3 ways a man demonstrates he wants a LTR with you: 1. Openly shares his future plans, goals , and aspirations with you. 2. Talks about dates in the future. 3. He connects you with his other 'long-term' people. Appreciate the information!
AW thanks so much Aarya truly appreciate that feedback... yes I am right there with you, can't wait to go viral and reach millions! It's truly a dream of mine and I deeply believe it's just a matter of time, as long as I stay committed to creating high quality content for my amazing tribe
i dont mean to be so off topic but does any of you know of a way to get back into an Instagram account?? I was dumb forgot my password. I would appreciate any assistance you can offer me
Be careful of individuals that future fake way too soon into the relationship. That's generally a sign of a narcissist or borderline. Do your homework now if you see this red flag.
@1991windsor exactly my thoughts! Future faking is a difficult thing to figure out...because it can be a real plan that a partner wants to make with you or a manipulation used by narcissist to keep you invested in the manipulashit...until he/she decides to devalue and discard you.
Here’s a red flag 🚩 for a future fake, when he doesn’t follow through on his promises. Big red flag. He’s drawing you in with words but takes no action. Observe ladies. You don’t even have to say much the first few months. Observe. Observe. Observe. If things seem flaky the first 3 months, then do yourself a favor and tell him thanks but no thanks! Cut it off. Don’t think things will get better. If he can’t “impress you” the first few months, you’re going to be one devastated woman down the road who wishes she would’ve had some standards early on.
@@sameena713 What about in the early stages of dating though, when you've perhaps exchanged texts and had a couple of phone calls, planned to meet, but then there's no follow through on his part? Granted - there's relatively low investment from both parties at this stage plus, from my perspective, I don't like to drag out texts for too long prior to meeting, but it feels super flakey when a guy makes plans and doesn't follow through. I've experienced many a flakey guy, all super eager to text daily & connect but zero follow through after planning a date! 😳🙄 @Mat Shaffer you should totally do a video on setting healthy boundaries around the initial stages of dating. I've tried to set boundaries when it comes to excessive texting & calling prior to a face to face meet & it's usually met with guys not respecting my boundaries so my having to cut things off dead or they appear to understand but then just flake. I don't geddit. I can't be texting a man daily as though we're dating before I've even met him, that feels fake to me!
I think it’s important to differentiate too between the men that talk about future plans super early in the connection or talk about it but don’t show other signs of commitment or progress in the relationship. I guess I’ve seen myself and other friends burned by talkers who later ghost or run away from the connection. If you have any tips for differentiating between the man that really means it and the man that doesn’t that would be helpful :) I’m guessing their actions would match their words on other basic things in the relationship
mmhm the way we do one thing tends to be the way we do everything! Trust your gut when it comes to men like that, in retrospect they always show their true colors pretty early on :)
Ladies!!! Please dont think if you're guy doesn't so these things to a T he's not into you. These tips are guidelines/references. Also, dont rush him into these types of references and get fustrated when he's like WTF. Dont force, let it flow.
well we are together for 5months now and he talk all the time about our baby boy 🙈he is thinking about the name 🙈 idont know how to think of this as a sign or not becouse i think it is too early for us to think about having kids?! How do you think?
That is why my last relationship was so confusing. My ex did all of these yet he is a Narcissist. I had to end it for my own Sanity yet parts of our relationship, just seemed so normal. Just out of curiosity is that something narcissist do to help reel u in ?
Thanks @@Mat_Shaffer ✌ this is why i get confused, so how do i tell the difference ? Hoping to join your course when i get back to work after my Back Op, u sure help clarify a lot of things. 💞
Would you talk about these things from the aspect of later in life? ie: someone reconnecting after death of a spouse, divorce, etc..a whole different story.
haha reminds me of a first date i went on, by the end the guy was super possessive and making plans for the future (even though he never bothered to see how i was feeling, i was not interested) so bc he was leaving town for the weekend he told me he was going to have his best friend take me out/watch over me for the weekend. Well his friend showed up to take me out and needless to say I had more chemistry with him than the first guy. So much for bro code.
thats a great question and one I was talking about with my community earlier today - I dont believe in super-set timelines but six months feels like a good initial threshold to me, at least for introducing to friends - family maybe a little longer? It will be super subjective to his relationships with these people but trust your gut on it :)
Introducing you is not a sure sign. One guy introduced me to his relatives (kids and parents when 3 weeks in) he left me 2 weeks later. He believed in his own illusion 😓
I was going to ask this same question. My boyfriend and I celebrated our 6 month anniversary Christmas day (2019), I met his children back at the end of August when they came up from FL to visit bc he only gets them every few months. He and I had already been exclusive for 2 months and things were great so he wanted to make sure the kids and I were going to connect before things got anymore serious. We all love each other. I haven't met any of his other family yet, however he told me before Christmas that a couple weeks after new years his whole family (parents, brother, sisters, spouses, nieces & nephews) are getting together for a monthly gathering (which they do every month) and he wants to take me to the January one to meet them all. I had been wondering if he was just stringing me along bc it felt like he was keeping me away from everyone he he spends the majority of his time with when he's not with me, and he kept telling me "I'm not ready" when I would mention him meeting my family... I'm really glad Mat said 6 months (maybe a little longer for family), that made me feel a lot more relaxed about it taking him so long to be ready!! I love watching your videos Mat!!
