Man, lack of sleep and postpartum depression go hand in hand. My quality of life and mental health improved drastically when I started getting more sleep.
Thank you for saying this! Currently a 31 week FTM and watching as many videos and reading as much as I can to understand the whole sleep training process. Your comment helped me to remember how important it is not just for the baby but for mom and dad as well. The mental health of mom and dad are equally important (possibly minimally more) than the infants sleep if lack of mental health and quality of life means parents can’t care for the new baby! Helps me to remember that I won’t be a “bad mom” if I am lovingly strict on sleep training 🥰
Man, lack of sleep and postpartum depression go hand in hand. My quality of life and mental health improved drastically when I started getting more sleep.
I dont know how anyone can have depression postpartum. I was so INCREDIBLY relieved to have the baby out of me, to have my own body back, to not have my energy being drained from the inside that a little lack of sleep was not gonna bother me
@@adararelgnel2695 that's a pretty ignorant comment. A lot of people get postpartum depression. Your experience isn't everyone's experience and believe me, no one WANTS to be depressed. It just happens.
As a mom of four I’m so impressed with how knowledgeable you are Bridget! My fist time around I wish I’d known all you do-- I can personally vouch for the method she explains it’s exactly what I did with my first after 10 months of absolutely no sleep. It worked so well shes 4 years old now and STILL sleeps all night without waking and takes a 2 hr nap daily! With my twins I did the same thing but way earlier and all of my kids sleep in their beds on their own confident and well rested. I don’t regret it at all it took my 1st literally a day to figure it out and she slept through the night. I had terrible postpartum depression bc I didn’t sleep at all for 10 months. This video is so great for new moms
This is so helpful coming from a mom of 4 with experience! Thanks for sharing! Question-how did sleep training go for your first born when you sleep trained your second? I sleep trained my first after 8 months of not sleeping and now she sleeps so great, but I’m starting to sleep train my second and worry his crying will wake her up. How did you deal with that anxiety?
Go to your baby when they cry. 1 week, 1 month, 1 year. You and your touch are just as important as any other need. They’re only babies once. I look at my 12 year old who is smart, independent, and so mature for her age. Not once do I think “I held her too much” or “I wish I would have let her ‘cry it out’ instead of tending to her needs at night.”
@@nikokovac7423 I don't think you know how social media and public forums work. When someone posts something publicly anyone is able to voice their opinion. No one needs to be asked. With your logic you shouldn't have responded.
Yesss Momma exactly, being a parent is hard but I will not once put my needs before my child’s needs for comfort and security in this new world for them they need us and that’s why I will always answer every call and nurture my child, CIO is such a sad thing makes my heart break for those little babies crying alone wanting comfort and their parents just ignoring 😭
6 months into motherhood I was so tired, stressed out. My LO only napped for 20 min after hours of soothing. He didn’t like the stroller, he didn’t like the crib, the swings, nothing really worked. I did the sleep training to save myself (I was exhausted, looked awful - like an old lady or a zombie, depressed and not enjoying myself, my baby and life) and I am so happy I did it! My husband is also very proud and thankful that I had the guts to do it. Now my kid is 4yo, sleeps in his own room since he was 6mo. And he is a happy and a smart kid.
@@fathimashoppingpalace3293 I used the Ferber method, read the book, even though it is now often criticized by sleep specialists. But it worked so well for me and the baby was absolutely fine and happy after being able to sleep for longer and after 1 week through the night. It’s important to feel that you and your baby are ready for that.
Both my babies liked to fall asleep at the breast, so I would wake them a little before putting them down (kissing them, playing with their feet). Being a bit “milk drunk” helped them get right back asleep, but they were able to fall asleep on their own. The next trick was to use a white noise machine. Initially I would sit next to their crib so that they could see me, but the white noise was what made them drop off to sleep. If they got upset I would just reach in and stroke them (but not pick them up) until they settled again. If you sit just above their eye line it really helps, as it’s hard to maintain that gaze for very long, so you tend to close your eyes. Relatively soon after using this technique I was able to leave as soon as their eyes started to flicker, so they didn’t wake to find me suddenly gone.
6:43 minute mark, "Most pediatricians agree that letting your baby cry for 30 minutes or even an hour is not going to hurt them." It's really irrelevant what pediatricians assume on this matter of crying it out. Medical doctors, including pediatricians, have little training in the area of emotional development and proper parent-child attachment. If parents want to let their babies cry alone for 30 to 60 minutes, that's on them, but let's not pretend that because a pediatrician says it's okay, that they actually know what they are talking about.
As a mom of 3 I approve this message. Sleep training is necessary for your sanity. Without fail moms I know who do not sleep train cannot get their child to sleep easily later on in life. It’s something we are responsible for teaching them. This is exactly how I did it. Consistency is key!
Yeees ❤ that’s why I disagree with contact naps all the time or rocking the baby every single time to sleep. I usually don’t rock my baby and he sleeps just fine. I give him lots of love and cuddles all day long but I try to encourage him to be able to sleep independently.
Thanks!! My husband and I have a 4 day old and we are looking into this. My sister-in-law sleep trained their son (he's 2 now) and he sleeps wonderfully.
Hearing someone who tends to the more natural side of things support sleep training and a little crying (once out of the newborn stage) has helped my heart SO MUCH with this decision. I felt so guilty considering the CIO with my daughter after trying so many things to failure and now I’m confident in going for it. Thank you Bridget ❤️
ur videos on labour management is awesome. I followed ur breathing techniques. I literally felt less pain. There was only 10 mins of unbearable pain and I delivered within 2 pushes. I sincerely followed ur breath technique. I can’t thank u enough
My mom let me CIO all night back in the day (apparently it was common) and I can still remember how traumatizing it was (I have dreams about it). I grew up feeling neglected as a child bc of it as well. I am very close to my mom and she is amazing, but I carried the issue with me until adulthood. For me, I’ll do the gentle sleep training. I did it with my first son.
Finally decided after a long and exhausting year to sleep train my daughter. She’s 20 months old now, and I believe it was the BEST decision I could have made for my sanity, for my daughter to get better sleep, and for my marriage.
@@riyamahmed4921 she sleeps a lot better now in her crib, sleeps through the night. She cried for a couple minutes but she now sucks her thumb and loves sleeping on her belly. Falls right to sleep. But every baby is different.
I’m a mother of one at 17 years old when he was born it took him abt 3-4 weeks he slept through the entire night in a bassinet after I split w his dad I moved and he slept w me at all times he is now one year old and I’m just starting sleep training as well as training him to a crib and while it’s difficult I really find some of these tips more helpful along w other TH-cam videos
You are such an amazing giver. I found your videos so helpful. And i am glad i found ur videos even though it was my last week of gestation. I gave birth and now my newborn is here by the grace of Almighty. So following u for the newborn care advices. Keep spreading such knowledge and love of birth. You are just amazing Bridget!! ♡
I have a new born 2 weeks old and a almost 5 years old, I’m literally loosing it through the middle of the night feelings. I’m glad about what you say about the newborns 🎈
The early weeks are really challenging, but stick it out! They don't last forever... soon you'll be getting so much more sleep! Try to make sure Baby is eating frequently and plenty during the day so they're not trying to get the majority of their calories during the night feedings.
My baby is 5 weeks old and stayed up all night. Like she woke every hour. My eyes burn so bad. I’m gonna try to keep her up more with her wake times 🥺😩🥲
Under 4 months I tried to let my baby sleep independently, but close to me. I had a bassinet bumper I didn't want to use in the bassinet (my MIL gave it to us and she's from a different era), so I set it up on the sofa so he had a dedicated sleep space. I was there to reach over to rub his belly and comfort him and respond to him during naps, and then at night we did something similar, but with the bassinet next to the bed. At about 5 months he started getting onto a more predictable sleep schedule, so we started a sort of "lite" version of sleep training during naps and got him used to falling asleep on his own while it wasn't completely dark and we were very responsive at first. Over time we slowly worked on reducing our response time and over time he just started falling asleep independently. A HUGE part of making the transition to sleeping independently was having a predicable night routine. We just moved him into his own room at 7 months and as long as we get him to sleep before he's over-tired, he'll roll over and fall asleep before we have a chance to even walk out the door. So, not that I'm an expert, but I would highly recommend doing it a little at a time instead of all at once. It took 3 nights to successfully sleep train him at night once we were ready to officially start. And he gets LOTS of snuggles, so he actually looks forward to being put down and rest.
This came at just the right time! I think my daughter is either teething or going through 4 month sleep regression or possibly both! Last few nights have been terrible! Thanks so much Bridget!
