I'm ashamed to say I was that guy once. You can turn right on red and it's one way so all they can do is turn right. Not a car for miles and they're just sitting there at the stop light holding up the line. I'm about to be late for work because of this so I said, "oh come on move it you moron!"
turning right on red is the most bullshit rule I've ever heard and it can only be invented by American bureaucracy. Just fucking split the two lights... @@TheScarletSlayer
EVERY LINE IS GOLD were you ever proud? no I'm not trans were you ever greedy? no I'm not a bitcoin day trader were you ever overcome with rage and wrath? no I'm not a protestor were you ever lazy? no I didn't have a trust fund
Idk about the "I'm not trans" because all the other examples are of bad decisions or generally undesirable traits which means he thinks being trans is comparable to owning bitcoin
Isaiah 56:3 --- Let no foreigner who is bound to the LORD say, “The LORD will surely exclude me from his people.” And let no eunuch complain, “I am only a dry tree.”
@@Loafoftime No, they aren't because he would have wanted a trust fund. One of his wishes was for money, so he could do nothing. These are a play on words. Trans is pride for the LGBT community.
@@LoafoftimeWhat you're doing is called "reading too much into it." Pride month is for the LGBT community. That's all there is to the joke. He never even implied that pride in that context was a bad thing. If anything, you could infer the opposite given how this whole skit is making fun of final judgment and the seven deadly sins as concepts.
@@zachapack4624 feels like it. i called one time about a dangerous drunk driver in front of me and they made me go through an operator to figure out my location first then reroute me to the police officer themselves. it took so long that i had to repeat vital information multiple times without any of them taking notes and telling the other person. if it was to turn ugly while i was on call i am certain the emergency wouldve escalated with no resolution from my call
Also pretty sure he recorded himself once for every video, just with that expression for as long as humanly possible, just because it never stops being funny as a reaction.
The problem here is that they have full evidence of him committing the alleged sinful acts which includes entries from his personal diary and search history. Hard to make a defense against that.
Me for the first three: I don’t think I’d do too bad here *devil pulls out the biggest book you’ve ever seen on my procrastination* Me: well that’s a shame
@LucianDevine don't think Zeus knows the definition of pull out. He is a strictly creampie man and I respect it and tried to live up to his divine image but I not as fertile as he is apparently.
If a man commits one sin, he is a sinner. If a man commits 1000 sins, he is a devil. If a man commits every sin, he is a god. And if a woman commits any number of sins she gets into heaven, because god loves a naughty girl
Objection! Your Honor, the defendant believed in the sacrifice that Christ made on the cross, and therefore it’s obligated that his sins all be forgiven. (That incident with the slow driver doesn’t count, of course.)
John 5:24 --- “Very truly I tell you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be judged but has crossed over from death to life.
That'd be the best way to end the skit, tbh. Him being an awful sinner but being redeemed in christ. But well, I guess Zach isn't a christian or just doesn't want to alienate his audience lol.
@@akai4942. I mean, if this were supposed to be an accurate rendition of Judgement Day according to the Bible, the only question that would be asked would be "now that you know God does in fact exist, will you worship him? If so your sins are all forgiven. If not then your sins are not". But that wouldn't be particularly interesting.
@@adamsmith7885 Very unlikely tbh. Harmless comedy that a lot of people don't find funny will make the comedian look worse and harmless comedy that let's people laugh at themselves one can argue is a good thing as it leads to better self evaluation and humility. Unless Zach made the skits with the intention to subconciously make religious people look dumb and his atheistic(if he is one) look better and more "reasonable", knowing that his audience will love it, giving him more views which he can use to sustain his own lifestyle for him and him alone than MAYBE. But a person can change and what I just said is a super uncharitable way of looking at things anyway and will probably be advanced by hateful and insecure fundamentalists who are so weak in their faith that they can't take jokes. Zach seems chill and a passionate educator. Which is nice.
When he was reading the rant at the light and ended with "strike me down now" I half expected it to finish "and that was the last thing he said before a truck hit his car, killing him instantly".
i need a part three where god is counter-sued for lying because he said "I don't make the rules" and then they go through all of god's sins and send him to hell. the new god is obviously betty white
Wrath was by far the funniest thing I've seen all week. The defeat of the defendant remembering what he said, God staring (supposedly the defendant) in the eyes as the prosecutor puts on the best performance I've ever heard, and then the angel's objection and God full understanding of his rage. Well done brother, well done.