Hi Matt :) really appreciate your insight! I was wondering if the 3rd sign may differ when it comes to LDR? Maybe the timing of it? Not sure when it would be the right time
I just found your site tonight. Thank you, thank you. It's so nice to finally have someone actually share the tips and information, instead of an hour long advertisement to buy a program. I have been taking notes on about 8 of your programs. I will be back again.
I was in a relationship where he did all of this and even though we are now on a break, he still in some way seems like he is building me into his life but there is also a sense of distance too. I never want to give up on the possibility of making it work and hopefully with the other tips that I've been taking from your other videos, it will all work out. Thank you Mat for all of your amazing advice
Thanks Matt. This helped me so much. My guy has been talking about future plans for our next vacation. We just spent Christmas Eve & Christmas together. One day at his place, one day at mine. He also told me he felt called to be a pastor and just this weekend he showed me a church he was thinking about. It will be interesting to see how 2020 unfolds 😊
REALLY needed to see this video...Thank you so much Mat for all your video's. After 50 yrs it's nice to see how a man honestly thinks! I've been binge watching your video's for the past month!!
Thanks Mat, now i am more sure and confident that my bf is really into me, because of all the ideas you have shared here...at the same time you inspire me with ur thoughts and gave me more ideas on how to make our LDR work...God Bless
We were dating and then he broke up.. came back after 4 weeks and wanted fwb.. but suddenly we were going out and he invited med to spend Xmas with this family... what should i think? Should i ask the ”question” or wait? Thx
seems a little all over the place, I would hold your boundaries and not just jump all the way back in with him... let him earn his place in your life again!
My problem is that I am with this guy who sometimes his my boyfriend and sometimes just my friend ,when I ask what he wants he just goes like he loves me and that's all I need to know but I mean that's not enough... And when I distance myself from him that's when he shows interest but am tired I feel fooled... What can I do please help Mat?
Guess he doesn’t! I inadvertently reconnected him with his estranged daughter. So they discussed me at their reunion dinner today. Also he showed my old beautiful photo from 8 years ago to buddies at the VFW who all told him he was crazy to have let me go. Do these count?
Mat Shaffer After 20 years we reunited by phone 11/19/19, in person at my apt 12/21/19 and supposed to spend New Years Eve at his home. (he wants to go to bed together.) We were hot & steamy years ago, but now in our 70’s. He calls me everyday, sometimes more than once. We live 1 hour 15 from one another. I don't want a phone buddy. But maybe this just needs more time? Does it mean he spoke his true heart when he was drunk and spilled it all- shouldn’t have let me go should have treated me better, weird one: “did I ask you to marry me and what would you say?” convoluted sentence! Does this help you to understand better my question? thank you! Happy New Year.
I love that I saw this video today. My bf of 7 months told me this morning that he wants to build a future with me. He’s made it clear before that he wants to be together long term, but this is first time he’s referred to it as building something together. 😊❤
Why haven't you answered my question? Why is it ok for woman to go down on a man, but the man not want to go down on the woman? It's definitely not because she is not clean down town. What is your response? Don't send me a heart. Other woman want to know. Ty
It's definitely not that it's "not ok" for anyone to do oral sex or anyone else - if that's something that's important to you, you absolutely get to have it. Men may have lots of reasons for being resistance to going down on women - maybe they're inexperienced and self conscious about doing it, or have created immature (and definitely inaccurate) stories about women's hygiene, or they've got trauma there from a bad experience in the past, maybe they're just operating from ego and are not concerned or invested in a woman's pleasure. Regardless of what the reason may be, it's important that you not create a generalization that ALL men are uninterested or unwilling to go down on women, because it's simply not true and it doesn't serve you. If a man is unwilling to do that (or anything else) that's truly important to you, he doesn't get to be in your life - you get to stand for your happiness and the fulfillment (physical and otherwise) that you are deeply worthy of! Make sense?
@Vickie Diaz You seem rude how you're approaching this question. But I can answer one reason and that is some men's culture and religion won't allow that (Muslims). I think diet and exercise also play a huge part. No matter how much you shower, if your diet is crap, you smoke and don't excersice, it will be revealed through bodily fluids.
So when men (at my work) are talking or how they are building or had been successful in his career ..yet says about marriage & kids "why bother? at age 50. Why are they saying it like that?
My BF that’s been a while, he said that a while ago, Matt he was stationed in Florida I live where he is From Ca. He was on the beach with some marine friends & someone took a pic of this adorable blonde toddler boy. He sent me the pic & said he imagined if we had children that’s how they’d look. Is that an indication of a future ?
Hi your videos are excellent. I followed your advice and the man I fancied and fell in love with has asked me to marry him after 1 month. Is this too soon? He is 56 and I am 55.
Came across your video In my feed And video came on time I’m currently Dating a guy ( 3 months ) that wants Long term relationship possible Marriage. Things are coming along Well. He wants to bring me around His close friends and have talked About me to them as well. He’s planning a month or two meet his Friends. Love your soft voice and That smile ❤️
If the relationship is short-term but enjoyable, go for it as long as both are on the same page. Keep communication open, but be mindful of potential emotional challenges when it concludes. Thanks for sharing mazel Tov!