I just put my baby in his bed by himself for the first time ever. He is 5 mo ths and has nursed to sleep but its exhausting and sometimes he won't actually fall asleep with me. He pulls away from the breast and just seems really restless. So I found this video and watched it while he cried in his bed (let me tell you that was the hardest 5 min since he's been born) but after 5 min he was asleep! And it wasn't a screaming cry, it was a whiny cry. I'm glad he fell asleep so quickly because 1. I wanted to rescue him and 2. He was so exhausted but wouldn't go to sleep so I just had to let him cry it out and fall asleep.... I'm going to keep try this but my husband is totally against him crying it out and I'm not sure how things will go tonight when hubby is home.
Me too, we altérnate shifts and I was trying to let him cry for just a bit because I needed the break, it was going to be no more than 5 minutes, but he came in the door at 3 am and told me, “ I’m watching you letting him cry, that type of bull is that, he grabbed him and was soothing him, it was cute but he can’t understand that it is okay from time to time to take 5 min to breath
Love your teaching method! Thank you for this video i cannot afford the taking cara babies class and this was so helpful..also thank you for teaching me how to breathe during a contraction to get the best results from our surges
The principles that she spoke of, you can read more about in the book called babywise. That way you get the whole pic of what she is saying which was good. I tried babywise when my baby was two months olds and by around 2 months and a half my baby started sleeping through the night and also had great nap times.
I love your videos and found some of them really helpful and empowering during my pregnancy, so thank you for that 😊 im concerned that some very tired and new mummas will see this video and think that they *need* to sleep train their baby. Sleep is developmental and babies will get there + there are things you can do to help your baby with sleep that don't involve leaving them to cry. I just want to put that out there so people watching this know there is an option and you don't have to sleep train if it doesn't sit well with you x
I want to discuss sleep and general “transitioning” for my second baby coming in the fall. With my 1st, I coslept and breastfed for 2 years. I liked having her near me because I wanted to encourage that instinct and bonding especially after she was literally part of my body for 9 months... However, I struggled with knowing when to “transition” to the next phase and I found each transition was SO agonizing for all of us. Examples: > when to transition from being with mom (co-sleeping or bassinet for example), to say a CRIB + if baby is right next to mom in whatever capacity and they dry or wake are you grab right away or put arm on them right away doesn’t this make them dependent on you for that instant response (not saying it’s bad) just posing question of - does it make that later transition of them self soothing etc more difficult when you suddenly aren’t responding and what does this all look like. I mean at 3am I wasn’t into letting my 1st scream and scream when she woke so that my hard working husband would then also wake up. > when and HOW to cut off night BREASTMILK so that it’s easier and HOW/ what to do to get them to sleep and no longer be dependent on those night feedings? I felt like there was yelling and arguing because my 1st was a toddler when I finally took the milk away at night(2yrs). I couldn’t handle not getting any sleep after 2 years of giving my first my all. 🥹 Things I have been told so far: > I have learned/heard that not letting a baby fall asleep ON you if you’re breastfeeding so they don’t associate “I only sleep if I am on mommy” is a good place to start > putting them in a crib when they are tired but not yet asleep so they “fall” asleep in their physical space (crib) > that using crib for naps right away when they are a newborn will more easily develop the habit as opposed to car sleeping more than a crib or a side sleeper more than a crib.. > keeping a lot of noise so they can sleep deep in noise as opposed to being a 👻 when they are asleep. My first is such a light sleeper and we never made a peep! Sorry this is long winded. I don’t even know what my exact questions are. I just need a better flow and plan to be confident in this second time around that May have worked for several others. So please help! I am more open minded than I used to be! Any little nuance you can share I’d love to hear!!
Saving this video. My little will be 4 months in about 2 weeks and I’m definitely ready to teach her how to independently sleep. I’m very encouraged to know though that cuddling for a nap or 2 won’t derail the process. My babe is way too snuggly 😂
Bridget always coming in clutch with answers to all of my pregnancy and parenting questions ❤️ My husband and I NEED to get baby on a better schedule. Hoping to try this soon, maybe after Christmas when things calm down a bit!
I'm trying to prepare for my upcoming 2nd daughter. I'm a little confused regarding the advice to set a timer to go back in after 10,15 minutes etc. Isnt that indirectly teaching them that if they just cry for 10 minutes a parent will come in and comfort them? Then isnt extending that window just training them that if they stay awake crying for longer theyll get a parent to come in? It was a mixed bag sleep training my first, so I'm trying to strategize a little more thoroughly this time. Love the channel, and appreciate the help.
Thank you so much for all your videos!! I followed your videos through my pregnancy and they were so helpful. Now baby Adam is here and he’s only two weeks. Still soaking in all the info you provide to make sure I can be a great mommy. Thank you for all the grateful tips!
Hello, I encountered the problem of my child not sleeping at night and I found the solution on this website: ipresto-home.blogspot.com/ and also I wrote to them on this email: amleur_14@outlook.com
Hi Bridget, i just recently found your videos and im still catching up, I have 7 weeks left until my baby girl is due and your videos are so reassuring and informative ❤️
My husband and I have taken wakeful shifts over night since my little boy was born, he had bad reflux due to a severe tongue tie and felt uncomfortable on his back. I tried the Ferber method at 9 months, he screamed for 20 mins, and my husband and I could not cope with seeing him cry so much so stopped sleep training. He’s just turned one and we are still taking shifts, however he wakes early crawls off me and sleeps on his own on the couch for a short time. I’m always watching him so he’s safe. He will get there in his own time and I’m happy he’s happy.
Thank you for your videos. As a man I have also learned a lot from your videos during pregnancy. In our case postpartum was harder than pregnancy and labor. Our son can sleep during night 5-6 hrs and during the day only 1-2 hrs. He is 7 weeks.
Mothers, go with your instinct. If it feels incorrect to let your baby cry it out, even for a little, don’t override your instincts bc of what “experts” say. You are your baby’s expert.
Exactly my thought... there is a reason mamas feel stressed when the baby is crying. Besides humans are the only who ever would consider to let their baby cry
Can you make a “third trimester suggestions” video? Like exercises, things to do to prepare mind/body, etc. I’m 31 weeks pregnant with my first baby and I’m curious what suggestions you may have :)
Bed sharing is the only reason I get any sleep. I have a 6 week old and have not dealt with sleep deprivation. Babe just latches on the boob throughout the night when he’s hungry.
My baby is 9 months old. I nurse her to sleep in the night. During the day I put her in her bed for naps without nursing. It works surprisingly well, just doesn't translate to nighttime's . She wakes up 3-4 times in the night and wants to be breastfed to sleep. She has a healthy weight and eats a lot throughout the day. They say you shouldn't sleep train the baby if they are ill or teething...well, she was teething the past 4 months and has 10 teeth now. I've just started sleep training her and now she's got a cold so I'm back to nursing her in the night. While sleeptraining, I never let her cry alone in a room. That's just way too brutal for me. And she would never calm down like this. She'd become hysterical and almost impossible to calm down when I'd get back. I always stay there with her and have my hand on her breast while she's in her bed trying to fall asleep. At least I'm not breastfeeding her, right? I try to do it step by step: now my goal is to separate breastfeeding from falling asleep. Imagine being so small and dependent on your mommy and she just takes off and leaves you alone in the darkness. It must be traumatising. She's barely consolable if I stay in the room, stroke her and do a shushing sound. It's hard to hear her cry and not pick her up. I use earplugs sometimes but i stay there with her. I'm aware that it will take much much longer for her to sleep through the night like this, and I am super tired (I work and have two other kids) but I just can't do it cold turkey. I know that we'll eventually get there. My other kids started sleeping through the night at around 13 month mark.
I know this video is targeting moms, but dad here and I appreciate your video! I'm the one who puts my daughter to sleep at night and deal with 90% of the late-night crying. Mom is out of shape so holding the baby is really painful for her, and the only other way baby goes to sleep right now is if someone is petting her, but our crib is really low (she's almost a year old), so mom can't easily reach her. This puts most of the late-night baby activities on me and has now for several months and I'm EXHAUSTED. So I'm eager to get this baby sleep trained so 1. it's easier to put her down at night (because even though petting her is effective, it can still take me 15-20 minutes (40 minutes in extreme cases) before I can leave the room and go to bed myself. Thank you! A question I have: What's the upper-limit of increasing the wait timer before going back into the room? Is it an hour? I suspect my kid won't stay down after the first few iterations.