2:25 As I sit here, pen in hand, pondering the ethereal profundity that is the poem before me, I am overcome by a tsunami of emotions, a tempestuous whirlwind swirling within the chambers of my soul. This masterpiece, this magnum opus of poetic expression, transcends the mere confines of language, evoking in me a kaleidoscope of sensations, ranging from ineffable euphoria to profound existential angst. With each stanza, each meticulously crafted verse, I am transported to realms hitherto unexplored, where the boundaries between reality and imagination blur into a symphony of chaos and beauty. Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, this poem ignites within me a fervent passion for life itself, compelling me to embrace the fleeting moments of existence with an ardor bordering on the sublime. Oh, how I envy the ink-stained hands of the poet, who with but a stroke of their pen, has unlocked the very essence of the human experience, laying bare the raw emotions that lie dormant within us all. For in this ephemeral tapestry of words, I find solace, I find meaning, I find myself. And so, dear reader, as I bid farewell to this profound work of art, tears cascade down my cheeks in a torrent of unbridled emotion, for I know that I shall never again encounter a piece of literature so exquisitely crafted, so profoundly moving, so utterly transcendent. 😭😭😭
@@Jeffreydefinitelynotdahmer yea, not many can pull it off as well as he does. It's really not as easy to do as you might think, and he nails it every time. Makes me laugh every time it comes up.
The devil went to hell for wanting more than he could have, God cannot sin because he does not want anything, he cannot want anything because he already has everything
Video idea: pointing out how messed up it is that God altered Pharaoh's free will just so he'd have an excuse to use all ten plagues since he worked super hard on them.
@@NoNameAtAll2 You are envious of what others have and you are jealous of things that you have but others might take away (usually in the context of a boyfriend/girlfriend).
Skit Idea, Normal Guy who knows his way around the Bible, demasks the Jerk at the Table as not actually being God. Could even be a Multiparter with the Fallout
Every time you appeared on screen with your blank stares I couldn’t even tell if that was just a photo or you were being SOO still. Great videos, love ya❤
3:45 my mom does that all the time. she watches the countdown on the crosswalk and if it’s at 5 seconds or less she’ll slow down and stop as soon as the light turns yellow. i love that woman more than anything but there are not enough words created by mankind to describe how much fucking hate when people do that. she gets mad at me because 100/100 times i go through the yellow
True maturity is knowing that those stepsisters turn into stepmoms one day
Wait... He has a point...
BRAINBLAST
true
uh
😭😭😭😭
I love it every time he tries to pull the
"I don't make the rules..."
“YES YOU DO. YOU’RE GOD.”
i mean, since he make the rules, and he said he doesn't make the rules, that means that he in fact does not make the rules
i see no inconsistency here
@@San-lh8us Lmao
It's the best line on the Internet. I laugh out loud every time.
@@San-lh8us okay but does make the rules?
The Stoplight one is pretty valid though.
I'm ashamed to say I was that guy once.
You can turn right on red and it's one way so all they can do is turn right.
Not a car for miles and they're just sitting there at the stop light holding up the line.
I'm about to be late for work because of this so I said, "oh come on move it you moron!"
Sustained
Anything said during road rage can and will be stricken from the record.
Unless you act on that road rage by actually doing what you threaten, it should not be held against you in a court of angels.
turning right on red is the most bullshit rule I've ever heard and it can only be invented by American bureaucracy. Just fucking split the two lights... @@TheScarletSlayer
Video Idea: God realises he does in fact make the rules
EVERY LINE IS GOLD
were you ever proud?
no I'm not trans
were you ever greedy?
no I'm not a bitcoin day trader
were you ever overcome with rage and wrath?
no I'm not a protestor
were you ever lazy?
no I didn't have a trust fund
I mean he did but that bitcoin though
Idk about the "I'm not trans" because all the other examples are of bad decisions or generally undesirable traits which means he thinks being trans is comparable to owning bitcoin
Isaiah 56:3 --- Let no foreigner who is bound to the LORD say, “The LORD will surely exclude me from his people.” And let no eunuch complain, “I am only a dry tree.”
@@Loafoftime No, they aren't because he would have wanted a trust fund. One of his wishes was for money, so he could do nothing. These are a play on words. Trans is pride for the LGBT community.
@@LoafoftimeWhat you're doing is called "reading too much into it." Pride month is for the LGBT community. That's all there is to the joke.
He never even implied that pride in that context was a bad thing. If anything, you could infer the opposite given how this whole skit is making fun of final judgment and the seven deadly sins as concepts.
God wearing glasses over his sunglasses at 3.02 made me cackle 😂
3:02
@@androidaxolotl8311thank you
Skit idea: If calling 911 was like calling tech support
Isn't it already
Have you tried turning the intruder off and then back in again?
@@yds6268It's not.