I have started seeing someone I have been talking to for a very long time. Not sure he is more than a fb. He would drop hints but I am not sure at the moment. He talks about his future and stuff and has said his going to the top and he wants to take me with him. But I think he is a fb. He does always reply to my messages and message me but I just think he can be courteous.
Mat, I enjoy your videos but would love to see some that actually pertain to married couples. My husband and I are approaching our 2nd anniversary. About 9 months ago something changed. I'm at a complete loss & am considering counseling on my own..... without his knowledge. 😢
@@Mat_Shaffer I don't know. I'm thinking probably not. But I am going to ask the counselor how to even approach him about it. My 1st session is today. Wish me luck! 😊
My dearest Matt, the long haul doesn't necessarily mean marriage, which is what I desire! He has shown all these things but not for marriage which makes me sad and possibly going to break up with him. We are both in our 60's. So sad!
Ohhh Mat! How did you know I was having this struggle in my head about him?🤣 Perfect timing once again! Sorry I'm late to the viewing just been A crazy few weeks. As I'm listening I'm pondering his actions this year and though they aren't the "typical" signs you listed, they are most definitely in those catagories! Granite currently its long distance due to his work but I keep getting in my head about it and questioning things because he doesn't really say much on it. However, we've discussed his goals, having future date nights when he is in town, he shares videos and updates on his son with me and on his family. I've already met his childhood bff, though that was before we started really connecting, his wife and him are both friends now with me on fb and are both interacting with me on a constant. (Though I've never met the friend's wife, she befriended me first) He's told me he has a very small circle of actual people he trusts and he considers me to be in his inner circle. So those count right?? 🤔 #Synchronicity
My ex fiance came back into my life and shut him down. Fiance has been there 4 long years and can come home but he says he gotta finish his work.....BALONEY!!! 😡 And we're NOT doing well 😑😡😞🤨🤔 Long distance relationships SUCK!!!! 😭
Encourage open communication, active listening, and empathy to understand the root causes of negative feelings. Consider seeking professional help for unresolved issues and promote the idea of establishing boundaries or fostering reconciliation if appropriate and safe. Encourage personal growth activities and explore the possibility of forgiveness for emotional well-being. Thanks for sharing!
@@Mat_Shaffer oops I should've said trying to talk quietly. Either way, we could hear your wonderful and helpful advice- that's what matters. I hope your throat is better now, and everything's going well. Thanks for everything, friend 🤗
Hi Mat Coach I really Learned and still Learning from your Authentic Truthly Clear Amazing Advices. They are inspirational and Clear Honest Advices coming from A Man. And I Liked That Your Honest Cyrstal Clear of it. You Really Are Genuinely A Human Being w Morals and Values. BLESSINGS to you.🙏 🎚. Continue Your Gifted Talented Way Coach Mat. Looking forward to continue Learning from The Master Coach.😘
@@Mat_Shaffer haha! You mean "it means so much to me!" being greeted by you! Nah but seriously Mat I have a lot of questions that I don't even know where to start! Because I wana be specific and precise
This is all great instruction but I would like to add this to it...yes...there are some men who do this but with the internet there are also a group of men who future fake with women and then set you up to email one of their children ...yet the child sounds like him playing the child...and all this is done to get you to send him money...just wanted to put another light on it as well.
I date only younger men, not many normal ones single & my peers! Take is one day at a time. Macaron & Bridgette are 30 years apart! French President! However, for Matt future planning can be a bunch of baloney! I had 2 men LIE LIE LIE about future planning & idk why cuz i was happy to just take it day by day to see what develops. Matt is ASSUMING the man is Not a liar 🤥
You know, I love your videos and I get some of the best advice from here. However, when I look at my personal situations (I’m probably on the fairly younger side of the audience) and I realized that this advice goes for men, not...boys. Boys in the sense that they don’t know what they want, they haven’t really emotionally matured yet, and that they’re...well...young. Like 17-20 age range is still basically kids. And as a young woman, it’s hard to know that you want a relationship that is committed and mature when a vast majority of your peers are just not there yet. And as we transition from teenager to adult, life is tricky in the sense that we all mature in different ways and at different rates. But your advice still holds majority true, it’s just that it’s harder to apply and harder to detect, because the guy(s) I’m interested in are just not men yet.
I’m a SOOOO tired of waiting to see if a man ‘will want me’. I was seeing a dude for almost a year.. he did steps 1 and 2.. then one sunday a few weeks ago had another great date. haven’t heard from him since. I have NO IDEA what happened. I don’t really know what else I could have possibly done.