We have 1 difficult child who just would not fall asleep but when he did he wouldn't stay asleep.We tried different things but we found what helped him was music. My husband is a musician so he played music for him that he recorded & he would nod off within 20 minutes.We this was like for a year but we were thankful we found a solution. But keeping him to sleep started becoming an issue. We then uploaded the songs he would fall asleep to on TH-cam and we play through the night to keep him asleep.We made a channel with these songs that would hopefully help others the same way it helped us.
Good tips, especially on wake times! Though I would like to highlight that using a pacifier to fall asleep is still using a sleep aid (i.e. not independent sleep), where the baby might wake up if the pacifier drops off and he/she is not able to fall back asleep by him/herself without someone putting the pacifier back.
Hello, I encountered the problem of my child not sleeping at night and I found the solution on this website: ipresto-home.blogspot.com/ and also I wrote to them on this email: amleur_14@outlook.com
100% not leaving my 4 month old to cry like that. Personally I don’t think it’s okay to leave any baby to cry for an hour!!?? They are not neurologically developed enough to ‘self soothe’ at that age! They will stop crying because they get tired out and/or learn that it’s pointless. The thought of this makes me so sad
Agree, there’s some interesting research showing elevated cortisol levels (indicating stress) in babies left to cry it out. It appears this can actually “program” their nervous systems to a higher state of stress for their whole lives. All babies know at 4 months is that they have a need, they are dependant on a caregiver to meet that need, and when they try to communicate about that need, their caregiver doesn’t respond. So the world becomes a scary place and they give up trying to communicate. So sad.
Love this video with some great tips to help parents get their little one's sleeping well. Starting sleep training when you're READY is so so important as consistency and following through will make the process so much easier. Thanks so much for sharing!
The problem with the sentence „your baby won’t be mad at you in the morning after you let them cry at night” is that even seriously abused children won’t be mad at their parents. Because an anxious child can’t afford to be mad. They just learn how to shut up if they want any love. So because you can’t ask a baby what it feels like to be left in a room crying for 5 minutes, let alone for 1 hour, you don’t know if they might feel panic during that time. And in case they feel panic it basically doesn’t matter if they feel loved during the day because they learn that nobody is there when they panic at night. That feels horrific to me.
This is actually 100% correct. It hurts their attachment. Babies have NO concept of time, so when you leave it isn’t 5minutes to them. It’s forever…. Orphan babies don’t cry, because they learn it doesn’t work… I suggest just having a routine to help a baby, but never let them cry it out.
Former cosleeping, no cry mom. I couldn't do it anymore, or with multiple young kids. I was exhausted and depressed and my children weren't getting quality sleep. One thing to think about: The danger of sleep training has not been proven. But the danger of sleep deprivation and poor sleep hygiene has been proven time and again, and it's EVERYONE suffering that. I'm willing to have a limited number of nights where my baby is crying alone for set amounts of time between my soothing and resettling so that every other night they can utilize those skills calmly and peacefully, after a day of snuggles and playing and kisses and reassurance of my love. I think it should be called sleep learning, not sleep training. My kids cry when they learn anything new and difficult. Similar to dressing themselves, I can provide support, but I can't do it for them.
OH i love this! Found your Chanel while pregnant with my 3 rd baby (now 4 weeks old) Love your Chanel. ❤️. Beeing confident and trusting your childs ability to fall asleep is the biggest pice of this. I have gently sleep trained two kids and it is amazing! good sleep is so important for development and psykological helth i prioritize this.
I will definitely start the sleep training, but the only thing is that my baby sleeps in the same room… but definitely will try. I really want him to get better sleep and me as well…
Sleep is so valuable!!! I have a 2 week old and trying to get him to sleep albeit he is very young I would love for him to sleep at least 6 hours a night
What’s the plan for when baby wakes during the night? We’ve a 5 month old and I get this training method for getting him down to sleep initially, but he sleeps in the same room as us. When he wakes during the night are we supposed to leave the room for 5, 10 minutes etc.?
I have honestly been informally been sleep training my daughter since she was very young (A few weeks old) she would always wake up after I fed her even in the middle of the night. (I have never let her cry in her bed though) she is just 3 months now. I have been lying her in her bed and just laying down beside it and soothing her as needed (usually just helping her with her passie). I'm hoping this helps with her sleep as she gets older!
Im not a parent yet but I do want kids in about a year or so. To start at least. So Ive been doing my research on all sorts of things. I do have an almost 5 year old step son but he still sleeps in bed with my bf (we dont live together yet). I dont think that I would ever do that. Sleep training does seem to work for some people and some people also disagree. Im not sure yet what i’ll do but I love the idea of babies finding ways to self soothe and be independent. And i think its great when children can sleep in their own rooms and being secure that mommy and daddy will be a room away if they need anything. But its hard bc my bf wants our babies to sleep in bed with us. I guess we’ll see what happens. We have to compromise somewhere in the middle. I just dont want my kids to be too co dependent, more so as children.
I think you should do some more research about this. I love all your other videos about birth, but as a mum of 4 I’ve really evolved. I did sleep training with my first but none of the others. You can get them to sleep without crying. Have a look into the Beyond Sleep Training Project.
@@averyl268Exactly, she’s in no way suggesting that you should let your baby/ toddler cry for an hour straight that’s why she’s saying that going in their bedroom periodically to soothe them and help calm them down and let them know you’re there is so very crucial as well.
I was 100% ready everytime I attempted to teach my baby to self soothe, but 2 hours of on and off crying, and 40 minutes non stop crying, has be quitting everytime....4 months of little to no sleep is taking a toll on me...I feel like I'm living life in a blur....
Also I’m so upset at all the “don’t do this” or “you have to do this” and sleep training is a huge debate. I’m so happy she isn’t like This. It was so relieving to here her say “if you want your baby to sleep on you, don’t hold back” because so many articles say to not do that. But like I love when my baby sleeps on me. It’s so heart warming and I only have it once with her. I don’t want to feel guilty when she does or when she sleeps in someone elses arms.
I wish so badly that your product recommendations were more easily accessible in Canada!!! I love your videos so much but like 70% of the products you recommend on your channel aren’t available in Canada :(
Your advice helped me so much during my labour, I came right back to you for sleep training advice.... you are making a difference! Thank you for sharing this information with us
My baby girl is 5 months old n its really difficult to put her down for the night. She sleeps well st night. But no naps from afternoon till late evening. sometimes im exhausted bcoz that but ignores as she sleeps well st night. Should i sleep train her for naps too???
I am delivering my 4th child in 6 weeks and i feel so much more prepared this time around because of the advice you have given. Even though i am alone and my husband works out of state i know if i use those techniques instead of screaming and crying and freaking out...i will rock this L nD!!
Thank you for this video. It is very clear. I would like to know what to do if your baby wakes up earlier than what the schedule says and starts crying. Do you pick them from the cot or go, try to help then sleep again, or leave them there until their waking up time? Also, I would like to know what to do if they fall asleep on the pram or the baby carrier right before nap time. When that happens, I go back home ASAP. But does that sleep count as part of their nap? And, finally, even though my baby is already 5months old, she wakes up 2 or 3 times at night to eat. And it is to eat, it is not because she can't sleep. I don't understand why that happens, as she eats quite well during the day. Thanks a lot.
Great video! My wife and I are trying to sleep train our baby and this is so helpful! Also great engagement… i usually watch personal finance videos but yours was great!!
Hi Bridget, how do you sleep train your baby when he has the habit of falling asleep on the breast? I breastfeed him also 2-3 times in the night, sometimes even 4 times, in a 10-12 hour long sleep and he is now 6 months old. Thank you :-)
I’m in the exact same boat! Would love to know any advice. I can’t let her just scream and cry for me when she’s so used to having me throughout the night. Breaks my heart.
@@KateetMaddi The thing is he can only fall asleep on my breast so when i feed him at night i have to wait until he is asleep to put him down otherwise he will cry and i can start all over again
@@danielareynoso.r mine is now 7 months and he still nurses every couple hours sometimes every hour ☹️! I cant seem to break the cycle. Its or letting him cry or giving the boob. I opt for the second one. But im exhausted all the time.
Hey Bridget, you're simply awesome 💓 So my baby and I are not there yet, he's almost 4 weeks old and going through the 3 weeks growth spurt so he's nursing a LOT and cries out loud quickly when he wants to eat. I feel exhausted at times but can't always manage to eat something/use the bathroom/take a shower. You said we can't spoil too much a newborn.. but is it okay to let him cry a little while I do one of these basic needs ? Any alternative ?