@@zachapack4624 feels like it. i called one time about a dangerous drunk driver in front of me and they made me go through an operator to figure out my location first then reroute me to the police officer themselves. it took so long that i had to repeat vital information multiple times without any of them taking notes and telling the other person. if it was to turn ugly while i was on call i am certain the emergency wouldve escalated with no resolution from my call
So calling the police in India.
"And it looks like you are going to . . . . Hell."
"Big surprise."
I just love that he just sitting in silince not trying to defend himself because he know that he is in that shit to deep.. 😆😅
That’s what the defense is for
I love the uniform perfection of his identical relatives.
Also pretty sure he recorded himself once for every video, just with that expression for as long as humanly possible, just because it never stops being funny as a reaction.
John 15:22 --- If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not be guilty of sin; but now they have no excuse for their sin.
The problem here is that they have full evidence of him committing the alleged sinful acts which includes entries from his personal diary and search history. Hard to make a defense against that.
"If I had 1 wish, I'd wish you get [something really bad] by a genie.... 3 times!"
That is just clever.
I'm not sure that would be a good wish to punish someone else, but the rest of it is pretty wrathful.
@@RomanBelisarius You're right about that, but the cleverness in the writing always impress me.
Why not just write out "sexually assaulted"? It's not like comments can get demonetized too or something.
@@SeriousSam691 TH-cam has a tendency to delete comments that use that phrase. You're lucky yours didn't get deleted.
@@-TheShaun- Not surprising, the cowards they are. Deathly afraid of every word/phrase that's even slightly "brand unfriendly".
God: “ I don’t make the rules”
*poof*
God: wait! Where did my powers go?!?!
"Were you jelly?"
" both forms of Jellie-ness!" Haha
4:10 totally understandable and completely reasonable.
The defendant's face every time is just perfect
"I hope your childhood babysitter was P Diddy."
😨
Now that's too far a request. If that's not wrath then I don't know what wrath is.
That alone should be a guaranteed swift economy class ticket straight to hell.
😅
I'm gonna use that
4:03 That whole road rage rant was hilarious, and I wanna quote that from memeory someday.
Me for the first three: I don’t think I’d do too bad here
*devil pulls out the biggest book you’ve ever seen on my procrastination*
Me: well that’s a shame
You had a good run, but down you go!
samee
I am screwed on Lust and Sloth.
4:46 “Strike me down Zeus, you don’t have the balls”
Judging by how many bastard children he has, I would argue that Zeus does in fact have balls.
@@LucianDevine no pull out game tho
@@jdogzerosilverblade299 His pull out game is definitely WEAK!
@@LucianDevineLines Zeus could say in a game of poker and in bed:
I'm all in.
*Bad to the bone guitar riff
@LucianDevine don't think Zeus knows the definition of pull out. He is a strictly creampie man and I respect it and tried to live up to his divine image but I not as fertile as he is apparently.
So if I go to hell for committing One sin, do I go down a vip for doing them all?
Satan personally commends you for how awful you were
I think you become a vip on the 10th circle only real ones goes there
@@daniloalvessantanawatch me do what 2pac used to sing bout then
@@potatomine6678 you’re gonna fix racism and respect women and their bodies?
If a man commits one sin, he is a sinner.
If a man commits 1000 sins, he is a devil.
If a man commits every sin, he is a god.
And if a woman commits any number of sins she gets into heaven, because god loves a naughty girl
Objection! Your Honor, the defendant believed in the sacrifice that Christ made on the cross, and therefore it’s obligated that his sins all be forgiven. (That incident with the slow driver doesn’t count, of course.)
John 5:24 --- “Very truly I tell you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be judged but has crossed over from death to life.
That'd be the best way to end the skit, tbh. Him being an awful sinner but being redeemed in christ. But well, I guess Zach isn't a christian or just doesn't want to alienate his audience lol.
@@akai4942.
I mean, if this were supposed to be an accurate rendition of Judgement Day according to the Bible, the only question that would be asked would be "now that you know God does in fact exist, will you worship him? If so your sins are all forgiven. If not then your sins are not".
But that wouldn't be particularly interesting.
@@akai4942 imagine going to Hell just because you wanted youtube views.
@@adamsmith7885 Very unlikely tbh. Harmless comedy that a lot of people don't find funny will make the comedian look worse and harmless comedy that let's people laugh at themselves one can argue is a good thing as it leads to better self evaluation and humility. Unless Zach made the skits with the intention to subconciously make religious people look dumb and his atheistic(if he is one) look better and more "reasonable", knowing that his audience will love it, giving him more views which he can use to sustain his own lifestyle for him and him alone than MAYBE. But a person can change and what I just said is a super uncharitable way of looking at things anyway and will probably be advanced by hateful and insecure fundamentalists who are so weak in their faith that they can't take jokes. Zach seems chill and a passionate educator. Which is nice.