Bre Bre omg i had too! A guy has done this with FAKE long term planes- totally pushing forward while i was happy - chemistry, crazy about esch other as soon as we met! Disappears & always an excuse- Hes a marine. I think these men are NUT JOBS
My boyfriend is filling in the two firsts but the third is quite weird, I know his parents but he doesn’t want them to know that we’re together (he told me that they don’t need to know about that), it has just been 2 months since we’re officially together but we were best friends before for like 1 year and a half, and he’s quite shy, he hasn’t kissed me yet (we have just seen 3 times because of the confinement), he told me that he wanted to go forward step by step), should I worry about the fact that he doesn’t want to talk about us to his parents, I don’t it to be because he doesn’t want a long term relation ship with me, I hope that it is because he’s extremely shy about his feelings and don’t want to spread this piece of news right now. (He’s 15,5years old, and I’m 17 years old but we’re in the same class, and that’s the first time for both too that we are in a love relation ship). I hope I didn’t bother you too much with my worries and I’m sorry for my unwanted bad grammar/vocabulary or else (I’m French), well good evening guys ! 😊
→ Join my FREE live coaching love + relationship course starting next month! 👉 masteryofconnection.com/
3 ways a man demonstrates he wants a LTR with you:
1. Openly shares his future plans, goals , and aspirations with you.
2. Talks about dates in the future.
3. He connects you with his other 'long-term' people.
Appreciate the information!
Great points!
I can't believe you haven't gone viral yet. Your videos are always helpful and on point:)
AW thanks so much Aarya truly appreciate that feedback... yes I am right there with you, can't wait to go viral and reach millions! It's truly a dream of mine and I deeply believe it's just a matter of time, as long as I stay committed to creating high quality content for my amazing tribe
And you are a stalker.
@@tienvannetten.1997 Excuse me? What?
i dont mean to be so off topic but does any of you know of a way to get back into an Instagram account??
I was dumb forgot my password. I would appreciate any assistance you can offer me
Some men will introduce you to their family and still ditch you. So it’s not really a sure sign.
yep not a sure sign, just a potential indicator!
They could just say I want to be with you. Life is funny
sometimes they do!
Be careful of individuals that future fake way too soon into the relationship. That's generally a sign of a narcissist or borderline. Do your homework now if you see this red flag.
Future fake, I like this term. Is that like selling u a dream before you get a chance to see it unfold through his consistent investment and action?
@1991windsor exactly my thoughts! Future faking is a difficult thing to figure out...because it can be a real plan that a partner wants to make with you or a manipulation used by narcissist to keep you invested in the manipulashit...until he/she decides to devalue and discard you.
Here’s a red flag 🚩 for a future fake, when he doesn’t follow through on his promises. Big red flag. He’s drawing you in with words but takes no action. Observe ladies. You don’t even have to say much the first few months. Observe. Observe. Observe. If things seem flaky the first 3 months, then do yourself a favor and tell him thanks but no thanks! Cut it off. Don’t think things will get better. If he can’t “impress you” the first few months, you’re going to be one devastated woman down the road who wishes she would’ve had some standards early on.
great discussion ladies! yes practice discernment always!
@@sameena713 What about in the early stages of dating though, when you've perhaps exchanged texts and had a couple of phone calls, planned to meet, but then there's no follow through on his part? Granted - there's relatively low investment from both parties at this stage plus, from my perspective, I don't like to drag out texts for too long prior to meeting, but it feels super flakey when a guy makes plans and doesn't follow through. I've experienced many a flakey guy, all super eager to text daily & connect but zero follow through after planning a date! 😳🙄
@Mat Shaffer you should totally do a video on setting healthy boundaries around the initial stages of dating. I've tried to set boundaries when it comes to excessive texting & calling prior to a face to face meet & it's usually met with guys not respecting my boundaries so my having to cut things off dead or they appear to understand but then just flake. I don't geddit. I can't be texting a man daily as though we're dating before I've even met him, that feels fake to me!
Love the summary style Mat. It's easy to forget but then you remind us. 😊👍
YES glad you enjoy that! gotta wrap it up with the summary :)
"Conductor of the heart" I L💖VE that, such a nice way to describe a woman's role in relationship.
I think it’s important to differentiate too between the men that talk about future plans super early in the connection or talk about it but don’t show other signs of commitment or progress in the relationship. I guess I’ve seen myself and other friends burned by talkers who later ghost or run away from the connection. If you have any tips for differentiating between the man that really means it and the man that doesn’t that would be helpful :) I’m guessing their actions would match their words on other basic things in the relationship
mmhm the way we do one thing tends to be the way we do everything! Trust your gut when it comes to men like that, in retrospect they always show their true colors pretty early on :)
Ladies!!! Please dont think if you're guy doesn't so these things to a T he's not into you. These tips are guidelines/references. Also, dont rush him into these types of references and get fustrated when he's like WTF. Dont force, let it flow.
good call!
@@Mat_Shaffer yes someone had to add that disclaimer
JOIN MY FREE LOVE COURSE HERE (we start 8/9/21) - masteryofconnection.com
Hi Mat, are you single? Just asking ✌😅
Aloha Mat! Am I too late?
nope!!
so much fun!
haha single :)
QUESTION OF THE DAY - What are the biggest signs YOU'VE experienced from men that let you know they want a relationship with you?
aww SO SWEET! love this share
@Kat Loveslife
Wow... Hey remember me? I too am dating a younger guy 33-yr-old 😜
@Mat: they've told me they wanna be exclusive /marry me, straight up!
well we are together for 5months now and he talk all the time about our baby boy 🙈he is thinking about the name 🙈 idont know how to think of this as a sign or not becouse i think it is too early for us to think about having kids?! How do you think?