Hello, I encountered the problem of my child not sleeping at night and I found the solution on this website: ipresto-home.blogspot.com/ and also I wrote to them on this email: amleur_14@outlook.com
Bridget also recommends babywearing. My 4 week old spends a good chunk of time with me in a wrap carrier. I can go to the kitchen to eat, use the bathroom, move laundry etc and he can even take his naps. As Bridget mentions in her video on babywearing, studies show babies who have lots of close physical contact have lower stress levels, cry less, and sleep better at night. Obviously I cant wear the baby in the shower, but just having him on me a good part of the day means he is less upset if I do have to put him down.
Hei. Thanks for this video. I want to start sleep training. I have a question maybe you can help. How about the daily sleep/Lunch nap? Same process? Cry it out?
Hey guys - how does this work during the day when it’s time to put our baby down for naps? Do we follow the same routine for the evening (where we put them down awake) or is it ok to hold them for nap time during the day? Please advise.
My daughter was really colicky. I sleep trained her at 10 months and it worked amazingly. But before that, it was HELL on earth. She would not stop crying unless I had her in my arms, if I let her she would go hours crying. By 10 months she was able to stop crying after 20 or 30 mins, and I would always come in every 10 minutes to soothe if she was still crying. I rarely had to come in more than twice though.
I feel like from watching a friend struggle who let all her kids sleep with her in bed from the start (and the oldest is 5 and they all still do) she can't get them to go sleep in their own rooms now, they never want to nap or sleep alone which would let her clean or do things alone, and she can't get any good sleep. The kids see her as their only comfort, so they can't sleep without her. And while that's a great sentiment, it's just not very practical and I think can make you more prone to bad moods or even ppd. So I am trying to research sleep training as the alternative to start!
I sadly have to go back to work this Monday and I really would appreciate if you could make a video guiding me through a good schedule to get a four month old out the house to grandmas at 6:30 in the morning 🥺
Dress them in the days outfit the night before and have their bag fully packed with everything they'll need so all you need to do is change nappy in morning and get yourself ready to go .
When my girlfriend starts to cry I put her in a dark isolated setting, preferably in a cage she can't escape from. She crys hysterically but eventually she teaches herself to "self-soothe" and falls asleep. This method has worked great for me as it allows me to get my much needed rest!
I assume your girlfriend cries for reasons that are more serious than a well taken care of five month old baby might have. At least I hope so. Otherwise she just might need some self soothing techniques in her arsenal. That being said, I do get your point. But I hardly think this video is condoning abandoning your child when they're in real distress.
Babies lack object permanence, so when you leave the room they don't understand that you're still near by. They also have no understanding of time, so 5 minutes when they're upset feels like a long time. Letting them cry also teaches them that you aren't listening when they try to communicate. This could lead to a louder more anxious baby or a baby who only cried when desperate. Also, letting them cry while you're in the other room means you might be missing vital cues that they need something. Studies also show that CIO causes trauma, leading to worse brain devolpment and cognition. It's important to know cortisol, the main stress hormone is bad for the hippocampus, which can lead to memory problems if you are chronically exposed to high levels of cortisol. I grew up in an abusive environment and have very poor memory because of that stress Modern medicine also recommends against sleep training infants of any age because it can cause them to go hungry, as their stomaches don't hold that much when they're little so they process it much faster. I enjoyed many of the videos on this channel before but not I find myself skeptical. I have severe postpartum depression & struggle with insomnia so I am sleep deprived to the point it is definitely feeding back into the postpartum depression, but I know that it is way better for my baby to have a lethargic and depressed mother than an absent one and an empty tummy.
Hi Bridget, I love your videos and am learning so much! I just have a question about day time naps. When you sleep train, do you also do the same routine for day time naps? For example put a sleep sack on, use the white noise machine and make a dark room? And then for night time add an extra step e.g. bath time and book reading time to show them that it is night time and that means a longer sleep is required?
@@BridgetTeyler thank you for your reply 😊 I was concerned that if the same sleep routines were used for both day and night, babies could get confused and either sleep too long during the day or not long enough during the night!
How do you get your baby used to take naps/sleep on the right times but to be flexible on where they sleep? So for example, if you are on vacation, babies are okay with sleeping in a different crib
Having multiple bassinets has been key for us. And using fans. Our baby loves to sleep in his bassinet in daddy's office with 3 fans on lol. If all else fails that's where we put him
In orphanage the babies are taught to sleep alone, also u can watch latest hitman movie to see how are those people train. That's why here in the west everyone is superficial, no emotions, more robotic attitude, 40% divorced single mothers everywhere, no feelings no connections you kill all of that by sending the baby to sleep alone. How u gonna expect to love u and need you when that baby is adult and train that u won't be there when he or she cry or need you. That baby didn't ask to come and be in this world if you can't handle or have time and space in your bed you should not make babies, after 3-4 years babies can start go to sleep alone
My daughter used to be great going to sleep on her own. Now she is 4 months old and going through sleep regression. She is wide awake during the day and very active and would not sleep for more than 30 minutes. At night she wakes up more often. Is it ok start sleep training in a couple of weeks when this period passes?
So I’m watching this because I have been planning baby #2 and keep hesitating because I’m scared of the horrible nights of constant crying from baby and me haha. My first didn’t sleep through the night until she was 10 months old! And even then she woke up some times. So with baby #2, I’m going to sleep train from the beginning since I never sleep trained our first
Probably still has his day and night mixed up. During the day try to keep windows open and noise going on. Try to keep him awake before, during, and after feeding a little longer during the day too. And make a night routine if possible that baby can get used to. Blessings!
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Man, lack of sleep and postpartum depression go hand in hand. My quality of life and mental health improved drastically when I started getting more sleep.
Thank you for saying this! Currently a 31 week FTM and watching as many videos and reading as much as I can to understand the whole sleep training process. Your comment helped me to remember how important it is not just for the baby but for mom and dad as well. The mental health of mom and dad are equally important (possibly minimally more) than the infants sleep if lack of mental health and quality of life means parents can’t care for the new baby! Helps me to remember that I won’t be a “bad mom” if I am lovingly strict on sleep training 🥰
This is so true.
Man, lack of sleep and postpartum depression go hand in hand. My quality of life and mental health improved drastically when I started getting more sleep.
I dont know how anyone can have depression postpartum. I was so INCREDIBLY relieved to have the baby out of me, to have my own body back, to not have my energy being drained from the inside that a little lack of sleep was not gonna bother me
@@adararelgnel2695 that's a pretty ignorant comment. A lot of people get postpartum depression. Your experience isn't everyone's experience and believe me, no one WANTS to be depressed. It just happens.
As a mom of four I’m so impressed with how knowledgeable you are Bridget! My fist time around I wish I’d known all you do-- I can personally vouch for the method she explains it’s exactly what I did with my first after 10 months of absolutely no sleep. It worked so well shes 4 years old now and STILL sleeps all night without waking and takes a 2 hr nap daily! With my twins I did the same thing but way earlier and all of my kids sleep in their beds on their own confident and well rested. I don’t regret it at all it took my 1st literally a day to figure it out and she slept through the night. I had terrible postpartum depression bc I didn’t sleep at all for 10 months. This video is so great for new moms
This is so helpful coming from a mom of 4 with experience! Thanks for sharing! Question-how did sleep training go for your first born when you sleep trained your second? I sleep trained my first after 8 months of not sleeping and now she sleeps so great, but I’m starting to sleep train my second and worry his crying will wake her up. How did you deal with that anxiety?
I have twins and I’m STRUGGLING. they are 7 months old. I just sleep 😭
can you share what you did or how did you sleep train?
Go to your baby when they cry. 1 week, 1 month, 1 year. You and your touch are just as important as any other need. They’re only babies once. I look at my 12 year old who is smart, independent, and so mature for her age. Not once do I think “I held her too much” or “I wish I would have let her ‘cry it out’ instead of tending to her needs at night.”
That's great that's what you did with your children. We're all entitled to raise our children differently.
@@maja_basford Who asked you anything?
@@nikokovac7423 I don't think you know how social media and public forums work. When someone posts something publicly anyone is able to voice their opinion. No one needs to be asked. With your logic you shouldn't have responded.
@@nikokovac7423 who asked you for your reaction?
Yesss Momma exactly, being a parent is hard but I will not once put my needs before my child’s needs for comfort and security in this new world for them they need us and that’s why I will always answer every call and nurture my child, CIO is such a sad thing makes my heart break for those little babies crying alone wanting comfort and their parents just ignoring 😭
6 months into motherhood I was so tired, stressed out. My LO only napped for 20 min after hours of soothing. He didn’t like the stroller, he didn’t like the crib, the swings, nothing really worked. I did the sleep training to save myself (I was exhausted, looked awful - like an old lady or a zombie, depressed and not enjoying myself, my baby and life)
and I am so happy I did it! My husband is also very proud and thankful that I had the guts to do it. Now my kid is 4yo, sleeps in his own room since he was 6mo. And he is a happy and a smart kid.