Still kills me the part where god says I don’t make the rules and bros like YES YOU DO😂
The wrath part is so accurate to me lmao…
"did you ever have feelings of uncontrollable rage and anger?"
"no im not a protester."
good bit bro
I love how Defendant Zach just stares blankly ahead for the majority of the trial
And thus the jury was willing and able to find the defendant a nice seat in hell
"I hope your childhood babysitter was P. Diddy." 💀
P on underage girls Diddy.
@-TheShaun- that was Rkelly lol Pdiddler likes boys...
Zach the sinner is like "I don't care anymore" and that ending was a "masterpiece move".
2:16 I like how they're all in sync.
Hivemind
"I don't make the rules"
You literally do
YES, YOU FUC- [Thanks for watching :) ]
You’re God
Don't make people say you're God, be more humble
@@fairyfellermasterstroke I didn't tell anybody to call me G-d.
The " oh crap" stare is hilarious!
Love the attention to detail on the jury. You can hear multiple different noises despite them all being the same. Nice 👌
I appreciate the synchronicity of the jury members
When he was reading the rant at the light and ended with "strike me down now" I half expected it to finish "and that was the last thing he said before a truck hit his car, killing him instantly".
i need a part three where god is counter-sued for lying because he said "I don't make the rules" and then they go through all of god's sins and send him to hell. the new god is obviously betty white
Wrath:
It says here you killed THE ENTIRETY OF THE WORLDS POPULATION because Friends was taken off of Netflix?
YES
Wait, you condemned an entire race to be cursed because they ate 2 apples? Isn't that wrath?
How would they send God to hell
@@zsan157 r/wooooosh
Wrath was by far the funniest thing I've seen all week. The defeat of the defendant remembering what he said, God staring (supposedly the defendant) in the eyes as the prosecutor puts on the best performance I've ever heard, and then the angel's objection and God full understanding of his rage. Well done brother, well done.
Diddy and Schneider definitely gonna be in hell.
My fav part is god constantly saying he doesnt make the rules 😂
I'm surprised I haven't seen some "Who's Schnieder?" comments
Behold, we have a God among men, for he hath both an engineering degree AND a sense of humor.
That stoplight one was a personal experience
"The laws of physic prevents you from getting there." ... I think this trial is already hell.
Being judge in the Afterlife with all your life secrets and insecurities exposed
God: "You're going to Hell!"
Me: "I'm already in Hell!"
2:25 As I sit here, pen in hand, pondering the ethereal profundity that is the poem before me, I am overcome by a tsunami of emotions, a tempestuous whirlwind swirling within the chambers of my soul. This masterpiece, this magnum opus of poetic expression, transcends the mere confines of language, evoking in me a kaleidoscope of sensations, ranging from ineffable euphoria to profound existential angst. With each stanza, each meticulously crafted verse, I am transported to realms hitherto unexplored, where the boundaries between reality and imagination blur into a symphony of chaos and beauty. Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, this poem ignites within me a fervent passion for life itself, compelling me to embrace the fleeting moments of existence with an ardor bordering on the sublime. Oh, how I envy the ink-stained hands of the poet, who with but a stroke of their pen, has unlocked the very essence of the human experience, laying bare the raw emotions that lie dormant within us all. For in this ephemeral tapestry of words, I find solace, I find meaning, I find myself. And so, dear reader, as I bid farewell to this profound work of art, tears cascade down my cheeks in a torrent of unbridled emotion, for I know that I shall never again encounter a piece of literature so exquisitely crafted, so profoundly moving, so utterly transcendent. 😭😭😭
I'd say this sounds AI generated but AI can't approach this level of atrociousness. ;)
turns out god is just saying I don’t make the rules to see if he can invoke wrath
I think that anything that is said during road rage should be inadmissable in court if it is not acted on.
God, i love just how he sitts there and looks dead inside the entire time. Thats so funny man.
That's my favourite thing about Zach star videos the character that just stares into space while the worst thing you can imagine happens
@@Jeffreydefinitelynotdahmer yea, not many can pull it off as well as he does. It's really not as easy to do as you might think, and he nails it every time. Makes me laugh every time it comes up.
I would actively loose my mind at the idea of a jury reading my journal 😂 let alone the devil using it as evidence against me
Zach mate this was honestly one of your best vids yet. So many lines could be turned into t shirts
the prosecutor did a perfect impression of the defendant
4:27 well, that aged well…
The fact remains he has no game
Which was uniformly undisputed by all sides. He had his 1 chance with that cheerleader, and he blew it.