When I showed up after 3 weeks to his place with my guinea pig and he made place for the cage 🥰 I never left for the next 10 years.
That is why my last relationship was so confusing. My ex did all of these yet he is a Narcissist. I had to end it for my own Sanity yet parts of our relationship, just seemed so normal. Just out of curiosity is that something narcissist do to help reel u in ?
it could be love bombing! important to practice discernment with men and pace things out!
Thanks @@Mat_Shaffer ✌ this is why i get confused, so how do i tell the difference ?
Hoping to join your course when i get back to work after my Back Op, u sure help clarify a lot of things. 💞
@Danielle M. thank u for replying 🤔
Yes. They will even try to marry you right away so that you don't see what they are and dump them.
Would you talk about these things from the aspect of later in life? ie: someone reconnecting after death of a spouse, divorce, etc..a whole different story.
Great tip!
He introduced me to his friend, and I fell in love with his friend 😊
And...?! Are you in relationship with his friend?
And...? Are you in relationship with his friend?
You are funny Selvi. Really? You fell in love with the friend?
haha OUCH guess he learned that one the hard way!
haha reminds me of a first date i went on, by the end the guy was super possessive and making plans for the future (even though he never bothered to see how i was feeling, i was not interested) so bc he was leaving town for the weekend he told me he was going to have his best friend take me out/watch over me for the weekend. Well his friend showed up to take me out and needless to say I had more chemistry with him than the first guy. So much for bro code.
How long should I wait for him to introduce me to the "long term" people in his life?
thats a great question and one I was talking about with my community earlier today - I dont believe in super-set timelines but six months feels like a good initial threshold to me, at least for introducing to friends - family maybe a little longer? It will be super subjective to his relationships with these people but trust your gut on it :)
Introducing you is not a sure sign. One guy introduced me to his relatives (kids and parents when 3 weeks in) he left me 2 weeks later. He believed in his own illusion 😓
I was going to ask this same question. My boyfriend and I celebrated our 6 month anniversary Christmas day (2019), I met his children back at the end of August when they came up from FL to visit bc he only gets them every few months. He and I had already been exclusive for 2 months and things were great so he wanted to make sure the kids and I were going to connect before things got anymore serious. We all love each other. I haven't met any of his other family yet, however he told me before Christmas that a couple weeks after new years his whole family (parents, brother, sisters, spouses, nieces & nephews) are getting together for a monthly gathering (which they do every month) and he wants to take me to the January one to meet them all. I had been wondering if he was just stringing me along bc it felt like he was keeping me away from everyone he he spends the majority of his time with when he's not with me, and he kept telling me "I'm not ready" when I would mention him meeting my family... I'm really glad Mat said 6 months (maybe a little longer for family), that made me feel a lot more relaxed about it taking him so long to be ready!! I love watching your videos Mat!!
I am in love with your smile! Beautiful teeth!!! TAKE NOTE MEN!!!
😲💕🍭👄💋💞
awww thanks so much!! :)
Hi Matt :) really appreciate your insight! I was wondering if the 3rd sign may differ when it comes to LDR? Maybe the timing of it? Not sure when it would be the right time
YES LDR definitely changes the timing stuff... its always gonna be subjective based on how fast the relationship develops
Clear and concise. Nicely presented, Mat! Thank you.
BOOM thanks my dear so glad you enjoyed it! :)
I just found your site tonight. Thank you, thank you. It's so nice to finally have someone actually share the tips and information, instead of an hour long advertisement to buy a program. I have been taking notes on about 8 of your programs. I will be back again.
WONEDRFUL so glad you liked it!
I was in a relationship where he did all of this and even though we are now on a break, he still in some way seems like he is building me into his life but there is also a sense of distance too. I never want to give up on the possibility of making it work and hopefully with the other tips that I've been taking from your other videos, it will all work out. Thank you Mat for all of your amazing advice
You are so welcome Taymar Rogers! 🙏
Do you have a video for older women looking for a man to spend his golden years with...50s, 60s, 70s?
th-cam.com/video/8qxYDd0VsoI/w-d-xo.html
Thanks Matt. This helped me so much. My guy has been talking about future plans for our next vacation. We just spent Christmas Eve & Christmas together. One day at his place, one day at mine. He also told me he felt called to be a pastor and just this weekend he showed me a church he was thinking about. It will be interesting to see how 2020 unfolds 😊
wonderful share! lots of exciting stuff ahead for you!
If a man says he wants a family IT DOES NOT MEAN HE WANTS A FAMILY WITH YOU. Men know what women want to hear.
sometimes!
REALLY needed to see this video...Thank you so much Mat for all your video's. After 50 yrs it's nice to see how a man honestly thinks! I've been binge watching your video's for the past month!!
Thank you so much!! I really appreciate hearing that from you. 🤗❤️
Thanks Mat, now i am more sure and confident that my bf is really into me, because of all the ideas you have shared here...at the same time you inspire me with ur thoughts and gave me more ideas on how to make our LDR work...God Bless
Happy to hear that!
We were dating and then he broke up.. came back after 4 weeks and wanted fwb.. but suddenly we were going out and he invited med to spend Xmas with this family... what should i think?