How did you train Ur baby
@@fathimashoppingpalace3293 I used the Ferber method, read the book, even though it is now often criticized by sleep specialists. But it worked so well for me and the baby was absolutely fine and happy after being able to sleep for longer and after 1 week through the night.
It’s important to feel that you and your baby are ready for that.
Both my babies liked to fall asleep at the breast, so I would wake them a little before putting them down (kissing them, playing with their feet). Being a bit “milk drunk” helped them get right back asleep, but they were able to fall asleep on their own.
The next trick was to use a white noise machine. Initially I would sit next to their crib so that they could see me, but the white noise was what made them drop off to sleep. If they got upset I would just reach in and stroke them (but not pick them up) until they settled again. If you sit just above their eye line it really helps, as it’s hard to maintain that gaze for very long, so you tend to close your eyes. Relatively soon after using this technique I was able to leave as soon as their eyes started to flicker, so they didn’t wake to find me suddenly gone.
Such great advice!!
Hi did u do this with your newborn ? How old were they? Mine is just over two weeks and I'm wondering if I can do this
This is my exact experience as well! My baby is a week old.
Mama of 4, this is our trick too.
Lise, what sound machine worked for your little ones?
Great video. u can skip to 2:00 to get right into the segment.
6:43 minute mark, "Most pediatricians agree that letting your baby cry for 30 minutes or even an hour is not going to hurt them." It's really irrelevant what pediatricians assume on this matter of crying it out. Medical doctors, including pediatricians, have little training in the area of emotional development and proper parent-child attachment. If parents want to let their babies cry alone for 30 to 60 minutes, that's on them, but let's not pretend that because a pediatrician says it's okay, that they actually know what they are talking about.
Well said !
I couldn't agree more. Intuition, including intuition about videos like this, is very important. Nothing beats intuition, period.
Honestly, I don’t think they research that part of. Babies development
As a mom of 3 I approve this message. Sleep training is necessary for your sanity. Without fail moms I know who do not sleep train cannot get their child to sleep easily later on in life. It’s something we are responsible for teaching them. This is exactly how I did it. Consistency is key!
Yeees ❤ that’s why I disagree with contact naps all the time or rocking the baby every single time to sleep. I usually don’t rock my baby and he sleeps just fine. I give him lots of love and cuddles all day long but I try to encourage him to be able to sleep independently.
Thanks!! My husband and I have a 4 day old and we are looking into this. My sister-in-law sleep trained their son (he's 2 now) and he sleeps wonderfully.
Sleep training is not necessary for our sanity. Please don’t generalize. I was there for my baby when he needed me and now he sleeps just fine
Hearing someone who tends to the more natural side of things support sleep training and a little crying (once out of the newborn stage) has helped my heart SO MUCH with this decision. I felt so guilty considering the CIO with my daughter after trying so many things to failure and now I’m confident in going for it. Thank you Bridget ❤️
How’s it going? Did your little one take to it? I want to start too!
ur videos on labour management is awesome. I followed ur breathing techniques. I literally felt less pain. There was only 10 mins of unbearable pain and I delivered within 2 pushes. I sincerely followed ur breath technique. I can’t thank u enough
My mom let me CIO all night back in the day (apparently it was common) and I can still remember how traumatizing it was (I have dreams about it). I grew up feeling neglected as a child bc of it as well. I am very close to my mom and she is amazing, but I carried the issue with me until adulthood. For me, I’ll do the gentle sleep training. I did it with my first son.
If you remember it she did it too late in the game.
@@maja_basford I’m a huge fan of your replies in this comment section. Just wanted to let you know
@maja_basford bro you just try to find excuses for yourself to not feel so guilty. CIO is cruel. Period.
So its ok to leave your newborn to cry alone all night, as long as they won’t remember ? No thanks
What method is considered gentle?
My postpartum depression is getting worse partly due to lack of sleep too. Thank you for this video. I'll definitely try these ❤
Me to girl. Me to
Finally decided after a long and exhausting year to sleep train my daughter. She’s 20 months old now, and I believe it was the BEST decision I could have made for my sanity, for my daughter to get better sleep, and for my marriage.
Exactly the reasons why I’m starting now!
@@Madimoomo0 how is your experiance ? Im tring to do it now
@@riyamahmed4921 she sleeps a lot better now in her crib, sleeps through the night. She cried for a couple minutes but she now sucks her thumb and loves sleeping on her belly. Falls right to sleep. But every baby is different.
I’m a mother of one at 17 years old when he was born it took him abt 3-4 weeks he slept through the entire night in a bassinet after I split w his dad I moved and he slept w me at all times he is now one year old and I’m just starting sleep training as well as training him to a crib and while it’s difficult I really find some of these tips more helpful along w other TH-cam videos
You are such an amazing giver. I found your videos so helpful. And i am glad i found ur videos even though it was my last week of gestation. I gave birth and now my newborn is here by the grace of Almighty. So following u for the newborn care advices. Keep spreading such knowledge and love of birth. You are just amazing Bridget!! ♡
What is amazing here ? Programing and creating robots without connection, emotions and feelings ?
I have a new born 2 weeks old and a almost 5 years old, I’m literally loosing it through the middle of the night feelings. I’m glad about what you say about the newborns 🎈
The early weeks are really challenging, but stick it out! They don't last forever... soon you'll be getting so much more sleep! Try to make sure Baby is eating frequently and plenty during the day so they're not trying to get the majority of their calories during the night feedings.
Bridget Teyler h
Thanks to your videos.. I was able to breathe through my labour and manage the pain..
Pooja Srikumar me too I was literally in labor watching her videos
What video is this? 😧
You’re so lucky. Epidural does mess up the back. I wish I could handle it
Same here !!!! She is amazing
Same here 👏🏻
My baby is 5 weeks old and stayed up all night. Like she woke every hour. My eyes burn so bad. I’m gonna try to keep her up more with her wake times 🥺😩🥲
im right there with you. plus im trying to pump. this too shall pass is what everyone keeps telling me
I just had a night with my 5-week old waking up every hour…
@@yunqingyu440 aww you got this! Hang in there 🥺💕✨🧘🏾♀️
@@sarikatimmi sending light ✨ our babies are bigger now 🧘🏾♀️😩💕
@@Itsterrileeee i thought we were not gonna get the sleep regression but we are about 19 weeks and it just started last night. good luck to all of us!
Thank you so so much for this video! Will be giving sleep training a shot. My baby is 3.5 months old but I feel like she’s ready. Pray for me ❤️
Under 4 months I tried to let my baby sleep independently, but close to me. I had a bassinet bumper I didn't want to use in the bassinet (my MIL gave it to us and she's from a different era), so I set it up on the sofa so he had a dedicated sleep space. I was there to reach over to rub his belly and comfort him and respond to him during naps, and then at night we did something similar, but with the bassinet next to the bed. At about 5 months he started getting onto a more predictable sleep schedule, so we started a sort of "lite" version of sleep training during naps and got him used to falling asleep on his own while it wasn't completely dark and we were very responsive at first. Over time we slowly worked on reducing our response time and over time he just started falling asleep independently. A HUGE part of making the transition to sleeping independently was having a predicable night routine. We just moved him into his own room at 7 months and as long as we get him to sleep before he's over-tired, he'll roll over and fall asleep before we have a chance to even walk out the door. So, not that I'm an expert, but I would highly recommend doing it a little at a time instead of all at once. It took 3 nights to successfully sleep train him at night once we were ready to officially start. And he gets LOTS of snuggles, so he actually looks forward to being put down and rest.
This came at just the right time! I think my daughter is either teething or going through 4 month sleep regression or possibly both! Last few nights have been terrible! Thanks so much Bridget!
The regressions can be so challenging! You got this!
I just put my baby in his bed by himself for the first time ever. He is 5 mo ths and has nursed to sleep but its exhausting and sometimes he won't actually fall asleep with me. He pulls away from the breast and just seems really restless. So I found this video and watched it while he cried in his bed (let me tell you that was the hardest 5 min since he's been born) but after 5 min he was asleep! And it wasn't a screaming cry, it was a whiny cry. I'm glad he fell asleep so quickly because 1. I wanted to rescue him and 2. He was so exhausted but wouldn't go to sleep so I just had to let him cry it out and fall asleep.... I'm going to keep try this but my husband is totally against him crying it out and I'm not sure how things will go tonight when hubby is home.
