you're going around formally dressed up in casual life, especially if you're rocking the fedora and all. Also it's completely irrational to blow thousands of dollars on fitted suits to wear every day unless your job requires it. Most people don't have the money for that. And its difficult to work in a suit, or to do anything active. There's no logical or practical reason to do this. Focus on actual self improvement, not dressing up just to make people think you're someone you're not. No successful businessman would tell you to blow thousand of dollars on suits unless you're already rich.

  • @SeanA.Skeete-wd4vi
    @SeanA.Skeete-wd4vi วันที่ผ่านมา

    😊❤🎉💯.

  • @algomez8563
    @algomez8563 วันที่ผ่านมา

    My country is too hot to were a suit, 40 degrees C

    • @MrSteve_Luddite.
      @MrSteve_Luddite. วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Linen.

    • @the_gentleman_04
      @the_gentleman_04 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Even if you would consider a full linen suit still hot you can always just wear linen shirts and dress pants with moccasins

    • @beholder2012
      @beholder2012 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@MrSteve_Luddite. …and panama on the head.

  • @vhaleryanadamant1975
    @vhaleryanadamant1975 19 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    Yeah there is one thing to dress well for this time and age and another thing to do some cringe peaky blinders cosplay

  • @steve3131
    @steve3131 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Men are seen as utilitarian but ugly. Fussing about clothes or personal appearance merely invites ridicule.

    • @AllureSecretary
      @AllureSecretary  วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      It’s a shame that taking pride in one’s appearance is so often misunderstood, elegance is about self-respect, not vanity. Let’s change that perception!

    • @steve3131
      @steve3131 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      @@AllureSecretary To large extent you're right, especially in a society in which so many people of both sexes are all tatted up, grossly overweight and out of shape and dressed like slobs. But the fact remains that men invite ridicule by engaging in behavior that suggests they're trying to look good, because women think any display of pride in appearance by men is disgusting and ludicrous. At best, if a man tries to improve his appearance, people (especially women) will say, "that looks gay!"

  • @thiagobernard5770
    @thiagobernard5770 15 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +2

    I'm a psychologist and also studies men's fashion. Simply everything in this video is a lie. You're blaming straight men's lack of style and elegance on the concept that people judge "traditional" men. Are you blaming the LGBT community because you don't know how to dress? Why so much insecurity? Can't you just wear what you want? all male insecurity lies in the dated concept of masculinity intertwined with purchasing power

    • @AllureSecretary
      @AllureSecretary  14 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +2

      Your credentials are impressive, but they don't shield your argument from scrutiny. The video doesn’t blame anyone, it dissects societal pressures, including "modern outdated" norms, that shape men’s choices. Insecurity isn’t about labels; it’s about the courage to question assumptions, including the ones you’ve just made.

    • @jose91807
      @jose91807 9 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      wtf

    • @Nightdiver20
      @Nightdiver20 7 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      This is precisely the nonsensical word salad I would expect from a psychologist

    • @McCarthy1776
      @McCarthy1776 3 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      Plus traditionally most men wore casual clothes throughout the day except for the wealthy. And obsessing over fashion is traditionally and biologically feminine.
      The problem with these Sigma people is they are taking trad conservative counter culture and infusing it with autism and exaggerating everything. Like sure trying to dress a little nicer and more esthetically is a positive thing but 3 piece fitted suits or trench coats and fedoras going to Walmart is 100% straight autistic virgin LARPer

  • @Masato938
    @Masato938 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Apparently the author associates 'elegance' with masculinity and standing out; where does she or he get the presumptions from? The conception of 'elegance' is very unclear in this video I think.

  • @HECATESHINO-yc9kf
    @HECATESHINO-yc9kf 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    I am only at 9:11 minutes and I see so many wrongs with this video.
    At this point, this is just SIGMA Delululu

    • @AllureSecretary
      @AllureSecretary  2 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

      I appreciate you taking the time to watch and share your thoughts. I’d genuinely like to understand your perspective. what specifically stood out as 'wrong' to you? My goal with this video was to explore the barriers men face when dressing elegantly, but I’m always open to other viewpoints. As for the 'SIGMA' comment, I’d love for you to elaborate. It sounds like there’s something deeper you’re picking up on, and I’m curious to hear your take. After all, every critique is a chance to refine and improve. Thanks for engaging!

  • @calleX
    @calleX 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Its' money that is holding us back, not fear.

    • @bertholdbach4959
      @bertholdbach4959 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Dressing well is expensive.

    • @MichaelKabulu-xk7qf
      @MichaelKabulu-xk7qf วันที่ผ่านมา

      Facts😅

    • @Ticklethapicklealil
      @Ticklethapicklealil วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Money isn’t an issue if you got style - Can’t buy class gentlemen.
      Anyone can start anytime!

    • @calleX
      @calleX วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      @@Ticklethapicklealil High quality, well fitting clothes aren't exactly cheap. I buy everything at 50-70% discount but my wardrobe probably costs more than 90% of men anyway. Lets not even get started on shoes.

    • @MrSteve_Luddite.
      @MrSteve_Luddite. วันที่ผ่านมา

      ​@@calleXeBay ?

  • @jmz2154
    @jmz2154 23 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    i'd rather wear a suit everyday than those stupid saggy pants

  • @jupamoers
    @jupamoers วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    What holds people back from dressing elegant? Missing money... bespoke suits are really expensive 💸 and most elegant men say, to not get suits off the rack

    • @arty_lerry7730
      @arty_lerry7730 วันที่ผ่านมา

      You can still get off the rack and bring to tailor.

    • @beholder2012
      @beholder2012 วันที่ผ่านมา

      You seem to look for excuses. 😂 I assure you, the tailor isn't that mandatory to look good.

    • @jupamoers
      @jupamoers 7 นาทีที่ผ่านมา

      @@arty_lerry7730 even a tailor can be expensive

  • @2_faboo
    @2_faboo 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +7

    Nice try A.I 🩵

    • @AllureSecretary
      @AllureSecretary  2 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Lol! Caught me! 🤖«bip-bip» Thanks for watching though, human. «bip-bip🩵