Should i ask the ”question” or wait? Thx
seems a little all over the place, I would hold your boundaries and not just jump all the way back in with him... let him earn his place in your life again!
Nope dont ask the question BIG MISTAKE IT WOULD BE
how many lasting one's 😆😂😂
Don’t give up on love sister!
You sure you're not a ASMR artist?😌😴😴😴
ᏝᎧᏉᏋᏒ haha I wanna start an ASMR channel I think that would be fun!!
@@Mat_Shaffer 2020 is the year for your asmr career 🤣
@@Mat_Shaffer lol.
Speak up! Why are you whispering?
was I??!
@@Mat_Shaffer lol.
I think it s exciting and relaxing at the same time the way you speak.
I know my man is a builder he loves to build to other women too.
uhoh thats not good!
Hahaha
My problem is that I am with this guy who sometimes his my boyfriend and sometimes just my friend ,when I ask what he wants he just goes like he loves me and that's all I need to know but I mean that's not enough... And when I distance myself from him that's when he shows interest but am tired I feel fooled... What can I do please help Mat?
situationship! If he isnt willing to give you what you need you get to let him go
Way to go... Thanx Mat
Guess he doesn’t! I inadvertently reconnected him with his estranged daughter. So they discussed me at their reunion dinner today. Also he showed my old beautiful photo from 8 years ago to buddies at the VFW who all told him he was crazy to have let me go. Do these count?
I mean they could! But you two arent together anymore?
Mat Shaffer After 20 years we reunited by phone 11/19/19, in person at my apt 12/21/19 and supposed to spend New Years Eve at his home. (he wants to go to bed together.) We were hot & steamy years ago, but now in our 70’s.
He calls me everyday, sometimes more than once. We live 1 hour 15 from one another. I don't want a phone buddy. But maybe this just needs more time?
Does it mean he spoke his true heart when he was drunk and spilled it all- shouldn’t have let me go should have treated me better, weird one: “did I ask you to marry me and what would you say?” convoluted sentence!
Does this help you to understand better my question? thank you! Happy New Year.
The scoop on relationship is awesome to build a strong communication, understanding and bound strong hold partnerships. Yo matt you be on point.
YESS love it! thanks Rosa, you totally get it!!
Thank you, And Thank You
I love that I saw this video today. My bf of 7 months told me this morning that he wants to build a future with me. He’s made it clear before that he wants to be together long term, but this is first time he’s referred to it as building something together. 😊❤
Happy for you my dear! ❤❤❤
Why haven't you answered my question? Why is it ok for woman to go down on a man, but the man not want to go down on the woman? It's definitely not because she is not clean down town. What is your response? Don't send me a heart. Other woman want to know. Ty
It's definitely not that it's "not ok" for anyone to do oral sex or anyone else - if that's something that's important to you, you absolutely get to have it. Men may have lots of reasons for being resistance to going down on women - maybe they're inexperienced and self conscious about doing it, or have created immature (and definitely inaccurate) stories about women's hygiene, or they've got trauma there from a bad experience in the past, maybe they're just operating from ego and are not concerned or invested in a woman's pleasure. Regardless of what the reason may be, it's important that you not create a generalization that ALL men are uninterested or unwilling to go down on women, because it's simply not true and it doesn't serve you. If a man is unwilling to do that (or anything else) that's truly important to you, he doesn't get to be in your life - you get to stand for your happiness and the fulfillment (physical and otherwise) that you are deeply worthy of! Make sense?
@Vickie Diaz You seem rude how you're approaching this question. But I can answer one reason and that is some men's culture and religion won't allow that (Muslims). I think diet and exercise also play a huge part. No matter how much you shower, if your diet is crap, you smoke and don't excersice, it will be revealed through bodily fluids.
Thank you, my diet is fine. God bless
@@genevalivingstone1929 your nuts and it's my opinion. The End
@@genevalivingstone1929 damn you seem so angry and emotional. My initial response was to Vickie Diaz not Mat.
I’m only getting the first 2 but he talks about his family and friends to me.
Yay! You deserve a great guy :)
So when men (at my work) are talking or how they are building or had been successful in his career ..yet says about marriage & kids "why bother? at age 50. Why are they saying it like that?
Thanks for sharing!
My BF that’s been a while, he said that a while ago, Matt he was stationed in Florida I live where he is From Ca.
He was on the beach with some marine friends & someone took a pic of this adorable blonde toddler boy. He sent me the pic & said he imagined if we had children that’s how they’d look.
Is that an indication of a future ?
Thanks for sharing!
Hi your videos are excellent. I followed your advice and the man I fancied and fell in love with has asked me to marry him after 1 month. Is this too soon? He is 56 and I am 55.
Wonderful!
Thanks, he has ticked all 3, keep on posting. It's really helpful.
Thanks, will do!
He introduced me to his friends but not to his family so is that a red flag especially since its been a year we've been dating?
I promise there are good guys out there my dear!
I think i have an idea but i can be wrong....thank you. Wishing you a happy new year and a new dear?
Hahaha,😀 ....😊💏
happy new year!
Thank you excellent and to the point. O hear the words but I don't see those actions. This just clarified things for me thank you.
fantastic you got it!!