Me too, we altérnate shifts and I was trying to let him cry for just a bit because I needed the break, it was going to be no more than 5 minutes, but he came in the door at 3 am and told me, “ I’m watching you letting him cry, that type of bull is that, he grabbed him and was soothing him, it was cute but he can’t understand that it is okay from time to time to take 5 min to breath
Love your teaching method! Thank you for this video i cannot afford the taking cara babies class and this was so helpful..also thank you for teaching me how to breathe during a contraction to get the best results from our surges
What is so amazing here ?
The principles that she spoke of, you can read more about in the book called babywise. That way you get the whole pic of what she is saying which was good. I tried babywise when my baby was two months olds and by around 2 months and a half my baby started sleeping through the night and also had great nap times.
Love that book! Started with my first from birth and she was sleeping 10pm - 6am consistently by 6.5 weeks!
I love your videos and found some of them really helpful and empowering during my pregnancy, so thank you for that 😊 im concerned that some very tired and new mummas will see this video and think that they *need* to sleep train their baby. Sleep is developmental and babies will get there + there are things you can do to help your baby with sleep that don't involve leaving them to cry. I just want to put that out there so people watching this know there is an option and you don't have to sleep train if it doesn't sit well with you x
She mentioned it couple times throughout the video though
I want to discuss sleep and general “transitioning” for my second baby coming in the fall.
With my 1st, I coslept and breastfed for 2 years. I liked having her near me because I wanted to encourage that instinct and bonding especially after she was literally part of my body for 9 months... However, I struggled with knowing when to “transition” to the next phase and I found each transition was SO agonizing for all of us.
Examples:
> when to transition from being with mom (co-sleeping or bassinet for example), to say a CRIB + if baby is right next to mom in whatever capacity and they dry or wake are you grab right away or put arm on them right away doesn’t this make them dependent on you for that instant response (not saying it’s bad) just posing question of - does it make that later transition of them self soothing etc more difficult when you suddenly aren’t responding and what does this all look like. I mean at 3am I wasn’t into letting my 1st scream and scream when she woke so that my hard working husband would then also wake up.
> when and HOW to cut off night BREASTMILK so that it’s easier and HOW/ what to do to get them to sleep and no longer be dependent on those night feedings? I felt like there was yelling and arguing because my 1st was a toddler when I finally took the milk away at night(2yrs). I couldn’t handle not getting any sleep after 2 years of giving my first my all. 🥹
Things I have been told so far:
> I have learned/heard that not letting a baby fall asleep ON you if you’re breastfeeding so they don’t associate “I only sleep if I am on mommy” is a good place to start
> putting them in a crib when they are tired but not yet asleep so they “fall” asleep in their physical space (crib)
> that using crib for naps right away when they are a newborn will more easily develop the habit as opposed to car sleeping more than a crib or a side sleeper more than a crib..
> keeping a lot of noise so they can sleep deep in noise as opposed to being a 👻 when they are asleep. My first is such a light sleeper and we never made a peep!
Sorry this is long winded. I don’t even know what my exact questions are. I just need a better flow and plan to be confident in this second time around that May have worked for several others. So please help! I am more open minded than I used to be! Any little nuance you can share I’d love to hear!!
What worked for both my babies was putting them on the E.A.S.Y routine from Tracy Hogg! Without letting the baby cry it out
Saving this video. My little will be 4 months in about 2 weeks and I’m definitely ready to teach her how to independently sleep. I’m very encouraged to know though that cuddling for a nap or 2 won’t derail the process. My babe is way too snuggly 😂
How did your sleep training go?,
Bridget always coming in clutch with answers to all of my pregnancy and parenting questions ❤️ My husband and I NEED to get baby on a better schedule. Hoping to try this soon, maybe after Christmas when things calm down a bit!
I'm trying to prepare for my upcoming 2nd daughter. I'm a little confused regarding the advice to set a timer to go back in after 10,15 minutes etc. Isnt that indirectly teaching them that if they just cry for 10 minutes a parent will come in and comfort them? Then isnt extending that window just training them that if they stay awake crying for longer theyll get a parent to come in? It was a mixed bag sleep training my first, so I'm trying to strategize a little more thoroughly this time. Love the channel, and appreciate the help.
Thank you so much for all your videos!! I followed your videos through my pregnancy and they were so helpful. Now baby Adam is here and he’s only two weeks. Still soaking in all the info you provide to make sure I can be a great mommy. Thank you for all the grateful tips!
Hello, I encountered the problem of my child not sleeping at night and I found the solution on this website: ipresto-home.blogspot.com/ and also I wrote to them on this email: amleur_14@outlook.com
Hi Bridget, i just recently found your videos and im still catching up, I have 7 weeks left until my baby girl is due and your videos are so reassuring and informative ❤️
My husband and I have taken wakeful shifts over night since my little boy was born, he had bad reflux due to a severe tongue tie and felt uncomfortable on his back. I tried the Ferber method at 9 months, he screamed for 20 mins, and my husband and I could not cope with seeing him cry so much so stopped sleep training. He’s just turned one and we are still taking shifts, however he wakes early crawls off me and sleeps on his own on the couch for a short time. I’m always watching him so he’s safe. He will get there in his own time and I’m happy he’s happy.
Thank you for your videos. As a man I have also learned a lot from your videos during pregnancy. In our case postpartum was harder than pregnancy and labor. Our son can sleep during night 5-6 hrs and during the day only 1-2 hrs. He is 7 weeks.
Should day time and nap time sleep be separate locations? Does the baby’s age make a difference for this answer?
Mothers, go with your instinct. If it feels incorrect to let your baby cry it out, even for a little, don’t override your instincts bc of what “experts” say. You are your baby’s expert.
Exactly my thought... there is a reason mamas feel stressed when the baby is crying. Besides humans are the only who ever would consider to let their baby cry
What do you suggest for a newborn sleep schedule ? 0-3 months.
Can you make a “third trimester suggestions” video?
Like exercises, things to do to prepare mind/body, etc. I’m 31 weeks pregnant with my first baby and I’m curious what suggestions you may have :)
Great suggestion! I'm 31 weeks too! Due Feb 9th :)
Nichole Daniels Aw congrats! It will be here before we know it.
Do you have a nap training video? If not can you make one?
Breathing technique helped me alot and ur meditation vdo. I delivered my baby on 14 nov.
Bed sharing is the only reason I get any sleep. I have a 6 week old and have not dealt with sleep deprivation. Babe just latches on the boob throughout the night when he’s hungry.
Be careful of future teeth issues with the milk in the mouth through out the night
My baby is 9 months old. I nurse her to sleep in the night. During the day I put her in her bed for naps without nursing. It works surprisingly well, just doesn't translate to nighttime's .
She wakes up 3-4 times in the night and wants to be breastfed to sleep. She has a healthy weight and eats a lot throughout the day.
They say you shouldn't sleep train the baby if they are ill or teething...well, she was teething the past 4 months and has 10 teeth now. I've just started sleep training her and now she's got a cold so I'm back to nursing her in the night.
While sleeptraining, I never let her cry alone in a room. That's just way too brutal for me. And she would never calm down like this. She'd become hysterical and almost impossible to calm down when I'd get back. I always stay there with her and have my hand on her breast while she's in her bed trying to fall asleep. At least I'm not breastfeeding her, right? I try to do it step by step: now my goal is to separate breastfeeding from falling asleep.
Imagine being so small and dependent on your mommy and she just takes off and leaves you alone in the darkness. It must be traumatising. She's barely consolable if I stay in the room, stroke her and do a shushing sound. It's hard to hear her cry and not pick her up. I use earplugs sometimes but i stay there with her.
I'm aware that it will take much much longer for her to sleep through the night like this, and I am super tired (I work and have two other kids) but I just can't do it cold turkey. I know that we'll eventually get there. My other kids started sleeping through the night at around 13 month mark.
I know this video is targeting moms, but dad here and I appreciate your video! I'm the one who puts my daughter to sleep at night and deal with 90% of the late-night crying. Mom is out of shape so holding the baby is really painful for her, and the only other way baby goes to sleep right now is if someone is petting her, but our crib is really low (she's almost a year old), so mom can't easily reach her. This puts most of the late-night baby activities on me and has now for several months and I'm EXHAUSTED. So I'm eager to get this baby sleep trained so 1. it's easier to put her down at night (because even though petting her is effective, it can still take me 15-20 minutes (40 minutes in extreme cases) before I can leave the room and go to bed myself. Thank you!