Diddy as a babysitter is diabolical lol
The devil went to hell for wanting more than he could have, God cannot sin because he does not want anything, he cannot want anything because he already has everything
I feel like if these are the sins then literally everyone is going to hell because you are condemned by dreams which you can't control
Video idea: pointing out how messed up it is that God altered Pharaoh's free will just so he'd have an excuse to use all ten plagues since he worked super hard on them.
Actually, pharaoh hardened his own heart the first five times.
Can't get enough of this, MAKE THIS A MOTHERFUCKING SERIES
Zach: "I'm already in the bad place, aren't I."
This video is making me rethink my life choices
John 10:10 --- The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
i love how whenever the line "i don't make the rules" is used, like in the guidelines video, he gets progressively angier lmaoo
Skit idea- a sequel to this but Zach has to argue the 7 virtues to the devil to get out of hell
3:35 I'm a really careful driver, and this was probably me, my bad XD
And how did this video not end with him in hell after god heard the wrath speech 😂
About this slow driver is totally relatable.
That rant during the traffic one was straight outta an Xbox live chat
So many little details of peak comedy ❤ i love the 90s techno and the reading glasses over the sunglasses😂
In my trial the Devil would be my lawyer
Objection! Jealousy is not the same es envy! (Even though being "jealous" about the height of others is actually envy).
People often conflate them, but they are quite different.
what's the difference?
@@NoNameAtAll2 Love necessitates jealousy but is the antithesis of envy.
@@reubenmanzo2054
love is the opposite of envy?
love requires jealousy?
i don't see either of those when i look up antonyms and definitions of love.
@@NoNameAtAll2 You are envious of what others have and you are jealous of things that you have but others might take away (usually in the context of a boyfriend/girlfriend).
1:32 LOL, the GAYtway
"Would it help if I said I didn't enjoy the cooking class?" LMAO
The rant at the stoplight was wild 😂😂😂😂😂
_When the Devil is the Prosecutor_
“Well, I’m fucked…”
Coming with the P Diddy reference 5 months early.
“You’re GOD”
…..”I’m only human”
Skit Idea, Normal Guy who knows his way around the Bible, demasks the Jerk at the Table as not actually being God. Could even be a Multiparter with the Fallout
Eh, generic.
I would prefer either Jesus as defendant or guy that knows the bible, biblical history and theology basically be his own defendant.
I'd honestly just not die.
Yeah, proof nobody's good enough for Heaven anyway.
Have you seen the TV show *The Good Place* ?
0:34 r these real???
Why do you wanna know?
Not the P. Diddy baby sitter! 🤣🤣🤣
The clerk typing SENT ME HAHAHHA
"I don't make the rules."
I wish he'd eventually ask "Then who _does_ make the rules? Cause that must mean they're higher than you."
Every time you appeared on screen with your blank stares I couldn’t even tell if that was just a photo or you were being SOO still. Great videos, love ya❤
The whole family had reading glasses bruh💀💀💀
I wouldn't have a trial, I would go straight to heck
4:40 imagine getting pressed by God for this… I’d just throw myself into the pit
Lmao... god puts his glasses on over the top of his sunglassses. LMAOOOO
That is an amazing jury. 8 individual people all perfectly synchronized preparing to read the man diary.
So the only human defense doesn't count. Got it.
That P Diddy joke aged like fine wine lol
“No am not a protester”🤣🤣🤣
The wrath in the defendant’s statement “YES YOU FUCKING DO” cannot be held against him because this instance occurred after his death.
I suspect that jury might be biased. Just a hunch.
honestly i would have acquitted him on the driver alone, that truly proved he was a saint
3:45 my mom does that all the time. she watches the countdown on the crosswalk and if it’s at 5 seconds or less she’ll slow down and stop as soon as the light turns yellow.
i love that woman more than anything but there are not enough words created by mankind to describe how much fucking hate when people do that.
she gets mad at me because 100/100 times i go through the yellow
The Jury with the man-diary, pmsl Thank you for creating these videos 🙂
Now I have to google the defendant's search history. You know... For science.
Sexually assaulted by a Genie, three times. . Fucking gold!
the pdiddler line was so good
0:38 Okay this got way too real for me. But my lawyer's doing a he..heavenly good job!
Video idea (since we're doing that now)
When your about to be crucified but you change your mind
Dude, why is your face so funny? you crack me up just with your expressions
The slow driver rant of rage was so FUNNY!!! It hurts when I laugh! HAHAHA!
Skit idea: if someone from the stone age meets someone in 2024