Came across your video In my feed
And video came on time I’m currently
Dating a guy ( 3 months ) that wants
Long term relationship possible
Marriage. Things are coming along
Well. He wants to bring me around
His close friends and have talked
About me to them as well. He’s
planning a month or two meet his
Friends. Love your soft voice and
That smile ❤️
so glad you enjoyed it :)
This guy did all three and he pulls out at the end. Who does that?!? What a jerk! How will we know when it’s red flags? 🤔
you cant always anticipate them ahead of time! im sure there are other thinsg you learned from him right?
When you know its short term but it's good is it worth to pursue a committed relationship?
If the relationship is short-term but enjoyable, go for it as long as both are on the same page. Keep communication open, but be mindful of potential emotional challenges when it concludes. Thanks for sharing mazel Tov!
This video really helps, I REALLY needed to hear this. Thank you 😘
Glad it was helpful!
Could you please talk a little bit louder for those of us who don't hear as well as we used to. Thanks!
Hi Melissa, will do! ☺️ Thanks for watching!
I have started seeing someone I have been talking to for a very long time. Not sure he is more than a fb. He would drop hints but I am not sure at the moment. He talks about his future and stuff and has said his going to the top and he wants to take me with him. But I think he is a fb. He does always reply to my messages and message me but I just think he can be courteous.
ask him directly and see what he says! Whatdo you have to lose?
Mat, I enjoy your videos but would love to see some that actually pertain to married couples.
My husband and I are approaching our 2nd anniversary. About 9 months ago something changed. I'm at a complete loss & am considering counseling on my own..... without his knowledge. 😢
would he be open to counseling together?
@@Mat_Shaffer I don't know. I'm thinking probably not. But I am going to ask the counselor how to even approach him about it. My 1st session is today.
Wish me luck! 😊
My dearest Matt, the long haul doesn't necessarily mean marriage, which is what I desire! He has shown all these things but not for marriage which makes me sad and possibly going to break up with him. We are both in our 60's. So sad!
Thanks for sharing!
Ohhh Mat! How did you know I was having this struggle in my head about him?🤣 Perfect timing once again! Sorry I'm late to the viewing just been A crazy few weeks. As I'm listening I'm pondering his actions this year and though they aren't the "typical" signs you listed, they are most definitely in those catagories! Granite currently its long distance due to his work but I keep getting in my head about it and questioning things because he doesn't really say much on it. However, we've discussed his goals, having future date nights when he is in town, he shares videos and updates on his son with me and on his family. I've already met his childhood bff, though that was before we started really connecting, his wife and him are both friends now with me on fb and are both interacting with me on a constant. (Though I've never met the friend's wife, she befriended me first) He's told me he has a very small circle of actual people he trusts and he considers me to be in his inner circle. So those count right?? 🤔
#Synchronicity
yes they definitely count!! thats a breakthrough for him!
@@Mat_Shaffer sweet!!! 😊 though I'm not sure how that's considered a breakthrough for him. Can you elaborate slightly on that please??
Within a month he's already planning a trip to Tokyo and see him in London after he comes here first
Amazing! Happy to hear that!
My ex fiance came back into my life and shut him down. Fiance has been there 4 long years and can come home but he says he gotta finish his work.....BALONEY!!! 😡 And we're NOT doing well 😑😡😞🤨🤔
Long distance relationships SUCK!!!! 😭
My ex did said those shit too, and him dumped me after a moth
It’s 100% possible to heal and create something new
thank you so much for sharing this vedio Mat! very well said . . .
you are so welcome glad you enjoyed it!
Thanks, Mat. That is such a beautiful explanation of how men see serious relationship.
wonderful glad you enioyed it :)
What if he hates his siblings and parents?
Encourage open communication, active listening, and empathy to understand the root causes of negative feelings. Consider seeking professional help for unresolved issues and promote the idea of establishing boundaries or fostering reconciliation if appropriate and safe. Encourage personal growth activities and explore the possibility of forgiveness for emotional well-being. Thanks for sharing!
These are just bumming me out.
I appreciate your opinion on this!
Thank you so much massage Awesome yes women deeper love you
so glad you liked it! :)
Can you speak louder?
I appreciate your feedback!
Haha Mat you're whispering 😆
really? ❤️🔥
@@Mat_Shaffer oops I should've said trying to talk quietly. Either way, we could hear your wonderful and helpful advice- that's what matters. I hope your throat is better now, and everything's going well.
Thanks for everything, friend 🤗
Great video love from UK
Many thanks!
Hi Mat Coach
I really Learned and still Learning from your Authentic Truthly Clear Amazing Advices. They are inspirational and Clear Honest Advices coming from A Man. And I Liked That Your Honest Cyrstal Clear of it. You Really Are Genuinely A Human Being w Morals and Values.
BLESSINGS to you.🙏 🎚.
Continue Your Gifted Talented Way Coach Mat.
Looking forward to continue Learning from The Master Coach.😘
aww love it my dear! Thank you for your kind words, they truly touch my heart! 🤗❤️
Mat!!! Belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! I wish you the best of life has to offer !
Aw thanks Yasmin happy holidays to you as well!! :) means a lot to me!!