A question I have: What's the upper-limit of increasing the wait timer before going back into the room? Is it an hour? I suspect my kid won't stay down after the first few iterations.
We have 1 difficult child who just would not fall asleep but when he did he wouldn't stay asleep.We tried different things but we found what helped him was music. My husband is a musician so he played music for him that he recorded & he would nod off within 20 minutes.We this was like for a year but we were thankful we found a solution. But keeping him to sleep started becoming an issue. We then uploaded the songs he would fall asleep to on TH-cam and we play through the night to keep him asleep.We made a channel with these songs that would hopefully help others the same way it helped us.
Music is so much nicer than those grating sound machines.
Good tips, especially on wake times! Though I would like to highlight that using a pacifier to fall asleep is still using a sleep aid (i.e. not independent sleep), where the baby might wake up if the pacifier drops off and he/she is not able to fall back asleep by him/herself without someone putting the pacifier back.
I have this problem.
Can you PLEASE do a video on teething??!!!
Hello, I encountered the problem of my child not sleeping at night and I found the solution on this website: ipresto-home.blogspot.com/ and also I wrote to them on this email: amleur_14@outlook.com
100% not leaving my 4 month old to cry like that. Personally I don’t think it’s okay to leave any baby to cry for an hour!!?? They are not neurologically developed enough to ‘self soothe’ at that age! They will stop crying because they get tired out and/or learn that it’s pointless. The thought of this makes me so sad
I agree!
Exactly!
I agree its not good not at all.
I agree with you
Agree, there’s some interesting research showing elevated cortisol levels (indicating stress) in babies left to cry it out. It appears this can actually “program” their nervous systems to a higher state of stress for their whole lives. All babies know at 4 months is that they have a need, they are dependant on a caregiver to meet that need, and when they try to communicate about that need, their caregiver doesn’t respond. So the world becomes a scary place and they give up trying to communicate. So sad.
Love this video with some great tips to help parents get their little one's sleeping well. Starting sleep training when you're READY is so so important as consistency and following through will make the process so much easier. Thanks so much for sharing!
The problem with the sentence „your baby won’t be mad at you in the morning after you let them cry at night” is that even seriously abused children won’t be mad at their parents. Because an anxious child can’t afford to be mad. They just learn how to shut up if they want any love. So because you can’t ask a baby what it feels like to be left in a room crying for 5 minutes, let alone for 1 hour, you don’t know if they might feel panic during that time. And in case they feel panic it basically doesn’t matter if they feel loved during the day because they learn that nobody is there when they panic at night. That feels horrific to me.
Do you have a child or children?
This is actually 100% correct. It hurts their attachment. Babies have NO concept of time, so when you leave it isn’t 5minutes to them. It’s forever…. Orphan babies don’t cry, because they learn it doesn’t work… I suggest just having a routine to help a baby, but never let them cry it out.
We had a sleep trainer help us and after 2 days the baby stopped crying. Slept longer, was happier, and healthier.
Former cosleeping, no cry mom. I couldn't do it anymore, or with multiple young kids. I was exhausted and depressed and my children weren't getting quality sleep.
One thing to think about: The danger of sleep training has not been proven. But the danger of sleep deprivation and poor sleep hygiene has been proven time and again, and it's EVERYONE suffering that. I'm willing to have a limited number of nights where my baby is crying alone for set amounts of time between my soothing and resettling so that every other night they can utilize those skills calmly and peacefully, after a day of snuggles and playing and kisses and reassurance of my love.
I think it should be called sleep learning, not sleep training. My kids cry when they learn anything new and difficult. Similar to dressing themselves, I can provide support, but I can't do it for them.
@@dagmar9019There's a difference between secure attachment and attachment parenting. Just to be clear ☺️
OH i love this! Found your Chanel while pregnant with my 3 rd baby (now 4 weeks old) Love your Chanel. ❤️. Beeing confident and trusting your childs ability to fall asleep is the biggest pice of this. I have gently sleep trained two kids and it is amazing! good sleep is so important for development and psykological helth i prioritize this.
I will definitely start the sleep training, but the only thing is that my baby sleeps in the same room… but definitely will try. I really want him to get better sleep and me as well…
I pray everyone reading this is blessed abundantly try soothing music
Sleep is so valuable!!! I have a 2 week old and trying to get him to sleep albeit he is very young I would love for him to sleep at least 6 hours a night
What’s the plan for when baby wakes during the night? We’ve a 5 month old and I get this training method for getting him down to sleep initially, but he sleeps in the same room as us. When he wakes during the night are we supposed to leave the room for 5, 10 minutes etc.?
As usual you make the best videos on all of these topics. Such concise information, thank you !
I have honestly been informally been sleep training my daughter since she was very young (A few weeks old) she would always wake up after I fed her even in the middle of the night. (I have never let her cry in her bed though) she is just 3 months now. I have been lying her in her bed and just laying down beside it and soothing her as needed (usually just helping her with her passie). I'm hoping this helps with her sleep as she gets older!
I love every video, (and have watched most). So you feed as soon as they wake always? Then NOT when they are ready to go to sleep?
Im not a parent yet but I do want kids in about a year or so. To start at least. So Ive been doing my research on all sorts of things. I do have an almost 5 year old step son but he still sleeps in bed with my bf (we dont live together yet). I dont think that I would ever do that. Sleep training does seem to work for some people and some people also disagree. Im not sure yet what i’ll do but I love the idea of babies finding ways to self soothe and be independent. And i think its great when children can sleep in their own rooms and being secure that mommy and daddy will be a room away if they need anything. But its hard bc my bf wants our babies to sleep in bed with us. I guess we’ll see what happens. We have to compromise somewhere in the middle. I just dont want my kids to be too co dependent, more so as children.
I think you should do some more research about this. I love all your other videos about birth, but as a mum of 4 I’ve really evolved. I did sleep training with my first but none of the others. You can get them to sleep without crying. Have a look into the Beyond Sleep Training Project.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Agreed! A little disappointed in this
@@sustainablebabyonabudget9257 what is there to be disappointed in? She’s giving great advice.
@@averyl268Exactly, she’s in no way suggesting that you should let your baby/ toddler cry for an hour straight that’s why she’s saying that going in their bedroom periodically to soothe them and help calm them down and let them know you’re there is so very crucial as well.
I was 100% ready everytime I attempted to teach my baby to self soothe, but 2 hours of on and off crying, and 40 minutes non stop crying, has be quitting everytime....4 months of little to no sleep is taking a toll on me...I feel like I'm living life in a blur....
Also I’m so upset at all the “don’t do this” or “you have to do this” and sleep training is a huge debate. I’m so happy she isn’t like This. It was so relieving to here her say “if you want your baby to sleep on you, don’t hold back” because so many articles say to not do that. But like I love when my baby sleeps on me. It’s so heart warming and I only have it once with her. I don’t want to feel guilty when she does or when she sleeps in someone elses arms.
I wish so badly that your product recommendations were more easily accessible in Canada!!! I love your videos so much but like 70% of the products you recommend on your channel aren’t available in Canada :(
5 minutes into this video and i finally have found one that sounds like it will really help with sleep training!
Thank you for your nice explanation. But I have a question. What if the baby wakes up again during the night? And is it allowed to feed her?
Your advice helped me so much during my labour, I came right back to you for sleep training advice.... you are making a difference! Thank you for sharing this information with us
Hi.. i love your vedios .... becos of ur labour pain breathe techniques i was able to deliver my baby easily... thanks alott!!!!
My baby girl is 5 months old n its really difficult to put her down for the night. She sleeps well st night. But no naps from afternoon till late evening. sometimes im exhausted bcoz that but ignores as she sleeps well st night. Should i sleep train her for naps too???
thanks for this! I am 2 weeks pp and nights are brutal. Also, where did you get your sweater?
I am delivering my 4th child in 6 weeks and i feel so much more prepared this time around because of the advice you have given. Even though i am alone and my husband works out of state i know if i use those techniques instead of screaming and crying and freaking out...i will rock this L nD!!
Wow you’re amazing! My husband also works out of state but at least he’s here on weekends. It’s still hard!
My baby is 2 weeks old only and I enjoy cuddling him. I’m sure my mind will change after no sleep for longer periods of time 🤣
You can also greet dads at the beginning, we're also here trying to improve our little baby's sleep
Thank you for this video. It is very clear. I would like to know what to do if your baby wakes up earlier than what the schedule says and starts crying. Do you pick them from the cot or go, try to help then sleep again, or leave them there until their waking up time?
Also, I would like to know what to do if they fall asleep on the pram or the baby carrier right before nap time. When that happens, I go back home ASAP. But does that sleep count as part of their nap?
And, finally, even though my baby is already 5months old, she wakes up 2 or 3 times at night to eat. And it is to eat, it is not because she can't sleep. I don't understand why that happens, as she eats quite well during the day.
Thanks a lot.
Great video! My wife and I are trying to sleep train our baby and this is so helpful! Also great engagement… i usually watch personal finance videos but yours was great!!
Hi Bridget, how do you sleep train your baby when he has the habit of falling asleep on the breast? I breastfeed him also 2-3 times in the night, sometimes even 4 times, in a 10-12 hour long sleep and he is now 6 months old. Thank you :-)
Hey laura how did you eventually do
I’m in the exact same boat! Would love to know any advice. I can’t let her just scream and cry for me when she’s so used to having me throughout the night. Breaks my heart.
@@KateetMaddi
The thing is he can only fall asleep on my breast so when i feed him at night i have to wait until he is asleep to put him down otherwise he will cry and i can start all over again
Some here! My daughter wakes 3=4 per night! And has well want the bob to fall sleep or just play. I crave my 8 hours of sleep 😪
@@danielareynoso.r mine is now 7 months and he still nurses every couple hours sometimes every hour ☹️! I cant seem to break the cycle. Its or letting him cry or giving the boob. I opt for the second one. But im exhausted all the time.
Do you have any tips on baby lead weaning?
Hey Bridget, you're simply awesome 💓
So my baby and I are not there yet, he's almost 4 weeks old and going through the 3 weeks growth spurt so he's nursing a LOT and cries out loud quickly when he wants to eat.
I feel exhausted at times but can't always manage to eat something/use the bathroom/take a shower.
You said we can't spoil too much a newborn.. but is it okay to let him cry a little while I do one of these basic needs ? Any alternative ?
Hello, I encountered the problem of my child not sleeping at night and I found the solution on this website: ipresto-home.blogspot.com/ and also I wrote to them on this email: amleur_14@outlook.com
Love this question. At the same stage! Feel the same way😩
Bridget also recommends babywearing. My 4 week old spends a good chunk of time with me in a wrap carrier. I can go to the kitchen to eat, use the bathroom, move laundry etc and he can even take his naps. As Bridget mentions in her video on babywearing, studies show babies who have lots of close physical contact have lower stress levels, cry less, and sleep better at night. Obviously I cant wear the baby in the shower, but just having him on me a good part of the day means he is less upset if I do have to put him down.
Hei. Thanks for this video. I want to start sleep training. I have a question maybe you can help. How about the daily sleep/Lunch nap? Same process? Cry it out?
Hey guys - how does this work during the day when it’s time to put our baby down for naps? Do we follow the same routine for the evening (where we put them down awake) or is it ok to hold them for nap time during the day? Please advise.
My daughter was really colicky. I sleep trained her at 10 months and it worked amazingly. But before that, it was HELL on earth. She would not stop crying unless I had her in my arms, if I let her she would go hours crying. By 10 months she was able to stop crying after 20 or 30 mins, and I would always come in every 10 minutes to soothe if she was still crying. I rarely had to come in more than twice though.
I feel like from watching a friend struggle who let all her kids sleep with her in bed from the start (and the oldest is 5 and they all still do) she can't get them to go sleep in their own rooms now, they never want to nap or sleep alone which would let her clean or do things alone, and she can't get any good sleep. The kids see her as their only comfort, so they can't sleep without her. And while that's a great sentiment, it's just not very practical and I think can make you more prone to bad moods or even ppd. So I am trying to research sleep training as the alternative to start!
I sadly have to go back to work this Monday and I really would appreciate if you could make a video guiding me through a good schedule to get a four month old out the house to grandmas at 6:30 in the morning 🥺
Dress them in the days outfit the night before and have their bag fully packed with everything they'll need so all you need to do is change nappy in morning and get yourself ready to go .
This is so overwhelming :(
Any postpartum advice for c section moms?
I hope u r ok sis
When my girlfriend starts to cry I put her in a dark isolated setting, preferably in a cage she can't escape from. She crys hysterically but eventually she teaches herself to "self-soothe" and falls asleep. This method has worked great for me as it allows me to get my much needed rest!
I assume your girlfriend cries for reasons that are more serious than a well taken care of five month old baby might have. At least I hope so. Otherwise she just might need some self soothing techniques in her arsenal.
That being said, I do get your point. But I hardly think this video is condoning abandoning your child when they're in real distress.
Well dang lol 😂
Lol. Did you watch the video?
Babies lack object permanence, so when you leave the room they don't understand that you're still near by.
They also have no understanding of time, so 5 minutes when they're upset feels like a long time.
Letting them cry also teaches them that you aren't listening when they try to communicate. This could lead to a louder more anxious baby or a baby who only cried when desperate. Also, letting them cry while you're in the other room means you might be missing vital cues that they need something. Studies also show that CIO causes trauma, leading to worse brain devolpment and cognition. It's important to know cortisol, the main stress hormone is bad for the hippocampus, which can lead to memory problems if you are chronically exposed to high levels of cortisol. I grew up in an abusive environment and have very poor memory because of that stress
Modern medicine also recommends against sleep training infants of any age because it can cause them to go hungry, as their stomaches don't hold that much when they're little so they process it much faster.
I enjoyed many of the videos on this channel before but not I find myself skeptical. I have severe postpartum depression & struggle with insomnia so I am sleep deprived to the point it is definitely feeding back into the postpartum depression, but I know that it is way better for my baby to have a lethargic and depressed mother than an absent one and an empty tummy.
Hi Bridget, I love your videos and am learning so much! I just have a question about day time naps. When you sleep train, do you also do the same routine for day time naps? For example put a sleep sack on, use the white noise machine and make a dark room? And then for night time add an extra step e.g. bath time and book reading time to show them that it is night time and that means a longer sleep is required?
You can add a little something to the night time sleep routine if you want, but you don't necessarily have to!
@@BridgetTeyler thank you for your reply 😊 I was concerned that if the same sleep routines were used for both day and night, babies could get confused and either sleep too long during the day or not long enough during the night!
How do you get your baby used to take naps/sleep on the right times but to be flexible on where they sleep? So for example, if you are on vacation, babies are okay with sleeping in a different crib
Having multiple bassinets has been key for us. And using fans. Our baby loves to sleep in his bassinet in daddy's office with 3 fans on lol. If all else fails that's where we put him
THANK YOU!!!! I’ve been wanting to know about sleep training!!!! I couldn’t find anything on it 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 i loooove watching all your videos!
Yay! I hope it helps!
In orphanage the babies are taught to sleep alone, also u can watch latest hitman movie to see how are those people train. That's why here in the west everyone is superficial, no emotions, more robotic attitude, 40% divorced single mothers everywhere, no feelings no connections you kill all of that by sending the baby to sleep alone. How u gonna expect to love u and need you when that baby is adult and train that u won't be there when he or she cry or need you. That baby didn't ask to come and be in this world if you can't handle or have time and space in your bed you should not make babies, after 3-4 years babies can start go to sleep alone
I am rethinking about it since you said I should let her cry alone
What about turning the fan on instead of white noise.
My daughter used to be great going to sleep on her own. Now she is 4 months old and going through sleep regression. She is wide awake during the day and very active and would not sleep for more than 30 minutes. At night she wakes up more often. Is it ok start sleep training in a couple of weeks when this period passes?
H. Are we allowed to pick up baby during walking in during the Ferber method? Or never pick up?
I don’t do any sleep training and the thought of leaving my child alone crying is just horrible. 😢
You’re right-it is horrible.
So I’m watching this because I have been planning baby #2 and keep hesitating because I’m scared of the horrible nights of constant crying from baby and me haha. My first didn’t sleep through the night until she was 10 months old! And even then she woke up some times. So with baby #2, I’m going to sleep train from the beginning since I never sleep trained our first
My baby is almost 2 weeks and he sleeps a lot during the day and at night he will be awake and cry for like 5 or 6 hours
Probably still has his day and night mixed up. During the day try to keep windows open and noise going on. Try to keep him awake before, during, and after feeding a little longer during the day too. And make a night routine if possible that baby can get used to. Blessings!
When should I start doing this? After 2 months or before?
My boys have eczema and sleeping has been a struggle. How do I train my 20months to sleep on his own and how do I get him to sleep the whole night?
Love all your videos, very educational and full useful information. Thank you
im a dad, but I love when you call me, "Momma"