@@Mat_Shaffer haha! You mean "it means so much to me!" being greeted by you! Nah but seriously Mat I have a lot of questions that I don't even know where to start! Because I wana be specific and precise
This is all great instruction but I would like to add this to it...yes...there are some men who do this but with the internet there are also a group of men who future fake with women and then set you up to email one of their children ...yet the child sounds like him playing the child...and all this is done to get you to send him money...just wanted to put another light on it as well.
Thanks for sharing!
Hi Mat what if you are 24 years older than your man ....what future can there be ..love your posts
I date only younger men, not many normal ones single & my peers! Take is one day at a time. Macaron & Bridgette are 30 years apart! French President! However, for Matt future planning can be a bunch of baloney! I had 2 men LIE LIE LIE about future planning & idk why cuz i was happy to just take it day by day to see what develops. Matt is ASSUMING the man is Not a liar 🤥
Your volume is to low
I appreciate your feedback!
Hello Mat, happy holiday ❤️😘🇦🇹
hi there, Charity! happy holidays to you as well!!!
Second over here🤣🤣
WELL DONE!!
Thank you Mat!!!
Your welcome
You know, I love your videos and I get some of the best advice from here.
However, when I look at my personal situations (I’m probably on the fairly younger side of the audience) and I realized that this advice goes for men, not...boys. Boys in the sense that they don’t know what they want, they haven’t really emotionally matured yet, and that they’re...well...young. Like 17-20 age range is still basically kids. And as a young woman, it’s hard to know that you want a relationship that is committed and mature when a vast majority of your peers are just not there yet. And as we transition from teenager to adult, life is tricky in the sense that we all mature in different ways and at different rates.
But your advice still holds majority true, it’s just that it’s harder to apply and harder to detect, because the guy(s) I’m interested in are just not men yet.
mmhm younger can be tricky! men at that age are generally not very mature :)
That is our problem we are in love and come both from the Netherlands
I appreciate your opinion on this!
thank you so much for an inspiring vedious of you,more power to you！
So nice of you!
Great video Mat! Mahalo!
Glad you enjoyed it!
I’m a SOOOO tired of waiting to see if a man ‘will want me’. I was seeing a dude for almost a year.. he did steps 1 and 2.. then one sunday a few weeks ago had another great date. haven’t heard from him since. I have NO IDEA what happened. I don’t really know what else I could have possibly done.
Bre Bre that third key is also very important! We will unpack this in MoM with you 🤗🤗❤️
Wasn't you, it's him.
Bre Bre omg i had too! A guy has done this with FAKE long term planes- totally pushing forward while i was happy - chemistry, crazy about esch other as soon as we met! Disappears & always an excuse- Hes a marine. I think these men are NUT JOBS
Karen Lynch hahahaha.. love it! nut jobs!! 😂
Umm I need your help
Ive got plenty of videos!
😊👍🏻❤️
Thanks so much my dear!
👑🙏
:):):)
I love your voice 😍😘❤️
thank you!
My boyfriend is filling in the two firsts but the third is quite weird, I know his parents but he doesn’t want them to know that we’re together (he told me that they don’t need to know about that), it has just been 2 months since we’re officially together but we were best friends before for like 1 year and a half, and he’s quite shy, he hasn’t kissed me yet (we have just seen 3 times because of the confinement), he told me that he wanted to go forward step by step), should I worry about the fact that he doesn’t want to talk about us to his parents, I don’t it to be because he doesn’t want a long term relation ship with me, I hope that it is because he’s extremely shy about his feelings and don’t want to spread this piece of news right now. (He’s 15,5years old, and I’m 17 years old but we’re in the same class, and that’s the first time for both too that we are in a love relation ship). I hope I didn’t bother you too much with my worries and I’m sorry for my unwanted bad grammar/vocabulary or else (I’m French), well good evening guys ! 😊
hey Estelle, how are you doing? did your relationship go further?
Thanks for sharing!
Hi! Thank you.😊
welcome!
Great Video Mat, Thank-You! 👍🏽💫😃🌟
Glad you enjoyed it Paula-Elizabeth! 🙌
Thank you for the great insight this answer all my insecurities !!
So glad my content supports you😊
Thanks for sharing, it’s enlighten me of this, God bless😇🙏
You are so welcome
3rd🤣🤣
NOT BAD!! haha
Mat’s videos have helped me the most with my relationship.
Amazing my dear so so happy for you!
New subs here 😘
wonderful happy to have you!
I haven’t got a him yet.
Find me one 😂
Thanks for sharing!
What if family dont approve?
I appreciate your opinion on this!
You are hot! Just putting it out there lmao
I so appreciate you saying that that was so sweet of you!
What if u want kids but he says he doesn't Will the relationship still work?
No.
ususally not! :)
l love you're video well done ;0
Thank you for your kind words, they truly touch my heart!
Greqt video
yessss
I’m first 🤣🤣😂😂
HAHA Kiki is back!! love it!!
Mat Shaffer Lol yes 😜😜
Really enjoyed that video .
Glad you enjoyed it
Very good information
Thanks!! 🙌❤️
narcissist can act too
they certainly can
Some of these things I did without even realizing:)
Even to friends as well as crushes.
youre a smooth operator Shaun!
☺️💚💜